120: No Rings with Shaun Murphy | Soder Podcast | EP 118

hey everybody thanks for watching the podcast hope you had a good super bowl sunday and um i don't know who won yet but if it's the seattle seahawks you and if it's the boston patriots thank you that's how i feel that's genuinely how i feel um no for real i uh this is a very fun episode this is sean right yeah this is sean murphy he's one of the best speaking of sean murphy he's gonna be with me on the road come see me on the road orlando uh that is february 13th that's this friday i'm gonna be with matt ross and brendan sagalow saturday's tampa same lineup then february 28th buffalo new york me sean murphy pete ravello what a fucking show dan soter.com for tickets all of the remaining dates for the golden retriever of comedy tour are up if you live in boston we added a nine o'clock show if you live in philly the tickets are there we also got durham raleigh we're all over the place dan soter.com for tickets thank you very much for watching the podcast the most important is thank you for coming out to the shows it's been so fun um and enjoy the podcast and i'm sorry for the sports talk a lot of sports talk heads up sports talk but you know what sean and i were talking sean's a giant from buffalo uh favorite son of buffalo go watch sean murphy special on youtube right now he's fucking hilarious and he's a sports fan from buffalo so you have to our rivalry is done that's true that's true i brought out the sabers are good so i brought out the sabers swag that's what people don't understand that about sports fandom for those of you that don't know sports fandom a lot of it is the uh merch that's that's big yeah it's very big i i uh the seahawks just blew out the niners in the playoffs and i was like well the 49er hat will be retired for a little bit san francisco giants welcome back you're like we're bringing out is that what you do with the bills oh yeah the sabers are doing all right yeah which hasn't happened in 15 years yeah but uh great colors i like your original colors i like your new colors the black and red i can ride with the buffalo head yeah that was my high school logo oh it was the buffalo sabers when you guys switched we switched to that wow i was like super hyped to get but our high school colors were red and green christmas colors not great tough we were pretty mad at my high school for picking green and red not a great combo you i guess this will probably come out after the super bowl but you gotta root for boston right yeah katie's a huge patriots fan and i'm anybody but the seahawks yeah i'm also willing to admit that uh the seahawks are very very good this year fans got so mad at me because i shit on the seahawks fans after they beat the niners and watching people get like um for real with you when you don't know them when they're like hey still a lot fucked up shit about seattle and you go yeah i was just mad because you guys beat the niners and they're like it's not cool they're like yeah it's sports fandom yeah that's that's where you're supposed to get out the mental illness not to your neighbor exactly you're supposed to go like what colors do you like you fucking suck and then they go no i don't you go no no you know the amount of hate i have for boston sports is like makes me mentally ill like i'm trying to work on it because i think i have a problem is it because they've been doing it for a long time they've done nothing but succeed and buffalo has just done nothing but lose in the biggest moments well i saw this instagram reel once which is an embarrassing way to start a sentence but this is how most hate started this is you know a guy told me once they broke down the teams boston sports have beaten by number of victories and like one's the yankees right two's like the knicks three's the tigers don't mind any of those four is the bills which is insane because they play the bills twice a year since the 70s the yankees and the red sox have played like 20 times a year since like the fucking civil war like they shouldn't be on the same bad they just beat the shit out of you guys so i've just become like sports joker when it comes to boston sports and i have like a problem that i'm trying to work on because i it goes to every it like i hope boston kids lose yeah well like if the world league little league world series is boston versus san antonio i hope the boston kids lose so bad they quit and become artists but that's see that's crazy that is that's a lot of hate that is a lot of hate i would but what's crazy is when you hate your own fan base because of it like i bet there's a lot of old red sox fans or old patriots fans that resent obviously they want the patriots to be good right but then they resent the kids that were born in like oh two yeah yeah because i used to catch that with 49ers fans yeah 49ers weren't good in the 60s and 70s wasn't until bill walsh came along in 79 that the 49ers were good in the 60s and 70s and started improving so i was born in 83 so i had friends of my dad and like people that we knew from the bay area being like you don't fucking know yeah you don't know what it's like to grow up through three decades of losses yeah and patriots fans have to be like that patriots in the 90s were like not a threat oh yeah 80s 90s you were you guys were great in the early 90s yeah and they were just like a laughingstock probably in the early 90s there's people in buffalo like ho ho got our two wins this year and then now they're just absolutely deep dicking you for the last 26 years they've just been in it that that's what happens i'm going through it right now with the dodgers the dodgers are so good they're gonna break baseball yeah yeah well also they're not that good they just buy everybody well i've always buy everybody and if you're a dodgers fan you can't even argue that yeah you can't go like no we really built up mookie bets uh fucking they just paid tucker them more they paid more to their sixth batter in the lineup than the star of the mets yeah that's how much money the dodgers well i've always been a sports fan maybe coming from buffalo i don't care about greatness about dynasties i only care about fan bases winning for the first time like oh like so like well that's because that's you yes but i have no interest like i haven't watched the super bowl in eight years really i don't care because like it's too heartbreaking and like who i who am i gonna root for between seattle and boston like al-qaeda no i i don't see why do you hate seattle because but i don't hate them but they won it 12 years ago there's no that's crazy that's only something a buffalo fan could say we haven't won it in 30 years and i think that's crazy i go so what they're seattle like i don't have a problem with the patriots because they never hurt the 49ers the seattle seahawks are in are playing the super bowl in our stadium and beat out of us to get there yeah fuck them i hope they lost i know it's gonna come out after they might have won but i hope they fucking lose and i don't want to see my fiance sad so i don't really like those are good reasons yeah but like uh chiefs eagles last year yeah well i just do the lesser of two evils the chiefs beat us twice in the super bowl the eagles beat us in the nfc championship game but i have a ton of friends that are eagles fans but to me it's like watching like who's gonna win a million dollars elon or bill gates i'm like that's what i'm gonna do i'm gonna win a no interest in that well that's what i that's the interesting part about the dodgers and what they're doing the baseball is there's no salary cap in baseball so they're paying otani like like 900 million but they're giving them a dollar a year and so they can go like well we can afford it we can go get uh the diaz the closer from the mets or we can go sign tucker like they can just go buy people and it's like we had blake snell and they just paid him a shit ton of money and he went to the dodgers and then they do a thing where they win the world series and they win the world series and they go i always wanted to win worlds it's like shut the fuck up rich kids you make me feel like rich kids it's just like shut the fuck up i don't care that you went through anything bad you bought it you bought everything and now there's going to be a collective bargaining agreement like it's up and baseball's going to shut down because they're going to have to go you have to put a salary cap yeah which is what we're learning in america but then the billionaires go like that's communism and you go it's really not yeah i think jeff bezos is okay with a billion dollars right anybody that argues for more than that you're a bootlicker yeah i agree you're sucking his dick i don't have respect after the obscene files dropped i have no respect for anybody that that caps for fuck or goes to bat for any of these fucking millionaires yeah whatever the modern word is whoever fucking sucks their dick i don't have respect for you because it's out there now it's all proven that they were fucking with us yeah and if you can't go fucking i know he's not in the files but he committed war crimes in yemen it's like why are we why do we like the teacher now they've convinced us to like the teacher it sucks yeah and that's my sports thing is i can't the one percent so many sports teams are the one championships to you yeah you know what's funny though man is i did that uh i think boston sports is the elon musk of sports and i but the one percent the guy the guy's evil and you go i bet it and you know what's funny is that's what happens to uh you know we only know comics but actors and bands and musicians when they get famous uh and then they're in the room with them and then they go he's not bad it's like if i took you to a patriots game you go gillette's not a bad stadium oh yeah you know you go pretty good they got lobster rolls there that's pretty fun that's fun i haven't had a lobster roll that's the thing you know you're doing comedy you have friends from all over so you're like texting boston friends and you're like all right good luck yeah i love you but let's just not talk for a while But if the Pats win, you don't want them to be like, "Yahoo!" you shut the fuck up it's just what people don't realize is the internet stopped you from seeing people face to face so you have different energy about everybody because it is when everyone talks shit dude i get frustrated i have i go through moments where i'm mad at friends and then i talk to them and realize i was completely wrong oh yeah the internet never gives you that because you don't talk to the person well how much do we do that in comedy where you're like you're like ah that person's probably a hack and they're probably mean and you mean i'm like man it's nice to me he's a pretty good guy that was by the way that's how all this shit happened they go i know i heard crazy shit but dude i went to his house he's got a water slide come down that shit like it's like everyone's mad at all the comics who had trump on and it's like well their problem was saying yes to having him on because then he's going to be in the room they expected him to be like frost nixon and be like why did you do all that stuff and it's like i don't think silly boy have that capability and comics are such people pleasers that like i've always said if i got off stage and cosby was like good set i'd be like were we wrong about this yeah you know because i'm so want to be liked it's like a problem most of us have but i'm not excusing it yes i'm just telling you why it happens yes yeah yeah because it is like um you know it's it's funny when uh i think boxing ruined that a lot because i used to love watching the weigh-ins and i'd be like these guys really want to fight and then after the fight they're like no we're just selling the fight yeah they tell you they're lying yeah yeah we don't really hate each other we're just lying just so you'd watch it and you go well i did watch it and now i'm finding out i was lied to yeah it's only so many times you can do that before you go like i don't think you guys hate each other and then when it's real you go they're lying yeah it just gets all everything diluted well that's why comedians and politicians in the same room it's it's a disaster because comedians often are people pleasers and politicians are like salesmen yeah so like they're not public servants yeah they are straight up there to get rich yeah they are like it's funny when you watch other politicians it's like the same thing with comedians where like um when someone just like gets in trouble and a comic is worried about their money they'll stand up for that person that they normally would go all right they go like well hold on a second yeah we can't get away from the fair that's what politicians do when you go you guys shouldn't be trading on the stock market they go well some of us some of us have given up good jobs it's a guy you go fuck you you fucking pieces of shit well hold on now they're good people but it is it's true it's like i fuck it i've never had the balls to some i know people that have that and i respect the hell out of it yeah sean patton has that i've seen him say something and someone walked into the room and he says the same thing to their face and i was like whoa it's crazy it hits like a stiff shot you're like huh oh fuck dude you said it right to his face it's very impressive part it's very hard it's very hard when someone walks up and smiles yeah a hundred percent have you ever talked shit about someone and then you're at like a comedy festival or a comedy show and they go hey you go hey that's that chappelle joke where he goes hey how you doing he's like good he's like i don't even fucking talk like that but that is the truth it's just like you do something and you go fuck it i'm a phony yeah but i think we start by admitting we're phonies yes by going like dude i don't know i'm full of shit well that's the thing i think we're missing a lot in comedy is comedians trying to be cool comedians trying to be smart there's so many comedians talking to like the secretary of defense and i'm like you should be ranking fast food burgers on this podcast like you don't have the capacity to do this you should be telling me if ruby tuesdays is a better apple because those are the things you know yeah i want to know what's the easiest way to get an uber at lax i don't want to know you know hey if you're at the funny bone you're not going to get an uber at lax you're not going to get an uber at lax you're not going to get an uber at lax there's a good store in the mall yeah you can buy yeah i think it's like um everybody the internet just everything became a kfc bowl oh yeah everything got mushed together that's true where you're like no it's supposed to be the side of mashed potatoes that's not the base of the meal yeah you can't put chicken on is like like a crouton the chicken is the chicken and yeah everything just everything's a garbage plate now everything's yeah you motherfuckers that's rochester we don't take that is that where is that is that the line between buffalo and rochester is garbage place as you go don't bring that that's like your dick is out rochester's like i'm fucking nuts by the way if you get crazy high a garbage plate is art yeah what is it explain it's just like um it's it's basically a kfc bowl it's just a but it's normally macaroni like cold macaroni but people just throw whatever and it's like a hamburger patty hamburger patty and it's chili yeah but then there's a white what is the white is that ranch i don't know look up what a garbage plate is it's just so we know the exact details i love it i love it it's something you would make when your parents are away when you're like eight or your wife is away yeah or your grown man and your wife is it is absolutely detective single dad food yes a whole serenade a wife beater and you just hear the guitar riff of lethal weapon you're just like oh fuck all right here's the ingredients of a garbage plate it is a base of macaroni salad and home fries or french fries topped with two proteins usually cheeseburgers or hot dogs and covered in a spicy meat-based hot sauce raw onions and mustard now eat the that now and then get all the pussy yeah that's the opposite of the mediterranean diet yeah whatever people are wearing in linen pants to fuck shirtless dudes in linen pants that could show their wean bulge are not eating that yeah but boys in thick jeans and sturdy sturdy hoodies that's the giving up meal i love it you get me dude you get me like a big ginger ale and a fucking i mean i'm talking about a big old doink i'm smoking big old doinks if i'm eating a garbage plate it's crazy that you are from the place with the best high food and you don't get high yeah that's true buffalo wings are the best yeah i mean i do eat all that garbage food because you grew up there yeah yeah being a pothead and finding that place it's like finding narnia you know like whoa you guys put ranch on everything yeah it's fucking awesome we'll have to we'll have to go we'll do do some wings oh yeah february 28th yeah i don't know when this is coming out but if february 28th sean's gonna be with me in buffalo one night it's me you and pete ravello oh hell yeah it's a fun show yeah it's gonna be a great show it's gonna be a very good show we could we go to two wing places we could do one before this show and after we might have to drive all the way to rochester to get this fucking divorced dad plate i'm about it i love buffalo i love buffalo because it is a city for comedy it's cold and there's nothing else to do yes i think those are the best markets every time yeah madison cold there's a little bit of sadness but it's there's a little bit of like used to be something used to be a bigger city chicago's great city for that reason yeah where they go like we get kicked around enough what do you got that's why miami's a bad comedy city and i know miami i know that clip of the podcast went viral after you should have got miami norman came to record the podcast i found out mcdaniel got fired an hour before he was here okay i was a little angry yeah see the sports you got to get it out sometime dude i'll is on your own podcast with your producer who doesn't really care about sports so he goes i don't know so i was pretty fired up about this and then i got guys with like podcasts with helmets behind them going who the fuck is this guy you're like don't worry about it you don't got to worry about me i don't got to worry about you you don't got to worry about me i was friend the one thing i was very pleased about when i because when you see something get picked up from your podcast on something else you go fuck yeah and it was like contain it goes somewhere else okay yeah an awful announcing put it on and i like awful announcing so i was like oh shit but then i saw but then a lot of the comments were like yo he's a good friend and i appreciate that because i love my friend and i was very very mad that he got fucked over truth is miami's a great city to go hang out in and the people they were awesome the fans were super excited about mcdaniel and i've seen a ton of people really regret that he got fired there's also people that wanted it and i don't i don't blame them they didn't make the playoffs last two years but in that moment being so fired up yeah and then having it go out on a podcast and other people be like like bark back at you or you go i'm not mad at you at all yeah i'm actually not even the only person i'm mad at is stephen ross their owner of the dolphins and now he gets to go you know with uh justin herbert he gets to do free madison bear concerts is it beer or bear what beer that's how old i am yeah i i just went through the grammy new artist list i didn't know one it's like seeing new faces at montreal or you go that guy got away late but uh but yeah and then he gets to get out of the division with josh allen which i told you was going to be his undoing when he was hired i was like you can't go against that he really did here's the thing about sean we'll talk about how angry he hates boston about how he's not a lovable loser these guys get good he's talking shit anyone that knows sean sean knows ball he'll fucking he'll text you talking shit he'll detect you it's it's fun the one thing i like about sports and i know people get upset when we get bogged down talking about sports and on this podcast. But it is a thing that I love. And it is a thing that you relate to other people with. So it's like I love the different shit-talking styles of you and Shane and, like, my friends that love, like, Nate Bargetzi, like people that love football or, like, sports. And you, like, talk to them about it. Because everybody has this, like, dude, I am such a psychotic fan that Big Jay was mad at me when we played the Eagles because I didn't talk shit. He was like, uh-oh, looks like we're getting into this again. And I go, what's the point? We got fifth, sixth, and seventh-string linebackers against you, even when Tommy Pope was over here. And I was like, Tommy's a great guy to talk shit with. He loves football. And it was like, we're just so injured. So then when we won, I didn't gloat. I truly kept the same energy where I was like, dude, I don't know. And then when Seattle beat the fuck out of us, I was like, see? See? I did that thing where I was like, see? I fucking told you. Well, you were saying when you went to that Bills playoff game, there's a sadness in Bills fans. Yo, you guys are haunted. Yeah. It's not sadness. Motherfuckers are haunted. I don't know if Landmark was built on an old Indian burial ground where they're going to knock down Landmark and be like, oh, never mind. Oh, what are all these bones? I'll talk a little shit, but there's a hint there, more than a hint. I just know they'll never win. I'll know they'll never win. That's in the back of my brain that it's impossible they'll ever win the Super Bowl. To give you some positivity, that is exactly how I felt being a Nuggets fan, especially after Melo left. Because he was like our Josh Allen, where he immediately improved the franchise. We were doing good with George Carl. We were doing great. We get to the NFC, Western Conference Finals, against the Lakers. The Lakers. And of course they win. And then it just goes to shit. But then, during a Taco Bell commercial, we draft one of the greatest big men of all time. During a Quesarito commercial, we draft Nikoli Jokic, and he's the greatest big man of all time. Arguably one of the, I mean, obviously, Wilt Chamberlain and Shaq and shit, but greatest white big man of all time. But I'm saying, and then we win a championship, and I'll tell you, it doesn't even feel real when you win it. We beat the Lakers in four games that year. The year we beat the Heat in the finals. We swept the Lakers on the day that Melo retired. And I was like, great, because he fucked us over. And it was like, great. But then you win, and when you're a fan of a franchise like that, you go, Yeah, who am I now? The parade happens, and you go, wait, and then by the time it's finally settling in that you're NBA world champions, the next season's starting. You go to the parade? No, I was in Denver. I wanted to. I couldn't make it. I had to do something, but it was like 40,000 people went out. No one in Denver, if you're a Nuggets fan, you can act like you'd be like, every year we're going to win. You're a Nuggets fan. You know what it's like. You get to a place, and then Phoenix sweeps you. The Spurs had us for like seven years. Tim Duncan was bouncing us every year, and the Bills have that. Yeah. So when you get there and win, you're still not going to feel it. It's the opposite of the movie when the guy gets shot, and he goes, is it cold in here? And then he looks down. That's going to be you. You're going to be like, what am I holding that's big and so, oh my God, it's a Lombardi trophy. And I honestly, when Cleveland signed Deshaun Watson and fucking trashed Baker Mayfield, I was out on Cleveland. I was like, fuck you guys. Because of how they treated Baker Mayfield, I was like, I don't want that team to win, but you guys are a team. I stay loyal to the fans, baby. That I want Lions. Yeah. I want to see the Lions win one. Yeah, of course. There are teams I want to see win. I don't ever want to see Seattle win another one. They've won one. Yeah, one, one. One, maybe two. Fuck two. I hope it's not two. I hope it stays one after this podcast. And I hope it's Seattle. Fuck you. You piece of shit. You piece of shit. Yeah, it is. I think that's what it's like with society having all this fucked up shit. It's kind of like you drop down to sports to have feelings that maybe should have been reserved. Yeah, 100%. And also, I mean, I've heard people talk about it, but more people need to talk about the fact that we've sportified politics. Yes. It's like, it's not sports. Yes. You guys are, it's like almost ridiculous to put that spin on politics. Yeah. Our side is right and your side is wrong. You go, well, then that just opens them up to both be friends and go, he's fucking it. It's, it's boxing. It's the thing I said in boxing where at the end of the fight, they go, I don't even hate them. They're having steak dinners in Washington, D.C. Republicans and Democrats. And how do you have a conversation with someone who's so easy to change their positions? People's positions used to be a little more locked in and now it's like. Well, that's when they would get outraged. But now it's like, oh, you hated Kaepernick, but you're okay with the UFC on the front lawn. You know what I'm saying? It's like, people used to at least have some type of semblance throughout. I completely agree. There's no one holding like, that's like people in, again, if you don't like sports, I'm sorry. I really am sorry. I hope I talk next week about our craters. I'm playing that a lot. But I think with sports, it's always pissed me off because I liked the 49ers and the Giants because of my dad. I wasn't born in San Francisco. I wasn't raised there, but I would go visit him in the summers and the winters. And I loved the 49ers and the Giants, but I lived in Denver and I fought that my whole life of people going, will you live here now? So you need to like the Broncos and then the Broncos and then the Rockies came along and they were in the Giants division. I'm like, fuck that. Go Giants. I've been a Giants fan since I was born. And so I've fought that so hard that when I was growing up and I saw people be Bulls fans and Yankees fans and Cowboys fans at the same time, I was always like, fuck you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck you. They wanted the glory without any of the work. Oh, you wanted all the good shit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, boy. I want a woman. That's like when you hear young girls now go, he needs to be six foot four and they turn 50,000. He needs to be open and honest and listening. It's like, shut up, bitch. That's how I feel about these people that want sports like that. It's like, no. Well, you even see that when the sports documentaries where I'm kind of like, hey, we're good with the 80s Celtics. At this point, I've known every time Larry Bird took a shit in the 80s. We've heard everything about, they're all about Boston and LA. Give me a 10 part about the fucking Brewers. Do something different. Well, that was the one thing I liked about 30 for 30 was they were doing documentaries about shit that wasn't, like the June 14th, 1997. You go, I didn't know all that shit happened on that day. The way they edit it, the way they do it, the style, the way it's directed. And then now it's just like, it's just print and repeat. Did you watch the 49ers one? I watched the first two episodes. I really liked it. It's gonna get me. I'm a 49ers fan. Honestly, you want my honest opinion as a 49ers fan? We did this already with the Montana doc. The five-parter on Peacock that NFL Films was producing. It was great, but I got it all. It's the same story. There is more stuff about Ronnie Lott and Jerry Rice and like guys that I really want to hear about, but it's like, it's scratching the same itch. So that's all you're doing. And it's like, I think Jordan did the last dance and everyone was like, I want my last dance. And then now they're like trying to cram it. The Elway one. I watched the Elway one and it's just like, they're giving these people too much access, too much control. They're like, not even documentaries anymore. They're PR puff pieces. It's like when you watch Straight Outta Compton and you go, so Dr. Dre wrote this. Dr. Dre wrote this movie. You watch Straight Outta Compton and he's like, I got an idea for something. And you're like, what about all those women you were beating the shit out of? Are we not talking about all the women you beat the shit out of? Because if you wrote that movie and you put that in, I'd go, this could be, this is a real piece of art. This guy's talking about all of his problems. Johnny Cash's documentary, they made it, it was about his heroin addiction. It was about him being a bad guy and being a bad husband. It's like, I don't want, the Elway doc was, he was like, I didn't win a Super Bowl. But I was still really good. But then, I won a Super Bowl. And now everything's okay. Motherfuckers straight up cut Wade Phillips out of the documentary. It did not go Dan Reeves, Mike Shanahan. I lived in Denver. It went Dan Reeves, Wade Phillips for three seasons eating shit. Yeah. Mike Shanahan. Yeah. In the documentary, they go, Dan Reeves left. But then Mike Shanahan came in. And I was like, what? Also, divorce with his wife? Look into that. That was like, I love Pete Davidson. I think he's the best. It just did his part. You know, when I see him, we like, have a great time. Judd Apatow did his movie and made his dad die not in 9-11. What the fuck are you doing? Hey, Dad. Hey, Dan, we're going to do a movie about your dad dying, but he's, he's sober. The fuck is that? That's not, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, if they do a Bills documentary and they do the, they did the worst one to you guys. The what if? Yeah. Go watch that. It's the, I'm not even a Bills fan. I'm just friends with Bills fans. That made me mad. This is at the end of Four Falls you were talking about. The 30 for 30. Yeah. Where they go, what if, but what if they, what if they did win? What would Buffalo look like? And it, it shows that like futuristic city. Your guys' stupid accents gone. People got mad. You want to talk about a clip leaving the containment area? McDaniel's first season when, you know, I went up there. I went to the Dolphins at Bills and I told a story about this woman. I told you that story about the woman in the parking lot going like, Skylar Thompson was starting and she's like, are you guys going to leave if we're up 35 to nothing? and at halftime, and I was like, Like, are you going to kill yourself if Skylar Thompson beats you in the playoffs? And she went, you know, just be part of being a Bills fan. But I told that story with doing a horrible, a horrible version of the Buffalo accent. Okay, throwing like a plaza. Yeah, I did like the Midwestern. Like, oh, God. Bills fans have so much venom in them that they were like, that's not how the fuck we talk. Fuck this motherfucker. And it went like Bills Mafia Instagrams were posting it and be like, they fuck it. And it was like, you guys are missing the point. The point I was saying is, even in your shit talking, you admit you're losers. Yeah, it's so funny. Yeah, exactly. It's so funny to be like, okay, we are losers, but we don't talk like that. They go, fuck yes, we do nothing but lose. I don't say my A's like that. And you go, you don't. If you ever made a documentary about your life, I want the bad shit in there. And I just want to know all this shit. Like, I remember there was that one point. In the doc, he was talking about how much he loves. Was it John Wayne? Oh, yeah. And it's like, and you want to be like, well, why else do you love John? Like, is there any other reason? Is it because John Wayne shoots bad hombres? Yeah. Huh, John? Yeah, I mean, it's like, I think there's so much cooler stories that guys don't want to tell because they're so aware in the age of clips and stuff that they're like, this is going to make me look like a dickhead. Yeah. I mean. I mean. I understand the, like, I understand the, like, oh, I need to edit this. Yeah. But at the same time, you're like, but if I'm a fan of yours, I know it. Yes. And I don't want to watch just your PR. That's 90 minutes of PR for you. And I think people right now are really good at PR. Sorry, the sun's hitting your face in a way where you're getting like a ray of sun. It's winter. It's filming in winter around this time. I don't know. Moving. Did you resent New York City growing up in Buffalo? No, but there are definitely a contingent of people there that do because they're like, that's all tax dollars going there. And like, people are like, yeah, if you didn't have New York City, we'd be like West Virginia. Like, there'd be nothing. The rest of the state is like three cities. Yeah. That's always something that makes me laugh is when people try to shit on big cities. Yeah. They go, what is your big city? And you go, the thing that generates money. A hundred percent. Yeah. It's a big fucking deal. I understand not liking it. I understand not wanting to live in it, but like talking shit or like, and what do you do? And you're like, trillions of dollars, New York City makes trillions of dollars. When we've been on the road and I've heard people being like, well, you live in that the liberal New York City. And you're like, you wouldn't have, do you think Panda Express's home office is in fucking Omaha? You know what I mean? Do you think the people that make the decisions? Also, it's like. I mean, it's always been three companies making the decision. Yes. There has to be a big city somewhere. It can all be. What would be the point of just like, like, would you want a million Omaha, Nebraska's out there? Well, that's what I think people that are good at politics sell that to people. Oh, a hundred percent. They go, this is just our little village, little village that doesn't care. And you go, well, you need infrastructure and you need an economic center. So there's a lot of stuff. That's what was happening with the ice raids. When at first they were going like, get them all out. Cause listen, I'm all for you're an illegal immigrant and you commit a crime here. Boot that motherfucker. Jazzy Jeff, that motherfucker over to back to the country that they came from. If they're here breaking the law. Cause that's a very, that's the part where you go, Hey, left side, just say that. Just go like, yeah, dude, you break a law. We're going to have to kick you the fuck out. That's a normal thing to say. But then when they turned and they were like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. What are you doing? And farmers, Whoa. Like all the farmers were like, Hey, Hey, my guys aren't coming to work. Or like guys building buildings and construction. They're like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. We can't get drywall done. I saw a really funny sketch of, um, like an Instagram. It was a Mexican, like a construction worker. It's very funny. It's probably knowing how shit's going now. It's AI, but I thought it was funny, but the sketch was, he was like in his knee pads and his work stuff. You know, these guys like bright yellow shirt on, and then he's looking at a backyard and he's going like that with his camera and he's going like that. And another Mexican comes up and he goes, what are you doing? And he goes like that, trying to like how social media people go, this is what I did in my basement. And then he's like, and then it cuts back to him doing the grout, like doing all the work. And you're like such a funny idea for a sketch. Cause that like people that like influencers are so edited that I think people believe it's like, um, I brought this up on another episode, but we've taken from porn and put it everywhere. This idea that stuff is supposed to happen. Like, um, in porn they go, Oh, the plumber is over and he's hot and he has a 13 inch dick and he's going to fuck this housewife with double D's that can take anal without grimacing. And it's like, we're just supposed. And then, but like our generation was raised of like, yeah, that's sex. Yeah. Yeah. I delivered pizzas. A woman. A woman. I answered the door one time in a towel and I was like, I don't know if I can get it up. Like I was like 16. I felt that I felt the weight of pressure. I was like, I don't know, dude, but I remember that like feeling like, Oh, it's happening. And she didn't, she went like, hold on real quick. I got to write a check and shut the door and wrote a check for a pizza. And then David didn't mean, I was like, I'm gonna jerk off for this. I'm just letting you know, I'm gonna jerk off to my car to this. That's crazy that we're so old that people paid in checks for pizza. Yeah, dude. I remember when credit cards were a hassle. Me too. I remember I worked at a fast food. Fast food place and they didn't have credit cards. Did they did the shim shim? Have you ever had to do that? I never had to do it. We did no credit card. We did all cash. All cash. Yeah. Great place to rip off. Great place. A hundred percent. I was young enough in high school that credit cards were a problem. Yeah. So people weren't calling in with credit cards. They were calling with cash checks and I'd be like, Hey, our, uh, we're, we're only accepting cash right now. This is very illegal, but I worked for a place and they were in a chain. I think they got bought out by a chain. We can find it on another podcast, but I used to take, I used to take the calls, write down the order, make the pizza myself, deliver it with other deliveries and keep all the cash on that one. And it'd be like two large pizzas. It would be like, you know, 20 bucks plus the two liter and they'd give me like 30 bucks and I'd just pocket it. And then I'd buy an eighth of weed after my shift. It was great. That sounds great. It was great. It was honestly for a 16 year old in high school, it was a great fucking hustle because I was making all these pizzas. And I was like on weeknights, like working by myself or with one other person and they didn't care. I'd be like, and I'd be like, I'm going to make an extra pizza. And they're like, great. And a lot of times we just make pizza for ourselves. She makes it around. You'd be like, you want to do like pepperoni and sausage and you go, yeah. And you sit there and eat smoke, fucking, uh, swag weed on the back patio. And then they'd be like, Oh, we got two orders. So if there were like orders coming in and I had two orders and the third one, I'd go like, I'll make it and just keep the money. Decent pizza. Yeah. Really good. New York style, big slices. It was for Colorado. It was really good. Yeah. Which, which your go-to pizza order. I like, uh, I'm Hawaiian, which I know people hate. Not my go-to, but it's one of my favorites. I like, I like pineapple and ham. I know. I know. You're like bumping into someone that likes olives on their pizza. I could do olives on my pizza. Fuck both of you. Fuck. Fuck all of you. So that might go to, but I could do. My go-to is probably pepperoni. Basic. Yeah. Basic bitch shit. But if they have a good meatball. I love a meatball pizza and a good sausage, depending on how they do the sausage. If it's thin and it's the, like the strips of sausage, it's the best chunks of sausage I can do. Yeah. The little cup. I don't like the cupped pepperoni. You don't like the cup. No, I don't want any. You don't want charred with the grease. That's a Buffalo style. I don't want eight bowls of grease. Ah, see, that's where me and you differ. Give me the grease. I'll put pineapple. What is it about the pineapple? You just like, I think it's a nice change of pace. It's like. Uh, I don't know. I just, uh, it does it for me. It's a, it's not my every time, but it like a couple of times a year. When did you start experimenting with pineapple? Cause I just, when I was in college, I didn't like experimenting. I had a roommate. He was into some stuff, but I do imagine living in Buffalo. You bringing that up as like coming out of the closet. That's where you go, dad. I want pineapple on my pizza. He's like, no, son of mine. It's going to eat that gay shit. I'm going to dip it into ranch. Not in this household. I feel like you guys came up with that though. Where were blue cheese? You guys are blue cheese. So who's ranch? I don't know. We, I was always Wisconsin. Yeah. I think it's more Midwest. I was always conditioned with ranches. A little like white trashy, which is crazy because you guys have molded cheese. Yeah, but it makes it way better. It is great with wings. Yeah. But you're getting like that when you get it. Where's hidden Valley? That'll tell you that's El Dorado for ranch. The street posts are made of ranch. I want to know where hidden Valley where like the true where the ranch comes from. Yeah, I can't do ranch anymore. Why? It grosses me out. It just feels like bad blue cheese. See blue cheese. I've never gotten sick off of. I mean, a bad ranch. Oh, bad blue cheese. I think I've caught bad blue cheese before. Yeah, I guess that's true. You can. You can do that. Molded cheese. So what makes it bad? If it's already molded cheese, you can't do that. If it's already molded, wouldn't you think if it's already molded cheese, you're fucking fine. So what makes blue cheese go bad? It's already. rotted cheese you guys are fucking complicated also who put that together some frenchman in buffalo that's a good question i don't know because i do like blue cheese but it is straight up just molded cheese yeah do you just do it wing i could i could dip pizza in blue cheese i've done that before that feels crazy that feels like playing basketball in a suit you go i just get dirty my hands get dirty from the ball i don't know hidden valley ranch started in santa barbara yeah that does remind me of some california that's pie in the sky dreaming shit the california way but they go i'm gonna go out to california i'm gonna find a valley that's hidden and you ever had blue cheese well what if i took that bad cheese out and is it papa john's that does like the butter or garlic sauce garlic sauce i'll fight my mom for pizza with garlic sauce really the first time i tried papa john's oh dude i would order extra pizza with garlic sauce i would order extra pizza with garlic sauce i would order i love garlic oh that shit rules have you ever had it i have it papa john's pizza is passable it's okay i think that's the problem is you're getting it with passable pizza so it's just buttery garlic oh it's fucking great papa john's man you know i know he was slinging the n-word but then shack but then shack bought up all those properties it's craziest that the biggest black guy bought all the fucking pizza stores in every commercial these days i know it's crazy yeah but shack was like did he say the n-word he goes i'm gonna buy it the guy that you would never say it to his face but all the he's like papa john you want your pizza back say it to me well i i can't have you ever seen papa john when he was all red and drinking i don't think so he's a wild boy he's a documentary that i want to see yeah let's see the papa john doc yeah i'm surprised never heard of him he's a wild boy he's a documentary that i want to see all the bad stuff hasn't done a seven-part series narrated by sam elliott when you're the same color as his shirt he looks like he shaves his chest you know what i mean he's the guy that looks like he prefers to fuck on a waterbed papa john is nuts because he's like when he's young he's handsome but then he has that like cross you cross the rubicon with surgery to where you go oh you're trying to look young right it's not that some guy and then you see him now and you're like it's a little bit honestly trump not that bad as a younger man like you know has a had a handsomeness to him who trump yeah and that kind of did that too too much it's almost your thing about a little too much work all 99 you can't do it you can't do it too much you pass the rubicon it becomes a moment where you go bradley cooper did that at some point and there was one moment where he got facial surgery where he went oh what did you do it's like this isn't i don't know you and now every time i watch your movie i mentally have to do the thing from hook where i go there you are bradley but it it fucks me up when celebrities do that that's the thing that i'm talking about we're talking about documentaries and stuff celebrities get shit done and then they lie about getting it done i'd love a doc about all the work done all the celebrities tell me who got what done oh yeah you like put it out like a laundry list yeah they did this this and this i want to see ai take people that got all that stuff and go what would they look like if like oh if they didn't do that just age naturally yeah i'm not uh you do ai much i've never used chat gpt my goal is to never is to just die never using it as a as a boy raised on the terminator franchise yeah skynet will never talk to me you know what is funny though it's exactly what we were talking about with sports and comedy and shit where like i talk shit about ai them i need it for something and i'm like uh yeah it's actually not that bad it's pretty cool because our stuff dude i got got i got have you gotten got by ai like truly got i think i think so i said even just questioning it how sad is that you see anything and you just question it now i saw something and i it was it was crazy i said and i showed it to katie and she went is that ai and i go but look look at the grill she goes that is a good point and then i sent it to shane and shane was like that's ai and i was like fuck and it was uh looked like an insta story and it says i told her that i was going to do it and she was like i'm not going to do it and i told my tito the railing was loose and it's a guy falling on i'll show it to you and it's a guy falling onto a working grill like oh my god and i went oh my god and it looks dude i'm gonna show you because i sent it to shane and he was like that yeah that's that's ai that's ai that's put this up do you think this is ai because it's in slow-mo he dropped the railing and he's like oh him falling into that dude is so funny and then i look at the last message uh and it's like that's fake and you're like man it's gonna get brutal out there we're fucked yeah uh people like we love to brag our generation loves to brag people that were born in the 80s because we go can't outsmart us we were we were offline first we're fucked we're fucked these gen z kids are barely going to be able to hang on we're fucked i i will say though maybe good for stand-up because i think people will get out of the house to experience something real depends how good they make ai because like i truly am and i mean this i'm glad my dad and sister died without recordings of them around oh yeah yeah yeah because i would be i don't i couldn't see ai pictures of my dead dad like i wouldn't like that yeah you know when they do that for like uh they'll do that as like feel good content where they're like i used ai to show my grandpa his whole life at 90 and it's like his dead wife and him kissing and he's like crying and they go look he's crying go yeah because you're making him feel horrible yeah you're making him watch him kiss his wife he lived that memory that's there yeah he's watching ai and he goes well why is the picture doing that yeah yeah they like show the picture come to life and they like have you seen the one where the guy shows prisoners in life ai of them doing gay shit to each other dude it's i'll show you i said sagalow and i were talking about it yesterday because i was like dude watch did you end up in prison is what i'm asking i got a license for two bodies so it shows him ai man what the fuck it says i'm kissing another dude man what the fuck who the fuck this is man what the fuck going on man who the fuck this is man man you did that man huh i found the video on the internet that's why i was just trying to show you fine you them gang men will come see your motherfucker dude he shows him he goes i'm gonna kill your whole family he's in prison for life and he goes yo that shit he goes i'm gonna kill everybody in your family and i sent it to i sent it to sagalow and i was like dude i would be i just sent it to you right here pimp i uh damn and he's like that man i'm gonna kill everybody in your family at the top of the clip is going i killed two people and he goes cool here's a video of you making out with a white dude and he goes oh oh that moment over he goes hey hey that's gonna happen to all of us they're gonna go well you remember when you even grok is getting in trouble for doing they're like making porn of like of of minors because people can do it so easy yeah it's terrifying it's it is really funny that like uh it's not it's all the time it's all the time also disgusting but like pedophiles are always the like the dog in space that they go like what does it say i can i make it fucking no no seinfeld used to have that bit where he's like we always take technology we go sex he's like copy machine put your tits on it or is that that's a seinfeld bit right or is that norman i don't know that's a good question i genuinely don't know but it is like it is seinfeld because he did it on comedian okay he did it on his letterman when he comes back on letterman and he's like picture take a picture of my butt it's like we do everything with sex but the truth is it's like pedophiles go first they're like the way gays go into black neighborhoods to gentrify them that's what pedophiles are with technology they go can i fucking with it and they go no okay okay it's all right everyone else rich whites you can move in you can use it to manipulate that's like everyone will or could have them like a porn them and porn them doing like all the shit because it's so easy to do the only way you notice is if your eye like droops down a little and you go that's terrifying i never had sex with betty white it's just me clapping it's me having a reverse gangbang with the golden girls i'm kissing b arthur while sophie's sucking me and then blanche doing finger work on yeah one on watch this young man take on the golden girls and you got i never fucked him i only love their show for their crisp writing for their crisp writing and their callbacks son of a bitch it is like that's like the new you know you'd like draw like someone and go like hey fuck him even cave drawings like this pussy is looking at the sky that's gonna be like ai videos and you're like damn dude did you know that benjamin franklin thomas jefferson and george washington lemon partied he shows all of them sucking each other's dicks oh you know what i mean Oh my God, Hitler and Stalin are docking. fucking just them putting their foreskins over each other's dicks they probably all exist right now i mean i just gave you a lot of ideas phenomenal prompts i just gave about four or five phenomenal prompts that i never want to see that i never want to see but yeah because i mean i feel like that's like um like people that make that stuff it is funny i do laugh at it but you really go like well you're just like uh turning that's what family guy does that's what the simpsons like you turn jokes into stuff right but you're turning it into like immediate slop yes and like the work is what makes it good is like doing the work to get to the end product you just type it into a machine and have it be done who gives a fuck like you know 3d guns work right but what's a 3d gun versus like a smith and weston or like a ruger or like a company that's made guns for hundreds of years that they know all the mechanics of it they know all the parts of it like a real gun versus if i don't know this could be a stupid comparison but i'm just saying like i feel like the real gun would work longer and better than a 3d gun 3d you know like a 3d printer like those guns what are they called invisible guns or some ghost guns like a ghost gun versus a fucking desert eagle 45 like i'm i assume the desert eagle would win well and i assume gun guys are into them because there's like some artistry and craftsmanship behind that jeff asmus has an awesome bit about gun guys are nerds yeah like all the scope and it's all scientific and shit but you're like but they are but they're into it because it's um it's just like being into cars but a different way yes you're into the mechanics of it you're into like how shit's made yeah and i'm sure the mechanics of a ghost gun are interesting of like printing stuff off and working well and like people that are in the movie stand-up we're all nerds for that so if you make just the slop thing that you put no time into who would who gives a fuck about that i don't even understand who any of that's for you know i don't even understand who any of that's for you know i don't we were doing we were going down this whole road about when i talk about stand-up too much we're i bought a taser it was too strong it would have given me a heart attack it was a cattle prod i bought a cattle prod but it was a hog it's for hogs what did you buy it for for the for the pod yeah that anytime i was talking too much about stand-up he was going to lean over and give me a little and then someone said um menstrual reenactment anytime i do that i get a little time i do that i get my period another good idea that we could put into practice again these are not all off the table that's pretty good what about a bb gun that but the airsoft airsoft i have many a time that was my whole college is i would i would fucking larry at homeless pimp if he shot me and it broke my tv or my playstation if it ricocheted they don't ricochet the airsoft ones their soft ones can hurt they can't hurt they can't hurt no i want something that's like i just want that but i i brought that up and a bunch of people have been like dude i love when you guys talk comedy and i love about that and you go because there are people that love comedy the way we love sports yeah and they want to hear people that do it get into it i've realized that's the problem with comedy there's a lot of people that are doing comedy right now that aren't fans of comedy a hundred percent that they're fans of money and they're fans of selling tickets yes they're not fans of the the dork shit yeah well we talk all the time about like when i even first moved to new york city 10 years ago everyone would be talking about who's killing who's bombing who has a good new bet can you help me with this bet with some tags and like no one talks about that now it's all followers now it's all like when do i post who has followers you see what this person commented on this person's shit and i get that that's important but it like yeah there's there's not as much comedy nerd talk even amongst comedians which is a bummer well the people that are good at salesmanship and doing that shit moved it away from the stuff that's hard to do which is write jokes that's the hardest part of this job it's just like you know i thought of that when we're talking about building a gun versus printing one out it's like there's a lot of 3d printer comics right now yeah yeah there's just a lot of people that are like going up and being like what'd you say sir what's that this guy said this this guy went i don't know yeah that's half your clip okay i get it you don't want to material yeah just probably write more material yeah and then just post when it's ready because there is like this you got to fill the void and you're like but we're filling the void with poop yeah we're not filling the void with stuff where you got like i my favorite part of stand-up and it's not a it's not a pleasant experience is watching someone with two bits in a set that i get fucking jealous of yeah yeah yeah kurt metzger used to make me feel that way every time i watched him yeah i'd walk away and i go fuck yeah louie uh there's a lot of people that i watch like that and just someone has a new bed and you go oh my god that's so good why didn't i think of that yeah yeah that's that's yeah that's the best part and because it's the most uncomfortable part yeah because you go fuck i gotta go right i gotta go right but then you write a good joke and you feel good for a little bit and then it passes and you gotta do it again but then people are like oh that's too hard how do i just get good at hosting myself how do i chat gpt comedy there's gonna be a fucking nuremberg trial for those people uh i've heard like a friend was like i was driving with this comic and he was like oh yeah i put all my stuff through like chat gpt just to make it a little better and it's like it goes back to what we're saying it's like then why are you doing this just do and do something else at that point you're good at other stuff yeah if you're good at other stuff just go do that just go do what you're good at go do what you're good at what you like doing if you don't want to do this i'm not fucking you don't have to yeah but the problem is isn't the devil in the hole i'm not fucking with you i'm not fucking with you i'm not in the room is the agents that when you have a lot of people they go you're leaving a lot of money on the table katie got approached by a huge comedy uh agent huge comedy if i said his name you'd know it and this is when katie was getting famous on garbage time before she moved to espn and he was like you should do stand-up she was like no i love stand-up she's like no way i can't do it i don't have the time to go do it every night he goes you don't have to do that every night you'll sell tickets yeah and it was like oh they're they're pretty open about it yeah they go no i'll just make you a lot of money and then there's just i mean i can name six people off the top of my head right now which again if you see me live see sean and i february 28th i'll give you i'll give you the list that's always my rule i'm not going to keep secrets from these people but i'm not going to put it out there where it can be clipped and misused yeah you ask me we run into each other that'd be funny that your merch is just a list of the soda list i remember that come here and they go that and i go that's who that's was they go huh next person hey nice to meet you what's your question they go oh fuck go to service meet it's it's half shit talking because like i don't do meet and greets because i think it's weird uh maddie healy from the from 1979 is five thank you i'm old 1975 i saw an interview with him and he was like yeah meet and greets are weird to me why would you meet? a fan and have him he's like next time you do a meet and greet make them pay you when you meet them because they're paying to do it so the next time you do a meet and greet have them hand you a hundred dollars and feel how fucking weird that feels yeah yeah that's why i don't do meet and greets it's like if we bump into each other backstage behind the theater going into the theater at the fucking coffee shop the next day fuck yeah say what's up take a picture i would love that i would absolutely love that i understand that if i'm outside smoking a joint you're walking back through the alley to go home grab a fucking picture yeah ask me the name that i wouldn't say on the podcast but i'm not going to stand in a line and take your money just to go like hey how are you yes yeah i think if like if you were selling merch and you're by the merch table and there was like hey come say hi you don't gotta buy anything buy something if you want if not no big deal like that that makes sense but like you know you're doing theaters you'd be mobbed you'd be there all night well there is just a point of like what am i going to give back yeah is it going to be a phony hollow yeah because there's so many people it's starting to feel like that way after a little bit when there's so many people in your room and you're like oh my god i'm going to be like oh my god i'm going to be like oh my god i'm done with the show that you're like hey hi how are you but also i fucking love these people yeah people that come out to my shows we're hanging out yeah i'm doing an hour of my jokes i hope you like it that's the whole agreement you buy a ticket i'm gonna try my best to make you laugh the hardest and if it doesn't work like when people don't like my stand-up i don't i'm like dude you got a lot of options thanks for trying me i genuinely feel that way of like thanks for even trying me out maybe five or ten years down the road it works but like yeah that's a and that's a good maturing thing thing like because i'm to a point if i'm doing some like c-level club and you you're on stage and you could tell the person's like i came up for comedy this is not my person but it's like i feel bad too it's like i want you to like me and you wanted to like me and we just you know it happens sometimes you sometimes you go see a movie you don't like the movie it's it's you know it's not part of the world yeah no one's 100 on anything yeah also uh i remember being so insecure of going like what can you not handle my jokes yeah yeah no they can handle them just fine they just don't like them uh-huh and that's fine and like people get up and leave or whatever people get mad yeah it's always weird to me when someone uh gets mad about a joke because i go i don't i think you think i think you got other stuff going on 100 trying to joke around yeah well that's why i say a lot of times when people they negatively comment on like a video of yours like to you it's kind of like i almost don't take offense at it anymore because i'm like oh you have some shit going on in your life that you have to put this we need to start acknowledging that people have shit going on in their life yeah yeah and that it spills over a lot of the time yeah but like i remember i was at the addison improv which is i a fantastic club and i had this throwaway joke about like um guns and i was just like oh yeah uh you'll never give up your gun like you'll give your guns up to the army because you love the army they're like professional guns it's like you would give your football up to tom brady if you came to your house like give me your football and you're like yeah dude will you sign it can i take a picture with it with you you know like can i have it back if you sign it and it was like this fucking it wasn't even like it wasn't a like dishes yeah it was just like i think it's funny because it is this and this fucking guy was like fuck this give me my check fuck this shit and you're like buddy yeah what's going on i was talking about my dog being fat no less than three minutes later so i wasn't harping on it yeah yeah yeah throwaway joke and if you feel different like and it started with liberals liberals were the first ones actually no i'm gonna be honest it started with right-wing christian conservatives yeah they were the people that went you cannot say that you can't say that that's indecent you can't say that yeah that's why i i kind of lose my mind when people act like the sensitivity thing is like a partisan thing it's like i've been a long i've been alive long enough to i remember fucking shenaid o'connor yeah fucking uh freedom fries i remember dixie chicks like all that shit was by the way i'm old enough to remember that i'm old enough to remember that parental advisory was a democrat a hundred percent i'm old enough to remember that tipper gore didn't want our rappers cussing yeah like it's all fucking who's gonna make money off it yeah and so it's funny is now but then watching like right now the right is like yeah we can't say anything it's like well we couldn't say anything in the 80s because of you and then now it was like hey liberals you're not out of this because i remember in 2013 where you were like that's a microaggression you created microaggression you fucking losers the fuck is wrong with you yeah that's you know who's gonna hurt that person that's made up in your joke and then it's like and then it became this like rallying cry like well we can say well we're on the right and it was just people that didn't know how to write jokes but they were just saying mean shit yes and they go well i'm sorry because the thing you can always do is you can always camouflage mean for funny a hundred percent and that's good and funny has a little meanness it's such an amateur thing like we've all been in love those early days of open mics where the comic like doesn't know how to write a joke so he immediately goes to like abortion and whatever like controversial thing that's going to get like an ooh because an ooh is better than a silence a silence is tough because you go fuck i didn't get a reaction but and then you do the thing that i was talking about you're like they can't take it handle me there's a comic who will remain nameless unless you see me live he uh a friend of mine this is austin pre rogan sphere uh body snatcher when austin was austin so austin was like weird it was like uh you know very liberal very like very liberal and then like also like it was crunchy yeah it was like boulder it like felt like boulder colorado which was like there was like a looming conservative feeling but this like blue island yeah that's what austin was used to be just like blue island in the middle of texas and there was a comic who was very far left and he was doing this joke my buddy who lived in austin saw this happen and he was at a very is it the velveta room very yeah i know they're great room very very liberal and he's doing this joke and he's bombing about abortion he's doing an abortion boat and he's like oh i'm sorry i forgot i'm in fucking texas you guys can't handle this shit and my buddy's like you're in austin yeah this is like where people go to get abortions he's like what the fuck are you talking about but it was like that idea of like i'm sorry am i sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry am i hurting your brain and they're like dog we're on your team yeah what are you talking about just these made-up built-in excuses for jokes not because the joke isn't funny yeah so oh fuck instead of me saying the hardest thing possible which is taking accountability and going fuck you know what else or when someone has a joke that's similar yeah and you go i've always been under the the thing of like well let me see how similar let me see if mine's based on a personal experience if it is i'll probably fight for that joke yeah and if not throw it out there's a lot of throw it away yeah although i have this thing observation what do you think about this i have this thing that like every other art form watches their art and is like inspired by it i feel like comedy is the only one that like that like we're very like like you you watch a documentary about uh any filmmaker and they'll be like oh i stole that shot from godfather is a good shot i i just kind of took that and like and like in comedy it's like you have a joke about a microphone prior did a microphone joke in 77 and you're like who gives a fuck you know that's how it used to be i don't think it's like that anymore i don't think the young kids give a shit about that anymore and i think that's what's important about it is it's okay to be influenced yes yeah so i was influenced by dave chappelle i was influenced by louis i was influenced by bill burr i was influenced by joe de rosa i was influenced by nate bargetzi i was influenced by shane i was influenced by big j by like when i'm around the funniest people that i know and the way i go i like yeah i like that but i'm not stealing anything right it's okay a lot of times people are like norman and i were talking about it and someone had a i saw a conversation online but they were like oh they said they're stealing shane's thing it's like well they're not they're just doing shane that you can be influenced by it but at a certain point you have to go i'm doing this yes yeah and it's okay to be influenced by somebody yeah that's that's a great compliment yeah because you go oh man you did this in such a right way that i feel like that's the way to do it yeah and that's fine but you got to admit that you're not it's accountability like everything we're talking about right now is just people not accepting accountability like yeah i was probably i watched my first paid weekend at laughs in tucson on like a micro dvd i'm doing dave chappelle yeah i'm doing dave yeah i'm going like man and you're like dude that's chappelle yeah but i that was my it's my favorite comedian of all time right so of course it's like if you were a guitar player and you grew up listening to the stones people would go oh you play you you're like trying to do what keith richards does yeah oh yeah i grew up right and mick taylor do this fucking thing that i'm obsessed with and it's like that's cool yeah that's all art yeah and i know there's a thin line between influence and stealing but i think sometimes people go too much in in one direction where it's like we're all gonna have jokes about like a sex or a thing or what you know whatever topic it is it's like pete ravello and i were talking about that pete ravello me and louis all have jokes right now about people in our family over 90 dying and we all have different punch lines yeah we all have different punch lines to it in fact louis i watched and i went all right i'm cutting some of mine yeah he talked about uh living in a home and i had like a lot about it and i cut it just to what i had that was individually mine that i lived through yeah so i was like great i'm gonna keep i'm not because i used to with louis and rock and all them and chappelle i would i would just bail on bits yeah i go he's doing it you know but now i go well no fuck that my grandma did yeah live at this home and i did have this so fuck it but i think it's just that's the difference of like taking accountability for your act and just going like being a victim yeah going like everyone i don't know he fucking stole it he might have stole it it's like i don't think he did yeah a lot of the times very few people are straight up jacking bits yes and if they are we end up finding out who that is we don't need independent investigators to let us know i know i know that before yeah and i've caught and there's polite ways to call people out yeah you don't have to be a dick but you can go you know so and so does that yeah and if they go like and they keep doing it you're like piece of shit you're not a piece of shit you're one of my favorite comics oh thank you go watch sean murphy i was it was a good segue good segue that's gonna be how i'm introed on shows from now on this guy not a piece of shit he's not a piece of shit but uh you just put out a great fucking special pimp did it yeah at the fat black yeah fuck turned out fucking fantastic looks great uh looks great it's funny as fuck thank you it's great man go check out sean's new special in fact the link is right below you right here oh yeah on youtube go give them views and you're on norman's i'm on norman's youtube it's called long story thin and yeah i don't follow me on instagram all that yeah follow sean you're probably gonna see him open for me in some places meet him in the sag daddy nice sag daddy dog i'll make sure to do his formal name his given name and uh i hope the patriots won the super bowl i hope they lose by 50 and i hope no boston sports team ever wins again boston sports boston sports team ever wins again boston sports team ever wins again boston sports team ever wins