No One Told Me to Listen to Myself | Selfwork Podcast Ep 1

Welcome to the self-work podcast. I promise you this title isn't from Chad G.P.T. Something that actually has a good backstory. And this has been a long time coming. It's something that I've been actively procrastinating because I do live a busy life. However, whether you're listening to this by audio or you're watching this video, I do want you to understand that this isn't going to be like the typical podcast. Most podcasts, I'm not talking about entertainment podcasts, until I actual educational podcasts, they kind of just teach you how to, you know, how to be a man, how to navigate this broken society, how to find a career, how to be more charismatic. This podcast isn't about how to. The reason why it's called self-work is, I believe a lot of people have tuned into so much external frequencies, listening to people taking in what people have to say, that you've kind of lost your own voice. So this podcast is going to help you reclaim your own voice by trusting your intuition. Because for the most part of my life, I was somebody that was a black sheep. In case you guys don't know what my life was like. If you look at my family, and if you look at my friends, I was always somebody that used to do things in a complete different way. Right? Most notably dropping out of the university, which I'm going to touch on in a bit. But I always used to do things differently, not because I was fearless, but because I always had this thing within me where I would question everything. Even in my times of ignorance, where I was just a stupid young kid, young teenager doing dumb things going out, you know, messing around, coming home late, parents shouting at you, even throughout those times, I still used to question things and say, why? And you know, parents hate when kids ask why, but now looking back, if you really think about it, I don't understand why parents hate it when a kid says why. That means the kid wants to know the reasoning behind what it is that you're telling them to do, which is a skill that we've all lost. Because when you don't ask why, you become that peace that's just on that conveyor belt, you know, on just going to the destination. And that is what I hate for you guys. And I don't want you guys to end up in that situation because in this world, or especially in this society we live in, everyone has an opinion. Nobody teaches you to listen to yourself. Especially when you're trying to do things that are completely unorthodox that nobody has done before. So for me, when it came to moving countries, dropping out of university, finding a new career, even making videos like this, nothing's accepted. And I realized, you know, nobody teaches you how to trust your own judgment. Instead, they give you their fears and they call it advice. And let me just repeat what I just said. Whenever you go to people for advice nowadays, right? They don't actually ask you questions, so you think about things for yourself. They just give you their fears and then they call it advice. For example, I can go to someone today. Imagine I'm a 20-year-old. I'll go to someone today and I'll ask them, look, I'm looking to drop out of university and do this apprenticeship. Or I'm looking to move countries so I can find this job that I really like. And I'm going to work that job. Instead of people asking you why do you want to do it? What is making you so set? Why are you inclining towards that? What do they do instead? Or why are you going to go live in another country? That's dangerous. How are you going to survive? What happens if you run out of money? And let's actually think about that for a second. And this is what this whole podcast is about, thinking. Even if you run out of money, can you not come back to your hometown? Can you not go back to your parents' home? So the thing that I'm telling you guys and I'm trying to really get across to you guys is we've lost our ability to think. And we've lost our ability to trust ourselves. Because we've been taught to listen to people out our whole entire lives. That when it comes to situations where we should trust ourselves, you doubt yourself. And this isn't a fancy podcast where I'm going to teach you guys tips and tricks. And you know, I'm going to teach you guys how to, as I said earlier, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to ask you guys challenging questions and I'm going to change your perspectives on things. Because if I'm able to do that successfully, I can almost promise you will solve your own problems. Because most times your life is just a reflection of what information you take in. So the more information you take in, your voice becomes buried. And so for me, in case you're wondering when this journey of mine started, I was always someone, as I mentioned, that used to ask that extra question. But I'm going to be honest, I was pretty naive to a lot of things. You know, grew up in a conservative household, bless my parents, you know, very structured. I was academically good student, even though I used to get suspended. So I think part of being a black sheep was because I felt like I was doing things that constantly caused me to be judged, where primarily it was being suspended from school. Now I was suspended at primary school, secondary school, not college actually. College I was almost close to being suspended. But for me, it was almost the thing where I was always being judged. But the only thing that I used to save me was the fact that I would get good grades. So because I used to get good grades, people were like, you know what, he may be a naughty kid, but he's still smart. So they couldn't deny that. But now it came to college. And I did really well. And you know, everyone said, go to university now. And now when I went to university, you know, to fast forward this story, because if you guys have been watching me, you know what this story is. But I kind of had this identity crisis moment where I started questioning things, and I said to myself, I don't even like being at university is destroyed to be my life. And I think every single one of you guys watching this have had this at least multiple times in your life, where it's not the fact that I'm against university. It's not the fact that I'm against, you know, going for higher education. But I didn't choose to do the course that I did. So I did optometry, which is glasses opticians, right? In case you guys don't know. And when I started doing that, I realized halfway that I don't like this at all. But then the advice you get most times is, are I broke your inner good university, you got good grades, there's good career prospects. Why don't you just stick with it? There's a difference between if I chose to do something, and I have to now bear the hardship versus somebody choosing something for me and me having to stick through with it just because it is the right thing. So I was left out cross-rook. I took a gap here first, just to figure my situation out. But I didn't do much in my gap here, right? So fast forward, I then go back to university. I had an exam to see. I failed the exam. Long story short, I dropped out now. So the moment I dropped out was the moment I realized everyone has an opinion on my life, but nobody's asking me what do I want, which is the theme of this podcast. If you don't ask, so for example, as a parent, as an older sibling, as a friend, if you don't ask the person, look, you dropped out of the university, what do you want to do now? Obviously I'm going to say, I don't know, because most of us don't know. And the beauty of life is you can figure things out, I missed, not knowing, but you're not taught. People think that you have to have clarity in order to be forward. You don't need clarity to be forward. Charity is found whilst you're moving, right? It's like, is that thinking to yourself, right? If you're in a fog, standing still in a fog, you're still going to be engulfed in that fog. But if you keep just walking, you're eventually going to reach a point where the fog just disappears. So the point I'm making to you guys is when I now dropped out of university, everyone had an opinion. Everyone was just telling me projecting their fears onto you know, you might not get good job. You may not end up as the mad people you were going to be. Disappointment. So I'm so graduated from university and you did it. Nope. And then it most of became a thing where I now found loss of inner situation where I'm now consuming so many people's opinions that I lost my voice. I no longer could trust myself because I'm hearing you dropped out of university, where you're going to need me in your life. And I'm not even emphasizing this whole idea that once you drop out of university, you're going to have this moment of clarity. I actually advise people to not drop out of university. So do not clip this and say, Oh yeah, he's basically made my mind up when it comes to dropping out. No. But all I'm saying is instead of someone sitting down with me, I say, Look, you dropped out of university because he said he wasn't for you. But now what is it that you are going to do? You don't only ask someone, what is it that you want to do or what is it that you want to try or what is it that you're looking into? You're now unlocking their ability to start thinking for themselves and their inner voice is starting to get louder. And that is what you're meant to do to yourself primarily. Whenever you're in a situation and your backs against the wall, I'm not saying that as a young person, you're going to have all the answers. But in terms of prioritization, you should always ask yourself, What would I do? Or what is there for me to do? Or how can I navigate this first? Journaling is a fantastic thing you can do. I tell people your brain is for creating, not for storing. So by journaling, by just brain dumping on a piece of paper and then looking at it, you can now connect all of those dots and you may actually have an answer. But I'm not saying that when you ask yourself or you rely on yourself, that means you have all the answers. No. But it means that you are building the way you view your intuition. The way you view your own intuition, you know, you trust it a lot more than what you hear from the outside. So now dropping out of university taught me that one thing. And the aim of this podcast is to help you unlock your voice. Because if I can help you unlock your voice, I can almost promise you your life in St. Nica is better. I'm not saying they are telling you that I'm going to be a guru. I don't have millions of dollars, but I'm definitely in the PC of that. And I think I can achieve it because of the way I view this. So this podcast is itself can be a form of self-documentation for me. You guys can actually see me speaking my mind and helping you guys unlock your own voices whilst we all continue to through life. Because we live in a broken system and there's no denying. This whole world is broken. And the worst thing that we've kind of attached to is consuming. Because when the world is broken, a small one is the one that blocks out all the noise and asks himself what is really happening. But how can he ask yourself what is really happening when you're always consuming? And I know I keep repeating this because it's very important to understand this from a young age. When you start questioning things, when you start asking yourself the extra question. Like for example, dropping out of university was one. And then I realized now obviously because I'm in a way better situation, there's a million or one ways to make your money. Right? You can become a trading, you can become an electrician, plumber, carpenter, you can get a tech, you can be software engineering, DevOps, you can get a tech sales which is why I do. You can start your business even though I do believe businesses are built of skills. So if you don't have skills developed of skill first or if you have a lot of capital, then you can start a business. But the point I'm making to you is success is self-defined. But the whole entire system is broken. And if you don't question and start trusting your inner voice, you are going to be a sheep. I don't think you guys understand this conveyor belt of life that you're on is only going to take you to your brave and you're never even or you're not going to know what has happened in your life. And I know one that for you. I don't even have to make millions of dollars. But because I can trust myself enough to know that I'm living very intentional and by intentionality, I mean I'm doing things that I genuinely really enjoy. As we progress through podcast episodes, I'm going to help you guys overcome, you know, caring about what people think and all of these kind of things. But when you get over what they call cringe mountain, right, you get over caring about what people think. There's the sense of liberation. My air is different to your air. The way I smell things, the way I view things different. And a big example is right now I live in the UAE. When I go back to London and I speak to some of my friends and they complain about their job and you know how life is so boring and how life is very mundane. And then I'll ask him a question of if you don't like this job that you are doing and obviously you don't have any financial responsibilities like kids and a family, why don't you just try something else? Oh, that's wrong. I can't bother. Really, within your complaining about your kind of life situation, I think for a lot of people who I've understood is because they've never sat down and actually thought about things, there's an imaginary monster in their life that is far bigger than they actually or they actually is. And the fact that it's imaginary means that it doesn't even exist to start with and I'm talking about fear by the way, right. When you know actually sit down and ask yourself what am I scared of? What am I fearful of? That monster is so big that you think that it's not even something we're thinking about. You think that if you think about your world's going to end. So what do most people do? They start drowning themselves in hedonism, you start consuming content, you start watching other people's lives, you start consuming entertainment, you start surrounding yourself with victims. And when you surround yourself with victims, you're almost no ceiling your fate. I can promise you this because one thing I learned together, one thing I learned is you know burns of the same feather flock together. So if you are if you are victim birds, victims love victims because they love wallowing, they love complaining, right. But I almost promise you and I know everything that I'm telling you right now solves the problem. If you just sit with yourself, ask yourself why am I doing this? Why am I so fearful of this? Why is it that I'm stuck in this? Why is it that I'm like this? You don't have to have a solution and the beauty of this is even if you sit with yourself and you now have an idea of why you do it, you can actually go on the internet now and search for solutions. But why would you consume content not having sat with yourself? I say this a lot of times right? When it comes to problems in life, like you know how there's a obsession of people trying to tackle pornography and drug addiction, video game addiction and all of these kind of things. As I said earlier, if you ask the extra question or if you sit with yourself long enough, you're not realizing that these things are not problems. They are an attempt to a solution. So when somebody's gunning for the banning of drugs or the banning of ex-rates content or the banning of video games, right? Why don't you why don't you take a step back, peel off a layer? And the fact that I said it is an attempt to a solution is people are voided inside. There's an emptiness inside. There's a deep underlying problem and their symptom is that of video games, music, x-ray content or whatever it may be. But if you focus on the surface level, they're going to go from one addiction to another addiction and I've seen this with my own two eyes. So this is again another reason why this podcast can revolutionize your life. I want you guys to start asking yourselves the extra question. I've got a self-work community logic, right? Which is going to have more real life roots. It's not the typical communities where it's all online and you know, people just listen and just consume content. I don't like that myself. So if I don't like that myself, why would I push that onto you? I want to do things in real life, especially for the youth because one thing I noticed is, you know, as technology advances, people are genuinely losing their socializing ability, their social skills and the type of things people tell you is, oh, go outside and go on a walk, go to the gym. I do say that sometimes occasionally as well. But if somebody's been indoors for so long, they're rusty. So how do you, you know, de-rustify them if that's even a word, correct me if I'm wrong? You need to give them the tools first. And this is what I'm going to do. In this podcast, every week, I'm going to drop an episode and in each episode, I'm going to leave a question at the end that I want you guys to think about. And this is an important task. If you're a real supporter of this podcast, then you're somebody that's going to follow the journey from the beginning to the end. And when you guys start asking yourselves the questions that I give you guys, and when the community does launch, you're going to see these questions there. And these questions are not me going to give you the answers to life. It's a mirror. You're going to look at yourself long enough to realize that all the things you are consuming, your whole entire life has drowned your own voice. And slowly or surely, you're going to unlock your own voice. And when you unlock your own voice through action as well, by the way, and to just make a clarification, you can't just sit there and keep asking yourself questions. Sometimes questions naturally arise, but the problem that you are thinking about is solved through action. So let me kind of break that down. I can think about why I do things. I may be able to ask myself that challenging question of, you know, why do I actually think like this? Why do I actually do this? But if you don't couple it with action, you're just going to deepen that hole that you're in. Because the worst situation is knowing your problem and continuing to do it. There's oblivion in this world, right? Some people are oblivious. They don't know why they do it. So they're attaching on to random things all the time. So in there, they're like, I don't know why I do this. So it kind of makes them feel slightly better. But imagine knowing why you do something and not taking action to overcome it, right? And that's the thing that I want to push towards you guys. So that's the aim of the self-work podcast. And I can almost promise you, as we continue through the episodes, I'm going to start bringing more and more challenging topics because the one thing I noticed, and I've tested this multiple times around people that I know and also online. When you live in denial, when you spend your whole entire life denying that you have a problem, it becomes a sensitive topic. And when it becomes a sensitive topic, that's very dangerous because you'll never be able to heal because anytime someone brings up something to you, anytime someone essentially says something to you regarding that thing, even if it is the most practical advice, even if you're watching this podcast episode. And I'm asking you a real challenging question, and it becomes sensitive. Instead of blocking it out, ask yourself the extra question, why is this sensitive? Why have I denied this for so long? Because there's a certain level of burial where you deny something for so long that you pretend it doesn't exist. And now when someone brings up and shows you look, you act this way, why do you act this way? You respond this way to the world, why do you continue to produce the same behaviors? If you now respond in a negative way, you're blocking your ability to heal. So all I'm going to say to end this episode is firstly, welcome to the official first episode. And secondly, if you don't look at yourself in the mirror long enough, and tune out every single noise out then everyone's got an opinion, everyone is trying to add something to your life, everyone is projecting fears onto you. But it is down to you to block it out and tune into your own voice. This is something I have to do through trial and error. But now that I know what I need know I can almost promise you if you implement these strategies your life is going to change. So that is episode one of the Self Work Podcast. I'll see you guys in episode two.