NLE Choppa & Syd on: Baptisms, Being Too High, Mental Health & The Internet

Hey everyone, it's the Jonas Brothers with the Hey Jonas Podcast. We've been catching up with some great friends, Paul Rudd, Michael Buble, Seth Meyers. And making some new friends while getting into what's really like to have sisters, like Alex and Ashton Earle. She likes to control everyone and tell everyone what to do. Okay, well control is a harsh word. Plus, we've been taking your calls, listening to your voicemails, and giving you advice. Listen to Hey Jonas on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Follow Hey Jonas and start listening on the free iHeartRadio app today. Hey Jonas is sponsored by Edible Arrangements. Order yours today at edible.com. Didn't catch the latest Roland Martin Unfiltered podcast? Here's what you missed. People wake up and go, oh damn, wait a minute, hold up. They changed all of that? Yes. It's real. This is a wholesale attack. It is targeting black people in every federal agency. It's raw. White folks have never allowed that reckoning to last more than a decade. Catch Roland Martin's daily commentary on the Black Information Network. And download Roland Martin Unfiltered on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts. Or wherever you get your podcasts. I remember my first bully. I was in kindergarten. Call him out, girl. Call him out. The ego is a necessary tool. It's the thing that reminds us of our work. Sound like I got to inflate the ego. Hey, she pointed at you twice. No, no. Some people do. Not talking about him. The feeling was so overwhelming. I thought I was going to die. I literally had to like create the space for myself and tell myself that it was okay to cry. I just heard all the times where when I cried, I heard like, stop crying, stop crying like, stop crying like, am I a millennial? You're on the cusp. It's okay. You're 94 and 95 starts Gen Z. Being the cusp of that I think is important because I was raised in what feels like two people. Being the cusp is important 'cause of me. I got the most important job around here. What was the first music you put on the internet? Flashlight? The first song? Yeah. Of mine? Yeah. No, it was one after that. Yeah, it was probably Flashlight. Flashlight. But it was one after that before internet stuff came out. Mm. No. Was Love 1, 2? What was that one? That's the internet song. Oh. That's on the first internet album, brother. Do you feel like y'all name of the band helped or hurt as far as people, like- Oh. It hurt at first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hard to find. It was hard to find. Even for me, I was a fan. But I also was like, yeah, it's hard to find the internet. Our mom. I'm on the internet. Yeah. Our mom was like, you're going to have to change the name of your band. I can't find it online. Yeah. And eventually, one day I Googled it and it was me and my homies. Yeah. You're like, you're wrong. I was like, okay, we did it. This worked. This worked. We did it. How'd you pick your name? Man. I was with a group at first. Choppa always came to me, but I made my own group called NLE after leaving a group of people. And then came that. Is the group still going on? Do you still have NLE? I know we're members that came and went, but like, do you still, it's still the group or no? Or are you just the only NLE left? He's like, I'm the one baby. It can be like that. We know what that's like too. Yeah. Being in a big group, I think is interesting. Especially coming up. Like looking back, you don't think about it. Or I say looking back, I think about it more. And at the time I didn't even think about it. It was just, I was hanging out with the homies. We were doing things. There's no thought behind it. You're just operating. And then at a certain point where you could be like reflective and look at it in retrospect, you're like, oh, what the fuck? That was a lot we did in such a short amount of time. But also, um, I guess I look at it and like, I'm not upset at myself or like angry with myself. I'm disappointed in myself at times because I'm just like, damn, I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough. I don't know. Like, sometimes the anxiety of what you're there for can, like, ruin what would be a moment, you know, or would be, like, a tourist kind of vibe. Like, that's why I used to tell people all the time, like, touring is one thing and vacationing is one thing, you know? And traveling is exhausting. Do you have time to, like, really take in that stuff? Like, when you travel and tour, do you, when you hit somewhere new, do you try to make sure you get outside and take in something new? Hell yeah. Yeah, you seem to be, like, a young, smart dude that, like, tries to do stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, I try to do the best I can. Me, I'm, like, simple, so, like, if I find me a park to where I can just put my feet in the grass, I'd be straight. Like, if I could just get some nature, I'm cool. Yeah, I don't need to go to a museum, honestly. I like to, yeah. Y'all don't like seeing stolen art? I like it. Y'all don't want to walk in and see what the white people took from y'all? Honestly, yo, honestly, renaissance museums are dope, though. But, yeah, a good park. Food. And food, like, food. And good food. Yeah, finding, like, new places to eat at. I like going TikTok. No, not no more. But you were vegan at one point. I was vegan, like, three years. I was vegan for, like, a year or so. What made y'all go, like, I gotta ask. What made y'all be like, all right, I'm done with this? Was it a meal you saw or something you just missed? And you was like, damn, man. That ain't good for me. It was Jamaican? Yeah. Yeah, it's no hard to be vegan in Jamaica. Yes and no. There's a lot of, like, believe it or not, there's a lot of vegan options in Jamaica. Because Rastafarians, a lot of them are vegan. Yeah, yeah. But there's also a lot of good meats. Yeah, crazy work. In Jamaican food. Yeah, pause and pause. Are we pausing this episode, nigga? What's going on? Both kinds. But, no, I don't know. I quit eating meat because I was on tour once. I was in Indonesia. And we were driving to this festival on the top, in the middle of this mountain in the forest or whatever. And it was, like, a two-hour drive around this mountain and it's real rural Indonesia, so, like, we're driving and on the side of the road, it's, like, you know, food carts with, like, chickens, like, hanging from the neck, like, in the cart, just, like, skinny-ass chickens, just, like. And I'm, like, and I had already had some chicken while I was there that just didn't taste good. It probably tasted like chicken. We're not eating chicken here. It was, you know. No, it was slightly, like, I was, like. Gamey? Yeah, or, like, it might have been, like, slightly undercooked to where I was, like. Oh, yeah, do it. To where I was, like, I'm not eating chicken while I'm here. I just can't do it. And so I left. I was, like, I'm just not going to eat chicken while I'm here. And then from there we went to Australia. Australia has a lot of vegan options, too. Have you been? Yes. Yeah, they have a lot of vegan options. Huh? Which parts do you want to. I was doing Laneway Festival, where you go to every, like. Like Mexico? Mexico. Melbourne, Brisbane. Melbourne, Perth, Brisbane, Sydney. I went to somewhere else, close to Australia, Carlisle. I think it's Carlisle. Queenstown? Ooh. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's beautiful, bro. Yeah. I love Australia. What's your favorite place to travel now? That you've seen a majority. I would assume a majority of the world touring and shit. I'm going to ask you the same thing. It's always Jamaica for me, for real. Oh, where? Yeah. Have you done a show there? Oh, no. Me neither. I don't know anybody who has nothing to do with that. I don't know. Y'all need to throw a show. All Jamaicans get together, put a show on. Hey. You know? BumbaFest. BumbaFest is crazy, dude. Yo. That would be cool, though. And you're 23? Are you 23, bro? You're so young, bro. You miss so much, bro. I know what I'm saying. Like, do you know what MySpace is? I mean, you know what MySpace is, but, like, you weren't around for MySpace. No. Bro. I didn't use MySpace. We was on. MySpace taught us. We was on, like, Kik. Kik. See, I've never. That was last year. I've never used Kik. Yeah. That's. I see it all the time. Yeah, it's like. I watch YouTube a lot. I see a lot of, like, clips, but, like, yeah, I've never used Kik. What social media. I'm old, though. I'm, like, 35. I'm damn near 40 now. What social media site do you feel like you've benefited most through music from? Instagram. Instagram, for sure. Over YouTube? I consider YouTube. Well, YouTube is. YouTube is. It's a fine line. Instagram. It's fast. That's your shakes. TikTok as well? TikTok like a motherfucker. TikTok that boy. I ain't gonna lie. TikTok that thang. And you launched from MySpace? Like, your music was your first on MySpace? Yeah. Yeah. They say it's coming back. No, it ain't. MySpace? They say MySpace is actually coming back. Who said it? Justin Timberlake? It's real shit. This is in the news. I think MySpace is relaunching. They said people. They're gonna try to relaunch. Social media place to go. And I don't know if it's Tom. I don't know if it's the same dude. His picture used to be wild as hell. Look back at it. It was weird. Weird-ass picture, wasn't it? It can't be Tom. I don't know if it's Tom. I don't know. Personally, I just feel like when it comes to stuff like that, you can't go backwards. You have to move. You can only go forward. Like, niggas ain't going back on MySpace. You need a new social media. I feel like niggas want a new social media, which I get. Like, we're tired of Instagram and TikTok, right? Or not tired of it, but like. No. That's all we got? We're tired. It's just. It's become like a business more so. Like, it's an algorithmic business. It is based on keeping us consumed and in the time and doing all this shit while not enjoying the actual world. That we live in. So, like, hearing this motherfucker at 23 years old. Excuse me for calling you a motherfucker. You know what I mean? This man. At 23 years old, talking about, I want to go outside, find a park and touch grass, I think is an important thing. It's the necessary change that is quite. Like, I watched a video the other night and this girl was making fun of her sister who was an influencer and she was like, "We're going to eat lettuce," like doing all this stupid shit and it was like, "Wow, I wonder if kids will be like that with us how we were with our parents." You know, everything that they did to us was like, "What's my mom got on Facebook? I was out." Yeah, for sure. That's always a breaking point. Yeah, it's like- I think generations are reactions to the one that raised them. Not the one necessarily above them, but the one that raised them. Millennials, I think, are raising. Millennials are raising Gen X. Alpha or some shit? No, they're raising Gen X. Gen Alpha are the kids right now. They're the youngest ones. They're going to be a lot. Yeah, and then Gen Z. They seem to really not really mess with the super technology stuff. Which ones? Gen Alpha. They like. Really? I will say probably like iPads. What age group is Gen Alpha? I think they're in middle school now, probably. Makes sense. Isn't it not messing with technology? They're not like all this AI stuff. They're not really interested in it. What are the years of generations? Like is generation- My manager has kids that age. Is generations like a five-year thing? Is it a 10-year thing? If we're speaking about it, like Gen Alpha- I had to Google it. I'm not going to lie. I had to Google it. What do you think is 19 years? Or 20 years, right? 20 years is the generation? No, because then me and you- I think it's going by the tens. I think it's by the tens. Is it by the tens? So the 90s would be one generation? The 80s? It covers. I thought, no. It covers- Oh, it's 15. It's 15. 15 years is a generation? Yeah. That makes sense, I guess. So- Because you're first- I pulled up a little chart. It says Gen Alpha is 2010 and up. Gen Z is 95 and up. Millennials. Okay. So yeah. Millennials were raised in Gen Z. So yeah. Millennials- Am I a millennial? We're millennials. Yeah. I'm the last- You're on the cusp. You're on the cusp. So okay. Being the cusp of that, I think, is important because I was raised- Of course you think this. Being the cusp is important because of me. I got to bring these niggas together. Hey. You're like, "All right, bro. All right." Hey. No, I grew up in two generations, I feel like. And then you got parents. My parents are- Boomers. Yeah. They're older than the majority of the rest of my homies' parents. Yeah. So like- That's what you said. Two generations. Two generations. Two generations. Yeah. How old is your mom and parents? About 50. About 50. It's two generations, always. It's like two generations. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. For the most part. My mom, I'm trying to think. My mom was- They're boomers. She was born- I got to look at the back. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I think millennials are the best because, I will say as much, because we did get both technology and no technology. Yeah. Yeah. Mm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. So it allows us to understand both sides of it in a way. Yeah. Like, I don't know if we are in love or introduced the same way as the younger generation to technology. I think- But it allows us to have, I think, a healthier balance- Yeah. There. Yeah. It's for sure escalated so much from y'all's time, for sure. Yeah. Because I'm thinking in the same token, it's like, I ain't going to lie, it was things during that time where people were excited to see or excited to have their hands on, too. Yeah. But it's undeniable, the leaps that technology has taken to get people more and more hooked. Yeah. But, yeah. It's slot machine technology and those algorithms, they say. Yeah. The swipe up is a slot machine. Yeah. It's a slot machine. It's like in hopes that the next thing will be something that you care about. Yeah. In hopes of the next thing. And I think, yeah, grand scheme of things, we're fucked, low key. Like, it's fried. No. And it's on the kids now to be the difference between us. Like, I hope that they skew more analog and focus more on being, like, present in situations. And I think a lot of us, now at our age, talk about how present we want to be, but that's, we talk about it on the internet, so it don't really make no fucking sense. I mean, shoot, good luck finding a new post. I have such a hard time. I think what's dope, though, about, like, what you're saying is, like, how the, um, I want to look into that, you was like, um, Gen X. Yeah, yeah. They're not really into the technology. Gen Alpha, yeah. The kids. Yeah, Gen Alpha. Yeah. They, like, um, my manager has kids in middle school and high school. And he was like, they think that's lame. They think all this AI, these AI deep fakes, they think it's so lame. I don't know. I feel like, I feel like, you know. You have a nine-year-old, though. You have a nine-year-old, yeah. Yeah. And he goes to school. I feel like it's easier, again, to not give kids screen time when you have money. It's easier to, like, have the idea of saying, oh, kids. They're saying, oh, kids are not into that because we have two nannies. Very easy for me to say, hey, you gotta go play basketball with this thing or read. No, to your point, my manager don't have a TV in his house. Oh, see, you know. Never have. Yeah, so it's gonna be easy to say, no screen time. We ain't got no screens. Yeah. Yeah. Damn, no TV in the house. And also, I, yeah, we grew up on TV. Like, TV was a huge part of my life. I love TV. I think it's a balance. I think you, you know, again, you don't want your kids to be weird, socially weird, 'cause they don't, they can't connect to certain things. I'm not saying that, like, it's bad. I think those kids probably be smarter. There'll be all these different things, but then you'd be like, from a social standpoint, you lose out on so many things that technology does bring you and connectivity. Facts. Balance is the word for sure. Balance. Facts. Yeah. Yeah, no, I think there's a thing going on where, you know, certain people are trying to kind of, like, censor social media for kids right now. 15 and under. Yeah. There's, like, 16 or something. There's, like, a whole, they're trying to pass some laws. China and France have already passed it. Right. And they're trying to do it here. But one of the pushbacks that I, one of the pushbacks that I heard about as a perspective of, I saw somebody I watch on YouTube was, like, what about the kids who live in rural, rural areas who maybe, like, don't fit in anywhere where they live. Except for some community online. Except for something they saw online that lets them know they're not alone and, like, you know. And that's where I'm like, aw. Yeah. I think that is important. Especially, yeah, if you're not, like, there is some kids who I grew up around or I know through video games that I didn't, you know. Yeah. You're like. Right. My homie, Austin. Austin's not, like, the most outward person. He's, like, be chilling at the crib. But when we play video games, it's like, we connected playing video games, bro. I ain't never met him in my life before we played video games. Yeah. I invite him to the movies. And then y'all met up? Are you one of them kids? Yeah. I love that about you, bro. Hold on, hold on. I'd be sitting on the internet. It'd be, like, a whole bunch of kids. I'd be like, this is my first time meeting him. Yeah. It's been 15 years. Yeah. That's crazy. That's dope. It is dope. We met during COVID playing video games with two other people. I didn't know he lived in LA. Like, I didn't know any of these people. I was just playing video games, met these people, whatever. They lived in Minnesota and he lived in LA. And one day I was talking about something and he was on the game and I was like, why are you on, bro? It's, like, late for you. He was like, it's 12. It's 12 o'clock. And I was like, oh, it's 12. Where you live at? He was like, I live in Northridge. I was like, oh. What the fuck? Nigga. What you do? That's so dope. That is crazy. That's crazy. I always get a little bit afraid of that also. Yeah, of course. You think you talk to an I.O. and then. Right. Oh, I'm 32. Yeah. No, they. Shoot. Yeah. I think it was Roblox or something. Roblox. I was getting in trouble for that. Yeah. Roblox is a little weird. That's funny you say that, though, because, like, I think we supposed to be my generation's Gen Z. When we used to play the games, same type thing. And on social media, we'll be able to see, like, it was more so pain to our location. So like, we was on Instagram. We'll see, like, you know, plus if you following people from Memphis, you'll see the broad aspect of, like, Memphis. So like, you know, you can meet, like, I was meeting with different artists and stuff from different hoods and different stuff. But we would have never truly crossed paths probably on an everyday basis if I didn't have social media. So that's funny you say. And our parents told us social media and video games were going to give us shit. And they made hell of it. Yeah. Rich as hell. Yeah. Yeah. It gave us perspective, too. Get nothing from us. Yes. That's the biggest thing I think. Perspective. Yeah. Because I ain't going to lie, man. Like, I'm a firm believer. Like, you know, when you just see things on the internet, like, it's a whole nother world behind that. And I feel like a lot of fans are blessed to see, like, probably, like, one or two, three, five percent. But they never, you know, social media never give you what's truly going on, like, behind the scenes of a person physically or even what's on their mind spiritually on a day to day basis. So I think, like, the word balance is so beautiful because if kids are learning, like, hey, this is a world, but it ain't the world, I think that's when it's, like, more shifting and more things could be compatible with where we're trying to lead. That's the key. Yeah. Because it's easy, especially as a kid, I feel like it's easy to get lost in, oh, so and so said this about, commented this to me, and da da da da, people talking about me, and da da da. And, you know, for us, we kind of came up on the internet at a time where that was almost new. Mm-hmm. Like, Twitter was brand new when we got on. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And we had to, like, learn how to handle that. Mm-hmm. Like, how to handle people talking about you. Yeah, we were the first generation to learn about it. Yes. People saying whatever they want, you know? Like, it's funny, actually, like, I had to ask mom to stop responding to people about me. Man. That happens. On Instagram. One moment, dude. - It's a crazy thing. - It's crazy. - I caught my mama in the middle of typing one. - But they're not used to it. Like they, and I, and I told her, I was like, I know it's annoying. Like you have, you have people saying whatever they want about people you actually know. And you're like, "Hey, that's not true." And I was like, these people aren't here to be convinced. - No, you're yelling on a soapbox. - Yeah. - It falls on deaf ears 'cause no one knows who you are. - Not only that, people aren't, most people aren't there to be convinced. - Yeah, at all. I'm here to break you. I'm gonna be honest, like, I ain't gonna lie, like the last few, few, I think like the last few days, like probably about a weekend, I think like it took me probably about like, it was like three, four, I'd say three, four, five years of just being like high-rooted. And then it got to a point to where like, man, I really started to see certain things about like me or words on my character that once I started to really see some people believe, I think that's what, that's where the shift in me is. - Like, it's like, it's like, dang, it's like, like you know some things aren't true within you. So, you know, you good with it and then you live a way where it's like, I know me, I'm cool. And I really embody, I know me, I'm cool. But then I had to wake up one day, I said, hold on now. Like, I said, it's a lot of people that could take a smear campaign and be consumed by and then, man, I kid you not, my mom, there's one lady, like, whenever it was something on my name, she tried to make sure her best, she was on the front line with like being vocal, like, nah. But I think the last few days I've been trying to speak up more for myself because I, you know, that's bullying. - Yeah. - At the end of the day. And I think like, man, I remember my first bully. - Call him out. - Yeah, I was in kindergarten. - Call him out. - Hey. - Let him know. - Hey, times have changed. - You doing good now? - Man, what was crazy though, it was like, I was in kindergarten, it was like K through 12. The kid was in high school. - Oh, that's insane. - Wow. - Yeah, bullying a child is insane. - Yeah, five year old is insane. - I remember, man, my pops, he came up to the school and it was a thing, he was like-- - How much y'all know each other? That's crazy. Like, why would he be talking to you? That's insane. - Man, bro, it was, I don't know, man. It was placed in my path since yay high. Like, kindergarten I had to learn, like, you know, how to speak up or stand up for yourself. And I'm at the point now, it's like, well, you know, if a person is given a perception of you and then you're not given another perception, and then within that you got the truth, right? Then you don't give yourself a fair shot to even be judged good. 'Cause it's a thing. - Yeah. - And love, we wanna be accepted, so yeah. - It's a human trait, yeah, to wanna, like, and think about it, like, on an evolutionary level, like, if humans weren't accepted in a community, they died. - Yeah, luxury. - They couldn't survive. So yeah, that's how we survive, is like, you know, finding ways to, like, accept one another more than just tolerate one another. - Yeah. - But also, yeah, learning how to speak up for yourself. - I saw a rapper, Tuhalis, talking about it's not normal to be famous, and I thought about that. It's not normal to see people talk about you in any capacity, especially the way you were able to do it. Comment on whatever the fuck I do, whatever. It's like, that's not normal. - Right. - That's not supposed to happen, so how do we manage, like, mental health is a super strong thing, and I think you guys both are adamant about how important it is, but like, how do you manage that through all this shit, like, you know what I mean? It's like, and no one can really give you the advice. It's like, yeah, you can turn the other cheek, but unless somebody's in that position, it's impossible. So is there any advice that, like, a celebrity is giving you that's been like, this is some bullshit. This is like-- - Well, I think it's like what you said earlier, just like, this is, you know, this is not the whole life. This is not your whole life. - Your whole life, yeah. - You know, and for me, being present helps, and focusing on what's really around me. Like, you know me, I spend all day at home, in my backyard with my dogs. - I love that. - In my garage, smoking and watching TV. - I love that, it's my life. - Yeah, no, and my favorite thing to do is like, nothing. Like, my favorite thing to do is like, not have to do nothing, you know what I mean? I don't want nothing on my schedule. - Yeah, you got nervous, this one, right, too. - Yeah, exactly, so yeah, I think it's, you know, it's a balance of, and I'll say this, like, I struggle, like, sometimes with social media for part of like, feeling vain, you know? 'Cause to your point, like, celebrity, one, it's not normal to be this kind of celebrities we have now, especially, where like, you can literally open an app and see all the, see everything about you. - Everybody's business, where they live, their bathrooms. - Too much access. - It was a time where celebrities would only see that, like, in print, you know what I mean? Like, and they were able to kind of hide away from it. - I wish that wall would kind of go back up. Not completely, but I wish that there was at least a barrier. I feel like a lot of people are too comfortable with people that they see on the internet and think that that is the person they know, and they're like, "Oh, bro, Charba, what's up, bro? "You're like, I don't know you at all." But they feel like they know you because of social media. They feel like they know you 'cause of your music. I think music, specifically, is a more in-tune, personal thing with somebody. 'Cause somebody can hear a song and be like, "That shit changed my life." And come up to you and give you that message. But if you're at the airport and you retire, you're like, "I don't give a fuck right now, bro." Like, I'm looking for gate 12A, dude. Like, leave me the butt alone. - I will say this, like, I think, you know, what you put out comes back to you. So, I'd say, like, I've never had a fan or an experience where somebody came up to me and was like, "Yo, I love you." Like, ah! Like, I've never had that, and I think it's because my music doesn't give that. So, I just get what I've put out, which has been really beautiful. Like, I feel like I have the best, best listeners ever. I'll be in the line at Starbucks looking and be like, "What's up, can I get it?" And they'll be like, "Yo, Purple Naked Ladies?" That's my first album that most people have never heard of. And like, I just love that. And they don't want a picture either. They just like, "Yo." - A good interaction is the best. So, the bad interaction is terrifying. - You worked with your mom as well, right? - Yeah. - As you, yeah. - Yes. - And then you guys have worked together. - My mom and my dad. - Your mom and your dad. - Yeah. - My mom, my business manager, my pops, my role manager. - What would you feel like? 'Cause they work together as well. These are their siblings, if you didn't know. No, what would you say are like the negatives and positives of working with your family? - Ooh. I'd say, the thing is, is that a family dynamic, the enemy never likes that. So, I think like you get attacked the most when you're working with people you've grown up with and known all your life. So, the attack is greater. And one thing that has helped me is just knowing to honor your parents keeps you alive. And not just alive physically, but just like, it keeps you blessed. And it's been like, test after test after test of like, you know, business is pressure sometimes. So, pipes are bust. And some days, the conversations ain't too, "Hey, mom," and woo, woo, woo. It's a test going on. And she never, my pops and my mother, they never forsaken me no matter how tough things got. And there was moments where I probably could say that I forsaken them. But I always got back to honor. - Yeah. - So, yeah. - That's beautiful. - Yeah, that was great. - And no, to your point, like, yeah, the black family is very important. - Has been under attack for years. - It's very important. - Y'all, I want to hear y'all though, too, from y'all dynamic in general, you know. - Working together with her wasn't, didn't last that long. We worked together for, I mean, a long time. But like, on the road and on tour, it was only like a few months. She got done with touring. She was the DJ originally, and then at one point, she was like, "I'm over this show, I'm going home." And we were in Minnesota, and they left, they threw me on stage with Jasper and left Brain to DJ. I fucked up a bunch of times. I went to the back. Then Sid was supposed to come to Toronto, and that was the next show. And she, like, didn't come. I can't remember why you didn't come, but you were like, "I'm not coming back." And they were like, "Well, somebody gotta do it." And I just went on stage and imitated her. That's why, that's the only DJ I'd ever seen DJ, like the way she did. So I just imitated her. But I think, for me, it was like, I was just led by example more than anything. Like, she handled everything so professional. Like, it wasn't, it was a bunch of, 12 guys and her on a tour bus. Like, bro, my sister was as sane as she could possibly be with that going on. So with that, it's like-- - Not very. - It's possible. - But we learned, I think, later on, we learned to, not how to hold each other, hold each other accountable, exactly, but just how to like acknowledge, like, "Hey, you fucked up." And it was usually on me. She was like. You're pointing at how I got confused. No, no, no. She'd be like, "You fucked up." And it was like, I guess I kind of had like, not a mom on tour, but I had somebody who would hold me accountable no matter what. Who would? Yeah. Not a yes man. That was a real love. That's real. That's real. Exactly. Yeah. This your little brother, so I know how that could feel. I'm a baby too, so I know my brothers got a certain dynamic with me where they'd be like, "This nigga's annoying. We don't want this nigga around." I know you had to have moments where you was like, "This nigga is killing me." Honestly, he fit in more to Op Future than I did, to be honest. So honestly, when I left the tour, honestly, it made sense. Also I had already, by the time I left, I had already put out an album. My band's first album had already came out, so we left so that we could tour. I left so that we could tour. I obviously was done. I was done for other reasons as well. Mostly I have depression, clinical depression. I wasn't medicated at the time when we started touring and getting out there, and mind you, when we started touring, Travis wasn't there. It was just me. Yeah, I wasn't allowed because I was too young. I was 16. Yeah, he wasn't 18 yet. So I was only allowed to come do spot dates. So the whole first tour she did by herself, and then the second real tour, no, you did the first two tours. Yeah. Then I came on when I was 17. We were doing Loiter Squad, and I just flown for spot dates. I'd come in for a day, go home, come in for four days, go home, and then it got to a point where I was 18. I was able to be there full-time at 17 years old, which is still crazy to think about, but yeah, I kind of had a babysitter, you would say, with her, where it was just like, I can do a bunch of stupid shit, but at a certain point, I'd had somebody who was going to be like, "Get your dumb ass in the fucking hotel." She had to feel great. I was just going to look at it. I think by that point, personally, I was like, "I'm not mothering him." Yeah. Also, him and Tyler. Tyler, her best friend, so I knew he had somebody there, and Tyler wasn't going to let him do anything stupid either, so I honestly wasn't worried about you like that on the road. I was just like, "Get me out of here," but it was mostly my own depression that made it so hard for me to tour with them, and the fact that I couldn't talk to any of them about it. Yeah. We didn't have that kind of relationship. Yeah. We also, nobody was mature enough to- I'm sorry. I met y'all then. Yeah. I met you guys then. I knew. Yeah. I told him my- It wasn't the place. I said, "I hated you, nigga," when I first met you. That nigga was killing me. Honestly, during that time, during that time, I didn't even talk to him. I didn't start talking to him again until I moved back into the house. I'll tell you. For real. The first time we really started talking, for real, for real, we obviously were siblings, and when you have siblings or you have family in general, things go through shit, like you're saying. Yeah, for sure. It's just moments where you guys aren't on the same level or- Page. Yeah, on the same page. On the same page. And she moved back into the house after living somewhere else for a second, and I was living at the house at the time, and I think I was 21, maybe I was 20. Yeah, I think so. I just started smoking weed again, and so we sat outside, smoked a joint, and it was like- Thought you was cool. Nah, he kinda cool, man. Yeah, I know. No, the truth is, for instance, Tyler is, what do they call it, straight edge. He doesn't smoke. He doesn't drink. Doesn't do anything. And Travis was on that same type of time, at the time. But I think, you know, life and tour. He got home and was like, "I'ma hit this kush." He was like, "I don't care what my big homie doing, he don't have to do this. I'ma hit this kush." You can do what you do, big fella. And honestly, yeah, I moved back home around that time when he had started smoking. I had been smoking. I was the first one to get you to smoke. So we started smoking together. Yeah, no, my first time smoking was within hours. It was on 4/20. We were at home. Yeah. We were at high school and he had got some weed from some girl at school. And we went, we smoked it in our neighbor's backyard. I got so faded. We all got so faded. We all got so faded. It was crazy. But yeah, by then I was like, you know, I was smoking. Honestly, I was smoking to self-medicate for my depression. I wasn't even, I didn't have, I wasn't on medication at the time. Now I'm medicated. I've been medicated now for like five years. That's why I started smoking. My anxiety started just getting crazy. But part of me feels like sometimes when I do smoke, this shit is helping my anxiety get stronger. Yeah, no. I'm like, this is not helping me, nigga. This is just an image. No, yeah. Hey, hey. Hey, you want to know something though? I just figured something out, right? Bro, I found out today that when you feel like you, when you feel like you like tweaking a little bit out the weed, it's just really highlighting like, it's highlighting something drastic that's just going on within you. Like, it's kind of hard. It's kind of hard to explain, but it's like when I realized, I was like, man, I feel a little unsettled. And I had nothing to like truly lean on, but like just my breath. And I think like once I started to just breathe a certain way, it like put me in control over the high. Nice. I don't know if that makes sense, but I think like what was dope out of it was like some people, some people were smoking, but like I said I was tweaking, I was tripping, I was tripping. Or I think like my perception of it has changed and it's like, I think like when I'm like, when I smoke, it more so show like how my body is like trying to fight against being relaxed. More so than just like, like relax, girl, like, you know what I'm saying, I think my body be like, uh-uh, what the fuck going on, like nah, we can't slow down, like, and then my body fight that and I think like the tree tries to slow you and I think like we just be so fight or flight that it don't feel right. Yes. Like, hell nah, like, it can't be true, you know. Yeah. Nah, it's that ebb and flow. They say you just got to go with it, bruh, like you got to surrender. That's what, I think that's what that is, is like surrendering to like how you, what's actually going on instead of trying to fight it. Yeah. The advice you gave me was fucked up. What? You said like, you get too high, just keep smoking. You'll figure it out. You'll figure it. And I was like, all right. I say this. You a hopper. You a hopper. You a damn buster. Nah. Nah. Nah, nah, nah. He be giving me, he be tossing me one liners I don't even remember saying. When I get too high, I pray. When you get too high, you pray? I pray. Oh word. That's some good weed. That's probably the best thing I could, that's probably the best thing to do. I'm a be 100 like, brother power of prayer, real. Whenever I get too high, if I feel like I'm too over, I go straight to praying and I just be like, Heavenly Father, you know, I apologize. I ain't been that high yet, like I don't jump into prayer. I'm gonna say it. I pray to myself. I definitely will breathe. Like you said. I think it'll show you, it shows you in real, because, because of how heightened you is, it shows in real time how, like if you really intentionally create the space for it when you, when you high, I swear on everything it work. So smoke with Jesus. I got you. You gotta bring, you gotta bring God everywhere, bruh. You gotta bring him everywhere. You sure, you sure. That's that sativa. That touch for the first time. I think, hey Pop, I think I got baptized when I was a kid. I think I got baptized when I was a kid. I think I got baptized when I was little too though, right, when I was, yeah, I got baptized when I was little, but. So you got re-baptized recently? Yeah, I got re-baptized. What made you want to do that? Brother? Man, I went through a strong period of my life, like trying to find me. And I think literally being judged since I was 16, really 14, on a microscope to a lot of people. I think it unconsciously took an effect on me to where it's like I tried to start to fit into all of the boxes people wanted to put me in. Really got caught up in judgment and started to look in the mirror and just see something about me where I felt like maybe I'm not good enough or maybe I need to change this or change that. And God permitted all of the attacks. He permitted all of the confusion. He permitted every single attack on my mind, every thought. He permitted it. And He knew that I was going to keep seeking and keep fighting. And I came full circle with accepting Jesus Christ into my life because I found true peace in knowing I didn't have to be perfect. Like someone has literally already walked that for me. Brother? Yeah. Like I was wrestling with the Jesus peace, not the one on your neck, but the Jesus peace. Like I was wrestling with that for a time. And I didn't understand the importance of Christ. I didn't understand why you couldn't just go straight to the Father or God. Like I didn't understand the mediator portion of it. I know what you're saying. The messenger, I guess. The messenger, yeah. I didn't understand it. But as I kept seeking, kept learning, I'm always like, I just want to find truth so I can go to sleep and know that I'm good and wake up and know I'm good. So man, I just kept seeking, bro. And Christ, I swear, His power and His name, when I called out to His name, it literally like something like shed it in me and died on the spot. And it's like. My feeling was so overwhelming that I thought I was going to die. Like, like I genuinely, I genuinely like was, was feeling like I was transitioning. Like I, I feel like I, I think I, I think I like, like, like literally, like I kid you not, I swear to God, I was sitting on the balcony and I called and I kept just calling out to Jesus. I kept calling and calling and calling and, um, the spirit overtook me and I literally like started to like, just feel my body, like just feel his presence. And I just felt my body just kept leaning and I just kept leaning and I just kept slouching. And I was like, in my mind, I was like, what is happening? And then I heard his voice. He said, just let it happen. Just surrender. Like, just relax. Right. With the tree. Just relax. Yeah. Just trust. Yeah. I'm with you. Trust the process. Trust the universe. You're not about to die like that's what I really wanted to make sure. I'm like, you ain't going to die. That's not good. You needed me to get here just so I could, so I could be good when I come back. I was like, oh, that's no fun. I done said to Christ, nah. I said, damn. Wait a little longer. That's funny. It, it happened. And then, um, but since that day, um. He, um, restored me, um, he was, he restored me in a manner I can't complain. And the restoration wasn't nothing exoteric. It was more so like within, like every single thing within me just started to feel better. And I, I tell people, I said, I was baptized before I got baptized. Like he restored me. Man, he was, he was still restoring as, but like the, the starter kit of my restoration is appreciated. That's beautiful. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Damn, that was, that was great. Y'all ready to go home? Two times I've been like, man, that was great. I'm fine with you. I get it, I get it. Remind me of this one time. I smoked DMT. Okay. How was that? You touched God for sure. Similar vibe. Similar vibe. I've been scared of that. I think like for me, ayahuasca has been something I looked at, um, as far as like getting an ego death out of. But I think that's like something you kind of find. It's like you're trying to find something within yourself rather than going to seek it. Yeah. Uh, I think that'll, I, I personally think that'll happen when I have children. I think when I realize that something is more important than me, not saying that I'm the most important thing in the universe, but like when my care for myself is beyond just for me, I think that's when I realized like, damn. I think too though, like, um, that word balance, bro. Like I feel like it's good ego too. Like I feel like you got good ego and you got good pride. Like, like for real, for real. Like, I feel like, um, it's okay. Like the main thing is just like, I was in search of a perfect version of you or like a fix whole time. Like, no, I was made how I was made for a reason. And I stopped like trying to critique and just started to just accept. I'm like, all right, like, bro, you ain't the best in this area. Like, just stop trying. Like, just, just figure out how to live in something. And like, just, I don't know, like, you know, just allow it to, to be instead of like fight it. And, um, bro, I love my ego. Like, oh God, like, because. No, it's funny because I have an album called Ego Death, but like, I've never experienced it. Sometimes I need it. And I don't think, and I agree with you. I think the ego is a necessary tool because it reminds, it's the thing that reminds us our worth. The issue is when it gets inflated, it'll tell you you're worth more than you are. Cause you're never worth more than the next human being, you know, but, but, uh, an inflated ego will, will make you think you are, you know, I think a lot of people need ego death. Some people have inflated egos, but, um. That made me sound like I got an inflated ego. No, no. Some people do. We're not talking about him. We can talk at home. I'm not talking about him. I promise. I promise. No, no. No. Or you. I'm not talking about anybody here. I'm, I'm just, yeah, I, I, I'm, I'm a firm believer. That like the ego is a helpful tool. It'll make sure you don't get taken advantage of out here. Yeah. I guess that's the real thing. Yeah. Just the balance. Facts. And pride too. You know, there's, there's, there's pride. Having pride. Right. There's pride that goes past the point of being helpful. And that word accountability you said was just like, um, what made y'all connect the most on tour. And just like in general in life with having her around was just like someone holding you accountable. Man, um, family's good for that. That's great for that. I can't, I can't, I mean, it's hard to hide from family. Like you can do all these things, say all these things, but like your family really knows you. My sister and me lived in the house together for a fuck. We shared a bathroom. Yeah. Like we know each other through and through. And so for that, it's like, there is no room for me to act like somebody else or do some other shit. That would be outlandish or just not in my character in front of, she'd just be like, what are you doing? Like, it's just a, a. It's a simple question. I'd probably ask if you were okay, but yeah. Yeah, you would ask me very like, are you okay? You know, I'm fine, whatever, but like. Why? So my family knows me, but I feel like also I moved here at 19. Oh. So you don't know me either as an adult. I know a different version of. My siblings, I didn't live with them and then I'm the baby. So they were all out of the house before me. You're the baby and you're also the most successful. Yes. Is that. That is true. It's a, it's a version of like. Well, my wife knows me the most. Yeah. In my opinion, just because from there. Like, they all left the house two, four, six years before I did. Yeah. So by the time my sister was left, I was 12. Yeah. So you don't really know me as an adult. Right. So to speak, you know what I mean? Right. But yeah, I do agree. It's tough, it's tougher when you, when you have that side of it. Because I feel like you don't get to have as much of a relationship as through the phone. Or it's through you trying to take some trips here and there. Or flying everybody out here. Yeah. But then you only get so many days together. And you feel like, you know, I do, you know, try to accept accountability from, from those, my siblings and stuff. But I feel like I probably know people here a little more. Like some of my friends and like my, you know what I mean? Like, I don't want to say mentors, but like big homies as we were speaking of. I feel like I still met a lot of those individuals out here. But I feel like they know me a little more. But, you know, it's tough because I feel like my brothers see me in a way. You know, therapy will tell you that your siblings or people a lot of times can only see you in the last moment they had dominion over you. Or they were, you know, and I'm the baby. So I think I never am able to lose that. You're the baby. Like, what the fuck do you know? I could do everything in the world. I could have every business, take care of your lives in this way. They still look at you and be like, thank you, baby. Right. You're like, damn, that's crazy. That's deep. Do you have siblings? Oh, I got two brothers and one sister. What are your age? What are your differences? I'm the youngest. You're the youngest. So you get, we're three youngest and. Because we get to watch their mistakes. Yeah. Yeah, but she didn't make no fucking mistake. I made no fucking mistakes, bro. I made a lot of mistakes, though. Yeah. You didn't make many mistakes. My brother was learning. Man. I didn't like being spoken to. At all? At all. I mean, I did whatever I had to do to, like, make sure adults did not talk to me. So I got good grades. I didn't talk back to nobody. She used to talk back to kids at school for fucking her sleep. Yeah. Okay. I was a big class sleeper. Okay. But I also got good grades. And I also wasn't about that, like, you over here doing the most. Like, shut up. Or go home. That was my thing. So, yeah. It was a time. It was a year in high school where I was cussing kids out in class for, like, being loud. What was he like in high school? Oh, God. Terrible. Oh, what? That's what he kind of said. He brags about it, too. He's like, yeah, I did what I wanted to do. Nothing happened. And I'm like, nigga, what is this? Yeah. No, honestly, nothing happened until he got an adult and got knocked the fuck out. Oh, he didn't tell this story. Never. He told me he'd be knocking niggas out left and right. You're right. No, I didn't get punched in the mouth. I got punched in the mouth as an adult, and it changed my whole perspective on life. It changed his life. That does for everybody. It wakes your ass up. Because he was a kid with mad big homies. Bro, I used to get punched in anything. He got away with everything. And somebody would be like, you're going to let him beat me up? They'd be like, hell no. Yeah. And I'd have, like, five niggas ready to fight for me. Yeah. Shit in his nature. Shit. So he was, yeah. But, no, funny thing is, like, we were pretty much chill unless we went to school together. We're two years apart, right? So we'd overlap sometimes where we end up at the same school. And mom pointed it out to me once. She was like, y'all fight more when y'all are going to the same school. That's valid. Because we'd see each other all goddamn day. Yeah. We'd be picked up in the same car riding home. And I done seen the bullshit he was doing. He was doing that shit. You don't know. I had to, like, I had to throw a basketball at a nigga's head today. Brandon Weiss. Because he was finna get his ass whooped. Brandon Weiss. And it was his fault. He would have deserved it. But I couldn't let it happen. And me and him got into it. And he chased me around. I was like, yeah, now she came to my rescue. A little brother energy for sure. Yeah. But we also, do we fight much physically? Yeah. Like, a few times. But, again, it was probably, like, we were going to the same school. But we were seeing too much of each other. And you was way cooler. You hooped and stuff too, right? Yeah, we both did. Oh, you hooped there too? No, I know you played basketball. Y'all know Stilo and I know he's fucking with me right now. To your point. He's trying me right now. To his point. He's not being nice. To his point. I took basketball more seriously when we were kids. That's what he said. Oh, no, no. Yes, I did. Okay, you know when you're a kid and you're hooping like your homies are hooping. Y'all play basketball. Y'all love basketball. Sid took it a step further. Sid had, like, a personal coach. She went to go learn how to shoot more and learn. Like, she did drills. I was just like, I'm trying to hoop, bro. I'm just nasty. No, I did both. Like, honestly, by the time I got to high school and I realized people, like, cared so much, I was like, oh. But you cared somewhat to go get a coach. Like, everybody doesn't. He lived, like, a block away from me. I walked to his house. This is true. It was easy. Yeah, but it's still like, even Bron talked about, like, he didn't have a real workout or workout until he made it to the league damn near. Like, to at least have the presence of mind as a young'un to be like, I'm going to get a coach to put in this effort to be better at something. It's not something people always have. Until maybe later on in their life, they realize there's certain work that needs to go into things and stuff like that. I was really good, like you, at basketball, but I wasn't necessarily working hard at all. I had all natural ability. It was bare minimum. Yeah, I was doing the bare minimum. Yeah, me too. And only when my coach was watching. Yeah, push-ups. If I watched the other niggas stay after practice, I'd have to stay after practice just pretending shit like this, man. See, that wasn't me. Look, I got to high school. I did tryouts. Ninth grade, I did tryouts. I made the JV team or whatever. Our coaches. Were just mean. They were terrible and they were ass. So not only did they get fired, so I quit the team. I made it through conditioning just so nobody could call me a bitch. And then I showed up to game one, no uniform, and was like, I think I'm done. I love showing up still. Yeah, I had to show up. In a suit. I showed up in jeans. I was like, I think I'm good. He was like, all right. Didn't even look at me. Oh, nigga, walked with a lamp. Didn't even look at me, right? All good. I kept playing basketball at school during lunch, nutrition or whatever. Because I still, like, I got to a point where I really didn't care that much about the seriousness of it. It was just something to do. And I didn't have friends like that in school. So my friends were the kids that played basketball. And lo and behold, like, next year, like, I'm playing basketball at lunch and nutrition or whatever. The boys' coach comes up to me and is like, are you doing tryouts this year for the girls' team? I was like, nah, nigga. Them coaches are ass. He was like, well, they got fired. I was like, of course they did. He was like, I'm coaching the girls' team this year if you want to come back. I was like, hell yeah, I'll pull up. So I pulled up for, like, some practices. And then I switched schools and went to a music academy. That's so sweet. Oh, yeah. You played basketball in high school? Yeah, yeah. Yeah? That sounds similar to my story. It's like getting stripped out of sports and then getting positioned to make music. Yeah. Was your first goal making the NBA? Or was your, like, as a kid, were you like? I was football and basketball, so I used to play running back. But I took more liking towards basketball. Yeah. Loved Kobe and loved Kobe. That was, like, my guy, so. You a Grizzlies fan? I'm actually a Laker. I'm a Kobe fan, for real. Nice. I was a Laker, but I don't really got no team. I ain't got no team. You ain't got no team? Nah, I just enjoy the sport. That's the same thing I be trying to tell them. It gets too intense when you start doing the team shit, too. I love players. If you from L.A., though. It's different. That's what I'm saying. If you're from L.A. Especially, like. I grew up in Chicago during the Jordan era, y'all. What do you mean? Your dad didn't like Michael Jordan, though. Chill, brother. Yo, you don't get it? You need this story over here. You should understand. No, okay, well. Why your dad didn't like Michael, though? Y'all. Why your dad didn't like Michael Jordan? My dad was. I come from an aggressively pro-black home. My dad felt like the Bulls organization used to pick, like, mediocre white guys over, like, decent black players. So he made us all root for the Knicks because it was an all-black team. It was an all-black team. So, nigga, we just grew up being like, the Knicks! I cried when Patrick, you and Mr. Lane left Chicago. I was like, why am I going to? I grew up. I ain't gonna lie. I grew up and hated that nigga for it. Because I was like, I could have been celebrating a whole bunch of the kids. We lived on the West Side by the United Center. I could have been, like, cheering with everybody else outside. She was good. We enjoyed it. I mean, I was pissed the fuck off. In some Adidas shit. Yes. He wasn't like, um. Doug Bushler. He drew the line at. With the, uh, what was it? The governor? Which one? Um, it was, uh, they had, it was this thing where, um, they wanted Michael to vote a mayor, vote a mayor in. Oh, they want him to be political. Yeah. I think it was. Oh, which one was that? Was it for Harold Washington? I can't remember. After Harold Washington. When he wanted to be political, he was like, I ain't with all that shit. Yeah, I was like, I was gonna play. I was like, I thought that's why your dad didn't vote for him. Oh, nah, nah. It wasn't that? I think he was just hating him. But they were probably nailing the coffin for sure. Yeah. I think they're probably. Growing up during that, like, growing up during the Kobe, uh, era, and playing basketball in L.A. Yeah, he was the greatest. It was crazy. It was crazy. Kobe. I rooted for Kobe and them. I was a big Shaq fan. I followed him wherever he went. And then, uh, yeah. I mean, I loved Kobe until Shaq told me we'd not like Kobe no more. I stopped. I was like, tell me how my ass tastes. It was like. Got it, James. Yeah. Um, Sid, your album came out July 17th? Yes. Yes. I remember that. I don't remember motherfuckers' birthday. I don't remember that for some reason. Yes, let's see. Congratulations, first and foremost. I'm very proud of you. My favorite song is Jasmine 17. Wow. Yeah. That's surprising. Really love that song. Does it feel different putting out music now versus when you first put out music? I'm gonna go to you on that, too, but. Yeah, for sure. What is the biggest difference between now and then? Is it just getting over the hump of putting out your first shit, or is it, like, expectations are different now for what you want and how you want your music to be received? Yeah. Oh. Um, I'd say, like, now I feel like I just. Before, I felt like I was putting out music halfway for, like, a means to an end. Like, I want to buy a house. Mm-hmm. So, now that I have a house, I'm chillin'. I put the album out, and I looked around. I was like, yeah, if my life didn't change after this album dropped, that's fine. I really like my life right now. You found peace in your success. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Real gratitude. Yeah. Yeah. And it feels like abundance. You know, when they say, like, abundance, abundance. You know? It's like when you feel like. Like, okay, like, I put it out. Great. Then it's also about, like, just keep working it and keep trusting it, too. Yeah. Sometimes I think we. I always look at, like, releasing songs and, like, albums as, like, making it to the NBA. Like, you can't be the first-round draft pick and then just be like, all right, I'm done. Yeah. Like, it's really a. It's really a journey to work a song nowadays, and it takes a lot of time. If it's something that you're trying to experiment with, for sure. But if it's. I've been away from my, like, core fan base a little bit because I had to make sure, like, I was, like, the Lord is pleased with me. Like, if I'm releasing certain music that's not in reflection of, like, the word, I think it was kind of, like, causing a cognitive, like, dissonance. And I think, like, that's, like, where he's been breaking me out. He was, like, pretty much what I receive is that, like, you know, that's not something that's, like, you know, art isn't to be judged. Like, art is only to be made. Yeah. You know, God created darkness. I was, like, running from, like, the dark aspect of me instead of, like, just creating it and putting it out with no, like. No guilt behind it. Like, hey, bro, like, you know, I killed y'all in the booth. Like, I killed you in the booth so I could stay free here. Like, but what do you do with it? You just trash it or you put it out? Nah, I'm going to put it out. Yeah. They're going to judge you for this. They're going to say, oh, he's just woo, woo, woo. He's supposed to be this. Nah, I think I'm pleased. When I'm receiving, I'm pleased. Like, he's pleased with me. You know, I think that's been, like, the toughest thing of, like, releasing then and now. But now I'm breaking out of that mindset where I'm like, you know, man, look, here, bro. Whatever y'all feel about it, feel it. Yeah. But, you know, this don't define me. Yeah. But this is my art. Has that changed your creative process? Like, in trying to make sure that, I guess, the music that you're putting out or creating is pleasing God in that way? Yeah. I think it made me a lot more intentional. And, um. I think it's always shown me. I think it's also been showing me that, um. He's showing me, like, uh. Like, back then, it was, like, Michael. And, um. But now he's showing me that, um. We're in a different generation. It's like a different covenant to where it's, like, what some kids see as the superheroes back then. So it's, like. Of course. Like, they want someone that looks more. cooler to receive a message from. So it's like, what I realized was that like, you know, me being NLE Choppa isn't a demonic thing. I think me being NLE Choppa is like the bait. It's like the real people in to Bryson. And I think once I started looking at how he placed me and positioned me, I started to realize like, "Oh, I'm okay. I'm fine with doing this." You know what I'm saying? Now, still living it is different, but if I'm artistically in a space creating something that I feel like, "I don't like that. You sure about this?" Like being that uncomfortable creating, I'm back being that uncomfortable to where it's like- Makes the best art. I'm judging myself and I'm like, "Fuck it." I think that's how you- Fuck it. That's how you learn yourself or learn to accept yourself. Yes. Something I realized with this release too, because I'm also, you know, I'm in my thirties. I started dropping music when I was 19, I guess. And it's taken a long time to, I feel like we talk about like finding ourselves, right? We've all experienced that process of trying to find out, find who we are, figure out who we are. And then I got to a point where I was like, "Oh," like I always knew who I was. It was just, I thought I was looking for it. I was just trying to accept it. Yeah. You know? And, and it's a never ending process. Yeah. You know, I think we all feel like sometimes like we feel like, "Okay, I made it. Woo. Done with that." Next. Saturn return is over. And it's like, yeah, enjoy that. You know, like just enjoy, just, just be, that's what presence is about. It's just like, you're, you're, you're basking in this. Go, yeah. Keep basking in this. Everything- Stay consistent. Ebb and flow. Yeah. Everything is ebb and flow. But, um, yeah, just trying to, trying to stay positive, trying to keep your head above water. I appreciate both of y'all vulnerabilities just- Yeah. That was amazing. Yeah. That was a great thing. I mean, I think that that's, it's very important. Number one, especially amongst us as black people, we're not always told to be vulnerable, that we should be, or that we can't. To be able to use it within your art, obviously it amplifies. I always, uh, whenever I listen to shit, I get like, not jealous, but like, I listen to some shit and be like, "Man, this person's killing it because they being more vulnerable than the next nigga." Yeah. It's a pure conversation that way. So I appreciate both of you even being here having these- I'm so tuned to vulnerability. I just want to say something real fast. This is just something I recently, um, discovered within my life and it's just kind of been like, it's really helping me a lot because I think I became desensitized. Um, I've seen the most traumatic stuff on every scale, I feel like. And I think I, um- I think I've been through a lot of things. I think I've been through a lot of things. example of them just slapping DEI on anything. It's raw. And I'm sitting here. going they are playing y'all for fools catch roland martin's daily commentary on the black information network and download roland martin unfiltered on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts