Nintendo Cartoon Hour

I feel like I was dedicated to Seth's level when I was in London because I was doing pods at like 1 a.m., but he's kind of showing us all up. So Seth is landing at an airport and then making his way to a house and then going to immediately get on this pod any second whenever he lands. I mean, lands at his house. The airplane has landed. People use that as slang, like, oh, when's Seth landing? Meaning, like, when's he arriving? They say it at his show all the time. I'm sure Shoemaker says it all the time. Yeah, Shoemaker's like, Seth landed. Seth landing. And then he just, he doesn't even read anything. He just reads it cold. Don't look in his fucking eyes or you're fired. Am I done yet? Oh, I gotta go to Martha's Vineyard. Nobody comment on his fucking shirt or you're fucking gone. Seth's almost here. He's, Seth's landed. Oh my God, he's so pissed. He had too many daiquiris at the World Cup. POTUS is landing. He's fucking pissed. Oh, shit. My Spanish teacher was, I think, unimpressed with my Spanish last week, Keith. That's right. I have a Spanish teacher. A current one? Yeah, dog. I take Spanish. Wow, you're trying to better yourself? Yeah. At this age? Yeah, I'm always trying to better. Like, you can teach an old dog new tricks till the cows come home, as they say. I love that movie, Old Dogs. It's all about that. Yeah, that's right. And Wild Hogs, too. Same thing. Yeah. Old Dogs, Wild Hogs. That's what this. So, we could either do, we'll kill you. Sure. Or I texted into our little group chat the Nintendo Cartoon Hour I thought could be fun. Yo, bro, I don't check that text chain. Yeah, I noticed when you were 15 minutes late and I was sitting here after I had rushed through dinner with my family. He said 9.50. And I texted you. I love that this pot has just been complaining about you. And I texted you eight minutes before nine going, are you going to be on time? And instead, I sat down to dinner. I ate for five minutes when I'm so sorry, I got to get upstairs. And then sat here talking to Jeff and Kevin for 15 minutes. Did I ever say that nine was going to work? Yes. Six o'clock, nine o'clock was said over and over. Okay, but then Seth said 9.15. So, you know, I moved the. No. I was like, that'll move the chain. He said, I'll join you guys when I get in. And I said, okay, so Yorm, are you still set for nine or do you need more time? And what did I respond to? Made it as easy as it could be. And what did I say? Nothing. There you go. Nothing. Exactly. It's rude to my time. Okay, can I go to bat for Andy, though, real quick? Oh, for Andy. Yeah, he is right. Like, I mean, it's so boring to hear about a guy complain about when we're going to do the pod. But he was right. Last week was crazy. And this week, equally so. Which is sort of like. Well, this week, he just said he couldn't do it from the jump. I like to say that we're free balling this pod. You know what I mean? That is something you're saying. We all applaud you for it. We go, wow. How cool to use that slang. Oh, that archaic slang. That new slang. But apply it to this? Does that even work? Oh, my God. What was. I'm raw-dogging the pod right now. What does that mean? It means I'm not looking at my phone. I'm not secretly watching, like, the Dodger game or something on another TV. I'm just raw-dogging it. Fully focused. You're mentally raw-dogging this pod. Yeah, just. It's rough. I'm just raw-dogging it right now. But, you guys, it's hard nowadays to not raw-dog anything. I mean. I'm watching, you know, I'm watching fucking Widow's Bay while playing Link, Tears of the Kingdom. That's how it was meant to be watched. Hey, when that creepy clown is crawling at you, you're not even knowing. I'm like, yo, that's interesting to me. That would be cool, but you know what? I just got another big old chest in it. There was a. Okay, let's talk about this for a second. You put so much fucking time and energy, like, they color-corrected that shit on probably a gigantic screen. Really caring about every moment. I think they should show on film. No way. It looks beautiful. Did Hero do that? I think he did the first two episodes. Yeah, it's really well done. So well done. But you know what? Tears of the Kingdom. Simultaneously. Thousands of artists worked tirelessly for a decade to create that. Who worked harder? I don't know about thousands, but certainly hundreds. Tears of the Kingdom ultimately was a bigger project. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. More people put their time into it. So you're saying I'm just honoring more people. I go with quantity over quality. No, or quality. I mean, you're just. Quality over quality. You're honoring the work, but when forced with a Sophie's Choice, they're both going to be on at the same time. That's a given. Yeah. You can't do one than the other. So where's your eyeball going to be? Can I compliment Andy again? Yeah, please. The Barney I thought was pretty good. I knew he was going to do it. Of course. Many of the opt-ons, it was just like fucking griping. I was like, ah, here comes Barney. I'm looking up what camera they shot. Okay, I'm going to say my favorite Barney line, too, which is. Da-da-da-da-da-da! Epic! Epic! And then he's like, that was non-alcoholic champagne. Look it up, guys. It's the astronaut episode of The Simpsons. You also inadvertently quoted my favorite line of Kevin Costner in Robin Hood, Prince of Phoenix. Oh, when he says, do-ba-do-do-ba-do? No. It begins. The other half. The latter part of it. Oh, sorry to trigger you and say latter. It was the other spelling. Thank you for how quick that was. Yeah, he says, either then it begins or so it begins. It's such a, like, tip of the cap. It's just. So it begins to the bad guy. That was fucking killer. Yeah, yeah. It says they ran. Oh, Christian Springer. We know him. Yeah. He shot Bruce B. Bear. Wait, did Christian shot fucking. Yeah. Oh, fuck. And he shot a lot of Last Man on Earth. Now, this is according to the fastest thing it pulled up on Google. It says he ran side-by-side camera tests matching Kodak 5219 film stock against the digital sensor, and that's what they copied, but it was shot on Alexa 35 and Alexa 65. Dude, they did a great job. That shit looks like film. It's great. Christian Springer, what have you shot with Christian? I don't know that I ever was the director, but when we did Brigsby Bear, he shot Brigsby Bear. Oh, that's right. So I was there on set. That's right. And then Last Man on Earth, I visited set a bunch, and he was there. He's a very good director of photography. And I shot one HBO promo thing with. God, it is so exciting to show up and just hear you guys talking about stuff I have no concept. We're just talking about a DP that we like. Yeah, he shot Widow's Bay. Just weird. And I want to hear more about it, but can I just say something real quick? First of all, I'm sorry I'm late, but I also want to say, Andy, buddy, I am so sorry. You made some excellent points on last week's episode, and I'm sure Keith and Jorm have already apologized to you, but I also wanted to give you my sincerest apologies for how we treated you last week, and I'm just glad because we were crystal clear on this week's schedule. To have all four of us together again. The minute that you go to bat for Seth is the minute that I want to rip on Andy. I was going to bat for him a couple times. I said nice things, but now I'm like, fuck that dude. Fuck it. Yeah. So he's not here. He's also not here. Okay. So he fully just didn't show up this week, too. Okay, cool. No. But here's what we really learned from his voice note. It doesn't matter what he said. It meant he listened to the pod. Which is good. Which is a huge win for us. Yeah. You know what? That's the win. He could say anything he wanted on there, and I was like, all I'm hearing is you listen to the pod. Yeah. And he did make it very clear in last week's rant that he wasn't going to be here this week, so. That's what I mean. Nobody can't even be mad about it. Well, he's honest, so I'll give him that. Were you guys talking about Widow's Bay and how rad that show is and how great it looks? It's so dope. Yeah. Jorn was really complimenting, but he was also saying that he just plays his Switch 2 with Zelda's Tears of the Kingdom on it at the same time, because he's. Well. He's always on second screen. Oh, double screen. Because he's Gen Alpha, so he's always. Yeah, but can I be honest, though? Double. Because I think last week it was revealed that this pod is a farce, and we just make things up on the fly when I throw to things that don't exist, such as Michael Jackson. I don't do that. You don't? It was a lie? I watch Widow's Bay, and I fucking pay attention. Got it. Wow. All right. Yeah. All right. Too spooky for me. It is very spooktacular. Is it too spooks? Oh, it's. No, I watch it. I watch it, but I made the mistake. I made the mistake of watching an episode without. I won't say a spoiler, but it was. I won't even say which episode it was, because I truly don't want to spoil it. Oh, we know it. But it was at, like, 11 o'clock in the dark, in bed. Hotel? The Inn? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and it just made me. And it was not that I was actually scared. It's just the lights are off, then I turn it off, then it's time for bed immediately after. And so you don't want that to be the last thing you see before you're trying to fall asleep. I did text Matthew Rhys, because we are pals-ish, because. So did I. So did I. Yeah, and? What did he say? Well, I had a great thing, which is I texted Matthew Rhys, but I accidentally sent it to Rhys Thomas. And? Did Rhys take the compliment nicely? He was like, thank you so much. No, Rhys was like. It took me a minute to figure that out, because I was congratulating Matthew on his. Both he and Carrie got Emmy nominated. And so Rhys Thomas wrote back and said, I have spent a long time looking at this text, and here's what I've managed to suss. You're trying to send this to Matthew Rhys. And I was like, that's absolutely right. But then Rhys Thomas was so excited I knew Matthew Rhys, because they both Welsh. Are they? Yeah. And so Rhys Thomas was like, when you text Matthew Rhys, will you tell him that his early success was the first time my parents thought you could actually leave Wales and be in show business? I mean, yeah. Can I say one of my favorite memories, and again, this is all just name-droppy shit, but we've already talked about both Carrie and Matthew. When Mari was casting him in Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, we went out to dinner with Carrie. and matthew and all got pretty sloppy which was great and i was like we're in the americans yeah yeah so excited they're the best but you texted him i cut you off you texted matthew i did he was very uh he was very happy you know i mean the whole world has been like you're amazing then i was like i also think you're amazing so good though i mean he's so funny in real life and he's played such serious people he's really funny he's really i mean that show is so half and half it's like so funny yeah and just like joke joke like real big swing dumb comedy and then terrifying just absolutely first of all i'm very happy for a former snl writer and incredible improviser neil casey who's involved with that show got a part on that show as the innkeeper he's so wonderful it was great to have a reason to reach out to him and tell him how rad that show is i also we had steve and root on my show and uh of course steven root also so wonderful and barry news radio guy's been at it forever office space he's so good oh fucking office space he just just completely becomes a different character he's like a totally different person i like the fact that i don't remember him from all of the space but like massively funny guy but here's the craziest thing it was the first time he'd ever been on a talk show a late night talk show how is that possible isn't that crazy yeah that doesn't make any really it had to be by by choice right i just maybe think he was i don't know in that weird like third or second lead for a long time you know he's there's never been a steven root show per se he's just been a assassin from the three-point line you know yeah he's been good forever yeah but anyway and we had another one this year who had also never done one which was vincent d'onofrio oh that's crazy josh and i had him on family trips and at the very end he mentioned he'd never been on a talk show and he'd been so great for an hour at family trips and then he said yeah it probably wouldn't be good and we booked him immediately he's also kingpin in daredevil he's great in that and he was great he was genuinely a great but he also talked about doing a full metal jacket and watching how hard kubrick was on actors and he sat once in like video village with kubrick while an actor did 50 the same scene 50 times and i said kubrick was being hard on him right he probably got it earlier and d'onofrio went no wow he needed all 50 he's like the best one the best one was the last one oh my god keith what's the max you've done takes wise of like abusing an actor as a director oh never on purpose but when we really haven't found a thing have you passed 20 yeah probably they were with joke with joke alts not with this over and over right but it was painful because it was when none of them i think are working where am i like nope nope nope and then like uh now try it this way nope uh how about if it's this nope and then the actor can tell it's not that it's because we're all laughing like oh my god that's so funny what if you do this and then it's like oh and it's like that was the most fun half hour we did 50 jokes it's more like yeah they start knowing like oh we don't have any and that's why it's still going on which is way worse those are rough i mean it's when you want a ringer i've definitely done it before where you're like shooting everybody else you spend all the time and then you have one person that you're like oh i'm gonna do this and then you're like oh i'm gonna do this and then you're like ringer run series which just means saying like a series of lines you go through like the entire scene i'd hate working like this but like give me five different versions of this line move to the next line but oftentimes you get shafted in the industry right now because do more with less time yep but having a ringer you're just like and great that person is fucking killer yeah i cannot imagine being an actor who has a dramatic scene and the director does not feel like you are the emotional weight or truth to it and just having to do it over and over again must be just yeah like kubrick style yeah that's what we're just yeah like shelly long like just being driven into actual madness what was shelly long's madness uh uh that was in in the shining yeah i think he was just making her do like 80 takes to where she would like lose everything i'm kind of a kubrick head here and so i don't want to like pull like history rank on you guys but it's definitely shelly duvall oh what did oh i'm that's what i meant we know each other so well i was hearing shelly duvall yes no i know you mean from cheers and outrageous fortune is that the shelly and seth i had met shelly long oh yeah you were talking i'm like was there is there some troop beverly hills story i don't know about like here's the thing for a guy who's in hollywood i don't know a whole lot about hollywood real burrito brain on shelly long for shelly oh i wish it was that yet i just knew it who he was talking about guys here's a question that i saw in our list of questions that can just be answered yeah and so i'm gonna ask it it's from lynn hi guys i have two boys 10 and 12 we recently introduced him some lonely island songs uh the family loves threw it on the ground but we always argue about a certain lyric in the part where someone offers him the latest energy drink are the lyrics pump that garbage in another man's face or pump that garbage in another man's veins yorm veins that's right thank you so much for the question that's a great question ding ding yorm got it right thanks the apple music lyrics say that the word is face but that's not what it sounds like when andy's singing so we settled that well i guess apple's going down the tubes right yeah about time probably some ai bullshit there were i had a few little notes before i talked about swimming you know my swim in a mile and not really swim in a mile and um a british uh what do we call uh quumpets quumpets the quids right um the quits there it is uh one of the quits said that they did it but then i've had this issue before on late night in corrections where um the brits call a buoy a boy it's pronounced boy what and i i just feel that's so jarring because if you're talking about you know again like that bobbing boy in the middle of the ocean are you but do they actually say boy or is it like an accent thing like they're saying i think maybe you'd like flavor flavor you think they're like boy yeah yeah that's what i meant what if a boy is jarring to you drowning near a buoy and they're trying to that's the exact point i made on corrections yeah it's a real problem yeah i guess they call it a lad they never say boy right that lad's right near the boy you know what i blame brexit brexit you think this is a brexit issue yeah this is a brexit thing do you know about jimothy the raccoon has that crossed you're not working on late night meme seth it's kind of a meme yeah cool there's a raccoon called jimothy but somebody did just equate said what if jimothy is an elf oh i just like that they can he does kind of look like an i'm gonna look at them all up right now i'll be the judge so seth yeah for an actual content of this episode just yeah me and yorm are saying that there's two choices there's nintendo cartoon hour which is something we made before the boo for channel 101 yeah when it was a monthly challenge but before it was episodes of a tv show yep so it's one of our early earliest and we did that once before with the three of us and i thought that could be fun and maybe we save we'll kill you for a time when it's not going to happen but i think it's going to be fun and i think it's going to be fun when we get stuck just me and yorm okay but those were the two well kiwi's the third just two guys i did watch nintendo hour then i think it's really fun and would love to talk about it okay great but i don't want to just rush into it because no no i just wanted to give a little bit of um promise to the people that you know don't enjoy that we ramble for 30 minutes oh this was a way to build in that there was a well at this point hopefully now that we've decided it's the title of the episode but i don't want to rush by the fact that christopher nolan was on the view you are i mean name drop mcgruber oh yeah it got re-brought up it's so nice that he's serious yeah i mean like i've obviously heard how much he likes it but what does he hear it coming out of his actual mouth and i've talked about this on the pod before he sent a very nice email for the table read of the tv show about how we were embarking on something truly magical and special like whatever it was so funny but to hear it out of his mouth wonderful well also and i highly recommend we'll put in the notes but it's so lovely that in the sort of basking glow of the odyssey he takes time to say with authenticity how hard comedy is yeah yeah a guy who just made a movie that looked harder to make than any movie in recent history and you can tell he's genuinely just so impressed by the craft of comedy i will say this when kivi when you were talking about that moment where you're on set and you're with an actor and they know it's not working and you're working on a joke that's a fucking painful moment i feel like with drama you can kind of be like well i'm feeling it and like maybe that's working maybe that's not but like when nobody's laughing you know it's not working or you can trust the script in a drama like just go if you just say the lines and there's music i know when i read the script that the story is so compelling we're going to be fine whereas in a comedy you're like so you're saying we're geniuses yeah of us on this pot of geniuses i would constantly on nick again be like i'm no chris nolan but on naked gun i'm chris nolan so that's maybe a confusing way of saying it yeah i'm no chris nolan but here on this piece of shit i'm chris nolan uh seth here's a question from monifa hi well leon and seth i recently saw seth had taylor swift on the show and they got a picture together yeah a comment on the post made me notice that although taylor was wearing at least three inch heels giant seth was still standing taller yeah google says taylor's 510 seth is 511 so i was hoping you could clear the air and let us know who's lying about their height Okay, Seth, put it out there. Classic forced perspective. I was just like a foot away from the camera. She was about 25 feet behind me. Got it. So it was kind of like those scenes in the second Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Their bogus journey, so to speak, where they just did those forced perspective sets. Or in Elf, where they made Bob Newhart look small. Now, what room is that that you guys have that shrinks as it gets further away? So it looks like the ceiling's the same. Expensive, but worth it. As far as budget, like the money we spent that I wish we could have back for something else, we did spend too much on our forced perspective room. Right. Because we've only used it the one time. This is the first thing you asked for, right? Like, look, if I'm going to do this show, I got to look at least two inches taller. Somebody, I will say, I read that comment too, Keev, and they're trying to bust me on lying about being 5'11". I will tell you that I'm six feet tall. And if I get any. I was about to say, I thought you were taller than 5'11". I'm six feet tall. I've seen that photo. I'm also a little shocked at how it looks like we're the same height. I mean, she's very tall and she was wearing very high heels. I don't quite know. Maybe she's doing it like a courtesy slouch on my behalf. But the thing I hear the most when I'm out in the world is people say that I am taller than they thought I was, which I think is just a side effect of the fact that I do most of my television I've done sitting. Right. You do your monologue sitting. I mean, I sat my way through SNL and now I'm sitting my way through late night. That's actually why I sit down on the train, is I don't want to unnerve people with how tall I am. That's really. Respectful. You're a sweetheart. Thank you. You're a sweetheart. We were talking on a text, Jane. I do want to say that it wasn't getting a lot of traction, but there was some support for the idea of doing a version of the Odyssey with MacGruber. As Odysseus? Yeah. Or a dude who knows Odysseus and is now trying to prove he can do it better. Fuck me in. I mean, I do. I'm just trying to get there, man. always love a main character. I don't know what I'm doing. Come with me, please. Do you think we should go back to Sparta? I don't know what happens in the Odyssey. No, I haven't seen it yet, too. I should clarify. Definitely a lot of MacGruber maybe getting a boner inside the Trojan horse. There's room for 10 men, not 10 men in my boner. It's too small in here. Perfect MacGruber. Somebody wrote, and this is, again, I feel like a classic Pyrrhic victory for Andy after his rants last week. I feel like I should stop listening to the pod in support of Andy. So I like that that's what he's helping. That's what he's leading people to. That's definitely the lesson you should learn. It's too hard to schedule, so stop listening. Now, Seth, do you ever do the New Yorker mini crossword puzzle? I don't. I can't believe it's true. I read this, too. Is it really true? Well, we can put it to the quids and see if we're being tricked or not. So John sent a screenshot. There's no date on it, I don't think. From the Thursday mini crossword, a Thursday, the 25 across, the clue is, word after BTS for fans of BTS or Quaid for fans of the Seth Meyers podcast. Wait, is that real? The answer was army, army, BTS army. Quaid army. This is so dope. I'm so, you know what? Do listen to the pod, regardless of how it is. I think it's real. I mean, this looks legit. It would be a lot of trouble. I don't want to suffer John here to lie to us about this. I mean, a very similar 300, right? That's the movie. Yeah. The Gerard Butler, Zack Snyder directed film. The difference in the size of the armies in that movie is the difference between Quaid army and the BTS army. Yeah, but who wins, you know? David or Goliath. I mean, I do think we're the, you know, we're Sparta in that one. Yeah, underdogs. I enjoyed this. I Googled, while you were looking, Keev, New Yorker crossword mini Quaid army. And the first result was New York mini crossword puzzles and then a lot of word. And you know how it's sometimes a Google search, it says which words are missing? Yeah. In my search. It just said missing Quaid army. Yeah, thank you. We need the date. We need the official date so we can go back and look at it. But if, while we are focusing all our attention on New York Times trying to winter soldier us, I mean, the New Yorker sneak attack around the back. Someone says it's from April, but that means it's real. Yeah. Oh, like that. The note was from April that he wrote to us. But that still means it's real. Yeah. And the reason we don't remember, because it triggered all of us into our sleeper cell. It woke up our sleeper cells. How would we remember? I probably killed so many people that night. It was just a day we woke up with bruises and disoriented. And we were like, we don't know what the hell. I told my story about telling that punk kid at Fanatics Fest that I wouldn't take a picture with him. Yeah. More than one person said that I sounded, the kid sounded like a young millennial. And then I also sounded like Mulaney telling the story. Two millennials. Yeah, what is that sound? It's kind of snot-nosed. I think it's like, hey, man. Hey, mister. Yeah, that's snot-nosed and entitled. And then me being like, and then I said no. I think that's a real, yeah, that was a real one. He said, one black coffee. Somebody wrote, apparently based on, again, Andy's rants last week, apparently I am the Andy of my mom group. I just, I don't know. Just everything about that made me happy. I'd like to hear more about what they're trying to schedule for that person. Do you think Lin's mom put the hyphen between Lin and Manuel because she was worried people would think he was Superman? Oh, yes. Let's get Lin's mom to get on the pod. All right, so it's official. I've got the mini crossword, April 30th. It literally says, word after BTS for fans of BTS or Quaid. You know why that's fine? It's because BTS Army's so famous, they were like, this is just funny to give a second reason that will just be a joke. I mean, shout out. I'm sorry we didn't look earlier, you know? I mean, shout out to Kate Chin Park. Yeah, three months, we're like three or four months late, but that's, you know, respect. I mean, just know that that is. We get there, you guys. We eventually get. Thanks, Caitlin. I mean, I'm. That was great. I also said this year's World Cup was, the first time two Spanish countries played in the World Cup. A bunch of people pointed out the very first World Cup was actually that. And whoever told me that news was lying. Yeah, but you count differently, right? Like, that's a zero and then one. I also don't know if, like, back then they spoke Spanish. He does start at zero. It's like how in Korea, when you're born, you're one. Because they, like, count in utero. Like, so you're one when you're born. Exactly. It's the reverse of that. And you always go like, yeah, but that was World Cup zero. Got it. Yeah, I didn't count. That was a gimme. Hey, I have a question here for Jorm from Elizabeth. Oh, great. Thanks, Hugh. To my fearless Quaid Army leaders, super important and time-sensitive question. Of course, I don't have a date on this. From a longtime and loyal member of the Quaid Army. What's Jorma's go-to order at Buddy's Burrito? My husband, a longtime and loyal Quaid, is also seeking out this potentially life-changing intel. Thank you for your service to this country and to comedy. Forever hoping to be Burrito Brain. Well, as a true friend. As a true patriot. Yeah. It's so boring. This is the most boring answer, but I get the Brooklyn Burrito. But I make sure don't get it with lettuce ever. Like, I don't think that one comes with lettuce, but never get a burrito with lettuce as a just general rule of thumb. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. And then when you came on my show, you brought me one, and it was ice cold. Yeah. You cut out one part, which I'm still a little upset with, because I also slowed down the show significantly. I wanted to hand Wally a burrito, too, which is why I brought out a fanny pack, an orange fanny pack, which you can see in the footage, but I then interrupted you to unzip it and give Wally a burrito. Got cut out for time. Somebody pitched a new way to say put it in the show notes, which is notum in the scrotum. I just got that wrong. It's nasty. Somebody wrote this, and now I can't remember what the demo was, and if I'm missing something, but they said, when Lynn sings I Am Moana at the end of the demo, what song is he referencing? The song is called I Am Moana. Yeah, that's why I'm wondering if I'm missing something. Are they doing like a, what's that song where Santa gets run over by the reindeer again? Is that a reference? A deep hot rod reference? It is. Sometimes I just like the way they sound when you say them out loud. Yeah. All right. Nintendo fun time dudes? Yeah, let me look it up. I was just trying to think of things that Andy wasn't. Well, this one requires a little bit of blast from the past, time machine stuff. Oh, there's a thing called, real quick, sorry. It was pitched that you would enjoy your frozen dead guy days, which is coffin races in Estes Park, Colorado. Oh. Yeah. Well, I think a lot of people would probably enjoy that. Sorry. Is that like coffin flop, but with races? I think it's like your toilet race. I think it's that with coffins. But they do it with real dead bodies, I assume, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Real dead bodies. And they're being chased, the races. They're being chased. Now, is it days like D-A-Y-S or days like, I'm in a daze? D-A-Y-Z. Sorry, D-A-Y-S. Sorry, yeah. D-A-Y-S. Normal. Normal days. Normal days. Normal days. Well, can we suggest that you change the name to a Z? Yeah. Or just start a rival one. Coffin days. Yeah. That's cool. I'll check that out. Do you guys want to hear Greg's intro before we go into it? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So Greg sent a new, is it an intro for the, what's it an intro to? What are we introducing? It's just the episode intro. All right. Got it. Thanks, Jeff. It's always great to get Jeff on the podcast. to fill in it's a good reminder when we're like hey we could we could replace andy and then you get jeff on and you realize you nope so mean i said you're the master at starting off sounding like it's a compliment and then it just nosedives immediately yeah he's very good yeah i by the way jeff i don't even think when i started i knew i was gonna burn you yeah i know yeah i think i knew i felt so authentically like i was complimenting you that i really it's like he's talking the fucking knife is coming out yeah just a gear it'd be more fun to uh all right well here's the fucking intro k-tel presents the lonely island sung by arnold schwarzenegger i don't sleep motherfucker on the neck of the bourbon doing 120 getting held while i'm smurfing damn arnold you're a crazy guy you shut the fuck up before i nut in your eye volume one gives you all of their greatest hits it's my dick in a box is my dick in a box akiva schaffer says this is the way i always envision these songs would be some poser hands me cake at the birthday party what do you want me to do with this eat it happy birthday to the crowd i threw the rest of the cake too and you'll also get fan favorites like russ trend don't miss this one-of-a-kind opportunity here's how to order send cash check or stront gift card to p.o box one one four seven six los angeles california nine double zero three six offer only available to members of the quaid army oh it's a little bit of a bummer that the funniest part of our show our jingle master the one person really trying do you think that was his a real p.o box for him i hope so yeah he threw in a p.o box i'm assuming it's real stront gift cards someone wants to send him a gift card i'm gonna send him a gift card i'm gonna send him a gift card i'm gonna Cheesecake Factory over to Greg Chen. Yeah. I really hope he gets more jobs off of this pod. He deserves it. Yeah, my God, that was great. Let it bing, ding, ding, ding, bong! Jesus. I also like that the real Arnold Schwarzenegger was kind enough to give us a tag, and then we've just dragged him through the mud. He's not going to check this. No, he's not. Also, we're celebrating him. I don't know what you're talking about. We are celebrating. I want to make it clear. We're all gigantic fans. I've got to bada-ding, ding, ding, ding. Bada-ding, ding. All right, that was great. All right, so Nintendo Cartoon Hour. This post is from 20 years ago, but that's not true. It's older. Well, explain how this came about, Keith. So we've told part of the story of Channel 101 in those early episodes, but we'll just tell it again because it's been over 100 episodes. But basically, we moved to L.A. We were all assistants. We finally got agents. Our agents introduced us to the only people they introduced us to almost that whole first year was Dan Harmon and Rob Schreiber. Dan went on later to create the TV show Community and then co-create Rick and Morty. Oh, shit, he did Rick and Morty? And then Rob Schreiber also worked on Community a ton, and he's one of the most creative people I've ever met. But he did not create Rick and Morty, but he's very creative. And so these guys had this community of people that we've talked about that did this thing called Channel 101, which was just a way the Internet existed, but not like today, where it was a bunch of people get together at some bar once a month and show each other five-minute creations they've made. As a way to kind of incentivize and encourage each other to stay creative while you're facing the many no's you get as a young person trying to get writing jobs in Hollywood. And that was honestly kind of the one and only because it was, I think, our agent was almost exactly our age and had no clients except for them and then also had us. And so we went out and we got wings, hot wings and beer, and immediately knew that they were doing something that was very up our alley. And one of the first ones they introduced us to, pre-Channel 101, was they would just do a theme. And the one we missed was Batman, where everyone had to do whatever their version of a Batman movie is for five minutes. And then the week or month we got to join was do Saturday morning cartoon, whatever that means to you. Saturday morning television. So it could be a live-action Pee Wee's Playhouse style thing or a cartoon or anything. And we wanted to be a part of this, but had no kind of clue how to pull something like that off with nothing. We had just broken our apartment. And we had a Nintendo NES that someone had given me and we had played the shit out of it because it's all we had. And we had a Hi8 camera, which is kind of a lost, cursed version of cameras because it wasn't VHS or beta, like the big tapes. And it wasn't yet mini DV, which were really expensive still. It was kind of what home camcorders would be on, which was a tape basically the size of a cassette, an audio cassette tape. Do you remember those, Seth? Were they that big? They're like kind of in between. And that was our camera. I shot my SNL audition on one of those and then had to go transfer it to VHS at a Kinko's. That's exactly right. I think we shot Andy's audition when we were just rehearsing it on this. So we had this one little camera that like any of those really early videos that you've seen that look really bad from our apartment are shot on that camera. Wait, what was the XL1? The XL1 was on those tapes? Or it was on a little. Our friend Graham owned XL1. That was a Canon camera. That was like the first really good, mini DV camera that like I used in film school and stuff. Yeah, yeah, I gotcha. And that's what we borrowed for like Football Town. That's why it looks better. Anyways, we realized it had inputs like the little RCA plugs and you could actually record TV onto the little tape or whatever, anything you could play out onto RCA cords, which is what an old Nintendo or an old DVD or an old VHS had. So we realized we could play Nintendo on the teeny little screen on this camera if we wanted. And we realized, oh, we could just play the games. We have. And then without knowing what the, I'm putting in quotes, story would be, we would just get a bunch of footage from these games and then import it into the computer. And then we could do, use our mic and just create something kind of, what do you say? Like just kind of the flow, stream of consciousness. Yeah, I feel like we were making this up as we went along. Just like with VO. There's also some cutting and pasting and graphic work. Yes, yes. Once we had the footage in there, then we were like, we were in Final Cut Pro like one or two, one of the first iterations. Zero, right? This is before it started. Yeah, this is a gimme. Well, the third, Final Cut 2 is actually, some people call it the third because the first was Final Cut Zero. They called it Final Cut Gimme. Yeah, it was Final Cut Gimme. Then there was Final Cut 1. It was called First Cut. Yeah. A lot of people call that beta, but do you think they called it World Cup Beta now that I'm remembering? Now that you finally remember. Finally 1.0 came out. Wait, so Keev, did we, did we mat this? Like we're looking, what we're looking at is the very beginning of this. Yeah, we would use like really, I don't know how we were even figuring it out, but so what we would do is we would do a still frame. So it just became a JPEG. Yeah. And then we probably would go into Photoshop and just cut it out and then bring in the JPEG. Or in there with the JPEG, I think we would just use like a garbage mat kind of thing and just try to cut it out. This looks too complicated to do with garbage mat though. But yeah, maybe. Yeah, and some of them are moving. So we were doing some version of animation on some of them. Yeah. I have no idea how. I don't remember. But anyways, so that's what it was. Yeah. And then again, stream of consciousness, we would be like, oh, let's start with Kung Fu. What does he sound like? Well, he's just standing there. What does it look like? Like, oh, how about he's on like a beach? And then we had sound effects too. So we would just be like, all right, what is, how does that feel? And we would just start putting it in. And we're like, what can he do? He can look left. He can look right. He can duck down. He can move his feet. And so. And just the two of you here? Or is Andy involved as well? I feel like this was just me and Keith. Yeah. For some reason, Andy was not. Yeah. I mean, the animation stuff kind of always slanted that way. Like me and Keith were a little bit more into it. Yeah, we did dorks. This is definitely nerdy. Animation was what podcast is for him now. He was like, I don't want to do animation. Well, it takes a lot of time and energy. It was a pain in the ass. I mean, like. He was just never the editor type. Yeah. Period. He kept being like, I just want to go see Lord of the Rings. And we'd be like, all right, dork. Well, but hey, by the way, though, like for this first image, what is. What is this game? Like, I don't. This was, I think it was called Aerobics Dance Challenge, but that's it. Why didn't we have that? Kevin, will you Google NES aerobics games? I'm telling you, we had gotten tons of stuff for free. It might as well be the Body Fusion game. That looks like they adopted. It really does. Yeah. And by for free, I don't mean like someone had given it to us as like free product. I mean, like it was so out of date and obsolete that somebody had given it to us because they're like, I'm going to throw this away. By the way, if anyone's throwing away their NES, I would love it, too. Oh, speaking of, did you mention what you got in the mail from your old friend, Seth? Oh, man. Seth jumped on when I mentioned that I loved the Bash Brothers poster, which is them in the Coliseum standing on it. It's like a Blues Brothers send up or ode to, I guess. Yeah. It's combining two of the great things in our lives. Oh, my God. And it's them on an Oakland police officer's car. It's like a old squad car. In the middle of the Coliseum. The perfect old squad car. But they're dressed like the Blues Brothers. Yeah. And I mentioned it. On the pod. And then my buddy, Seth, immediately bought it somewhere and sent it to me. And thank you, Seth. You got to frame that. That's awesome. I wanted to make sure I got an old one because some people are like, you know, doing prints of it. Oh, my favorite part of it, Seth, is that it has the pins that someone used to push into their wall in the 80s. Not just the pin holes. It came with the pins. I wish it came with the pins. It didn't come with the pins. I'll get you the pins. Thanks, man. Kevin confirms it was called NES Dance Aerobics and it was 1989. I don't know if 1989 was part of the title or what. It's so funny. Whenever anybody, you younger Quades who are listening, you're like, what was 1989 like? people thought kids wanted to play aerobics games. It was called, like, a family, you know, entertainment system. But it looks like a game that would have been played on the power pad, right? Like, doesn't it? Oh, maybe, yeah. Look up the power pad, guys. There was a power pad thing which was a mat that looked like Twister, like the game Twister, that you could unfold on the ground that almost nobody ever had. I was going to say Dance Dance Revolution, but yeah, Twister. It looked more like Twister. Yeah, it was just a bunch of circles that I only even saw with my own eyes for the first time from this set, way after this was, you know, obsolete. I think, just to give a shout-out, I think it was my friend Sharon who gave it to us. Oh, thanks, Sharon. All right, here we go. Come on! Great. We go. So that's Excitebike music, right? Yeah. Right off the bat. Oh, my God. We played so much Excitebike. Great game. And then just her little dance, and then, yeah. Fuck you! Oh, God, what a beautiful day. I mean, also, Seth, kind of the same way you think about the audience at SNL, but almost the opposite. When you know it's going to be 150 people somewhere in, like, East Hollywood, just drunk, watching this on, like, a Sunday night on a big screen, you want to put in just things that right away are going to signal what it is, like, fuck you, right off the bat. Also, it's so funny. And again, you have explained the technology, and it's also what? This is 8-bit animation back then? 16-bit? 8-bit. 8-bit. 8-bit. And you're zoomed in so close. Yeah, in a way that you've never actually seen. It makes me think we didn't have Photoshop, because we would have cleaned that up if we had had it. Immediately, the first shot is so blurry and off-putting, and yet you hear Seabreeze and Yorm's voice, and I watched it today, and I immediately liked it. It's also funny, because we're just basically creating JPEGs out of the footage. I don't think that's Photoshopped at all. I think we're just now just zoomed in on the video. Yeah, no, 100%. But, like, we're sort of creating something out of nothing. Because it's a close-up, and then to what? I tell you what, this could be on the wall at the MoMA right now. It could be. This could be. By the way. Walk in there, and you tell your kid, you go, that's from Kung Fu. I used to play that game. Guess what? It's in my wallet. I bought it as an NFT. It's one of my most beautiful NFTs. Oh, I'm so jealous of that NFT. I also have a JPEG version in my wallet, but it's not the real one. Oh, no. I know they look identical, but I'm the guy who has the real one. Mine's worthless. Mine is. I paid a pretty penny. I can smell the salt air. Oh, that's a big one. Is that T&C Surf and Skate, maybe? Oh, my God. Again, Kevin, you could give us the names of these games when they come out. Oh, it's just called Dance Aerobics, not NES. I'm glad I wore these pants. Oh, there you go. Okay. So you can see some of the green around that from Harvard. Maybe if I stay perfectly still, he'll pass right by me. That was awkward. Okay, Steve, just keep cool. There's a cat in a tuxedo surfing. I definitely, not knowing what it was. So we have the Kung Fu guy. We cut in a mushroom guy walking. And then you're like, there's a cat surfing. I thought the premise was you're a Kung Fu guy. I thought you were a Kung Fu guy. had like dropped acid because everything in this world was very strange. It felt a little bit like an acid trip. And that moment of like just ignore the mushroom that's walking past me and then the cat. He's certainly acting like that. Do you guys have any memory of how this is playing to 150 drunk people? I think it did okay. No. I think everyone, no matter what, is going to be friendly, but I don't know that it's getting laughs. Maybe it was. For playing for a room, it's very quiet. I was wondering if you were getting, but again, there's no retro laughs. There's recognition, but it's not as though you're leaning into what anyone's memories of these games were. No, we're totally repurposing. I think the joy is that we're repurposing them in a completely weird way. And honestly, while we were doing it, we're like, at least we thought no one had ever done it before. And I don't know if that's true or not, if someone could call us out. But in our mind, we're like, I can't believe no one's ever done this before. It felt a little inventive. Do you remember how we actually recorded the VO? Because we didn't, I don't remember us having a mic. Yeah. I bet you we did it into that boom mic we had. We had that like $200 boom mic. That's right. We had one mic. It sounds great. Moving on. Come on. Let's go. There she is. Oh, aerobics dance challenge. Nice moves. That's the thing you used to always do with this character. You are the superior dancer. Boo yeah. Oh, Steve. You have got the most teeth. Making his classic punch look like a booyah fist pump in backwards is pretty good. The part that I'm the most impressed with is that her mouth, when we're making her talk, maybe she talks in the actual game, but the mouth is blurry on both frames, on the up and down. Yeah, I'm guessing we took that mouth and just copied it and moved it a little. So it's still all made up of real Nintendo blurry pixels. Yeah. So that they're just next to each other. I don't think we could have drawn that in any way. Yeah, it doesn't look like it. Because it does not look like we had Photoshop. But maybe that's just shitty Photoshop. What's the hip hop track that I know I should know and don't? It's by Milk. Yeah. I'm okay. MCMI. People call me Milk. What's the name of the song, Keith? I'm racking my brain. That's what you got. You got it good. So if you understood, it's going to get to it in the chorus. Stop looking and looking hard. I got a brand new bodyguard. Fuck me. Didn't it get sampled? I feel like he got sampled by. It's classic. But why am I blanking on what it's called? Superior dancer. Boo, yeah. Oh, Steve, you have got moves. Steve? Carl. Hey, Steve. How's it going? Great to see you. Yeah. So you down here for a vacation or? No, no, just some quiet time by myself. And your kids and your wife still? Yeah. Okay. Well, it was good talking to you. You take that. You're always good at editing, man. Not to brag, but the hard cuts on. The music at the end of the milk song and then hearing a little of the Mario music just for the underground when the guy falls in. Yeah. It's good stuff. I mean, part of the joy of this was like just cross pollinating games. Like you're like, hey, that guy doesn't belong. Yeah. But choosing when we're putting in video game music and when we're not like the Kung Fu music's not in here at all. It's creating a good vibe. Speaking of good editing, I went to the Academy Museum and watched Downhill Racer. Oh, and? Yeah. Robert Redford. Yeah. Gene Hackman and Robert Redford. Yeah. And it's edited by Richard Harris. And Jason Reitman did a Q&A with him after or before the movie. It was really funny. And because it's a, you know, a very good movie, but it's an editing movie, like almost like Lost in Translation, where you can tell they just went out and filmed a ton with a story that's there. But it almost feels realer than a normal movie would feel because it's just I don't know. There's so many scenes that are like a shot. Yeah. Because clearly they just were shooting all the time, just piles of footage and finding it in the edit. And he said that. They found the whole ending in the edit, like how they were going to end it. And it's one of the best parts of the movie that people remember. So it's an editing movie. It's kind of edited like this. So shout out to a legend of editing who also went on to edit Titanic and Terminator 2. Oh, so he did. And do you think if Richard, if somebody went to Richard Harris and was like, oh, I heard they were talking about you in a podcast. And yeah, they were complimenting their own editing. Yeah. I'm saying this is Richard. And then they started. Well, that's what editors have to do, Seth, because nobody shouts them out. This is Richard Harris. Richard Harris-esque is what I'm saying. Is it true, Keeve, that when you were editing, you said to Jorm, I'm not Richard Harris, but on this? Yes, I'm Richard Harris. I'm Richard Harris. That's exactly what I said. Call me Richard. Like, let's back up real quick. So that is a very classic song called Top Villain by Audio 2. Ah, I looked it up too. I had it ready to go. Right on the tip of my tongue. Yeah, but we should know that. It's one of the most classics of all time. But we do know that. But, you know, it's. And it's been like 50 years since it came out. I think it's OK. Oh, by the way, a shout out to the member of Quaid Army who was there, who gave me a very quiet, respectful Quaid Army. Nice. Carl. Slight problem for Steve. Richard Harris couldn't do better on that. All right, Steve, don't freak out. Let's just take it step by step. OK. OK. This is where earlier I said I thought this is going to be about you on acid. What it becomes is so much better than what my initial thought was. It could be both. From here on out, I am very impressed that this has the arc that it does. So you've you've punched and killed Carl. It's an accident. Yeah. Manslaughter. Laying at the bottom of the ocean. Also, you were great, Keith, as Carl. I'm assuming that was you. Yeah. Really good. Thank you. And. I just like everything that happens from here on out. This becomes a real film noir. You know, again, we've seen everybody you now say that saw you. We have watched them see you. Yeah. It's weird to say that, but this is very different than anything we ever made before or after this. Yeah. Look, it's definitely its own thing. Steve seems to be the the leitmotif that. Yes. It's our favorite name. Continues through your work. Yeah, that's right. Don't freak out. Okay. Who knows where at the beach today? Well, there we go. was that cat walking mushroom and the aerobics dancer carl of course but he's been taken care of okay so of course there's that two-on-two beach volleyball tournament oh shit seth because we had all the nes stuff that you wanted when you're a kid but could never afford or even knew existed because it had been dumped on us that game came with this extender piece like a splitter and you could play four players at once on the nes do you remember that existing i do not i feel like being a little bit older than you i think i was probably playing four person games on the original nes because it only could plug two controllers in yeah you're right i didn't know it existed and then all of a sudden we were given this thing and we had the the power pad that we could be on and we had this four-way beach volleyball it's so crazy though for even that early generation shit there were so many games that were made for it and so much shit that you like didn't ever get to because i mean what there must have been hundreds of thousands of games for any yeah that seems like a good guess i think we were given the machine and a couple games and then like we're at like a salvation army and found a box that's where all this other stuff came from this is also i think a real good lesson here is that you guys had no money you could not afford equipment and yet i believe you all thought you were kings because you had all these free video games whoa for sure we didn't know that it was bad for you to take kava kava pills and drink budweiser but we knew it made you feel great and we had this we were definitely drunk a lot of time there was this giant bottle when me and andy got to yorm's studio apartment in la that first month and we were looking for the apartment that would become the lonely island and we had no jobs yet so we're looking for jobs we're looking for an apartment but really we would just eat canned chili drink bottles of budweiser and take kava kava because it was a big jar for yorm's anxiety and we were like yorm's anxiety probably sitting on top of the fridge to make it worse just to give some context for like how lazy and shitty our lives were and i'll take full credit for how awful this is because it's me uh my toilet broke for like a month this is before any keep moved down and i just was peeing in the shower and this is like right when i met mari so she came over and i was like yeah i just pee in the shower like i i didn't fix my toilet for like a month i don't know what about when you had to drop i went to the theater department at ucla and just would go to the bathroom there i didn't i'd be like oh my god i really gotta go i better get into work yep yeah huh yep low points no i mean 20 year olds this is what they're supposed to be doing but just any 20 year old listening just know you're doing great you're doing fine it's fine it gets better beach volleyball tournament oh shit i just put one foot in front of the other left right left right left right left right left right left right hello mushroom so the top of the over the top game spy hunter that i know this one looks like outrun but i don't think outrun was on the nintendo that was a big i think this was outrun though no outrun is a convertible and you've got a blonde babe on your side yeah and i think it was sega's outrun seth is ringing a bell that looks you might be right i mean this was like a testarossa right yeah this is an outrun ask driving game that kevin hit us with the name dude how cool back in the day how cool was the testarossa ferrari testarossa so sick coolest guy ever so i watched this this morning when i was trying to decide if it was something we should do and when it got to the helicopter sounds and the police radio and the overhead like you know following oj police cam i was again i was like i know we always said we're not richard harris but watch this and tell me we're not a big part of it though is that that music boom boom well it's like it's great it really has some drama to it yeah stacy oh my god damn it i dropped my phone i just under a seat i i feel like i can reach it if i just put my right arm underneath and he crashes and that's the end it's great little story it's really great also very similar uh and i did not obviously make this connection when i watched it earlier today very similar to the end of downhill racer yeah and can you believe we both found those during the edit like there wasn't yeah yeah just like well we got the footage we need an ending what are we gonna do very good going from in the car to the overhead is just great editing all right i'm gonna read you some uh editor richard harris's films this is a good one i'm gonna read you some uh editor richard harris's films this is a good one i'm gonna read you some uh editor richard harris's films this is a good one i'm gonna read you some was only his second film was downhill racer and it was in 1969 he went on to do the candidate that's another redford movie also about like a competition to win but at the end you're like what is winning empty winning empty winning is what kind of a graduate type ending smile which i've been meaning to watch and haven't which is i believe about beauty pageants and it's similar themes and bad news bears oh and those are all with the same director great michael ritchie who i think reitman correctly was kind of saying like reitman correctly was kind of saying like he should be in the conversation with like he should be in the conversation with like he should be in the conversation with like hal ashby and stuff yeah just he did all hal ashby and stuff yeah just he did all those movies those movies um he also did fletch wow the golded child fletch lives la story terminator two judgment day the bodyguard the last action hero true lies titanic jesus that's phenomenal and the x-files movie and then i bet you he retired because that's 40 years of work what do you think he or no that's 50 years of work right what do you think he was like in the edit what do you think he was like in the edit like we're just what his vibe was i think he was like no let's do it this way that's how i picture him just like another lauren yeah yeah he's just in there like good one redford i don't think so hey jimmy cameron he actually did tell the story he'd be like yeah on terminator 2 we would edit for a while and if we were hitting like a a dead end or we were trying to rethink a scene we'd get on our motorcycles and just drive up the pch for a while stop get tacos talk about the scene get back on the motorcycles come back down and usually we'd have thought of something god damn it different day holy shit and now the studios are like we think if we just uber eats and also like your director's cut should actually be like seven weeks yeah so like just think of that next time getting your motorcycles that kind of counts against the seven weeks but like you know obviously if you guys have time to do everything plus the motorcycles do the motorcycles but you know uh by the way i keep so he was cutting on actual film then right from of course that oh yeah he made all the moves that's hard to do to be able to like update in that way that's very impressive i mean i don't just need to repeat this whole q and a but he told all kinds of amazing stories like basically he had to fly to london because they were up on the slopes just getting crazy footage and they just gave him like piles and piles of footage and were like cut a scene fuck and basically he recut a scene that they didn't like that they had and they were like that's it that's the movie and he was like okay that's how he said it not me like just like this is an awesome dude yeah just being like oh okay i cut the scene and they were like that's exactly what we want and i was like okay great because that's what i do it's like really and they're like this is why we don't do a lot of these editor q and a's it was actually one of the better q and a's i had seen yeah no that's awesome that's awesome um well it's really good guys i really enjoy it it's definitely one that anybody who's listening is gonna have to go check out this might be the biggest quump bump what are we at numbers wise right now in this one let's let's check before we bump it all right so at the time of this broadcast we are at 1.3 views 1.3 million at 1.3 mil okay yeah not 1.3 yeah the one time i watch it through and somebody watched somebody was out one third of the way through yeah here's a little technical tidbit i don't know if they're going to be able to watch it but i'm going to watch it and i'm going to watch it they still let you do this but here's the thing we were early on youtube everybody knows it it's in the history books guys and at a certain point they gave us access in our account which i don't know if we still have or not because it's a little bit moot to go back to videos we had posted when it would only do 480p like low low res and without ruining the view counts without changing the url without posting a new version oh this is fascinating yes i didn't know this was possible on a key fucking magic yes and it wasn't a tool so to speak it wasn't like i could just do it and it would work how it would work is the following i'd make a new clip listed private upload the video it had to be time code exact to the one that's already on there so that it wouldn't mess up anything and i believe it was just a video swap and the audio stayed but i'm not 100 yes that's correct that is correct and then i would have to basically call and email our youtube rep and be like yo here's the link to the standing video that has all the hits and i would have to basically call and email our youtube rep and here's the one i just did that's private can you do the swap and it would take like a day or two and then all of a sudden the one that was unlisted would disappear and the one that had been posted in 2003 miraculously before you know youtube could do hd now is in hd even though i might have done that 10 years later without fail this was always the most flabbergasting part of being friends with keith where he would describe something that was possible and you'd be like how do you one how do you know that what even triggered in your mind that you were going to your brain to think you could do that and then to execute it it was like it's just like i have no idea but i've never heard of other people doing it and we did it to a lot of our old videos And they weren't made in HD, by the way. Like, this being in HD is pointless. It was SD. It's Nintendo. It's 8-bit Nintendo. It's in SD. But I just wanted it to be the highest quality version of it. It's like getting a Blu-ray of some old thing shot on video. That's what you call never letting the bone out of your mouth on that one. Just to go back to early, early days of me and Akiva. Akiva, also earliest version of Photoshop I've ever seen. I don't know what you were fucking with back in the day when we were in high school. Me and this dude made fake IDs. No, it wasn't Photoshop. It was PowerPoint. Microsoft Office PowerPoint. PowerPoint. Our friend Noah lived in North Carolina. IDs were way shittier. And we made fake IDs for us and all of our friends. We went to get a italicized gold stamp with North Carolina. We were very detailed about it. They worked. But without Akiva, I would have never thought that this was possible. We made true North Carolina driver's license, Seth, and they worked. From scratch in our house. It was using everyday things. Things and like a Kinko's. We would laminate it. So we also got pictures of ourselves. And then the only problem was when we went to Kinko's, it made all of our pictures blue. So we all looked like sort of Smurfs. And then I remember us being in Reno, Nevada with us and all of our dudes. I got carded. I looked like I was a fucking child. I mean, what, I was 16, 17 maybe? And got carded. I was like, oh shit, I'm fucking done for. Guy comes back after like five minutes of like testing it to the books or whatever the hell. He comes back and he's like, I'm sorry, sir, what were you drinking? I was like, a rum and coke. Do you remember, Seth, that bars used to have a book that had detailed pictures of the 50 United States licenses? It's like, what was the map everybody in L.A. used to have in their car? Thomas God. It's like that. You can't believe that's how it used to work. That there was a big book. A physical book. And to what you're saying. So what we figured out we needed to do, because there was the signature of the governor and another little seal. And what we figured out was that there was a big book. And what we figured out we needed to do was on like a piece of clear plastic like that your teacher would use for the overhead projector. So you can print on those. So we scanned the real license. We carefully cut out the signature and stuff. Sized it exactly right and would print it on clear, you know, whatever you'd call that kind of clear paper, plastic paper that's really thin. And then we had a stamp made that was gold that was literally the seal of North Carolina at exactly the right size. And then we would take a Polaroid. And we would print it out of ourselves and you can peel off the very top of the Polaroid and it's still the photo. It's just incredibly thin. Yeah, put it all together. So we cut it and then peel it and then place it on so that to your finger, because one thing they would always do is rub a fake ID. Yeah. And if they felt ridges, they would know it's fake. But that thing was so thin we could place it on there. And our early ones was a photocopy where we would just put it on and then photocopy the whole ID because we would put that other transparency layer on top, it would kind of hide everything because it looks so real. There's a signature on top. There's gold on top of your photo. We did a very good job. And then you would use the hardest laminate at Kinko's and be like, I'll just laminate it myself. But sometimes we had to give it to the guy and he'd go, ho, ho, ho, ho, okay. And we would just laminate them ourselves. But like. They worked. Yeah. They would say we were from Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, and we would be at liquor stores in Berkeley just fucking buying for. Oh, my God. And then, by the way, like years later, I. Was driving up the five going from UCLA to the Bay, which I did all the time. I got pulled over by a police officer, like skidded up behind me in the Taco Bell parking lot. All my buddies are with me. I'm in this like 1977 Plymouth Velare boat of a car. He's like, do you know why I pulled you over? And I was like, was it was it reckless driving through the gas station? He was like, yeah. And before that, and I was like, ah, was it was it rolling through that stop sign? He's like, yeah. He's like, let me see your license. I was like, oh, what if I don't have my license? And he was like, out of the car. Why didn't you have your license? Like, yeah, I'm me, man. And so then he's looking through my wallet. I don't have my license in my wallet, but he's like looking through my wallet. He's also like at one point dangles the handcuffs to my friends in the car because I'm like, can I have my friends get out? And they're like, no. He's like, no, they're staying in the car. He's like dangling the fucking thing because he's like, I found another felony that you like. You didn't have the registration, blah, blah, blah. And then he's looking through my wallet. Finally, that's my my friends go in. He looks through my wallet and then he's like, yo, what's this? And I was like, oh, shit, you're just finding everything today, aren't you? I was like, that's my fake ID. And then he busts it out. And then I was like, yo, we made that. Like, I don't know why, but I'm like proud. And he's like, you made this? I was like, no, I mean, no, not really. He takes it out. He's looking at me and I'm like, this is the most white privilege story fucking ever. Because I'm like, I think I'm going to get off. And so the dude, he takes it out. He's like, what do you want me to do this? He was like, oh, he was also like, you know, the last person who gave me one. One of these is in jail right now. I was like, you found that. I was like, I didn't give that to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't pretend it was real. And I was like, I could just cut it up right in front of you. Like, I throw it out right here. And he was like, nah. And he just hands it back to me. I was like, you're just going to let me keep this? Hell yeah. That's like the end of Death Wish when they're just like, brother, go to Philadelphia and do your magic over there. So the only reason that that's my office is because I actually had my license number memorized. So he's been calling it in this whole time. Right. So like, he's just waiting. He's just waiting for like the whatever, the dispatch. So he's waiting for it. And at one point, he's trying to get my VIN number. And he's like brushing my car as filthy as shit. So he's like brushing the thing off to like see the VIN number. I was like, oh, man. I was like, you don't need to do that. He's like, I'm not cleaning your car for you, man. Everything about this means you should not go into a life of crime. I would say you misplayed every single part of this. Oh, Seth, the worst part is like after. It seems like he played it. Just right. He charmed this guy's pants off. I'm like, thanks, man. Like, I'm like, do you want anything? I was trying to bribe him with Taco Bell afterwards. I was like, do you want anything from Taco Bell? But what did he give you? Just like a ticket for the record for the drive? Got nothing. Got off on everything. You were trying to post bribe. You were like, you'd gotten off. Yeah, I was just like, hey, man, like, thanks for the hookup. You're like, we're friends now. I'll throw in one last crime to see. Yeah, one last crime. And then he was like, nah, man, I get everything there for free anyway. And I was like, okay. Right, cool. Yeah, they want cops in there. Anyway, fake IDs work really well. Oh, shit. Do you think based on the fact that you guys made them for your friends and stuff that there were liquor stores in the Bay Area who were like, man, these boys from Kitty Hawk love their 40s? Yeah. And they're like, boy, they're young looking. They must, I don't know what's in the water at Kitty Hawk. These guys look 15. I mean, I'm sure I was like, oh, I'd like a gin and tonic, please. Yeah, they grow small in Kitty Hawk. I feel like one of ours said we were from Pimpsville. Oh, damn. But on an official license. And you're just like, well, why make it worse? Which is literally like a McLovin thing, but that was 10 years after this. God damn it. I don't know. Like, why did you choose a stupid thing? Yeah, we just were like, yeah, we'll get away with it. It's fine. I guess my question is, are fake IDs still a thing? I know the, like, using your older brother's ID when he gets a new license and you look enough like him. That's fine. Not fine, but that's- You can get real ones in New York for like 400 bucks. For real. Like ones that scan. Yeah. Yeah. But that's a different level. That's like- Real crime. Yeah, actual fake IDs. That thing, I remember you would run, like, writing your finger the bumps. Like, my fake ID had so much, like, the ridges on it. It was, like, lumpier than, like, a grandpa's wallet. Just like- Yeah, yeah. If you run just like- Yeah, every element you could feel just being sucked under the laminate. It was like you would run your finger over, like, it would be like an EKG fucking bar. Did you guys have friends who, like, where they had a fake ID, but it was like somebody else's? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, Mario had this where, like, where first year I met her, it was like she was 19. So she had a fake ID, and she would have to do this super stupid smile. Oh, she'll look like- Because it was the only way she looked like this person. Yeah. And then whenever she'd do it, they'd be like, oh, okay, yeah, go ahead. It's so funny, because for having a book behind the bar to check it, the other thing you should say is like, hey, if they're ever making the exact same smile from the license- Yeah, maybe don't. That's not them. Oh. Oh. Oh. That's not a shirt. Well, this was just lovely. Oh, hey, well, a couple things. First of all, Jack Black. Spelling bee. Spelling bee. Hey, fellas. I can't remember what day you recorded, but Saturday, clean. Sunday, bailed too short. Monday, clean. Tuesday, two hints. Wednesday, two hints. Later, Arnold. Obviously, can't wait to hear how that went. But also, Jorm, could you reach out to our friend Hamilton Whiteman? He had some news in the last episode about his health. He said he'd tell us more later. Yeah, he said he was dying. Do you think you could get him to send another voice note just with, you know, whatever information he's willing to- I'll do that right now. To share? All right, great. A bit of unfinished business, as they say. No, I had told you of my- Dire health prognosis deserves an explanation, and here it is. I, on a dare and a whim, licked a sea slug. This particular slug had not lived a healthy life, and his health inadequacies were transferred into my system, and there's nothing they can do. My organs are shutting down one at a time. And I have. very little time, so I wish you all the best if I am not able to return another message. Please pray to me in whatever god or demon you worship. I need all of the luck I didn't get. And, uh, wonderful, guys. All right. Well, hopefully we have Andy back next week. Yeah, I hope so, too. And, you know, I do want to echo what Seth said. Like, Andy, great points, and I love you, man. Love you so much. You're the best. Yeah. Uh, all right. Love you, guys. Love you, too, Seth. Love you. Later, Arnold. Later, everybody. This is really great to be on the show. I love what you guys do, Seth and Andy and Jorm, and they give you guys a fantastic, and all the Quades, I want to thank you for everything you do. You're great. Quade army. Later, real Arnold. Later, Quades. Michael Jackson, anything to add? Hi, guys. Okay, it's me. MJ. First off, I want to say that Akiva asked me, well, what era are you from? What MJ is this? This is all eras of MJ, okay? This is Jackson 5. This is the early aughts with Scream, me and Janet. This is omnipresent MJ. It's very confusing what's happening here. Anyways, Jorma did not tell me to say this, but even though he may not look too bright, he is very good. He did at the New York Times spelling app. Andy crushes him pretty much. Andy's also, you know, he's getting lazy, so he's not appearing on the podcast because you know, he's become slothful, which as we know in the Bible is a sin. I don't know what he's doing, playing his video games or whatnot. And listen, I get it, okay? I love video games. I absolutely love you know what I like is Sonic the Hedgehog, okay? That's my favorite favorite with upload ploom ploom and all the powerballs and all those things. I actually did the music for Sonic the Hedgehog game. You can look that up. Need to Google that, okay? Okay, I'm going to dinner with Elizabeth Taylor. Keep it clean and classy and God bless.