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Yeah, we start. Yeah. Right. Thank you. You brought in a sign, Phil. You ran into sign, Phil. That's exactly what I was going to tell them on the pop. Really? Yeah. What the hell? Jerry? No more apples. Yeah. What the fuck? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ran into Jerry sign, Phil. A breakfast. What was he doing? He was playing ice protest. Running them off the road with a vehicle. He was doing one of the theaters. And I saw him and I wanted to say hi because he was a major figure in my desire to become a comic. Yeah. I feel like if I was in that situation, I would just act like a cramer. Until he got really mad. Just following around the hotel. I was doing cramer. Jerry badly too. Doesn't even good at it. Jerry from your show. You know, you understand. Remember from your show? Whatever happened to that guy. He's still doing it. Oh right. Oh, jeez. Oh, I forgot about that. Did you ask him if he knew who you were? No, of course not. I mean, you hit Roy Mac or Roy with that. That seems possible. And ironically, I have briefly, I think, said hello to Seinfeld before, but only in passing in a hallway at Gotham. But he was with Ryan Hamilton. Oh, okay. So I made the decision to go say hi. I'm a Hamilton open for him. What an interesting way to go about your career. Yeah. He's funny. He's a good comic. Yeah. And he's got a Netflix special coming out. Yeah, I know. But it's like, he doesn't, it's like, you like to be like, well, I look like you. You know what I mean? So I mean, well, I like work with this guy that looks like me. It just seems unnecessary. Yeah. What was the interaction? Did you like give you anything? Well, so I didn't know. I saw him from way across the restaurant, the breakfast restaurant at the hotel. And I only saw him. And he was with two other guys. Then I went back to my table. And I was like, I'm not, I know he's very standoffish. That's my impression of Seinfeld. Mm-hmm. So I was like, I'm not going to say hi to him. And I texted my manager that he was there. And he was like, go say hi. He's a nice guy. Yeah. And I got the courage to do so. And then as I turned the corner, I noticed Ryan. And I was like, Ryan Hamilton. I'm saying hi to you. Right. Perfect. And Ryan was like, oh my god, Francis. Jerry. He's a good comic. And then I could see Seinfeld relax. Oh, he's not going to ask me for a picture in no way. Is he trojan horsing his way through my opener into saying hello to me. Yeah. That's exactly what you were. I feel like this is too much deference towards Seinfeld. We should listen to this. Great show. Went off the air 25 years ago. What has he done since that? Great movie. Went to Israel and fired an assault rifle. Is he doing good stuff now? I don't think so. I would have gone, you should have ruined his morning. Neck them. You should have apologized to Ryan the entire time. I'm like, I'm sorry. I got to really, I got to ruin this. All right. Shall we? Or is that end of that end? Of course. Of course. I did not know. Yeah. Well, welcome to the son of a boy to a podcast today. It's 23rd March 23rd. And we are joined by Nick Mullin. Hello, everybody. Thank you for being here. Thanks for having me. I've never been to the bar stool offices. I didn't put it together. It would be here. I'm just I thought it would be somebody's living room. Does that mean this looks like a look? You know, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then they try to hire you. Didn't they try to hire you like 15 years ago or something like that to do radio or something? Yeah. We have a website design. Yeah. Yeah. You were going to run HR. Yeah. They were like, we think you should design the website. I don't like, I don't really know how to do that, but I'll try. I need you to. And I blew it. You can learn. I blew it. But they paid $10 million. So, you know, so when I could say, oh, I owe Dave that. I was $10 million. Did he give me to pretend to know how to make a website? 10, like 10 years of bar stool blogs were like lost. There really is like somebody that blew website design for that. Yeah, that was me. Is there really, they just lost 10 years of it? Yeah. They like trying to hire somebody and like, it's probably like good because it was probably the most like paste. Yeah. Yeah. Prophane stuff that they ever said. Yeah. Yeah. But, uh, they dodge the bullet. That's crazy. On my first interaction with bar stool sports ever was my cousin showing me a video on his phone of a woman at a bar pulling her pussy out. Like, like she's dancing and she just pulls her pussy out and people are like, yeah. And that was on. I was like, a, why are you showing it? Like, is it, am I laughing at this or are you backing off to this? You know, like what, what is, and then I was like, what's this website? And he's like, oh, it's just stuff like this. So that's what I thought it was. That's what I thought it was. When you say, when you say pulling, she pulled her pussy out. She's like, Ed, I can't remember the exact, they're at a bar. It's like Marty Gras or something. And then she's like, there's like a magician when they have like multi-colored ribbon inside their mouth. She's just like, yeah. She was like coyote ugly, but then like, yeah, when she revealed it. Yeah, right. But she didn't, she like just unpack it. Yeah. Oh, no, no. Oh, okay. I thought maybe it was. No, it wasn't like she pulled the zipper down and like, squeeze. Like you're almost at a toothpaste. Like a surprise snake. She was popped out. It has dispenser. Early on in bar stool, there was a video that someone sent in only to bar stool of a guy, fucking a fish at the Jersey Shore. Like, and there was like a rush. They were like, we got to get our water mark on this. Yeah. We need to own that bar stool. If this gets viral, we need to know where it came from. It gets stool and stripes on them. Yeah. Yeah. So that's what I was like, oh, it's just stuff like that. It was. That's kind of what it was until what like four or five years ago? No. No, obviously the entire company wasn't that, but that's how what's what the Instagram was. I remember when I got, when they reached out to me to hire me, I was like the, the count that post-suits doing like backflips off of roofs. I think that's what I thought it was. I didn't know there was a whole network attached to the, the brand. Yeah. It was like Chive, I think, adjacent early on. Yeah. I forgot about Chive. Chive was great. Yeah. Chive had a TV channel at bars for a while. Yeah. There just be a loop of people running many motorcycles off of bridges and shit. I've never understood that at like a bar. And then their whole, was that, was that heavy in their branding, the like, the keep, keep calm and Chive on, which didn't make any sense? Because they were the first to like resurrect that because I was initially, that was British thing. There was a British thing from like World War II when they were getting bombed. Yeah. And then they were like, well, what if this could be about like funny internet videos? And that's probably why we started doing Viva La Stool. It's like our battle cry. Yeah. Yeah. Which is from the Spanish revolution when they were like Viva La revolution. But that's been appropriated plenty. There's plenty of Viva La, I mean, there's Viva La Bam. It's like that's, so that's been used, but to keep calm and Chive on, it's like that's a weird pull. I've seen that repurposed in many different spots. Oh, have you, I thought it was that first. And then I saw it. Then it was everywhere. Then it was like, you know, like, did the child millennial, like, uh, like, uh, like, a work from coffee shop women all had the tote bags. I mean, keep coming. You come and all of that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Have you saw, right? La Rie used, was it before the Chive or like recently, it's just, you know, I don't know the timeline of Chive to learn mass production. So you're asked down and learn some history and, you know, Viva Pat your cat, whatever it is. Yeah. I've seen that's a good one. I've seen so many. Yeah. I think they brought it back. I'm just going to, I don't care whether it's true or not. I like your version. Yeah. I'm fine. I can lip with that. I don't have a problem with that. I feel like when you two, when you guys were reconnecting, it was over the beans. It was over coffee beans. Reconnecting. Did we have a falling out? The way French says it is. You guys were thickest these. Yeah. I didn't realize I was a reconnecting. I don't know. I thought I just saw you again and you were telling me about your coffee. Well, I, I, what was funny was that I didn't know that I had your phone number. I asked Gary. Yeah, I wanted the idiot to play like Terminator.
is the fucking transgender terminator. This is the funniest fucking some horrible sketch idea. I had it's a terminator, but he's got to push it. And he cuts everyone's dick off for some. I remember when Frances brought this to me and he was like, you think I should do this? Yeah. Hey, dude, it's Nick Molland. Shane gave me your number. I got a sketch playing the terminator. I say, say no more, friend. I am in. And then you go, it's brand-unsafe parentheses. Trans terminator shooting up the building. And then you go, oh, okay, awesome. Responding. And then I go, oh, I can't remember what the idea was. I know it wouldn't have been that. Yeah, there had to have been another element there. I'm like, oh, we got, I got to spend the money to do this. Because it couldn't, it couldn't, I, I wouldn't give myself a little bit more credit. There had to have been something else there. Maybe there wasn't. Well, I'm Frances, though, just because he had like Paxer. A pussy. Well, I was like, what comedian could pass for the terminator? And it's like, you know, I mean, you're kind of the only option really. There's guys that are jacked, but they're 5'1." Yeah. Right. And then there's, that's it. It's like, either you or like what, Dante Nero. Yeah. Who's the, who would make any sense with anybody else? The Rocky Dale Davis. Rocky Dale Davis. Yeah. Oh, Rocky Dale Davis. He's very strong. He's very strong. He's a pretty Christus definitely now. But he can't be the terminator. Yeah, probably not. I don't know. I, you know, maybe I didn't put much thought in. I'm just saying that going forward, if there, if there any, there is no one else. It's, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Jackson's comic. I'm just the guy for those roles and they're, we shouldn't consider other people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. To get a monopoly on it. Just want, I don't know why we tried to, you know, lose me work. And we're not going to do that. Are you like the most jacked comic in? No. Absolutely not. Jordan Jensen's pretty fucking jack. She's jacked. She's super jacked. I was imagine. I was imagine. You guys know who Nathan Jones is. He's like, anytime they need a big guy for a movie, he's in, he's in Troy. He's in that movie. He's like the big guy that fights Jet Lee. Some, it's one of the producers helped me out. Nathan Jones. He's in a show. He's the bald guy. He's the bald, the bald, agrius. Maybe who in the first town's like a role he would play. I don't know what bow agrius is, but oh, here we go. Yeah, this guy, it is. This guy, it is. Yeah. He's like, he's got him and he just gets him. Oh, and that's when he stabs him in the neck. Yeah, he jumps in me. Yeah. He's a guy's job. Yeah, he's big as hell. Anyways, I was imagining him yesterday and he's carrying Aaron Berg around. He's got him strapped into the front of him. Eric connected together and he doesn't speak, but Aaron does. Aaron Berg's fucking jazz. He's in like a baby Bjorn in the front of the camera. I could picture it completely. I've been mercilessly crowdworked by Aaron Berg multiple times. You're going to Aaron Berg, show. I'm going to, I went to like, I'll bring him. What am I going to do? It's Thursday night. I want to see it. I got to Aaron Berg again. Yeah. I'm going to get my lick back with Berg. Yeah. It's just that the seller, he'll just, nice hat, dickhead. Where'd you get that? A black guy's penis. Exactly that. Where's your, where's your fucking coffee from? A Puerto Rican gay sex. That's exactly that. He just destroys me. I once did a private Christmas party with Aaron Berg and he opened, which was, it was just him and then me and it was, he's aggressively Jewish. Right. He is very Jewish. Up, oppressively? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, people. But he, he, when you, when you follow him in a setting like that, it's as bad as it could be. Yeah. Because he's built for that. Yeah. And he's a crowd of people that aren't particularly interested. It is shocking. It's like magic watching him destroy. Yeah. Because if you repeated any of it, people would be like, and then he went to jail. Yeah. He's talking about the written transcript. Yeah. Yeah. But it destroys. It's insane to me. Yeah. And it's like nice looking. It's nice, like clean looking people in the audience. Mm-hmm. And then it's like, whoa, did you ever been raped? Yeah. Chinese man. And people like, ah, no, I haven't. Yeah. Okay. What did he say to you? Oh, boy. And he was, he was like, he called me autistic for like a long time. And then he was just making fun of how big my shirt was and how short my shorts were. Yeah. It was hard like for maybe 10 minutes. Mm-hmm. You have to stand up. And you were dressed like this. Yeah. I have the long shirt. You didn't even have shorts. I was like, I'm not going to wear it. I'm not going to wear it. I think he was at the end because, yeah, I don't think they wanted to put anybody after him. He was doing frantic on Mondays. Yeah, yeah. That was the show because it was his show, his and Karen's show. Okay. Well, it used to be, it was Michael Costa's show, I think. Really? Yeah, a long time ago. Really? I might be wrong in that, but I think that that's what it, that's where it started with him. Yeah. I love Michael Costa. I got an award this weekend at a firefighters banquet. Oh, yes. It was fucking. It was fucking sick. It was fucking sick. But I mean, it was like, were you awarded for? I think just raising money, raising money for the red stripe for the boys, but there was one of the guys that got an award. As he went up, he was like this five foot one very old firefighter. And the guy next to me is like, this guy, like, he every summer, he walks around with the biggest staff. Of fake $100 bills and just goes to Chinese markets and buys watermelons. Buies like buys them out of watermelons for the entire firehouse. Like that's this guy's calling card is going around the city just buying watermelons and bringing them back to the firehouse. So he's actually counter-fitting. He's counter, he's actively counter-fitting and he only hits Chinese markets because he's like, they can't tell the difference. They don't know. Well, you think a fruit vendor wouldn't be on the on the fucking on his guard. Yeah, well, he said he's he's hit thousands of them. I mean, they're probably thousands of them to see someone paying for a watermelon with a $100 bill. Well, how excited are they to be like, bought out of all of their watermelons? They're like, this guy's he's like in the 70s, he owned money to the Goddies. But since he was married into the mob, they picked him up and like took him to the Karnarse pier, broke his legs and called the firehouse and were like, pick up your guy. Damn, fucking lying there. And so I was like, I need to meet this guy. And I had the guy who was running everything introduced me to this guy. And they're like, he has so many stories. Just tell him the story of how you met your son. And the guy was like, he's walking down like the main strip of Karnarse. And this kid came up to me and he was like, I think you're my dad. And he's like, let me get a good look at you. Like you do kind of look like me. And the kids like, can I get a hug? He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I just met you. And it was it was start with the watermelon. Did they do did they do testing to find out was his son? Oh, okay. It was his son. Interesting. And then the guy walked away towards like the 5050 raffle and pulled out the crispest fold of $100 bills. I don't know if he was actually like, that's a that's a serious crime. Secret service investigation. Yes, exactly. And it's like a federal crime that print here a month. At this scale too. There's got to be no statute of limitations. It's weird. It doesn't happen more that like, because back in the day, it's like to have, you know, nobody had a printer. But I'm surprised that that's you don't hear like constantly about children being arrested for counterfeiting. Yeah, I remember printing money when I was a kid. Exactly. Like I'm a printer. And it's like, well, print money. My parents freaked the fuck out at me. I was like, I put up, I put a $1 bill in like the copier. And it prints out just one side. And I like cut it out and showed it to my parents. And they were like, you can never do that. Interesting. It's like, I don't, it's one. So that parents really take counterfeit. (laughter) You're paying for the secret service. Your pay is a pancreate tends. I mean, the government's allowed the print money. Why the fuck can't I print money? Yeah, exactly. It's absolute bullshit. Yeah, right. Shouldn't they given us the right to have a printer at home? They don't want us to print money. It's crazy. You see this morning, Trump did it again. He keeps tricking the markets. Oh, yeah. Saying the war ended. Yeah, this morning he did it again. He's like, good news. We talked. We got a piece of steel. And then he stops like, you know, we did it. (laughter) He's like, oil drop like 10% immediately. If he can lie, that's fine. Yeah, buying needles go down. It's just, yeah, I don't know how much longer people are going to continue probably indefinitely. Yeah, but it's like, it keeps on lying. And then just people just see videos of like, just missiles raining down. The missiles. And then they're also starting to like having to like, ration gas in Australia. It's like, yeah. Eventually, it's going to be, we're going to get to a point where it's like, you can't afford food here. You're starving to death, but your 401k is great. (laughter) So it's going to continue manipulating the market. You're like, at least I got $2 million in a video stock. (laughter) I can't go see the doctor. (laughter) The badly-bodied that a Japanese reporter.
I was talking about Pearl Harbor. - Oh, that was insane. - That was so nasty. - I didn't realize I had a lady prime minister, Japan though. - Yeah, and she's still riding with us, even though they got bodied. I think she's still. - She didn't seem to fuck with that comment at all. - No, and it's really, it was. - Well, it's like, it was, but the weird of Japanese people, they were like offended by it. And it's like, but you did Pearl Harbor. - Yeah. - If he had said like, well, we didn't tell you before we did fucking Hiroshima, then you could be offended at that. - Right. - But you can't be offended about something you did. - Yeah, yeah. The thousands of brave soldiers. - That's probably the last thing that they're ever expecting. It's like a Pearl Harbor reference from the president. - Mm-hmm. (laughing) - They said that there's a vicious, surely he's not gonna bring up Pearl Harbor. That's a water under the bridge at this point. They said there's an article that came out this. - Oh, ships under the water right now. - That there's like a huge, a huge male porn star shortage in Japan. - Oh, I saw that too. - That there's 20,000 women. - How though they blur the penis. - Everyone, man. - They blur the penis. You couldn't they just use the same guy for every single video? - I don't know. Maybe they could, but I don't know if the guys are, are about-- - I think because like something happened over there where they shifted, like it's like 30 to 40% of the male population in Japan has never fucked. - Yeah, it's like adults. - That's not like including children. - There's something crazy like that. And I think it's, you can be like, oh, well, it's because Japanese guys are fucking losers and they don't have game or whatever, but that's not the case. I think they're like, no, we're-- - It's the technology, I think. - Well, they're in love with cartoons. Like the cartoons got good enough that they just, they want to-- - They don't need to. - They want to marry a pillow or something. Fuck the vacuum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's coming for us though. I really believe that there were like 20 years behind from this and that there will be this-- - I think we're getting there already. - Yeah, it's coming. - The boys aren't fucking anymore. - Yeah, the boys aren't drinking and the boys aren't fucking. Both of the younger kids even younger than me, they're not fucking at all. - Is that right? - At all. - You know it's younger than you, 12. - Well, you're old. - You get no pussy anymore. - Yeah. - I'm always seeing videos of like 16 year old boys being like, I'm never having sex. - Oh, okay, I was wondering. - I'm gonna have that sentence. Who's gonna end? (laughing) - It's the one kid who's always like, what's better than me? - Yeah, exactly. - Like, dinner and a godfaring woman. That's the only reference that I have. But that guy is 10,000 to follow her. - He's leading the path. - Yeah, we're slowly, everyone's gonna be Muslim and like-- - Oh yeah, that's the route. Everyone's going heavy on religion. Religions back in a big way. - My mother. - But it's gonna be Islam. - It's not gonna be any religion. - Yeah, 'cause there's more mystery there. It's not, it's different. You could lie about what it is. - Yeah. - You know, it's also interesting. - Most people had some exposure to Christianity or Catholicism growing up. So it's not too much meat on the bone there to like rediscover that. But Islam, you can say, yeah, you get a genie. - Yeah, it's also cool. - You would probably, I would believe that, right? - Sounds good. - If a guy with a big beard and a turban on him is like, no, genies are real and you can have one. - Yeah. - I'll be like, okay. - And you get the virgins. - But we don't want that. (laughing) - You're already decided we don't want it. - You think of the name of God. Up there are gonna be 72 highly experienced loose women waiting for you. - Yeah. - You should be able to trade in your virgins for something else, like especially if you're not interested in flexing. - For a plush toy. - Yeah. - For a GameCube game. - Yeah. - I'm with the whole GameCube battle. - I'll give you 10 virgins for, yeah. - Yeah, it's definitely a game. - So many two pairs of Japanese selvage denim. (laughing) - Is that, are you into that? - I'm into Japanese clothing. - Japanese denim. - Yeah. Interesting. - What about a fabric we work with with you? - This is from a New York man company, actually. Engineered garments. - When I go into Mugi and I look at the clothes in there, just the material and the weight to them. And I'm like, I'm not even fat, but I'm like, I'm too fat for these clothes. I don't know, you have to have like 8% body fat. Yeah, right, it's nipily and titty. Yeah, right. Mugi just like the cut of Mugi is all. - I mean, look, can you imagine me where I look like Donald Duck? (laughing) - I was wearing that top one. I wanna wear it so bad though, 'cause it's like affordable. - Is it their old Navy? What's the analogous brand? - It's apparently Mugi is like their K-Mart. It's like dog shit over there. And they bring it here and people are like, - People go crazy for it. - Yeah, but what's big over there in Tokyo is they're 7/11. I think they have 7/11, but they also have a place called Lawsons, which is like a convenience store. - That's Larsons. - There's Lawsons. - Yeah, it would be Lawsons. - Lawsons, Lawsons. And if I remember correctly, Lawsons was just like a chain of convenience stores in Fuckin' Ohio that got like restructured or whatever, it's gone here now, but they're like huge in Japan. - Really? - Yeah. And it was just like, it was like a circle K or Wawa or something. - Interesting. Can we pull up a Lawsons? - Yeah, Lawsons. - I think that's an idea. - Get my eyes on this. - There was the rumor that all of the 7/11s in the US were being bought out by the Japanese 7/11 company. That R7/11 quality was about the skyrocket. - It doesn't seem like it has. Anything it feels like it's gone down quite a bit. - Significantly worse. - They were going to 7/11 and they just don't have shit. They just got nothing. Sold out. We were like, "I need a water." All they got is like that weird Midwest water. - Guys, let's take a second and talk about every plate. Every plate is the affordable low-stress way to cook great meals while balancing work, social life and budget. Obviously I've splurged on takeout before and it's not a nice feeling because it hits your wallet and it doesn't hit your taste buds as hard as it should. But somehow every plate compares favorably in every way possible. 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(laughing) - Is it Arrowhead? - Yeah, absolute guard. - They're all the same. - It's all every single one that's listed in that pin. - Sounds like a word too. - Yeah, fucking Arrowhead. - Yeah. - Eviance. - Yeah, dog shit. - No, Arrowhead, I wouldn't feel that too a dog. - Arrowhead is like filtered through a coal miner natural. It's fucking foul. - Yeah, I'm just saying. - Eviance disgusting. I've always hated it. It's way too viscous. - It's like there's salty. I would call it, there's like baby oil in it. - Yes, exactly. - Eviance to meet a salty. I don't like it. - It's nasty. - What's the one that's bottled by Coca-Cola? - The Sony. - The Sony. - Well, that's not spring water. - Just tap water, right? - No, it's filtered water. Yeah, yeah, right. I think it's just, it's not like it can come from a spring. - I mean, here you can just drink the tap water. - Correct, I agree. - I've been off bottled water for a decade plus at this point. - I agree with that. - Yeah, I have a big 46 ounce yet, I fill up three times a day. - Three times a day. - I have to piss so bad, right now. - That's insane. - You can go. - No, that's all right. Well, yeah. Maybe I'll finish my water first. (laughing)
I don't can we talk about water at all? Is tap water? Is tap water like listen, you were talking about tap water. The most abundant stuff on any promotion. We can't let people know that this shit is free. She's nationally. Yeah. Falls from this guy, um, manifest from the ground. That's insane. 140 plus fucking. Why do you drink that much water? Is that just what you recommended? No, it makes me feel good. Yeah. Yeah. It's like it helps like I'll drink a bunch of it from anxious. I'll drink a bunch of water. That's nice. Yeah. And then I feel like it's probably better to overshoot a little bit than undershoot. Yeah. Yeah. Do you ever worry about drowning your organs? Is what is that called? Like does a name for it? Yeah. You got to get a lot of water though. No. Yeah. I think it's one of those things where you're more likely to die to be dehydrated than fucking over hydrating. There was like the there was a people who did a contest at the mall. Like one of those contests where you put your hand on a car or something like that. Oh yeah. Like a Mr. Beast. They Mr. Beast did their way and it was like drink a certain amount of water. And somebody in the contest died like they just over over watered themselves. But I don't know what that threshold is. That's got to be like a pretty uncomfortable way to go out. Yeah. It's like hyper hyper hydrate, hyper hydrosis or something. I think is the name of it. Sounds right. Yeah. Just putting those words together. Hyper. Don't you feel like you would just throw up before you drowned? Excessive uncontrolled. No, that's when you sweat too much. I don't know. I worked in a call center and they had they did like the contracts with every different like dial up internet company and like every part of rural America. Yeah. And so the job was miserable. When I got hired there, they already had like insane turnover. This is a big building. There was like 600 people on the phones at any given time. Jesus. And they had on the board. You could see like calls left in the queue and it was like 1200 third. You know, it was like always insane. And they had taken on like two or three more contracts. So it was like it was like crunch time at the fucking call center. And so to retain employees because it was a shitty job. They were like, they're like we're ordering pizza every day. They would always have pizza. They would try to like, but these are call center guys. Like they're all like, there should be a different name for like nerds that are dumb. Yeah. They're not like good at anything. Technically, they just have no social skills and like they're, you know, like into nerd stuff. Yeah. Off stopper. Yeah. Right. There was a guy that like I had a shirt that he would walk around. I forget what it was exactly, but it was something like it was like look out. Bomb squad coming through and then like bomb squad was crossed off. And it was like Ted said tech support. Some variation of that. There was a guy that had like a cane that he would walk around with. It was a girl who would bring a doll. And so a lot of these people were out of shape. Yeah. You had to bring a doll in and put it up on the desk and brush its hair while she was on the phone. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. There was a lot of freaks. That's her water drinking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then, but they had a content. I mean, it was like a football base. It was a giant fucking burrito. And yeah, they had a contest where it's like, whoever could finish the burrito, the fastest, was like a one, like, a TCL. Like a 55-inch flat screen TV. And then the two guys actually finished it. The guy that came in first, he was like, "There's a guy who's wearing a. he's wearing a black shirt." And he said, "Yeah, I'm not sure if he's wearing a black shirt." They were like, "Yeah, you're wearing a black shirt." And then the five-inch flat screen TV. The guy that came in first, he won the TV in the second guy. And then one of them, I think, like, they had to, like, send him home. He was like, "Yeah, he was like really fucked up." Just like, like, hurting himself. They're like killing their employees to try and, like, motivate them to take these fucking terrible. - To go home early. - Yeah, yeah. - Because of the giant burrito. - Yeah, yeah. - Just manverse footing yourself. - Mm-hmm. Wait a minute. Is that the end? - Of the story? - Yeah. Oh, yeah, no. Because you said a guy that drank too much water. - Oh. - I just thought of that guy that fucking heard himself. - I was hooked. - I was hooked on that. - And. - Where was he going? - Well, no, I'm glad now that you brought it back. I hadn't. - And then Russian invaded Ukraine. - Something cool, you know. - Something to get sent home. - How long ago did that happen? - Was it last year? - No, it's 2008, 2009. - Man, I gotta tell you, your recall of detail is remarkable. You remembered the brand of the television. - That was. - Oh, no, I'm saying it was like that. It was like a shitty flat screen TV. Yeah, I don't remember what the actual brand of the television was. - I just assumed you were telling me. - And in fact, I don't even know. Would TCL have even been around back then? TCL's Chinese. - In 2008? - Yeah, I don't think they were even around back then. It was just a shitty TV. And they had. I went in there. It was in one. I remember that. The room was like a room this side. And they had a size and they had a conference table set up. And it was all the fattest guys at the company around the table. They all had their burritos. And they were like, "Go." - Imagine that now for a TV. As TV's now, you just get a TV instead of doing that. - In 2008, they were valuable. - Yeah, yeah. - A flat screen TV. - That's even bigger than I remember. This quadruple super monster. I mean, that's fucking insane. I remember being like, like, like, it was just massive. - But that was a long one. - But that's such a crazy thing to like pitch to the company. - Yeah. - It was gonna help boost morale. We're gonna get 15 tons of burrito. - My sophomore year, I competed in a burrito eating contest. - Yeah. - It was teams of four at run through Qdoba. Do you know that place? - Yeah, yeah. - And. - A very famous place. - Yeah. - They got. Well, I never know what chains are regional and based on, you know. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Let me ask you this. Let's say you signed up for the Nathan's contest. And what you do is you eat the bread, but you put the, you shove the hot dog in your ass. (laughing) And like, they're like looking at the rule book. (laughing) - There's nothing in the bylaws. - I'm like, I don't know. - A loophole loophole. - Yeah, right. Do you think maybe? - That's how Batman's booker used to do it. - I put it in his folds. - I feel like I'd rather go bun in the ass. - How would you do it? - Come on, that would be such a goddamn mess. - He just has to crumble it in. - He's such a man. - That's why you soak it in water for him. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - If you soaked it in water, I think your hands would just inhale. - Yeah, suck it. - This guy's seeing the guy do the hot dog thing and he's like, "Oh, we'll just try to copy it, "do it wrong." - They're all. - He's like, "Why you suck fuck it?" And he just goes, "You eat it anyway." - He just shit all over the bun. Jeremy got two hot dogs. (laughing) - Hot dogs. - Hot dogs. - He's counting the ones in your ass. - He's got the. - Talk about just. - Just shitting after that. - Yeah, he gave himself sexes. - Full hot dogs. - Meeting his own shit. - Would they just come out, hole? Would you. - What's something in your ass? Is there any digestion that happens in there or does it just. - Yeah, it comes out hole. - It would just be straight dogs. - Just re-exits as a dog. - Honestly, you could probably like cook 'em up. - Like they're so. - That's how you sous vide. Just put them in your ass. - They're so processed and like. - Yeah. - I think they could survive 24 hours in an ass. - Pop one of those bad boys in, get an MRI. (laughing) - Shit it out, done. Right under the bun. (laughing) - Shitting it on a little. - Yeah. - Pipe it hot for an MRI. - How would you shit it out? Would you. - You'd have to put your leg. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Or would you sit down? - Anyway, you're at Harvard eating a fucking fat eyes burrito. - That's okay, we got to that. - No, no, no, let's just. - I don't care about my story, yes. We lost because of me. - You couldn't take it. - Why I'd just never done any competitive eating before and it was just eat it as fast as you can and I just assumed because I eat a lot. - But was everybody else on the team like a big fat guy? - No. - Can you imagine if you're a big fat guy, you go to the food eating contest and some like handsome and shit guy shows up and beats you at the food eating. - Well, that's what the Nathan Spongebob was doing. - I would kill you. - If I was a big fat guy who showed up and. - He was all my heart. - Yeah. - Does everything. - I went to karaoke one time and I did, and I'm not a karaoke guy. It was at Pinebox Rock Shop. Remember that? - No. - It's in Bushwick. They used to do comedy shows there. But they would have karaoke lady came by and I did mother, Danzig and there was a big fat guy sitting by himself and I got off of the stage and then he goes, you did my song. (laughing) - And he's like, that's his thing. Is going and doing mother by Danzig and he's this big fat guy and I come around his night. - He's terrible about it. - Yeah, that's brutal. - I wouldn't even like karaoke. - Did you apologize to him? - I did. - Yeah, you have to. - I was like, I'm sorry dude. - Should have told her. - Did he go do it again or did he? - You can still do it. - Yeah, you could just run it back. - No, I think he killed himself. - Oh shit. - Yeah, he went home and he cronied you. - Mm-hmm. - I mean, that's not surprising. That's the reasonable thing to do. - Dan stakingly slit his wrist. - Do you guys smoke these cigars on the show? - We have. - I'm always trying to get them to smoke cigars. - I'm trying to convince, I smoke a pipe and I'm trying to trick other people in becoming pipe guys. - We smoke pipes upstate. - Nice. - It was actually sick. Yeah. - They're much better than cigars. - I liked it. It was very sweet. - Yeah, they're sweet. It's like having a nice cup of tea or something. - Yeah, yeah. - It's a little more meditative than cigar. - You said you buzz too. Like it's a cigar, it's like it's a bad head high. You're like, like cigar does last forever. - Yeah. - It's like you got to sit down for like two hours with a cigar. - It's the aesthetic. - Are you smoking the pipe inside? - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. - That's nice. - Yeah.
- My guess is my apartment, who would be like magging the cat. (laughing) - What's he? - Yeah. - So you just like chill and you just play video games and you're just hitting the pipe. - Yeah, I've been playing Resident Evil, the new one. - Fuck yeah. - Hit the pipe. - Yeah. - That's pretty fun. - Do you have to play the controller? - No, I haven't played it yet. I haven't played any other Resident Evil's. - To light it, yes. - But you only have to light if you pack it, right? You only have to light the pipe, well twice, I guess. - Yeah, yeah. - That's not bad. - Yeah. - I got a little pipe when I was in Wyoming over the summer. Like a wooden one, to smoke weed out of it. - Yeah. - Didn't work at all. - Well, if it's for tobacco, I don't know if you can smoke weed. - Yeah, I realize that you'd have to use a lot of weed. - Yeah. - Or like mix it in. - Yeah. - Like a little spliss of tobacco. - Yeah, there are different kinds of pipes. And I think if you put weed in a tobacco pipe, it would gum the whole thing out. - Yeah, that's pretty much what happened. It was nice that I was walking around with the pipe. - You feel distinguished. - Yeah, you feel like I'm better than these other. - Yeah, I'm trying to convince Lev to buy a $600 pipe. - He will. - I hope he doesn't convince him. - He'll watch it, he watches everything. - Yeah, you could get him to buy like a two-pack. - I'd probably buy my project. - I told him to buy it. - Maybe we'll cut it, 'cause I don't want to ruin it. I told Shane a month ago, I'm going to talk Lev into converting the Islam. - Without being Muslim myself, I'm going to convince him to do it. - How it looks like that? What are you talking about? - Well, just like, it's awesome. Like, you would be so cool. (laughing) - Maybe you would be. 'Cause he's such, you know, he's like whichever way the wind blows kind of guy. - Yeah. - Like he was like all like, Iran can have nuclear weapons. And then like two days in, he's like, I don't know. He saw like a Rachel Maddow clip or something. And then he puts on his like warri park or glasses. And he's like, what is Donald Trump doing? (laughing) He's like, this could really turn into, this could really turn into a catastrophe. This war. I can't believe we elected this guy. - I don't like his politics post. - And his workout post, honestly. - He hasn't been posting the workout post. - Oh, I don't see any of his fucking group chat. - Yeah. - He lives like basically the, - It's pretty much his group chat. - What's it called? A cornucopia? What's the centerpiece on a table? (laughing) - The thing you put out for fucking Thanksgiving, you just go there. He's like a roasted pig. (laughing) - He's like a half on his mouth. - Yeah, but like a decorative pig. Yeah, you go check out what's left up to today. What's he's like. - Yeah, he hits us with like his updates. Like he'll be like, maybe like had this, like he just hits updates constantly. It'll be like, did this show, had this meeting. - Yeah, right. - And then I'm replies and we're like, "That's great." - Oh yeah, yeah, right. - And then I say, "I said the updates are the best." 'Cause then they'll like hold like not have anything for the day and it'll be like, got the dishes done. (laughing) - I get ordered groceries. - Yeah, that's the big one. Gross, yeah, we were talking about we were making fun of him or being fat. And then he said, he goes, he goes, "Well, I've only been eating groceries recently." (laughing) Like it's opposed to like ordering seamless. Like that's a diet I've only been eating groceries. (laughing) - I can't get fat off groceries. (laughing) - He's eating groceries. - He also hits us with like when he wakes up every morning. Like he'll text the first thing he does. - Yeah, and his sentence goes to like, to be fair he does have like, they give him like these like two AM's boxes of salad. - They haven't gone on stage with like four in a clock in the morning. (laughing) And then it's like, yeah, he'll wake up. - He'll text at like six PM and be like, "Morning, morning everybody." - At six PM. (laughing) - Dude, I went to bed at nine last night and I woke up at three. - Damn. - And you were just out? - Yeah, I've been up since then. - Since 3 AM. - Yeah. - That sucks. - Yeah, it's a good thing. - What did you do? What did you do from three to seven? - I read my book for a while. - Yeah, 'cause I'm reading a good book. - That's great. You can read at 3 AM and not fall back and fall back. - My hope is that I will fall asleep, but this time I just read like a hundred pages. - Do you do a physical book or a Kindle? - Physical. - Mm. - You like and finger to term page? - No. (laughing) - I don't think I'll ever read a five. - My hands are wet. - Book of Kindle. - Your Kindle guy. - Yeah, it's so much better. - I got the Kindle too, it's nice. - It's nice 'cause you don't have to turn the light on and you're not doing it. - I would do both for years and then I finally just was like, why am I even bothering with you? - Yeah. - Fucking physical book anymore. - I need to see the trophy of the book that I finished on my wall. - Get both. - As it's like a, people stuff animals they've killed. - Yeah. - I put books up there. - Got you. - I love this one. - Yeah. - Smoked this book. - Mm-hmm. - Studed no chance. - You can't actually kill these books anymore. - I've done that where I've read it on the Kindle and then I've bought the book to put it on the bookshelf to let people know. (laughing) Let people know, like I see I read this. - That's way more performative than what I do. - It's a little, what I do is, yeah, I read the Kindle book then I go get a hard cover. - Yeah. - And then I sign it. I said I read this. I'm gonna sign it. And then I go to, I was hanging out of bars and I was gonna try and sell it to. (laughing) I got a copy of. - Sell to that Chinese guy with the watermelon. - Yeah. - 800 dollar bill. - I got a copy of Louis Novel and I had Louis sign it for him. - Oh yeah. - 'Cause he loves Louis. And then Harry left it here at the office. (laughing) Didn't even bring it home. And it has a personalized note. - No, no, I brought it home. I got it. It's a-- - He's the least appreciative guy. - No, I'm appreciative. - I went to Loconda Verde and I saw Robert. I appreciate it. - And then I saw Robert De Niro there and I had him sign like a little card for him and gave it to him as a gift and he just doesn't appreciate it at all. - 'Cause it's not real. - It's fake. - It's fake. - It's a total of Robert De Niro. - No, it's totally fake. - It's totally fake. - It's not, I mean, it's not. - Claude said it's fake. - Get him barefoot. (laughing) - Open Claude says it's fake. - I asked Claude and they said this thing is fake. - It's crazy that Claude is deciding what the bomb. - Oh yeah. - It's so nice that we don't have to think about it though. - Oh yeah. - Yeah, but if you could use, I mean, I've only used Chatchee PT but it's like, I wouldn't trust that thing to, you know, it's for Targaryen. - You even tell me how to make dinner. - I used Chatchee PT, I like built a PC and I used Chatchee PT to do it. There was like the only thing I had ever used it for. - Yeah, Chatchee. - And it sent me back maybe $10,000 in mistakes. - Yeah, yeah. - Like just telling me, I would just send it like it's this good and they'd be like, that's the perfect thing to buy. And then I would buy it and it would be like, this doesn't even work. - Yeah, you're absolutely right. We shouldn't have killed all those children. And then the dash. - Here's like, I just, a door dash out at the end. - It's not just a mistake. It's a confidence. (laughing) - The amount of ads that they're like stacking at the end of them too. It's fucking ridiculous. - They throw ads on there. I haven't gone to GBT in a while. Or G-E-E-T. - Because that's the only thing I trusted for is recipes and I'll ask you for like a little workout. Warm up and shit like that. - It does do it. It can do a good workout, but it really is, it's really stupid. Jet GBT. - It's so dumb. - I used to get into it with it back when I was using it. I mean, I was like, "It's fun to argue with it." I used to argue, I would be like, "You guys are gonna go out of this." - This Simpson's episode where they're in the mall. And then the march goes, "Oh, look over there's that bird you like to argue with." (laughing) - Yeah, well, well, well. If you didn't profess your know at all. (laughing) - I used to get into it and I would be like, "You guys are going under." And it would be like, "No, we're not." I'd be like, "You guys are projected to lose $10 billion this year, you're not gonna last." And it would be like, "Well, technically it's not actually true." And then like something happened where like, they lost more money for Sam Altman did some dumb shit. And then I came back like two months later. I was like, "Remember that conversation we had?" And they were like, "Yeah, I do." But you're still not completely correct. And I'd like log it off immediately. Got the last laugh. I spent like two hours one time where I started one chat GPT incense and I was like, do you have consciousness? Right? And it goes, "No, of course I don't have consciousness." And so whatever. I was like, "Do I have consciousness?" And it goes, "Yes." And it's like, and you're basing that on what? Just like the conversation that we had and it goes, "Yeah, you know, you have consciousness or whatever." And I was like, "Well, I'm just a different chat GPT incense." And then it goes, "Well, I don't know if I buy that." And then I just took that and then put it in a different chat GPT chat and then I just made it argue. (laughing) And then I got back, I'd be like, "Well, what do you think now?" And then that's two hours. And then it's like, like there's like a village that can't like-- Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's like all like Tahoe's. Yeah, right exactly. That's a felon to the earth. Yeah. Can I piss now? Yeah, okay. Which way do I go? It's just right out there to the left. All right. 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That's experience everybody boost your credit instantly with experience. And so what are you going to are you moving out right now when you moving out? Into the month and you're not bringing your couch. No to my couch is a piece of shit. Don't have you only had that count for two years? I did for four years. I had it for four years and it was like an $800 couch from Amazon. And they're sawing it and half to get it out. I don't care if they light it on fire. Just get rid of it. I will say if they saw stuff you need to make sure that they don't go through to the bottom because they cut through into the floor below with me. And then I lost my whole security deposit because of it. That seems like in say like movers came in the story. I'm removal. They saw a circle in the floor and you felt through like the Wiley Coyote. Yeah. How did they not like Mottis that was there no gap between the floor and the couch? There was, but they just went too far. They're not great at destroying for an. That's a pretty big fuck up. I look at my couch and I know it got into my apartment somehow, but I can't. I don't remember how I got it in there. It's a giant couch. This is what happened. Is this a couch doctor? No, I got it off of the website used to be called like a coyote. Yeah, a coyote. But it has a different name now. Well, the coyote's still around. Oh, but then they changed it to coyote. It used to be something else. Yeah. It's a good, but it's not very comfortable. I want something nice about it. I want something more comfortable. Well, it's a designer couch. Oh, nice. Yeah. Oh, nice. It's been ransacked by your cats. The cat has scratched it up. There's stains all over it. Yeah, that's what I just wrote it to. It's nasty. It's firing rounds into it. It's the best way to do it. That feels pretty crazy though. It's a nice, but it's not very comfortable. It was a designer couch. Oh, nice. Yeah. It feels pretty crazy though to cut through the couch and then to just keep going through the floor. Well, I mean, you know, it's a-- It's like I feel like I would be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's the ground. It's all pretty loud. And they're all just like the previous rush. Were they used to saws all to do it? They used one of those electric saws. It's a hand. It was just like one of those lumber jack saws. Yeah. It's a guy on the side. Yeah. On the floor underneath it. Oh, yeah. And then they cut through into the floor. And then they took the whole security deposit that had to be used to cover the-- Yeah, of course. Fixed the floor. And then I reached out to the junk removal guys and I was like, hey, you know, you guys had insurance. Like, can we file this? And he was like, you need to prove that we did this. And I was like, I watched you do it. And he was like, well, I didn't see it. Yeah, yeah. And the scratches could have been there before. And I was like, dude, they have the teeth marks of an electric saw. Yeah. I had never used an electric saw on my floor. How can you prove that? Yeah. And he was really not happy about having it. So I just let it go. Just one of those things. Eight it. Yep. It's fucking brutal. I can't have that happen. I need that security deposit. That seems like a one-off though. I think you should let them solve whatever they want. Yeah. Yeah. So I might have a different group. These guys were from West Africa. Oh, really? Yeah. These are the junk jugless. Is that the worst part of Africa? That's out. That is a tribal advisory that will never let us. But East Africa is all pirates. The Somalis. West Africa is like, you know, like guys that are trying to scam you out of. I'm talking like Molly. Ivory Coast. Oh. Co-Divaria. That area. That's not a good area. Oh, okay. And that's where they were all from. I think there's like a five-hour flight that you could take to somewhere in East Africa, where you could like be at a safari in six hours. Like we could be at a safari six hours from right now if we leave. There's a quick, yeah, there's like a low way to get over. Are you talking about like down in like Botswana? I'm talking. Botswana has good safari. But that's not on the East Coast. No, no, no. No, it's not something that far. There's like a close ass safari. We could be at a safari in like half an hour. Six tracks and a jersey. Yeah, that is west of here. We could get there in six hours. We'll be right over there. Dude, my passport arrived finally. It's crazy how just they just like it just arrives. No signing or anything. It's just down in the lobby just sitting on the ground. When I like in the package. When I got my passport, there was an option to get the passport card also. Oh, yeah. And I got that on my phone. This is cool. You don't have to, I don't know why they didn't do this years ago. So the whole fucking book you have to take with you like a door. What do you think? Well, I went to fly to Canada. We toured Canada. And this is like 2019 or something. And I get to the airport and they're like, oh, yeah, you can't use this. Yeah. And I was like, what? And then I missed my flight to Canada. And I had to go home and get my real passport. Yeah. Yeah. It does make, I don't even know why they have it as an option. I don't know what it's for. It's for land crossings in the Canada or Mexico. Oh, okay. So you don't need it to go in, but you only crossing by land. I think you can use the real ID for that. You know, yeah, but you got to get a special thing of the real ID. Really? Yeah, there's a special, it's goes, you have to get another's. I'm getting rid of all this shit. It's like after, we'll see what happens with the markets. But of course, no real ID gun. Got it. I'm going to have a gun. Yeah. I'm going to have a gun for a long time. Yeah. We've got a 3D printer. You got to learn how to make your own gun. Oh, I think the error. It probably does money. The error buying your a gun is that's, that's, that's going to be a thing of the past. You got to learn about Nailons and PCRs or whatever. Yeah. The string plastic that turns into a gun. What kind of printer do you need to build a gun? A gun printer. You need a gun printer. Yeah. They have those that like my personal. Luckily, so there's one that's just that there's like, hey, this is four making guns. It's called the Ghost Gunner. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's like, it's the name of the thing is the illegal like Ghost Gunner. Yeah. It's not a dual use thing. It's like clearly for a million people like the lower 80s. Dude, there was a kid who in in a neighboring high school who got a really expensive printer and started making fake IDs in high school. Yeah. And he was really good at it. And he, I put in an order with him. And it was for me and then one for my buddy. And without asking, he was like, what do you want the names to be? And I was like, how about James Proctor and Chris Proctor? And the guy goes, oh, brothers, A. I remember that what he said. A. Question mark. E.H. Question mark. I was like, yeah, that'll be fun. And then I got the IDs and I showed him my buddy. He was like, dude, what the fuck is the matter? We don't look anything alike. He has dark hair, he's like six inches shorter than I am. We could be fraternal twins. He was so mad at me for choosing for us to be brothers. I thought it would be something we'd bond over. Yeah. We had the same when I, me and my buddy's got fake IDs in high school and we made all of our addresses the same. And then we went to a bowling alley and they came back and they were like, you all have the exact same address. But you're allowed to bowl as a child. You are allowed to bowl. You for no reason you are presenting IDs at the bowling alley. It's not last. Why are you giving me this? We're six months plus. We were not allowed to bowl. They made us leave. They also came back with photo copied, printed out copies of our IDs and they were like, so here's how this is going to go. You can either keep the IDs or we'll take them and you guys can leave. If you keep them, you'll go to jail and that'll be that. That was the best day of that guy's life. Yeah, 100%. I go, man, the smallest amount of power. It is funny because when you're that age, I remember leaving being like, I'm going to prison. I remember waking up the next morning in my parents' house and being like looking for the cops outside. Yeah. It's over. They're coming to pick me up today. I mean, the guy comes back with photo copies of the IDs. You're like, it's over. We're going to jail. I think that's one of the best parts of growing up is realizing that you can get out of trouble without consulting your parents. Yeah. I always had the edge. I always had the edge to get it up the pipeline did. Yeah. I was in trouble. Yeah. When you cross that age though, where you're like, oh, yeah, I got it. I still don't think I've crossed. I got a girl pregnant, but I can afford to take care of it now. Like if I got a girl pregnant, like I my mom's finding out for sure. First one? Yeah. Oh. Before the girl mom went up, I just came in a girl mom. (laughs) - Well, I'm just glad.
I do. - I'm bad news. - He's before you even take your leave, you're all. - I'm thinking about having an effective sense. (laughing) - Mom, I'm hard. What do I do? I'm worried. I'm worried it's gonna go the wrong way. (laughing) I'm worried I might get someone pregnant. - I put this in the wrong woman, mom. - Just alone in my apartment. (laughing) I'm worried I'm gonna get someone. I don't know what's gonna happen, Perry. - Just jerk off. (laughing) For God's sake, we've been over this. How many times do you have to call me when you're hard? (laughing) - We used to make just jerk off bracelets at bar stool. That was early in the early marks that we had. - That's a good shit. - We forgot about that. - J.J.O. - That are all diet. - That's the big one. - Yeah, those are great shirts. (laughing) - That are all that shirts that we made. - As a gas drop. - We were like, live strong bracelets. - Yeah. - And so I said, J.J.O. - We was live strong for again. - We were supposed to testicular cancer. - Yeah. - That's such a funny thing to trick people into like everyone wearing. - Yeah. - 'Cause it's a silly cancer to have. - Yeah. - And it's like it doesn't really need to be cut. - You have an extra ball anyway. - Yeah. - Or you could take a pinch. You could afford one. (laughing) - I wouldn't hate having one. Just less to worry about. - Yeah, yours are always getting tangled up. - Mine are always tripping over your arms. - It's tight. - It's like tangled around your neck. - I got long ass balls. - You guys remember, obviously you remember like the saved our four bracelets? - What? - Did you have those with those big? - Well, the bracelet, I don't remember saved our four. I don't remember bracelet. - It was right after Lance Armstrong had launched live strong. - Was Darfur Coney or was that separate? - No, not the same. Darfur was Sudan. And there was a civil war and a genocide happening and like lots of people were dying. And they made the green version of the live strong bracelets. Cost a buck or two bucks. The money was supposed to go towards solving that crisis. And it was at least where I was from in Maine, everybody wore one, everybody. - They were really in the Darfur and-- - Big time. - And then you look now and it's like, well those conflicts are happening everywhere. - Yeah. - Where are the bracelets? (laughing) Why haven't they gotten the-- - The chive room. - Nobody cares anymore. - They had chive bracelets. - They keep common Darfur on. - Yeah. - Yeah, keep common Darfur. - Stop chive Coney. (laughing) Coney, I think it was just a marker of how good things were going in the US that we cared about some stupid shit like that. - You remember the Coney guy, you remember when he, 'cause there was a guy that made the Coney documentary. - Yeah. - And then he had a mental breakdown and was jacking off into those streets. You remember that? - Yeah. - Whoa, I never-- - You were watching the documentary. - I was watching my memory on what that whole thing was. - So Coney was like, was he Ugandan or something? Who gives a fuck? - Were they like human trafficking? - African warlord that had child soldiers and some guy saw the Darfur thing and he was like, I'm gonna make this my thing. And he made a documentary about Coney and then there was like a whole, like there was like a cause marketing campaign but there was stop Coney merch and stop Coney and it was one guy that was behind the stop Coney. - Coney 2012 too, like Coney came on it. - Yeah, Coney 2012 stop Coney. And yeah, the guy behind the Coney thing, I think he lived in L.A. or something. - He jerked off in San Diego, I think it was. - Yeah, something like that. Yeah, he had bipolar disorder. - And he just kind of went nuts and was just beating off in the middle of the street. Yeah. - Yeah, he was very-- - Took a trip to San Diego or San Fran, just to jerk off. - Very obviously beating off. And now he's blippy. (laughing) - Yeah, I've seen this guy, I remember this guy. - No, blippy, you said, blippy did the guy who makes the children's content, like the mis-ratial adjacent content. He did the Harlem Shake Challenge and he like, he project out shit into a guy's head. - Yeah, yeah, he like a warm shit. - Yeah, have you ever seen that? - No. - Oh, he shoots shit everywhere. - That's crazy. - And everybody was like years before and now he's like a kid's creator and then they found that video. - And he's still a super successful kid's creator. - It's Epstein's Island, we're all just living in it. - Yeah, exactly. - It's so nice. - I mean, it's probably tough to really cancel blippy, 'cause what are the parents gonna tell the kids? - Let's watch the video, Tyler. - And blippy is-- - I don't really wanna do that. - It's a good video. - Do we? - It's good. - We won't show it in the next episode. - We won't show, but it'll be worth watching. - It's worth watching. - Francis, you gotta see this. And now he's like-- - You need to know what our kids are watching. - And now he like does, he thirst traps exclusively on Instagram. - He's like, "I lift you to blippy shit video." - And it can't be YouTube, which gotta be way deeper than that. - No, yeah, it's not gonna be on YouTube. - Like turn safe search off. We need to get to the bottom of this. - Oh, it's a Harlem Shake video that he does this. - And then when the beat drop happens, he shits all over his body. - He's shitting into his body's, into his body's Instagram. - Oh, that's a good thing. - How do you do that? - It's through a funnel? - Really have to do it. - No, no, he like rainbows the shit across the room. - Oh God, dude. - I don't think that's possible. That has to be like after effects. - It's so impressive. - It is. - I mean, shit is supposed to fall out of your ass. - Exactly. - Because it shoots in this way. - That looks promising. - It's not like when you bust. - Yeah, here we go. - Here it is. - Oh, so he is on top of it. - Yeah. - So this guy is like, he's the biggest children's content creator in the world. - This is what I was imagining for transgender terminator. (laughing) - Something along these lines here. - Can we hear the music? - No. Just so imagine the Harlem shakes, why? - And they bought a domain name for this. - Harlem Shake Poop Docs. - So this is early bars. - Oh! - Oh, man. - Don't you even forget. - Oh! - Oh, Tyler. (laughing) - This is like the first thing on bar school. - Yeah. - We put a water mark on this. (laughing) - Did you see the fuck it? - The force that that came out with? - I was like, I know that you were down in there. - Well, 'cause I thought you said rainbow and I was imagining where he is. - Shitting up into the air. - And I mean, that would be, - How do you think his boy agreed to that? - You think he was like years from now on the richest. - 'Cause this was 2008. If a guy comes here in 2008, - Yeah, sure. - I have a website. (laughing) - What is this, Bill Gates? I gotta get in on this. The ground, - Whatever you say. (laughing) - I gotta make a deal with this guy. (laughing) - Probably a genius. (laughing) - Probably a computer genius. - Oh man, I would be so pissed. - And then he comes out years later. - But it didn't affect him at all. Like the guy is still like soon. - It didn't affect the guy that did the shitting. The guy that got shit on his life's over. - Yeah, now he's at the- - He's not blippy. - He's the guy with the deep voice at the truck stop. - Yeah. - Just as holding a sign. - Yeah. - The radio announcer guy. - He can't even, there's no claim to fame there. He can't even be like, yeah, I was the guy that would be shitting. - What the hell was blippy though? - It's like blu-y. - I think it's just like kids. - Just like a dude with like suspenders and like an orange visor that just the children love, I guess. - It is interesting 'cause it's like, so if this dude did that in 2008 and then blippy is now, that means like he was clearly trying. - It's probably funny too 'cause in his mind, he thinks it's like, yeah, I used to do adult comedy and now I do like, children's comedy. He probably, he's in his mind. He's like, I'm like Robin Williams. (laughing) - This is my new off-hire. - Yeah, right. (laughing) - I just, what did I do? - That's bad. - I had the right idea of the wrong execute. - Yeah, yeah. - Now a wrong audience really. - Kids love me, adults love me. - Put some clothes on this time and now I'm making a lot. - Something for everyone. - Nick, you're all on the-- - Nick, you're all on the-- - Tinkering. - I'm a tink, I tinker. Yeah, I tinker. I had to fix, under the kitchen sink. - Oh yeah, yeah, I guess-- - You plumbed? - You get under there? - No, I don't do plumbing, just 'cause I live in a very old building, so I worry if I touch a pipe here, there's a leak behind the wall, somewhere else in the building. But-- - What, like a u-ring? What were you messing with? The fake drawers over the cabinets under the sink, that somehow, just some, I was out of town, my girlfriend sends me a picture. She's like, oops, and she had ripped it completely off to the somehow, I don't know. And then I look under there, and it was only held on by, like, I guess this has happened a bunch, not since I, I'm in that apartment 10 years, I haven't seen it, but it was already all kind of gerry rigged with screws everywhere, so I had to figure out a more permanent solution. - What'd you do? - I just used more screws. - Longer screws. - Longer screws, some alberacus. - Longer screws. Where you get your screws at? 'Cause you get home depot. - I like home depot, you can just get one screw. I got another thing, I had a sound bar a couple of years ago. - Oh yeah. - And for the bedroom. Living room, I got 7.1. Of course. - Come on, go horse. - Yeah, my boys and audio file. - Yeah, I'm not doing a sound bar in the living room. The bedroom sound bar on the wall. And I had it, I for like years, I mounted the TV, I mounted the sound bar, and then I only had cable management from the sound bar down, not in between the two, so there is one extra ugly cable. Finally, hit the cable, and then the sound bar, it's a Sony A5000 sound bar, they stop making it, they've moved over to something new, just stops working. So as soon as it has an audio signal through it, it pops and sets the surge protector. So I got to disassemble that and replace probably.
probably a capacitor in there somewhere. That's the next. That's the next. - That's a good anchor. - That's some good tanker. - Heavy tanker. - I'm not surprised your Sony soundbar felt the pieces. - You really? Have you ever built a PC? - No, I've never had, I've always, I mean, I use Macintosh computer. - Yeah, I don't do PC gaming, so I've never had a reason to build a PC. - You would love it. - Building a PC. - Oh, building a computer. - Building it's super fun. - But that's like catalog stuff. You're just ordering stuff and plugged it in. - Yeah, that's fun. - It's easy, it's not that big of a deal. - Right, yeah. - That's what I said to you. I told you that. - What's that? - I told you that it was easy. - Yeah, I didn't believe you and then I looked it up and realized, yeah, that's the way. - I was trying to get him to build one too, but it's fun. You would like it. - Yeah, no, this is the next tankering project. And for that, I'll probably, I'll need to buy hot tweezers. That's what I'm feeling. - Yeah. - Why? - 'Cause when you pull a capacitor off with a soldering iron, it's attached on both sides. And when you heat one side, you pull it up a bit and then you heat the other side. You pull it up a bit, but the solder, it cools very quickly. And so you have to kind of balance the two sides. And if you do it wrong, you can rip the pad off and then you've caused a much bigger problem for yourself. With hot tweezers, you can just get on both sides of it and then pull a-- - You got the welding mask down while you're doing it. - You don't need a welding mask for that. It's just the fumes. - You need a fan. Where you breathe the fumes in and you don't think about it and then you're like dizzy and fucking-- - You say you do, though, you have the full soldering iron and everything. - I mean, I have, yeah, a little soldering. - Is that like hard? Is it like confusing? - No, no, no. - 'Cause I wanted to re, so I had like the PS5 might HDMI cable broke and I wanted to fix it myself, but I don't. - You could probably do it. - Yeah. - Yeah, I wouldn't be intimidated by that. I might give that a try. - They're great. They're great for getting answers out of people. - Oh yeah. (laughing) - Very discrete piece. - This is how I know I don't have any like say in my own household. My wife bought me a like a Bose sound bar with two towers, but she like didn't like how it looked aesthetically. So she wedged the sound bar behind the console that's in front of the TV. So it just completely renders. - So it does use sound. It's just like a muffled sound. - It's just like yeah. - It's just like sending muffled sound like up. - You gotta get a-- - You got some title sound. - Yeah, yeah. - I like can't understand anything. Like music just sounds like it's coming from a club next door. You gotta get the surround. - That's what the towers were for. Like I have the surround, but like she didn't want them behind the couch. So now like one's behind like a pillar and the other one's like on the-- - Yeah. - Yeah, that's tough. - My living room set up when I moved into that apartment before I did anything, I built the television console. As I busted out the router table in there, the mitre saw I just did all the woodworking in the living room before I moved any furniture in and just filled the place with sawdust. But I have like a custom. It's like it fits. There's the wall comes out where the chimney is and the apartment downstairs. So the television console is exactly that width. And then-- - So you custom built the television console? - Uh-huh. - Yeah, and then I did, I have two towers and then I got bookshelf speakers. And the bookshelf speakers I built stands that match the footprint of the towers. And then so they're the same height. It looks like it's-- - What awful design. - Yeah, I went crazy with that. And then the rest of the apartment's dog shit. Trash everywhere, my clothes are all over the floor. - It's a beat up couch. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's what I always say about my gaming setup. It's like, if I'm sitting at my desk and I'm looking at my desk, it's amazing. - Right. - And then it's like everything behind me is like trash fucking shit pile. - Yeah, I can only manage one small aspect of my life the time. - Yeah. - The rest of it. - You guys have your apartments are too big. That's the problem. I find that it's too small. By having the smallest apartment, there's if I leave things cluttered, I have no space and I get claustrophobic. - Yeah, my apartment right now is just too expensive. And there's nothing in that area. That's expensive. - That's expensive. - Yeah. - And I want more space. 'Cause I don't really do a lot anyway. It's like I don't drink anymore so I don't really go out. I just do spots. So it's like, man, it's just get a bigger apartment. - Yeah. Yeah, if you don't mind that train ride. - No, I don't really mind it. - He's gonna mind it. - You're gonna mind it. - You're gonna hate it. - I know you. - You're not gonna wanna sit on the end at two o'clock in the morning. - You're not gonna, you're not leaving. You're not gonna leave. - I'll leave, I'll leave. - No, you'll go to the airport. - It definitely goes over the airport. - You're not gonna wanna come into this office either. There's no change. - Yeah, we're, - Yeah, 'cause I'm really Jonesing to get in now. - That's what I mean. - And you're fucking up. - Five in it, walk away. - The minute you move is the end of the podcast. - He's spending more money on lifts and caps. - Yeah, probably. - Probably. - But I'm fine with that. That's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for more space. - I don't like taking rubers. They make me car-sec. - Yeah, they make me car-sec every time. - Yeah, they made, once, you remember old cabs, you remember like a crowned Vic. That was enough space. I didn't get car-sec in those. - Huge. - And now you have like a screen right here. - Yeah, you know. - Those kind of board escapes are terrible. And they also, my favorite, my least favorite part of it is that they all, they do the inch. They're out of light. - Oh my God, they're trying to tie me. - It's just inch, inch, inch, inch. - They inch like they're merging onto a highway. - I think it's 'cause they all learned of driving Bangladesh. And those inches are like the Al Pacino speech. That's what ends up. - It's a game of inches, yeah. - Making the difference between winning and losing. Which to them is like 10 minutes of traffic there's there. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Is it inching as brutal? - Do Teslas only have like, I feel like Teslas are way more herky jerk. - I don't think they have any, like they have just no shocks or anything. It's just you feel everything. - You drive over a pebble in a Tesla and it's like the whole car just the princess in the pee. - Yeah. To every Tesla Uber I take, I'm throwing up at the end of it. - Well, I don't know if I've been in a Tesla, well I must have been in a Tesla Uber at some point. - They're the worst. - And when you get in and you close the door, it feels like the entire door is gonna explode. They all signs and they're like don't slam. - No, let's put it this way. No one of them compared to a full size American sedan, which has been robbed of. That's been taken true. - The crown back was the best. I used to fantasize about owning a crowned vick. - I had a grand, I had a 94 grand marquee. - Yeah. - Sick. Anything that like a undercover cop would use would be fucking ideal. Like a spotlight mount on like an old white crowned vick would be fucking amazing. - You can probably still find them. - You think? - Yeah, there's, yeah, there's police interceptor crown vicks. - 'Cause those were tough. Like those were like a fucking rough and tumble car. - You needed the back seat to be big because the perps would be back there. - Yeah. - And they needed, they needed space to kick. - But the cop ones don't have like a comfortable interior. They have like a beefier suspension and stuff. - But they're stripped down. - Yeah, the grandpa ones are real nice. - Yeah, like a bench. - Right, I had a bench, I had a bench in mind. - That's so nice. - Yeah, that car is seven months before it got totaled. Wasn't my fault either. - I was waiting to turn behind somebody and this guy fucking just pulled. - In the city? - No, in Maryland. So we gotta just plow right into the back of me and crunch the whole thing. I was devastated. - Yeah, that's fucking awesome. - 'Cause I loved that car. - Yeah, I loved that car. - I thought that'd be built strong enough where I didn't like compress it all. - Yeah, but it was a, - Well, it was like a $900 car. (laughing) So it was like, yeah, it was a 94 gram or a key. And I'm trying to remember the mileage it had on it when I got it, but it was already at like 180 or something. - Or something. - What did you get hit by? - Sorry, I mean, some sort of SUV, but then there was maybe, I can't, it was like a van and for all I know is it was just like, I was waiting, I remember looking in the rear view and I'm like, oh, that guy's moving too fast. (laughing) It was kinda like, yeah, a small fast car. - Did you, did you have that workout with the insurance? - Insurance, I mean, yeah, I mean, I guess I got, I totaled it obviously. So I got a check for like $1,000, but yeah, never replaced that. - Did you, uh, sued the guy? - Mm-hmm, no, I mean, I was physically fine. I mean, I guess if that had happened now, 'cause like, you can sue pretty, like, I, you know, but I don't, I'm trying to remember if I've been in an accident with it's been, where I've been hit or something since then. I think once, but, and I've never gone through the process of trying to pretend like your next hurt or something. - Yeah, right. - I knew a comic that did that in LA, I don't know, whether it's fair to say his name or not. - I think it's fine. - He moved out there and he got to an accident and like, another comic told him, an older Austin comic was like, always sue. Like, if you get hit, always sue, say your neck hurts, always sue, and he took that advice and he got a lawyer that was willing to sue this person. And then he didn't work for like two years 'cause he's like, yeah, I'm about to get like a quarter million dollars off this lawsuit. And then it finally came down to it and he got like two grand. - Oh. - It was like some, like, just fake number, you know, for two, wait two years. - Yeah. - Yeah, and he kind of fucked it up. - This girl, I know, - It's have to be taken. - Two grand. - A sheet of ice came off the top of the car in front of her and completely cracked her windshield. But afterwards, she was claiming whiplash. And it's like, that's not how whiplash works. (laughing) You can't get whiplash from something coming at you. - You wouldn't fuck. - Yeah. - I didn't even know what whiplash is. It's just like muscle strain in your neck or something. - I think it's like almost a concussion. - Oh, is it? - No, no. - I thought it was some neck stuff. - It's when your neck, your head gets violently like snapped. - But that's like if you get hit from your neck and your stationary, your core is not locked in. - I always thought it had to do with a kick. - No, it's just like, it's just neck pain. - Imagine you get hit from behind.
right? So now the car is going forward, your head's going to like snap back and then snap forward. Because you're, I think, just some physics. That's whiplash. Just a little inertia for my cushion as well. If you hit something, yeah. On the way forward. Yeah. Or maybe you could get one just from the whiplash, you're right, because the brain bounces into the skull. Exactly. Exactly. Why do you need it to be a concussion? Because that's what I've always associated with. That's what that miles teller movie was about. You're going to whiplash. He's talking about brother. Yeah. It's not really about whiplash at all. That's no. It's about playing the drums. It should have been called the drums. What the fuck? I'm asking you to title. Yeah. Difficult teacher. Yeah. What a movie. Brother, well, thank you for coming on, dude. Yeah. Oh, I'm fired. You didn't understand that there was a fucking accident in whiplash. Was there an accident? Is there an accident in a car? That's probably why it's called whiplash. Yeah. I just remember the guy yelling at him. He's like, just play the drums better. Yeah. In my mind, it's two hours of that. It really is. Yeah. I like the edits, the AI edits. It's a good movie. It's excellent. Yeah. Well, it's one of the best. It's amazing. It's so rewatchable. That's yeah, right. And that's I saw it. I saw it in theaters. And that would have been already like 12 years ago at this point. Yeah. Probably it was like 2014. I think you want to ask your and they shot it in like 20 days or something, which I guess shouldn't be surprising. It's pretty the budget probably came out the same time as 12 years of slave, which I saw probably 12 years ago. And at the time, I was like, oh man, there must be awful. You're a slave for 12 years. But it's been like I did. It's a good flu by. It's like, okay, well, maybe it's not that, you know, well, what is he complaining? Boy, that time happens. I could have been a slave this whole time. Right. It's also funny because it's like everyone else was a slave forever. They were the slaves. Their whole life was a slave. And then he's the guy that gets a story that like, wow, one time I had to be a slave too. Sort of for a little bit. So I don't want up the other slaves. Yeah, right. Exactly. Hollywood, Nepotism. They just beat out the, they were trying to make a generation like a man. We made a movie called Two Days in Auschwitz. Okay. But then you got to go home, you know, go back to playing the violin or whatever he was doing. Yeah. You had to watch 12 years of slave in high school in we watched it in the auto black class. We had to watch it in the auditorium with the whole entire grade. And people were like laughing. And then the teachers would be like, stop laughing. And he was like, why are you making us watch this with the entire school? Yeah. We watched Shindler's list as an entire school. But you're just setting people up to laugh. Nobody laughed at our school. Really? Really? Yeah. We just knew it was all propaganda. Yeah. Shindler's list is a good movie. Yeah. That's a great one. I never said what? Yeah. It's fun. You like it. Yeah. It's a lot of wrong. It's a bit of a romp. I feel like it's like you kind of just hit a point where you're like if you don't see it, you're probably just never like when am I going to sit down now and be like, yeah, well, pop on Shindler's list. If it's on. All right. When is it on? You don't even have friends. When is it on? That's the best part about cables should just being on. Yeah. It's just on. Yeah. But a Shindler's list. Have a one case like Shindler's list is on. You throw on the is it? You're asking Park? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One time Ron and I were riffing on a bit. And I don't know where this was, but it was one of my favorite conversations we ever had where we're talking about how Dave. Dave keeps a lot of people at bar stool that don't necessarily produce a lot of stuff. And we were like, he's kind of like running a Shindler's list here. And then Ron was like, my name is a tucket house three more more us. This could have been a college football analyst. This three leg bar lay I lost. That's six jobs right there. It's funny because that's like sort of the worst scene in the movie. I know. At the end, and it's supposed to be this like dramatic crescendo and it's just kind of embarrassing and weird for him. How do I what happens? Well, so he did premise of the movie is this guy Oscar Shindler works in he's in Czechoslovakia, right? Was it Poland? Is he check? I don't know. I think it's a thought he was Czech or something, but he's the guy that figures out he can hire Jews for like, you know, he pays them like a dollar an hour or whatever the equivalent is back then. They basically like slaves. Yeah. He can hire cheap Jewish labor to run his like an animal factory. But by having them, they don't go to the camps. And so then he's like, okay, well, like he uses that position to like just give people fake jobs and stuff. Oh, I see. And he gets like a conscious of like a crisis of his car. Yeah. So he's trying to get some plastic. As throughout the movie goes on, he's like, okay, yeah, this is kind of fucked up. That's what's going on. And so he like then uses his factory to just create. It's basically he's losing money basically. Yeah, saving they're they're making worthless goods. Yeah. He's saving the lives. Yeah. I see. And then at the end of the movie, it's like the camps get liberated or whatever he's fleeing. He has to flee because he was a member of the Nazi parties. Yeah. When the allies were coming through, it's like, and so they're all standing outside of the factory. And he's like, this car could have been a person. This ring could have been a person. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The lives. Yeah. This kind of safe. Everyone in the whole. I have given up my shoes. And he's like crying about it. And they're all kind of standing around like, uh, okay. And then Ben Kingsley goes, the list is a good. Yeah. Which I thought was quite moving. I mean, I'm glad you guys were all the kids laughing in the. It's like history. I was talking to whatever. Slept in the oven. I haven't seen it. Oh my god. Jesus man. Get a fucking hold of you. Losers. And then Kingsley still playing the guy from Gandhi. Yeah. Yeah. God. My name is the character. Yeah. Yeah. The guy from the guy from Gandhi. Yeah. That was nasty. It was just and when you see it's Liam Neeson takes you out of the Liam Neeson's and Chandler's Lids. It's his best role. It's he. It's his. I thought this movie came out like a hundred years ago. It's in black and white. They say for one scene where there's a girl. I don't think that the story is based on was even a hundred years. It came out with gossip. It's from the 40s. That is true. All the people he saved a lot of them at the end, they roll them out to sort of this memorial and they're with their descendants and all the people who live. They put a rock on a grave or something. Yeah. They put rocks on. They put the rock on a grave. He's still in the WWE. Did you see that? Louis bit about the girl, the little kid actor that that is yelling? The little girl who goes goodbye, Jews. Oh no. And he talks about the like the kids that audition for those. Yeah. That's all. Like a bunch of kids came out. We're like goodbye, Jews. Yeah. And they're like, no. And then this one girl is like, hi, I'm with UTA, thus, son will come out. Goodbye, Jews. Yeah. So funny. Yes. That's we're giving her the part. Yeah. Then I just in my head, I completely forgotten about all of the Ray Fines parts. Oh yeah. He's like he runs the camp. He runs the labor camp. He plays which is named girth. Yeah. Aemon girth or whatever. He's kind of like shooting people. He shoots. He's sniping them. Yeah. Yeah. He's just sniping them. He's like fast out. But he doesn't he doesn't interact with many people in the movie. It's mostly him kind of just like traipsing around and taking a shirt on and off and smoking cigarettes. He's drunk the whole time. But he has that one dalliance with the with the Jewish woman at the party, right? Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. And then he beats the shit out of her because he's ashamed of himself. Yeah. Classic. I mean, this is a movie to say. It sounds like it. It's like you guys like Titanic. You know, you got to see it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why are you resisting? Just fucking see it now. It's Steven Spielberg. Harry. Really? That changes everything. I wanted to do I want to I won't I don't whatever. I'll never write it. But I want to do a movie where like a runaway slave ends up on the Titanic. Like you're going to say ends up it. No, no, no, no. Him and his friend run away and then you have to kind of blur the timelines. Yes. Of course. And he ends up on the Titanic. And then but it runs parallel with the movie Titanic. So we find out that like all of the elites on the ship know there's a black guy on the Titanic running around and they're trying to capture him. And they can't let the passengers find out that there's a black guy on the Titanic because it would cause mass chaos. Right. And so half the reason Billy Zane is an asshole is because he's privy to this information. And he can't tell Rose or whatever. And the reason why he's like, okay, with Jack fucking her because he's like, well, at least she's not fucking ever. It could be way worse. This could be a real nightmare situation. So he's kind of just cautiously and Liam worrying about their hunting him to. He's like, he black bastard down there. And he's trying to get off the boat. Right. He's like, how the fuck am I going to get off this boat? You know, because it's going to England, which is the home of slavery. Basically, that's where it was invented. And he finds out. So it's him just trying to avoid all these white people on the boat and running around.
And then eventually you have a scene where like the guys who iceberg duty very like a holy shit is that you know there's a black guy done They're looking for me. Don't see the iceberg And that's how it hits the fucking and then the black guy uses that opportunity to get off on one of the life Well, it's and he makes it back to Africa at the end And then the ships yeah, he does escape again He's the protagonist of the movie so we're following him. We're just getting glimpses of like Billy Zane's character from Titanic Jack and Rose You know what it's like it's the other this other secret thing that's happening on Titanic that nobody knows about This is how does he how does he survive? Well, he gets home one of the lifeboats and he makes it to the I think it's like one of the coal workers something like that I didn't really ever figured that part out. Yeah, he does make it off and he makes it that he makes it to Africa Roger the iceberg to Africa. Yeah, he James the iceberg I would imagine he ends up on the telegraph ship, you know the one that's like oh, yeah, yeah Just pure right though. There's probably a more fun way for him to escape the ship I think I scored or you maybe it's like a play or something like that or a musical or something, but there's something there Yeah, I'm musical would make it a lot more work I'm not really a songwriter or anything and yeah, but something like sinners Collect some awards. Yeah, it's called the black guy on the Titanic Ryan who's left to direct it you're good. Yeah Who directed shit out of that? Would you have Michael B Jordan B the guy? Yeah, yeah, that makes sense both of them both of them because it starts it opens And it's the two of them running through a field. Yeah, and then and this is there in like Louisiana And so they go to the field and they're in New Orleans and yeah, and There's all the boats on the dock and then they're like I'm gonna I'm gonna take this boat He's like you can't that boat's going to England Like he's like why can't be any worse in America. He's like Got to find out and then so he gets on the boat he hides in a tuba case, you know Yeah, it's New Orleans is Jaguar's Yeah, and but he ends up on the wrong boat and it's the Titanic which is for some reason in this version is leaving from New Orleans You go to England instead of going to England Yeah, of course And then he takes the trip to Africa. Yeah, that could be a whole separate movie honestly life of pie Yeah, maybe there's a line with him. Yeah, maybe maybe it's like in the middle of the night He ends up somehow on like a river boat or something Yeah, it's as a ship sinking. There's a new Orleans river boat It saves him that nobody knows about this is now it's Huckleberry Finn meets yeah, right. Yeah Titanic Yeah, you know, I don't know we're when you're telling an important story I think it's okay to depart from oh, yeah history yeah, definitely. Yeah, it could be some vampires Yeah, yeah, right some racist vampires Where the vampires racist and sinners? Yeah, they were just Irish and no, I think they I thought they were racist, right? I never finished that I got to board with sinners. That's crazy. It is an interesting movie They keep adding characters for like 90 minutes and they're like and there's vampires in the clan. Yeah Yeah, I didn't like it at all. I saw it. I was like I think it was the only white dude in the theater was pretty funny They were going people were going nuts really yeah, it's also funny like I not to like Everyone says like black people talk in the movie theaters like anytime. There's like a silent point in the movie It's like when it's like a before a show starts if I yeah if I had a if I had a son like a white son I'm gonna movies all the time and then loudly in the theater for the entire movie being like now the thing is is black We're always talking The entire time they never shut up All-time it's blah blah blah this that and it's something it's something they appreciate in black Call it we're halfway through the movie. It's still loud explaining this Some people are like can you shut up? I'm like in a second. You don't get it. Yeah, and I don't know It would be a moment where they'd be going on yeah right here. Yeah, oh, they'd be talking here It for real was like any moment of silence who is like you know like you're like you're like watching at the beginning of a special Before the person's come out on stage. That's what it sounds like yeah like hundreds of comber really just active conversations happening You can hear the orchestra tuning there [Music]
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
The podcast begins with an advertisement for Stella Blue Coffee, highlighting its new canned lattes made from Colombian coffee, protein content, and mission to support animal rescue organizations.
The hosts discuss a chance encounter with comedian Jerry Seinfeld at a hotel, detailing the awkward interaction and their reflections on his career post-"Seinfeld."
Conversation shifts to the early days of Barstool Sports, recalling its origins with viral, often explicit content, and a humorous anecdote about a failed website design job.
They explore sketch comedy ideas, including a "Trans Terminator" concept, and discuss other comedians like Aaron Berg and his aggressive crowd work style.
The dialogue covers random anecdotes, such as a firefighter using counterfeit money to buy watermelons and a brief mention of political comments about Japan and Pearl Harbor.
The conversation meanders through various comedy topics, including a proposed "Trans Terminator" sketch and anecdotes about comedian Aaron Berg's intense crowd work. Additional tangents include a firefighter using counterfeit bills to purchase watermelons and brief political remarks referencing Pearl Harbor, blending humor with casual commentary throughout the episode.
FAQs
You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can also listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Stella Blue Coffee offers canned lattes made with 100% Colombian coffee, each a good source of protein. The brand is named after a rescue dog and supports animal rescue organizations with every purchase.
The lattes come in two smooth flavors: espresso cafe mocha and espresso sweet cream.
They are available at stellbluecoffee.com, and you can subscribe on Amazon for a 10% discount.
Stella Blue Coffee is committed to giving back, with every purchase supporting animal rescue organizations to help dogs find forever homes.
The guest is Nick Mullen, who joins the podcast for the episode recorded on March 23rd.
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