New Parents | "The Ride" with Director Jon Huertas (509)

On today's episode of That Was Us, we are diving into season 5 episode 9, The Ride. As new parents bring their babies home, this episode explores the fears, hopes and expectations that come with the start of a new chapter for every Pearson family. Across timelines, it's a reminder that The Ride Home is where everything begins. You've got a chance to do the ride home because they were born at the hour. Even though we're grown adults who have had drivers license for many years, in our case, it was my husband behind the wheel. I'm in the back with the baby and every time you're just sort of like, careful about that right here, you're just like just being a real backseat driver. Did it become less with each baby? Yes, and also I think for us, I'm not sure. They look the baby drive home. Yeah, by the third one, they're just like, she's not driving. Let's go, Lula. My experience was always, you know, being in the hospital was lovely, but by the time you hit that 24 hour mark, which they like to keep you for, you're just sort of like, I am ready to go especially 24 hours at least for monitoring before they release the baby. Most of the time, this is like maybe a cedar's policy. I'm not sure if it's every hospital. The first baby, great. The second baby, you're like, I want to get home to my other baby. And then the third baby, you're just like, I have two kids that are waiting for me. Right, the third baby, you're like, can I stay here for two days? Yeah, totally. What if I stayed there 48 hours? You can help me. So you're just sort of like, by the time you get that jailbreak and you're out in the car and you're driving home, you're like, oh, thank God, I was so ready to get out of that. Do you think it's a psychological evaluation to because I remember the two of us showing up at the hospital, you show up a certain way. Oh, especially on your first baby, because you're like, you're, you're panicked, you're excited, you don't know how this works. And so the nurses are like, of course, have seen it all. And they're trying to calm you down, like, no, have you seen the birth plan? I've got plans. I've got candles. I have a side of a music list. And I play it at a certain time. And so the 24 hour waiting period is just to make sure you've calmed down. Like after you have the baby, are they still? Can we send them home with the child? Yeah, yeah. So for us, it was the midwife's there with Andrew or the first, the most harrowing part of the night was Rye needed a few stitches. And she said, you go stick what where? And it took her like 45 minutes to get the nerve to get the stitches, right? And like, he laid-- He was wild. She just pushed out of baby. So he's laying on my chest while the midwife is like straddling on top of her on the other side of the bed and sowing her up. Digging her nails into browns foil. Wait, the midwife is straddling her. Yeah. So she's sitting on her chest. Not on her chest. On her legs. Like on her legs. Or like, or say, her legs are open and she's in between rides. Like straddling on her legs. She's in between rides. Right. And pay me a picture. I really want to know what I'm looking at. Let me close my eyes. Exactly. Exactly what I'm looking like. He's on the chest taking his first nap on Dad. Her legs are open while the midwife is in between. And her arms are-- And I'm like, I'm trying to rest. And I was like, I got you, sis. And I was like, this hurts. But I understand you going through a lot. And then they do it. And then they go, OK. We're going to go now. We're going to leave. And you're like, wait, what? For real, for real? We don't know what we're doing. They're like, yeah, we're going. OK. And then it was just us. And it's like, the baby was born in 223 in the morning. By the time we got to about 350, almost 4 o'clock, everybody was gone. It was just like, here we go. There's the one thing I knew about was, is it maconium? First, movement. The tar. Very sticky. The tar like stuff. The tar like stuff. I slathered his butt with coconut oil or whatnot. So I could like, before it came out, so I can make sure to get it all up. So I took care of that. I felt pretty confident about it. And then there's just this amount, immense amount of worry. And like, I have no idea what I'm going to do. And there's this fatigue. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, she's been up, pushing the baby out of her body. Yeah. You're sort of like helping or whatnot. And then you're like, oh, man, you try to go to that first nap. And then the first cry, somebody got to get up. Yeah, your adrenals are shocked. That's so much. It's a real time to be very kind to each other. Yeah. Listen. And nobody ever is as kind as they necessarily need to be. So this is for folks who may be going through it in the future. Be nice to each other. It's a crazy time. For both of you. It's wonderful and awesome and insane and everything all at once. Yeah. I was not happy with this first part of this episode. It was like exhausting me. Watching everybody with the baby. All the different babies and the bringing them home and the car rides. I was like, this is, this was, it was too much for my nervous system to bring you back to. Can I also tell you guys selfishly, I've been watching these last few episodes with the realization that it was leading up to right before I took my maternity leave. Sure. So I was about to be a first time parent. And just the weird coincidence that these episodes, this and the next episode are really sort of centered around parents and like first time parent, I guess in two cases, first time parents and then Toby and Kate as well. It's just like, it's so funny to me. And I'm like, wow, I really didn't know. I didn't know what I didn't know. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know anything that was going on. And it's just so funny to see myself now on the backside on the backside, like watching Mandy as Rebecca. Talk to the nurse about, you know, when she's like, you could take everything you want. And the, you know what I mean? Yeah. As we're preparing to leave for that first drive and the car seats and Jack and all of that is really funny. I think I, I filmed this episode and John were to us direct to this episode. And then I filmed my tiny little, I just had like a little portion of the next episode in 510. Okay. And I think I filmed all of that. So then I could have like a little bit of an extended break. Like I went back like a month after I gave birth. But yeah, it was just a funny coincidence that this is what these episodes happen to be talking about too. Was there any strange sort of priming in terms of all this stuff that you had gone through before on camera in terms of what was about to happen in life? Did any of it feel like it related to like real life for you? No. No. And I think because we jumped around in time so much, you know, it's like we didn't live in any one time period for too long. So like, I think maybe if I had done the baby, all the baby stuff like more recently, maybe it all would have. We should have sent Gerald McCraney to the hospital to meet you. That's what we should have done. Yeah. That would have felt familiar. You guys. Yeah. Because the guy who was there. Uh-oh. Not great. Yeah. There's a whole other sidebar. I'll tell you all the camera. Okay. But I will say because I also wanted to have a home birth. Yeah. I ended up not being able to because I had this platelet issue anyway. So I ended up in the hospital, but it just meant at the last minute my whole birth team had to change. Yeah. And so there was, I wanted to have, um, midwiffic care. Yes. At the hospital. At the time. Midwiffic. I know midwifery. Yeah. Midwifery. Midwiffic. Oh, okay. So the, the one at the time midwife that was able to have like, um, practicing like privileges or whatever, um, cedars had to work in conjunction with a doctor. Yeah. And the doctor I did not like. And like, I remember being in the throes of like pushing. So it's like, I'd have a contraction. I'd put my feet up on the bar and I was like pushing so hard and it was like holding onto the, the little like whatever the thing is called it. Like you're pulling yourself up and I remember, yeah, like some sort of battle route was like a scarf. I like it. Um, and I remember distinctly looking at him. And he was on his phone, scrolled like on CNN dot com. I'll never forget. I was like, am I bothering you? And then I remember distinctively another time during labor. Wow. He, I, I'm like in like in between contractions. And he's like, you know, they have a lobster truck outside today. And, and the midwife was like, oh, really? And he's like, me. I mean, this is taking a really long time and I'll think I'm going to be able to get one. And I was like, I remember physics because it's very me to be like, I'm so sorry. I'm, I'm so sorry. Like I just, I felt bad, like I was wasting his time. You serious? Yeah. Should have hit him in the chest with a baby. I'll say it. I wish I could have. This, this feels like an apt time to say it and I'll say it for you. Men. What's up? Yeah. What's up? I was like, maybe you don't need to be doing this anymore. Yeah. You could retire and go have your lobster roll, whatever you choose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to do your storyline first? Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - So Jack and Rebecca are taking baby's home. The nurse is talking about, again, gives that sort of like, you know, I'm gonna turn a blind eye, which by the way, I don't know if you had that experience. I think they love the nurses and postpartum. - They like hooking you up. - They really love to hook you up, which is very sweet. - I do this much when we went to the hospital for the first, for the first baby, for birth. We had taken those birthing classes, yeah? But we took them on Zoom. - Okay. - With this woman who was incredible, but was a complete character. Like a, like if Frances McDormott was teaching birthing classes, she was talking about people's vaginas. And she was like, she was, she had people up on their knees and men were like, I was like massaging Rachel's hips on Zoom. - So what are you doing? - Yes, man. - Pressing them together. And she's like, really a real, like a real Frances McDormott. Like literally the woman had a cat sitting on her shoulder at one point. - Oh my god, I love it. - I love it. - But she told us about the nursing staff. And about how sometimes you'll get a staff that's a little tired or a little jaded or a little, you know, whatever. And she's like, so just do you take care of them? They'll take care of you. So we showed up, I showed up with a five pound box of candy. - Did you read? - Did you read? - Oh yeah. - Oh yeah. - Oh yeah. - Like I was like, how are you doing? Room two E. - Ladies. - I brought Starbucks gift cards. - Hell yeah. - Did you see? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - You gotta grease those palms. - I feel you. - But also just like, yeah. A man's gratitude that is a real angel of women that are in the world. - Yeah, it's our first time. I, Rachel had gotten into this. I hope I'm not blowing up her spot too much. She had gotten into this breathing. She was gone. Like she was like. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - And? - The hypnobreeving. - The hypnobreeving, yeah. - And so when, when we rolled her in. When we rolled her in, she was in about a 20, 30 minute process. I was going. - No. - Yes, I was like, it's long. - And when I rolled her in, you could see that the nurses were like. - First time baby. - Yeah, first time baby. (laughing) - First time baby. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - We've been here before. - They were like, oh, you know, just right over here to this little bed. - Yeah. - We've seen this, we've seen it all. - But she had already been through like nine hours of labor at home. She was all she had left was the breathing. - Yes, sir. - Yeah, hold on. - Well, so we see Jack and Rebecca, you know, they're getting ready to take the baby's home. Car seats don't have a manual. By the way, I remember these car seats on set. So it was like buckets. - Right, they're just buckets. - Yeah. - They're like hung over the back of the seat. - Kind of yeah, there's no real, there's no seatbelts back then, really. - There's no seatbelts back then. - When was the very first car seat required by law? That's what I was saying. - We had a conversation, which I don't remember now, it's five years ago, but yeah, they were literally just buckets. And so him trying to finagle how to figure out the car seats and stuff. - Especially in 1980, would they have been forward facing or would they have definitely been rear facing? And I feel like, I feel like everything was for the convenience of the parents. He's like, I wanna see my baby. - 1978. - Tennessee. - Tennessee. - More for four runners. - It's only 10 I see, so the next five, yeah. - I mean, I guess just the simple premise of like, mom and dad cannot hold three babies on the way home. So it's like, let's get these, let's figure it out. - You guys were ahead of the curve. I think with three rear facing baby seats for 1980, you're ahead of the curve, for sure. Jack Pearson doesn't have a manual, 'cause he's Jack Pearson. - Jack Pearson. - She doesn't need a manual. - Oh, man, of the 1900 neighbors. - But of course, he gets out there and is like, woefully, under-prepared, can't figure it out. Are they backwards? I think like a police officer. - They're weird, 'cause you can't see them. - Totally. But the police officer comes over to him or something, security guards, like I think they're backwards. And anyway. - Also, also this whole, this trope of the car seat thing, I was a little offended. - You can figure it out. - You're an egoist. - Come on. We all, my wife gave me great fun with the car seat. - They're not that hard to figure out. - And not that easy. - Oh no. - Well, they're all different, too. - They're all different. - Listen, I wound up putting it in fine. But like, she was not pleased with how I'd put it in. So oftentimes she will go back behind me and do it the way that makes her most, I see. - Yes. - Fair enough. - Fair enough. - I'm not mad at it. I was like, right, I've done the best I can. You need to do something. - You see that Rebecca is just inherently worried. They're on this drive home. She keeps looking back. - Taren stitches. You like that stitch. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she's like, every time she turns, she's, yeah, she's in abject pain. It's like, it's, it's, it's, it's, can Kate breathe, there's Kevin's head okay, slumped over, he's really, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's a fall off. 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I mean, I'm pretty sure I eat one a day at least, at least at least one. - Sometimes there are meal replacements, sometimes there are just delicious snacks, but honestly, if I'm craving like a tasty sweet treat, I'm not going to go to a cookie anymore because I want to get my protein. I want to make sure I'm getting my daily protein intake up. - 28 grams of protein. - Bam, right? 150 calories, zero grams of sugar. These are big numbers and little numbers, right where you want them. - Yeah, man. You can go to their website. You can go right now. David is now available at Walmart stores nationwide on walmart.com where you can try a single bar for only $2.97. - $2.97. - $2.97. - We love our chocolate chip cookie dough. We love our peanut butter chocolate chocolate salted peanut, honestly, anything peanut butter. - Right, velvet for your boys kind of nice cake batter. It's all stupid and delicious. - And don't just take our word for it. Go grab one for yourself. Head to Walmart today to try a bar or stock up on four cartons of your favorite flavors, like blueberry pie and salted peanut butter, sold exclusively at Walmart. Check out walmart.com to find a store near you. - Um, so I think like, you know, Jack's obviously being careful. He's driving carefully. Someone ends up like cutting them off, and that sets him off, right? They like pull into a gas station because they need to get gas, but that's coincidentally also where this car is going and kind of like cut right in front of them to get into the gas station. And Jack like jumps out of the car, in full, like old school Jack mode, like ready to bite this guy's head off. - Let me say this. - Yeah. - Ryan, I have this thing, like because people will cut you off, and I cut people off. I'm sure. And when you cut people off, you're like, my bad. And then when people cut you off, you're like, no, no, no, no. And I want you to die. And Ryan gets, this reminded me of this interaction between Rebecca and Jack. When somebody cuts me off, I make it a point to drive right next to them, for about 30 seconds and just eyeball them. And Ryan Michelle is like, Sterling, will you please stop? I said, I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing anything at all. I'm just letting them know I'm here. And she's like, you just need to keep going. I said, I'm going. I'm moving at the same speed that he's he is, and he's going to look over and see me and know that he made a mistake, and he won't do it again. And she's like the whole time, like, please just drive. Please just drive. I'm not dog. Anybody. It's just the person that cut you off. You need to let them know. They made a mistake. They made a mistake. Yeah. And she's constantly like, because I'm not going to do anything. I'm not going to get out of it. If they look over and go, my bad, I keep going. Then I'm on my way, I need to acknowledge me too. Yeah, I need the acknowledgement or what happens to the friendly wave when you let someone in in front of you? Sure. I wave anyways, when I let them in, they don't wave. I will. You do the friendly, like, got it. You're welcome. You're welcome. I do say you're welcome. Yeah. Even if they don't say thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're welcome. But it was interesting because you were so like he had this instinct to harm or hurt someone who was about to hurt his family. And you were just like, I need everybody here. Yes. We're family. Doesn't matter what's happening out there. We have three newborns now. This should be our only concern. Sure. We're okay. Doesn't matter what almost happened. We're fine. Right. Jackson's fine. Let me just get a quick shot. Yeah. Totally. So he goes into pay for the gas. He goes into pay for the gas and he's like, and also I'm going to take a- More of those whiskeys. Yeah. We can get one of those whiskeys. Can't get some of those men's too. Yeah, men's too. You remember this wife? She had some nuts for this chick who just had three babies. She had some protein. She needs a little snack on the way home. For sure. For sure. She must be hungry. Three kids. Two celebrating. Two kids. Just some nuts in a whiskey place. It was this moment you saw the guy was hawking from behind him a white man. And we had a minute of like literal white knuckling on the on the steering wheel before because you know he was it was coming to the surface. Yeah. As he goes into the place, he has his drink. He throws it in the trash, probably pops him in, comes back to the car and thankfully we showed some level of responsibility on the show and be like, "Hey, you know what? Maybe you should drive. You know, you're okay to drive?" By the way, no. No. No. Right. I did question that. I was like, "I know this is a story point, guys, but I don't think a woman who just had a cesarean would be allowed to and/or drive." Yeah. Also hot take. I don't think Jack Pearson would ever let his wife who just had a cesarean. I don't think in 1980. Yeah. A man who's just had a shot of whiskey is going to be worried about driving. Probably. He would be less concerned about that, more concerned about his wife who just had three babies. Yeah. It would have been the end of our show if they had let him drive home. Probably. Probably. We had a civic responsibility to 2000, whatever. Yeah. You know what I'm saying to be like, all right, we didn't put them in the driver's seat. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But fine. There are very few times that I take slight objection with what the show does. Sure. I don't know where I was like, did you vocalize it to who was a writer? John. Well, I didn't. Maybe to Julia. Okay. I said something to John. But you said it to John. Yeah. And John was like, what'd you want me to do? Yeah. I know. It was kind of like, well, this is the way it's written. Yeah. I think it would be, you know, text down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've had a couple of text dance. Yeah. But we won't get into it right now. But very few and far between where you have like a very strong point of view on something that you're like, I fundamentally disagree with this thing. It was mostly with the arguments, season three, between Randall and Beth, where they wanted Randall to be cute in a moment. And I was like, he's cute all the time. He's pissed right now. Just let him be mad. Yeah. Just let him be mad. And they're like, well, how about we do one take? No. Because that's what they'll use. Yeah. Yeah. That's probably like the one that rings in my head. Yeah. But besides that, we're good. Yeah. So Rebecca drives them home. They get back to their house, the babies are asleep. So they decide like, you know, you never wake up sleeping, baby. Right. They're just waiting there. Yeah. Yeah. This is a dad move, I think, or let's say sterling, and I've never had three at the same time. You roll the windows down. You let them sit in that car. You put the monitor there. I go in the house and do my thing and I hear them cry and I come back out and I get them. Yeah. I just let them sleep. Yeah. Is that a dad thing or is that like, no, no, no. Yeah. I've stayed in the car before. It's like, oh, I pulled up at home or wherever we're going in their sleep, especially at that age where you're just like, I need to let them sleep. They need this nap. Exactly. When we first moved out here, our friends had like a three story building that they owned and we lived on the second floor. Okay. And they would walk their son for naps for like a stroller. And then he'd be asleep and they would just leave him in the stroller at the bottom of the stairs. Yeah. And when he would wake up, he would either cry and we were closer on the second floor. We would go get him or he would let himself out of the stroller like this. Not a baby. Okay. Yeah. You know, Toddler and we're just wander in like half asleep into your house. Yeah. Into our house. Me like, where? Come here. Come here. Come here. I'll take you upstairs. That's not bad. It takes a village, bro. But they were in the house. You take them up where you can get them. Absolutely. Absolutely. I love that. Um, so Rebecca kind of like voices this, this sort of fear, this feeling that I think any new parent feels like there was this person before I went in the hospital and after. Yeah. And I'm grappling with this loss of identity of morning who I was before and who I am now. And you know, I, I wonder if I'm not, if I don't have the capacity to be a great mom because I am so sad right now, I'm my holding these two very important, unavoidable emotions of joy and grief and not just the loss of self, obviously, it's the loss of a baby. Um, and how, how do I move forward? How am I going to constantly balance both of these things? You know, my mom, when I was five, she had a miscarriage and like, she was so sad for so long. Um, I just like, Rebecca's just like, I think she's just really worried like, who am I? How do I do this? How do I begin to like, is this the new normal, all of that? And it kind of leads, um, it leads Jack into sort of sharing his side of things. And first of all, he convinces her and says, like, you are going to be a wonderful mom. Like that story is already written, which I love that it was like, that's such a beautiful way of putting it. Yeah. Literally, the writers have the scripts. Totally. Yeah. Um, we've seen the first five seasons. You're going to be a great man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got it. Um, he admits that he had a drink back at the gas station. Yeah. He's overwhelmed and he doesn't want to be like his dad. I mean, he's like, I just remember my dad, you know, coming home from work like 530 and by like 5 o'clock or 515, like, I would be on edge knowing that he was coming home and he would come into the house and like, all the air would get sucked out of the room. Yeah. It was, he was so unhappy around us that he needed to drink or just to be in the same house as us. Yeah. Um, and he's just like, I don't, you know, they're both just sharing their fears. He's like, I don't want to be this and Rebecca doesn't want to be sad. And you tell him, you don't take that out of the room, big dog. You, you are there. You are there. Yes. These people got bars. Yeah, they got bars. I like it. Yeah. And then they kind of just love this idea. They like look at each other like we have a family like that's what's so crazy. Yeah. You guys know those that moment, that realization of like, it is no longer just the two of us. Right. For them, it was instant family. Yeah. It is to go from two to three is just like the most mind blowing experience in the world. There are no words. Is there a big jump in terms of two to three? Yeah. Yeah. Every time. Every time. It's just crazy. But I mean, I don't think anything feels as wild as zero to one, you know, like going from being two people to three people and your family is just unfathomable. Yeah. And so yeah, that's kind of where we leave them, just this realization of like, we're going to be okay together and we know that as we've seen the show for five seasons. You guys have a bit of a montage of about like, sort of, we're never going to be in this car by ourselves ever again, are we? And just like moments from the show in the ride, you know what I'm saying, in the whip. Yeah. In the whip. And the whip changes. Yeah. And that from that station wagon. But should we go to Kevin? That station wagon. Let's do it. I want that station wagon. I know. I know. I know. It's a great car. So maybe to Kevin? Yeah. Yeah. So it's kind of like we're seeing all of these different families at the beginning trying to figure out leaving the hospital and installing car seats and Kevin's not excluded from that. There's a fan that approaches him as he's like trying to figure out these car seats and he like freaks the F out on the guy. Yeah. And I was like, is this guy, are we going to learn more about this guy because there was a little bit of a, like, I don't know, there was something about the way this guy acted. Did you notice that? That like, I don't know. Maybe he was going to be like, I'm like my kids sick in the hospital. Something that like Kevin would then feel bad about it. Sure. Because he kind of like bites the guy's head off about invading his this private moment of his, fair enough. Yeah. And then he feels bad and takes a selfie with the guy and he's like, I'm overtired. They're in the car, Kevin's sort of eagle eye realizes they're being followed by paparazzi. Yeah. They're clearly just like they're exhausted. And Kevin's like, you know, forget this, like I'm pulling the car over. He jumps out to like go berate the guy. What do you want? Like what can I give you? You're ruining this like very intimate family moment. And he really starts to like lose it on the guy. The guy's like snapping photos of the whole time Madison comes over to like try to calm him down and she's just sort of like Kevin go back to the car. Sure. Like let me handle this, right? Which it made me realize in this moment I was like, wow. The evolution of this character for this woman to not only like to where she started from at the beginning of the series like in the pilot in this wait watch this you know wait watchers group with Kate to like where we are now where she like she you know single handedly sends him back to the car and is able to handle the situation with grace and with like just like sort of a fierceness of here's the deal yeah. He goes jogging every Wednesday at this time or whatever here's my phone number. I'll make sure you get the photos and the guy like very creepily is like with a shirt off like I get more money and he's like and in tight pants or something. This guy's a dick yeah because she tried several times. I mean you got kids no you got nieces and nephews no you got friends that got kids are writers were taking direct shots at the paparazzi. Yeah. Are you a human being. No I'm actually. I'm actually terribly lonely. Like they wrote him that way on purpose for sure. Have you ever had writings like that. Oh yeah with like like bad like where people just wouldn't take the hit and I am nobody I am nobody in the scheme of things we are not going to give you nobody. Come on. We will not I am okay I will say I am very low on the totem pole I know my place we live in Los Angeles live in Los Angeles land of like anybody everywhere time out wait I will tell you you're going to go back to this but I have to say this is a quick and delightful side please when we did the live podcast and afterwards when we were meeting the folks that that signed up to get pictures and things afterwards yeah. Like to meet and greet. Sully and I would have these moments. This was the best because Sully loves attention he's like he's been on record saying like I need this attention and every once in a while when they take the picture of the three of us people be like could I just get a picture with you Mandy and I stepped to the side of course no problem and Sully's face would be like hey how come nobody and we would look at each other for a moment and just crack these guys you guys as you are doing your stuff. There would be plenty of solo shots with everybody individually that was just what the evening they didn't do so shots with everybody Sully did they show shots with everybody what's that I mean not everybody but several people wanted they wanted individual shots with all of us which I understand but let's let's just let me just take this a good paparazzi story that tell us about you shout them down I mean I've there have been a couple times right lost my stuff yeah for sure. Yeah before that before not with yeah not with the kids but definitely before yeah just because I feel like heaven yeah I'm always pretty eagle eyeed about it sure I think because I'm especially now as a parent but I've always been sort of hyper aware of my surroundings yeah and there I have some sort of radar when someone's following me or something's happening and so then then I just get pissed like oh you think I'm dumb oh you think I don't notice you running. The red light or like pulling over and then pulling back out again like these guys are not they're not smart right they're not like they're not sly enough sure and also actually this just happened the other day. We were leaving the house and granted we live in a burn down community there's not a ton of like of houses around us so it's like I'm very aware of like either construct totally yeah and there were two nicer cars that I was like that's weird that seems a little out of place I've never seen that fancy car or that fancy car which then makes me angry because I'm like these guys are doing well enough that they're driving whatever but I was leaving to go pick up one of my kids from school and I had Lou with me and I was going to pick up Ozzie and I notice these two cars like kind of follow out of the neighborhood and then get on the freeway a couple minutes later and then get off the free one this exit and then do making all the turns and stuff like that in my mind I was just like what is like what is so exciting about my day granted you don't know what I'm doing but also like what could I what could I possibly been doing that's exciting and I find it strange in this day and age where we all do have social media and we have a platform and it means of sharing our life and sharing you know what normally would have been private moments or our families or whatever like you don't you get enough is what you mean it's just meaning like I don't understand the value then in what these people what their job used to be I guess I understood a little bit more about nowadays I'm like what is this and what is this matter the fact that it's become normalized still boggles my mind right like the concept of it never mind me let's let's say I was following sterling around me following sterling okay right which happens that's fine that's weird that's weird enough but a man driving around following a woman yeah and another thing when when men are the number one threat to women yeah it's strange I don't know is this a stalker is this yeah let's say a cop pulls me over goes what are you doing and I go I'm just following her for what to take pictures of her why to sell them to people to make money like it is very it is a strange just concept it is like like for them to be like I what do you mean yeah I'm just following her to take photos of her and her children to sell to people like what if I what if I wasn't paparazzi and I was just like no no I'm just a fan and I'm going to follow her around that would be weird because it's all it's all weird it's all weird totally so I in that moment I very much understood Kevin like his his his gut reaction to fiercely protect his family at all costs like again yes a strange person is following you and potentially like taking away this intimate private once in a lifetime moment of like bringing your children home crossing that threshold but yes I love how Madison deftly handles it and the guy sort of like scoots away and he's like what what did you do yeah don't worry about it like I'm going to drive you're exhausted get in the car close your eyes were like 20 minutes away from home you take a nap yeah which again I'm like it's all it's all it's all it's all pretty like Kevin not being a Kevin talking about how tired he is I'm like and like and like losing his in the moment of paparazzi guy and then letting his lady drive home after she just pushed out you call him bullshit I'm going to get a quick 20 bit of like I appreciated the the gesture I appreciated where she was coming from but I feel like again under any other circumstance jack or Kevin would both be like I hear you are you joking yeah I got this I can get it together enough to drive my family home yeah I'm not in like a patriarchal sensible maybe to Jack maybe but but like the men were done a little dirty in the writing of this is my Julia Julie on the phone as they're talking to you they get to the house and is this a dream is anything happened before this dream because I was enjoying dreams because like you can probably count on no maybe a hand it's not more than two hands scenes that adult children get with their father it's one hand one hand is it one eight because I think have his hat it's a percentage of one hand in his flash this first episode where like the coaches doing the thing yeah we have the wedding of Toby and Kate where he shows up there we have a imagining different scenarios for Randall and also the trip with Randall so that's four of them maybe some more I don't know not sure but it's yeah it's very few and far between where Milo is able to be included with the rest of the so not only does she make the offer he takes her up on it and goes right to sleep go sleep knock out he was really tired he was really tired or guy sleeping on that cot in the hospital room is not it's so uncomfortable I'm used to defining things in life and so having this dream and this was the interesting part of the dream because it's a jack move but I've always been taught with twins never carry both of them at the same time it's like you know I'm saying just in case you have trombone yeah you stumble or what now you got one hand to be able to do this but Jack was like they really are beautiful and he's like thanks that he's like how how did you do it you had three and I only have two and Kevin's overwhelmed like and I get it as first time father you're like how do I do this how do I take care how do I provide especially when you're the example in your mind of your father is someone that you've placed on a pedestal and the one time when you tried to bring them down off the pedestal you got separated on the phone remember like I know you think of your dad a certain way but so he's like how did you do it and he goes dude first of all it's all I ever wanted you know I wanted your mom I wanted these kids like this was everything that I wanted in life and he tells him you're gonna be funny said I spent the better part of being a dad trying not to be like my dad and here you are son doing everything your power to be like me right? And he says, "Just pick what it is that you want and go for it. And you're going to be all right." And like, what a wonderful dream, too, because I think one of the things about the show that I love, and I remember having this moment in my own life of your parents are these figures that loom large. And I don't know what age it happens. It happens for us all at different points. But my mom always did a good job of saying like, "Hey, man, I'm just doing the best I can with what I got." You know what I'm saying? Like, I ain't got all the answers of what have you. But I tried the best that I can until I know how to do better. And that's, that's it. Yeah. That's the game. That is. Right? And I think there is some value. I think there's some value in your kids thinking that you're the shit. But then there's also value in being like, guys, I am the shit. And I make mistakes like, and I'm not perfect. Like, I tried to be the best version of me for you. Yeah. But even that falls short of the mark from time to time, so a little bit of grace. And so like, it was nice in this dream, how Jack manifests, and it's actually Kevin giving a gift to himself of being like, "Hey, man, maybe I should take a little bit of pressure off myself." Yeah. He wakes up. She's, she's, she's, she's, maybe she should go inside and take a little pressure off of your wife. Yeah. Make sure the woman had just brought the babies into the house and settled them settled everybody in while he slept. She has it. Yeah. And it's very admirable. Yeah. Yeah. She doesn't. I, you go ahead, because I'm just going to jump to the reveal. He's a chapter. Well, he basically is just sort of like, like, what are we doing? Yeah. I, I know that we talked about like, we had this foe sort of proposal and like, we're engaged, but we're not really engaged. And like, let's just make it official. Like, we are a family. I want to be a family with you. And he takes, rips off his like hospital bracelet. Those things very hard to take. Very hard to take off. He's a strong guy. He's a muscle. He's big man. As he, and, and he's well rested. I mean, yeah, he just woke up from a nap. He just had a good cat nap. And he's able to rip that bracelet off and put it on her. The things that I caught about this proposal. Yeah. Never says, like, I love you. No, like, I want to spend my life with you. He does, he does say, will you marry me? Doesn't he? Doesn't he? Not? He says, will you marry me? I want you to be my wife. Is that what he said? Yeah. She says, yes. And it's very sweet. But I just, you clock the things that aren't there as someone who has proposed to someone who says, like, you're my best friend. And I want to spend my whole life with you. And would you do me the honor of being, you know, say, like, I was like, the things that were not there. Absent. We're also very present. Yes. Yes. Yes. Can you tell me there had to be some kind of ring in the house? Well, no, he said, I will get you whatever kind of ring you want. Which is mean, like, wrapping the bracelet around with it. It was, it was a spontaneous gesture inspired by the dreams of Jack. I'm telling you. And inspired by the fact that they just brought home these babies. I want to be a real family again. Let me give you this for skin. Maybe that. I want to play, but it's interesting because you're right. There's no mention of, like, about them as a couple. It's more of the idea of like bringing the family, making the family unit official official. Let's make it official. So that's, that's where we leave that. Yeah. If you want to go into Katovi. Yeah. This was, this was, this was good. This was, I mean, I want you to step into it, but like the, the thing that I recognize and maybe is because blocking you're in the driver's seat and I'm jumping to that car and then we'll go back. Yeah. But Kate in the back seat, Kate wasn't reading the room. And I was like, come on Kate. Yeah. Can you see her face? And the answer is no, I cannot see her face. Yeah. Because Tommy will look over and be like, oh, it's done. Look. It's not going the way everybody does something new. Yeah. Sounds funky with funky. Yeah. Yeah. We, we leave the hospital at Toby, Toby and Kate. It's called color key. Toby Keith. Toby Keith. Very different. Very different. Toby Keith comes out of the hospital. I love this bar. Kate comes out of the hospital with the baby and is followed by Ellie, Ellie, in a wheelchair. You get to hold the baby. I get to hold the baby. I'll sign welcoming the baby. Hey, thank you. I got you. Thank you. I'm, because I'm welcoming. Are you guys a little bit? Do you need a little nap? Sorry. I was up all night with bear. Were you really? So you guys mind if I just take a quick 20? Yeah, no, please. I'll just do a quick 20. They come out and they're, they're going to drop her off at her house. Yeah. And they are having this conversation about next steps and how. Staying connected. Staying connected. Yeah. This was an open adoption. Yes. So they are under the, the guys and this belief that she's going to be a part of this baby's life. Correct. That there will be birthdays and holidays and photos and get together's and meetups with, with Ellie's other daughter, Willow. Willow. And so they're all going to sort of remain in each other's lives. But you can see as the conversation progresses and she sort of pressed further and further in a corner. You got to get funky credit because like every, with a mask on half the time, so much was in the eyes. Yeah. Well, she's just like, Oh, man, I'm not in great actor. Not feeling this. She's, she's, she's solid. Yeah. But yeah, she's something's up. Yeah. At a certain point, Kate keeps bringing up like, Oh, it's Willow's birthday and we can bring this and we have this. And she's like, I stop. Like, I can't do this. And what do you mean? She's like, I know we agreed to an open adoption or whatnot, but I kind of just think I need to say goodbye to this baby and be out. And Kate is like, and so he's like, okay, we get it. You drop her off. What have you? You get back to the crib. And Kate's asking you like, dude, how are you okay with all of this? Yeah. The whole idea was to have an open adoption. My brother grew up not knowing who his birth parents were. And that was a massive thing for him to deal with. And now still dealing with it. Still dealing with it. Like, how are you cool with this? And you're like, look, we had a plan. And as we know, sometimes plans change. Yeah. And go ahead because you have some good you have some good bars to her in terms of like, yeah, I mean, this one really felt like me like this. Yeah, this to this tobey response. I did not remember filming this scene. Okay. Yeah. When I saw it, I was like, all right. This moment. Yeah. And it really felt like I was I was closely connected to Toby's opinion on this. Like, she's going to do what she's going to do. And we're going to do what we're going to do. And she picked us for a reason. Yes. She's seen what you can do as a mother and what I can do as a father based on our current challenges around, around parenting and everything's going to be fine. Yeah. Yeah. And you're unfloppable. I liked that. That's a, that's a really generous and kind descriptor for somebody, especially. Yeah. Was there any conversation about employment or is that just the next that comes at the, nope, at the very end, at the end, he says, that's a good thing. Thank you. You're unfloppable. You're so unfloppable. Yeah. Because I have been fired. And that's kind of where that ends. Yeah. We'll be right back with more of that was us. Let me tell you about our article. First off, if you're watching this podcast and you should be yep, everything you see here, article, article, couch, table, chairs, article. When we did our live show, yeah, article, article, tasteful, comfortable, high design. Yeah. Quality without compromise, right? They take care and curating their collections, their high quality, their meaningful pieces that are going to stand the test of time. And it's, it's kind of a mix and match on their website, right? You could pick anything from their website, even if it's not in the same style and it all still seems to go together. They got mid century modern. They have coastal. Do you know what scandy inspired pieces are? You might not. But if you go to article, article.com. That's what you all about it. Absolutely. Meticulous packaging, the weight and feel of things. Most of their products come fully assembled, which is kind of a luxury these days. How many times have I ordered furniture and this giant flat pack shows up? Yeah. And I'm like, oh, well, there goes my afternoon. Yeah. I mean, I got to put together a divan. Oh, what? A divan? A divan? A divan. What is that? That's a type of furniture. D.F.A. and is that how you pronounce it? A divan. How do you pronounce it? Devon? Devon. Devon. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more to claim visit article.com/twu. And the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. That's article.com /twu for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. You want to take an F2? Mandy, why don't you take a guess this one? No one wants to hear me talking by myself. I can't imagine having just welcomed your second child because from a man's perspective, whether it's warranted or not in today's society, you still feel this desire and need to prevail. right? Like that's one of the things that you sort of labeled with. And to, on the day that your family is just expanded to know that your means of provision has been taken away. Like you have to take a deep breath on that, bro. Deep breath. So it's a big deal, right? And she says she encourages you. You're going to be fine. You're going to get another job. It's all going to work out. You see, unflappable, right? So that's where we finish that one. Is that really got to take turns being anxious, right? Like me and Rachel, when we do it at the same time, bro. Yeah, yeah, you can't. We can't follow the recipe for disaster if both people are just filial. We're fucking losing it. Yeah, collectively. Yeah. Yeah, that's no bueno. I don't know if I don't right tonight are pretty good at taking turn at at there's there's a certain amount of like of like, okay, you're feeling anxious about this thing. I'm not. Yeah. And but you don't want to tell somebody to calm down. No. Like that's not the you got to feel what you make them feel like you're telling them to calm down. But I also am not one to join. Like I'm not a joint. Like I'm not going to pretend to be more anxious about the thing. So it's a fine line. It's an acknowledgement of that must be tough. You have must be tough. Yes. Yeah. And not in a facetious way. Yeah. Like that. That's what you're feeling right now. That must suck. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I'm I'm actually just now learning this. It's me too. Like guys for real for a there'd be times when I would be upset at Ryan Michelle Bathay for not seeing the world like Sterling Kay Brown. And then it sort of dawned on me. But she's Ryan Michelle Bathay. What? How could she ask to see the world like Ryan Michelle Bathay? And I'm so happy that I get a perspective that is different from mine because it sort of rounds out, you know, things. My roles colored glasses sometimes can be like not quite what's going on. Sometimes Brown needs to read the room. And I turn turn to the bird. And she gives me perspective. And I'll be like, yeah, much appreciated. Thank you very much. Well, that's good partnership. That's it. Having a balance. Let's go into a lower R&B. And they will tie in the beginning. Yeah. Yeah. We have a flashback. We have a flashback to R&B's birth of their second child, which thankfully happened in the hospital because the first one happened at home. Yeah. So it seemed like it was a much smoother sort of scenario. She said it was 48 hours of pushing. I call a little BS on that because I think the second one comes a little bit quicker than the first one. Yeah. But, you know, most of the time most of the time. We also get baby face Sterling, which is everybody knows my, my favorite. You enjoy? Yeah. You enjoy Jayman? Oh, yeah. There's a lot of face. There's a lot of face that Brown had. I love it. God bless you. God bless you all. We have made a deal. She says she gets to have anything she wants after she gets this baby out. She wants a blizzard. Yeah, a Snickers blizzard. Snickers blizzard. By the way, Brown used to house. A Snickers Oreo cookies and cream blizzard. Yeah. Guys, I would get it in a big goat cup. Yeah. That's so much ice cream. And that's 32 ounces of ice cream. Yes. And when they used to make them back in the day, you could turn that shit upside down. Yes. And it would not come out. Yes. It was a con. Shick stick. 32 ounces of ice cream. Brown is like nine years old. Dude, housing. My sugar problems as a kid were real. They were rooted at Dairy Queen. They let's put my dad and my dad used to take me and my brother. Yeah. To Kings games. Okay. Basketball games, Sacramento. And on the way, we would stop at the A.M. P.M. Okay. And load our pockets with concessions. Much cheaper than in the state. That's right. Yes. Because there you're getting three for get for one. Yeah. Like three for one. So we would load our pockets with candy. That's very African America. I didn't know this is low. I would pregame for the movie theater to get out of here. I take full. I don't recently haven't been to the movie theater. Yeah, they won't tell you, but you could take just about anything in there. Yeah. Yeah. You don't even have to hide it. You don't bring a salad. They don't care. I'd take I've taken a whole pizza to see if I could. No way. I just hold it. Hold it in this hand. Hand the guy my ticket. Never break eye contact. Are you gonna? You gonna stop me? No. You don't care that much. legitimately. You brought a whole pizza. Yeah. And just dead eyes right in the eyes. Yeah. Here's my ticket. And recently post COVID. No, this is back in my Chicago days. But I put it in the back pack. Yeah. Then I get the theater. Everybody turned around because like it smells like Mexico. It smells really good. All they hate it. They hate it because they wish they had Chipotle. There you go. And they don't have to. But yeah, we would get load our pockets with candy and get the 32 ounce milkshake for the ride there. Sugar was a real part. I told you I'm a so die drink in college. Yeah, I like that. You know, you live you learn you try to do better. There you go. That's what it was. That's right. That's what you do the best. That's what you have. Exactly. That's where we're driving in the car. Everybody knows this. But Randall has a tough time reading room. Never talked to a woman about a next child right after she just had a child. Yeah. Like usually you give them a couple months or something. I'm telling you I'm telling you this whole episode is full of Tim the tool man tailors. Julia had it out for the man. Yeah, she was like I'm gonna make them as a bunch of jommies. Wow. I have questions. What was going on, Julia? Yeah. She had a bone. She had a real bone pick with somebody in her life. Beth and Randall talking, he's like, you know, like, you know, maybe if we decide to have a third and she's like, excuse me. And he's saying just, you know, I'm saying she's a third one. I was like, just talking to the possibility. We missed the turn to the DQ. We have to turn back around. We go to the DQ. We get out of the car. And I said, can I just say this one thing about, you know, keeps keeps going and keep bringing it in. She's like Negro. Like you in her eyes, Susan Kalechi was like, bro, are you about to do this again? And he's just talking about he says a few things. And then but what I remember specifically, then is talking to Annie, because in the hospital, the nurse says I think she's got daddy's eyes. And he says like when the nurse said that, like it made me really happy, because I grew up in a family where I didn't have anybody's eyes. And I love my family. But I they weren't where I came from. So I had this moment where I had to do my family tree when I was in school. And my brother and sister were doing theirs and I was doing mine. And I knew something about mine was not quite right, because this is my family. But also, there's a whole another group of people that I come from that I have no sense of connection to. So my idea was you and your sister and your mom, you the beginning of this tree, that is like my tree. And as the wife is coming back from getting her blizzard, you say like, I just wanted to see that tree be as big as it possibly could. Right. So it's not me trying to like, I wasn't trying to push push, but I was also like very excited about the idea of just having big old beautiful branches coming in the tree. Right. And best sort of clocks. And she's like, alright, bro, I'm not as annoyed as I was before. But you shouldn't be bringing this crap up. Yeah, let me eat this. Let me have my blizzard. And he interrupts me. Yes, this is a piece offering because she has two blizzards. And she's like, now he's both for me. And he gives her a little bit of a look. And she gives and she hands it to him. And they share sweet little kiss. It was nice. I was like, I was how ultimately I'll say like the fact that I brought it up in the first place, I think is something I cry bullshit on. But I like the way that it all sort of comes together. Right. So the beginning of this episode, we're meeting this young black woman who looks like she's a resident, would you say? Yeah. So resident hospital. And she's sort of like non-plussed with whatever the lesson is that's being taught right now, just like the labor and delivery ward. Yeah. And she's kind of just like rolling her eyes about it. Like babies. Like babies are easy, but I don't know what we're doing here. She's like, I need to do cardiac thoracic stuff. I need deep stuff with small children. Give me pediatric surgery, something like that. Then I get excited. She steps outside. She's waiting. Another sister comes and picks her up, right? They're driving in their car later on. No, no, no, I'm just saying like, I could tell, I mean, I knew what was coming and. But this is the best casting. It's really great. Yeah. It's fantastic because you instantly know Taylor was like, I know exactly who that is. Yeah. It's no mystery. Do you think the audience day? I think they did. I think they do because they had us know because I'm curious if you knew it. So incredible. Spot the blank on. And that actor, I mean, she was doing a little deja, right? Like she was deja. Like, but Taylor was like, cat's out of that. It's deja. But in the future, what she, what I want to know is she'd watched the show. Yes. And I would talk to her about it. I was like, do you, are you watching lyric? And she's like, yeah, try to do like a little something that lyrics does. It's incredible. There's a smile that she has that's just like a thousand what that's like, that's my daughter, right? Okay. But the casting for Annie and Tessa as well. Yes, yeah, but it's bonkers. It's great. I would tell you how crazy it is in a second because once we get to the end of this episode, because I know how much time I got. Yeah. Okay. She is with her sister. And she said, I got you a gift, right? It's some sort of little play thing or whatnot. She's like, I know you haven't told it yet. Yeah. - Yeah, no, you haven't told everybody yet, but figure out, get something early. And then she puts her hand on her belly. And she's like, you know, everybody go, "No, you pregnant, if you keep touching your belly." And I said, "No, I ain't touching my belly. "I don't know what you're talking about." They wind up there on a drive. And at the end of the episode, they wind up pulling up to Kevin's house. - Yeah, we run a nice Kevin's house out there. - That we see. And Old Randall, who doesn't look as bad as the first old Randall. - Oh, here we go. - No, he does look, he does look. - He's something happened in the house. And he came out, came outside looking great. - I lost extra face. I was like, I ain't putting this shit on. You didn't do that to nobody else. You put the Mandy, but she still get to be pretty 'cause Mandy's just pretty naturally. So I want to be pretty an old too. I got to be pretty an old mother. - Especially after you saw what they did to Kevin. - Kevin didn't do anything. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And that's pure Justin. - He's like, no. - They blew some baby powder. - You can see Justin in here and make him be like, no, I don't need that. - Nope, nope, that's good. - With that, with the hand, nope, nope, nope. - But I'm telling you. - You can tell Dan, I said so. - Yeah. (laughing) - It's quintessential. This is my favorite thing. He does it all the time. - It does it all the time. - Right, yeah. - But then, no, first test comes out of the house. And she's like, it took you guys long enough that I had the sisters greet each other. And when I walked out of the house guys, and get a chance to see my three daughters, like when Sterling watched Randall come out and see his three daughters, I freaking lost it. - Yeah. - It's like I got a chance. - The beautiful branches. - The beautiful branches of my treat right there. And she hasn't told to me yet. So now the audience is ahead of Randall. - Yes. - 'Cause he doesn't know that he's about to be a grandfather. - Yeah. - But he gives her this kids like, how's the drive up? And she said, it's always a little bit longer than what you think it's gonna be. And there's just this kiss on the forehead. And they all go inside the house. And I'm like, this man gets the branches. He gets the branches. He's got even like twigs that he doesn't even know about yet. - Exactly, little offshoots of the tree he doesn't even know yet. - We would sit the three of them. And I'd be like, you guys look like my girls. And they're like, I know, we do. Like, and we would take these pictures together and everything. And it was crazy. I hope that I can go back and find some of them. Because it really, it was like, I jumped forward 2015, how many ever used in the future. And I was like, I get to see it. I got to get to experience the wholeness. - I mean, I think that is such a trick of our show. And I'll end 'cause we should wrap this up. But it's like, the casting on the show is truly remarkable. Not just finding gifted actors, but in the casting of these younger actors or other actors playing different versions of characters that have already been established on our show, it's mind-boggling. - There's a real sense of continuity. - Every single time without fail. And if it didn't work, the show wouldn't have been as good. The show wouldn't have worked in many ways. So we're gonna come back with our favorite segment, our fan segment. And this time it's gonna be a quick little convo with our buddy, Huertes. - Makes me happy. - The most interesting man in the world. - Hands down, hands down. - We'll be right back more. That was us. (upbeat music) - We are so excited because today we are welcoming back a familiar voice to that that was us family. But this time he is joining us to chat about being on the other side of the camera. - You know him as Miguel. We call him the most interesting man in the world. According to SAG, he is John Huertes. I call him Sweet Cheeks. He directed season five, episode nine, The Ride. And we can't wait to talk to him about shaping such a powerful episode. Welcome back to the show. My man, Jay Wealthars. - The most frequent guest on our show. - Kind of, yeah. - Yeah. - Looking handsome as ever. - Oh my goodness, don't do that to me. - Wow, this is such a professional. - You can't come on here looking like that. - Look at that up here. - Looking good. - And it's coming hard and fast. - Yeah. - Jesus, that mustache entered the room first. - Oh my goodness. - Man. - Huertes, where are you talking to us from, Big Dog? You up north? - In Nevada City. - In Nevada, at this time. - See, address? - Yeah. - Yeah. - One, two. - Share it with the world so we can know. We can all come see it. - Good to see you. - How are you, bro? - You look good. - Oh, thank you. Yeah, so do you guys. - Haircut. - Nice trim beard. The stash is now a mainstay, right? - Yeah. - We rock the stash most of the time now. - Yes. - Yeah. - It makes people trust me more. - Man, you got a nice little balance. - What I'm sitting in my van down the block from the school, they just trust me. - This is exactly what we need. - Jack, yeah. - Who are you, bud? - I'm good. - Yeah. - Just homestay on this farm. - Yeah. - What's the latest on the farm? Last time you were with us, you were giving us a story about crazy wild turkeys that were chasing you all through. Have the turkeys calmed down? Have things become safer? What's the deal? - Turkeys don't chase anymore. - Okay, that's good. - They're still here. Many more of them. I feel like there's 50 of them. - Are you serious? - Just, yeah, always walking around. - But they know who's in charge. - Got a lot of animals though. - What else you got? - 5,000 baby snakes. - Ooh, no thanks. - Yeah, they're cute, they're pretty big. - Yeah. - That'd be great if John moved up north and started a baby snake farm. - That would be interesting. - Intentionally, yeah, I raised snakes. - I believe it. - I raised, I have a snake farm. It's the only one in California. - How are they? - Just deer, lots of deer, lots of buck, young buck, old buck in one beast. - Are we, so we got you here because we're talking. This was your directorial debut on our show, correct? - The ride? - This is true, yes. - Throw me into the fire. - Yeah, I drank COVID. - But you do, and you jumped into it like a champ. And that's like, these days, like I know you're a producer, you're an actor still, but like, is directing what's been happening most post show for you these days? - Yeah, definitely. You know, Ken came up to me after doing this episode and he was like, man, you're pretty good at this, but if you want to continue to do it, you should just do this and pause acting for a while so that people take you seriously. - Oh, really? That was so nice. - Yeah, and I've been heating it. And I think I've gotten a lot better and I just love it. I get way more out of it, so much more gratification. - Explain to me, 'cause you guys have all done it. So, man, now, John, multiple times, talk to me a little bit about what the nature of the gratification of directing is, vis-a-vis acting. - So I think as an actor, I have one responsibility. And like, on our show, it was two Miguel, obviously. - Yeah. - And whatever his story was within the story and how he was supporting whether it was a story, these stories, see story, whatever it is. When you're the director, you are responsible for the first word on the first page and the last word on the last page. And for me, I think just like breaking down your character as an actor, as a director, you have to do it for every character and you have to do it for the entire story. And I love the work, it's a lot more work. - Yeah, yeah. - A lot less money. - Is it less money? You get more as an actor than you do as a director? - Oh, you. (laughing) - So, you know, you're invested for the right reason. - But you love it, you love it. You've got, how many trackers have you done so far? - Trackers have done three. - Have you done more of any other show besides trackers? - I've done a bunch of rookie, yeah, five or six of those, and they're a show called Ballet, I don't even, yeah, the rational, there's a bunch of stuff. But I think I'm gonna slow down and just kind of focus on the track or stuff, which I love. I love working with Justin and the rookie stuff 'cause I wanna jump into the future world. - Look at this too. - Yeah. - This too. You'll write your own-- - And it takes more time. - Are you gonna write your own feature? Are you looking for like to find a writer to partner with to do it that way? - Well, right now I'm attached to a film that is supposed to shoot in May, June. - Okay. - With "Wilter Ball Marama." - Yeah, it's Marama. - You guys, as Mandy knows, very well. - I love Will. - Of course. - Me too. - Yeah, so he's a bass. - He's starring, yeah, he's starring in a film that I'm supposed to be directing, but until I'm on set, yelling action. - I know, you just never know. - We wait until we find out. So then, let's go-- - Yes, that's summer. - Let's go back in time then, just a little bit. Crossing my fingers and hoping for that. What were nerves, what were expectations? How did you feel jumping into your first episode as director of "This Is Us?" - I mean, at first of all, it was during COVID. - Yeah. - I think it was the first episode that we were gonna be establishing masks. - We had masks, you see the mile here in the season. - Yeah, we had hot masks earlier in the season, yeah, yeah. - Was it early in the season? - Yeah. - From 501, we had masks, yeah. - But did you-- - But the one, oh wow. - Did you have to do your entire process over Zoom? - I did, yeah. - Like all of your prep. - So give our audience kind of an idea of what pre, 'cause a director working on our episode would essentially be working for a month, right? in pre-production, production, and post-production. right about about that give or take. Yeah like three three three and a half weeks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In non-COVID times give give our audience kind of an idea of what a director's responsibilities are leading up to an episode of television especially when you're quote-unquote guest director. Yeah directing an episode of television first of all your responsibilities to the showrunner. Ultimately television is showrunner's game and so that showrunner's vision is is what's most important. So you have to support that you don't come in with your own vision and change everything up. So you know I think understanding first of all the script Julie Brown will wrote this one so you know she's obviously doing her job in support of our showrunner's vision. So she's there with me and we start the first day with a concept meeting as two of you know and I'm just saying I know what a concept meeting is. I just never did it. So yeah concept meeting and then you just start having meetings and it's with every department head. You start scouting pretty much at the beginning so you want to get your location as soon as possible so the art department has time to turn it into what you want it to look like. And the casting is happening during all of this you get you know tapes you're on your way to a scout and you've got to watch a few tapes to you know cast a bunch of people. So so it all kind of blends together at seven days of prep and then you you know and what with COVID I do remember we got some extra days there were some contingencies that that came up that you know you get some extra days for not only prep but also for filming. Yeah just because it was an odd time. Sure. But yeah me I saw I saw you go and then finally it's time to shoot and you're you know before day one you're really nervous especially if you're working with Sterling K Brown and they what you are just like every award winning Sterling K Brown. No no I've heard there's a couple of times but you guys know me and I'm as dumb as anybody else's you know that's true that's true that's very true yeah everybody agrees with that but no I remember it being I remember I didn't because I didn't I wasn't aware I knew that you were going to direct but because of COVID and all this separation we weren't really hanging out like I didn't realize you were directing the episode until I showed up on set really yeah and I was like oh this is the one this is the one yeah and I and I remember like just being aware of like oh I've never obviously I had only been on a few TV shows but to be on a TV show where a cast member is now directing yeah it was special it was especially somebody who I had become close with it was special it was like a special day yeah like you we all wanted to rise to the occasion and be good for you yes well thank you and then you were and but I will say like you know those jokes behind you know being nervous about directing not only sterling but everyone because you know I respect everyone's talent so much and there's a part of me that looks at myself in the mirror and says how dare you give a note to Mandy Moore so and so we started filming I was saying Mandy you have to come on come on and then Mandy Moore said how dare you do your homework you feel like you have a take that you want to execute but like you're not looking through the frame and that's somebody who's looked through the frame and I've heard a note given be like oh that's a good note because you just don't don't see how it's coming across and an a third eye an objective eye is always appreciated you know I'm saying oh yeah yeah especially when you respect the person who's giving the note you're not that you don't respect all of the directors but you don't but you don't know but the perspective that someone like John who is part of our cast totally who knows these characters who knows the story who's been around in this ethos for five and a half seasons now it's like coming from you especially it's like oh wow absolutely like it's such an interesting take yeah to have that perspective agreed agreed I think like for me what was amazing because we were already collaborators as a cast yes right and this is a different way of collaborating that was so special and so I don't know is it was the most rewarding kind of moment in my career was being able to step into the director's chair with you guys and for Dan and for Julie and you know just like and for our fans I mean they yeah they could have watched that episode and been like don't ever let him yeah he messed up the suit he put too much but too much pepper and a suit right too much pepper too much pepper in this episode they must say they handed you a doozy of an episode with all these babies they're like here welcome you first episode how about 17 babies yeah I don't even like babies yeah oh we know that about you and half of them weren't even real half of them weren't real that's my favorite part I don't know if you guys love to do the eagle eye like when is it the real baby when is it not the real baby yeah especially doing COVID because we had way less real babies on set sure we're allowed to right yeah then you you had a lot of close singles on baby's faces because it was the only way you could convince a lot yeah shoot them later you know yeah be up be up be up and shoot around the babies yeah yeah that was crazy when I read the script I'm in fact two we took two babies out because I was like do we have to have this many babies did you really you took it yeah and there's a scene I don't think it made the cut but um we see uh I forget whose kids at where I think they're um test his kids in the show test but I was a test was it me and these kids like wait wait wait in the future yeah in the future we shot some we shot a scene yeah and then we're and she had kids two two babies and then we made them like eight and 10 or something like older maybe five maybe five because one of those three lines was uh Randall's desire for the branches of the tree so you're probably trying to show all these different branches okay and John words it was like okay he's got enough branches yeah trim this tree trim this tree okay some of the branches are a little longer than they need to be branches these these are seven-year-old branches yeah yeah so but then the episode was long so I think they lost that yeah it was cool talk to me a little bit about about post for you I've heard a lot of directors talk about handing in their cut and it you know feeling very precious with it and then Dan sort of puts his hands on it like just that process of letting go what's it like I mean I'm usually really proud of my cut uh and like and I think Chris and I we share similar story because you weren't first get the for when you get the first cut like the editors cut you you throw up in your mouth and swallow it because it's just so bad that disgusting yeah you're like what what have I done I've ruined everything you warned me when I did mine you were like you're gonna see that first cut and you are going to have you're gonna think that you ruined an episode of this is us you're like yeah this is garbage everything I have is garbage how did I the all of these people are so talented yeah how did I ruin this that's what right you warned me about and then uh you know you work with them we have amazing editors on our show so you work with these editors for four days and then you just have to trust that um you know the Dan like Dan's like the uh I don't know the guru or the or the I don't know he just has such a way because you do have to trust that he's gonna he hears the music make this episode yeah it's true yeah yeah you're gonna have to know like you don't fall in love with any scenes basically okay like you have to yeah I you know Dan's gonna rearrange things sometimes yeah my episode stayed pretty uh I think as far as chronologically the the story and the scenes they stay it stayed pretty much um as scripted but we did lose some stuff but otherwise I don't think Dan really chopped into mine as much as I've seen him do other episodes yeah he didn't need to yeah there you go so when you for each of this is for each of you when you see your episodes finally come out are you happy are you like this wasn't I didn't see it going this way but I'm happy with how it turned like I'm cute for because you guys each have the experience what do you think John I mean the first time I watched an episode I had kind of just to be honest I cried it was with Nicole yeah and you know I got to direct like the best show on television yeah yeah and and work with all my best friends you know and and uh yeah I was I saw that you guys were bringing it for me and it made it made my heart swell up and so I was like, you know, so happy, so excited. Um, and then I had to go back to work as a Miguel. What a let down. So you felt Mandy Chris similarly. Yeah. Happy. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. Very. That's cool. Maybe I should have direct. Yeah. You should have. Yeah. It's never too late. No. I mean, it's for this thus. I mean, I could, because I could possibly have done it on prayer. It's not, it's not in me yet. It's not in me yet. Like that sense of joy that you had in terms of being able first word on page one last word on last page or whatnot. Like, I'm actually pretty cool just working with the character. Um, I feel like there's other things that I do. I try to be like water in terms of like supporting people in other ways. What have you? But like, um, directing is hard. I think it's hard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I think maybe you shouldn't actually because I think you would dig it the most. Do you think he would love it, John? Like, yeah. I don't want to do it because he might take some jobs for me. Yeah. Don't do it, John. Maybe you leave something for the rest of us. John, you're so suited for that position. No, you are, you are calm. You are intensely creative. Handsome. Handsome. That is a real requirement for being a, for being a great director. That makes sense. That makes sense. But you just, like, you do come with so many ideas. You're, you're unflappable. I know Kate sort of Toby declares Kate is unflappable in this, in this episode. Yes. Like, you just like, you brought such a poise and such a confidence, especially in the face of like, I remember like, I just have this very distinct picture of you on the back of my mind of like, in a mask holding your iPad, like going through, like talking to Milo and I while we were doing those scenes outside of the hospital and like, just, you knew what you wanted. You knew how to get there. You knew how to, like, talk to the crew without being flustered. Like, it is a very overwhelming job, right? You are the nucleus of the set. Everyone is coming to you with every question. You are running everything. And I, I think like to go from being an actor to, to sort of ascending to that position where, yeah, you're, you're there at the beginning of the day all the way to the end as an actor. It's like, you know, when you're not being used and they're moving on or moving equipment around or cameras and whatnot, you can go sit on your seat. You can chat with people. You can get on your phone and as a director, it's like, you're constantly feeling questions. Yeah. And John, you just like, innately, immediately, I was like, oh, he's meant to do this. Like, you're so comfortable. You're great at giving like notes. You're just, you're so thoughtful. You're such a great storyteller, just intrinsically in life whenever like you're kind of the life of the party. You're, you're just an incredible storyteller. People are sort of drawn to you innately anyway. So to see you in this position, being, you know, being in the position of being able to be the ultimate storyteller, it's just, it's, it truly is where you're meant to be. Or you can do it all. But yeah, I just, I so enjoyed, I mean, I felt the same way about you too, Chris. It's like, I really enjoy, and the same goes with Ken and Justin and Milo, being directed by fellow actors. There's, there is a, there's a quiet comfort in being with like a comrade with somebody who's like been in the trenches before knows what it's like and knows how to speak to another actor. It knows the language and there's just, there's a different level of consideration and knowledge of where someone's coming from what they might be thinking that I tend to prefer like, you know, I feel most comfortable being directed by a fellow actor. Yeah, I think I do too. Like for whatever it's worth. That was more than two sets, but there's a five-dollar bill. Five-dollar bill to see you. You may be falling in love with you all over So, yeah, I mean, I think that being directed by an actor or a former actor is just, there's, like you said, there's this familiarity of language or of how we approach the work. Yeah. It's different from any other department and so there are directors that come from camera, they come from editing, they come from AD department and they just have a different approach to, imagine like an AD how they break down a script. Yeah. Compared to how we break down characters. Look at the different things. Yeah, so I, we see this familiarity when there's a director on the other side of the camera who used to be an actor. We, we talked to Catherine Hardwick a couple many episodes ago now, but she talked about how when she decided to break into directing, she took an acting class because she was like, I felt like it was important and responsible of me to know what I was telling other people I wanted from them. And so like, not saying that it should be a requirement for every director, but I did appreciate that like a step in that direction, because I think there is a there is a lack of understanding of the language and the vocabulary specifically if you don't necessarily know. And I don't expect every director obviously to have that specific language, but it is, I just think it's helpful. It's really nice. Yeah. Well, to that end, I think that directors or actors who are becoming directors or any other department that is transitioning to being a director should also know how to speak the language of the camera department. Correct. And I think all and across the board, every department, that's, I mean, I know that I didn't want to get into the director's chair until I really shadowed camera, shadowed production designer. So when you need and want something for your episode, you know how to convey it in an economical way, in a respectful way. And if they hear you speaking their language, then they will jump through hoops for you. And I think that's important. That's, I spent so much time like when I was on cast, I never went to my chair trailer. You were just in the camera and just watch, hang out. This is like, guys, we we refer to John Muertes as the most interesting man in the world. Like he didn't always drink beer, but when he does, he probably drinks dosakis because no, he probably made his own. He probably made his own. He has his own, my own brewery. He made that trace. He made that trace axis because he just had nasty with it, you know what I'm saying? But there is an unquenchable design. He's a lifelong learner. Like in the truest sense of the word. So curious. Whatever it is. And like you're right, Mandy, it you're, it's unquenchable. And like just to hear you talk about life, like you'd be like, yeah, I built this house and you're like, what? And yeah, I raised, he probably raised the turkeys. He probably breathed the turkeys with each other. And so he can have a job. And then and then domesticated. I'm going to domesticate these wild turkeys because that's how bad I am, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, man, I called it, I called a chick once, turkey, turkey, chick. I didn't catch it. It was lost. Yeah, it was, it was, it was peeping like peeping. Yeah, and uh, picked it up, but I was like, you got to get back to your mom. I wanted to keep that little moment. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just the birds. Would they go back with a other turkeys taking back gloves on. Okay, I don't know. I didn't hear a story when I was a little kid, like all of you touch a baby bird. Right. Yeah. They'll be rejected. Yeah. Did you have to, I don't know, baby? That's true. You are, you are definitely a dad. Yeah. That's that DJ on the DJ. That DJ. Uh, listen, what else, what, uh, the next episode of anything that you directed will be what, when will it be out? So folks, no, I'm, listen, I'm going to say this real quick. I think, wait, before you even say it, and this is just selfishly as an actor, you're so good. Yeah. That the idea that you have completely pivoted away from it forever gives me a little bit of sadness. He's not. It's the right job. I would say forever. Okay. Yeah. It's the right job comes along. Okay. John has an open mind. You'll be there if we need you. Absolutely. And if I develop something, but I'll say, like, I got spoiled with this is us. Yeah. Yeah. And then I did a David Simon show all right, back. And I'm, and I'm thinking now at this age, and because I love directing so much, well, I don't want to settle for just anything like the writing has to be like that, at that level for me to really love it or something that I'm doing myself so that if it's messed up, I can only blame myself. Yeah. You're in control. You're in the drivers. Sure. So, uh, so I'm not, I'm not done completely. I may be in front of the camera in the summer as well. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for me. Thanks for coming to chat with us, bud. Miss you. We always love seeing you, John. We miss you down here in LA. You're the man. Give Nicole our love. Yeah. Give Nicole a big hug. Let me know when you guys want to come up North. Oh, we'll let's all maybe up there in a couple of months, actually, to go visit the Alma Mater. So if you're not too far away, maybe we can find each other. He's up there. Let's do our hills in them hills. Yeah. I will find them. Foot hills. Open them. Foot hills. So dark. Before them. Sierra Nevada. Love you, brother. Talk to you guys. See you, bud. Bye. All right. Man, I love that John Wartes. So much, he's awesome. He did a great job directing it. Like I love he would always he he's acted like he was afraid to give notes. John, John likes the talk, John gave notes and they were wonderful. They were wonderful. Like I said, because he knows these characters. He knows the story this world so indebted that his notes were one, yeah, they were fantastic. Did he wind up doing the most effort? No. Did you do two? Two was the most, right? Milo did three. Milo did three. Milo did three. I think he did do three and Justin did two. And Justin did two. Yeah. Okay. And Ken did too many. Yeah. And Ken didn't do enough. I'll say this to what John said about like turning in his director's cut. I was like, like Dan says, like, Kim got to the place where he didn't even try to turn in the director's cut. He's like, Dan's going to do what he's going to do anyway. I just give him the footage and let him do it. Yeah. And sometimes Dan was like, I actually kind of like, I mean, Dan will be the first one to tell you my, like, I'm not on set a lot. I'm in the writer's room and the edit bay. That's it. That's where I'm most comfortable. And that's where I do my best work. Yeah. It's like fair enough. Yeah. Love it. Yeah. Thanks. Always a pleasure talking to show with you all. Same. Same. Thank you again to John who had just for joining us for this episode. Thank you. Yeah. For listening. Yeah. Please tell your friends about our show. We're still trying to grow the show. Yeah. Even as we are starting to come to a close. Yeah. Yeah. We're like subscribe. Well, we still got a whole other season and sort of the back half of this season. Yeah. But like, subscribe. Support our sponsors. Yeah. Yeah. You know, all the usual. Yeah. But thanks for joining us. And that was another episode. That was us. Yeah. That was us, as filmed at Rabbit Green Studios and produced by Rabbit Green Productions. Music by Taylor Goldsmith and Griffin Goldsmith. That was a hit gun podcast.