Never Have I Ever w/ My Parents *TEA SPILLED*

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try it at Progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states. Never have I ever stalked someone on social media. I've stalked someone, try me. Are you serious? You guys go ahead with the question. No, I got it. No voice. No, we're stopping right here. Wait, we're letting Teresa talk. Never have I ever found one of my significant other's friends attractive. I promise you I've never been attracted to your friends. You'd be tempted if my friend was Michael B. George. That's not the question. Never have I ever sexted. I don't want that on the internet. I don't either. Mom, you've never taken like an artistic photo of dad with his clothes off? No. No, thank you. Never have I ever lied while playing this game. Maybe. What's up, dudes? Hey, welcome back to Unplanned. Woo! Yay! Today, we have my parents joining us for a fun game of Never Have I Ever. Give it up for John and Teresa. They're always such good sports. Yes. Thank you. Yeah, you know Abby's parents would never do this. They would never. I feel like you could convince my mom, but my dad, you'd have to drag his dead body in here. I even offered to buy him beer, and he said no. He said no. I think that means we're stupid. You guys are fan favorites. Everybody was begging for you back in the comments of our last episodes. We're super honored to have you both here, and I can't believe this is our fifth time playing Never Have I Ever with you guys. We've played this four times on our main YouTube channel. First, Never Have I Ever is never have I ever kept an ornament from my ex. Oh, my God. That's mean. Three, two, one. I've never. I've never, ever, ever kept an ornament from my mom from an ex. Ornaments used to be important. Important. She still talks about you. Stop. You've got to beat that. Oh, that's so funny. We'll have to take out the name of my mom's ex. That's so funny. No, because I remember there. I distinctly have memories of being a kid and putting ornaments on the Christmas tree. I'm like, who's? Yeah, I know. We did not put that on the tree. It was just in the box. Okay, just in the box. But it was written on the box, right? Dad, you're actually hilarious for being so chill with that. Honestly, I think that's really cool. It was a dog. It was a little dog. It was a little dog. That is too funny. Mom, you're hilarious. He's a quarterback. I love you guys. Okay, next we have, never have I ever. My Lord, we have really front loaded these to be spicy. Never have I ever regretted having kids. Oh, my goodness. Should we even answer that? That's like, that's so. Well, I'm okay answering it. I'm okay answering it. Okay. I guess you're the one that's not okay. Wow. Okay, put me on the spot. I guess depending on your answer, God. You just said a lot there. Okay, three, two, one. I've never. No. Okay, I feel like I definitely in the newborn phase, though, I was like, what the hell did we do? No, I think that makes sense. Like, you have a new baby that's screaming all the time. You're like, what have we done? But it's not like regret. You're just like, whoa, you just really dove into this. Yeah, but I think it's good to be honest about that because I feel like people in the newborn stage, I just, we just talked to some people in the newborn stage the other day and I could tell that they were like not doing good. Yeah. And I just felt bad for them. But it's just like a really dark period that you get through, you know? And you look back on it. You look back on it with fondness. It's not like it's like, oh, that was just all bad. I don't know if I look back on it with fondness. I'm just glad that we, I'm just glad we got through. I'm glad our marriage survived. Oh, my goodness. I think it depends on the person. I think, fortunately, Teresa was able to carry a lot of weight and I was able to do my work. Was that a weight joke or was that? Oh, my gosh. No, she took that on. She took that ownership on and was able to do it. But there's some people just can't do it. And she was able to do that. And we did notice that once the Caleb, the oldest one, started getting to the point where he was wanting all kinds of things. All kinds of attention. Then Matt came along and they started playing each other. And your boys are doing the same thing. It really takes off a lot of response, but not responsibility, just allows them to play together, have a lot of fun. It is funny how like the oldest and like middle child or whatever, like how they, or yeah, like first kid and second kid, how they take on certain like attributes. It's like, because you've said that even in our kids, it's like you're with me and my older brother, right? Yeah. That's wild. Almost exactly. And that's why dad's been suggesting we bring on this guy who wrote a book called Birth Order. Oh yeah. Kevin Lehman. Is it Lehman or Lehman? Lehman. Lehman. At least you say Lehman. Because it's a whole book about how, you know, like what attributes kids take on when they're There's something to that. There really is. He's a bestseller. Yeah. That's wild. But it's a blessing that Caleb and Griffin are and were so sweet and calm and good to their little brothers. Because we've seen differently. Yeah. We're the oldest. So Kevin, if you're out there listening to this, we need to have you on this show. Never have I ever wished to be a father. Be single for one day. Just one day. Three, two, one. I have. Oh, are you? As you wait. Oh, you've never? Just the dudes? Just the guys? No, because I can, I feel like I can, if I'm like, I need a little space. I feel like I, in a relationship, married, I can be like, I can say that and I can have that space. Yeah. It's not like I need to be single to get that. Exactly. I agree. I like the security of having you. Oh, me too. Of course. But apparently, like a break. It's about the idea. It's about the thought. Oh, it's the thought. We're not saying that we actually want. You've never thought of something stupid before? What was the question? And you did it like. Never have I ever wished to be single for a day. Wished? Yeah, wished. It's a thought. It's literally a thought. It's a fleeting thought. A fleeting thought. Remember how we talked to Dr. Arthur? Hey, your wishes could come true, buddy. This is Cinderella here. Our emotions are liars. They can be liars. They're not always lying to us, but they're supposed to keep us safe. So if marriage, it's really hard. Sometimes you're. The brain will be like, oh, man, I just wish I could be single for a day. And just like, what? And then like, you know. That's silly. You've got to like use your prefrontal cortex. I think it's the ADHD that Matt and I both have. We think we want something, but we don't really want it. You kind of blame everything on that. Yeah, but it's true. It's true. So the movie, The Notebook, helps me to kind of reflect on my life. And it's like, that's really kind of hits home with me. It's like Matt with Up. The movie. I need to watch Up with you sometime. It kind of makes me uncomfortable when you say this, but you're like, I'd rather be with your mom than anybody else. I'd rather fight with your mom than sleep with another woman. Yeah. Isn't that, you've said that? Something like that. That's from the movie, right? Yeah. Isn't that like, the guy in the movie says that? Yeah. Gosling, is that his name? Yeah. Ryan Gosling. Yeah. Ryan Gosling, yes. I just watched a movie with him yesterday on the plane. He's cute. Totally different vibe. Fall Guy. It's actually really good. I need to finish the movie. It's about, he's like a stunt performer. And then it's like a little rom-com romance going on. I don't know why I've seen that movie. I want to watch. I need to finish it. When I saw you, you were watching a rom-com by yourself. I thought it was a stuntman movie and apparently I got tricked into watching a rom-com. Okay. All right, here we go. Never have I ever seriously considered divorce, holy crap. We've already talked about this. We have. I guess some of these are throwbacks. Some of these are coming back. I think we all said. Are these questions that came in from the field recently? The field? Some of these are throwbacks. We did some field research for this. Yeah. Some of these are bringbacks. Okay. I think, is that one that we- Maybe your answer has changed. Yeah. Maybe your answer has changed. There's seasons, right? Right. Never have I ever thought about getting a divorce. Three, two, one. I have. That is not what you read the first time. No, it's, I change it. Oh, okay. Because you said seriously thought. Yeah. Everyone said. I change it up. I change it up. I mean like for one minute. Yeah. Just one minute. I mean, I'm saying not even a day. I only thought about it for one second. So the fact you said minute is kind of- Okay. The most seriously I thought about it was before we got married. No way. So it's not divorce then, but I thought about- Oh, it was before we got married. It was before we got married. Was it like a cold feet? I think you always have doubts. When you're like- I thought about, when we were engaged, I thought about leaving you. Oh, yeah. You knew that. I knew that. Yeah. I was at the altar and I was like- Oh my God. My buddies were like, come on, John. You can run now. You wouldn't even look at me at the altar. It's like, no. Too far. You wouldn't even look. Wait, John wouldn't look at you on the altar? No. He's afraid he'd start sobbing. Oh, no way. I'm such a softy. I just can't hold my emotions. That's something I did not inherit from you. I'm like, I have no emotion like mom. It's been rare. I finally- You have them. You have them. Me on antidepressants, though, I was like, whoa. I literally have none emotions at all. But now that I'm off of those, it's kind of nice to- I cried the other day. Really? I cried. Yeah. We signed Griffin up for pre-K. I teared up thinking about Griffin going to pre-K. I teared up watching the movie Up. We had so much fun with your boys this weekend. Oh, yeah. It was so much fun. Yeah. My parents have been in town this week. We were out of town for a while. We were out of town for an interview with a special guest on the show, on our podcast. And a marriage conference. So thank you guys for watching our kids while we were gone. You're so blessed. Yeah. So I had to take a shower. Teresa was doing something with her curling iron, so I put something on TV for the boys. And it came out, and Griffin had his arm around his little brother. It was so cute. I sent a picture to Matt and Abby. They're best buddies. We're so- So cute. That's really sweet. We're so lucky that they get along together so well. It was so fun to see that. So that's where you send like a spicy photo over the text message. Yes. Okay. Three, two, one. I have. You guys have never done that. No. I've never done that. No. I guess that's a young person. I don't think it's seen. I don't think Abby is. I think you two are both yes. Abby is not enough for a sign. I guess we're both yes. I'm too scared. I think that's what it is. No, I wouldn't. No. Yeah. No, I don't want that on the internet. I don't either. Someone might throw up. I think that's what that is. Maybe I was younger, but no. Even when we were younger, that happened. People had phones, you know, but we were like, oh, no way. What about a Polaroid? Oh, a Polaroid. Yeah. You guys have never taken, mom, you've never taken like a, like an artistic photo of dad with his clothes on? off no no thank you okay but matt this doesn't necessarily mean photo oh yeah oh wait yeah oh oh could be something spicy yeah that's what i'm saying like why are you like spamming eggplant emojis you know like you guys don't even know what that is no what is eggplant people you don't like an eggplant looks like oh the male privates okay oh that's not what i can't believe i just explained that oh like a peach the peach is the is the butt eggplant is is the cherries are the boobs yeah okay so wait a minute so after a clarification of what this is said spicy things but i have incognito we don't like to say it even texted verbal spicy i sent abby i text her dtf all the time oh my gosh do you know what mom's phone comes up when i send her a text it's not going number two it's just gas just a little gas you did gas yes you have yes you have you do it every hour what do you mean i would never do that okay dad you're a liar you fart so much the reason that me and caleb fart so much is because of you exactly okay i had a bite i'm gonna say yeah i have on the podcast the bino i bought bino because of you dad he hasn't a griffin's asking about that he was asking about something no no no this is what happened this morning he was like griffin's like what is this i said it's for daddy because he toots so much he's like why i said this will make him not to he says no i want him to he was like genuinely so sad no because they when i fart our kids laugh so hard every time every time every time every time i'm like oh my gosh you're lucky and i go oh tootie and they go you they just crack up and then they both do it now he toots so much remember he had to get a special seat for his car gosh that's disgusting like a coal yeah we oh yeah change that out i feel weird whenever i'm driving your car no i moved your fart pad to the side now when i drive your car i don't want to sit on the hat okay what is it supposed to do dissipate all right it's charcoal supposed to absorb the odor it's actually for that yes okay yes this one uh car seat i don't even know how this is possible maybe this is an old person thing so you guys might have to enlighten me a little bit you guys might have to enlighten me a little bit you guys might have to enlighten me a little bit during intimacy how is that even possible how do you fall asleep afterwards yeah afterwards of course but like during yeah i would say women three women two one i've never i've never during afterwards is that a real thing oh yeah i think maybe if you're like in a nursing home i heard nursing homes are like stds are like a chance yeah oh my god dad but like you're wild but yeah i got hope there's hope for me are you weird you are so weird um he falls asleep half of a second after okay now we have never have i ever forgotten my anniversary three two one never oh good we're all great in here yeah but just wait till you're 20 30 oh yeah it gets i can't think i something i need to be better about is putting people's birthdays on my phone because i never know when people's birthdays you know who's the king of that is your dad my dad's really good at that yeah why why did you get so into birthdays dad well it's because it's easy to put on uh if you have somebody's name and information address a lot of stuff put their birthday down and it'll remind you their birthday and you can set it up so it gives you a reminder a week before you're always the first one to say like hey tell your great aunt cindy happy birthday yeah and facebook too great tells you all the different birthdays did you know that facebook tells you all the birthdays are coming up for that month oh really oh yeah they i don't think oh yeah i don't even know we don't use facebook anymore dad facebook marketplace you don't buy anything no i don't yeah that's where i get all my clothes now you did have your underwear you did do you post on facebook or not okay we do we do post on facebook well i never go on facebook okay we're just reposting everything to facebook yeah matt's gonna build out his garage and i will send him facebook oh yeah information never have i ever found one of my significant others friends attractive so like it's your spouse's a friend of your spouse you've never found a friend of your spouse attractive three two one i have yeah i'm alive you've never you've never i have the hottest of them all come on wow i'm actually so i'm actually so serious there's so much better looking i'm so serious about that i can name you five guys right now better looking at me right now you're ready what trees have put down okay oh my gosh friends oh i was gonna say celebrities yeah i was about to say michael b jordan i was about to say michael b jordan are you friends with michael b jordan chris hemsworth never seen you hang out with him and troy bolton who plays troy my answer may be different if that was the case okay okay if i was friends with michael b jordan though you would say no matt i i promise you i've never been attracted to your friends you'd be tempted if my friend was michael b jordan but this is that's not the question okay fine i would be offended if you said never with my friends my friends are very attractive if i said it i found none of your friends attractive you'd be offended yes they're all so good literally i have some friends that are like single and i'm like matt say right now that they're hot and he and he's like you have done that wait you have done that a lot and it actually bothers me because i'm like this is something that we can agree on especially especially the single one like you're usually if someone's married you usually don't like care if i say they're trying or not but if it's someone that's single it makes you mad that they're saying i'm like just admit yeah they should not be single they are a catch yeah and then you're like i'm like i've never seen you do that well that's probably good i guess no because then i think you're lying to me because i'm like they are so no no no truce you got a mile long of my friends like that friend just a neighborhood specific friends you can don't name no no no not none of your friends now i just like to have my conversations with abby about attractive people because then that makes me feel like i'm not crazy i'm like we all know that that like that person was like a good-looking person right i think it's crazy if you can't admit that other people are good-looking yeah but i'm being honest when i say that i've never been attracted to your friends well i'm fed now i'm offended i'm mad none of his roommates i'm angry you don't you're not attracted to your friends i'm mad none of his roommates i'm angry you don't you're not attracted to your friends i'm mad none of his roommates i'm angry you don't you're not attracted to your friends my groomsmen garrett and brendan how dare you i love your groomsmen garrett and brendan i appreciate garrett and brendan even more because they said recently that you mega scored with me and i was like thanks guys okay good that's good i've had so many people that are like matt just so you know you really got lucky so don't ever do anything stupid that's so nice never have i ever pretended i didn't see someone so i wouldn't have had to talk to them oh that's a good one yeah three two one i have i hate that i've done that you never do that i'm usually the person that wants to go say hi to them but every once in a while there'll be somebody that i'm just like oh god i can't they can't see me right now like i don't know why i'm mostly thinking of like if you have just like spent a long time talking to someone and then you walk away and then you cut and you see them again you're like i can't reopen this yeah and so then i just pretend not to see them the second time that is weird or like i've been a store and i'm in a hurry like i'm late for something else oh god i'm like i'm in a hurry i'm like i'm late for something else i'm like i'm kind of a time nazi i mean i just think it's respectful so anyway i i know that person's going to talk forever so i'm just like oh my gosh i'm gonna go down this aisle because i know they're like a 20 minute talker it would be rude just to go hi bye you know so if i saw someone in arizona i would almost certainly say hi just because it happened so infrequently but if it was in quincy i would have maybe maybe not said hi a couple times this one's pretty good this is i don't want to always say something too though i usually say hi but like theresa said like one person sometimes you see somebody and it's like oh my gosh i don't have 10 minutes to talk to them i gotta go and it would be rude to be a five second thing right i'd rather be better now you guys are both so chatty too when you guys are on a walk and you see a random person do you go hello how's it going do you do any of those she teases me okay he stops to talk to everybody i'm like we're on a walk i say hi good to see you and keep going you know i'm literally training my brain right now just to go hi when i'm like running yeah sometimes i try to like say a full sentence i'm like what am i doing right now i need i'm running i know we're trying to get this minimum exercise in our neighborhood that when i go on walks i always see him and he's usually eating a popsicle just by himself wait really i love it that's so sweet i'm like that's just self-care right there i gotta start doing that never have i ever stalked someone on social media so hard i almost liked something of theirs three two one i have oh you guys have never done that i think that's a young person thing you guys have never gone on someone's social media like i've stalked someone driving wait what do you mean see i think it's you've stalked someone before we were married wait what is that what do you what do you mean like go you know driving are you serious you stop someone driving you guys go ahead with the question i got it no boy no we're stopping right here wait we're letting theresa talk she's dug herself a hole i want to see how deep she can get i think that's a young person thing no no i was crazy i don't even see your top of her head she's so deep in her head i want to know who this was now the christmas ornament person oh my gosh because you broke you broke up and you wanted to see what they're up to oh my gosh that's so funny oh my gosh how many times just once okay just once i was well that is like no that's the thing though like with exes mom like people will do that stock and like really no one time it i'm not that crazy i've kind of been curious of an old girlfriend that she's doing but i don't want to i've even said to you like i'd like with you sitting there just to know if they're married if they have kids i mean you know what i mean i'd be fine with that i'm not i think one like give his ornament back oh shoot we need to we need to put that ornament up in the studio i think we should bring that we should do that that would be really funny i can't think of anyone in particular if we put the ornament on no i i would put it on mine yeah it would be fun what if we get it like replicated so we can just have it like covering the tree i'm sorry that's so bad we should have uh our uh video of our uh engagement turn into some type of digital thing and send it to you and you can have like what's creepy now you guys is like with ai you could probably do so much like you could probably make it show it you could enhance it really good you could also make it show you could have it like add a bat like a backtrack let's do that and and you could be like add b-roll so it could be like it make uh b-roll that looks like it was made from that time period and have like shot like very professional shots of the church or whatever make you look better yeah seriously no you guys looked great no you still do look amazing but looking at old photos when you like yeah you guys look so much better than you not what i'm saying back in the day not what i'm saying never have i ever stalked an ex online okay that's interesting um now that i feel like that's a lame question though because we don't have like we would be the ones to do that like i've done it literally i've just driven that's it yeah i guess i guess three two one we're cheating because we don't have you have you stopped looked at it just looked at i guess you could say i looked at it i got facebook because you've went and looked at an ex's facebook i've never with this facebook stop we're so old nobody posed that stuff yeah it's like my profile it's like their profile picture or you know older she's a hairdresser i have done it for people that i went on dates with i still do with you i still do i'm so curious wait yeah no we both we've done that in front of each other we're like what's that person up to yeah check him out yeah yeah especially i think it's funny because abby's like i never dated anybody else and then i come to find out i'm like you guys spooned on the couch and you said you never dated like i didn't know that was a category that like literally unnerved matt he was like what did it feel like cuddling with another guy on the couch her and another man have cuddled dad i was like that i had to go to therapy about that so you weren't dating but you did that yeah what's that called yeah we went on dates and i was like i don't know i don't know i don't know it's called going on dates but i'm like i didn't know spooning on the couch was a date i thought that was like you're dating that dude you know like i bet if you were to ask these people if they dated me they would say no yeah did he slap you on the on the butt cheeks i doubt that oh my gosh i really highly doubt all right well okay oh my gosh go into therapy for that we ran into dad's girlfriend's ex oh you and i were dating yeah we just been we were dating and she showed up at a party i didn't think she looked that great i just was being nice i said well you look great just to have some type of comment you don't say that she was so mad at me the rest of the night who says that that wasn't a good call john see but i was gonna be nice because obviously i was thinking just the opposite i didn't think she looked she was a hairdresser she changed her hair quite a bit and that night i saw her her hair did not look good to me and i just i'm like you just say nice seeing you not you look great okay if i ever do it again that's what i'll say how long did it take for you to change your hair that's a long way off and on for but two years oh yeah that's not good no and i knew it was the most serious person he did she look would she actually look great though no he said no okay i was just so he's lying i was trying to be friendly but i didn't know that that's messy i didn't know that at the party i'm standing there and he's like you look great i'm like okay that was weird is that for me nope see matt does that too though he puts his foot in his mouth sometimes and it's like you know that they're like they're good we're just dumb i got it i got it i get it from my dad and i was like put it on me i'm okay okay we have never have i ever googled myself three two one i have it's my worst fear but i have yeah you haven't no you've never chatted gpt i've asked chat gpt what can you tell me about me it actually says that's so weird it's not weird it's just telling you the things you've asked questions about so it says i like uh my bible study i like working out i like my job that's not googling yourself that's not google that's great like chat gpt has like personal insight on you right that's what i'm saying there's so many john howard second it's like yeah that's hard with a name like john howard is like you know three thousand like them you guys so i used to i used to look it up just out of curiosity and i would see me it was it was all the pictures of me being a child actor from like being in the sound of music yes there's pictures of me so if you like 10 years ago if you would have googled matt howard muni or matthew howard muni or matthew howard wow i don't know that stages st louis because that was the other professional theater well it was all the theaters because like we signed releases for them to put our faces up on the theater website and then the news would cover the local professional shows so then i would look back and be like man i really peaked early like i'd be like i was so much more like successful as a 12 year old i made i made three thousand dollars that was a lot though was it actually three thousand yes at the muni and we just put that in my savings yes or did okay for college yeah i guess i did make that account but then the stages look am i gonna get sued for saying this but then we did the smaller professional theater in st louis that didn't have as much budget and then it was 300 bucks but we did like 40 shows oh my gosh so it was like if you're doing the math it was like 42 shows in a month i was getting paid a penny an hour seriously 42 shows in a month yes and you were driving and you drove me to it all how much were the tickets there were a lot this episode is brought to you by paypal you know how a mom's bag has everything sunscreen snacks a stapler the new paypal app is like that but for your money shop pay manager account and earn rewards all in one place and with purchase protection on eligible items biometric security and pass keys you're protected at every step download the new paypal app to get started see paypal.com protection terms pink panther is here coach and spotify are bringing music and style together and they want you to be part of it grab your friends and head to the tabby tour hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists exclusive experiences and personalized products and discover custom playlists on spotify but just for you based on who you are and how you listen live your story with coach learn more at coach.com thank you to ollie pop for sponsoring this portion of today's episode matt do the honors do i get to drink it too yeah sure oh yeah baby we love that sound and actually we just recently went to a marriage conference and we had to make a statement about who we want to be as a couple and as a family and i'm gonna be honest with you one of the top things we said is we want to be a family that has a great drink selection yes and that's why we always have ollie pop stocked at the top of our fridge stocked always it's my favorite thing and when people compliment us about having all of our ollie pops at the top of our fridge highest compliment i feel really good about myself honestly this family is very pro ollie pop if you cannot tell we love it so much because ollie pop is a new kind of soda that combines the classic soda taste with the benefits of a functional ingredient blend to support 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slash unplanned to find and instantly book a doctor you love today that's z-o-c-d-o-c.com slash unplanned zoc doc.com slash unplanned thanks to zoc doc for sponsoring this message thank you neutrophil for sponsoring this portion of today's episode i am currently in a stage where i'm trying to grow my hair out and i feel like a lot of the women i talk to now kind of go through these same changes together you get an urge to chop your hair and then you got to spend the next several months growing it back out but i think it's good to do this because then you're growing out healthier hair especially if you are supplementing with neutrophil and that's the thing real change doesn't come from some big flashy moment it comes from the routines you commit to every day it's the small things you do every day that quietly add up to your hair and that's the thing real change over time and that's the idea behind Nutrafol. 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For a limited time, Nutraful is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping. When you go to Nutraful.com, and enter promo code unplanned pod, that's Nutraful.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com promo code unplanned pod. Never have I ever read someone's diary or private messages in this family. Three, two, one. I don't believe that. I've read Abby's private diary and you've read my private diary. Yeah. We've read each other's. I don't even know where her private diary is. Like a journal where you like write about your life. She journals, I don't. But have you read? Have you read mine? It's not going to be found. You've never read his messages? Do you mean like his text messages? Yeah. Oh, text messages? Yes, but I thought you said private. Private messages. You've never read mom's journal and you know about it? Yeah. You've never done that? I'm pretty boring, I guess. Well, you're pretty much an open book and I'm an open book. I guess we're not. I guess we're just, we're holding secrets. But you see my texts because they show up on my iPad. But I didn't know what private messages mean. MacBook Pro. MacBook Pro. What's private messages? Just that you're not a part of. Yeah, just a private. Oh, I see. Yeah. Like when you're sending messages up your private. I'm in a group called FOSPA and I was meeting this guy Bill at FOSPA and there's a bar there and he sends a text. He goes, I said, hey, I'm running late, Bill. I'll be there shortly. And he goes, oh, okay. I'll wait for you at the bar with the girls. Well, she's at home using our computer, which gets the messages. It pops up. His text. He's talking about his wife and then this girl, Danielle, who's also in the group. I'll be at the bar with the girls. The girls. Yeah. And you see that message. That's when I'm working and it comes up. Did you call his dad? You're like, what the hell is going on? Yeah. So I come home and she goes, hey, I saw your text from Bill. It's like, Bill, Bill. She knows Bill. She knows Bill's wife. Who are the girls? Who are the girls? Yeah. She goes, oh yeah. Did you pay him? He said that he'll meet you at the bar with the girls. I go, yeah, his wife and Danielle. She's one of the ladies in our executive board. And so I was like. It was just funny. And she was just teasing me about it. Wouldn't you think? But then I told Bill. He thought it was so funny. Yeah. That's actually really funny. Yeah. Yeah. I've read Matt's journal. He's read my journal. Yeah, we did. We've done that. Yeah. I know everything about you. You do. And you know everything about me. True. So you didn't want somebody. You should lock it or put it somewhere where you wouldn't want. I don't think there's anything that I'd be like, I don't want you to read that. I warned you sometimes. Like if I was really mad at you, I was like, hey, by the way, if you read this. I've read some angry journal entries. I'm like, hey, by the way, it's not nice. And you're like, I want to read it. I don't know why you like reading that. Actually, it really helps me understand you. Like I feel like it like reading your your personal diary helps me like completely understand your brain. And then everything makes sense. I'm like, of course she was upset, you know, because like if you're upset, you come out of a good angle. It really helps me. Yeah. Because there's all this stuff going on in here that I just don't know about. Yeah. But I don't care. And when I say private, I mean, like I didn't write it for his eyes. Yeah. But it's fine if you read it. Yeah. Or told the kids not to tell mom or dad. Three, two, one. I have. I have. Oh, yeah. OK. What's the story? Dad's 40th surprise party. Yeah. I knew you couldn't keep it in. Caleb knew. But did I still spoil it? No, you found out like a day before something. But also, why would you tell your five year old that? That's pretty. I didn't tell you. I think we were going there to decorate or I don't know that, you know, we did a lot of decorating because like yeah, we've told our kids things and they just they just tell everybody, you know? Yeah. They don't know the concept of secret. They don't. Yeah. Good. Yeah, it is good. Little kids should never have secrets. Yeah. And mine was when I never did ask questions about things. And Matt was asked all kinds of questions about sex. Yep. And all kinds of Easter Bunny, Christmas. I nailed you on the Easter Bunny. I was like, Dad, you're a liar. Oh, you saw stuff in the car, right? That was Caleb. I just fit. The next day, we had a heated debate in the second grade lunchroom. Matt, who might be listening? I probably shouldn't be listening. Yeah, this is not appropriate for children. Okay. But like we we were debating Santa being real. And I was like, no, like, guys, I'm this. This is ridiculous. I'm grilling my dad tonight. This is we're having a conversation. It's going down. I'm going to interrogate him. And I did. And you came clean. So I was like, because then I was like, once I figured out Santa wasn't real, gosh, they read it. People really should not be listening to this with kids. But once I figured out Santa wasn't real, gosh, I figured out that Santa was not real. Then I grilled you about the Easter Bunny, about the Tooth Fairy. Is there another one? There's like, we also believed in like a second Santa, like the Saint Nick. Yeah. Which we said came to do our stockings one time. Yeah. I think you did that one. You're feeling like extra, like in your mom era. And we're like, let's do stockings. It'll be so cute. Yeah, it's probably like that, that that generation's version of Elf on the Shelf with kids. Oh, yeah, I opted out of Elf on the Shelf. Yeah, we're not doing Elf on the Shelf. Too much. It's too much. We're not an Elf on the Shelf household. See, I adopted Elf on the Shelf. No, it's silly. No, that's stupid. You're welcome to have an Elf at your house. It's too much. I got an Elf. Christmas is not about that. And if you do that at your house, we cannot be friends. Yeah. No, I think we can just say, wow, that's so fun. They have an Elf at their house. No, we can't be friends. I don't think we can be friends with those people. No, I don't think it needs to be a divisive thing. Oh, my gosh. It's a divisive thing. But I, okay, it does make your life easier, probably. I need all my friends to collectively agree that next year, no, we're not doing that. No Elf. Okay. Never have I ever made up a rule for my kids on the spot. Uh, yeah. Oh, for sure. I have. I have. I don't remember, but. New rule. What did I do? I'll say that. New rule. Matt, you can just tell that sometimes it's like he knows he needs to step in and say something. But like, I get this way, too, where you're just like, it's like, but why? But why? And you just like get confused. But why? But why? And so Matt's like, we don't do that because and then he'll just like make something up. And we like try to abide by the rule. You try to abide by the rule of never lying to our kids. No, I don't lie to them, but I'm like, why? But sometimes. Like, how do I verbalize? Oh, I love this because you used to ask me why about everything. No, no, no. But like, okay. Everything. Seriously, it's with Griffin right now. It's like, why? Dad, why do we have to stop at the stop sign? I'm like, because it says stop. But like, but why? And I'm like, well, it's because like when the, when something says stop, you have to, you have to listen and like, and actually stop. He said, but why? And it's like, well, it's because we're on a road and we have to let people go. And he'll just keep asking questions over. No, but my favorite is him telling Griffin. Like you don't remember you did this. So I think, I think I literally need to just, well, he can't read right now. I also don't want to say because I said so. No, but no, but when you're about to lose it. I've never said, because I've said, I've never done that. I have. I know you did. After 300 times. My favorite is Matt trying to tell Griffin that he can't, Griffin can't smack me on the butt. Oh yeah. That's only for me to do. And then he's like, but why? And I'm like, cause he's my wife. I'm like, that is confusing. And when you have a wife, you can smack her in the butt too. That's cute. Only daddies can smack, smack mommy's butt. But that's just a recent rule that we started. Yeah. That was funny. That's funny. You were smacking your butt? Yes. And in public. Yeah. Both of them. In public. That's yeah. Everywhere. Sometimes. Yeah. It's not like I said. She said it was really crossing a line. It was really crossing a line. I did not say because I said, so like first off, it's not like I said, it's not like I said, it's not like I said, it's after like 20 times and I was going to explode. So it was bad to say that. If you guys want to know what my mom was like when, uh, when I was a kid, just watch, look at like Trunchable from Matilda. What show is that? Matilda. She had to put a tight ship, ship three points. Three points. I want to, I want to watch that movie with our kids. I think you would scar them for life though right now. No, we can't show them. Cause it's spooky. Like there's certain parts of movies when you're a kid. The Chokey? No, the Matilda, I was a kid. Scared me a lot. Yeah. But I watched it all the time. I really would. Okay. Never have I ever secretly enjoyed embarrassing my child in public. Why would you embarrass your child in public? That's so dark. I've never. Three, two, one. That's so messed up. That's sick. I've never. I would not want to do it. I actually think about this a lot though. I think we can unintentionally do that. Give me like an example. I think people do this with their toddlers when they yell at their kids in public. Oh. Like, or publicly punish them. Oh, like yelling at them? I think some moms, I think some moms. Oh, I hate when I say this. I think some moms of toddlers really want other parents to hear them parenting. Yeah. So they feel like they're doing a good job. Yeah. And so they're like, we do not do it. And then they're really loud in public about it. And I think that embarrasses their children. Yeah. I hate that. And that's not a good form of punishment. That makes me like want to get in a fist fight with those people. Like, I'm just like, why are you doing that type of thing? Why are you? Yeah. Why are you? Yeah. It's like, do you even like being a parent? Like, I don't know. No. It bothers me. It happens all the time. It happened yesterday in the airport. I know. But I feel like, oh wait, that dude that did that in the airport too. I wanted to slap that guy. It made me so sad because her face was just so, she felt humiliated. Yeah. You're just like yelling at your, and that girl was so little, so cute. Her cheeks were so red. She meant no wrong. She wasn't actually so little. She was like eight. And so then I'm like. But like it happens all the time too. Even in disney world which i'm like why are you doing this and ruining the the most fun day for your kids wow wait way to go magical place on earth i was trying to think it's been funny to say i know but i also think kids really want to behave if they have a good relationship with you yeah and so like embarrassing them is just like the that's like putting you completely on the opposite team and this i'll never forget this certain things i don't know why i can't forget but you had just started at one of the medical companies i'm not going to say which one but we walked in in springfield illinois and this one man came to meet you and he had his three sons which we didn't know we were going to have three sons but he's like this is the i don't know if this is yeah he literally said this is my smart one billy this is my athletic one johnny and i'm like i'm thinking my creative one i'm like you are weird what are you doing you are labeling don't label your kids right to us telling us that yeah and that bothered me for this day how often does he say that to his kids yeah because if he was telling these strangers he didn't even know we didn't even have kids yet and i was like this is wrong this is that's what they're gonna think of themselves that's what you labeled them as dad always called me the ballet one so i thought i had to do ballet you know that's why i did it in college twinkle toes he called you hey twinkle toes get over here did you actually no no i didn't know you were a one token straight dude in the shows though i remember that like a conversation one there was more than one i know but like there i remember the conversations that with dad were like dad literally like nothing wrong with this but he was just like out of curiosity wanting to worry like wanting to know i'll be like yeah so like do you think you like do you think you like guys or girls or what and i'm like i like girls dad like i don't know i you know dads yeah yeah never have i ever flirted my way out of a speeding ticket i tried i mean i've never flirted my way out of a i mean i wasn't flirting with the dude but i was just like with the dude i was like i was like hey officer that's a mighty big holster you got there oh my god no i was just like i was like yeah i i did not realize that i was going that fast that doesn't sound like flirting to me i don't know i just like i'm just i'm like theresa never maybe if i'm just honest right now you look like you work out no i always get them i mean i i mean it only happened twice i've only i got two have you flirted your way out no i was crying i know i was crying okay the first one this is how long ago you were in my belly you were pregnant with me and i had caleb and that's exactly what happened he said i made a left on red and it it was yellow it was orange but anyway i'm like you know anyway and so yeah i was crying and then just recently my tags were expired and i didn't know it and like i was like oh i'm so sorry i i had no i really didn't know and uh and you still gave me yeah and for that guy you know who you are you're a loser if you're watching this you're a loser never have i ever uh smoked a cigarette i've never smoked a cigarette i've only ever had a cigar have you guys ever had an actual cigarette never you smoked a cigarette oh my mom smoked all the time as best with those cigarettes yeah it's part of the reason she died yeah but i had smoked i wanted to learn how to blow the rings and all that stuff yeah yeah and pop the cigarette right now i'm so glad i almost got into vaping in college like i had a i had a roommate that vaped and i thought it was kind of cool and stuff and i'm glad i never did it because now all this information is coming out it's the opposite of cool like i i tried his vape a couple times like oh maybe i should get one of those college yeah because like they marketed it as this better for you clean like not you know non-toxic uh you know version of smoking and now all these kids are getting like popcorn lung and there's all this information coming out about how it causes cancer and so and some people even have even said how's i don't know but apparently it's worse because water can get hotter yeah apparently it can like the the the steam or whatever can like be really harmful for your lungs but yeah people are saying now that vaping is worse than smoking which is i don't know if that's true i haven't researched water can get yeah was this a when you rented the house yeah okay these are downers i know okay let's do a funny one never have i ever had a cosmetic procedure done three two one i have i guess i have both had that never my teeth i'm gonna say you're i think veneers are cosmetic yeah hair transplant is cosmetics we both had cosmetics i got more work i need to get done down the line too oh my gosh i prep my dad every day of his life i feel like yeah you keep telling your dad you need a boob job i oh my gosh i think if i were to have any more cosmetic work done i'd probably maybe one day maybe when i'm like if i get when i get wrinkler like my i have wrinkles underneath my eyes so maybe one day i'll get botox but i don't like my i don't think it's a wart i don't think it's technically a wart i think it's technically um a mole uh uh they told me what it was skin tag some sort of skin thing but i i asked about getting it off when i was or like a birthmark is i think what they said at the dermatologist but um you have to get like a specialist to do it the guy that i talked to couldn't even do it like a plastic surgeon because so they don't have a scar yeah it's so little it is little i've had that since i was gosh yeah before we started i think i was nine years old when it like became permanent yeah i got made fun of for it when i was nine and i think ever since then i've not wanted it oh my you can't even see it well yeah i mean i i kind of just i accepted it but yeah you know i've never clearly no i've never you actually have never have i ever been walked in on three two going bathroom i've never no doing the deed doing the deed never that's never happened to us i don't i don't think they ever did i think we have do you count it as us as kids knocking on your door and then dad no one of us is knocking on your door the door push in the door and it finally came open are you somebody yeah yeah it's been so long oh my gosh that's terrifying that wasn't me um knocking you definitely not like yeah i i think there's i figured out when i was older it's like why is dad sometimes like there's their doors like randomly locked it's never like why is it like only locked once a month you know and and like i knock on the door and then he opens the door and like you're you don't have any clothes on like that's weird not naked you don't have any clothes on yeah no where he's like i mean underwear no he's like head peeks over so you don't even see his his stuff but i'm i'm just like clearly you don't have clothes on or you wouldn't be doing that you know that's funny or picked up another blanket my head was there and i'm down i'm looking for something that's weird i can't you want to tell people on the podcast what you did when i was a kid what i did yeah what you're i mean what you're explaining right now the oh yeah boxers oh oh i was putting josh to bed and it was dark and i had these boxers and it was halloween and i bought them yeah it was golden dark boxers they had like ghosts on it so i was reading to him and then i got oh i'm gonna take the boxers off and go around the room like i'm flying well he thought i was flying because it's totally dark but i was took my boxers off and i was naked and taking my boxers and going around and then i put them back on i didn't say anything and then later on uh josh realized oh that was gross dad yeah but at the time he loved it yeah he thought i was fine that's cute yeah yeah he's like weird yeah two years old never never have i done it in a public space three what does public space mean you know what it means never i have we have and she has i've never what is that we talked about this last night she prefers it you know stop that is not true hey you want another snack okay mommy okay let's go guys can we just blur okay never have i ever oh wait no you guys didn't answer that one so what's the answer to that one this is when we were first married was it like in a bathroom or something closet oh my gosh that looked like at a party that's a mall union station wait wait wait wait wait you first married actual union station yes oh but you're in your car union station in a closet what wait what why do they just have closets why do they just have closets laying around at union i don't know but that was a long time ago oh my gosh wait was this before after you guys were married yes yes did you guys wait till marriage i don't know yes yes we do not yes we waited to marriage yes oh he's crying oh he wants to see us oh augie what's wrong do you miss us oh you want to watch us okay sit hey wait you sit right there okay you want to watch us now we need to censor the rest of ours yeah they just told me about how they did it what we're talking about yeah i guess that's true he doesn't know what we're talking about yeah all right um wait so that was like a thing that people like is is that normal like i don't know if people who who does you have don't act like you haven't you said i've never and that's not true i don't think we have plain we've never we tried to but it didn't happen oh oh abby got to know abby who started freaking out she's panicking too she was yelling oh my gosh no at that point i was like we're already getting yelled at might as well finish you know you you what but like we start what we get here to do okay okay um all right we have never have i ever gotten seriously hung over okay one two three i have one time i have one time i think the time that i know theresa's story the ice teas yeah the long island i didn't know i was your 21st birthday yeah i didn't know that was gonna happen but it was awful and dad what was your time uh we went to a super bowl party and uh they were serving something to have a punch yeah you drove with me home I don't remember I getting home but you drove me home my god which house I think it was Lou Ladges had a party oh is that so silly Augie we have an audience never have I ever snooped through a host bathroom without them knowing is that like a thing where you're like in the bathroom and you're like people do that like a medicine cabinet girl like what is all in the bathroom what are you taking I've done yeah I've done that before I don't think I've ever done that I'm gonna say I've never I don't know if that's weird or if that like is that bad like should you not snoop through someone's bathroom yeah you probably shouldn't I don't think you shouldn't yeah what if they are taking some medicine that you know they don't want you to know they're taking I wouldn't do it in a private like in a master like a private bathroom but if I was like in their guest bathroom yeah in their guest bathroom if you're looking for something like a feminine product like oh yeah especially there's like there's a genuine need to look for a feminine product yeah never have I ever still snooping never have I gotten a hickey I three two one I have I have I definitely have I think I gave you one one time you have personally had a hickey maybe I'm maybe I'm thinking of myself giving it to you yeah I was like that would be very weird and your grandma asked about it when we were in high school oh my gosh what did she ask what was the question she's like what did you do to your lip because why was it on my lip like let's be honest that's you were just sucking her lip too hard your grandma low-key is like your second mom Abby it's so funny which grandma Vicky as well no there's a girl that I danced with that would always get hickeys all over and she would wear like a scarf to dance and we're like why are you dancing in an infinity scarf right now dad what about you I think at some point somebody did a hickey somebody did a hickey how many my gosh one of the women I've been with you know I don't remember either one of us doing that I don't think I gave her a hickey no it's kind of weird I feel like if you do it it has to be intentional and then in which case why are you doing that right and never have I ever lied while playing this game oh my gosh I can't believe it one two three I've never I've never I've been honest maybe I just I'm being yeah that maybe I have you might have lied during the game yeah but I'm not gonna say what because then you just jeopardized the whole show mom you now I'm gonna have to go watch I'm gonna have to re-watch this whole video to see which one you lied during well everybody while you're busy looking through to see which one my mom lied during oh yeah I just want to let you know that we really appreciate you here's a review actually from Apple Podcast from CobaltCookies6226 I've been listening to the podcast since it came out and constantly every episode brightens my day my week simply isn't the same without it I love your honest transparency and love that shines so well so they said you're the best host oh you are the best hosts I think is what they're saying that's so nice thank you for leaving that review yeah if you guys didn't know that you can leave a review on Apple or Spotify both those platforms allow reviews and on YouTube if you're watching here please subscribe that would mean the world to us because most people that watch actually don't subscribe which is really sad hey hit that like button we should have your parents on again more sooner than or sooner than I know it's been like over a year it's been over a year since you guys were on the show we need to make this more frequent this was fun okay pay for our flight alright I did pay for dad's flight to be here thank you yes thank you we had the best time visiting your children babysitting it was so much fun seeing the boys and the dog I enjoyed it I'll just say the boys yeah we love you guys and you're welcome and you're welcome to stay with us anytime you want go give them a hug thanks we love you guys love you do you want to say anything into the mic do you want to say I'm going to go bye pink panther is here coach and spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together and they want you to be part of it grab your friends and head to the tabby tour hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists exclusive experiences and personalized products and discover custom playlists on spotify built just for you based on who you are and how you listen live your story with coach learn more at coach.com this episode is brought to you by netflix's news series east of eden a bold reimagining of john steinbeck's masterpiece following generations of the trask family through love betrayal and the choices that shape humanity starring mike feist and christopher abbott as the trask brothers and florence pew as kathy ames the complex anti-heroine determined to build the life she wants no matter the cost watch east of eden october 1st only on netflix on any journey using uber it helps to know you're getting into the right car pin verification adds an extra step to make sure your ride is your ride before the trip begins your app gives you a unique pin just tell it to your driver and they'll enter it in their app before the ride can start hey what's your pin mm-hmm two five three eight that way you know you're in the right car taking the right trip and your driver knows you're the right passenger make sure your ride is your ride with pin verification from uber one more way uber is putting safety at every turn learn more on the uber app