Nervous Before the Performance

Shut up and sit down. Welcome to Being On Stage, the only podcast that gives you motivation, inspiration, and confidence to be better on stage. No matter how you entertain, sing, dance, band, comedian, public speaking, MC, drag, burlesque, performance art, or street performer, this is the show for you. Hey Rockstars, Reggie Dawson here, your host of the show. Welcome back to the Being On Stage podcast. And hey, if this is your first time tuning in, welcome, glad to have you. Thanks for pressing play. It has been quite some time since I have tackled the subject of stage fright. You know, I lump confidence in with stage fright, nervousness, performance anxiety, it's all relatively the same thing. I kind of lump it all together, but it's been a while since I tackled that topic. And it came up in conversation this past week. I was working with somebody who was getting ready to do a presentation. And actually, we were talking after the presentation. And that's the thing about this podcast, you'll see. It's called Being On Stage. It's about being on any stage. No matter what you're doing on stage, no matter what type of performance it is, you can be a singer, a dancer, a musician, all the way to a comedian, a magician, or a juggler, or something like that. Even, you know, a speaker, a life coach, well, life coach, I guess, would be a speaker, fall under speaker, because you'd be a speaker. Or even if you're just, you know, tackling a presentation in the boardroom. All of that is considered a performance, and it all kind of falls under being on stage. So, I was talking to someone about a presentation they were doing. And they happened to schedule a call with me, because that's what they were looking for. They actually wondered if that was something I could help them with. Which, ta-da, I can. Because it's a performance, you know. You're presenting your idea, or your vision, or your work in front of an audience. And whether that audience is, you know, in a bar, or a club, or a theater, or a conference room, it's all relative. It's all being on stage. It's all a performance. So, in speaking with this person about the presentation they had just completed, they were talking to me about how nervous they were. And how they felt nervous going into it. They felt like they messed up a couple of times. And, you know, but they recovered pretty well. And they were kind of reflecting. And that's something you should always do, by the way. Especially as you're building up your confidence, and you're tackling your stage fright little by little. You always want to reflect. You always want to reflect and see where you did well, and where you could do differently. Now, you notice where I started was where you do well. It is very, very easy to pick yourself apart. But you have to give yourself the recognition. And the applause, sometimes, that you rightfully deserve. And that you've earned. Because there are some positives in your performance. No matter how you feel about it. No matter how you feel about it in your gut. And how much you want to tear yourself apart. There's always positives to it. So, in this conversation, the fact of being nervous came up. And I told her, and I've said this before on the podcast. But I think it's been a little while since I put this out there. Being nervous is absolutely 100% a good thing. It is not something you should. Ever want to go away. Eventually, you'll be able to turn that nervousness into excitement. And it is that. It becomes that sort of, well, for lack of a better phrase. It becomes that sort of drug that your excitement feeds on, that nervousness. The knots in your stomach, and the butterflies, and you know, the dry mouth, and the sweaty palms. You actually will start to feed on that. Because you know, deep in your heart, you know deep in your gut, and in your soul, and just in every fiber of your being, you know that you care about what you're putting out there. No matter what it is. Whether it's your vision, your art, your ideas. Whatever you're putting out there is a part of you. And you should care about it. So, of course, you're going to be nervous. You're putting. You are literally extracting a piece of yourself and putting it on display for the world to see. Well, at least. Maybe not the world. Maybe at least the people in the room. You're putting a part of yourself on display. For people in the room. You should absolutely always be nervous about that. Of course, you know, and you will hear me talk about how you don't really need to worry about what people think. And that part's true. You don't need to worry about what people think about what you're doing. But of course, you're going to be nervous about how they're going to perceive that part of you that you're putting out there. You should be nervous about that. There's no right or wrong perception, and you can't make everybody like you. And you're going to have nights, and this is me talking blunt, by the way. Listen to this podcast. You've learned. You know me by now. And if you don't, you will. So this is me being blunt. Not everybody's going to like you. Not everybody's going to understand you. And you have to be okay with that. You have to be okay with still putting yourself out there. You have to be okay and confident enough in who you are and your own vision to say, This is what I offer you. And, you know, you're going to grow. You're going to get better. And you're going to find that spot. And what's it called? Oh, I always struggle with words when I'm on a roll. Man, it just leaves my mind and it drives me nuts. It's kind of like a sweet spot. You find that sweet spot of nervous and excited. That's what it is. You find that sweet spot and you roll with it. And that's where your confidence comes in. That sweet spot is where your confidence comes in. That nervous, excited, that's where you build confidence. You're going to have nights that don't go so well. I'm, again, being blunt. Again, not everyone's going to like you. But you've got to keep putting yourself out there. So that nervousness you feel, that little bit of anxiety, that feeling of, oh, man, the worst feeling in the world right before you go on stage. So every single time I perform, and this is, like, without fail, I get the nervousness, too. And we all do. So you're not alone. Every person that steps on stage, you all do it. I do it. It's all of us. We all do it. You know, I'm always pacing backstage, pacing back and forth, back and forth. I used to be a smoker. And I know it's terrible as a performer, smoking. But listen, we all have our vices. That was my vice. I don't smoke anymore. I quit February 2, 2016, and have not looked back. So back when I was a smoker, I would smoke a cigarette. I was pacing back and forth. You know, my heart was beating. My stomach was nodding up a little bit. And we've all felt it. And then all of a sudden, the worst feeling you could possibly imagine, as your name is about to be called, you have to go to the bathroom. Yeah, yeah, we all tell me. Please tell me I'm not the only one. But you always have to pee. And I know I'm not the only one, because I've had other people that I've worked with, and both colleagues and clients and everything, we all go through it. That inevitable feeling of, great, now I've got to go to the bathroom. On top of all this, I've got to go to the bathroom. First, I don't really have a whole lot of advice there, except look at the time. And if you've got time, do your thing. And if you don't got time, it's usually in your head anyways. So it's part of your nervousness. So the biggest piece of advice I give people that are nervous, and I'll get to where I finished with the person I was speaking with this week. But the biggest piece of advice I give people when you're nervous is when you're pacing and you're starting to have that little bit of freak out and that knot in your stomach, and you're going through that, focus on the first 30 seconds. That's it. That's all you need. Right before the show, you should not be running through the whole thing. You should not be doing a last-minute rehearsal. Focus on getting through the first 30 seconds. Because after the first 30 seconds, you're going to become comfortable. You're going to adapt. You're going to realize that there's nothing out there that's going to harm you. You're going to realize that the people out there want to support you. They want you to succeed. Your audience is not there to watch you fail at all. Your audience wants you to succeed. No matter if they know you or don't know you. Listen, you could be a performer on a cruise ship who these people have never seen, heard of, or even thought they would ever see you perform. Like, never even crossed their mind. And I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I'm just painting a picture here. So even if these people have never seen or heard of you before, they come for a show, and they want you to be successful in that show. Because when you are successful, they are entertained. Which, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. That's why they showed up in the first place. Nobody wants to see you fail. Nobody is there to make fun of you. Nobody is there to poke fun. People want you to just be you. To see what you have to offer. To see what you can do. People are there to support your art. All you have to do is get through the first 30 seconds, and your body will realize that. And you will become comfortable. You will become looser. 30 seconds may feel a little rough. Actually, the first 10 seconds are probably going to feel rough. They're probably going to feel rough. Get through 30. Focus on 30 seconds. After 30 seconds, you're already out there. You're already doing it. You might as well give it your all and crush the show to pieces in a good way. In an amazingly good way. Being nervous means you care about what you're putting out there. And I think it's a damn good thing to do. I think it's awesome. I think it's great when a performer is nervous. And people ask me, people ask me all the time I get asked and you guys know I also have worked a little bit in the corporate game um I've done some presentations I've done like awards and things like that uh and lots and lots of speaking in front of people in trainings and people ask me all the time and they ask me even when I you know even when I performed in the club circuit and the bar circuit and everything even when I did the festivals people would always ask me don't you get nervous don't you still get nervous that was it that was the question do you still get nervous and my question without hesitation every single time yes absolutely every time and it baffles people it confuses the heck out of people what you but it but but you're so good it's so natural you you know you're in unless I'm not this is not me bragging I'm not bragging on myself um I'm just a local guy you know I never really made it big I'll own that but I learned a lot of things and I'm not going to things along the way picked up a lot from places from research and talking to people and and that's what people saw in me is they saw that it came natural it looked natural it looked good I made it look easy and listen truthfully to someone out there you make it look easy too and that's that that's the great thing about it is when you can make what you do look easy like it just comes natural that's pretty great like that's that's pretty great to hear and it is just it just it baffles people every time and if you're baffled right now I'm I'm I'm sorry uh even before I press record on the podcast I get nervous you know because this is now this is now a new a new way that I perform in a way because you know I'm I speak to you so I'm a speaker I'm training I'm presenting so you know I still get nervous every single time I step on stage and when I tell people this they they like they absolutely lose their minds and I have to tell them like listen being nervous is not a sign of weakness it's a sign of weakness it's a sign of weakness it's a sign of weakness being nervous is not a sign that you don't think you can do it or that you're devaluing yourself being nervous does not mean that there's an issue with what you're about to perform or that you act or being nervous doesn't even mean that you lack confidence being nervous simply means that you have a deep connection to what you're putting out there to what you're about to share and if you don't have that deep connection and you don't feel those nerves then you need to get back in touch with the performer and you need to get back in touch with the performer and you need to get back in touch with the performer that you're supposed to be I got to bring it down a little bit man my heart's getting elevated and all that stuff you know I get sometimes listen I get crazy about you know coaching performers and performing on stage and and getting this message out to you guys like it it really it gets me going and I want that for you you know I want you to have that get you going type of feeling too so listen I'm gonna wrap this bad boy up but I'm gonna wrap this bad here's your recap being nervous means that you care you should absolutely 100 always be nervous focus on the first 30 seconds and crush the hell out of that performance and if you need a little help along the way you're stuck you need a little little you know push a little motivation a little confidence boosting uh hit me up jump on my calendar I just reopened it go to beingonstage.com slash calendar you can hop on the phone with me actually I'll call you uh so all you got to do is put in your name and email and pick a date and time and your phone number of course and I'll give you a call and we will we'll work something out for you and get you going crushing your dreams and it's gonna be it's gonna be a great 30 minutes ish 30 minutes of just absolute motivation confidence boosting giving you those tips and those little just helping you see things from a different picture and helping you get that picture they're actually helping you get that vision out of your head and into your life that's what that 30 minutes is gonna be so hit me up looking forward to it thanks again for tuning in and as always keep on shining