Navigating divorce, AI & What No One Tells You About Age Gap Marriages w/ Dean & Lisa Graziosi

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the Name Your Price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it at Progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states. Sometimes we'll be out and we'll see a couple where there's an older guy and my wife will go, look at the age difference. I'm like, hey, there's the same difference as us. I felt like when I was going through divorce, I was in the middle of a storm. Every time you get to a certain point, you turn around. With anybody who's going through anything, the best way is to just look the storm in and ride it through. What's a way that you as a mom are using AI right now? It helped me a lot to know that I was doing the right thing with the homeschool. Matched our family, matched our kids, aligned perfectly. What's up, dudes? And welcome back to the Unplanned Podcast. Today, we are joined by two very special guests, Dean Graziosi and Lisa. Lisa Graziosi, thank you so much for being here. It's good to be here. Thank you. You're a money guy. You're a serial entrepreneur. You've started so many businesses. And Lisa, you've been voted Arizona's top hairstylist. Thank you. Thank you. Yes. There's a lot of stay-at-home moms, work-from-home moms, and just women in their 20s that listen to this show every week. And so I wanted to maybe just start off. I'm putting you on the spot. But the women listening to this podcast right now, why should they tune in for this conversation we're about to have? I know the juggle this woman has is having this fire to serve. When I met her, she had the most successful hair business probably in Arizona. And then we get married, and my life is big. And then we have kids. And my wife had to take her desires, her passions, the things that lit up her soul in the past, and then convert that to being the mother of our children. Our children have lots of allergies, so she's an allergy mom and cooks all their food every day. And I get to watch the balance of an amazing woman who loves being a mom, hopefully loves being my wife as much as I think she does. She does. Takes care of me so incredibly well, but also has that burning desire inside to do something that makes her feel significant. And that's a balance I think a lot of people deal with. Are you full-time stay-at-home with the kids now? I am. So I dabble. I try to get my hands in whatever I can in Dean's business, in the salon business, in philanthropy things with our family office, all the things. We homeschool as well because our kids homeschool. Each of them have, not to go down that road, but they have 12 anaphylactic allergies each, so they can't eat eggs. They can't eat dairy, bread. Oh, wow. My daughter can't eat beef. Please, lentil. Yeah, there's so many things. So school's hard because if I cheese it or cracker, they go into anaphylactic shock. So the homeschool, the cook. And please know, there's people who have way worse burdens than us, so we don't look at it as, like poor us, our kids. We actually look at it through the lens of faith and saying, God knew we could handle these kids, and that's why we got them, and aren't we lucky, right? And it's not life-threatening, but it's still, it's still scary because the thing that we do the most, the thing that provides us nourishment is the thing that could actually kill our kids because it's not a slight allergy. Like, they're off the charts on all of those. That's terrifying. Just saying the words kill our kids, I'm like, oh, my gosh. Yeah, because if you think about it, go into a birthday party. If you don't have kids with allergies, you'd never think that the pizza, the ice cream, all those things. We'd end up in a hospital with two EpiPens hoping that everything's okay, right? Yeah. So you have those extra things of fight or flight. Like, I watch my wife take them to a birthday party, and, you know, you're making, sure not one thing drops, and she'll find out in advance. So I'll give you a little plug to this amazing woman. She'll find out what color the cake is, and she'll bake a cake or muffins the same color with the same color icing. If it's a pizza party, she'll make gluten-free, dairy-free pizza, put it in a pizza box, and bring it so they can sit at the table. So they can feel like, you know, like everybody else. Every time. 100% of the time. Every time. They've never ate at a restaurant, so we cook breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, everything at home. I mean, obviously, with exceptions of pantry food and stuff, that is safe for them, but, I mean, our home is their only safe place, real true safe place if we make it that way in the world. What's your love story? How did you guys meet? Through a mutual friend. I love our love story. We ended up being at dinner together, sitting across from each other, and it's one of those things. I went through a divorce, and my parents were married nine times between them. My mom five times, my dad four. So I never knew an example of what love could really be. I didn't know that until I got married. My wife, I realized later on that I probably had a shell, probably had the belief of, come on, love doesn't really last, right? So I went through a divorce, and I thought I would never do that because I didn't want to do to my kids what I had experienced. I have two older kids. We have four, 19, 17, and we have five and three. Okay. So long story short, as I went through the divorce, and I said, I'm going to just be super dad and found a way to go through the anxiety of worrying about my kids to where I realized, hey, when I have them, I'm going to replace it with death. Rather than with, and when I'm with them, I'm going to be super dad. And when they're not with me, I'm going to go deep on my company stronger than ever. And I found this path that I finally felt good with. And I was like, no relationships for a while, just super dad and super at business. And then I go to dinner, and this woman's sitting across from me. But you're at the same place at the same time. And I had written, this is crazy, but Tony Robbins is my partner and my dearest friend. And I was with him about two weeks prior. And he said, I know you're not thinking about a relationship, but if you are, you should write down on a piece of paper on the left-hand side, draw a line down the middle, what is absolutely a must in the next relationship. And on the right side, what is absolutely unacceptable. And something hit me that had never hit me before, because I probably had done it in business, but not relationship. And I thought, wow, look at what I want in a relationship. Am I the man that actually deserves that? I thought to myself, what kind of man do I have to become to attract a woman that's going to bring all this in my life and not bring that? And it shifted, because I think, our brains look at, if I could find that perfect person, we'd align and we'd be soulmates. Rather than if I become the person that I want to mirror, that I want this reflection of me in someone else. Then I realized the reason my parents were divorced so much is because they brought the same version of themselves into the next relationship. My dad, who I love dearly, thought up until the last five years of his life, that every one of his marriage, it was their fault. And five years ago, he had the epiphany and goes, I guess I was the common denominator. So long story short. I did that with Tony. I realized the man I got to become. I have this list and like, I don't know if it's a week or five weeks later, I'm at dinner sitting across from her and I'm like, this is crazy. But everything that I was thinking, even physically, the way she looks, the things she was saying, the first book she ever read was Tony Robbins book. She read my book, like we're doing like all these things. And I'm like, maybe there's a different plan for me. And we literally walked outside the restaurant and sat on the curb for two hours and talked and started texting and we had, we haven't been apart since. What was that experience like for you meeting Dean? It was amazing. I actually, correction. I read the book after. So I remember I had that, that, that, and that first initial. So I thought he was incredible. We were just talking about life and family and businesses and relationships and all this, and we ended up closing the restaurant down. We sat outside of the restaurant on the curb. Just talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. We couldn't stop the conversation. I mean, it was going, going, going, going, going, going. And it felt good to be able to, you know, talk to him. And I was like, oh my God, I can't believe it. I can't believe it. And I was like, I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. And it felt good to have similar backgrounds as in like, we both love personal growth. We both, you know, and it's, and at my age, especially back then, it's very hard to find. Now it's more trendy and cool, but the younger generation into personal growth, I feel like people be like personal growth, who wait, what Tony Robbins, you know, but at, but at my age, it was like, oh, I'm going to be a celebrity. I'm going to be a celebrity. she likes to say 20 i'm like why do you say no to be accurate it's 18 it's 17 and a half she jokes all the time i think she tries to make me feel good by saying it's like i like it i'm glad that it's 20 i'm like but it's not 20 that made you feel better um but you know it's easy for the older person to say i don't feel the difference yeah right but the harmony of her in my opinion her intellectual curiosity her emotional intelligence was far beyond anything i had ever experienced like it matched aligned with my soul and i remember thinking even when that text are we going to be friends i'm like is she thinking of me as like a mentor or as a friend and and i asked her on our first date i'm like just be honest is it is it buggy at all she's like i literally can't see it because i never felt that way for a bit i can't see the difference i don't feel the difference and i said me neither and and it just grew into such a like such a connection and friend we built a friendship first um so it's never bugged me and then long story short she's like the only thing it might be a deal breaker i've never had kids she was never married before i never had kids because i want kids no way you know and i'm like so i had two more babies in my 50s that's why he would want more right this second are you done are you are you the one saying no and he wants more i feel like i'll never say out loud no because as a woman with our kids with allergies that's the only reason or else we'd probably have totally totally so you think you guys think you're done you think you think it's i feel like i think it's it's a great dynamic now do we want we talk about it almost daily like oh another one and oh how great would it be to have even two more but but the reality is allergies is an invisible disability really truly i mean everything revolves around breaking bread so to think of another child with food allergies and the stress it brings a parent yeah wrong fight or flight we are now we're in a good place we're in a good place you know i don't know we'll see and just the the reality of you guys juggling entrepreneurship like massive massive business i don't think like people can't even i can't even wrap my mind around the numbers that you you've done it's it's incredible it's amazing it's very inspirational and at the same time you're you're a husband you're you're a father you've got four kids you're you know you're a family man how do you how do you manage that how do you have work-life balance as a serial entrepreneur and a very successful business owner we're all busy at every level it doesn't matter how many zeros are at the end we're all busy we're all juggling we're all trying to do the best we can we're all trying to do a little better than we did before we're trying to be better parents better friends better spouses better at business all the juggle and what i realized is you don't save time in big chunks as an adult there's no big chunks left you have to get insanely strict on your nose if you truly understand what you know success means to you i can tell the way you your wife means the world to you your children need a world to you the impact you make in this podcast means the world to you you have your family in the house i can tell you you're a family man right mother-in-law sister-in-law here everybody here right when i know what's important to me my wife my children the impact i get to make my partner tony robbins there's there's things that are really important to me you have to say no to mostly everything else that doesn't live in the area that brings you towards the couple the man or the business you want i say no to everything like i get invited to everything i say no to absolutely everything because what's important to me i don't want to be 90 years old and look back and say i i got wealthy but i ignored my ignored my kids i can't let that happen i don't want my wife to think wow business is first but i love being in business i was i was a broke kid i lived in a trailer park as a kid i lived in a bathroom with my dad when i was a kid because we didn't have heat in our house we didn't have lunch money when i went to school tell my friends i wasn't hungry and to be able to go from that with no college degree and be blessed to impact the lives that we've done and build the businesses that we've done i love it i work like i'm broke i work like i'm broke and i owe somebody money so i put the time in but i have no gray areas i look at everything is does this serve the man i want to become and the mission i'm on or does it not one of the biggest secrets of my life is i say no to everything that doesn't serve me and i get to say yes to the things that do how do you cut out the gray area i feel like there's a lot of gray area in my life that i probably need to analyze let's talk about some of it um we've got two podcasts now we have our podcast we've got our podcast podcast we've got our podcast podcast podcast we have our main youtube channel our tick tock we're also launching a new business this year there's so much to do i don't even know where to put my focus i'd write down all the things that you're responsible for make a list of everything podcast tick tock all the things that you are responsible for yeah and then i would think which ones move the needle the most okay and which ones do i like the most because you might have something that makes the most impact or makes revenue but you hate it and every time you go to do you're like oh i gotta film that thing yeah that'll never last and you'll end up resenting it so you're gonna look for the ones that make the most impact serve the most people help your business grow and you like them and they're not all gonna feel that way here's the hard part can i delegate this can i automate this or should i just eliminate it yeah it's one of those say no the say no is huge right so it's like as you're going through it's like oh i could ask my sister-in-law she could actually do this on a regular basis check that's off my plate you know if i spend a couple of hours setting up my ai to know me my constraints my and we could talk about that later get it to you build a thought partner in ai most people are using ai like a fancy google write some emails do some research yeah with a couple of hours you can get it to be the smartest partner you've ever had in your entire life and i guarantee today you could buy five hours back a week every week right now with an hour's worth of work it comes in tiny chunks there's no more five hour blocks you're gonna find so i've my wife watches me do this obsessively i find time everywhere i find 10 minutes here i find seven minutes here and and people say to me how do you get so much done tony and i own five businesses together we're we launched an ai education company we have mastermind we have other businesses yeah i i don't miss many tennis i was at tennis practice with my son this morning that's amazing how do you do all those things is by automate delegate and eliminate and it when you get strong at the last one of eliminating i promise you this exercise for everybody you can find 10 hours between all of it next week the next thing is if you buy back the time then it's the discipline to use that time for the things that you really want in your life for you might be working out for you it might be eliminating tick to eliminating a couple things going deep on the new product that you're doing say hey if you're buying a product that means you have to put money in inventory it's an investment it's going to be scary there's shipping costs there's returns there's all those things that you're going to have to figure out you need that 10 hours so the discipline is you can find the time but you got to fill it with the things that actually move the needle the most in your life and when you combine all those life shifts well thank you well i guess yeah the question i had for you which hopefully mom's hearing me ask this question won't hate me for asking it because i know my wife does not like ai she she hates it if she hears me talking to chat bt um what's a way that you as a mom are using ai right now to move the needle in your life okay so one really quick example that just popped in my head was homeschool so we homeschool our kids and with a homeschool i kept searching for a curriculum i found instagram people that do courses on homeschool i bought them all yeah and i didn't do anything with it i was just yeah i couldn't wrap my head around how to get it started is there a homeschool curriculum that you recommend because i actually i'm just asking for a friend which is actually me i can share all that but anyway so with ai i i was also that mom that was scared and oh no i'm not gonna let ai and what does it know more than me i mean yes he does but i plugged in everything dean actually kind of coached me through it he's like plug everything in even how old you are how old your kids are what your day in the life looks like what you want the outcome to be i'm like yeah but why but now i see why because with all that information it knew who i was what i wanted the end goal to be what i wanted my kids to learn they're in sports this kid loves this this kid loves that in a second in one day i had a full curriculum i had also our family matched our kids aligned perfectly and i just want to share one thing as you're saying this is and this is important for everybody there's no way you'll survive if you don't use ai it's as simple as that you will not be here if you don't use ai fact bar none hard stop it's kind of spooky hard stop not even a question that's not up for debate that's coming think of ai as a human amplifier not a human placer okay i don't want ai to replace one of my employees i want my employees to be twice as productive and feel more proud of themselves to let their innovation come out let their creativity come out and stop doing the redundant work they don't need to because there's a machine that can do it think about this in the 1800s if you were going to plow and plant an acre of corn by hand it took you 45 hours oh gosh okay is that did you actually look that up of course so so did i help you find the answer of course think about it then the tractor came in i was like oh my god i'm gonna think about it then the tractor came out the latest technology the farmer could do the whole acre in 30 minutes that's right if you decided and said i don't like tractors they look weird they sound weird i'm not going to do it could you be in business competing against your neighbor with a tractor absolutely you would buy your property in six months and you're broke yeah we are in that phase except it's not a tractor back then it was expensive ai is almost free i've never thought of it that way it's almost free right it's faster it's quicker it's growing exponentially every day and it is the greatest time and leverage machine in the history of the world how do you deal with hallucinations from ai because sometimes it's giving me false information like one time we had a guest on our podcast that ai said they were oprah's like favorite artist or something i was like you guys are oprah's favorite artist and they're like we are actually not oprah's favorite Because the AI lied to me and I just I got the information right. How do you how do you find that? I I know it happens. It's very rare. Especially if you give it more context. Okay, right the deeper you share I mean think if you hired an employee Yeah, and they were here one day and you're they're the best employee. You couldn't wait to hire them and you're like, hey Do me a favor. Um finish up the podcast and then do that youtube video And then you went back to business. They'd be like, okay, i'll do my best But then if you sat down and say let me just tell you how I do youtube videos This is why our videos do good. This is why my wife and I have such a connection It's how we look at the camera so that people know we care. This is how we start with what we start with today What's up, dudes? What's up, dudes? Why do we do that? Might sound silly But we started that way and people know that if you gave it all that context and you said now i'd love for you to go Edit that video. Remember we care about people first. We're money second. We're this we're that we're this is what makes our video good Here's five videos that went viral on youtube. Here's five podcasts that went Viral now, could you go help make that? What would that employee be like? I get it. I got the blueprint So what? People do is they say hey, we do lots of videos. I'd like uh, give me a headline for what a good youtube video would be Yeah compared to if you spent a half hour with context it would give it to you just like that back to mom's leveraging ai What were the inputs you gave it to help you come up with your curriculum for homeschooling your kids? Well, just that what exactly what do you insane? I gave it context of everything. My kids are my son's five and a half years old He has a big heart. He's super smart with numbers. He's loves tennis. He has a good sense of humor He's got a good sense of humor. He's got a good sense of humor. He's got a good sense of humor All the little things like that you would think that doesn't that shouldn't make a difference in your results But it really does because it's tailored exactly to my kids even to like, okay this Many minutes learning break this that so that way you're just not like am I doing the right thing? You know and a lot of us have to with homeschooling We have to kind of unwire our brains because we were so we were taught to do traditional school and traditional hours So sometimes you feel like wait, I'm not doing enough or You know, so it helped me a lot to know and to give me certainty that I was doing the right thing with the Homeschool and one one thing to remember that really can help people with AI because the fear comes in it just does is AIs really not thinking. I mean, I know you know this but all it is is a pattern recognition machine. Yeah, if I said For example, I said Mary what would be the next word you think of Joseph, right? If I said Mary had a little lamb, okay That's that's AI AI just has pattern recognition of of so many things when you give it context. It's fine. It's read everything It's read every book everything online and it can put them together in a pattern and recognize that all these different Inputs about my child about our family what our beliefs are that we're Christian and all that we have a truly amazing relationship We want it at home We want to know my son's great at math a little behind in reading all those things allow the pattern recognition machine to piece all of it together and it ends up looking Like the smartest thing in the world, which it really is only because it's taken what other smart people have done through experience Recognize the pattern that you need and deliver it to you. Do you implement anything in your personal life to? not be Talking to robots too much. Like do you ever put your phone away or like no are there any rules? You know, are there any are there any times where you try to be intentional with like the human connection side of it? Right the like I mean, I just think it's so cool that you know All of us are in this room together right now talking having this conversation and one day I'm sure there will be an AI that can have a quote-unquote better conversation than we're having now, but like Just the joy and the beauty of this connection is so special. So I think yeah, that's great cuz you don't want to blend the two Yeah, I use AI to go faster so I can have more human contact. Ah So when we go home at dinner, there's no phones around. There's no AI at our dinners no AI when I tuck my kids in at night when I play basketball I'll play football or go outside none and do gymnastics with my daughter I use AI when I work so I can get more done in a short period of time so I can go be More human. Yeah, think of it as augmentation Amplification some automation to get rid of the mundane work so you can live into who you're supposed to be even more Yeah, if people actually audit their weeks moms audit their weeks There's so many things they're doing that just monotonous and they do it over and over and if AI could take that off Then you just get to be more human. So you should just fight to be more human. Yes robots To be more human and if you look at it just gives a different frame But I got something to challenge everybody that'll blow you. Yeah, go for it. Get a free chat GPT account Don't have to cost anything. Yeah, go to your refrigerator today Take a picture refrigerator and say give me two meals in one second It'll give you two perfect meals from the picture of your refrigerator. Do it tonight. Don't freak you out You know from all the ingredients you have in your fridge. Yeah, just take a picture. I'll take a picture your pantry way That's crazy. I we have a friend who I'm a fan of like Dave Ramsey's money advice And she like teaches his course and they ran out of like money's been tight for them recently And so she did a series on social media about using whatever was left in their house to like stay on budget and just to make Their food and so that's kind of crazy that you're like, oh, there's nothing to eat at home Take a picture of your refrigerator and AI will show you what you can make with it in three seconds It'll say I just did it in front of her like no way and was both creative recipes. It's so good I was like five ingredients, too So it wasn't like we're like, okay Let's just let's just challenge it because we like to challenge it and you know because we want to Find some loopholes where AI is wrong, but we're always impressed with what the results are I want to circle back a little bit I'm glad we talked about AI because I personally am very interested in it I use it every day as well on the more personal side I appreciate you opening up about the age difference you guys have as well as the divorce that you went through because that's real That's honest. That's your story going through a divorce Then you're able to come out on the other side and create a better version of yourself And so I guess my question for you is how did that? Divorce make you better like what's something different about yourself now where you just you just know I'm a better man because of it No one expects to go through a divorce. Obviously it happens to more than half of the people in the world. Yeah Here's what I got out of it. My prior wife and I we knew that our relationship was over for a long time Yeah, but both of us didn't want to do that to the kids. Mm-hmm, right? So I don't know if anybody's experienced this but I woke up every day and I think she did too for probably five years Thinking about how to end this elegantly and it occupies your mind and I don't know If that was the right thing, I'm just I'm just being transparent. Yeah, and then when I went through it Then we started going through the divorce the the best the biggest byproduct for me is That for the first time in life, I had panic attacks. I had anxiety. I didn't want to get in a plane I didn't want to get in an elevator. There was weird things happening to me Yeah, and it was I was so worried that I was gonna replicate with my kids What I felt as a kid going through many divorces Wow, and so I don't know if this this this is too long of an answer, but the the fact of the matter is it was debilitating and I've run multiple companies. My companies have done close to two billion dollars in a revenue starting with nothing I've had hard times in business. I went broke in business I made bad decisions in business and I can rebound I don't find stress. I find patterns I try to make obstacles into opportunities and all this stuff that you could say and now going through a divorce is crippling me I mean I was I was in my mid-40s thinking oh my god I'm never gonna be okay, like you feel this heaviness this weight that I and What I did is I I went back and realized that I Hid so many of the things that I felt when I was a kid as a divorce That I just kept him in like I felt like I locked him in a box all the things, you know My parents divorced and they hated each other when we got married I had to put my parents in two different hotels and they've been divorced for 50 years. They still won't talk to each other Right. So all these things I realized that my divorce opened them up and I Had two choices I could deal with them or not and it made me deal with them It made me look at how to approach life differently It made me realize that Tony says this life happens for you not to you and I realized I can repeat patterns I can let this bug me or I could heal in such a big way. I Felt like this has been a long time since I talked about it and I probably talked about it more elegantly in the past But I felt like when I was going through divorce that I was in the middle of a storm and this is the end The analogy I had and the storm was so bad this year in the storm Your ship is going up and down you think it's gonna sink and every time you get to a certain point It was so bad in the storm That you turn around and then you got to experience the pain all over again And then you go back and then you got to experience the pain all over again. And I remember just thinking one day The only way through it is through it like I have to face this and I just want to share with anybody who's going through anything that sometimes the best way is to just look the storm in and ride it through and I just remember the moment I came out on the other side like there was a day that the anxiety went away there was the Day that I felt like the man I was supposed to be and I just knew everything was gonna be great in your book You talk a lot about Crafting vision for the future, especially when it comes to your business But I'm sure in this case you were crafting a vision for co-parenting and so that was a really good point Yeah, let me just tell you something what I did wrong in my business. I always have a vision where it's gonna go I have a vision for this event. We're doing there's gonna be 600,000 people I can visualize I feel it in my personal life, and I think this is a really great analogy for everybody It was so upsetting that the only vision I had was my kids are gonna fall out of love with me I won't have Sunday dinners with them every single Sunday. We had a meeting every Tuesday I only met be able to meet with them every Tuesday My brain was only picking up on all the things that could go wrong and it was triggering me into anxiety That's good. Like in business if you if you're anxious. Yeah in the moment you're in think of it like There's a roof over your head and there's a Sunroof yeah when you're anxious if you pop your head out of the sunroof and you look into the future in the future future looks bright you say i can get through today because tomorrow's better yeah i'm gonna be okay it's exciting it's exciting to look to the good stuff but when you're stressed and you have anxiety that you can't control somebody closes the sunroof and you can't see it all you see is the negativity and you don't pop up to see where you can go and you're only seeing what can go wrong and your brain freaks you out that inner voice is telling you we're not going to be okay we're not going to make it so remember if you're feeling that way one of the greatest things to do is break the sunroof open and look to the man or the woman you could be and and plant that vision then go back down and get to work how did you crack that sunroof open when you were so stressed and anxious and having the panic attacks after the divorce i came up with a couple of things one i stopped letting that voice inside my head tell me all the things that could go wrong and slowly started to think all the things that could go right i'm going to be super dad i said earlier i'm going to spend more time with them i'm going to go deeper they're going to realize that their their mom and me can still be friends and we'll parent the same way and i just had to keep repeating myself and then one thing that really helped me was the saying i'm going to replace all emotions with compassion i'm going to be friends with my ex no matter what my kids are going to see a peaceful transition and i just found three or four things that felt felt beautiful and i just kept staring at them over and over again until i finally believed it my soul believed it and then all of a sudden that the storm stopped like literally overnight it stopped and from what i've learned from talking to people that have been through divorce you can't say anything in front of them the kids negative about your spouse i mean you shouldn't do that in my rules you shouldn't do that in marriage anyway like first of all but especially in a divorce because then because then your your kid is looking at their their mom or their dad the fact of it yeah yeah so one of the things that i i did all kinds of research on it was helping me fuel it they call it kids get fragmented so this therapist said or fractured and he said that my job is i'm putting kids back together in their 40s because parent kids of divorce have to be somebody for their dad and for their mom goodness and they become two different people goodness and she said my job is putting these 40 year old divorce kids back together when they're older and all i could think about is no no no we're going to have alignment we're going to have i want the same colored toothbrushes i want the same parenting style and to this day you've never heard me say a bad word about my ex no matter what believes that no one will ever hear that no matter what because my kids deserve that and and those little those little sacrifices change everything yeah that's good that's good what what are your thoughts on on all that i i love it i think that that is what is also so attractive about him when i first met him because we talked about this i mean we met we instantly knew that we were going to be together for the rest of our lives but he said i have a promise to my babies to my kids i i can't bring you around for another for a year for one year okay we knew we wanted to be married six months in and she's like you know her thing she told me for even less six months hurry hurry that's it for six months we get done with the date and on the way home she's like hurry she meant like let's get this going like as a joke like a little inside joke was like hurry and um it's it's so cute because of course i was so nervous i don't have kids i've never been married my parents are still together so i'm i have not been in a blended family yeah and so of course i was nervous to meet them and finally when he brought me around and said you know i'm dating all this yeah they were so excited and of course i think i have intrusive thoughts all the time anyway so i always think like the worst of the worst and um and it made me feel good because they're like dad why didn't you bring her around sooner like they were kind of like upset at him like what the heck why didn't you bring so i don't know i think i take these as like little winks from god like okay this is gonna work out because it's also scary as hard as it was hard as it was for half to wait a year i think simultaneously she respected me because i said i gave my word and introduced my kids to somebody unless it was a year and i waited a year to the day oh my goodness to the day to the day for for marriage or what to introduce her to my kids introduce so your kids had literally no idea i gave her for one solid year without her meeting they had no idea no idea how did you keep that a secret because what i would the weeks i'd week on week off with my kids well he didn't he was like he the kids knew that dad was dating or going on dates but they didn't like they didn't have a person or a picture only because i made this promise so so the the weeks i had them yeah we didn't see each other much because i was with them the weeks that it was off we were at dinner every night together yes and that's just how we did it for a year and i know it seemed odd but i think she respected it and at the end of every date she's like hurry up come on hurry up okay yes and and how long from from the divorce to then getting married how long what was the timeline there a couple of years a couple of years yeah a couple of years was the maybe three and how do you how do you talk to your kids gosh we're getting deep now i hope this is okay i'm asking some very deep questions but how do you talk to your kids about that because then they that's really cool that you did it like you waited a year to introduce lisa to your to your kids from the first marriage but how do you talk to your kids about that then when it comes time to introduce them and can i tell you for for me it was easy because i did wait a year so they said why'd you wait she's so great right and i said because i wanted to make sure she was great i said was i would never be with anybody unless they had the opportunity to love my kids the way they would love their own yeah and i said i feel this in her and i and i i know she wants to be your friends she doesn't want to parent you she doesn't want to be the evil stepmom she just wants to get to know you and and i said i i took a whole year to see and i was like you know and i told them i said me and your mom probably just never had it figured out we we both should have matured earlier we both should have figured out relationships earlier but we didn't your mom's super happy i said i'm so happy and i think i said this is going to be an example of the kind of love that i want you guys to have someday and i was just lucky that they respected me enough and i think even though they were like you should have heard they also respected yes but i waited a whole year and i got to know her i wasn't bringing a stranger into the house and was that was that stressful was that harder than you thought it would be easier than you thought it was the hardest it was the hardest time of my life okay thank god i can say that you know because there's so many worse things in the world but for our relationship it was hard and a lot of people never see the side of like the new wife or the stepmom or whatever right it's always looked at in such a negative connotation but also we have feelings and i'm human and i've never been married and this is my love of my life but yet i have to wait to meet his kids which i'm so excited to me and i'm so excited to get this going and have our family and i have all these ideas of spending time with them and so it was hard it was hard kind of especially when i just you know kind of took the back burner a lot of the times but for a good reason right but yeah it is it wasn't easy when you were introduced to the kids were they around like 10 11 like how many in that like preteens or like nine or eleven when was it okay and it's and it's two two boys uh one of each one of each one boy one girl yeah was that like then then meeting the kids forming that relationship like for me becoming a dad and and literally just like keeping a newborn alive that you know is all they do is cry and poop for the first couple months like that relationship just formed naturally over time but i feel like just to be when you're kind of just grouped together all at once was it kind of like oh i need to i need to go on an adventure with these kids i need to form a bond like how do you approach bonding with your your stepchildren when when that stage of life comes into play for you it's so hard obviously i would love to just so i'm mexican catholic big family we're huggers we touch we i see my dad i hug him i'm all over him my siblings right to this day so for and you know different families have different dynamics i just wanted to hug them and have them on my lap and this and that but obviously they're pre-teens so of course they're like you know but they're just kids and so it's hard also knowing your boundaries and i always talk about boundaries and how i love boundaries i think boundaries are so important in everyone's life and even though i wanted it so badly feminists give me a hug because i have to know my place like my side of the street i am just new in their life i'm coming in they love their mom they love their dad it's new for them and i i do this with everything in my life i put myself in people's shoes i feel like that's just the common the normal thing to have emotional intelligence is putting yourself in someone's shoes and it determines how i want to treat that person because of the way i want to be treated so 100 same thing like i love my mom and dad so much and you know they can have their differences but like i'm so protective of my mom and my dad like if i had a new stepmom in the picture i would you know i would be this way or that way i don't know i mean i'm an i'm a good nice person truly am but i'm also as a kid i would have been immature or or protective of my daddy or my mommy you know and so i think okay you know what it's not because they don't love me if they're not giving me a hug it's just because it's new and yeah i just i can imagine it'd be hard to like almost overanalyze things too yes when you want to do that when you want to just like be the best step parent or whatever i mean even in my own life i overanalyze things that i care about so i could totally see where that would come into play yes yes exactly and especially because i'm at this point in my life where i have such deep love for them not just in the beginning like oh i love them like we're a family but like i care so much about them and of their futures sometimes i want to step in and kind of give my own two cents but then i'm like okay well let me just share from the outside she she handled it elegantly she found a way to build trust first friendship second and then slowly not parent but give them advice as a trusted advisor like she I use those words and she never said stepmom she said just call me your bonus mom or call me Lisa whatever you want like exactly you know you don't you can call me whatever you want but she did an incredible job if I look back in hindsight of easing her way into their life without being intrusive and without coming to me like why didn't they come in and hug me it was never that it was like I see them I see them I feel it she did an incredible job and now now we all get along and then we were together a couple of years we didn't you know we didn't live together we got married we moved in together and then we were together I don't know a year or two and COVID happened and we were all stuck inside a house oh my goodness so we got a gift of COVID right and we really got sushi at night we we played nerf wars all together like it was this bonding sequence for you know six months or a year who knows how long COVID lasts it's hard to imagine nowadays but I love that you yeah wait walk me through your family rituals the the weekly things that you do as a family to keep that bond going well I'll tell you what it was amplified during COVID at least once a week we played nerf war in the entire house oh we'd run around we'd have nerf nerf bullets stashed in our you know we would laugh so hard like belly laugh like we all got into it like it was a thing you know we would film fake tiktok dance videos but not actually post them we uh we made sushi once a week we'd go get the raw fish and cook the rice and we'd mess it up and be sticky all over your fingers and our sushi would be crooked and sideways and look horrible but we did it as a family and and those little things that you don't realize is what bonded us the most it wasn't it's not the money it's the experience it's the laughs and um yeah do you think it's possible to simultaneously be the best business owner you can be while also being the best parent you can be one thousand percent they go actually they go along with each other really okay wait I love it why don't we go along with each other why do I why do I disagree why do I like I tell me why do you think there's a life work balance there's no such thing no it's like I think you're gonna swing to both sides it's the biggest fabrication in the world are you supposed to have a busy day like most people work outside the house you have an amusing beautiful podcast studio in your home but do you think you work all day and then you get to the front door and go shake it off all right just be super dad no they are super mom right it it's not about work-life balance it's more of work-life integration it's not about work-life integration think about if if you have let me just ask you if you have a really great day I don't know what would be a great day a video goes viral someone reaches out they want to somebody I know we had lollipops I'd like to drink one right now that'd be cool like if you're wait yeah can we have lollipops yes exactly thank you to lollipop for sponsoring our podcast yeah exactly so so you have a good day somebody reaches out from lollipop and says we want to sponsor your podcast or something goes good when you go home are you in a better mood with your kids oh yeah okay day something goes wrong the video you thought was going to be good went sideways somebody let you down the contract fell through I gotta tell you if you have you tried the shirley temple I haven't no but I just saw that for the first time this is by far the best I'm gonna give it to you because it's my favorite flavor okay they sent us like 20 cans of it and then I drank all of them within like a couple days because it's so good it is so you got to try it it's so good yeah we got it they didn't even sponsor this segment but we got to drink it do you do you guys want this one too or we'll share so so work work life balance if work in business is going well then you're gonna be yours you're basically saying you're gonna be a more joyful and positive version of yourself okay let me let me ask so really think about this okay and this one I think is this is really worth talking about if you hate what you do if you're not living into your full potential if you know that you know the big Dale Carnegie said the biggest plight of the human race is knowing you have more potential and not utilizing it bothers me that's like that keeps me up at night okay so if you're not utilizing your potential you're either feel restricted by the career you're in the boss you have or just you found a pattern that's just not working do you really think you come home and you become the full potential of the father you could be like dissatisfied at work and then you come home and all of a sudden you're fulfilled I know me personally and I've watched so many when you're even trying it has nothing to do with you might say oh Dean that's great for you because you're when you're trying when you're pushing when you're not settling when you're saying no I'm meant for more and I'm living I am enough I know enough this is just a temporary thing it might not be the thing I love but I'm gonna do it amazing anyway because I know it's just a stepping stone when you go home and you're that version of you your kids your wife your significant other gets that version of you compared to where you feel like you're playing small you're someplace you shouldn't be you're not the man that can or the woman that your your kids look up to in a way like that so I think work-life balance isn't true it's the integration and the more successful you come as long as your children and your wife are a priority while simultaneously growing there's no way they don't get a better version of you then why did Steve Jobs on his deathbed say he wished he watched his kids because he didn't balance it it wasn't a priority anything that gets a priority my wife and children are priority do I honestly truly do I sacrifice anything at all no he he is so present with the kids and with me what Steve Jobs realized not to interrupt I'm sorry what Steve Jobs realized at the end is he didn't put his family as a priority it was all about business ah right I know I could be more successful than I am but I feel fulfilled that I'm stretching every day but I'm fulfilled also by being the man that she knows is always there for that I'm a good dad so they're a priority to me I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt you no it's okay and also just to add to that you're really good at at your time management so that's the thing so for instance I think us girls are a little bit more like in the fluff for instance what I admire so much about Dean is if he says we have a meeting at this time let's say one and then he says okay by by 2 30 we'll be playing with the kids this time in the park I'm like babe there's no way like we're gonna sit and talk we're gonna and nope at two he's done like he's so quick for me I go for a meeting then you sit and ask about their life you go have a coffee then you know so he because I also he's really good at saying no and saying you know and so he has great time management and I think that's got even better as he has such limited time amount of time for all the things he wants to do he has to be that way that's really good does that does that keep you up at night Dean that like well I feel like I know what the answer is but you probably if if you just ignored your wife and kids you could be you know three times four times more successful but is it I'm guessing it's probably worth it to you to know that you can like you're clearly successful but then you also prioritize your your wife and your kids okay so then on the other side as you say that the fuel my wife gives me the way she looks at me when I come home the way this woman loves me the way my kids love me all four of me even I got a 19 and a 17 we have a really tight family because of the work I've done it empowers me to be stronger and harder at work I don't like I know what you're saying like I never would look at I said that I'm probably not right by saying I could probably be more successful if I focused I wouldn't because part of my heart would be missing wow for me especially so I can go harder and faster knowing that I'm aligned with all my kids I mean if you saw the juggle like this morning at 9 to 9 20 I watched my five-year-old play tonight I'm watching my oldest son play tennis like I fit them all in yeah and then I still fit in a date night and time with her and then it allows me to be so strong at work and then I get to bring the things I do at work and then I get to go out and be an example to my kids of what's possible because here's the thing I I love putting family first I love putting your wife first but the greatest example besides loving your wife the greatest example you could be for your kids is to live into who you're meant to be that is the greatest thing your kids could see that's good you want to be a you want your son one of your three you know four or five sons that you end up having right or maybe just two yeah I'd be crazy five sons yeah but but can you imagine wouldn't you want one of them just think about this wouldn't you want one of them if they were reading your eulogy to be like my dad was always there for us he was great to my mom but even more that I know my dad pushed the limits he lived into who he was meant to be he took risks he pushed hard he did things other people didn't do and man I want to be a better version of me because of what my dad did yeah compared to saying hey my dad was a great you know I feel like my dad you know he took he settled in that job just so he could be there for baseball for us you know I wish I know my dad had this potential I wish you would have went for it like think about that at the end of your life your your kids want to see you thrive they want to see you live and listen I have my 17 year old I've never told them to work out a day in his life but I work out every morning at 5 30 right just every day of my life it's just what I do wow every single day at 5 30 there's not a day what time do you go to bed 9 10 I wake up at 4 every day goodness yeah how do you are you not tired never I love life too much six hours of sleep and you're not tired six is good I need six I could go two days on six I need at least seven if I get everybody's different if I get less than seven I'm everybody's different same but my whole point is this is a great example I work out every day right I never told my kids to work out but that's what they see dad doing a year and a half ago my son walked in the gym when I was working out he said can I work out with you dad he's five foot one 90 pounds a year and a half my son is five foot ten he's shredded he's bigger than I am outlifts me right now I never said a word to him he just saw me being that version of myself if and that's the same I feel with work both my older kids right now are like I want to do something big dad I see what you do like what what can i do my daughter wants to is working with me she's working two jobs she's working with me like i just think the best version of you is the best thing you can do for your family as long as you prioritize them over top of it don't choose them over it but there are days and i'm going to shut up after this there are days where i have to say to my wife i thought i was going to make vita's dance recital i can't because it's a big project and she'll say yeah we couldn't have this life without you go get it i'll cover you right but that's rare because it's a priority to me so that that's that's my belief and and and i i don't believe the the whole you could be in shape or you could have a great relationship or you could make money but you're never going to get all three i think that's a really horrible story we can tell ourselves i really want my kids to feel like i made the world a better place that that but i also i don't want that to come at the sacrifice of a relationship with them like i don't want to feel like i made the world a better place i don't want that to come at the sacrifice of a to be like wow that's cool that dad like built orphanages in you know a country and an under underdeveloped country but yeah he didn't hang out with me he didn't he didn't surf with me he didn't skate with me i know we're going on this and and if this makes the podcast great if not just one father to another i find rituals that are unbreakable and my wife knows them i cook my kids breakfast every day of their life especially my older ones because when things get busy and they become teenagers in the morning it's 40 minutes of me making them breakfast sitting at the table i bring it over to them there was like can i i'm like i got it i i make them their lunches we talk before they had driver's license i'm the one that drove in the school every day because then you got 20 minutes in the car with no phone just conversation so you find these times that are really important and don't let anybody mess with them is there a ritual like that well i guess i guess for you you're with them a lot more because you're you're full-time at home but what i will say is just to like make it clear so it's not like sometimes you just leave work or get home and you're like oh my god i'm so tired i'm so tired from work and then all of a sudden you're like okay once i walk in the door it's no phone or whatever things happen dean works all around the clock but if he's like i'm gonna go outside and play with luca football i have 30 minutes before my next call he's there for 30 minutes and his phone might be near but he doesn't make luca aware of that right he's very present and so or it can be like okay i have an hour i'm gonna go take our daughter vida on a on a date and it's just an hour and it comes back and it gets back back to work so it's not like you know some people overthink it like oh i have to make uh clear up this whole afternoon for my kids you know kids have attention span of 15 minutes when they're when they're to focus on something when they're this young two and three i mean it could just be 15 minutes and that's all they remember you know what i mean so it's a lot of people overthink it like oh how can i fit in a whole deal with my kid you know because everybody has lives your kids have a routine and you have a routine and so but dean's good good at balancing that let's go ahead and end on some fun questions i i went ahead and had our producer pull the internet's most searched questions about you guys if that's okay yeah wait a minute i want to say something yes with the age i was just quickly doing the math and i always forget how old my husband is i think he's 30 every day okay um sometimes i feel like i need to catch up to him because i feel like you know so tired or i need more sleep than him we're like he works out way more than me and he's you know so i definitely sometimes feel like i'm the but he just said he's 57 he just turned 56 what the heck are you talking about wait wait you're 57 or 56 wait 57 you just turned 56 you're turning 57 this year i'm turning 58 baby you're turning 58 see i don't even know i don't even know that so i mean the older you get you forget ages like sometimes i'm like wow believe me you don't want after 50 you don't remember any of them i'm 27 and sometimes like how how old am i again i forget like it i don't know yeah that's that's awesome but is there anything funny i i was i was talking to my wife about you guys earlier today and she's like you should ask him if there's like ever anything funny that happens with with uh the age difference and so like i'm curious if there's something like there's like a tv show you're like babe this tv show oh my gosh and then she's like what are you even talking about or is there anything funny like that it's funny i'll tell you a funny one is sometimes we'll be out okay this is a good one and we'll see a couple where there's an older guy okay and a younger girl and my wife will go look at them look at the age difference i'm like babe they're the same difference as us no no no i'm like yeah or like another funny one that's so funny he'll you know he'll talk about when he was 21 and he was like let's see i don't know i'm just meeting up at a nightclub or something in new york city and like the coolest nightclub or whatever and i'm like what the heck you're cheating on me like why weren't you looking at me he's like baby you weren't you weren't born yet like so so that's actually like oh okay he's like you were in diapers you're ours you know stuff like that so i moved to phoenix 20 three years ago and you know she was just a kid and she's like when you first moved here why didn't you come find me i'm like you were four that would have been creepers that would have been if we met at any other time in life it would have been weird but no on all like just being real i i sometimes do feel like he is a lot younger than me because of his drive and his ambition and his energy he doesn't sleep but he's just like on fire like i i need a coffee i need my sleep you know and so no yeah you actually you're my role model speak to the benefits though of having an age difference because they're i'm serious you guys like abby and i i'm six months older than she is and there are times where legitimately i've wondered would would our relationship be even better if i were say five years older than her because i think there's just something that comes with time and maturity men take a longer time than mature that's for sure my wife wouldn't have got me if i was five years older than her because i think there's just this version of me if we met earlier in life like i feel blessed that she gets this version of me um and the other thing for me it keeps me i want to i want to look good for her i want to stay in shape for her i have little kids i want to be here for them as they as they get older i i want to walk my daughter if she gets married at 30 if my daughter gets married at 30 oh my god uh you know i'll be 85 years old wow when she's 30 right that's great so but i want to be here for her i'm you're going i mean like yeah so i want to be here for so so it does drive me yeah like it does drive me um um yeah so it's it's uh clint eastwood said something cool once that somebody said you know he's still directing movies in his 90s and he said uh someone says what's your secret and he said don't let the old man in and i think about that all the time i think about that all the time like i go to work out and i'm like i'm a little tired today maybe i didn't sleep less i'm like no you're going to work you know get to work well there's science to back that up i i've read i don't know the exact like research group that did it but i've i've read about how if you have children later in life you're going to live longer according to science because you just have a reason to wake up in the morning you have absolutely you have so much more purpose in your life and so then like now with me my my son was bored my first child i think i was 23 or 24 so now i'm like man do we just gotta keep having kids so i don't die like maybe i do like maybe gotta be like you know the kid actually i have a dear friend of mine lives five miles from here and he he has eight eight and uh four of them are now out of the house and he's like it is so quiet we should have had nine oh my goodness but then i guess like looking at my parents now they're their grandparents and that seems like a lot of fun actually they've actually straight up told me that being a grandparent's more fun in their opinion i'm sure they're opinion than being a parent just because you you know you're not i guess bogged down with all the responsibilities so it's like all the fun without the responsibility that makes sense yeah well okay well thank you for letting me pick your brain on that i guess let's let's look at these internet's most asked questions about you guys um the the first one i think this one's funny and you can answer this however you want it says how rich is dean graziosi as well as what the first one says yeah i see that all the time um you know i'll just say there's a certain amount of wealth here's what how i'll answer it i i you know i feel blessed my companies have over the last 30 years i've done over two billion dollars in revenue holy cat do you ever just like just like resonate on that and realize that like a billion is a lot it's a big number yeah and and but more than that is i say that but i but i'm truly at a phase in my life that means that especially the business i'm in i got to impact a lot of people yeah i've been blessed to impact millions of people how blessed am i that i wake up every day and my whole job is to try to help people go faster like you get to do this you you impact what you and your wife do allow someone to see uh hopefully you know this this podcast we talked today the whole thing's not going to resonate with everybody but if we said one thing today that sparks somebody maybe forgive their parents or parent a little different or bond with their wife a little differently or say oh my god i could have life work balance by just have life work integration if they did that one thing that we did our job today and this is what we get to do for a living so i would say more than the money is that the um the opportunity that i get to impact a lot of lives that's really cool that gosh i guess a follow-up question for that for you is because i i've been like wrestling with this about you know what what's what's the right number what's the i i guess like technically if i if i ran the numbers right now we'd have to you know sell our house significantly you know decrease expenses but i think technically my wife and i right now could on paper retire but then i'm like i don't know what i would do i don't know what i do with my time and your kids wouldn't see the reminding that you you said you get obsessed when you obsess about a camp a product a campaign or something you want to work on are you like sad is your arms down or are you like shoulders back excited ripping well like me being being seriously yeah i mean this like wholeheartedly being here with you guys right now gives me so much joy doing these interviews gets me fired up i just i love so meeting people okay if you didn't do anything for six weeks do you think your kids would see a better version of you or a worse version worse okay you're living into who you're meant to be and that's you have to model that you have to see that you have to live into it because your kids walk in and see this version of their dad loving life impacting people so don't i i'm never going to retire i will fall over in front of a camera or on stage at 100 years old that's an absolute fact yeah there's and so a couple of things what i was going to say though and i think i know these are long there's a longer answer so cut whatever you want oh you're good but when you get to a certain amount of money nothing really changes yeah right 100 it it doesn't change i feel blessed that we do extremely well we have our own plane we have a couple of houses but besides that i wear a t-shirt i don't drive a fancy car i got a six-year-old ford pickup truck that i love that's awesome and and i don't buy lamborghinis and fancy watches why don't you why don't you though because i don't like them they don't do anything and they feel too flashy for me um but what i do do you said it earlier is ever my last five houses i build the most elaborate gyms you've ever seen in your life so we just built a new house we feel blessed we moved in and i built a monster guest house and the whole house is a monster guest house the whole guest house is a gym that's so for that reason that you're saying because of proximity because i can just walk out and work out at 5 30 come back in and that's that's keeping you healthy that's here's a here's a part here's one thing i didn't see coming with wealth that i never would have expected you think it's the freedom it is it's the ability to help others we've we've fed tens of millions of people we built schools all over the world we do things we help fund phoenix children's hospital we've done a lot a lot of things that we get to do we do a lot of we i do things i've retired both my parents but the biggest one was is being from a family of parents that were married nine times really dysfunctional we moved 20 times by the time i was 20 years old always fights and in and out and not have money evicted from our trailer that we lived in had to move in with grandma all these things i realized that the reason i got successful is because i was running away from all the chaos yeah like i was never in control of my life everybody else was money was in control craziness was in control and i was never in control of my life everybody else was in control and i'm like i remember at a young age i'm getting rich so nobody tells me what to do so i can be in control of my own decisions i could raise my family the way i want so it was i i'm blessed that that was my childhood because it gave me the drive yeah right but i always was worried about money because i thought if i got enough money i could be in control of my decisions and there was a time where i had enough where i didn't have to worry about money anymore i have to worry about anything i'm good for life and at that moment what happens is you're not running away from anything and the only person you have to look at in the mirror is you and that's when i started working on my personal development in a different way because i couldn't say i'm too busy to work on me i got it i got to work i got to work i got to work you're okay financially so now you might have to deal with the things that you went through with your dad you might have to deal with the divorces you might have to and it i wasn't expecting that and it there was a moment that happened in my life so the byproduct for me was i got to do some self-exploration and self-work to be a better human that's really good thank you for sharing that yeah i i feel like i'm learning a lot just hearing you share your life experiences and hopefully i can take a thing or two and apply it to my life as you know a business owner not doing not doing two billion in revenue but well i'm 30 i'm 30 years older than you that time is a big thing yeah so you're probably exactly where i is where i was or ahead of where i was at 27 so time is huge imagine what you look what you've done in seven years what can you do in the next 30 that's true so i'm going to do it in the next 30 years i'm going to do it in the next 30 years i got 30 years on you so that's crazy to think about what else you got okay the next one we have is how do most millionaires make their money would that be real estate don't know isn't that like the majority of millionaires in the in the united states i think it is i think there's more real more real estate millionaires than any other thing but what i'd say is just a real quick answer it's those that can find a deep enough purpose a deep enough deep enough why break old habits be disciplined get routines like all the things that are in personal development you're like yeah yeah i heard all that but it's all those little things that are actually the big things when you pull the cover back on people that are successful it's not just the industry they're in it's the way they approach the industry they're in yeah what are the three c's i think this ties into some of your teaching material that that yeah could you describe what the three c's are for someone that doesn't know yeah in times of shift the country's in a weird place right now when it's been in and out of weird places the world has since the beginning of time when people say these are the worst times ever it's like not even close to the world it's like it's not even close to the world it's like it's not even close to the worst times ever right but when things are in transition like they are now with ai coming with polarization of politics with wars and the things going on in the world the way to embrace them the most i always thought was the three c's first you got to embrace change we all think we're good at change we're not change disturbs us but the most common thing in all of our lives is change the thing that happens to you more than anything else is change no kids kids wasn't weren't married you're married no podcast podcast hiring family not like change is huge yeah so what we have to realize if we don't change we stay the same and if we're not climbing or sliding so you have to find a way to look in your life in the areas of which you change and it went good and you have to associate change to those not change to the bad so you meeting your wife was a change but it's a great thing so if i didn't change from being single i wouldn't be married to this woman and have my kids yeah if i didn't you know all those things so if you if you associate change to good stuff you'll start shifting it that when change happens you're like oh where do i see the good in this the second one is courage once you embrace change then you have to be courageous enough to actually make the move and i think people wait for the third one i'll jump ahead is confidence confidence doesn't come until you have the courage to take the action okay right so courage the way i get courage is i think about what if i left it the way it is like i think the worst thing you could ever do is get to the end of your life and have your maker play you a video of the man you could have been oh that ouch right hey you played small you didn't take action you had that dream of that product and you never did it you this is who you could have been all you'd ever want if your maker played you that video what would you say send me back yeah send me back and what i always tell people is wish granted we're here be courageous today you can make a courageous bold move today so if you embrace change and you have courage is this badge of like it's scary but i'm doing anyway i'm gonna live into the person i'm meant to be then once you do that the byproduct of those two is the courage is confidence because you don't gain confidence until you're in it to your sleeves are rolled up to you're in there working it failing getting beat up get learning failing succeeding failing see all of a sudden you realize i can fail and it doesn't hurt and i learned what not to do over here and then confidence starts to build and the one thing i'd say to protect your confidence is true and this is gonna be like duh but identify the things that rob your confidence the things that build your confidence yeah in today's world when you watch the news is it take your confidence or give it to you take it away right talking to negative people that you loved once in your life but they tell you you got enough when you stop dreaming like is that take it away or give it to you yeah right some people have parents in their life that love them dearly but every time they see them like hey stop but so you got to identify the things that rob your confidence yeah and do less of them and then find the things that improve your confidence you doing podcasts you being in a mastermind you watching certain videos you having date night with your wife where you just take it away and you're like oh my god i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna take a walk and talk about all the things you've done with each other and it builds this cup then you identify and you fuel both of them you you i should say you fuel the things that build your confidence and stop doing the things that don't if you can get those three c's aligned there's not much it can stop you in a part of transition honestly you guys i'm very inspired by you i'm inspired by your love for each other your success in the business world and it's clear that you're doing a lot of good in the world through feeding america through all the different charitable organizations you help fund i didn't i didn't realize that you also helped fund the phoenix children's hospital as well help helping with that so um i'm just i'm just really inspired and motivated to hopefully be a better version of myself for my wife and my kids but also on the business front too go check out ai advantage summit you can also check out dean on instagram i think lisa is also on instagram as well um but this has been great i've nerded out in this podcast so if you've made it this far thank you for sticking around and putting up with me this long this these people are amazing and i i truly feel so honored that we got to do this so thank you guys thank you dean and lisa thank you guys and as always this is where we say peace out dudes three two one peace out dudes at edward jones we believe rich is about taking care of what gives your life meaning that's why your financial advisor personalizes your plan to help you preserve your progress and create something that lasts let's find your rich edward jones member sipc and we're back streaming on peacock may i present to you the award-winning staff of lido truth teller slap me let's jar something loose yes i like that the certified fresh series returns your boss you always like this or is this just an act oh no this is mad oysters everybody there's a certain satisfaction when you work with someone maybe we could be a family you sadistic pig the 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