Natural Born Haters

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This book is about what's happening right now in America, the rise of theocracy and fascism. We're watching the wall between church and state crumble before our very eyes. This book is a warning, but it is also a fight for human decency, for equality, and for the country that we believe in. Because everything that MAGA hates, I love. I love multiculturalism. I want to fight for marginalized groups, and I want to fight for this country. So join me and go grab your copy of Not Today Fascist. It's available now. Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay triots, they triots, black triots, brown triots, we love you. Triple Trumpers, fascists, losers, people that voted for Trump, any of the times can do what, Pumps? Fuck off! All right, Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, I want to start my grievance, and it's a big one. Just with an appreciation. I think smoke detectors save lives. I'm so happy they've been invented. Okay, I'm going to start that. What I have a problem with is that when it's time to change your battery and the chirping starts, when it's like chirp, chirp, chirp, I would think that that doesn't automatically have to be at two or three o'clock in the morning. I would think if your battery is starting to die, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine p.m., that chirping can go on, so you could do it before you go to bed. Fucking had it with the middle of the night chirping, your alarm battery needs to be changed. This fucking thing. Okay, obviously, part of this is on me. The first one happened at two o'clock in the morning. Of course, my smallest, youngest dog, Tilly, she's dying to have a late night go through the house barking just for shits and giggles. So this was just more excitement than she could take. She was so happy. I get the ladder out of the garage. I get up on it. I change the battery. Okay, great. Something in my head should have said, if one needs to be changed at this time, you probably just go ahead and do them all. But I didn't do that. I didn't do that. I stayed up. I couldn't go back to sleep because by this time, it's three. Okay, a week later, same fucking thing. Now, this time when I did it, I was having a really hard time seeing. So I had to get my phone up there with the light. I'm changing it. It's three o'clock in the morning. Tilly's running through the house, screaming hysterically. I change it. Again, I didn't think, do the one outside your bedroom. That's the only one you haven't done in the house. Happened the following week. And I got up on that ladder and I took that bitch and I slung it across the fucking room. I ripped it out of the ceiling. I was like, I hate this fucking thing. I would rather die in a fire and have to go through this again. So my thing is, if we have all this AI and we have all this fucking technology, why can't we have the chirping that your battery's low start before the middle of the night? Because it is consistent. My whole life in every house I've ever lived in, you never get a chirp at five in the afternoon. It's always after midnight. So I fucking had it with that. That is such a good grievance because it's so true. And I'm really impressed with the, like, I would have in the middle of the night, just put the ladder out, remove the battery, to shut it up and then thought, I'm going to go in and finish this tomorrow morning. But you took it over the finish line two out of the three times in the middle of the night. Here's the thing. Jennifer, you know, that was my first thought. I took the battery out, still chirping. So you have to rechange the battery in the middle of the night. Like you can't, I could not just take mine out and say, fuck it. I'll deal with it later. Oh no, no, no, no. So yeah, I just think that's a real, real miss. We're missing that layer of somebody should invent that. Yeah. It also, I think just a larger one is I've had it with batteries. I mean, do we not have the technology where they can last like a lifetime, a human lifetime? I mean, do you know what I mean? Like last 20 years, why can't we, why, why are batteries so behind? Obviously it's a racket, you know, they want to sell more. Obviously. I mean, in general, I've had it with batteries, phone batteries, remote control batteries, batteries, batteries. I mean, as you know, remember when the kids were little and they had all those devices and remote controls for video games, it was just a constant need for batteries. Mom, where's the AA batteries? My remote's about to die and I'm about to, I'm going to lose my space and I'm going to get killed. And they're screaming. Then you're just like, shut up. Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever not have batteries and you had to run to the store like right then? Raised to 7-Eleven just for peace at any cost. Yep. Same. Yeah. Yeah. Batteries in general from fire, fire alarms on down that we need, we need advancement and battery, battery technology. Let's pretend it's erectile dysfunction medicine and we will have the battery crisis solved within the next three months. Oh, there's no question because the science on that has been outstanding. Yeah. All right. So let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with forced, philanthropy at a self-checkout. Agree. So I've been flying a lot lately for the Not Today Fascist book tour. And I like to go get some gummy bears, something sour to have on the plane. Guilty pleasure. So I mosey on over to the gift shop or the, you know, the store in the airport. And I, I like a self-checkout, you know, I'm not, I can, I can function it. I can, I mean, doing my phone, Apple. Right. And then there's 95 choices. Do you want to round up to this? Do you want to donate to that? Do you want to do this part? Do you, oh, you know, if I wanted to be philanthropic, it wouldn't be five minutes before my flight. Completely. When buying gummy bears, which were already obscenely overpriced. One bag was $8 of just a normal size. Yeah. So I'm looking at that going, well, that's some bullshit. $8. That's insane. So then after I'm getting just completely raked over the coals on that, then they ask if I want to donate to some cancer thing or this thing. And the forced philanthropy is such bullshit. And I remember early on in this podcast, we looked into it and this is a racket run by these stores where they are taking the, uh, not being all of it and taking some sort of tax loophole and doing it. So even they're not being philanthropic when it comes down to it and not that much money ends up going to the charity. So I want a Congress that, um, removes, defunds, uh, uh, ice and prosecutes every last one of them from Stephen Miller all the way down to whoever's acted out of line. But I also want a Congress that will eliminate this type of stuff. Quit acting like Hudson news, in the airport that charges $8 for a bag of Haribo gummy bears is philanthropic. Just stop with asking me to donate. It's such bullshit. I want to be able to scan and then double tap scan and double. I don't want to talk about how many bags I need. I don't want to talk about anything. And you know what, for $8 for a bag of gummy bears, you throw in the bag. I agree. It's just come on, throw in the, and I don't want the bag, but I'm like, so if I did want the bag, then that's another bend over and take it to on top of, then we're going to make you feel like an asshole, an idiot for paying $8 for gummy bears. And I'm like an asshole for not caring about cancer research or whatever other racket they're wanting me to sign up for at the airport. Like, no, it's such bullshit. It's so performative. It's I hate forced capital people trying to rope you into buying something. You know, if you walk by a kiosk and like, Hey, Hey, at the mall, come try this wrinkle cream. If I want to try it, I will contact you. You don't contact me. If I want to give money to a charity, I'll contact them. You don't not during this checkout time period, right? It belabors the line. It irritated me to the point of no end. And I just, airports are such a miserable experience. Can't we just cut the crap with everybody? acting like when you're charging $8 for a bag of fucking gummy bears that you care about cancer. No. And bitch, take the mark up and donate to cancer. Pay your employees better, bitch. Like I'm not doing that. I hate it. It's everywhere you go. Everywhere. It's also horrible when somebody like, I like Taco Bell. I'm not going to lie. So at Taco Bell, when you drive through, they say, do you want to round up three cents for children with cancer or something? So I always say no, but then I always think, do they think that I'm just the biggest cunt? But I'm like, Taco Bell makes enough fucking money. They can donate all the money on the planet to children's cancer. Yes. And if this is such a big thing that they're for, then make a statement against the Trump regime and say, we, these businesses, these fortune 500 companies of America, want to say that we think Elon Musk and his Doge cuts to cancer research are going to kill people. And we do not support this. We are not going to fund this regime. We are the resistance. And furthermore, we are going to start paying our employees more and make sure that they have healthcare. That would be a better foot forward than bending me over for the $8 and then making me feel like an asshole for not giving the, you know, it was like two, five or 10 were my options. So I've just, I've had it completely with all of that. No, completely agree. And if you're not worried about go against RFK to just another person on your list, it's kind of cancer research. All right. I don't care if it's my husband, my dad, my sons, my brother, the men in my life are impossible to shop for. I'm always like, Hey, what do you want for your birthday? What do you want for father's day? Nothing. I'm fine. I have everything. Two days later, they show up with this great gadget that would have been the perfect gift. So I'm always like, Oh, what am I going to get these men in my life? Well, I discovered a brand called Ridge. They have amazing gifts for men. Let me give you a little example. One of them is called Ridges five in one travel power bank. And if the power bank isn't his thing, do not worry. Ridge has plenty of other gifts to choose from wallets in both. Classic and mag safe options, phone cases, luggage, key cases, and so much more. There's literally a gift for every man in your life or for yourself, which totally I need that charger bank because I'm always traveling around with way, way, way too many cords. They come in cool colors too, like phantom, burgundy, matte olive, base camp, orange, and matte black, a design that doesn't scream. I bought this at the airport. So are you ready to get ahead? Start on gifting. You can find Ridges power bank at Best Buy and Amazon or head to Ridge.com slash had it for Ridges friends and family sale, where you can buy two Ridge power banks and get a third one for free. That's Ridge.com slash had it shop smart this holiday season with Ridge. And after you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and let them know that we sent you. All right. Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Kylie. Hi. Um, yes. I have a really great review for you that we're going to start with. This is five stars titled to my favorite Antifa baddies. And Lindsay writes, I just want to let you ladies know that for Halloween this year, I'm going as Jennifer dressed up as Erica Kirk in the assassin outfit. When somebody asked who I am, I'm going to say I'm Jennifer Welch dressed as Erica Kirk. I will not be explaining further. I'll just be staring with dead eyes until they awkwardly leave the conversation, but I will not be breaking eye contact. I love you all so much. That's the best I've ever heard. That's that's fantastic. That is so good. I love, I can't wait for Halloween. It's so fun. I've figured out what my costume is. I'm not telling until the day of, but it is. I'm pretty excited about it. A hell of a good. It's a real fuck you to MAGA. Do what? I said hell's angel. No, no. If it's a fuck you to MAGA, will you wear it over your mother's house? Yeah. Here's the deal. She's straight Fox news. So I bet she didn't even know half the costume. She'd probably be like, what are you doing with that? So who knows? All right. Okay. I've got some submissions. We're still on this sock debacle. Oh, I have an update. At my show in New York, there was a woman. She came up to me and she said, Jennifer, look at my socks. I'm 56 years old and they were floral socks that folded down with a little lace around them. She had little loafers on, looked fantastic. It looks so cute. Okay. So before we get to some boomer videos, I got this DM. Caitlin said, how this millennial feels about crew socks and also triple trumpers. And it's them flipping off with their toe. Middle toe. It's kind of impressive. I was going to say that is fucking impressive right there. Well, did you notice we had to put it up against the wall? Yeah. Yeah. It was really smart to. Yeah. I could never figure that out. Okay. So first boomer submission is from Steve. Hello, ladies. Steve here. A boomer from 1957. Aries. As Angie would say, here's the thing. Congratulations on surviving crabs. How cute. How very 80s. I see your crabs and raise you one syphilis, one gonorrhea. Fun has been had regarding socks. I'm supposed to take advice from people who thought it was a good idea to wear suit that had straight leg pants that were high water with no socks and brown shoes, no matter what the color of the suit was. Jesus God. It's like you're taking cues from tech bros who are the worst fucking people on the planet. The only sock rule I ever knew related to dress socks. I had someone tell me once that the difference between calf length over the calf dress socks and ankle length dress socks is that over the calf dress socks look better when you're in a suit and you cross your legs, but they look more stupid when you're having an affair and you drop your pants in the hotel. I love him so very much. You know, the liberation of aging and your give a fuck meter being completely decimated. And he immediately ticks off all of the STDs that he survived with pride. Oh, I love that. Fun was had. And he thought that your crabs was quaint and so very 80s. God, I love that so much. And he's so right about the dress socks up over the calves. So Josh, my very stylish husband, you know, he wears, I don't know where this came from, because he's so vain. He spends a lot of time thinking about his outfits, but he wears these compression socks to the gym up over his calves. And when we're walking to the gym in New York, whether it's summer or winter, it doesn't matter. He wears short shorts and compression socks up over the calves. And he walks kind of like Jean-Claude Van Damme in RoboCop, I think it was, or something like that. You're showing your age with that. Jean-Claude Van Damme. You know how he walked like, and our boomer submittal will get that. He says, everybody's kind of staring down at my socks. And he cares so much about how everything looks with the exception of those compression socks. And he's just, and he'll have on like a big puffer in the winter, unzipped, long, long, big puffer, short shorts, compression socks. He's sitting in the room right now, laughing. What color are the compression socks? Black. It's the dorkiest dork situation you've ever seen. You've ever seen in your entire life. They look like diabetes, like medical socks, prescription socks. Nursing home. It's a nursing home situation. And it's really kind of refreshing because he cares so much about all these other details. But when it comes to the compression socks, the pride that he takes in them and knowing that they're so dorky, and he just keeps continuing to do it despite all the looks, despite the, well, that's a weird look. I think somebody said to him one day, well, that's a look or something like that. And he just continues doing it. Maybe it's gross. And normally he would be in spiral mode over the socks. Yeah. If somebody said, God, what's going on with those socks? But no, he's committed, I guess. Yeah. All right, Kylie, who's next? Okay. This one is an intergenerational submission. Hello. I've had it. I'm here gathered. I am a, what am I, Gen Z? Sure. 1997. STD free. I have no idea what this is, by the way. This is Gen X mother. Boomer grandmother. I need everybody's opinions on socks. Why did you say STD free? It's part of the experiment. And if your watch would like them. Can I have that same? I don't know. Can you? Um, yeah. Never STD? Never. No crabs? No. Okay. Opinions on socks? Socks? Crew socks, no show. Yeah. What are your thoughts? I don't like socks. Okay, no socks. No socks. Now what about a penny loafer? Fuck. No. You can say socks. It's okay. No. Penny loafer. And if you have the penny loafer, do you put the penny in the penny loafer? No, but I know someone who did. Flint the camera. Thoughts on penny loafers? Um, they don't make them the way they used to, so it's no fun. True. But did you like them when they made them? Yeah, I wore them. With the penny, you put the penny. No, I put a dime in because that's what you needed for a phone call. Where do you put it? Oh, it's like a little slit on the top of it. Top of it. Okay, thoughts on socks? No. She doesn't like socks either. My thoughts on socks are, I have pots, so I have to wear compression socks. That's very important. That's very Josh Welch of me. Anyway, love you guys. Bye-bye. That was teed up so perfectly, Kylie. It's almost like that was just that serendipitous producing. I didn't even make it that far in the video, so that was- Because you were laughing so hard. I love the mother in the Christian Cross pray t-shirt dropping an F-bomb. That was my favorite. My absolute favorite. And then like, STD, no! And her trying to explain to them, that was so good. Bringing in a multi-generational, no notes. It was perfect. Love your mom and grandmother. What I love is the mom goes, why did you say that about your STD? She's like, she knows she'd have to explain too much to get there. She's like, it's just, it's just, you know. Don't worry about it. That was great. I love it. That's the last one I've got today. No, we don't have any more? I've got one more, but it's- It's very complimentary of me, so I almost didn't want to put it up. No, you have to. Of course you wanted to put it out there, Kylie. Do not lie. She told me before we started, I have tons of content with all of these videos, so that can fill up a lot of the episode. And I think we've just played two, and I don't think by any stretch of the imagination, that means tons. It wasn't enough? That is a couple. Tons. Tons, right? Tons, I would think you've got 10. But you had two. And now you're making me beg for the third, which is a, it's heavy on, some love on Kylie. Well, okay, so you set this whole thing up. You set her up before the episode started, that we have tons. Tons. She calls for the next one. With tons. Tons. She calls for the next one, and you're like, I don't really want to play it because it's super complimentary of me. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. I was just hoping you would ask. Yeah, of course you were. All right, let's hear it. Hi, guys. Old ass boomer bitch, Sally here from Winston-Salem, North Carolina. I love you guys. You're amazing. Before I go through my quick, I'm going to try and make this so quick, list of little things that you guys have addressed that maybe you want a boomer's opinion on, I have to tell you, and I'm not hitting on you, Kylie, I swear to God I'm not, but you are one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen. Nice. Nice. I'm sorry, because they're gorgeous, too, but man, Kylie, I just, every time you pop on, I'm just like, Kali, she's amazingly gorgeous, so I just had to get that out, and again, not hitting on you. First and foremost, did not have crabs. Ended up with, well, short story, quick story, wish my best friend was here, was in the hospital, 20 years old. Nurse comes in, my mom's there, my best friend's there, and she's like, I'm really sorry to tell you this, you have gonorrhea. So, I think I said a few expletives, I'm sure I did, my mom was in shock, my friend just starts laughing, like, she wasn't full-on laughing yet, she was just kind of like, what? So, we're trying to process all that. I had to call my fiancé. At the time, he was at work, working nights, and asked him who the hell he's been fucking, and he said, "Nobody, obviously it's you." Well, right after that upsetting phone call, the nurse comes back in, she's, "I am so sorry, you do not have gonorrhea, you're pregnant." What? So, by this point, my friend is literally, no exaggeration. On the floor of the hospital room, laughing her ass off, uncontrollably. My mom wasn't sure whether to be more upset over the gonorrhea or me being pregnant. I still, to this day, God rest her soul, I just don't know which upset her more. But anyhow, I got a beautiful kid out of it. Aww. Wow. That is so funny. That is crazy. I think it's a really good way. Misdiagnosed pregnancy. Pregnancy with gonorrhea? Yeah. Yeah. How does that even happen? I feel like it prepped the mom to not be as mad about the pregnancy. That was kind of a relief at that point. It's kind of smart. I've been using Nutrafol for a couple of years, and I love the product. I love it. It makes my hair feel so much thicker, it makes my hair feel better. Could not be happier. I'm like, "How could they possibly make this product better?" Well, Nutrafol was like, "Hold up, girl. We actually are going to make this better." I'm like, "What?" I'm like, "I'm going to make this better." I'm like, "I'm going to make this better." at any age or stage of life. And now, the Nutrafol Women's Formula has been upgraded I'm like, "I'm going to make this better." I'm going to make this better." to its most advanced version yet. It's 100% vegan, biotin-free, and it comes in a smaller capsule size to make your daily routine easier. Listener, see thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding in just three to six months. Now, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $15 off your first month subscription and free That's how I make it better. That's how I make it better. Okay, I have a story about that, about what we've just been talking about. So when we were in college, there's like a health clinic that you go to. And one of my girlfriends got an STD. I think it was chlamydia. Yeah, it was chlamydia. And so they gave her a prescription for the antibiotic. I don't remember what it was. And then they gave her another bottle with her name on it, but in parentheses, it said partner. So she leaves the clinic, goes and gives her boyfriend the medicine. She just hands it to him. And then she flies off to California back for Christmas break. She said, "Partner." She has her medicine sitting on the deal. Her dad was a doctor. He picks it up, and I guess it was whatever, and it said, "Something, something, partner." He's like, "Oh, I think you gave the guy that gave you chlamydia the wrong thing." She said she wanted to die because he immediately knew that he goes, "So you have gonorrhea," because he knew what the medicine was. Then she gave the bottle with her name on it to the partner, and hers just said her name and partner. She was dead. Dying, because it was the biggest bust in history. Yeah, that's tough stuff. How about the girl calling her boyfriend and just chewing him out that he gave her gonorrhea? He thinks she's fucking around. She thinks he's fucking around. Oh, no, we're having a baby. That's what it was. Kind of a shock. All right. Since we don't have tons of these generational submissions, like I was told prior to filming this podcast in our pre-production meeting. I just want to go back on the permanent record and say, "Oh, I have tons of these submissions, multiple generations. My mailbox is full." I was like, "I think that's really fun. We need a break from all the political stuff. We'll just play a bunch of those." We're 25 minutes in, and the executive producer of the podcast, let's just get her back in here. Kylie, what else do you have for us today? I also prepared voice memos. Okay. I have tons of content. Okay. Okay. I really liked our series with the videos. I really was excited about it. I wish there were more. Yeah, I really do. But we'll go to voice memos. We appreciate the voice memo senders. Let's do voice memos. Okay. Up first, we've got Dana. Hey, Jen, Pumps, and Kylie. This is Dana from Florida. My "I've Had It" is actually with one Miss Welsh. I started your book today, "Not Today, Fascist." It's amazing. so far, 10 out of 10. I didn't expect anything less. However, I do have an I've had it because Miss Ma'am, who the fuck do you think you are making me cry like that with that dedication? That is all. If you haven't read it, go get the book, read the dedication. I'm sure a lot of us can relate. Sent me over the fucking menopause edge today. Thank you. I've had it. Well, the dedication I'll share with you all and or should I share it or make them go buy it? Well, it's just one sentence. I'm going to share it. And it says to all the blue dots and red states, you're not crazy. They are. And any blue dot that lives in a red state understands the judgment from the worst people, you know, like the worst people, you know, the worst human beings, you know, are the most judgmental towards your politics of compassion, equity, inclusion, et cetera. And they act, they look at you and like, like you're so crazy and they're condescending and they're bullies and they're just awful. And so I'll, I'll die on this hill. The best progressive people I have ever met are the people that have been in the trenches for years in red states, walking uphill, barefoot in the snow, both ways around all of the different states. And so I'm going to share it with you. And I'm going to share it with you. And all of the depravity of MAGA, MAGA Christians, et cetera. So I wanted to dedicate the book to a portion of the electorate that is always overlooked. It's always dismissed. If you live in Louisiana, Alabama, Oklahoma, Texas, and you can go West Virginia, Tennessee, you go on and on down the list. The national politics treats you as though your voice doesn't matter. The way our elections are set up treats you as though your voice doesn't matter due to the electoral college. And it's really frustrating. It's a really frustrating existence being a progressive in a red state where your existence and your vote is just kind of, you know, being completely pushed aside. So I wanted to dedicate that, the book to those voices, because for my entire life, I've been a blue dot in a red state, surrounded by the most, the meanest people I know, the meanest people I know to date right now are the biggest judgers of progressives for wanting healthcare for people, for wanting people to have livable wages. And so I wanted to, I understand why she felt emotional about it. And it's because it's such an overlooked portion of the electorate. It's for decades, I would sit just thinking, I wish we had this big rallies here. I wish we had a big rally here. I wish every vote actually counted and politicians could come to Oklahoma. And, but you know, it doesn't happen. So that's really sweet. And I appreciate with your grievance. I've had it with me almost all day, every day, just for a multitude of reasons. So I feel your pain. I also just want to shout out at Jen's New York bookstop. There was a gay couple that got married earlier that day and then came and spent their honeymoon with Jen at her show. I love that. That is so sweet. Yeah. And there was a gal from Australia and it was her 60th birthday. Yeah. Yeah. It was a great. Yeah. It was a great crowd. And then Paola Ramos was the moderator and she's just so incredibly intelligent. And I just love her. Okay. Up next, we've got Riley. Hi, Jen and Pumps. And the beautiful Kylie and Seth and Ryan. I love you guys so much. I'm a longtime listener. Love your podcast so much. I just wanted to let you know that I've had it with people who say that you shouldn't be haters. I am a hater. I'm hater number one. You can just go ahead and call me a hatred. I'm a hatred. And I think that we should start using that term. You know, we can use it in everyday life, but we can also use it in reference to politics. Donald Trump, I hatred you. I'm a hatred to you. And I'm a hatred to life. So that's what I've had it with. I love you guys both. And proud hatred. I'm coining that term. God, I have been saying this for years, for years. Be a hater and own it. And I would joke around and say, I'm going to drink my haterade and then just go. I'm going to drink my haterade and then just go. To town. It's okay to hate shit. It is. It's all of this toxic positivity. Bullshit online is so exhausting. And I mean, I take so much pride in my hatred for Stephen Miller, for Donald Trump, repeat hag Seth, like our haters in the comment section that come in. I always say I admire their hate. I admire that they took the time to drop on the YouTube or drop in a one-star review or drop in an Instagram comment to really feel like they're a hater. And I think that's a great thing to do. And I think that's a because that takes so much care and energy. So I'm with her. I love a hater. I love a hater too, but I will say I am part of the overall problem in the United States right now that my hate for like Stephen Miller, Donald Trump, name one, gives me dopamine hits. Like I probably like it too much. It makes me feel like when I see something and hate something, it makes me feel good. And that can't be right. I don't feel good. I feel good about hating them, but I'm also tired of it. It's not my default setting. Like I get tired of what they're doing and I get tired of hating them. I get tired of them. I don't know. I'm at the stage in the whole fascist takeover where, I mean, yes, I have pride in the hate, but God, when I see the shit they're doing, the statements they make, the pain they are causing on people, it's just so much. It's just so, so much. And we're relatively unscathed by it, but so many millions and millions and millions of people are hit so hard by their cruelty and their cruel policies. So I agree with the caller. We are at the stage in the whole fascist takeover where, I mean, yes, I do hate them, but I'm at the I go brew the coffee and then the phone starts happening. I get distracted with this. I realize I need to put clothes from the dryer out, fold them before they get wrinkled, et cetera. So it's stop, start, stop, start. And then my coffee gets cold and then I'm microwaving it. It's just a huge problem. It's just a cycle of me never being able to get the coffee into the body that I desperately need. And that's why I'm happy to share with you guys my discovery of Ember. Ember lets you set the temperature you want your coffee. So you don't have to microwave the same cup over and over again. And with the new Ember 3 mug, you can set your temperature right on the mug or use an app. It's also the first Ember mug that is dishwasher safe for easy cleanup. The mug includes a free sipping lid, which helps make the battery last over three hours. With over 4 million mugs sold, I'm not the only one who loves her Ember. Listener, your coffee exactly as you left it. Discover the best deals happening now at Ember.com slash had it. Go to Ember.com right now. And when you're asked where you heard about them, let them know it was, I've had it. That's Ember.com slash I've had it. All right, Kylie. Okay. Up next, we've got Allison. Hey ladies, I just wanted to say hi and that I'm listening to your podcast for the first time. As I drive from Seattle down to Oregon where I live and I absolutely love your honesty. I love your perspectives. I love the first world problems that you complain about. And I just want to give a shout out to Linda about the breweries and children. We have a lot of food truck lots where I live and it has become a place for people to drink and let their feral children run around unsupervised and I'm sick of it. The other thing I'm also sick of is the word journey and special. I've been listening to soccer. I've been listening and watching baseball. I love sports and everything is special. Everything is a journey and we need to come up with some other language. That's all. Thanks for keeping up the great podcasts. I'm now a fan and I'm hoping to continue listening to more of your hilarious antics. Thanks so much. First of all, I'd like to welcome you. I'm so happy to grow the community. And I want to say you. brought back some OG grievances before we really shifted and started our work in the area of patriotism, of browbeating these MAGA people. And it is the journeys. That was one of the original grievances that I had. Why is everything a journey? If you're packing a backpack and schlepping from point A to point B in the wilderness, journey. That is a journey. Going to multiple yoga classes over the course of six months is not a yoga journey. You're just going to class. You're going to exercise class. I could say we're on our podcasting journey, but I wouldn't say that because that's fucking stupid because it's my job. You know? The one I remember from, our first like group of this, and I can't remember if it was a caller. Welcome to your home buying journey. There's no journey in a home buying. Like it's filling out paper. It's not, it's just not a journey, but I'll tell you what kind of replaced journey. And I've kind of had it with now, like we've moved from eras ever since Taylor Swift eras to her. I'm in my yoga era. I'm in my health food era. I'm in my vegan era. Like you're not in an era really. Yeah. I'm in my yoga era. I'm in my vegan era. I'm in my fuck you era is what I'm in my fuck you. Fuck you. I'm a hatred. Fuck up. But I'm drinking haterade. I'm in my haterade era. Yeah. It's a lot. I think everybody's just so yearning for some fix. You know, if this journey will fix it or if they describe it in, you know, all of these colorful terms. God, you know what, what I'd like to hate on? You know, those great boomer videos that we were watching. Yeah. That we were. That we were promised that we had tons. Tons of. Tons, but we have two. Yeah. All right, Kylie, who's our next caller? She's over there smirking. Okay. How much did you spit out my water? Up next we've got Libby. I've had it with having to confirm appointments, especially multiple times prior to my arrival. I'm talking about hair, nails, even medical appointments. Motherfucker, my confirmation is that I booked the appointment and I have not yet canceled it. That means that I'm going to be there. Do not terrorize my emails, my texts. Do not hound me ahead of time to respond with a C or respond with a one or log in and confirm. I will be there or I will cancel it and I will not engage with your codependence any further. It's so true. This sits perfectly in the same space. Of my hate, being a hater of people wanting to over communicate with me. Yeah. If I unsubscribe from your email, do not fucking tell me it's going to take three days for that to kick in. Don't say you're sorry to see me go. Don't say I can come back at any time. It's fucking over. If I book the appointment, then the burden is on me to manage that thing. And the constant confirm your appointment, we're going to cancel it, confirm it. Confirm the reservation, confirm. There's just, I don't want to communicate with people. And those aren't even people, they're the its. I don't want to communicate with it that much. I'm not some freak like Lauren Sanchez, Bezos, that wants to communicate with AI robots all the time. It's just weird. I will say I prefer a text confirmation more than I do a person calling me. That just goes all the way. Which I don't get as much anymore now that we have that. But I agree. We don't need to confirm all this. We don't need to. I have a great idea. I have a great idea. Josh, get over here. Josh has been in here watching and I think this would be a great opportunity. Kylie, you don't have to change the cameras. I'll be right here. And while he's coming, he'll be right here for us to ask him about his triple booking of haircuts and about his problem of sweating when wearing sweaters and ADDs. I agree. Josh, welcome to iPad It. You have to put your face right here. So we're going to be like this. Hi, Joshy. Hi, good morning. Scoot, put your face in more. Okay. And that's really kind of a cute picture. This is as close as we've been in weeks right here. Give her a smooch. That was kind of, that felt like a Josh Hawley. That was PDA. Didn't that feel like Josh Hawley? I'm learning. I'm learning intimacy. Okay. So I shared with the listener about the three haircuts in 30 day period. Can you walk us through the psychology of that? Yes, I can. Let me back up by saying any time we take a trip, I feel this compulsion to go to a salon, like if we're in a big city. Because as the listener viewer knows, I live in Oklahoma City. So if we take a trip, I want to get a haircut. And I took the first trip. first haircut I think was in New York and about a week or two later this that was LA LA the first haircut was in LA that's right and then I pulled a Josh Welch style move and I got back-to-back haircuts at the same salon with different stylists after that so it was three New York yeah New York and it was three haircuts and after the third one it sunk in I looked at myself and and I literally looked like I just signed up for Pete Hex's military like I was getting ready like I'd bought into some scripture bullshit chant that he was on and I said bucket I'm going to sign up I'm in I'm in and so the hair was so short and I went to Jennifer expecting some empathy from her and I said god it's just so short Jennifer and she's like what do you expect you got your third haircut in a month you didn't need the second or third or arguably the first haircut you got exactly don't blame the stylist you got exactly what you asked for you got short hair otherwise you wouldn't have gone back and so I had to sit in that for a little bit and just you know and it didn't look good and it's now growing back and and I don't know if this surprises anyone or not but I think about my hair a lot during the day it's something like right now I think it's looking pretty good I can see myself in in this uh stream there's been accusations in the comment section that you dye your hair what do you have to say about that no I mean this this right here is just gray and and I don't I don't dye it to be brown and my hair is just natural there is there is gray in this little bit like one strand no there's a little it's but it's like it's I don't know but it is I I swear and he would own it and I would out him if he dyed it I would immediately throw him under the bus but he doesn't but I think I read where somebody wrote that the beard grays first and then the hair that that's kind of the normal evolution because you see it a lot a lot of men with that their hair's not completely gray their beard dark okay Josh I want to ask a question okay and so we have a new listener we know can you just talk about your hair folder on your phone um and is that still current yeah yeah so well and I continue to add to it seems like I added uh God who was it the the so far in there I have Bradley Cooper who I think that I obviously he and I are contemporary yeah Brad Pitt I think he has some good photos Tom Brady went went through a phase where I liked his cut the guy one of the guys from succession can't think of his name uh Jake Gyllenhaal all of these people have made my made my folder and so when I go to the salon I whip this out and the style is just like somebody like who is this maniac like showing me Jake Gyllenhaal saying hey I want to look like this you know is it Gyllenhaal or Gyllenhaal it's the first time I've ever heard anyone say Gyllenhaal it's Jillian right it's a soft G can I uh submit something yes please for everybody yeah I'm just going to pop this up oh Kylie thank you so much for doing this um let me address this because I heard I heard part of this earlier describe what the commission I'll gladly uh speak to this so so I guessed it on the pod in frequently not near as much as I have now recently and so one of the days literally on the way to the gym Jennifer said hey I'm going to have you jump in and we're going to interview Emma and I'm going to have you jump in and co-host I think pumps you're traveling or doing something I don't remember and so I was like okay sure well then it dawned on me after the workout on the way to the studio it's like look I'm wearing compression socks and short shorts are my legs going to be shown in this thing I mean what's it you know I'm a lawyer I'm I try to present sometimes quasi seriously am I gonna like you're gonna see this and Jennifer's like oh no no you won't see it at all no no you'll just see from the waist up and so okay that's fine so of course I don't see any of this stuff well after this airs a few days later I go back and look at some of the comments and every single one of them is who is this buffoon in this video wearing these shorts who is this and I was like Jennifer I told you how is that how could you see this um and then I heard the earlier part about my compression socks um, right there. Yeah. And, and I, I love the compression socks, but I'll wear like a winter jacket on the way to the gym when we go work out. And I swear three or four people will do kind of a down and up on me, like down and up, like the fuck are you wearing? And I just, it's one of those things I just roll with. I like, like she said, I've evolved a little bit to where I can make fun of myself and have these little quirks that you like to wear. But that, that photo right there, that pissed me off. I went to her and I said, listen, you didn't tell me that was going to be shown. I mean, everybody rightfully so is saying, what in the fuck is he wearing? Why, why would he wear this to, to film a podcast? Who does that? Can I submit one more thing? Yes, please. Yes, please. Yes. Oh yes. This was my all time favorite. Yes. Okay. So just to remind everybody, Josh and I entered a pickleball tournament and we won first place. And I, I love to win. I'm a sore winner and we got trophies and to troll pumps who trolled me constantly for my love of pickleball just sent her into orbit. We, we put her in the torture chamber of doing a sore winner presentation, trophy, sore winner trophy presentation on our YouTube channel. And there's pumps in the middle sandwiched by the Welch's and we have, we won the short shorts and he knew this was going to be on camera. So I'll take the blame for the Emma Vigeland episode, but this, he, he knew walking into it and he has on, he wears short shorts, 1980s NBA style, short shorts, which I think it needs to come back. I like a short, short. And so he's kind of manspreading as well. And this, this got a lot of, of traction in the comment section as well. It did. And I, in fairness to me, I'm not, I wasn't real podcast savvy at this point in time. So I wasn't aware of the angles that would be shown and what would be seen. I just, I think I'd worked out or something. And I just showed up, I rolled in and, and sure enough, I mean, there I am just, you know, kind of leg spread package just right there, just short shorts, just like, again, the listener viewer would be like, what the fuck is this clown wearing like to the podcast? Why are you doing this? What the comments said, why is Josh in his underwear? Which was my favorite. Yeah, exactly. And right. Hopefully. So I deserved every bit of that, but, but that right there was the reason why I was so sensitive to the Emma session that we did because I knew what an idiot I look like wearing something like that. So I wanted to make sure from her that, Hey, this isn't going to be a repeat of that. Is it? And then I got all of these assurances that no, no, you're only going to be from the waist up. You're not going to see that. And it looks even worse than the second one, because I've got the socks up to the knees and it's a side shot. And you're just, you just, you think who, who would do that? You know, it'd be like, but you know, the people that put a suit top on and then they're wearing underwear, they're wearing shorts on the bottom. You know, when they film a podcast, it would be like given a full view of that person wearing that get up. So here's a comment. I am certain that Josh is wearing his banana hammock from Italy for this episode. I watched this entire episode praying to his G O D for him to stand up. Was that from the pickleball victory? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, it was, it was, it was bad. It was really his shorts are a conversation I want to have. I will say this. It, it, it picked up my self-esteem with a lot of the gay listeners and viewers that enjoyed it. I was glad that I could provide. You're like, I'm a hot number. Yeah. What is it? A zaddy zaddy. Yeah. Josh has a, uh, and these, uh, gay friends of mine were there and they're just uber attractive, like very attractive married couple. And Josh goes, God, y'all are so good looking. Y'all are going to make me question. Should I be gay? They were infringing upon my heterosexuality. They were buttoned up against that. Like, damn. Okay. So anyway, how's it going pumps? How are you? It's great. I had to sit over there and listen to all of this and not be able to defend myself. I could hear you girls going at it on my compression socks and I just had to kind of sit there and take it. We talk about you a lot on the podcast. Well, I noticed, you know, my favorite thing is, is one day at the courthouse, um, when I'm there on a case, I'm a lawyer and, and somebody randomly in the courtroom asked me how my ear is. How the fuck would this person, you know, it's like a cop or someone that works in the DA's office. Somebody, it's asking me about my ear and I'm thinking, how is it? How is your ear? Yeah. My ear is a lot better. Uh, it's, it's fantastic. Body fat check-in? Uh, about 9% as of two days ago. You haven't done it in two days? No. Well, Jen's got a scale at the house, but, but I here in New York, but I haven't been able to do it. But so I get stuff like that all the time. How's your ear? Um, how was your trip or what was it recently? Uh, the haircuts I think have been, uh, you know, he's now on his dental journey. We've got, we've got a series of dental appointments going on. Um, and then, yeah. And so, but anyway, Josh, thank you for hopping in. Um, we had a, uh, uh, problem content problem in this episode in the pre-production meeting. You were here for the pre-production meeting, right? Yeah. I heard Kylie, uh, sort of bragging a little bit about this content that she had. And then I heard it went about too deep into the segment. And then it was discovered that there's a little bit of content. Fraud. Right. Well, here's what I think happened. She got me all excited. She's gonna play all these. We have so many submissions. I mean, this is a big thing. I told her like, I love these video submissions and I really want to highlight boomers because boomers are getting a bad rap and there's some really fucking good boomers or some shitty boomers, but there's some really good boomers. And so, you know, she's like, I got a ton, ton of submissions. But what she really wanted was that third submission out where the gal talked about how hot she was. I don't think there's any question about that because we had our headphones on. It was good. I didn't hear it, but I noticed how she tactically presented it to where you all had to beg for it as if it was her will. It was all part of the master scheme. Yeah. As if she was going to, okay, I'll play it. Like she, I don't want to play it. I mean, I don't want to, it's too complimentary of me. I don't like that, but I will do it. And then I think she was on the subway this morning coming to work and was like, here's how I'm going to get it done. I assume it was everything that you did. She wanted it to be right. It must've been very glowing. It's just like, I mean, it was like, Kylie is just like incredibly beautiful. Like seriously, which is true. It was like, you know, I mean, perhaps it shouldn't have her. You're pretty, but I mean, my God, Kylie. Yeah. It's like when pumps and I were on the, I've had the hot shit tour. People would come to see us in person. They'd go, oh my God, you guys are pretty. Yeah. That was all Kylie's fault too. If we didn't expect any of that. Okay. I'm going to check out, go get them girls. All right. Thank you, Josh, for the audience, particularly the Gaytrias. And I'm an illustrious. I mean, fucking everybody wants to know because it's a nice distraction from the fuckery. All right. Speaking of the fuckery, the book is out, Not Today Fascist. We did a little, you know, dedication. To the blue dots and red States, uh, missing from the book is, um, the chapter on how beautiful Kylie is. But when I make the sequel to Not Today Fascist, which will be, which will be Kylie's saying not today, Jennifer in mid episode, that will be the name of my next book. Kylie, do we have content? Not today, Jennifer. Um, so, uh, it's really great. We've been on a tour for a long time. I enjoy those. I would really like for people of all generations to send, you know, announce what generation you're a member of Gen Z, millennial, Gen X and boomers. Um, still very interested in the STDs. I think it's great content and, uh, your grievance, whether it's socks or whatever, just your grievances. And it could be political, but I like these videos. I like seeing the faces. Of our listeners. Um, I, I really would like by the time we film next time to have a ton, to have a ton, which is more than three, just for reference that we have a ton of content is, is what I'd like. Kylie claims that it's best to get on your phone, the camera app, hit video, record it, then go to Instagram and then send that video in the DM to K I L E Y J O S E Y or I've had a podcast. That's, that's what we need. And I believe that Kylie, how many did you actually have tons that were sent to you? Yeah. Tons are sent. Tons were sent. Okay. Yeah. And we had to stop today at the one glowing. Only three were selected, I guess. Okay. There we go. And then you forced. Two, but then you, I mean, I didn't force you to play the third. Kylie Ann. I really didn't want to play it. Oh, horse shit. Horse shit. All right. That's all we have. We will see you all, uh, whatever, you know, we're always, it seems like we see you guys a lot. We want to see you. So send us the videos. Bye. Check engine ABS or maintenance light on take the guesswork out of your warning lights with O'Reilly Veriscan. The service is free and provides a report with solutions verified by ASE certified master technicians. And if you need help, we could recommend a shop for you. Ask for O'Reilly Veriscan today. Auto Parts