Narrative Identity & Future Self Continuity | How a Stable, Coherent Life Narrative Improves Decision Making, Accelerates Action & Creates Momentum | The Science of Frequency Training (Part 6 of 7)

[Music] What is up everyone? Welcome back to the We Are Encoded Podcast. Pumped to get into the next episode of the 7-part mini-series that is breaking down all the different scientific mechanisms related to frequency training and how the system works. So I'm pumped to enter this episode which is going to go deep around narrative identity and the future self. This is an expansion in even further detail that builds on episode one of this series which was related to identity architecture. And so as a quick reminder, identity architecture is the clarity that we have around who we are, what we do, why we do it, and that we can do it, and self-epiccy meaning that I can trust myself to do it. Now as we build on this into narrative identity in the future self, this gets a lot more expansive related to the story that we tell ourselves about who we are, what we've done, what we do, and where we're going. And so without even realizing it, everybody acts in alignment with a story that they tell themselves. And so if you've ever heard someone say, "This is just who I am, I'm just emotional sometimes or I try to do something new but it just doesn't stick," or this always happens to me. I'm so unlucky or something like that. They're not describing who they are. They're not describing themselves. They are reinforcing a story that they're telling themselves about who they are. And so the story is not harmless, it actively shapes what you try to do, what you attempt, what you avoid to do, what feels scary, and what you think is possible. And so for this episode, we are going to go deep around what narrative identity actually is. We're going to explain why most people feel stuck even when they are fully capable and super talented and that how updating our internal story changes our behavior without trying to force outcomes or force different changes. And so let's first get into what narrative identity actually is. Narrative identity is the internal story that you use to explain who you are, where you've been, and where you're going. And so from psychology, humans do not experience life as isolated events. We organize them into coherent narratives. And these narratives create meaning, they create expectations, and they drive the direction that our life is going. And so grounding this in research, narrative identity theory shows that we construct a life story that integrates the past, present, and anticipated future, and that this story becomes the lens through which our decisions are made. And so our narrative identity is not facts, they are not factual, they are our interpretation and our meaning and our direction. And so the story isn't just about your past, it's actually predicting and driving your future. And so without clarity on who we are, where we've been, and where we're going, and stability and conscious choice around that, it creates the symptoms that we've talked about before, like self-doubt, overthinking, needing external validation, feeling uncomfortable and uncertainty and other symptoms like that. And so the root cause here is a fragmented or limiting narrative identity. And so when this happens, this happens when our past failures dominate the story that we look back and we tell ourselves a story about all the bad things that have happened to us and how we failed or were past our prime or that proves to us that we're not good enough or that we couldn't do that, that the past failures dominate the story that setbacks become identity defining that maybe the something slowed down in our business and we had to lay people off and now we feel guilt and shame that we're not good enough and we can't do this and we let people down and that story stays with us. It happens when the future feels vague or distant that it's so far away and it doesn't feel realistic or possible or that it feels blurry and we don't have clarity about where we're going so it feels like we're just kind of going around, going through the motions and not really with a clear direction. And that our identity is built around this level of protection that our decisions and choices are around protecting our reputation, protecting the money that we had, protecting, not trying to lose that relationship that we had and all this level of protection instead of expansion and growth. And so common internal narratives that happen through this root cause are things like I try but I always eventually fall off. I can try to do something new but I'm just inconsistent and it doesn't work for me. I'm good at starting but not at finishing. I'm not the kind of person who could do that or someday in the future when I have this much money or when things are less stressful or once I get married or whenever something happens then I'll wait till January 1st to do that thing that I know I should do but I'll wait six months until it's January 1st. Pushing something off that you know is right for you into a future date where it feels safer or more comfortable is another common internal narrative. And so a key insight here related to this is that whether we're limiting ourselves or it's fragmented that when the future isn't clear or it's being blocked by these limiting patterns the present has no direction. And so we don't even, a lot of times we don't even consciously realize how little direction we actually have. And so the common symptoms that people experience through this is that one would be and this is where people actually can feel the symptoms right. Most people are not able to consciously trace back the reason why. And so I just laid out the reason why these symptoms happen which is a fragmented or limiting narrative identity. And the symptoms that people experience that they will consciously recognize are things like lack of momentum. It feels more like we're drifting or we're kind of just like you know taking the scenic route when we really want to be moving with some momentum. It doesn't feel like we're moving forward. It doesn't feel like we have a clear direction of where we're going. In consistent motivation. We have bursts of effort and we feel good for a couple of days a week maybe but then it falls off. Procrastination is another one. I'll do it later or I'll do it way out in the future when something else happens and I feel safe or comfortable or ready before I'll do it. Selfed out comes up a lot in this in these symptoms. Passionate whether we can do it whether we can we can change it whether we're good enough or smart enough or capable enough or ready to be able to do it. And an internal narrative on our head telling us that we shouldn't or it's not safe or we're not ready. And then emotional flatness meaning that nothing feels compelling enough to commit that we on paper probably a lot of times everything looks great. But for some reason inside just nothing feels compelling nothing feels exciting and it we therefore we have no direction or choice. And so the connection here related to science is that research shows that future self-cononuity is linked to procrastination, impulsivity and short term thinking. Meaning that if we do not have full stable clarity in who we are where we've been and how much all those things that we've been have prepared us for where we're going a clear internal story about the past and a clear and stable picture of where we're going in the future and why that leads to things like impulsivity, short-term thinking, lack of clarity, procrastination, self-doubt, and other things like that. And so, when we experience these symptoms, the downstream outcomes of the symptoms of a weak narrative identity leads to things like under-achievement, being so talented and so capable and knowing that we are meant for more and we're ready for more and we can do more, but we consistently under-achieve our potential. Repeated resets that we try to do something new, we try, we think about starting our business and we go for it for a couple of weeks, but then we retreat and we go back to doing what we were doing before, we try to go to the gym or we try a new activity or we get excited to do something creative like painting or music or something like that, but it just starts strong and then it falls off that we feel a consistent level of plateaued growth. I know a lot of people can experience, I've experienced that for myself, I think almost everyone has experienced that at some point just feeling like we've plateaued and that is an outcome of this whole thing that we're talking about. Having dissatisfaction despite efforts or trying hard, but we have dissatisfaction around it, maybe we compare ourselves to others, see other people doing better, moving faster, it looks like they're feeling better, maybe we spend a lot of time on social media comparing our progress to other people and that leads to dissatisfaction or just the general feeling of, I know that I'm capable of more, I know that I can do this. However, the results and the behaviors that we're doing do not match that knowing. And so the key element here is that these outcomes are not an issue about motivation, it's not an issue about learning more either. It is that we we have a story with no clear ending and no clear next chapter. And so when we do not know, we don't have clarity on where we're going with the long-term vision we have in our life is, it's becomes fundamentally impossible to figure out what the next step is, right? Think about if you had a GPS and you didn't know where you were going, but you were driving your car down the highway. Would you get off in the next exit? Would you keep driving? Would you get off and turn around and go the other direction? If you don't know where you're going, the next step is not clear. And so a common misconception is that goals create direction and most people try to fix this level of not having a direction by setting goals or finding people to hold them accountable to doing certain behaviors, but the goals without a narrative do not hold, meaning that goals fail on their own because they do not change our beliefs about who we are. They do not resolve a level of internal conflict that we're pretending that we feel confident and capable, but deep down we doubt ourselves and they do not create emotional continuity that leads to sustainable high-value productive behaviors. And so the science grounding here is that goals motivate short-term action and that identity and narrative drive long-term persistence. And so when goals conflict with our identity, our identity wins. That is proven through science. And so if you have set goals before and then have had a little bit of a boost to get there, but then haven't continued to pursue that goal or have fallen off in some way, this science explains clearly why. And so goals are a destination, but stories are the vehicle and how we are going to get there and they are the instructions and the direction for how we're going to achieve that goal. And so the frequency training and the encoded frequency training system uses a core process to clarify, strengthen and stabilize our narrative identity in order to significantly reduce the symptoms caused by a fragmented or limited identity. And when we're able to shift these symptoms and we do not feel a level of self-doubt and we do not feel a level of lack of clarity and where we're going and who we are is clear, the decisions and behaviors how to get there begin to become basically automatic that our decisions align with the story that we tell ourselves about who we are and where we're going. And so the first mechanism is related to narrative awareness, which is simply put, becoming aware and seeing the story that you're currently running, that everybody is currently running a story that they tell themselves about what happened, who they are and where they're going. And so the encoded system through a process that we call frequency mapping helps people within a process of 45 to 90 minutes, surface and become aware of their default story. We call it a mirror. It is mirroring back to you the things that you may not be aware of but are running, running the story and are running the show. It helps to notice these repeating phrases and themes that we have about what happened or where we're going. And it begins to connect the dots to help us recognize how past events were interpreted and are now impacting our present and our future. And so why this works is that making the story visible reduces its unconscious control, we need to become aware of something before we can shift it. And that awareness weakens these automatic loops that just being aware of it is a huge first step. And so the science related to this, we've gone deep on meta-cognitive awareness and it continues to show up here, which is that meta-cognitive awareness reduces identity, rigidity. As we start to see it, we realize this isn't who I am. This is just who I believe I am right now and I am powered and I am capable of shifting it whenever I want. And the result is feeling less self-judgment, more self-trust, and more overall choice and empowerment in how we interpret the past and how we move forward in the future. And so you can't rewrite a story until you're able to see the story that exists right now. The second mechanism is known as future self-clarification. We go through a process every 30 to 60 days that continuously clarifies, updates, improves, expands, shifts, the clarification around who we are and where we're going. And so we train this clarity at first gain this clarity through a process we call frequency mapping that happens on an ongoing basis. And then we train this clarity through a daily repetitive action that is both known from clarity of self and from what we call encoded certainties, which is future self-narratives of who we're becoming, why we're doing certain things, what motivates us to do it, how that person thinks, how they decide, how they act, and what behaviors will no longer tolerate. And so through that process, science shows that neuro-imaging research shows people treat their future self like another person when the connection is weak, meaning that when the connection isn't weak to our future selves, we don't even feel like it's us. And that strengthening our future self continuity through a process of frequency training increases long-term decision quality. When we know where we're going, our decisions begin to align with it and the quality improves. And so the result through this level of clarification is that we have more patience, we make better long-term choices, we have reduced impulsivity, and we have more self-trust. And so the clearer our future self is, the easier the choices today become. The third mechanism is known as reframing the past. We call it rewriting the story. And so the point here is that we are not erasing the past. We are shifting the story that we tell ourselves about what happened and what it means to us. And so through this process, we update the meaning that we assign to what happened. We remove identity-level confusion that because that happened, it's who we are and that's who we are and that we are able to shift that story into an empowering way that empowers us to move forward. And so why this matters is that when we do this process, that past events stop defining our capacity, it stops limiting our potential, it slows down or it stops emotional responses, looping thoughts, tons of ways that we are limiting ourselves without even consciously realizing it. And that a past quote unquote "failure" or something that we might perceive that way stops predicting and running the present in the future. And so the science related to this is that narrative reframing improves psychological flexibility and resilience. Through that process we create more resilience, we create more flexibility. And the result is that we feel less shame, guilt, looping thoughts, we have more openness to growth, we realize that how many amazing things happened because of the things that happened in the past. And as we begin to develop this skill, right, reframing the past and rewriting a story is a skill like learning how to read, how to use the internet or driving a car. At the beginning we look at the past and we have to try hard to find all of the amazing things that happened through getting fired, through having to do that layoff from our business declining for a year, from that relationship not working out, that we, that takes some effort to find all of the amazing things that happened through it. But trust me, if you look, you will realize that a bunch of things that would have never happened outcome from those situations. And that as we develop this skill, it starts to happen in real time, that we can see because of how this skill has been developed, that we can see how everything in the present is working for us, even if we used to or we would have once considered a challenge. And it fundamentally changes our emotional experience, our agency, our self-trust, our ability to move forward, our emotional regulation, it improves our relationships, there are so many benefits to developing this skill. And the fourth mechanism, it's a repeating mechanism where you go deep on it in the following episode is known as repetition and stabilization. And so encoded reinforces this updated, clarified, vision and narrative of who you are, where you've been, and where you're going through a daily handwriting process that rewires motor neurons. We use consistent language, repeat alignment, intentional reasons why we're doing it. So we align our intentions to it as well. And why this matters is that without this level of repetition, the story doesn't stick or it doesn't last. And new narratives require this level of repetition through neuroplasticity to fully stabilize. And as we stabilize this in our mind and our emotion shift, and we begin to reinforce this loop through interruptive or micro actions, we begin to believe it more and the loop begins to spin and over time it becomes a more preferred, more, it becomes to integrate into who we are. And so there's plenty of science around this related to neuroplasticity and narrative identity research. And the result is that we have coherence in who we are, where we've been, where we're going, why we're doing it, that we can do it, and that we can trust ourselves, that all of those things are moving in the same direction. That is what creates momentum, that we have direction, we know where we're going, and we feel clear about it and we don't need to force, we don't need to over effort, we don't need to burn out in order to move in the direction that we want to go, and that we have dramatically reduced or fully eliminated internal conflict that this level of self-talk, that we can't do it, that we're not good enough, that it's too soon, that we should wait until we're more ready here, we should go read another book before we do it, or any of this level of symptoms created by internal conflict are reduced or fully eliminated. And so what it feels like, when we have a coherent, stable, clear identity narrative, is that decisions feel directional and clear, that we receive something that's not important okay, that's important, this is the decision that we're going to make to it. The ability to receive information, receive options, receive opportunities, things like that, and be able to make a decision and go becomes fundamentally way, way more clear. That our effort, when we are doing something, it feels purposeful, we know why we're doing it, that it doesn't feel so draining and effortful, we have a purpose around it, that set backs, like missing the gym one day, or having a down month in our business, or something like that, these levels of setbacks don't derail the story and our identity. Our motivation becomes steady and intrinsic, that we are motivated by the story that we tell ourselves about where we're going, why we're doing it, who we're going to do it with, why it matters to us. And then our confidence feels grounded, and our life feels like it's going somewhere. And as all those things begin to come into place, momentum happens because decisions happen faster, there's more self trust, and the snowball effect happens, we shorten the time between when we have an opportunity, and when we make a decision and we take action, and as that time gets shorter, the cycles between our action happen and way more momentum happens. And so the big idea here is that we don't need a better plan, we don't need to get in a group with 12 people that text each other every morning to be accountable, we don't need to take another course or something like that, what we need is to build a story that moves us forward and that we feel clear, that we feel like it's us, and also knowing that this as we build the skill, that the story that we tell ourselves about who we are, where we've been, and where we're going, we can continuously rewrite it, just because we decided to be a doctor 20 years ago, doesn't mean that we can't rewrite our story right now, as we build it, that we can continue to shift, we can continue to build a future story that aligns with who we are now, and a big part of that, adding code is running through the frequency training cycle, and getting more clarity and more updates to our future narrative every 30 to 60 days, and I've been doing this process for four years, every 30 to 60 days, and the possibilities and the clarity and what's important to me and where I'm going, all these things, can shift, and as you build the skill, you invite the shifts, you invite the ability to evolve and to go in a direction that feels right for you and all those things, it's amazing, it's amazing that we can all do that. And so when our internal story changes, our behavior begins to align to it, follows it and as research has shown, over time it begins to become semi-automatic that our decisions align to the story we tell ourselves about where we're going, and that when that behavior follows our self-trust grows and our self-ethicacy grows, and when our self-trust grows, this momentum begins to feel natural, it begins to feel powerful, it begins to feel exciting, it's a really, amazing thing. And so by building stability and clarity on this future story, it creates so much empowerment, and a big thing is that we can't just write the story once and then move on. This level of repetition that we covered in mechanism four is critically important for the story to hold and as we continue to update the story, we use this level of neuroplasticity and everything rewires in that direction. And so I'd invite you, if you'd like to give it a try, to write out the story that you're telling yourself right now about what happened to the past that got you to hear and where your life is going and what story that would be, and to just become consciously aware that this is the story that I'm telling myself right now, it is not an aspiration, it is not a vision, it is this is the story that I'm telling myself right now. And particularly within the past, I've noticed that whether you're, you know, just graduated college, whether you're 45-year-olds and you have three children and you have a big business, has nothing to do with. How successful you are, how much money you make, or how old you are, anything like that, that the story that we tell ourselves about our past can be incredibly limiting and cause tons of emotional suffering for absolutely no reason. And so we all have the capability to be able to look back and to be able to rewrite the story that we tell ourselves about it and it is wildly powerful. And as we do that, the future becomes more clear, the momentum builds and it does like many parts of the encoded process and frequency training. It feels like we're just getting weight off of us and we can just move faster. And that is the truth. I know many people will not be able to consciously understand it right now, but the truth is that you are already built to go fast. You are built to do amazing things. You are totally talented and capable. Everybody is. The thing is that we are carrying all this weight around us, the lack of clarity, the stories that we tell ourselves, the conditioning and programming we foresee from others or influencers or social media or the news, the stories that we tell ourselves about the past, about what we did, about where we messed up, the emotions that we carry that are unresolved and our inability to regulate with them. Those are the things that actually hold us back. And when we remove these weights, we see how capable and how much potential we realize we really have. And so I'm inviting you to consider that possibility for yourself. I know for a fact that it is true for everyone, 100% of people, including myself and as I begin to see it more and more in myself, I feel so compelled to share with everyone because for 32, the first 32 years of my life, I was not aware of this. I did not realize how much weight I was really carrying and how much it was slowing me down. And I hope that some people experience a light bulb as I go through this. Everyone will feel the light bulb at the time that is right for them. But maybe this is the right time for you. Maybe this is the time that you realize I'm so capable. I'm so ready. I can do this. I'm built for this and the thing is that I'm just carrying all this stuff with me and I need to let go of this stuff. And so I'm excited to be able to share this with you. Narrative identity building is so powerful. I see many stories of people that say they can speak things into existence and speaking just from neuroplasticity reasons is less effective than handwriting. However, if you have coherent instability in that, it is true. As you speak things and you build that neuroplasticity, your decisions align to it and you start to move in that direction almost automatically. And so super powerful stuff. I hope there are some insights. I hope there are some breakthroughs. We are coming back for the final episode of this series. I'm excited to share with you and we'll catch you for the next one.