Naming Your Car! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

It's a summertime gang and the boys are coming to your hometown. We're talking about Portland main Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Cleveland, Ohio grab the squad. Let's all hang out Play a little away. G some stand-up comedy. It's gonna be a fun fun time Yeah, then the boys are headed to Atlantic City, baby down there on a boardwalk king and a board returns this out Jersey Philadelphia people Jersey people get your tickets to Atlantic City also Denver Colorado those tickets are so very fast Those will sell out get them will be there in July. Love you. I mean it. Bye. Let's go Hey Everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage Oh, yeah, so a little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a great to be classy Just a big old piece of trash garbage. I'm your host a trolley coming at you on a beautiful day We're out back here at Toddy's in the new addition summertime. Mm-hmm. Maybe not officially, okay, but it's summertime All right, you know, I know that why because the nairs been brought out. Okay, but all cleaned up on you or her What I don't know how do you know that it's pulled been cleaned up. She told me okay, put the hair all over the bathroom I don't know what you guys are talking about when it looks like Sasquatch got caught in there I caught in a glue trap in the bathroom and she's out back. Uh-huh and that leopard bikini. She got in 1983 I got to be honest. It sounds like you got a bit of a thing for Anthony. What are you talking about? I don't know I'm painting a picture for the audience. Yeah, I think slipping out of your seat over there I'm not saying she wasn't something back in the day. That's a quarter off that thing Man, you catch her at limelight back in the 80s. I think you like her Bit of a thing for anyway, she's sunbathing outside great My cousin coming in from across the tables. We call the family episode ladies and gentlemen Just to boys to bozos and the homies just the way we like it. Yes, he is my best pal in the whole wide world. What? Bit of international business man, huh? Yeah CEO, are you garbage? Ah, no, I see a fo I don't know if I think that my thing my on the documents my title is president. Is it think so? Wait really what what am I? VP I don't think you have a title title partner partner Yeah, you like that. Don't yeah I can only take pictures back to back Kevin Ryan is here. What up gang shout out to you as always please make sure you're right where you subscribe on iTunes full video Available YouTube full video available there over there on Spotify and a boys are climbing to charge Wait, let me check that Yes, we are. Oh And then obviously the greatest website of all time WW that patreon.com. So I show you garbage go over there You know that frickin bonus content can you might be saying I don't know what bonus content is get over there and frickin find out and you get the camaraderie of 15,000 homies like mind it dirt balls just like yourself You've been looking for a family looking for people like yourself your whole life You'll find it over there on a patreon at the RU garbage page. I just said this you were in the bathroom I was a second time you said that today what before you were like you were in the bathroom or something I wasn't in the bathroom that time you were talking Earlier now you said I don't even know what we're referencing. What do you mean you said what you said last night? You're having a conversation with somebody and you were like you were in the bathroom I said you might have left or maybe you were in the bathroom. Yeah, why do you take offense? I you put me in the bathroom your dog first of all I was in the bathroom here now for how I'm getting over me and sick Okay, so last night you couldn't have been in the bathroom as well Why why you get real defensive over whether or not? No, I've never heard anybody I'm flunking off somewhere. All right. You were getting cotton candy or something I was probably doing push sounds like a bit of a guilty conscience if we're being honest with you I got yeah, I don't you weren't there right who knows what the fuck you were the best thing is you were probably taking it Do so that's the best thing I can hope for who knows what you do and I'm gonna and I can't have an eye on you man I'd like to know what you think I do I've honestly I've had to stop thinking about what I think you do I've had to I've had to you know What does Trump say I wish him the best? I wasn't I wish him well. Yeah, I wish him well And then I go watch his drive. Yeah Yeah, I don't know you know who knows what? I didn't the past sure I understand I don't know what Luke does when I leave here. I have a pretty good picture You I'm not sure these will I know marked the shark these will make sausages at the house Luke pulls tubes at the house rip in bingers All that aside though, we said like mind to people. I'm very shocked Let me take a minute to address the army of garbage right here I said this while you were taking a duke in the bathroom. It was not Yeah, you were why are you did not I made a big mistake I tried to make my own Manhattan special with the orange flavored La Croix and coffee stinks What's a man hat and special like a soda coffee soda? Is that a thing? Yeah, okay popular? Okay, I've never heard of it. I'm hanging I tell you Okay, this is bad. I feel like I've made arsenic I can only hope I like that, wouldn't you but I was saying while you were in the bathroom. You were doing something I don't know. Yeah, I don't like this. I see a pattern for me as you in the bathroom a lot No, you're gonna be starting telling me that I think Foli was in the bath You're gonna start making me look like a dunce key in front of people every time something important happens I'm gonna ban them 9/11 in the bathroom JFK in the bathroom I'm missing everything. That's like you're like the farthest gum. You miss all like the huge moments of history because you're in the bed You walk out whoo What happened? Yeah, what I missed Feds are running behind you like that. It's a black and white Hey, you're on a telepaper in there All right, a pressing issue. Go ahead. What do you got addressed the floors yours? Thank you. Listen up dirt balls. I am shocked This is I mean, I'll also is coming out. We had the AYG and friends a few nights ago I'm about that. I'm yes, Luke. How about that? How about that? Very nice. How about that? Something else I'm and obviously this is a manhattan We're in Manhattan a little more swankier little upper echelon a little bit of I was shocked at the amount of classy people Who I mean at least a peer classy that are fans of the Show mm-hmm. I just just walk I was walking here parked the car walking here with Hansy Ponzi Beautiful girl gets walking out of a cool coffee place. Would you say beautiful girl a beautiful girl? I was quoting you. Thank you. Uh-huh Attractive young lady attractive young lady younger than you know me or you sure probably Luke sage young somebody Luke would hang out with Walks out dressed well going to her job or something something, you know meanwhile hot pods is pooping I don't have a fucking I don't have a poop bag. That's that's where I'm at. If one sneaker on She puts changing my coffee cup and she goes huge fan of the pod and I just it's like nice to see The garbage that I don't think people are garbage necessarily least ghost are following her. Oh, you go My friends in a bedroom. Yeah, folks up in a bathroom. I get a fool of himself. Yeah, no, it's just very I'm always shocked when you see some people obviously people are better themselves Maybe you don't know what she came from you don't know what she is really, but it's just uh You were mentioning the 15,000 strong in the community the community is deeper and stronger than I've ever Anticipated or really thought in diverse and I've multi-cold but with one commonality we are all garbage And there's just nice. Yes, it's very nice Popular program as you say it is so kids jocks. I don't think kids. I got the demographic kids. I mean kids. Yeah, okay, younger I can use a bathroom But all that being said if you're new to high school kids are high school kids that watch this though I'm sure I just seen a couple of the bagel shop couple of kids that were cut in school trying to go at the Long Beach To go surfing, but they can't because the the L.I. Double R's down. Yeah As it go to Coney Island I'm like, yeah, I can't surf out there. I was like, yeah, you tell me bro. Did you have what okay? What I don't see you start this shit. I didn't say what I don't know. I'm sorry It's not every day. You tell me you're talking to surf and teenagers. You gotta give me you gotta You gotta let me pry a little bit wasn't the beach boys. I mean I don't bump into surf and teenagers that often right? They're like their boards on them and shit like that. Okay. There's a couple of their kids hanging out. They're three high school kids school Cut in class. That's right I respect that me too. You see that in New York and it makes you think you're going to fuck her. Where are your parents? What are you working? Yeah, bad-ass little kids running around fucking you never cut class Smoking dope. I tried one time and I grabbed my car around a telephone pole. You never cut school never again Wait really? I tried in 10th grade. I was 16 we were going to we were cut in school We had beers and we're gonna get drunk and go to races the flea market shout out races every Tuesday and Saturday You're gonna go you know, we had heaters. You're gonna go get like a oh your Chinese star needs. Yeah butterfly knives Whatever cool chucks. Yeah, probably a bowl or something. Titty pens cool good shit and I skipped school. I was I Rat my I wrapped my first lumen around a telephone pole in my neighborhood. Hmm, and Drunk now now. I see now speedon sneezed Really yeah, wow. Yeah, I was turning Right, I was whipping work as the kid said now. I'm driving the bus. I'm turning And I I sneezed and when I came up I hadn't gone all the way back And I pull was staring down the barrel. They really wrapped it around it. There's such as I know I could have touched it Like I wish it fucking just crunch right up the middle that airbag went off those old school air bags hit you Like I'll finally let off a fucking bottle rocket in that thing. Dan. He never cuts school cuts school all the time I was I also My I mean, you know a little bit of a broken home my mom would go to work and I would just go Hey, she would be at work a lot when I left When I was supposed to go to school. I'm not going. I'm sick. I'm not going today. Okay, what's going school? Yeah But the one yeah when I tried to like well bowls of cereal later that in my dad. I've got that I'm sick or whatever You know, but never like I tried at 16 and it fucking ended terribly I had to fucking now fucking Irish Catholic, you know I was God telling me go to class and I listen To our mighty father you had a command of the fucking woo hard lab to get out of fucking going to school with patty Now we nobody vicious nobody cared vicious My nieces and nephews are like oh like we talked about like I was gonna vacation like what the kids have school I'm like fucking who what do we talk with school? Yeah? Hey come out for the right. Yeah, I always hate it Don't fucking matter. I always hate it those kids. It's not the 20s dude. They're learning on I disagree. I hate it those kids You know, I bet did that too Yeah, Luke went to fucking a shadow or something get more experience that way Sure, I get what the fuck are they were they're gonna read a fucking dingy textbook? Get fuck out of here get out there be go to poke news and you at great wolf lodge and you would be able to Collect your studies and get all your work done before you left or whatever got to learn how to drink around the world somehow Yeah, yeah, that's an experience my parents and I mean we do Maybe they should have a little bit you'll be a little more culture wouldn't be the bathroom so much I don't make a deal about it now You go back to school. I should go back to school. I said that we should enroll you in I mean We tried to enroll you in college and you said it was julio or nothing. I believe it was what it was Yeah, you guys are supposed to do a creative writing course. Yeah Okay, you're gonna move on from that but different a little bit You and most people but all that's neither here nor there gang We got a gosh darn family episode on her hand as you guys know when you join the old patreon We will answer your garbage question on the bear. It's right. I mean, we got one two tree humbangers around here. I like that This is just a good one. This is from Marty also great trashy name shout out Marty Marty I always think of big Marty's carpet in Philadelphia, which I think you said you didn't know but big Marty's carpet was big Yeah, Marty's a good guy Just Marty in general, you know Marty obviously Marty be fly. I don't think I ever knew a Marty never knew a Marty My first my second car was named martin because I got it from martin Honda mm-hmm I don't think it's a person. Yeah, it is Your car wasn't named I mean I said I never knew a Marty and you're you said my car was I knew mart you're yeah martin okay Yeah, it's not the guy I know I don't know I didn't know no I'm saying there's a guy named marty martin that ran the dealership Not fucking the cars a person. I thought you did I'd say spider. Did you name the car Marty? No, it's thought of martin It was formal. Hey mister, my mister Yeah, I never know a mart. It's an older name. I feel it was just a little sure you ever know a Henry Now, huh, plenty of Kevin's around. Yeah Last place is lousy with Kevin's Like mosquitoes on summer night. No Henry's Henry's coming back now. Henry's a big name Yeah, we were looking for the baby Henry's a big name. I you know that's is that bother you? Or does that make is that make you proud? It's flattering. I would say you know Appreciate it flattering house, so but you go by H no one knows your name's Henry. I know people think it's Herman Could it be could be I've never seen anything to prove I mean when Irishman you know name Herman. I don't know when Irishman name H either. That's right Italian and you know, I get it. It's it's it's things are cyclical like that These are always watching fallen in America. Yeah, yeah, same fucking rats. It used to make fun of me and fucking Elementary school now calling their kids Henry bitch Talk to that therapist about let him go. I It's talking to him today. I know If I can drop the bomb on me right before we press record. I just I thought I said something nice to you. I know Yeah, I can't win with these here. We go the the guy who I always says I can't win It's typically at fault. I can't fucking win with them. I never catch a fucking break Sounds like something to step that I can't fucking win with these kids. My dad was the king I can't catch a fucking break. I remember I remember saying it at like 16 and someone looking at me like what? I can't catch a fucking break point at the windshield I can't catch a fucking break. I said chili fries. I remember I was getting I remember one time I screamed at the most of my buddy was in the car next to me and My I was I was getting ready to move to New York I was selling I was getting the Montego ready to sell Class and I don't Vinnie with the skinny was gonna sell that for me He had a prime piece of real estate was going to park it there put it for sales side it never happened But I was getting ready to sell it as a cuz I was like in my head. That was gonna be like eight grand eight grand you thought you're gonna go for it at the time maybe Six I take five Again, so what do you got on? No, I was trying to that was gonna be my big cash windfall, right? You know what I mean of course that still be pretty good You'd be still floating off that uh-huh and uh, man Imagine how quick I would have blown that when I moved to New York. We're gonna cool couple of months though Automate balls the I can see doggie. You ain't lying. You'd have been taking cabs and shit Eventually would have get what a evened itself out sure, but that was there was no way I'm telling my cousin this I was like listen stop like Trying to prepare for this. I'm like if you want to take a step into this except the fact that you were going to be fucking poor Yeah, and it is going to fucking suck. That's a guy still talking to himself Even if you get money, you're gonna blow as I'm taking money out of his wallet. I'll be a good kid Yeah, you gotta just live in the sense of like it's never gonna work out But you have to believe it's gonna work out at the same time. It's kind of weird. You really got to be crazy to make it You're really got to be dumb as a rocks and fucking young dumb and full of gum. What? But my windshield's cracked like two days before I was getting ready to polish it up and win I literally remember who are you? Yeah, I was just like not you ain't gonna catch a break with that attitude Playing out in the universe. You ever get caught. You ever get caught with that somebody else now. What the fuck you? But catch a break you fucking. Yeah You're healthy. I just what I've tried to say this the only thing I know about how to be a dad is to like come home and complain about Construction work even doing that. That's all I know. That's like what a pretty crazy what a dad does is comes home Like the electrician of fucking parmits and breaking my bowl like you know That's all I know what a dad is comes home and you go how is work and they dump all of The job site politics on you and you know and or what GC's aren't paying Okay, submit it my invoicing fucking January. Don't wait on January I had a little little glass of Scotch or something. Yeah, Mika Loeb cores light. Yeah, they were both of both my parental favor beer drinkers Can't let's say about hex class shot at the hex clan. You don't know hex club. Do you best best best pans in the world? I was like I got I would I bought hex club before they were a sponsor. That's how much I like hex club. Stay to the art technology Am I right I believe so you know it makes you think of what's that it's springtime going into the summer Yeah, a lot of people they change the storm windows. They put the screens in they clean up the closets They clean out this they clean up that you know what you don't do enough Get rid of the old pans. Get rid of those old Teflon bad-friest scratched up pans and get yourself a set of hex clads get fresh get ready You feel good cooking with them. Mm-hmm do yourself a favor. We don't lie. Hex clad, baby. Yeah, this is a great thing If your pan makes cooking harder instead of easier So many pans I had before I got hex clad that was I would just call all the eggs are sticking this the dad It's messy. It's makes cleaning up. He's dude you couldn't get super goo to stick to this stuff saying that jokingly obviously They have over one million customers and over 50,000 five star reviews the secret is out baby There's a reason Gordon Ramsey uses hex clad at home and in his restaurants They are and he's the toughest critic on the planet Don't go through another spring using the same busted ass pans. You should have thrown out years ago I added this for a limited time only our listeners get 10% off your order with our exclusive link Just head to hex clad.com slash garbage Support the show and check out hex clad.com H-E-X-C-L-A-D dot com forward slash garbage Make sure to let him know the boy sent you a spring clean your kitchen a smart way with hex clad. Do we? Kip, I want to talk about Shopify. Shopify. Shopify. Now, you know, I don't handle much of the business ends of stuff. What? but I gotta tell ya, I love that Shopify. It's, I understand that it's easy for me gang. 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Shopify.com/gorbage. - Do it. - Do it. - If I got you a briefcase, would you use it? - No, I kinda have one, Luke kinda made fun of it, so I didn't really, I-- - Have you ever seen it? - Is that like your-- - Attaché? - Yeah. - What? - I've never seen this. - I used it once. I took it to SoulJoles. And Luke was like, "Yeah." - I arrived separately at SoulJoles. - I ever call. - What does it look like? - It's just like a satch, it's like a laptop bag. Remember the old like, it's like an over-the-shoulder lap. - You get the Postman with Kevin Costner? - You got a laptop? - No, but you get a satchel. - You're not a satch, like, well, you would put a imagine like a laptop, like a soft briefcase. - Like my army bag, my army bag that I used to have? - Uh-huh. - Like that? No, it's like a fucking-- - Get my grenades in there. (laughing) - I don't think an old-school briefcase, like a briefcase. - I don't wanna carry a briefcase. I don't wanna have to carry a bag. - I don't wanna have to carry a briefcase. - Throw it down, it's falling, it's a rrrrrrr. - Loosen your tie. - Get the wife a kiss smack on the butt. - Uh-huh. - Well, we're small to beans. - Uh-huh, is that how you think life is? That's crazy. (laughing) - That's how happy people think life is. (laughing) - Yeah, that's, yeah. It's, um, I do have a little bit of a version of that. I come home from the old fucking content factory here. Fight fucking traffic, breaking my balls, I get in. She's like, can you stop being get diapers? I said, I just bought diapers. - Really? - Yeah. - You get that? - What, on the way home? - Can I stop and get diapers? And I said, yeah, it doesn't bother me. - Would that bother you? I think it, see, there's a thing. - No, not my, not diapers. - That's, I mean, your first reaction seems like a bother. - Oh, what the fuck, she been doing all day? - Oh, that's crazy. - You are such a piece of shit, dude. It's crazy. It's wild. - I don't even fucking diapers. - There's also a thing you wanna help. - No, I understand. - I don't think you do. (laughing) I think you understand that I'm talking to you. I don't think you're fucking. - Yeah, uh-huh. - No, diapers, of course. - Yeah, but I'm happy if I get out of the car, and go, hey, do you, you know, do we need anything? - I've gotten hit with, like, can you grab a laundry detergent or something? - What? You are. - Yeah, I'm the problem. - For sure. - Yeah, that's a solution. (laughing) - Yeah, that's something you do. Right? I mean, you gotta give me a little back obvious. - Yeah, right. - I mean, somebody could've taken you stop at the store. - You're out. - Put it if he was like, nah, fuck, that shit, dog. No, you know what, I'll get fabric softener, I got you. - Why? - Bullshit. (laughing) - It's all parapins or whatever they're called. - Is that the stuff that goes in? - Huh? - What's the liquid fabric softener? - I don't fuck with that. I mean, there's liquid fat. Most of the, I only know it as liquid. - That goes in the washer. - Really? - Yeah, that goes in the washer. - Dryer sheets. - No, that's in the dryer. - That's fabric softener. - No, it's not. - It's anti-wrinkle technically, but. - No, no, no. - I think it's called fabric softener. - It's fabric, yeah. - What's fabric softener? - The dryer sheets. - Yeah, that's the fabric softener. - I think you can do either one. - I don't fuck with that shit in the washer machine. - No, it looks like milk, wool-like, or whatever the fuck that shit looks. - No, wool-like, it's different, whatever. - It's a gentle cleanser for your unmentionables. - Your panties, your night negligent. - Okay, I got you. - All right. - The hot chicks were put in the, they soaking in their bathroom sink. - The dryer sheets are fabric softener. - Yeah. - Thank you. - I never knew, like cotton, that was no. What's the one with the snuggly bear? I didn't cotton out, right? - No, that's toilet paper. - Snuggles. - Snugg, yeah, but that wasn't the name. Was it snuggles? - Yeah. - That was the guy's name. - No. - That's no fabric softener, yeah. - The brand, yeah, that's fab. - Was it snuggles? - Yeah, yeah. - It never had that. - No, I don't use dry hair. - Never had Mr. Bubbles either. - You ever get Mr. Bubbles, the bubble bath? - Maybe, like, we would like soap, you know, put some dial in there. - Shit, you know. - You gotta fucking really wish your hand around. - We never got that. We never got magic shell. - I don't know what that is, we had magic shell. - Oh, is that the thing that did Hardens? - Nah, you'd have to fucking, I don't know what you'd have to do to defer Denise to Shell over the extra five, nine, ten, ten, ten. - That shit blew my fucking mind. - Or hot fudge, never got hot fudge. Get her, she's so, which I appreciate. But, you know. - My Nana had a hot fudge recipe. - Really? - Yeah. - Kind of strange, yeah. My mom would put it in the Mason jars and we'd always have it on deck. - That's wild, dude. - You gotta be from old money for shit like that. - Dude, Mason jar, I didn't know what it meant. I didn't know what a Mason jar was for, like, the longer. - That was for Bloody Mary's. (laughing) - I didn't know what, I didn't know. We didn't know what the fuck that was. - No shit. - I love hot fudge. - I love my Nana's recipe. - Wow. - Should we get some of your mom making? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll bring some home. - Hit me up, Mrs. Demps. - He done. - Pretty good. - What did your friends call your mom growing up? - Mrs. Dempsie. - Yeah. - So I hated the friend who pushed, like, like, you can use their first name and I don't have anybody. - I still, even like my girlfriend's parents, they're like, call me by my first name. I'm like, no. Mr. and Mrs. - Yeah, I don't call my inlaw. - Yeah. - Good kid. - You don't call your inlaw's what? - By their first name. - What do you say, Mr. and Mrs. whatever? - I don't know what I say. - What do you call him grandma grandpa or something? - Now, yeah. - Or mom and dad, that's like a shit. - Hey mom, dad. You know what else I don't like? I don't know, you don't do, but like, I feel like I'd be with like my uncle and he would bump into a friend of his from the neighborhood or something and they'd be like, yeah, well, you know, we put pop in a home, like, they were like, not, we had to put my dad in it. Like, they just referred him at, there was no assignment of what's that? - Yeah, but it's your marriage. - It's your marriage to somebody for like 45 years, you know? - I don't know. - Still the inlaws. - They call my, my brother-in-law for the longest time, didn't know what to call my mom up until like, very recent. - Hey chief. - So he would wait until like, to make a contact with her. He's like, Denise didn't feel right. Mom doesn't feel right. - No. - So they call her Nisi mom. - Nisi mom. - Yeah. - My wife's mom, I called her mom of her name. - Uh-huh. - But that was like more like a cutie kind of thing. - Sure. - But never growing up. - Now. - No, even like now like Pat's dad, I don't call it, it's like. - Call him Mr. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Mr. and Mrs. whatever. - Yeah, it's good. - Nobody. - Kids now they don't do that. - No. - Hi Belinda. - That's fucking nuts. - Shut the shit out of you. - I was telling ya, these kids are drinking at a very young age now, and it's like very, I think. - I know it is. - Most of them are all bitched up. - It's very, and it's very like. - It's European almost. - The parents are like, okay, I'll get you a six pack of white call or what, and it's like. - They also all talked about too much shit in front of their kids. - Well, it's like, think about it's like, it's a way, significantly different generation of people. It's like us. You know what I mean? Like, think about like when fucking little Kieberino grows up, even at like seven, he's gonna be able to see hundreds of hours of content of me being a dickhead, you know? - If you let him. - I hope they'll find it. My nieces and nephews find it. - They do. - Yeah. - They start asking questions. - Um, you know, how much does he weigh? - No. - Where are his, where are his teeth? - No. - Uh-uh. - Oh, brats. (laughs) - See if they found what you look at that. - No, the one did say he does always play a fat guy in stuff. The one has seen you in a couple of things. I think he was watching Manifest or Gotham. - Are you fucking with me? - No, I swear to God. - How much does he think? - That's always nice to me. - Why am I, why am I fat? Well, of course I'm gonna play a fat guy. I'm gonna fucking gain a loose weight for a fucking day player role. - No, that's not how it's supposed to work. - I get to back to school, all right? - Don't fucking watch in his old TV shit. - Fuck, yeah, Netflix or something. - Yeah, it's six months in a training to get ready for that kind of stuff. I could do that shit. - Fucking the next Iron Man. - No, but they're drinking at a young eight like, and they're like, oh yeah, hey, we're going, so like drop me a fucking wild shit. I'm seeing this from my periphery, you know, my periphery. - Drop me off in the woods and the parents will drop their kids off with like six packs and shit. - I heard that too. - Which like does not fly, did not fly when we were kid. And I was talking to my brother about my politic now. You got a fucking sneak. There has to be some sort of fuck. I don't, he's like, I don't like. Don't care if you're drinking, but like you're not gonna fucking you still have to fucking try and hide it from me And if I if I catch you, I'm going to be upset, but like you're not just fucking Your brother seems like your brother seems like the kind of guy that would be pretty hard To sneak that by I mean how does he not know every true? That's what I do I was thought I'd be such a good cop. I'd be like I'd be fuck what I'd be sniping every I've broken every wall in the book But that would be especially underage kids just anything. I also don't know you guys don't over there Dude will be at like the fucking pub and there'll be it'll be fucking 2 a.m. Last call There'll be 25 cars out front. I'm like how the cops just not I go what do you think they're all in there in for the wings? It's too a kitchen clothes the midnight dick What do we do? I just don't understand You don't get it pull out of a bar and there's the one cop across the street all the duty talk about nervous I would how did I let so many people go ahead of me fucking. Hey, I want to send them to the gofer, dude Get out of here. Yeah, I'm supposed that just like yeah, you go and left the heart. Oh fucking I call in a fucking tip on them too Hey, Stevie and the Buick's a little if I add to two three spritzers No, yeah, I didn't that was never I never understood. I thought I'd be that's why I thought I'd be such a good cop Fucking little Kip Reno's gonna have to get up pretty early in the morning to try to fool me I guess you just stop caring at some point. I don't fucking know. Yeah That's too much. They're creating like a generation of marks It was kind of changing with my generation, but now it's like the parents are buying the fake IDs for kids They're taking the picture. It's like really? Yeah, it's crazy. Well, oh my head Denise take my picture for my fake. I was 20 I was in cop mall we were a very big you know you were doing I told her Vinnie I told her Vinnie wasn't for a dating website I don't or Vinnie was making an end to end of the school year powerpoint in the Front of a white back. She knew my my says like this is for a fake ID. We were a very big get to college If you could get to college, mm-hmm It was all like you could start drinking at a family party or whatever, you know what I mean? Mm-hmm That was that was what it was The laws were looser when we were kids when we were kids You know, if you got caught at a party underage drinking unless the cop was a real fucking dickhead Or you you know, there was fucking I don't know weed or something like that there or something harder You know, they give you a misdemeanor And then it got like things got real strict Like maybe like around your grades or whatever and now if the parents are loosing up again. It's not a good thing Like what do you mean they're making marks? They don't have to work for it. Yeah, like no one understands like how to buy weed anymore. No one it's like Oh, I could steal my parents edibles like yeah, it's just like everything they're gonna buy the white claws for you So you don't get in trouble at the liquor store figuring it out on your own, but there's then there's gonna be a correction of that Because then I mean the next generation screw it. Yeah, I mean the parents never had to learn how to sneak around anything Be buying their kids H. Yeah, you know, I mean Need that in future generations. Oh, that's what we're gonna need. Yeah, no, I can operate it. I mean guerrilla tactics At a certain point I believe yeah, I mean, I don't think it's a kid having their mom buy white claws for him that kid ain't a fucking operator I told pansy is bitch left that kid around no, yeah, but we'd be more on that speed what Operators. Yeah, we're gonna have a geriatric delta force. Yeah, it's all the old operators I want to write you out to the Chinese Go for it. I can take his own. I got that picture it. Give him my address the county Ponzi on them Bullies we gotta get their family episode on hands all this fucking beat the middle of the question buzz. I yeah I don't even think I got there. You did no, we got to Marty and then we fucking Marty I never got to the party you shout out the big Marty's carpet. Thank you. Shout out to Martin. I hand to a cord Wait is the I don't know what do you want for me? Is the car's name Martin the car's name was Okay, we used to name our cars and sometimes the name would come from wherever we got it like Martin Ford got you and if it had the had the thing on it I'd be like oh Martin. That's a cool or Murray. Murray up. Yeah, Murray Ford Murray Dodge Murray Dodge. Yeah, I had a Dodge Dodge 600 turbo It whistled when you drove in a front one up Weird sounds like it's a beat boot 600 turbo. I think I put the ball to both down. It was you get on the highway turbos It was a sedan too It was a two-door sedan What Well, isn't that an oxy moron? Yeah, cuz I thought a two-door was a coupe. No, no, it was like a it was one It was like a look it like a was a like a box car like a look at a Cadillac I don't think it was a two-door it did like a crisis 300 look like a Bentley Google Dodge 600 turbo to a real term 1986 what that two-door sedan is a two-door passenger car built on the same chassis chassis and interior Proportions as a four-door and I was reaching on that. Oh, I got you. Can I see it? Yeah, I got you. Yeah, that's Murray. I think thanks. Oh, it was rough. I bought it for like 600 bucks Oh, mr. O'Donnell was his dad's car. Why your name a mr. O'Donnell then I could have called a buddy. Oh mr. O'Donnell. I don't know Murray. It seemed like a Murray as his personality Okay, yeah, but now I never called Martin Marty. It was always Martin. Gotcha. We never that close So yeah, I never knew a Marty. Okay, okay fair enough This one's from Marty ironically enough Have you ever referred to someone's actions as wheeling and dealing? That is a No, what that is Wheeling and dealing is to say someone is wheeling and dealing trashy and whatever they're doing is trashy You're operating in the fringes if someone's wheeling and dealing Yeah, you know what I mean? No one calls like an accountant. Ah, that guy's wheeling and if they are it's You know, he's a fucking wheeler and dealer. That's one that's one step away from Robin Peter to pay Paul sure Hey, he's wheeling wheeling and dealing is a little bit of a gray area. Yes, not everybody's getting a truth Yeah, that's a great one wheeling and dealing you remember the first time that you heard you're like you heard your dad call out another adult for being like a little shifty I don't know I do. It's just like that guy. He's a little you know, he's a wheeler and dealer sure I was full of shit that guy. We're a wheeling dealer. I remember early on someone got accused of stealing money from my dad He's the guy is stealing money from the CYO That guy's got he did not do his face. He just didn't trust him. I guess you know the fuck wants to run a CYO taking the cash Where's the fuck all that guy's like he always needs cash as fucking he's always like oh, we need no $30 for the tournament Another $20 for the uniform my dad's at their base. I'm still in a mess and probably how he would operate like I'd be skimming Like that guy's got fucking coffee cans buried in his backyard. We cash and remember we've dried by his house I'm gonna be like we're really wow good for him Yeah Six kids on the team. Yeah, no, I don't know if that's the truth, but it was you know, that was that was the allegation I was that was grown-up talk Yeah, I never it was just me and my dad in the car and I want to be like Why do you think I need this information at this age? You know what I mean like I was like young to make you crazy Yeah But I do have to say that helped my No, I know it's get you know, what I mean? I think it goes back to fucking not being a mark Not being a mark. You gotta know you gotta learn how you got a solo weed You gotta fucking you know you gotta do something you gotta fucking know how to move sure Yeah, what's on to something with that everybody should wait tables I agree with that and should do some sort of manual labor. They gonna do everybody got to do something You know what I mean one summer you gotta fucking dig a ditch. You gotta learn something sure and get up early Keep me gonna tell you something. Yeah, I love chubby's chubby chubby's. I love chubby. Who don't you know? Can I say this hit me chubby's been a sponsor for a little bit? While I go chubby sent me some stuff. I couldn't fit into yet. Yeah, I can now fit into them buddy You're looking at an H foley chubby summer. Let's go. So it's summer 2020 six chubby season Style and I man the comfort to fit to feel the I said I said like I'm doing an ad for them. The quality. Yes is unbelievable. Shout out to chubby's yes I don't know yet. They got their original shorts, which I like rock and baby They got a better fit. They got extra pockets and that warning from the from the feel the moment you throw them on Not like that was my problem with shorts. I buy them. I you know I feel like my dad when I get a brand new center for muters or whatever You're like what are you definitely everything starts not with chubby's they come in nice clean. I'm cozy You're on a golf course. You're out on a dock. You're doing your fishing. You're hitting no shower happy hour Whatever you got chubby's got you covered Whether you're getting dressed for your workday a workout or summer vacations Like I just said chubby's has you covered dog for a limited time chubby's is giving our viewers 20% off your order with the code garbage at chubby shorts Dot com that's code garbage chubby shorts dot com support the show and tell them we sent you don't blend in with the crowd stand out with chubby's That was awesome I've really hit that yeah stand out with chubby's Um this one's from Chris $20 homie. What was your Mom's home workout set up. I'd say the more home workout video tapes you had the trashier. Buns is steel and eight minute abs, the name of few. Denise was big on the step aerobics. Step aerobics. We had the step. That was, I mean, that was the step. We hit. I liked that little thing. It was like the box. It looked like a squatty potty. Kind of a bigger. It was probably like three feet long. It had like two stackable, like you can make it lower high. It had like rubber on the top and you would do like, we had to do it in element. It was big in the 80s. That was all like the jazz or size and shit. We had to do it in gym class. That was like we had all we all had our own thing and we would, you know, left the right. She was a little, we had turned on. Now, but our teacher did really shout out to Mr. Jenkins. No, shout out her name was Miss Zumble. Look at what an Amazon package. She was like a gymnast and she showed up. And I think she, I, my mom used to take her classes like outside of school. My mom wasn't showing up at gym class and hitting them. And she, I remember her, she was, that was like, you know, what the heck is even this? That was something else. I remember you, I remember me like, we were in like 7th, 8th grade. You cannot wear this in school. If the kids can't wear it, you should be able to wear it. You pull their side after. Oh, I got to eat lunch after this with a hard one. He's talking about, yeah, you got 35 fucking kids in a locker room all hot and a fucking stiffy. You're doing to us, lady. Kind of doors on the stalls and the bathroom, you know, drive me nuts. They were huge back and they were so through that tie bow. That's where our family drew the line. I thought that was karate. I thought he kind of is Billy blanks. He could fight. No, I don't know, I probably wet my ass. I know that much on that fucking, on that cardio, you fucking take me into deep waters. Fucking ends me. See how many, see how much money they made to, through tie bow was at the height of fucking. That was VHS and DVD sales, infomercials. That was moving hard copy units. That was probably $9, $10 a clip you made. Yeah. That's like record sales. That was like metallic. Metallica, you know what I mean? The anti was doing, it was doing numby. He probably sold, what do you got there, Lucas? It's the bow flex. Let me get the bow flex. I got tie bow right now. Yeah, tie bow. That's what we're looking for. I think that's bow flex on a shit Chuck Norris move, though. That was the total gym, right? He had shit before that. Remember the skis, the cross, Nordic track, Nordic track. I remember my buddy having somebody, my aunt, I don't even, I don't know. I don't even have no idea who had a wooden version of that. I remember being like, what is this the fucking jack clumpus with this? Jack clumpus. Jack clumpus? Jack clumpus. Jack clumpus. Both flex and it's peak was making 860 million a year. What was tie, how many videos of tie bow did they sell? 860 million a year? Dude, that's like $9, that's like 1995 money. That's like a bajillion. Exactly. They had a resurgent during the pandemic. Who did? Bow flex. No shit. Tie bow sold over 500 million home videos. That's in stewed even if he made a dollar per video. That's crazy. That's awesome. That's crazy money. 500 million videos, it's fucking insane. That blows everybody away. That's like Beatles. I mean, how many records have the Beatles sold? That's like Beatles. I bet that's more than the Beatles. Well, now it's like, with streams and stuff, it's wildly big. Forget about the streams. Talking hard copies. We were a big P90X family. P90X. What's not the powder to fuck the up before you read that? No, Tony Horton's videos. Yeah. Power 90X. P90X. Who did that? That was like family. Dude, me and my boys in like middle school would be ripping the videos. That was it. That dude, that used to say fucking throw chop on each other. That was like, if you can do it for two weeks. That guy, I remember that guy's abs. Oh, I know that guy. He is. Yeah. And the rest of them. You look like Captain Planet a little bit. Yeah, I forgot about that. P90X was huge. Brutal. I remember, I remember my buddy's dad. That was a fucking Richard Simmons man. Sure. That name, gentlemen. Uh huh. He's coming out with that, right? Isn't fucking him. He never announced a definition on him. He was the best. This morning show was great. Who is the old guy? I remember watching that. Jack something. He was like, what the fuck? Is that always bugged me out? I mean, I would see her. And then like, my sister also did it as well. And maybe they did it together. Like, I, it wasn't like, sit down and watch me. Like, if she was doing that. Because that was like an hour or whatever. And that might just well been, when I was like six, an hour is like three. Seven weeks. I'm like, I'm going to debt. I'll see you later. I'll start walking or whatever. Um, this net worth has got to be wrong. It says 20 to 30 million. No chance. That was making it screw. Yeah. He might have, like, sold it early. Yeah. Like, sold the rights for, you know, hey, we'll give you $5 million right now. And he did it. Could be a, could be a wrong code company. Beatles estimated over 600 million units. So, yeah. Billy Blanks and the Beatles. Same, same. Pretty good. Some of those are downloads. Oh, yeah. Um, all right. Let's see here this one. Great question. This one's from Phil A. Are you garbage? If you hit the little league field for the snack bar, my kid doesn't have a game. I just want cheese fries, a hot dog, and some water rice. I ain't done. Uh, I respect it. And that goes, I would, I would also never, I can picture the one I grew up driving by it. It would never occur to me to pull in and get something. Never occur to me. I would, I wouldn't, that's a great idea. I get it's kitschy. It's fun. Just, my brain doesn't work like that. Yeah. I have a very strong nostalgic attachment to the, a little league field in North Eastern Pennsylvania. North end. Um, or not North, North, North end, Wokesbury. Okay. Sorry. Um, which the last time I was up there seemed all run down. But they have the two level booth with the announcers up top. They had the snack bar on the outside. Good bleachers. They had the fence with the, um, sponsorship and all that stuff. Uh-huh. Solid. Gummy bears. Pizza. Hot dogs. French fries with the first time I smelled malt vinegar. And malt vinegar. Mm-hmm. They had like that. That's not for me. You don't like malt vinegar on your french fries sometimes? Mm-hmm. I would be very upset if someone did that to me and didn't tell me. You can't just go doing that. No, no, you don't do it. It's there for you if you want it. No. You don't like that? I don't like I've ever seen it. I don't know what it is. Luke? I mean, in Europe, I've seen it. Ella out. You don't do it? No. It's a soda stain. That's commy shit, dude. That's, no, it's not. That's fucking British. They might as well be fucking commies to me. No, they either fight for our freedom. Ain't American. It's good. They ain't American. It's like fish and chips with a malt vinegar. It's delicious. It's a loaded thing. Too ketchup, too. No. But cheese whiz. And the only cheese whiz. I love me some cheese whiz. I ain't afraid. Store brand ketchup. I'm a huntsman. Woo! What a hunts family was. Hangin' on my thin thread. Um, yeah. So, I'm all about that. I love that. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I just, I think it's awesome. I just, like, I have like a barrier in my head. I'm like, I can't get that. My kid's not playing. You know, I am. Sure. Yeah. It's like getting snacks at the movies when you're not at the movies. Yeah. I just, like, why would never just do it? Yeah, but I respect that there's a game going on but I'm taking it in in your Sure, but you're in a stowage a guy like obviously it's not and you're it's not great food. It's good Yeah, this is why I lost you. You didn't lose me I like it's not like if you want a hot dog Mm-hmm, and you're in a car you can get a better version of a hot dog Not to say it's not fantastic and the combination of everything together To me, it's like the experience, you know what I mean? It's like going to a ball game and getting the cracker jacks Or what it's like that it's the location if you just pull up eat it and then eat it in your car like a fucking Psychopath and then get out of there. So it's like it for me. It's got to be the game It's got the guy even going to get movies. Thanks. It's got to be the movies, you know first remember gummy bears was it was there? Yeah, I always like I always like me away gummy bears. Yeah It's like wow, what is this a new something was happening? Things were changing Then nerds came out It was a very interesting time. Yes, wacky wild time being rat when you were born It's weird gummy bears came out when I was no when I first came across 1983 1984 so a couple years where you're born. I'm not that much. We're not that far apart Buddy you're born in 1986. I was 10 years old. Yeah, I mean for sure. I was driving times a lot of sex, but You know Steve Shot to Marty Yeah, but I mean, yeah, I don't know 40 and 50s of jump still. That's like the closest we've ever been You know 26 and 36 is a jump 26 26. You're all hanging out with 36 year old. You must will be 382 That's crazy weird. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I would say maturity level. You're younger than me And not that I'm a tour do you think so? You think I'm less mature than you? I think so Yeah, are you do you have evidence to it? I believe that's because you're ugly Nana Nana Boo Boo. You can't I'm rubber your glue. All right, whatever All right, let's see this one's from I lost the game as a garbage You have your dad pick you up from kindergarten in his bread truck every day. There was no passenger seat So I sat on an old bread box. I dig it. That's great. That would have made me feel so I would have been slightly embarrassed smell it a bread. Who doesn't love the bread guy, but also booze one of those trucks It didn't have the doors like a fucking UPS like a chip truck or whatever like a delivery truck That was a coolest thing to me riding around fucking foot hanging out. Mm-hmm wind in your hair. Yeah as a kid I was saying this to somebody. I always loved going and doing stuff that the general public couldn't do yes So to get in that truck I'd look at everybody else be like like check out. I'd be like proud I'd be like you guys are all getting your fucking shitty as minivans Whatever I got to go to work. I'm sure I got you need me. They're calling me in that's like when you would ride in the middle of a When you'd ride bitch in a in a pickup truck Awesome great my stepdad's Ford Ranger Shifting and fucking, you know, you have a beer at golf. He smells like gas for some reason. Yeah, it was awesome Dude dad. I remember being a guy CB radio. We'd be driving on the shore CB radio Danny on my right him on my left as fat as shit to fat little kids I'm never being like put Danny in the middle fucking get elbowed this whole time fucking huge thing of sunflower seeds Right between my legs like in the the little like console or whatever like yeah CB and Danny on a CB radio. I'm just mulching We're all three of us mulch and so is the most bonding we've ever had and me and Danny are just dicking around on the CB radio Where were you spitting your sunflower seed shells, uh, you have a cup probably a cup. I'll eat the show. I'm a shell guy I'll eat the shells What yeah, I Used to eat the shell. Yeah, very young kid, but you're a croler Yeah, eat the shells. Yeah, I like them. That's what a flavor is baby No, it's it's worse Wow and I remember a time in in high school where I was constantly eating sunflower seed we were just walking around I think in high school Speak that's like something you know, that's like trying you're trying to have an identity You're like dipping. Yeah, I'm the fucking so I just always got them same thing with like smoking So you smoke a young age you're looking for it was a big lacrosse thing, too. Yeah, you're trying you're like, oh, this is a lacrosse thing This is what the cross players do. I'm part of the team. It's like same thing with like Fucking baseball players and the chew and the gum and the seeds. It's like part of the it's part of it I love that you're looking you're trying to be somebody I love that what just to fucking what they got in the dugout. I'm fascinated by shit on the sidelines The different kinds of gates play a lot of time. They should know. Yeah The different I even even division three the different kinds of gatorade that we had it was all ice cold all the shit that we had So yeah Yeah He's still got some use of eligibility left. We were talking you go back. It's true Let's see here. This one's from uncle cousin $10 Kentucky gentleman never have one red. Shout out to you good sir Shout out to mine Southern gentleman ever seen a fight at a funeral a group of my cousins beat up another cousin who was the dad of the deceased Jesus that's fucked up. He must have been a real piece of shit. Yeah, yeah, I mean that guy you fucking show up now after he's gone Yeah, what a fuck were you? Wow, that's Yeah, I've listened tensions are high. Yeah people are drinking emotions are up and down You know what I mean? I remember the first time if you know suck. Yeah, they're not great I remember learning the first time the family takes like Xanax like the in The process in the line So they're not just bawling their eyes out all day Who gives them that nobody gave me that for what my dad? Yeah, I mean, you know something maybe a little more tragic 73-year-old man passing to God not saying it's not I understand what you're saying Yeah, just something you know what fucking, you know, I attended a lot of drug over those is sure stuff like that Yeah, fucking 25 going to They had a fucking Something the mother what's it called? What said date the mother? Yeah, just that of like I you know, you're going to also too Staying next to the body all fucking day. I get shit. Mm-hmm. I do a little nippin something. I mean You just drive them by Yeah, that's a tough wide mean. I get that that's tough, you know the funerals are fucking that's where you have it out though. Yeah That's always a big thing. You never be in my funeral. You know, I would say that Some family numbers really you're never gonna be in his funeral. I'll see you. Yeah. I'll see you your funeral Jesus come from a dicey family. See it's your funeral, huh? Yeah, there's a Yeah, I mean, we're just fucking dirt bags. There's just like lines of delineation, you know, who's so and so talk don't talk. I mean the whole section of my family. I don't talk to See him say him from time to time bump into him and ignore you Now some of them are obviously very sweet some also, you know, it's beef that I don't even fucking know You know, and I'm done fighting other people's I got to a certain age dealing with all that shit Where I'm like I'm done fighting other people's fucking beefs. You want to be mad you can fucking be mad I ain't got time for all that. Mm-hmm. Miss me would all that shit. I mean Is he pretty good at squashing that one? I'm not involved What I never could any like beef like that like where it's like what do you do you don't you do aren't talking? What the fuck is that about? You dumb broad fucking give you a fresh one. No. Yeah, I don't I mean I'm saying other people like so and so You're not getting involved in it dragged into someone else. Yeah, you'll say hi to both parties I'll give a fight or I won't say hi to anybody. I don't care. Can I have any guys everybody. I don't fuck say hi to nobody Fucking easy dead than me. Let's see it. You see I said that once I answer this funeral. I'm done. I've said that before you have Who are you fucking Leo? Fucking cranking it from money I was cranking a heater. I remember I'm fucking 34 the Broadway in a story yet I was on the phone with Danny or somebody I said I'm done Said what I see can I have 40 bucks to get home? I need a train. I gotta catch the time. I used to be like hey, he'd be like yeah, I get you know I used to ask for money for something flake the price and then take the charter time the mega boss or something Yeah, you know, hey cost me 50 bucks to get home By the 10 dollar ticket. I got 40 bucks walking around money. Mm-hmm. I always spend it so stupidly. Oh, yeah I got like some boroughs or something back in the years and some bar is it be blown Fucking they can't even fucking Penn station I do say some pizza Penn station for for 18 dollars I'm your way to a catered lunch Such a fucking idiot This one's from shells 10 dollar 10 dollar make your hall or homie here first time never have one red is a garbage Ahold a sig like a joint when you smoke Yes Oh, hold on you mean like this. No Jimmy Conway style. No, that's not that's fucking classy Why would you fucking say now? I don't say I don't think if you're going, what'd you fucking say? I don't think I'm not saying it's not bad It is yeah, but that's we're talking about Again, that's a choice to me as I mean we've smoked a very low. No one's like natural smoking is a choice Sure to look cool. That's what I'm saying and that's also a choice like naturally you smoke mm-hmm You know, I prefer like this I've done I look down on how our kids just joins through this is this is Luke I catch I catch my eyes out We're out in a lake called new cool cool guy Luke He looks at it him and Tommy really feel when they're together and then they yeah, they both stand They don't sit they stand Luke got his hand on his ball Right and he's claiming he's sick all fucking week meanwhile. He's fucking high as a kite right he's getting fucking back home smoking legal L.A. Luke and then Tommy Tommy you all a dirt a dirt a pure dirt bag Smoking a joint or a blunt always has a half a bottle of water in their hand always and they're holding it right They're holding it by the top, you know what I mean like that and do Tommy's like Fucking saying a nozzler occurs to their freestyle and you'd never know when you're gonna need it But you're gonna need it that water. I got caught in me. Yeah, you two like you two like dance around each other You're both like giggling and doing like stupid shit You two get real fucking girly twirly when you're together smoking doobies. Oh, yeah, it's cute. Oh, I'd expect it Smoking the there isn't what there is a cool way to smoke a joint. Yeah Well, see shit. Yeah, cool guy. Look at talking about ideas. Yeah I heard ice man's not even that good man you Tommy say that We gotta wrap it up gang what a fun one. Yes, sir gang We love you to death come see us in a road. Yeah, we all over the road. We got tickets The main you got poor I might be sold out that red bird selling out Cleveland listen The boys are moving take you get them and come see us come see the boys. We love you. We'll see you next week peace