287: Nail Biting Updates Ft. Taylor Tomlinson

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You can talk to one of their 19,000 local agents in person over the phone, through their easily accessible app, or at statefarm.com. Whatever works for you, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. We're rolling right now. Great. Every time I do this podcast, I always want to start a podcast. I'm like, this is how it's done. It's cozy. I'll help you. It's cool. It's cool. Say less. I swear to God. It's like, when you go to other podcasts, it's a whole thing. It's kind of scary. It's really scary. It's like a whole TV show, and you're like, well, I could never do this. I don't have time. And then I come to yours, and it's like, I feel like I'd have to learn a lot more about technology, though. I think you're pretty knowledgeable about how everything works, and I don't have that. But I started from nothing. Really? I went healthcare, and then couldn't get a job, so started this thing. I was recording on an iPhone 8. Really? Make it till you make it, girl. Okay, see, that's helpful. You can do it. You wrote a whole damn book. That's true, and I do feel great about that. The hardest thing about writing a book is you are so proud of yourself for writing it that it actually makes it difficult to quality control it because you're just so like, well done, you, for even doing it. Little pat. It might be garbage, but it's done, isn't it? And most people can't even write that much garbage. I'm not really promoting this well. No, no, no, but I will. So, actually, never mind. Taylor's book comes out September 22nd. I read your intro because I just got it sent over to me. Oh, good. And I read your intro, and I was like, I was trying to explain how even good your writing is because it's like, you're so profound, but then I'm on the brink of tears because you say this profound thing, and then you crack a joke at the end, and I'm like, okay, I'm literally laughing out loud, and I'm like, that's just the intro. That's so nice of you to say because I am- It's so good. I'm terrified because, like, everyone's like, well, you can write. You're a comedian. You're always writing, and I'm like, yeah, but I'm writing jokes. It's a totally different type of writing, you know? Like, the analogy I keep using is like, yeah, being really good at writing jokes is not the same as, like, being really good at writing prose. Like, it's the difference of, like, oh, yeah, I make amazing smoothies. That doesn't mean I can roast a chicken. You know, it's just, it's an entirely different thing. Like, I suppose they're all food, but it's just, it's a totally different skill set, and, like, to go from trying to write every idea I have and everything I want to communicate and every joke I have in, like, the shortest possible way, which is what jokes are, is, like, saying things in the most concise way possible to then writing about all of those subjects long form and getting my head wrapped around that of, like, no, yeah, you're supposed to, you're supposed to expand on all of this. Like, you're, I'm great at editing. It was the getting it all out was the hardest part. But then once they were like, yeah, let's cut some stuff, I'm like, easy. Oh, I was gonna say, did you feel like you were able to expand on things a lot more? Yes, definitely. Because, like, a joke, obviously, it's, you know, it's got to be quick. It's got to be punchy. Otherwise, you lose people. This, similar, you don't want to lose people, but you have more room. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, the book's, like, I think the book's witty. It's not, like, hilarious, because I think you're also touching on, like, looking at your chapter titles, like, you're touching on some big stuff. Yeah, it's, like, a much more honest account of a lot of things that I've talked about in my stand-up. When you're doing a stand-up joke about something, it's not going to be all the details, and it's not going to be how you really feel. Like, your feelings are kind of wedged in between the jokes. It's almost like read between the lines, and you know how I feel. To the point where sometimes I talk about things on stage, and I go, oh, I'm making this sound like I'm over it. Or, I'm really making light of this really painful thing that happened to me. And I'm proud of that ability. But yeah, to fully explain experiences I've had in, like, their totality in the book was, like, I mean, very scary, and cathartic, and interesting, and so many, it brought up so much for me. Like, I cried a lot writing the book. A lot from just, like, deadline. But it's also- I think I said to you the last time you were here, I was like, God, you're giving, like, healed. Like, you're- you are just so therapized, and that's, like, literally one of your- your chapters, too. But I- I know last time I came here, I don't know what was going on. Why? But I was really, like, looking for the best in people on Reddit, which was crazy. I'm not in that headspace today. Not today? Today, I think everyone's up to something. Okay. And I- I- because last time, I felt so silly. Well, maybe there was that one with the photos in the box. Yeah. And I thought, oh, well, maybe he's taking a photography class. Who the fuck am I? Maybe he's taking a photography class and keeping it a secret. What? What man who's ever hidden photos, it was revealed it was just a creative project? Like, I- I literally don't know what I was thinking that day. I must have been- You were hopeful. I was really hopeful that day. You were so hopeful. Like, glass, way more than half full. Like, 75% full. 75% for sure. Oh, my God. Two full glasses. Yeah. In each hand. Double-fisting. Now I'm like, I really- I don't know. I don't even know what we're going to talk about, and I'm already like, I don't know about that. Well, I think you are really going to enjoy today's vibe, today's theme, because there was a moment last time, and I think I gave you an update, you know, kind of off the bat, and then you might have gotten a little greedy, because then a story came without an update, and you were like, there's no update? So many of them did not have updates. You were like, I don't want to be here anymore. Whatever you said, it was so- it was so funny. I left very different. I left exhausted. No. Exhausted and confused. But that's how my listeners feel. They're like, Morgan, more updates, more updates. Like, why are you doing this to us? Why are you even picking stories that don't have updates? Well, here's what I like about this podcast. It trains you to be okay to living without closure. And I think that's a really important part of being alive, is just accepting you will not have closure in most things. Today, you are going to get a lot of closure. Every single story has an update. Really? Yeah. Oh my God! I didn't even mean what I said. Thank God. Okay, great. Closure's the best. Every single one has an update. Will there be closure at the end of that update, though? Okay. You'll see. Okay. You'll decide. Oh my God. I felt- I just- I can feel the familiar twist in my gut of anxiety. Oh, it's going to be so good. The lack of information is already stressing me out. I know I'm not going to- Get all the answers I need. But I'm ready. I'm okay. I can do it. Okay. Just deep breath. Deep breath. In through your nose, out through your mouth. It's okay. Okay. You got it. Let's dive in. Okay. This first one, coming from AITA Relationships, titled, Would I Be the Asshole If I Broke Up With My Boyfriend Because His Friends Got Him a Me-Shaped Piñata. Is it stupid that my first question is for his birthday, or for no reason? I, 22 female, and my boyfriend, Matt, 22 male, have been together for a year and eight months. Matt and I go to different universities in neighboring cities, about a 45-minute drive from each other. Matt is in a fraternity, important for later. It was Matt's birthday on Friday, and him and I went out to dinner to celebrate. After dinner, I went back to my university since I live on campus. The next evening, I was on Instagram. And I clicked on one of our mutual friends' private stories, and I saw Matt and a bunch of his friends hitting and stomping on a piñata. By clicking through more of the stories, I figured that it must have been a surprise party for Matt, since he had told me his only birthday plans were dinner with me. On the last slide of the Instagram story, I got a close-up of the piñata, and it looked exactly like me. From the hair color. From the hair color to the skin color, even down to my septum piercing. Okay. Okay. There was no doubt that it was me. I was really confused and I screen recorded the stories and then I sent a message to the friend who posted the story. I asked her if it was me as the piñata and she left me on read and then removed me from her close friend's story. This just confirmed my suspicions. The next day I texted him and I asked how his party went and he acted confused and said that he never had a party. I was confused as to why he was lying to me. I told him I saw it on mutual friend's private story and then he completely stopped answering. An hour later he answered and said, quote, yeah, the guys threw me a surprise party. It's frat tradition not to talk about it though. That's when I asked him about the me shaped piñata and I sent him the video of him and his friends destroying it. He told me that he was lying to me and I said, quote, yeah, the guys threw me a surprise party. That it was not me. It was just a random piñata the guys had found. I told him to stop lying to me. It was obviously me. I told him how hurt I was that he would allow his friends to do something like that and all he could answer was that they would kick him out of the frat if he didn't accept it. I also brought up if his frat had thrown him a surprise party, why wasn't I invited? I was only 45 minutes away. I knew it wasn't because it was only guys because the mutual friend who had posted it was a girl who goes to his university. And I saw in the story there were multiple girls there. He stopped answering me and hasn't responded since. It's been a day with no contact. I'm honestly considering breaking up with him over this. I've caught him in lies before, but this is just too much. The video of him and his friends stomping the piñata was just so disturbing and to find out that my face was on it. We were planning on moving in together after graduation, but honestly, I don't know anymore. You're considering breaking up with him? Considering? Would I be the asshole if I broke up with him over this? Girl, are you serious? Would I be the asshole being a woman as hell? This is the craziest thing I've ever heard in my life. Even if that piñata wasn't her, a piñata of any woman is not okay. Piñatas should only be things that don't exist, like dragons and shit. That's how I feel. I appreciate that. Yeah. Yes, that's crazy. For him to be like, it's just some random girl piñata is just as bad. Also, if this were me, I would not be on Reddit going, am I an asshole if I broke up with him? I'd be setting that frat house on fire. This is the craziest story I've ever heard in my life. She's being too cool about it. I would completely agree. I'm so upset. I really appreciate that take, though, with piñatas should only be fake because it is kind of crazy to beat the shit out of this thing that is potentially real. Or like a character that's, I don't know. It's just weird. Like, I've had a piñata that I thought was so cute, I felt bad hitting it. That's what I'm saying. Like, and then this is looking like your girlfriend. Yes. And you're stomping on it. Also, where did you go that makes piñatas that look like a photo of your girlfriend? You bring in a photo of your girlfriend and you say, can you turn this into a picture? Yeah. On Etsy, there are a bunch of accounts that will make custom piñatas. Etsy's supposed to be a safe space. $200 for a custom piñata. Oh, for celebrities, I do get that. Yeah. You know, some celebrities deserve to be piñatas. Yeah. I mean, that kind of looks like Guy Fieri, Flavortown. I cannot tell. That's not well made. A lot of them are just printed photos. A lot of them, like that little, like the little girl. What? They made one of a little girl? She's like four. You and it's your party. That's okay. But that feels like something that you would maybe think was funny. And then once some people were hitting the piñata version of you, you might actually feel bad. Like, I feel that way sometimes when I post old pictures of me as a little kid and then people comment on it and they go like, oh, I see why you're funny now. You weren't that cute. And it's, here's the thing. It's okay when I say it. Assholes. Well, it's okay when I say it. Maybe it's in the caption. But then when other people say it, I'm like, I actually don't like that. I actually don't like that other people are doing it. You, I can say that about me, but you can't. That's what I mean. But it's, but in the moment, it feels like your idea to be like, yeah, piñata, everyone hit me. And then when they're doing it, you're like, I just don't like this. This feels weird. Like Becky, why are you hitting me so hard? Yes. Like, do you hate me? Yeah. I wouldn't be okay with this. And to be clear, like these are all custom piñatas. There's no piñatas on any website that are just blank with septum piercing. Like these, all are custom. This took time. I don't know if you've ever had to make something custom on Etsy. The septum piercing. I mean, she was like, it looks like me, like my piercings on it. And I was like, yeah, that's you. Cause if it was just like, oh, they have brown hair. They could be like, oh, it's your celebrity lookalike, but like a specific, like it has my septum piercing and the tattoo of my grandma's birthday. Like, and he's like, ah, it's just a random one. We just found that. Well, and the way he keeps line, you keep lying. You keep doubling down lies before, but this really feels like the last, I'm like, you have photos to prove it. And he's still lying to you. Yeah. No one should be dating a 22 year old man in a frat. That's just not a thing that should be happening. Those men should be single. Well, and he's like, I'd get kicked out of my frat if I, if I didn't kick the shit out of a piñata that looked like you. Are those people you want to be friends with? Is that who you want to be around? Also, what have you been telling them about me? Where if they throw a prize party for you, they get you a piñata that looks like me. What are you telling them? That would be my first thought too. I'm scared. Yeah. But also, you know what? Sometimes guys are just like, it's your girlfriend. Of course you hate her. So, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what you've said or haven't said. You got this piñata, you hit it. You lied. You lied again. I hate him. Yeah. Everyone is on board. You said 22 frat. And I said, break up. Immediately no. I said immediately no. And the comments do too. Why would you stay with him? He's lied to you before and is lying now. You're so young. Go live a wonderful life without somebody who doesn't seem to value you. Next comment. Oh, fuck no. Dump him. If his friends have a tradition of beating and stomping on effigies of their girlfriends, then the whole group is garbage. Yep. Plus he lied and he's lied before. Ma'am, your man is a woman hating loser. Trust me. There are better men out there. Yep. Go to the library, babe. Yeah. Stop looking at the frats. Bye-bye. Bye-bye, boy. I mean, so many people are like, why even bother talking to him? Just ghost him. Literally just ghost him. He's kind of ghosting you right now. Yeah. Is there an update to this one? Uno reverse. Of course there is. It better be she broke up with him. Of course there is. If it's not, I will crash my car on the way home. No. Are you kidding me? No, sorry. Read it. Read it. Sorry. Hi, everyone. Thank you for all the comments and messages. I've read each and every one of them, and I'm truly grateful for all the advice. Oh, no. Update. So Matt texted me back after a full day of incognito. He finally admitted that, yes, the pinata was supposed to be me. He said it was just a joke and it was meant to be funny. I told him how disrespectful and disturbing that was. I ended up breaking up with him. And I told him I wasn't going to stay with a man child who was going to disrespect me for the and begged me to stay. He was apologizing and saying he didn't want to lose me and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. After I made it clear I wasn't going to take him back, he literally sent me a video of him making out with that mutual friend. I don't even know what the point of that was. I feel sick to my stomach. Do you have a reason you're like, am I in college? That's the worst story I've ever heard from beginning to end. I feel sweaty. I want to cry. That makes me so upset. That's crazy. What? OP does go on to say, maybe it was just a final F you, but I honestly couldn't care at this point. I now realized how immature he was. So I just blocked him. This didn't even happen to me and I feel nauseous. I don't even know what they look like. I can't even picture them. But I feel like I can see them, you know? So yeah, most of you were right. He was cheating on me. At least she left. Thank God. I know. I know. And like, just goes on to say he's a jerk. He's an immature man child. Yes, I'm going to be sending the video to the university, though I doubt they'll do anything. But yeah, this is the update. What would the university do with that? I don't know. They could reprimand the frat. Oh, of the pinata. I thought she meant, of him making out with the girl. And I was like, I think they were both of age. Like I didn't, I was confused for a second. No, yes. And the pinata picture. Yeah. Sure. Which that is very disturbing. Yes. Watching a group of frat guys. Do anything really. But, but that like, just like the visual of like beating a woman pinata, stomping on it. Like it's disturbing. It's not your bachelor party where that would be fine. No, I'm kidding. I'm joking. He thought I was getting serious. Just off the rails. No, no, no. I'm like, no. And if he had proposed. like of course hit the pinata but this is just a casual relationship i know do people do pinatas for i've never heard of this in my life no usually it's like pin the tail on the hunk or like i've never seen those i i don't know oh yeah yeah like the penis yeah yeah of course yeah no i've never heard of this getting a pinata that looks like someone you know type of thing i'm like i'm shocked there was like multiple etsy listings like this is a big business i thought you could get a pinata of like three things i thought it was like garfield dora the explorer and louie blue yeah that's what i thought yeah could pick from i didn't know there was more than that i kind of want to get you one now just so like not for you to break but like just to have just to take care of because you would take care of i would take out of you yeah i have there's a little door on the back to take the candy out yeah i know where do they place the doors because a lot of times it would probably be the crotch which could be in is it it's usually like a crotch it's usually in the crotch on the bottom not many but the unicorn it's like kind of like oh yeah i feel like it's always a unicorn always a unicorn see a unicorn you could hit and feel no guilt about i still felt bad really i'm an empath oh we don't empaths can't can't be anywhere near a pinata no wait i i did tear up a little oh it was that cute huh yeah that and like some little five-year-old stole my twix yeah like it was devastating okay let's go get you on to this next one okay maybe it'll be better maybe i don't think so though so this is titled me 25 female with my boyfriend 26 male of six months i'm about to break up with him over a backpack but i need to know if i'm overreacting okay my boyfriend jacob and i have been together for a year and a half now we met through mutual friends about two years ago jacob is a very laid back guy and maybe since i have a lot of anxiety that attracted me to him the past six months have been fun and without incident until now i thought jacob was a caring and thoughtful person and i really saw a future with him but now i'm really reconsidering background info i have a backpack that is covered with patches before this happened i had about 35 patches sewn onto it this is a project that i started when i was 14 and i needed a backpack for high school over the years i collected patches from all the shows concerts and plays i've gone to when i studied abroad and visited new cities and museums gifts from friends and family etc when i was 20 the bottom of my backpack ripped out so i got a new one and carefully removed and reattached the patches i don't carry a purse i carry this backpack literally every day what the fuck did he do it might seem silly but a lot of my personal history and favorite memories are tied sewn into this backpack i would die for this backpack on wednesday jacob and i were hanging out at my place watching netflix with two mutual friends my apartment has a larger living room than his does so we tend to hang out in my place i had to go to work early thursday morning so i went to bed a little earlier and just told jacob to lock up before he came to bed the next morning i go about getting ready for work and go to put some things in my backpack that's when i notice it's missing patches to be precise i immediately woke jacob up basically panicking asking what happened he told me that he had invited three of his friends over after i'd gone to sleep apparently they texted him because they were bar hopping nearby and he told them to come over at some point one of them saw my backpack sitting in the living room and said it was cool and they wanted one like it and jacob told them that they could have some of the patches if they wanted so they cut they cut 11 patches off of my bag i was livid i still am i can't really describe how betrayed i feel a few of my patches were gifts from my father who passed away last year he always loved helping me find new patches and bought me three limited release patches that are now very expensive and difficult to find those are all gone i had one patch that my dad bought in 1994 and let me have it's gone as well wait does he know these people these friends he could get them back from these friends i don't know why i'm like about to cry this is the worst thing i've ever heard since the last one what is happening when you have kids with this man and he has friends over and they say oh i'd like a daughter someday will he go take mine it's all gone patches from my study abroad trip are gone too i feel so so devastated i'm not proud of my reaction i flipped the fuck out a lot of what the fuck were you thinking and how could you do this i told him he had to call his friends that were over and get all of the patches back he said he would for the ones from my dad but he would look too bad if he asked for the rest that quote didn't mean as much i asked him if he cared more about looking like a jackass to them or me he hesitated and i freaked out and i told him he had to leave i messaged the people i know over on facebook and i got a response back from one person one of the mutual friends he brought my patches back thursday night all of them he said he thought it was weird that jacob offered but went along with it and apologized so now i only have nine patches missing i know it sounds silly but i just feel so sick over it i texted jacob today about getting my dad's patches back and he just said he was going to contact them on the weekend what's the point of waiting i talked to a couple of close friends about what happened and i told them i wanted to break up over this they both saw this as an overreaction and that i should just let it go and get more patches everyone seems to think because patches are cheap i shouldn't be so upset and i should forgive him oh are your friends dads alive sounds like they are i need to know if i'm overreacting my feelings are maybe i was being hysterical when i confronted jacob and i didn't deal with it in the best way but he hasn't been proactive about fixing the situation he only texted me once to tell me that he was contacting his friends on the weekend i'm so frustrated and hurt and i'm not sure how i will ever trust him again after this and before anyone asks he absolutely knew what this backpack meant to me once we were about a month into dating he asked me to give him the backstory to each and every patch and he's seen me carry it every day you ever see a video on tiktok and all the comments and it's like a woman talking about her relationship and all the comments are like that man hates you yeah that's how i feel about this couldn't have said it better i think your reaction was absolutely understandable warranted oh i think the only argument i could make for a different reaction is from the standpoint of getting the patches back and manipulating him into doing that is maybe if you had gently cried that would have made him feel worse or something whereas now because you and i'm using your words flipped out he can go well she's overreacting whatever she's an emotional woman yeah she's being so emotional oh my god i hate but also i don't know i still think he probably would have been like it's not that big a deal your friends saying that you're overreacting do not have dead parents who are these friends because what the fuck is wrong with you my friends would never never ever say that shit to me even if they did think i was overreacting which we've all had those moments they'd be like morgan you're so valid for your feelings but you know do you think you could address it maybe this way like they'd be helpful but they wouldn't just immediately gaslight me also who in this group of friends is your boyfriend trying to fuck that he doesn't want to ask for a patch back like why is that a big deal why do you think those friends are going to be like no you're such a fucking loser you said we could have these like i'm sure they don't care that much yeah you want to save face that bad yes that is weird who are you trying to impress also it's so weird to just be like oh yeah you like that you can have that you can cut those patches off i thought when she said i told him to lock up i thought it was going to be that someone broke in and stole her backpack and that would have been more like complicated yeah this is so straightforward that guy's a dick yeah is there an update yeah eventually oh no but you're lucky we're coming across this now so this actually came up we've got a friend his name's direct caterpillar matt he's like reddit guru and i had him on and i was asking him like what's your favorite you know post you've had recently and he recommended this one because op came back on matt's post on it on best of redditor updates and left a comment with a 10 year later update oh this was 10 years ago 10 years ago this happened i should have known patches on a backpack i should have known this was like five ico iphones ago it's like coming back though is it it's coming back maybe that's why it means so much to us because it's nostalgia yeah i mean if this happened now it would be even worse because you've managed to hold on to something that precious and special in a world where no one cares about that and everything's digital yeah this makes me so sick i can't 10 years later 10 if she's married to this guy i will burn this this studio to the ground we got married we had a baby did not if they did i i can't handle it no but do that of course all the comments you're not overreacting like comments really did steer her in the right direction thank god because her friends in real life weren't which again just goes to show how powerful reddit can be yeah because otherwise she would have been like i actually i was a little you know of course yes and i and i've definitely overreacted to so many things in my life so you can trust me you did not this time no i'd be the first one to say it because i've been there so update okay 10 years later responding to the top comment for visibility this was me i'm surprised i could still log into this reddit account it was a throwaway it's been so long since this happened through the course of everything i learned that my ex wasn't laid back he just didn't give a fuck very different things i did get all of my patches back oh thank fuck i could not handle it if you didn't get those badges back i was trying to be cool but i really i really couldn't handle it oh my god okay thank god oh a few people i'm like way too close to my beard for this oh my god okay sorry i'm okay i don't care a few people were very apologetic and immediately went out of their way to return them a few people i had to show up at their place with a friend in tow good looking someone in the eyes and saying quote you have a patch that my dead father gave me when i was 14 worked pretty well i'm obsessed with her basically all of them blamed my ex it's okay i blamed him too he truly never apologized he just wanted me to be less mad without actually fixing anything i was very passive then and i don't think i had ever been as angry as that moment i went scorched earth and i told everyone what he did he was mad about that but i didn't care he shouldn't have done it if he didn't want me to talk about it a few of my friends apologized for taking his side but our friendship wasn't ever really the same after that no dead to me months maybe even a year after all of this went down my sister and i were going through a storage unit of my dad's to clear it out we found one of his old backpacks nothing special just a jansport i cleaned it out and that was the new base i still have it to this day and i've added new patches since what the fuck you guys that you know what i don't know where that man is but i have it i have it i have it i have it i hope he never knows peace i because the only thing that you should think when your girlfriend shows you a backpack full of patches is well she's gonna be easy to shop for that should be your only thought every every special moment every holiday patch covered you had it made dude you know you propose with a patch with a patch you fucked up so hard and i hope i hope you are in hell wherever you are i hope that life is never easy for you both sides of the pillow hot hot sweaty as you sleep every night yes yeah i hope you're married to someone evil who won't divorce you that's what i hope for that man yeah no prenup no prenup he made a lot of money since so it really hurts yeah a lot of money but you're empty inside yeah no no like and you maybe you did have a lot of money but now you're you're going through bankruptcy yes and everyone thinks you still have money so you still have to pay for everything when you go out to dinner yeah but you don't have any money no and you care about your ego so much that you're like putting it on a credit card that's like 26 interest and and you're hiding it from everyone in your life yeah and your wife is leaving you for someone else maybe your best friend even yes but won't legally divorce you insane we should be god absolutely we'd be so good at it oh how do you even go on from there i don't know but we must but we must we that one was better that was like a nice update a little satisfying yeah and at least at least they've both broken up with both of them so too satisfying yeah okay but that one was like really satisfying because she got all the patches back and stuff and she didn't have to watch a video of him having sex with someone wearing one of her patches or whatever like that was so crazy oh my gosh oh you couldn't pay me to be in my 20s again no hell this episode is brought to you by skims okay can we talk about good cotton basics for a second i've been loving everything cotton this summer it's lightweight it's breathable especially when it comes to underwear i love my skims cotton underwear i can wear them all day and not feel swampy and gross i've been wearing my skims cotton jersey tee with basically everything a skirt jeans i can wear it running errands but easily dress it up a little bit and then wear it out to a happy hour with friends i love how versatile everything is my cotton scoop bralette is a daily wear for me i also love it in the fits everybody fabric and speaking of fits everybody the bodysuits super lightweight nice hug it is the perfect staple for your wardrobe there's nothing like finding those staples and those good high quality basics for your wardrobe and the skims basics are going to become a part of your daily routine shop skims cotton and all of my favorite pieces at skims.com after you place your order be sure to let them know i sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select my show in the drop down menu that follows thank you this next story is a little interesting how many mattresses do you have just one right like on my bed yeah one okay is that wrong no i feel like that's normal so is that more you'll have you'll have an interesting take i'll get more i actually do have two mattresses stacked in my guest room right now because i went through a phase of like i got a mattress from costco i i didn't like it and i needed something more comfortable but then it's like i didn't want to return it because i'll have a guest room for it eventually but that's honestly so smart i've actually never thought about that but you could just stack one i can't get on the bed oh i need a step stool to get on it oh okay but that's kind of fun and dainty and cute yeah princess and the pea a little bit it is okay so this is about mattresses well is it about the mattress i can't wait to find out we'll see this is coming from r slash aio basically am i overreacting okay am i overreacting for disliking my boyfriend's gift me 21 female and my boyfriend 33 male uh no sorry absolutely not i know that's not the subject but no i don't like something i don't forget the gift i don't like something that's happening you're like everyone's voice is what they they sound like in their cars at the gym they're like nope immediately no i do i feel like i'm listening to this podcast in my car going no on the freeway oh my god okay and she's just asking about the gift yeah okay had our one year anniversary yesterday so since you were 20 so since you were 20 you've been together okay i got him several things that i knew he'd like and had mentioned over the past several months i wrote him a thoughtful long note and i bought him flowers he got me 20 lilies and wrote a three-sentence note and we went to dinner i like flowers but i have told him several times over the past several months that i do not like roses or lilies when he gave me my gift i managed to contain my disappointment and i told him i liked the flowers and note after he gave me my stuff he opened a 215 pillow that he had bought himself what parentheses his main hobby is mattresses and pillows and he said i don't like roses and i don't like lilies and i told him i like flowers and bedding we drank a little bit at our dinner so honestly this kind of triggered me and i had started tearing up but gave another excuse for it he kept pressing me as to why i was upset and i told him that there were several cheap things that i had mentioned that i would want as gifts the past several months and i got a type of flower that he should know i don't like i also said i was upset that he got me nothing but i had to watch him open an expensive thing he bought for himself for the 10th time that month after this happened he threw the flowers he bought me at me and started yelling about how ungrateful and how i was a bitch i just went upstairs after that and he slept in the living room for context i make significantly less money than he does he makes four thousand plus every month and we live in a low cost of living area he regularly buys himself expensive things and has a mattress hobby that he has spent thousands on just buy new mattresses and sheets and pillows there are six mattresses in our little apartment just last week he bought over three hundred dollars worth of sunglasses and a twenty one hundred dollar bar of silver a silver bar this spending is typical for him i will add a photo of the mattresses so people don't think i'm trolling my main issue is that i was thoughtful for him and spent my minimal money to buy him a mattresses and sheets and pillows and pillows and mattresses and mattresses and mattresses and one of the things that i'm most proud of about him is the fact that he's been so kind to me and he's been so kind to me and i'm so proud of him and i'm so proud of him and i'm so proud of him a year is a special milestone in a relationship i feel like he pays no attention to me or my interests and doesn't know me as a person. None of the things I wanted were expensive at all. I just would have felt seen if he remembered what I liked and got me it. I told him these things and he called me ungrateful. Am I overreacting for not liking the gift? Can I see a picture? Oh, you know I'm getting it. And I believe you. What? Describe it for the people. There are three mattresses stacked next to a bed with one mattress on it. So there's a stack of mattresses higher than the bed right next to the bed in a very small room. Oh my God, there's five. There's one leaned up against the wall. You're right. I think this one is a Casper too. Like their Casper is a pretty nice mattress. These look like nice mattresses. They all do. Look at how thick that one is. And they do look different. What year was this? I must know. So this is from August 28th of this year, a couple of days ago. What? A couple of days ago. This is happening now? Literally now. And you have an update? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. So we could actually make a difference. We could definitely make a difference because that update might, I don't know what the update is. I have not read it. It could be like, you guys are overreacting. He's actually just like a super nice guy. No. I think it's weird to say that buying mattresses is a hobby. That is not a hobby. That is a hoarder. That is a hoarding situation. A hobby. If you want to say mattress hobby, that would be like, we like to go to mattress stores and try them out on Sunday afternoons. I'll give you that. A lot of people, that is all they pull from this. His main hobbies are mattresses. That is what people are talking about. Yeah. They got a little lost in the age, not the gifts. Wow. No. Um, let's, let's talk about the age. Yeah. Let's talk about it. I don't think, you know, when I was younger, I don't think I really understood age gaps. That's kind of like my actually nevermind because it's like, I'm, I'm 18. I'm mature enough to be dating a 26 year old, 28. No big deal. Sorry to OP. We've all done it. We've all done it. We've all done it, but we don't mean to be judgmental. 20. And then we're not judging. We just like, we want so much more for you. Yes. And he is not, uh, an ungrateful person. He's not an ungrateful person. He's not an emotionally, mentally ready to date any one person. If when you try to explain your feelings, he then says you're an ungrateful bitch and throws flowers at you. And let me tell you something, no offense to anyone who's 21. If you are 21 and someone in their mid thirties wants to date you, they want to date you because they think you are not going to have any expectations of them. That's why they're not dating someone who is their age, because someone their age, would have expectations. So when you start to have expectations of them, they're going to get angry and throw flowers at you. Cause they're going to go, you're 21. You're not supposed to know to ask for more. That's why I'm here. No shits now hitting the mattress. Like I can't buy my silver bars. I can't go buy my silver bars. Mattress is the craziest thing I've ever heard in my life. I mean, I've heard about buying gold bars. Everyone now is like, don't even invest your money in the stock market. Buy a gold bar, not financial advice. The least financial savvy person, but I've heard gold bars, but silver. That's so, I thought silver was in coins. I want to see a picture of the silver bar too. We don't have that. I wish. I wish. That's what I want a picture of. I believed the mattresses, the silver bar. I just, I believe her. I just want to see it. Well, it could potentially look like this. I Googled silver bar, one kilo. Literally. What is that for? Collecting. Oh my God. Okay. Collecting. So everyone in the comments is focused on the mattresses. Yeah, they really did. It feels like they got a little lost in the sauce there. People do question, is this rage bait? Like age gap. You're already living together. It feels like rage bait. Mattress hobby. But I really don't think it is. I think this is someone that, because I've been this person where you start dating someone and everything feels so great and perfect. And then it, you know. You keep buying mattresses. One mattress too many and the camel's back gets broken. Like, it's just like the rose colored glasses has come off. Yeah. And like, again, 20. Oh my God. A 32 year old wants to date me. I'm such an old soul. Like a lot of us have been in those shoes. 1000%. So I don't think it's rage bait. I do think it's someone coming and being like, this is probably the first real relationship she's had. Doesn't have anything to compare it to. And is like, am I overreacting? Like, please help. No, you're underreacting. You're dating a weirdo and you need to get out of there. Yeah. So interesting thing about this one, we do get an update, but it is from the boyfriend. He found the post. I hate this man. I hate, you're kidding. Okay. Let me, let's hear it. Hi everyone. Since this person has glamorized and made me look a specific way, which was tailored to engineer the public view. To her side of the situation, I decided to create an account to clarify some things, which will be listed below mattresses. The bed we sleep on affects every other part of our lives. If we sleep improperly, we have chronic quality of life inhibitor, which will cause a person to have a shorter, more unhealthy life and inhibit their overall productivity and their lives as a whole. When I first started researching them, I realized it was a huge rabbit hole. It took forever to pick the first one for our apartment. And I realized it's probably like this for many others. It's just hard to know what to pick. And if you pick the wrong one, you're stuck with this massive thing in your house. That's ruining your quality of life. Let me clarify that. I acknowledge six mattresses is ridiculous. It's just a thing that built up over time. As I learned the different ways they are constructed, multiple of the beds, I got were for heavy discounts. I was very interested in learning the properties of different layers and how they affect our sleep. He's still talking about it, which is also the case for pillows. Okay. The girlfriend criticized my hobby, but in our free time has repeatedly told me she loves sleeping on my bed and uses my pillows for comfort. I like seeing her sleep well on my beds. Make her feel better, which despite how stupid she says it is, she still sleeps awesome on them. And that always made me happy. Another note, I'm not attempting to absolve myself of the matter of fact that it is kind of hoarding. Thank you. Once again, as I learned about how things are put together, it started to interest me how different companies construct different things that we use to improve our lives. My first ever hobby was health and nutrition. What is going on? Are you serious? It's never ending. He goes on to talk about just like how our bodies work and herbs, foods, vitamins. I've helped many other people improve their health. I'm like starting to be like, are you starting a mattress MLM? I'm really scared. He basically blabs on, but does kind of end on, I'm planning to decrease the amount of bedding items in my apartment. But the thing is, this wasn't supposed to be the entire internet's business. I didn't realize that I was living with was the type to tell the entire internet everything about me. I work all the time and I only have one friend in person who I can hang out with sometimes. So when she, the girlfriend, is not around, I become extremely lonely and I have nothing to do. And I recognize mattresses might be ridiculous, but the fact is I sleep better than I ever have in my life. She has been and anyone else who has listened to me about what to do sleeps better than they ever have in their lives. That's a big accomplishment. She can't say she's helped anyone sleep better, by having this information. Instead, the guy who helps people all day gets criticized on the internet. Okay. He's probably listening to this. So we should probably just say, I think you're right. I think you're right. And you should break up with her. I do. I think you should break up with her. Dump her. She's dumped. So now not understanding her free. I mean, loose your passion. Let her go. You're so right. And you know what? I don't know what it's like to be posted about on Reddit with pictures of my mattresses. And that sounds, that sounds bad. That sounds like it sucks. How invasive. That sounds invasive. If I saw pictures of my unmade bed online, I would actually probably feel upset. So I do, I can, I can see it from that perspective. Only also for someone that collects pillows, he only has one pillow on his bed and there's no top sheet. So clearly not a bedding connoisseur. Look, it's, thank you very much. Well, I think what we've learned is that the two of them are well-suited for each other and that they're both focused on the mattresses instead of the relationship, it seems. I think, well, I think she brought up the mattresses to, to show that he spends a lot of money. Is that what it was? Yeah. Because if she had just talked about the anniversary gift, I think people would have been like, yeah, no, we're on your side. That stinks. Yeah. But I think she was trying to cover all her bases and be like, no, he spends money on things. It's not that he's not trying to spend money or something. He's not cheap. he's not frugal it really the the mattresses really got us away from the original ask which was about the gift he does he talk about does he address that he does go on so he goes on to say so excuse me for not picking out the right flowers i have a lot to remember and focus on i did not pick that bouquet of flowers in an effort to insult her i spent 15 minutes looking at the available options and like the ones i picked for her because of how beautiful lively looking and colorful they were it was not my intention to make her feel inferior as i did not care about her this is how she interpreted it i figured dressing up going to an expensive italian restaurant me putting on my favorite fragrance for her then spending 70 there so we could have a good time was a nice gesture for her we had driven the whole day beforehand we were tired but i still wanted to try and do what i could to make the day fun for her she also included i only wrote a three i put my feelings into that and it was not three sentences what are we doing competing to see who does better for the other i was supposed to spend and buy more than she bought me so she wouldn't feel upset she said i threw the flowers at her i did not throw them at her i hit the table with them because apparently this bouquet of flowers that was beautiful and vibrant that i thought hard about to pick i spent 15 minutes looking through all the options was not good enough i even spent 16 on a 12 pack for us to drink for the day i was supposed to spend and buy more than she did so we could have fun together which also if i threw the flowers at her how come only her foot got hit by them i am so glad i'm single this because look these are the type of fights that you have when you're in a long-term relationship and there's an anniversary and people's expectations aren't met and one person thinks they did a good job and the other person feels like they didn't do a good job and then the other person gets mad like this is this is a very common fight in relationships and it just sounds as though you two are not compatible and that is okay it's time to be done it's just time to be done because when you get into these fights and i've been there when you're having these fights or you go well how could you feel that way because they did xyz and they go well how could you feel this way because i did xyz and what you said isn't exactly what happened and like it's once you're getting down to to that stuff it is i think it's over i think it's over i mean this is just a deranged when you're both on reddit yeah you're fighting in reddit posts it's over guys it's done yeah i will say this is giving very real account the original account from the girl yeah very real account a part of the two-year club on reddit verified email posting in nathan subreddits nathan felder okay wait so then is the boyfriend account brand new so boyfriend does appear to have made a throwaway to kind of come and respond to this how do we know that's really the boyfriend you know there's no guarantee but i will say op did not reply back to this person and be like this isn't you so okay i also think providing the additional info of like italian restaurant i spent 16 on a case of beer like these are details that i think op then could be like where are you getting this like that never happened so there's no rebuttal okay so is that post under her post it's a response to her original post okay got it got it got it she also confirms here in a comment it got deleted because he didn't know how to format it for this subreddit it was a bunch of rambling about mattresses and how they impact our quality of life and how i suck and i'm ungrateful if he makes a new one i'll tell him to format it correctly so basically is confirming to format it correctly yeah op is like all he had to do is get me yarn op is very involved in r slash crochet subreddit she just wanted yarn just wanted a yarn yarn ball simple i feel like you could have i was gonna say joanne's but r.i.p that's the saddest thing i've ever heard again all i wanted was a ball of yarn just wanted some yarn yarn couple of little basket again she got him something that was two hours but she got him something else it was two hundred dollars nice card well his pillow was two hundred dollars oh she got him a two hundred dollar pillow he bought that for himself oh okay so they both got each other flowers they did and a card i thought she got him a gift she got him a thoughtful long note and got him flowers it seems like she's kind of a gift giver like that's her see and you know what that is a great your so right this is a difference in love languages yeah some people really care about gifts other people don't it sounds like you really care about gifts and that's completely okay yeah and someone else and he really cares about mattresses and someone else will really like that that's cool there is there is truly someone for everyone i really believe that yeah i think that i do too whatever you want you can find that if you're determined enough i'm with you i completely agree not a match you're 21 go live your best life go find a boy that maybe wants to go learn how to crochet with you and i don't know or buys you yarn at the very least yeah and you know what time to go yeah there will be a woman who comes over sees how many mattresses there are and be like this is awesome yeah seriously we'll be like can i try them all out right now let's build a fort let's build a fort literally this is what i'm saying yeah and it look a lot of men don't care how well you sleep that's true someone might get off on that you care about how you care about how i sleep truly like some people don't you know yeah a lot of men don't care about how how nice their mattress is so that's i'm trying to have a balance no i i like your you're bringing back that hopeful from your first time here and it's it's very very positive it's mostly the age gap that i take issue with if we're being totally honest it just seems like a big age gap and it it also is like i think the issues are a reflection of the age gap like at 21 you want a nice gift you want jewelry from your boyfriend at 33 you want a good night's sleep i think that that is i truly think yeah no oh i think a 33 year old woman which is basically me would love somebody who was like i want a really nice mattress and we'll go to a nice dinner like that is a 30 something situation and then when i was 21 yes i wanted flowers and i wanted a gift and i wanted more than three sentences in a note at 30 something i have different priorities i really think it's down to the age i would agree with that i just yeah nope i can't i can't even i just i'm over it how long have we been talking about this because i feel like i can't remember a time that i didn't know about this it's it's too long and this next one i feel like we'll cut it down we'll edit it down you're also gonna wish that you didn't know about this oh no this episode is brought to you by vinted season is changing time to clean out that closet and maybe make some extra money in the process vinted is a second-hand marketplace app where you can sell your clothes you no longer wear and get more value out of your wardrobe it's super simple to use and with no selling fees so you keep what you earn give your clothes a second life with vinted download the vinted app for free to start listing with no seller fees this episode is brought to you by cash app i myself have fallen for a scam thought i was getting a really good deal on tickets and bam i sent the money and i didn't get my tickets there's so many common scams these days and finding all the red flags can be hard that is where cash app comes in keeping your money safe from fraud deserves to be a priority and cash app treats it that way with security lock cash app requires a successful face id or biometric authentication to access your account it's like your money is protected by your own personal bodyguard even if your phone is locked up and you're not able to access your or stolen plus if you're about to send money to someone new and cash app notices something looks a bit off or that you might be falling for a scam it will send you a warning before the money is sent to confirm that everything looks right download cash app and spend with peace of mind today download cash app today and make your money work for you cash app is a financial services platform not a bank banking services provided by cash apps bank partners visit cash app.com slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures this episode is brought to you by chrysler life with kids is basically a never-ending series of plot twists one minute everyone's buckled in the next someone's dropped a snack lost a shoe or needs a bathroom break immediately that's why the newly designed chrysler pacifica is built for real life with thoughtful features like stone ghost seating hands-free sliding doors and passenger seating up to eight it helps keep everything moving because family life isn't about the perfect moments it's about making the most of any moment visit your local dealer or chrysler.com to learn more and schedule a test drive today. Chrysler is a registered trademark of SCA US LLC. Oh. And now it's time for STFU, please. Brought to you by Chrysler. We all know a person or two who just sometimes needs to STFU. Luckily, the newly designed Chrysler Pacifica gives it a much nicer meaning. Seats that fold up with stow-and-go seating and storage. Storage that's finally useful thanks to all that cargo space and sucked that from under with the available stow-and-go vacuum. is someone that maybe could have benefited from an STFU, you decide. How big into potatoes are you? Are you a potato girl? I like potatoes. What style? I like a sweet potato. Okay. Is that good for this? That's perfect. Okay, great. So this is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Saying My Boyfriend's Mom's Mashed Potatoes Are Weird? So this is so stupid, but now it's a whole thing. I've been with my boyfriend for five years and his family does Sunday dinner a lot. I go most of the time. It's whatever. Last weekend we're there and his mom made mashed potatoes. I grab some. Cool. I take a bite and immediately I'm like, question mark, question mark, question mark. Why are these sweet? Not like a little sweet, like actually sweet. So I just go, quote, wait. Are these sweet? Kind of laughing because I thought maybe I was losing it. And she goes, yeah, that's how I make them. I just said, oh, I've never had sweet mashed potatoes before. Like I'm not trying to be rude. I was just confused. And it got awkward for no reason. Dead quiet. I tried to just eat them anyways, but I genuinely couldn't. It tasted like dessert with gravy and my brain was not having it. So I just stopped eating them and kept eating them. The rest of it. She then notices and goes, quote, you don't like them. And I said, they're just a bit sweet for me. And then my boyfriend jumps in like, they're not even sweet, which question mark, question mark, question mark. They literally are. And then his mom makes a comment like, quote, some people just aren't used to real cooking, which kind of annoyed me. So I said, I just didn't expect mashed potatoes. To taste like cake. And yeah, that did not go over well. Dinner got super awkward. We left. And in the car, my boyfriend says that I embarrassed him and I should apologize. But like, I wasn't even rude at first. I only said that after she made that comment. Now she's upset and acting like I started something. I don't know. This feels so dumb. But am I actually in the wrong here? Edit to add. I'm 23. These were normal russet potatoes that tasted like there was a lot of brown sugar added to them. I have somehow avoided eating these monstrous potatoes for five years because normally we either have roasted potatoes or do a potluck style. And boyfriend's sister-in-law brings the mashed potatoes. I'm not from the U.S. We are all from Canada, born and raised. Everyone's from Canada? All of them. She just liked a sweet. Okay. That really, that makes a lot more sense. Because I was like, why does everyone think that's a rude comment? And it's because Canadians are so nice and so polite that you saying, oh, that's interesting. I've never had them that way in Canada is probably the equivalent of like flipping the potatoes off. You think? I think they're so nice over there that that probably felt really mean and aggressive. But I because I was very confused. I'm like, who cares if someone's like, oh, I've never had them that way. Now, maybe you said it differently, but the way you wrote it. Yeah. It doesn't sound that crazy. This feels chill. And then, yeah, the cake comment was a little that was a little rude. But the cake comment came after the mom said some people just aren't used to real cooking. And that's the moment where you go, yeah, I guess not. Who cares? Are you able to bite your tongue? I think so. Now I am. Maybe not when I was younger. When I was younger, at 23, probably not. I'm having a hard time at 32. Really? I don't know what's gone into me. I feel like I used to be very just like, don't rock the boat. Go, you know, be soft, be malleable, be what's that? That little, you know, Jules, very demure, demure, very mindful. See, I think maybe we've switched places then because I think you either spend your younger years trying not to rock the boat and then you get older and then you're annoyed. I'm annoyed and resentful that you have placating people. Yes. And I spent my younger years saying everything, being embarrassed and feeling bad. And now I'm like, you know what? It's not worth it. I need to get back to that place because now I'm just like, God, I'm getting like a little argumentative. And it's like, it doesn't matter. You're not going to see that person. They live across the country from you. It's fine. Yeah. And I'm just like, oh, my God, just shut up. I'm just tired. I'm too tired. I only have one mattress at my place and I'm getting old and I just don't. I. It. I have to care so much to fight about something now. I just don't care that much. I need to get back there. I need that inner peace again. Is it inner peace or is it just kind of like exhaustion? I surrender. It can come by means of exhaustion. Exhaustion. But it does bring inner peace. Yes. Like, I do think depending on the situation, obviously, there's a lot of nuance and context, whatever. But like in general, like. Otherwise, because like I still say this shit and then I go home and I'm like, God, was that bitchy? And then you ruminate on saying something. It's like I'd rather ruminate on not saying something than saying something. Yes. And just making the relationship even more tense and just like. Yep. Is this a moment she should have STFU'd? I think. Just shut up. I mean, we can only do we can only move forward. Right. OK. Just apologize. Who cares? Yeah. Just say sorry. Yeah. I didn't mean to. I'll be the bigger person. Yeah. So who cares? OK. Do you think. Or dumped him. Asshole or not. Option B. Yeah. I think everybody got too worked up about these fucking potatoes. Yeah. This is a big deal. Maybe it's like a grandma's recipe and she's just deeply offended. I think I think that it seems like the mom is pretty sensitive and that's probably something to flag if this is somebody you're trying to like marry because. I mean, him being like, you need to apologize. You embarrassed me is very different than going, look, my mom's sensitive about her cooking. Just just maybe say sorry. The next time we're there. Like, I know I don't think you were being rude either. But but him being like, you embarrassed me. I don't know. Why are you embarrassed? That's an interesting feeling to unpack from him. Like, why are you embarrassed? But it's also you're on your mom's team and not mine. Yes. The way you put it, if he would have came to her like that, then it's like you're still on my team. Yes. But like, ah, babe, like, let's just not rock the boat with my mom. Like, she's a little goofy about her potatoes. Yes. My mother is a perfect angel and you embarrassed me in front of her is. Red flag. Oh, it's a little scary. Overall comments. They think not the asshole. OK. They're like, not the asshole. That sounds like a crime against mashed potatoes. I mean, yeah, look, I doesn't sound good. I mean, I'm on your team as far as the recipe goes. But it's who cares? Well, a lot of comments do point out the politeness. Like, oh, well, just be polite to take a couple of bites. O.P. did take a couple of bites, really gave it a go, said I can't get my brain on board, so I'm just going to not eat them rather than gag at this table. And then the mom brought it back up again, just stirring the pot. So I don't think not like no assholes unless the mom being a little cheeky. A little like sensitive. Yeah. No assholes. It's just like, come on, guys. So we do get an update on this. Of course. Wow. Not the update I thought I'd be posting. I talked to my boyfriend again and everything because it was still bothering me, mostly how he handled it at dinner. It kind of turned into a bigger conversation than I had expected. Basically, I realized that this isn't the first time he's sided with his family to avoid conflict and left me to deal with it. I think I've just ignored it before. This time it actually got to me. We ended up arguing about it and it brought up a bunch of other stuff that we probably should have talked about a while ago. Long story short, we broke up. There we go. It wasn't really over mashed potatoes, but that situation definitely made me look at things differently. I know that probably sounds dramatic to some people, but after five years, I didn't really want to keep brushing stuff off anymore. Wow. I'm surprised it's been five years. That sounded like something that happened early on. That you go, oops, keep an eye on that. Wow. That was a nice one. I liked that one. That was relaxing. I'd love for people to ask, why do you break up mashed potatoes? Yeah. His mom puts sugar in potatoes. Just a crime against food. It's so weird. Poor potatoes. Maple syrup? You wouldn't put sugar in it. Be like maple syrup. Sweet potato, yeah. Sweet potato, yeah, but this wasn't sweet potato. No, russet. Hilarious to post an update and be like, these were russet potatoes. Before anybody says anything. Are you ready to put your family first and drive into the future with confidence? Check out the newly designed Chrysler Pacifica. Visit chrysler.com to learn more. Chrysler is a registered trademark of S-C-A-U-S-L-L-C. Thanks, Chrysler. So this next one, coming from our very own Two Hot Takes subreddit, so one of us. Yeah, family, family. Yeah, hey, we see you. It is. Pretty recent. Okay. And it is titled, Am I the Asshole for Putting a Pregnancy Test in the Mailbox? I think that's. that's a crime like like just loose you're gonna find out oh my god buckle up baby what a great title let me give you some backstory first i 30 female have been married to my husband 32 male for 11 years now we have two children together and we went through a rough patch about a year ago but we've been working on things or so i thought i work full-time go to school full-time to finish out my degree, take care of the kids, and do all of the housework, without help, mind you. He works long hours, so I try to be understanding of that, but now that I'm typing all of this out, I've realized I'm literally his mother at this point. He doesn't do a single thing to help me. Now that you get the dynamic, last week I came home to our neighbor coming over asking if we could talk. This was my first time meeting this neighbor, so I was all for introducing myself and getting to know her. When I introduced myself as wife, her face dropped. Come to find out, my lovely husband has been having an affair with the neighbor. There's security camera footage of it too. He had been working that whole weekend, and I just sat there with this information because it's also not the first time he's cheated. I called him out on all of this, and I blocked her number from his phone and deleted her. After a few days went by, I decided to go through his phone. He unblocked the neighbor, and she had messaged him saying that she's late. He lied to her, saying he had a vasectomy, so she can't be. She must have blocked him after she freaked out on him. After I cried it out and gathered myself, I've been pretending like I haven't seen anything or gone through his phone, and I've just been holding on to this information. I got my hands on a positive pregnancy test, and I put it in our mailbox, He had a package coming in tomorrow, so I know he's going to look in there, and I'm going to wait and see how bad he panics, because not only did I find him cheating on me with the neighbor, but two other women as well. Yes, I am leaving, I have the divorce papers filled out, and told my attorney to wait to serve them until I'm out of the house, but I wanted to send him into a panic first. So am I the asshole for creating what I am sure is going to be a lot of trouble? I'm not going to wait and see how bad he panics, of drama and panic for him. No, that's amazing. I do want to know how you got your hands on a positive pregnancy test. Facebook Marketplace. Let's go right now and see what we can find. Are you kidding me? Yeah. The way you said that, chilling. I've never done it. I'm just assuming. Chilling. You can find sourdough starter on Facebook Marketplace. You are comparing a positive pregnancy test, a peed on stick with sourdough starter, you found one? Oh, yeah. Are you kidding? Oh, they're all over. We even have pregnancy confirmation ultrasounds for sale. What? Yeah. I'm going to see if there's any pee. I'm actually embarrassed I haven't thought of this. Am I naive? How much are they? No pee for sale on Facebook. That's surprising, actually. That is surprising. How much is a positive pregnancy test? Like 15 bucks. 15 bucks? Yeah. To send your husband into a spiral of panic? Nothing. That's a deal. Also, I feel like it's not that hard. I mean, like, I've got, I know a couple of people that are pregnant. I could be like, hey, can you just pee on a test for me? If you were pregnant, though, and your friend came to you and said, can I have some of your pregnant pee? Sure. You don't care? I'd be curious. And I'd definitely, I would, no, I'd be like, please tell me what happened after because I'm so ready to get that tea. Don't you feel like you would need all the information before you peed on that stick and gave it to them? Yeah, I'd be a little curious. But like, I've given a friend my pee for a drug test before in high school. So like, you know, what? Right. I guess it's the same thing. I'm going to flush it. Right. And it's for a good cause. But like, yeah, no, I'd be like, what do you want it for? Yeah. Like, I'm very curious. You can't just have my pee, no questions asked. Yeah, because I don't think like there's nothing dangerous you could do with my pee. Right. I don't know. I don't know enough about. As long as like my friend. DNA stuff. And it's like, I don't think my friends are that weird. Like, I wouldn't have to worry about someone wanting to drink my pee. They're not going to splash it on a crime scene. No, no, no. Can you DNA test from pee? Yeah. I know you can from vaginal discharge. You can DNA test from pee. Can you DNA test pee? I mean, yes. Yeah. OK, good. So that is I don't. Yeah. Now I've got to worry about potentially framing me for a crime. But if it's a trusted friend, an acquaintance off the street. No, no, of course not. No. But trusted friend. Yeah. Podcast giveaway. Maybe, you know. Yeah. I just don't even. Want to go down that rabbit hole. But if someone if one of you really needs it, send me a DM. But I'm not there yet. Now everyone's going to think I'm pregnant. I'm not pregnant. Not there yet. But when I do announce, you guys will know. And if you need a positive test. She wouldn't keep that from you guys. No, no. They're going to be the first to know. Yeah. Except my mom, because she's got to know for sure. She'd for sure kill me. But yeah, could have been from Facebook. Could have been from a friend. What's the update? You're just so ready. I'm so excited. Top comment, though. Not the asshole. Yeah, of course. But let this be your one and really satisfying slide down his level. Then climb back up with absolutely fan flippantastic memory of it and soar high over his head. You are in for a hell of a ride and there's no harm in what you are doing. That's nice. That's a lovely response. Yeah. OP does clarify best friend is pregnant. So didn't have to turn to Facebook. OK. Mm hmm. Got my hands on. Sounds like Facebook marketplace. Yeah. Yeah. Just say my friend's pregnant. Give me a pee stick. I would literally be if I needed this, I would be willing to post on my Instagram story and be like, does anyone is anyone willing to pee on a stick for me? Oh, yeah. I mean, but this person probably doesn't have your audience. No, but like I think even like before I started the podcast, I only had a thousand followers on Instagram. I feel like I could have got a couple of takers. Really? Yeah. I'm from Minnesota. Everyone's nice. Willing to help. Everyone's nice and probably pregnant. A lot of people are pregnant there. Yeah. Like everyone back home is pregnant right now. I'm just like, oh, my gosh. OK. I get it. I get it. You're giving me baby fever. Scary. Are you ready for the update? Yes. Sorry. It took so long to update. I've been working through quite a bit. I wanted to say thank you for the kind words. I really appreciate them. I wanted to clarify the whole pregnancy test thing in the mailbox. We have a drop style mailbox. You need a key to open the bottom slash back of it to get the mail out. So no one sees what's in there, nor do they really touch anything. It was also in an envelope. Oh, OK. He ended up grabbing it out of the mailbox that evening that I had put it in there. And to this day, he has not said anything about it. He did, however, reach out to six. Yes, six different women asking them about it. I went through his messages on his iPad before I left. And that's how I saw them. I had a doctor's appointment and I got checked out. Everything came back fine, thankfully. Here's where things get real interesting. He worked Friday all day. So I took the day off work and four of my friends with trucks came with their spouses and helped me clear out the house of all of mine and the kids stuff. The neighbor from across the street came over as we were on the final load to inform me that she was in fact pregnant and that she was freaking out and had ultrasound photos to prove it. My sister ended up kicking her off the property. I left my wedding ring on the counter and the sheriff served him divorce papers this morning. I know because he has been blowing up my phone about it, asking me why I haven't responded, nor am I going to. I communicate only when it comes to the kids. My heart hurts. I've been sick to my stomach. But even with all of this going on, I'm still going to be there for them. I'm going to be there for them. I feel like I can breathe again. The kids and I looked at a house. The owner is renting it to me until the divorce finalizes. I didn't want the house because I don't want to have to see her every day. I am, however, forcing the sale of the house. As for her seeing the kids and I around, she knew I lived with him. She knew the kids were ours. She knew we were in a relationship. The only thing she was under the impression was that we were not married and I was the girlfriend. This entire experience has been the most painful thing I've ever been through and something I would never wish on anyone. I'm fortunate enough to have a very strong support system. My sister and my best friends have been staying with me to help get me settled. And although there has been a lot of tears, there have been a lot of laughs that I haven't had in a really long time. Oh, that's not, I mean, that's really sad and that sucks so hard. But it sounds like she's handling it great. Yeah. And like has such a good support system village. Around her lifting her up. I can't imagine what this neighbor was thinking. Like, I'm just like, why would you do that to someone? No, that's so insane. It's so insane. Like at the very least, he has a girlfriend and those are their kids and they're living together. They're very serious. And like, you're going to go and do this. And now you are actually pregnant, which is just like, oh my gosh. I know. Is this episode called Dump Him? Like everyone got, everyone got, I mean, I guess we don't know about the mattress relationship. Nope. But everybody else broke up. Inconclusive. Wow. I know. Unlike their pregnancy test. Dude, now that you're locked in. Wow. You're locked in. That's crazy. This was a lot better than last time. Was it? Having the updates was really, really helpful. Did it feel better? Yes, it felt so much better. I was just left with so many questions last time. I walked around for weeks and everyone I came into contact with, I was like, tell me what you think about this. Okay. The secret room in the house haunts me. Does it still? Secret room haunts me. So I did have another story recently where the girlfriend learned about a secret room and it was like themed like a nursery because the guy had a baby kink. Sorry, that sentence took a turn in the middle. Yeah. That I did not foresee. So did he show it to her? She found it. She ended up getting showed the room after he came clean about his desire to be treated like a baby. Really kind of crazy story. And the brother was there. At the same time, too. It was like, okay, the brother was there while he was breaking the news to his longtime girlfriend that like, hey, I have this kink. And then she ended up like trying it. She couldn't get on board. And then the brother called her like 40 times and like shamed her for this. Okay. So secret room original is looking a lot better. It's looking a lot better. You know, a lot of people were actually on board with you where I was like, I kind of hate it. A lot of people were like, have a little whimsy. This is great. It's fun. And they did reveal the secret room. Yeah. They were like, hey, isn't this cool? We have more space during COVID. It wasn't like, you know, this horrible thing. Yeah. And there wasn't anything in there. It was just like Christmas lights. Storage. Yeah. Fine. Look, a space for us to dream. Yeah. Whatever. I still think that one was okay. Okay. You got time for one more? Yeah. Okay. This episode is brought to you by Billy. I don't know about you guys. But I get a little lazy in the winter. I'm in hibernation mode and I grow out my leg hair a little bit. But it's getting warmer. And now I'm excited for that first shave of the season. And if you are, then you got to get the Billy razor in your life. It's designed for how women actually shave. Legs, pits, toes, happy trail, wherever prickles decide to show up. It has five sharp blades and a pivoting head. So you can actually get everywhere without doing shower gymnastics. And it comes with a magnetic holder. So your razor stays dry on the wall instead of sitting in a shower puddle. Grab a Billy razor in your favorite color in store or at MyBilly.com. This episode is brought to you by Nintendo. Everyone's version of MeTime is a little different. That's why the Nintendo Switch 2 system is so fun. With exclusive and Nintendo Switch compatible games like Mario Kart World, Animal Crossing New Horizons, Nintendo Switch 2 Edition, Tamodachi Life, Live in the Dream, or Yoshi and the Mysterious Book, there's something for every vibe. And with upgraded hardware, play at home or on the go whenever the mood hits. Learn more at Nintendo.com slash Nintendo Switch 2. Games and systems sold separately. Some Nintendo Switch games may not be supported or fully compatible with Nintendo Switch 2. Games rated E for everyone. This episode is brought to you by Credit Karma. Breathe in. Now breathe out. You feel that? That's the calm. That's the calm. Having Intuit Credit Karma in your corner. If you're trying to get your life together in this crazy world, Credit Karma is a great place to start with the money stuff. Your credit score isn't just a number. It can unlock better rates, more options, and real savings. So whether you're moving, leasing a car, or upgrading your cards, it feels good knowing your credit is working for you. When you start to feel like there's too much on your plate, you can count on Credit Karma for less craziness and more credit. Last but not least. Okay. Coming from our friend, DirectCaterpillar77, so you know it's going to be good. Titled, Am I the Asshole for Making My Girlfriend Pump Her Own Gas? Oh, this is another fight that, you know, it's just like, it's over, guys. Since me, 28 male, and my girlfriend, 27 female, started dating, anytime she drove and had to get gas, I would pump it for her. Well, last week, she took me to work because her car does better in the snow than mine. When she came to pick me up from work, she was wearing, which were shorts with a long-sleeve button-up. She even wore her house shoes. I was embarrassed for my co-workers to see her like that. So when she stopped for gas to teach her a lesson, I told her my back was sore and she could pump it herself. She said it was too cold and she wanted me to do it. She's the moron that wore shorts. I stood my ground and she pumped her own gas, but wouldn't talk to me during the drive. We passed a sushi place on our way home, so I asked her to stop. She said no, but I kept persisting, and she finally said okay. She told me I would have to run in, so I did. When I came out, she had left. I told my brother because I needed a ride home. He gave me a ride home, but said that I was an asshole and that I deserved it. If there's any interest, I can update with what happened when I got home, but it doesn't seem to be super relevant to my question, so I don't see the need to add it. Am I the asshole? I'm going to need the addition. I'm going to need to know what happened. They're married or they're dating? Dating. Okay. Dating. And, I mean, a lot of people are like, yeah, you're the asshole. She's also, she's picking you up from work. Yeah. Like, she's already doing you a favor. You can pump the gas. And also, like, to teach her a lesson? No, this is so crazy. That's why I'm like, I want to know what he thinks isn't important to list, but, like. Like, you were embarrassed that your coworkers were going to see her sitting in the car? They weren't even going to see. Is she going to get out of the car when you get to work? And her pajamas? Probably not. Who's going to see her? No one's going to see her. What are we talking about? A lot of people were like, well, do you pay for the gas or does she pay for the gas? She pays for the gas. I just get out and pump it for her. She's able to work from home, so her schedule is pretty flexible. She owns the house and bills are 50-50. I just updated. I do understand how I came off now. And definitely. I definitely understand how I'm the asshole. Oh, great. Wow. Growth. So, are you ready for the update? Yes. If your partner, like, didn't get out of the car to pump gas for you, would you be offended? I've never been treated that well where someone always pumped my gas for me. See, I don't pump my gas. I also don't run in to buy my own coffee. I'll go with the car, but I'm wearing my sleep t-shirt still, and he's ready for the day. Yeah. He'll run in and get my coffee, and I just sit there. Watching my videos, doing my emails. God, that sounds nice. Sometimes I don't even have to take a car ride. He'll just show back up to the house with my coffee. Oh, my God. That's funny. No, I've never had a relationship where somebody took care of me like that. You guys. I don't think so. Have I? I don't think I have. Okay. Like, every once in a while. Well, you, yes. My sibling is pointing at themselves. That's true. But, no. It's actually something I run into in romantic relationships a lot, where because I'm so, like, self-sufficient, people kind of go, well, I didn't even know. I don't know how to take care of you. I don't know what to do. And so, then they don't do anything. Interesting. And I like taking care of people, and I'm, like, the oldest kid and all this stuff, so I'm, like, used to it. And I want to. Like, I want to take care of each other equally. Like, I want to run in for you. I want to pump gas for you sometimes. Like, I want to switch off. Yeah. But I think sometimes people kind of don't know. How to. How to with me. And to me, I'm kind of like, I mean, it's kind of just the same stuff everybody wants. Eldest daughter? Eldest daughter. Which, eldest daughter, and something I've come across recently is, like, eldest daughter wound, where, like, you are very independent, but you just want to be considered. Yes. Like, I don't care if, like, you've come to the decision for something on your own, but, like, just consider me. Hey, Morgan. Yes. What do you think about this? Like, in all areas, I just want to be considered. Yes. And it's not so much I need you to do all these things for me, but it's, like, the consideration. And that's. I think you're kind of in the same boat, seemingly, as me. Like, yeah. And most times, I just want people to offer. Like, I won't even. I won't even take you up on it most of the time. Yeah. Like, something that every single person I've ever dated, I've had to be like, no, that's not true. I've dated one person that drove me to the airport, like, no questions asked. Yeah. I think I've dated two that did so consistently. I go to the airport every week, and so my, like, ultimate goal in life is to find someone who will take me to the airport sometimes. And it's actually. It's so hard to find, if you can believe it. It's actually wild. It's. And I get it. Like, I have married friends who. Like, my friends who I've known for years, they will be like, oh, we don't take each other to the airport. Like, we understand that. Like, neither of us want to take each other to the airport. And they're married, and they're good with that. Yeah. Yeah. Like, there's nothing wrong with that. But for me, I am very self-sufficient. I'm very independent. One of the only things you can do for me is take me to the airport or pick me up. And I usually fly to Burbank. Like, I never expect anyone to take me to LA. Oh, my God. That's the easiest airport. I know. So I'm really like. I really. And I never expect anyone to take me early. Like, I just. If I ever met someone who was like, oh, I'll drive you to the airport tomorrow, I would marry them immediately, I think. I feel like I can find this person. It's tough. I feel like I could find this person. It might just be. Give me a list. I don't know. Of all the things I want in a person? Yeah, give me, like, top 10. Okay, I'm actually. Like, now? Or just write it down? Well, like, after the show. I'll email it to you. I mean, if you want people pitching their shot. I know. That's funny. You'd think with all the podcasts I've done, I would have put it out by now. But then that's the other thing is, think like maybe the things I want are too specific I don't know but then I don't know there is kind of I mean an occasional ride to the airport feels like a pretty low bar I know but to want it to be offered like without asking yeah because sometimes people think they're like well if you just want to ride to the airport you should just ask and I'm like yeah no of course but I would like someone who's like yeah do you want me to take you to the airport do you want me to pick you up would that be yeah you're independent but it still feels nice to be taken care of every now and again yeah just because like I'm naturally gonna take care of a lot of stuff like just by nature of like my personality and my career and like I'm in a position where I make enough money like all these things so you can do it but it's like it's nice to feel like you have a teammate or someone that at least cares about you a little yeah and that's what it is yeah yeah you want like a teammate yeah we're gonna find this person Burbank oh my god like I think I was three months in and my husband was picking me up from LAX really yeah and consistently still does and I'm like no no it's fine maybe it's just maybe you have to wait three months I don't know we're gonna before that was it before three months I that was the first flight I had while we were talking and that's the thing too because when I'm dating somebody if they need a ride to the airport I'm like oh here's my chance yeah to like show you what a good partner I am have you tried it yet take taking people yeah oh yeah absolutely but it's not reciprocated not always no but they always appreciate it yeah everyone loves a ride to the airport we're gonna find your person we're gonna find them we'll see we'll see so update she pays for her own gas she didn't get out of the car but she doesn't have tinted windows and I didn't expect her to dress up I did expect her to not look like a bum though I'm still reading comments so I'll add stuff that gets asked a lot to this and try to respond to others now for what happened when I got home we live in a fairly rural area and I work about 35 to 45 minutes away apparently my brother called my mom who then called my girlfriend and told her what I said this did include me calling her a moron and saying how embarrassed I was when I got home my girlfriend had moved all of my clothes and belongings into the junk room I tried to talk to her but she locked herself in our room and ignored me his mom called her to be like my son's a dick yeah what happened or to like admonish her for showing up in her place I don't know what happened I don't know what happened I don't know what happened I don't know I think mom wanted the tea oh my gosh when I finally got her to talk to me she basically listed everything I've done wrong in our relationship this past week has been hell she wouldn't take me to work when it was snowing so I had to take myself and my car got stuck twice I missed two days of work because of her pettiness I really didn't think I was the asshole here but I tried to justify and explain myself I did admit I was trying to teach her a lesson and we broke up when I got home from work she had all my belongings in boxes by the front door and I guess that's that I really didn't think I was the asshole but obviously that's why I posted here everybody that wanted us to break up got what they wanted I'm not sure if my update is too relationship based so if this gets taken down I apologize okay obsessed with her mm-hmm that's crazy OP even loses it so far to post another post it's titled can I take legal action against my girlfriend for kicking me out what yeah so he still didn't learn his lesson after all oh my gosh yeah wow well I'm really glad everyone broke up for the most part yeah I think that's why this was so satisfying yeah got answers we got closure his mom is mad at him mom is kind of giving him a new what's that saying biting his ass no what's that one saying ripping him a new one yeah well that's why I was like did the mom call to tattle on her son or to be like hey dress nice when you drive my son somewhere because I wasn't sure which way that was gonna go mm-hmm after the last mom one yeah mom was pissed at him and said that she raised me to never mistreat a woman so in her eyes I mistreated my girlfriend good mama was after his ass which sometimes your boyfriend's mom has your back yeah I love women yeah this was good this was awesome this was thank you for having me unreal amazing you are just so on it as always I had a lot of feelings about all of those I will say it's very reactive I feel like I should go post on reddit did I overreact no to these no I think the reactions were definitely appropriate okay good definitely appropriate okay great I'll listen back to it and make sure I just all I remember this emotion surging through me they're very powerful I mean the mattress one the backpack the backpack the backpack was tough for both of us can you imagine finding the backpack story 10 years ago and just waiting every year for it to come back to you and you're like oh my god I'm waiting for an update no and like still and if you had done that to me you would have never seen me again there is a story I just don't even want to tell you because it will keep you no tell me no don't no tell me it's the story about this woman finding a box in her fridge and she asked her husband and she's like what's this box in our fridge and he's like did you look in there she's like no it's no I didn't look in the box like but what's in the box and he's super weird about it and everyone of course on reddit is like drugs drugs or maybe it's someone's finger is he working for the mob so everyone just starts spiraling and she's like don't worry guys like I'll come back and update you I'll be back never came back so what's in the box it was so powerful I put it on a tote that we sold still no update what's when was that four years ago what's in the I'm literally I wish you hadn't told me that why did you tell me that you told me tell you yeah but you know better you know better than to tell me that you're gonna go home tonight you're gonna forget all about it no I'm not secret room haunted me well I mean it's just a box it was probably just like canned olives or something I think he told her it was olives I don't know where I'm getting all you know it's not you know it wasn't all it could be maybe he's got like diabetes secretly and it's insulin and he's just doesn't want to tell her yeah maybe never know and I feel bad it's probably innocent yeah okay maybe she's out there listening right now where can people get your book oh my gosh you can get my book uh so many places but if you want all the links in one spot they're in my instagram bio at taylor tomlinson um but I think it's everywhere I think it's on barnes and noble and amazon and all the places I love it audible I read the audiobook yes you put it in your voice yep so you know we love an audiobook in this house I love it all of taylor's links will be in this description a link to buy the book will be in the description check it out it is so so so good I'm gonna be sharing if it's okay um a couple of my favorite quotes on the instagram post for this thank you there's one I like I kept like screenshotting it's like it literally has like do not copy across the page but I'm like it's just that's we'll get you an actual copy of it I'll take a picture of the real book yeah we'll get you a the book from your local bookstore if you can obviously do that I just listed all the most obvious places to get it but go shop small yeah yeah mom pop shops we love them too exactly if they have it if they have it and if they don't ask for it thank you guys until next time bye for adults with crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis symptoms every choice matters trimphia offers self-injection or intravenous infusion from the start trimphia is administered as injections under the skin or infusions through a vein every four weeks followed by injections under the skin every four or eight weeks if your doctor decides that you can self-inject trimphia proper training is required trimphia is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderately to severely active crohn's disease and adults with moderately to severely active ulcerative colitis serious allergic reactions increased risk of infections or lower ability to fight them and liver problems may occur before treatment get checked for infections and tuberculosis tell your doctor if you have an infection flu-like symptoms or need a vaccine explore what's possible ask your doctor about trimphia today call 1-800-526-7736 to learn or visit trimphiaradio.com this episode is brought to you by chat gpt hey it's bill simmons from the bill simmons podcast have you guys heard about chat gpt work it's the new way to use chat gpt for bigger multi-step projects and when you need more than just answers give chat gpt work access to your apps and files and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets slides and structured reports get started at chat gpt.com by selecting work mode available on plus and pro plans