MY WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER! -You Should Know Podcast-

[MUSIC] >> Hey everybody, welcome back to the Usano podcast episode one, 92 round of applause, please. [APPLAUSE] >> Kill, kill, kill, kill, oh my high, oh my high, get out of him, get him. >> Good, good, good, everybody, welcome back to Usano podcast episode one, 92. If you're a new here, if you're an already lookable, you subscribe, buzz and press, you're wrong. If you're giving more below, then you see that comment section isn't fulfilled with your name. Guess what, even more on go and fill that out, get your good karma. This is the Thanksgiving episode. Everybody say thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, oh, I'm so thankful. >> And the comments right now, if you didn't skip the intro, type in, I'm so thankful. You know what, I'm thankful for each and every single one of you that are clicking on this video. Every single Monday, sharing this with your friends and clicking that subscribe button because we are rounding that corner. Rounding that corner on one million subscribers and I am so thankful for that. And once we hit one million subscribers, we have a big present for you. So go ahead and hit that subscribe button. You know what else, what else I'm thankful for? The fact that we have a new link in the description. You wouldn't know what that link in the description is? A link to the new merch that will be available soon. >> [APPLAUSE] >> In the description right now, there will be a website for the new merch and it has a countdown. The merch will be available, but the place you can see the merch before the general public is the best place on earth and that is the Patreon Patreon.com/YouShinnoPodcast. We post an extra eight to nine hours of footage every single week over there on the Patreon, where you get all the behind the scenes. That's where you get sneak previews, that's where you get vlogs. That's where you get the ad free un-sensored version of this right here. We have a state fair vlog coming out. We have a Christmas games video coming out in December. We have the quality live streams. We got extended episodes. We got 10 minute talks, we have quality episodes. Everything you could have ever wanted and more is over there in the Patreon. No one has ever gotten the Patreon to regret it. So go over there and say what's up. We love you. Happy Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for you. Go and put that pie in your mouth, mama. That pie is so good. Now on to the rest of the episode. >> You should know podcast. >> We are GoHoseCab back in the studio. Let's go. >> How are you feeling today, buddy? >> I'm so thankful. >> Can I say something to you? >> Yes. >> You bring that micable, the base is so far. >> Yeah, it'd be pierced listers, folks. >> I go, it's this fault. 100%. >> I just want to say, speaks to me and my soul and my heart. Top of the podcast, I normally saw it talking about your hair cut or lack thereof. >> Yes. >> Your child. >> Your weight. >> Yes, something, not today, and how aggressively small your lips are when I get close. >> What do you mean? - Like, "What do you mean?" - It's like a little balloon now when I get up there. (laughing) - A little lips. - I feel like when you pucker up, it does. Example, I mean, that's a great day. (laughing) I can kiss a singular mole on my wife. I go, that's how I imagine you kiss. - That's how I imagine you kiss. - Yeah, that's how I imagine you kiss. - Oh, no, I'm not gonna say that. - But I'm not gonna say that. - I like this, I love it. - No, no. I feel like you don't have this. - Now her family watches this, my family watches this, our son watches this. - He doesn't watch it. - He doesn't comprehend, but he watches it. - Yes, that's true. - But he will one day. - And there is a lot you have to explain one day. - Oh, there's, I mean, there's more than a, there's more than I'm gonna have to explain to my seed. Then I feel most men will ever have to. - Oh yeah, 100%, I mean, he's gonna be like, "What do you mean when you said that?" - And that could be a wide, wide spectrum. - And you go, "You mean you like that new car you got?" - Yeah. - And you like those clothes? - You see that roof, right? Kinda blocks you from the rain and the sun? Yeah, shut up. - Yeah, sometimes daddy had to get spanked for care, right? - Yeah, so what I wore a tag ball on the tail. (laughing) - Well, I'm not gonna start this episode off making fun of you or your weight. - Are you sure? - I go, are you putting out the bulleted list of all the things you're normally talking about to kind of give shed in some light to them? I'm not gonna talk about your weight, your lack of lips, your disgusting hair cut, how you look, tired, dense, gray. I'm not gonna talk about it, you know what I'm saying? - No matter. - None of your financial instability, I'm not gonna talk about any of those things. - I'm gonna talk-- - I'm so-- (laughing) - It's still hurt. - I know I'm sorry about it. - God! - Yeah, probably, okay. - But, go. you this episode. Since this is the Thanksgiving episode I want to start this episode off by saying "I am." Oh my god! It's that hard? It's that hard for you to say. I'm gonna give you, I'm gonna- here we go. Yeah, here we are. Did you just put in a Like, he couldn't just physically go, I'm going to rewind. He plugged in a d-j-proof. Yeah, plugged in USB-C. Back left, you exact. I mean, switch. I mean, as you're getting older, the mental is to come. You know what? I'm going to give you one more fucking chance. Yeah, go ahead. For you to look at me in my soul, tell me you're thankful for me. Okay. You say, I'm very thankful for you. For our friendship, for our brotherhood, for who you are as a person. I thank you. And what you've done for me in my life. I'm thankful. Wow. You're welcome. You're turned. You're welcome first. Oh, thank you. I'm thankful for you too. Okay. What for? Huh? What for? Ooh. I'm thankful. I'm man, man. Dude. Remember that one time in college? I want you to know that you're going to be the reason I am above the legal limit of inebriation tonight. I want you to know that. How can I join? I don't know. No, but you know I am not sure. I'm in my bedroom under covers. Probably sweating. Yeah. That's going to drink. I am thankful that you gave me a nephew. Wow. Live like that. No, no, no, no. You don't talk over there. You don't get to say nephew. You're not thankful for me saving you from the depths of isolation and anxiety. And not talking to anyone's syndrome. Yeah. You're not thankful for that? No, I am thankful. I am thankful. I'm joking. I'm joking. I am thankful for Cam. So much of the fact I got you a gift for Thanksgiving. You know, I get me a gift for Thanksgiving. Yeah, why would you get me a gift for Thanksgiving? It's probably going to be a pumpkin pie. He's going to go. I didn't get you. He said, "I'm going to be a pumpkin pie." He said, "I'm going to be a pumpkin pie." He said, "I'm going to be a pumpkin pie." I didn't get you. I didn't get you. (laughing) - He filed, he kept saying, "Hmm." (laughing) - As the way you did it, you said, "Yeah, I got you." No, I'm thankful, but you know that literally thought that was gonna be like a singular slice of pie I was gonna go oh dude sick. I'll eat it and you're gonna go. Oh, I know you will And then I was gonna eat and you go how is the pie tubby that's in my mind. That's the track. We're gonna play it out That's the track we're going to know. No, I thank you. Yeah, I am thank for you. Let's play the next game one level up I love you. You're turned you too Did oh man, same. Oh, oh, give me a shot of the core and I'll get best It is so sad that you have to be under the influence to spew the three word combination. I love you I don't have to we could just perform He said, "I'm just kidding. You know I love you. That's a part of our game." He said, "Oh my God. You ever had a double prong down here?" He said, "Yeah." He said, "Oh my God. You ever had a double prong down here?" He said, "Oh yeah. I love it." But I'm like, "Ferring in the middle." I prefer it in the middle. I prefer it in the middle. So you're diving into an Olympic pool. It's like, "Pull." Yeah. That's-- That middle ground's where I live at. Oh, the middle-- Now the middle ground-- We was low-key trying to stay up. You can't decide that he's pulling me. That's too predatory. That middle ground-- I don't like that. Vonerable? No, not vulnerable. It's like it's giving creep. If I'm going-- if my middle ground's here, right? Yeah. And it's like you're kind of-- you're kind of straight as an arrow, but you're a little limp, too. Really? It's like-- that's-- predatory. That's weird. Okay, see, mine's not like that. Mine's just bassist-filled, but we haven't made it to the top of the glass yet. We haven't filled up that cup. The top's still wiggly-biggled. I think you have a bigger cup than me. [CLAPPING] I think you have a bigger cup than me. You have a 32-ounce cup. You got a tall drink in your Starbucks. I have 16.9 fluid-ounce water bottles. You have a-- Stanley. No. Oh, God forbid, and CJ has those gallant hooks. [LAUGHTER] CJ has the-- CJ has the five gallant hooks. You're going to fill up one mark. Look, and there's-- wait, two hours. Oh, man, what a way to start the thing. What a way to start the thing. For Thanksgiving it's one of my favorite times I obviously obviously you do. I mean look at you obviously you do I mean knowing it's gonna be like oh wow, can I share I've said this before but it's all it's it is Genuinely it's one of the saddest yet one of my the funniest things ever. Yeah, it's about my dearly beloved wife Yeah, what happened to her? I think about it's like a year or two years ago at this point Okay, we posted something around this time and this was during a phase of live that she was she was Just a little different right okay. She's a little differently. So she posted something on Instagram around Thanksgiving time Yeah, and someone did a drive-by comment That literally the whole comments. Oh my god. I love you girl. Yes favorite mama live Whoo and someone slid in there went Hit sin and left and it literally said you look like you eat Thanksgiving dinner every day and to this day It's like our inside joke like it hurt her. It's sugar to work I mean, that's a rough comment on it. It's a rough comment and then she showed me and I went Like no, that's sad man. It's so sad Oh, I know it's awful say But you do have to give credit to creativity Giving credit poor person create a comment is is that is my favorite thing like that genuinely is one of my favorite things Giving credit to people who did something bad rude whatever But I mean you just have to the creativity behind it. Yeah, that's great. Somebody said it looks like I get a migraine Every time I have a thought like and that's that's creative like stuff like that I get it man that it now. Oh now early days. Yeah, you were tripping over your words. I was a water slide You're like, oh, I mean you can't And I still get a little hint you do you're getting bet are you taking a course? No, I think it's just I think I'm As I'm getting older my manula Mondata is forming your pine cone and your kitchen booth What is it the kitchen cornpone and dip? Oh my god, they're all for me final yourself the dip. Oh big time big time So going to Thanksgiving holiday episode beautiful. Beautiful. I'm not too big on the actual like Thanksgiving dinner It's and by the way, I don't have Thanksgiving dinner at dinner time. What time do you have your Thanksgiving? No, it's a lunch per me Yes, and that might be the Caucasian side of me Right, I mean, we don't have a very diverse panel on the board Like you got one other person you can ask and if both the old answers combined equals one full answer Started diverse vagna Voldemort what time do you did you eat Thanksgiving as a kid? No, no nice half Olivia Olivia what time is it? Oh, see okay, see okay, maybe it's that so I we I would wake up your part of the ilk the eats at early like 11 I would wake up and it would be down there. I might go. Oh my god. That's even better waking up You smell it and you can go down smell yeast. Yeah, oh a little bit of a little bit of My oh my god grandma's down there. Oh, yeah, just wiggling all about. Oh my god Maybe now your grandma's actually very fit. She's very sick woman very put together Very I mean, she's incredibly in shape. It's unbelievable. She could probably run a marathon. Yeah, now Carol. No, she can't she can't she can watch one She can she'll be involved from the start to the finish. I mean she'll be Nope, oh, sorry. Yeah, beautiful lady in great shape for inner nine perfect if I didn't make it to 90s I I think I'll be 400 pounds. I'm just put that out if you make it to 45 Oh, you want to talk about making it to 45? You want to talk about making it to 45? You're flipping the coin right about now. I have no you've made it you've made a big turnaround dude But my immune system is like I've like a like a deer like it's bad. I have a really bad immune system Somebody's on me. I'm in the hospital. If someone sneezes on you. Yeah, it could be as simple as oh that was gross Yeah, but your mind will take me to somewhere else. You go. Oh my god. I have leukemia now like that's how that's How you that's how your mind works a a simple nine to five sneeze at a whole foods put you in stage four and that's just what it is Come on No, that's his what's the that's a that's a diagnosis. It's called a card of cardiovascular No, when you're scared to be a contract hyper contract. You are hyper you are the master of hyper contract Yes, I used to get grandfather was Peyton Stefan hyper-condra I used to get that necrophilia confuse and that's a hard thing to decipher like when you're explaining to somebody I'm a necrophilia and they'd be like you go no, I'm I'm deep in a necrophilia like it's bad Like don't have someone that's about to die around me I get the joke And then listen to food. I guess they're sick because you think they're sick. Yeah, no, it's that's a double-on-tongue Creativity you're good given given credit words do back to Thanksgiving back to eating at 11. I'm not to into the actual Thanksgiving dinner That's stupid. Well, I'm not you know what I always enjoy more if you say the right answer. I will give you a hug I enjoy leftovers more than the actual dinner. Okay, that's the wrong answer That's good the only the only answer that is that is acceptable that you enjoy more on the day of Thanksgiving On the day of thanks on the day of Thanksgiving. Yeah more than Thanksgiving meal is black Friday shopping. That's the only except way But we talk about that we talked about this last year. We went on a full 30-minute bender black Friday shopping's dead It's not the same it's not the same black Friday deals right now. Yeah, no, they've ruined it. No, they really have they started doing black Friday deals last week Yeah, I'm like what the it's just cap it's like it's Halloween But yeah, I'm going trick-or-treat in the night. What do you mean I can save 70% off? Yeah, but the fact you're saying you like let you're okay Let's just let's break this down break it down people that like leftovers more than the original meal right are weirdos You think so and I will stand on the hill leftovers hit the only reason you love the leftovers so much is because the food is so good in the first place No, leftovers are so good because you can enjoy that same dinner that you had before but whatever environment you want to exactly But it's the same dinner. No, it's soaked in its seasoning longer. It's soaked in its juices longer. It's also going to be re-heated By a by a metal box. It's not coming straight out to oven with your grandma's elbow grease in it. Yeah, that's love That's love determination and wiggles So you so you don't enjoy a pizza in the morning rather than a pizza right when you get it from the delivery? If someone shit, I enjoy a cold pizza after I hang over rather than a hot pizza at night. Okay, you had to throw in the booze You have to put the booze in there to make that make sense. There's no way in your right mind that you would rather order a pizza Get the delivery go appreciate man. Yeah, here's a five ball throw it in the fridge and tackle it tomorrow then eat it right then in there No shot. Yes, I would actually yes, I would yes, and I've done that and I do that with my chips You know what I do with my chips chips aren't a heated thing but technically left over no the fuck it's a chip But so you know what I like to do is I like to open up the chip bag and just set it there and I like for it to nook To nook. Ah, that's I'm a I'm gonna stay away. I'm a nuke No, you can't do it. Oh, you can't say. Oh that creativity is just sparking it But I was you go. Why do you go? Why do you have so much content on that one? Yeah, I have so much to say there's no Payton you're not You're not normal. You're not real and you're not of the majority. Okay, you are speak. You're that guy that like you're that guy It's oh nevermind. What? No, no, no, it's fine. Okay, but that wasn't even my initial thing my initial thing was How long do you eat leftovers for as long as they're there? I will eat them till they're gone. No way 100% you have a there's a tub of mashed potatoes and I go for a plate and I give me one or two servings There's gonna be as many plates made as there is mashed potatoes need to be so how long they're like how many days from the initial We put that in the fridge. Are you eating leftovers if there's mashed potatoes next Thursday? I'm having mashed potatoes No care for lunch. No, sir. Absolutely. I respect my elders and I respect the time they put it in the kitchen Respect your stomach, I will eat not good. We'll eat cowboy beans. What means cowboy beans? Cowboy, you know how cowboy beans you put beans with it with the handle like a Spurs To alter no cowboy beans is beans with meat and bacon and I don't know the name for it with a little bit and I like that I'll eat that for I will eat that. Told's gone. I put for those cold. Okay, so you're saying there's a time limit on leftovers 48 hours You have 48 to 72 hours So then what's all this nukin and and soak in and it's cream and juice if you're if it's two days max you get two days to enjoy That's stupid because at a certain point that's when the it's like a revolving clock It will get really good and then really bad after this Clock pendulum system you've been used you've been abusing it no the leftover is there especially a sacred meal leftover You eat it till it's gone. What's the longest What's the longest you've ate I left over for I chewed on hand from Thanksgiving two weeks prior two weeks post No, you did not sort of got meat meat two weeks can that can't have tasted it is protein It's a little 14 days 14 days on the 14th day you ate that two thirds it whatever like December 9th Yeah, that's what I had it. We're in the I'm getting ready to prepare for Christmas. I'm still eating on Thanksgiving hand. No, sir. That's where it was a massive ham She was the whole big like it was huge. Was that a choice or a poverty thing? It was definitely a choice I mean, I definitely could have grabbed me on a cracker and I said I want the ham It was definitely a young phase to I'm not going two weeks now. First off the the goal is there's not too many leftovers Right, there's enough towards valuable you get tomorrow's lunch. Maybe tomorrow's dinner. Yeah than you're done. But if there is enough for two or three days, I'm eating for two or three days. - But you should know podcast. - I don't wanna stand on things giving too long, but do you feel the same way? And we can out our families real quick. And I haven't said this to my family. But as you get older. - Oh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, we'll tag team this. - As you get older, your family's like Thanksgiving cooking, just does not fit the same. - Okay, I need to get it, take me in. I used to be obsessed with your green bean casserole and mom's bitch is average now. (clapping) See, I didn't tell nobody out. - Let me go. - Shut it. - Mom and your games don't get the same. I didn't say, that's what I gotta say. I gotta say, I don't know. I don't know. - Green bean bundles. - I don't know. - What the fuck did you just say? - Yeah, green bean bundles. - Oh, he gets this, like soup kitchen. (laughing) - That's not a Thanksgiving meal, bro. - Oh, that is. - That is, oh, I'm gonna refrain. Green bean bundles. I mean, that is, that has to originate from Arkansas. - No, I want you to understand what you're saying. The fact that you just said that, three human beings, four human beings from Texas and one from Oklahoma have never heard it. And you think it's this known thing. - Well, we can't look at it. - We'll do it on the extended. - Okay. - Never been a fan of cranberry. Never been a fan of the cranberry. Hate that. - I used to put my finger in it as a kid and go like that. - Make it jiggle. - Well, not like that. - Y'all see, y'all need help. - I used to go to the cranberry, go. (laughing) - There are my ankles. - You're used to the, your mom won't bite anymore of the cranberry. - Okay, I'll get some. (clapping) - I have a son. - Will you pass me the cranberry? (laughing) - Okay. - Oh, I was about to make a, I mean, an absolutely inappropriate joke. - But I won't. - But you agree that your family's Thanksgiving doesn't have to say, it's slowly dying, it's slowly gets worse. - Why do we do now? - I think we're supposed to take over the recipes, but I don't cook. - Oh yeah, no, I could not, I literally couldn't imagine going to a Thanksgiving hosted by you, by the way. - I actually, I can't even picture it in my head. - What does my Thanksgiving hosting look like? - No imagery, like I cannot imagine. - Try to, you walk in, there's nothing. - That's not thanks to you. - I plan on doing that Friday night. - I plan on doing that with my future family. I'm going to hire like a chef and you can come in and cook. - That is absolutely nonsense. That's like saying, I'm gonna hire someone to come buy my kids' gifts and wrap 'em. - Yes. - And then, yes, 'cause one day I'm just gonna hire pierces my personal assists and I'm just like, pierces go get my kids something. You know, go get them something. - You cannot be here. - But I'll give them a list. - I'm like, I know what my kid wants, I don't know what he wants. - That is, you're telling me right now, you're going to have a personal assistant that goes and buys your kids' gifts for Christmas. - Yes. - And then wraps them and then, if I had to guess. - Put 'em under the tree. Skip their own Christmas and be there for your Christmas morning and clean up the damage. - No, they can go home for their Christmas but then come back to clean up the. - Oh, what do you have? Living quarters? - No. - What do they stand on campus? - Put your personal home for your Christmas. - As opposed to what? That's where they live. - Well, you said, no, no, they can leave for the day. - Oh, and then come back. - I thought you were under the impression that they were staying in my house to watch my kids open presents. - What does sound like? - No, they're going home and then you come back to clean up the mess. - And an ideal world. - Oh, that's ideal. I deal with it and be, oh my God, I love my son so much. I know he launched this bay. Let's get that. What do you say? - I'm still getting it. - Let's get that. - Let's go wrap it. And then you watch the enjoyment of your son. You know what? Oh, oh wow. - I'm going to sit there and watch. - Oh my God, you're about two bad sentences away from being banned from Malachi's first birthday. - That's not true. That's not true. - I'll break it. - I will break it. - You go, I will blow that. - You'll spend $2,000 on balloons. I'm going to work it out. - No, we did not. - Oh my God, can I say something? - No, we did not. - Can I spend two grand. - No, we did not. - Look, look. So Malachi's first birthday. - No, we did not. - Don't you put that on my name. - Malachi's first birthday is coming January 21st, right? - Oh, good. - I said, what are y'all doing for Malachi's first birthday? Something small, something intimate at the house. So I'm thinking I'm going to show up because first birthday's are for the adults, right? Take pictures of the kid. But it's for the adults. You get to party, drink, whatever. The kid's not going to know it. - Either way. - He's like, I know what's going on, right? - So I was thinking, they were like, some small intimate we're going to go up to the house. I'm, okay, cool. I'm game for that. I'll bring him up. - Okay, cool. - We're going to go up to the house, I'm, okay, cool. I'm game for that. I'll bring him a little truck or something. Something cute. And then I'm getting up in the Kennedy manner. - There you go. - Then, Cam comes into the office. - He is. - Just traveled. Like, I mean, like, you would have thought he just got jumped outside. He was just, he's leaning over his desk like this. I go, I go, hey, Cam, baby, I can't wait. - Hey, Cam. - Hey, Cam. - Hey, Cam. How you doing? (clapping) - I say, Cam, what's going on, Bob? What's going on, baby? - Hey, baby girl. - Hey, go ahead, it's all right. - Hey. - I go, it's all right. He goes. - He goes, man. It spent a lot of money yesterday. - And I go, oh, you got a new watch. You got something new for the house. What happened? Like, there's a lot of money by a new couch. He goes, no, it's Malachi. I go, oh my God, what do you have a medical bill you have to pay for? - Still paying those off. (laughing) - $60,000. Oh my God, oh my God. My son, oh my God, son cost $60,000. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - No, no, it's $60,000. - And then the second one, oh my God. - Son cost $60,000. That's crazy. - Oh my God. - They got for insurance. No, no, no, no. It's all scam. If I didn't have insurance, oh my God. - Oh my God. - Okay. - No. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - There you go. Thank you. - Oh my God. - There you go. - Now, Cam comes into Shevel. Then I'm rubbing his back. I'm like, what's wrong? Baby girl. I love you. It's okay. I'm daddy's here, right? - Yeah, daddy's here. - He puts his big head in my chest. I feel like it concaved a little bit. I was like, who the fuck can't breathe too well? - He goes with his singular jawline cover both of my nipples. His big head is taking up my whole sternum. - It's like a breastplate artery. - Yeah. And I'm holding his head. I'm holding his head like this. I'm rubbing him like, I'm like, daddy, what's wrong? And then he goes, it's Malachi's birthday. And I go, what happened? What's going on? You got him a big gift? And he goes, no, we haven't even got gifts or anything. We spent $2,000 on a balloon arch. And I said, you did. What? - It's a true statement. - True statement. It just happened. $2,000 on a balloon arch. How many balloons are on this arch? I don't know. I don't know, and I plead the fifth. And the first thing is, it was not a wee sentiment. It is my beloved wife. - This happened? - Yes. It's a true statement. - The price is fabricated, but it is-- - It's fabricated by a couple hundred dollars, man. - How much was it? - And no, we're not going to say the whole thing. But-- - I'm talking about the stuff that's included in it. - It's a balloon. - So, yeah, so basically-- - He's a Malachi. - Oh, God. - You know what? - She's-- - Bloons. - I was gonna say, I'm not going. - I'm not going. - I'm not going. - If a balloon popped a face in my-- (humming) - Oh, but it's gonna be a great birthday. I'm just saying-- - It's gonna be great. Remember that debate we had about fiscal responsibility? - Yes. - The worst with me. - No, no, no. - Well. - Yes. - No. - It's not-- - Yes. - It's both, okay, it's both. It's both. - You are one. - Oh, boom, my God. - What can I say? I have a question, right? - Oh, my God. - Going into the whole Thanksgiving theme, right? We eat a lot of calories, right? We're eating a lot. That's our gluttonous day. I mean, it's kind of sub, kind of like just regular day for you. Like, it's like linear and then it's like a little spike. - It's a little spike, a little bit. - Yeah. - But a lot of people do jogs after their Thanksgiving, right? They just go, they gotta go run off, right? The next day or something, right? - Okay, yeah, sure. - A lot of people during the holidays are gonna go jog the food off. And now that I'm on my fitness journey, I'm starting to take a lot more jogs. - Yeah, you are. - You are. - You love a good cardio. - I love a good jog. But no one talks about this. And I'm gonna be real vulnerable. And I'm gonna test you on something. - Oh, my God. - Would you flip? - No. - Would you fall to a creek? - No, I'm gonna test you on something. I don't know how to start a jog. I, it is like my worst. Like, I am so insecure. Every time I go on a jog. And I start my jog. - I hate you so much. - Is that not a real thing for you? - No, that's not a real thing. - So you know how to start a jog? - Yes. - Get up and go start a jog. - Where do you want to start a jog? - You almost parked the red seat and pick up that fourth camera. - Fourth mic. - All right. There's only one way to start a jog. You sit there. If you stretch, you do your stretching. Say you have an apple watch, smart watch, whatever. You hit go and you really go like this. - And you just take off. And that's all you do. - What other way do you go like this? - And then take off. Where do you go dead sprint and decelerate? You just take off. - This is it. So I have a bunch of different variations of how I start my jogs. I don't know how to do it. So like, I don't know if you skip into it. do you skip into it or do you like you just like take off running right so and you stretch like do you sit in the sidewalk and you're like you're sitting you're sitting down to stretch on a public sidewalk to take a jog you need to go to jail that is that is wicked crazy work look okay so this is my different variations static stretches for a jog this is my different variations so how I how I jog right so I'm going I'm warming up and I go all right no you're doing a double bounce and then a skip a triple bounce skip into a jog who what do you have snipers on top of the building like why would you have a paparazzi phone you or this is it no what's wrong with that no no what's wrong with that even though if you start if you start that's like getting in your car and instead of driving in a straight line you yeah you reverse first and then take off driving okay so you just did you go wait what yeah I'm doing that's back melt take off it's swag that's swag swag is being a grown tax paying citizen and you go all right jog no you do a front lean a little lean where you have some some some force push me no I'm not I'm like I'm like this no all you do you lean a little forward to make you go at a quicker pace than a walk and you just take off and you jog honesty very truthfully honest so you know when I get anxious I overthink to it and extreme amount the worst I've ever done what's this like I don't even know if I'm ready to do this that's it that's it I've done it I've done it I have being honest I have Peyton Peyton if I ever saw you first off you're you always talk about my brain yeah my mind if I physically saw you go no he says to himself on your mark yeah that's the fascinating part you're not sprinting no you got in your block to jog okay to do long distance you go without thinking about it without thinking about it I want I want Robbie and Pierce to show me there don't even think about it just go real quick you don't even need the mic start right here sorry for the audio listeners but this is hilarious I have to see this you're about to go on a jog Pierce 3 2 1 that's awkward no that's awkward that's awkward it's awkward it's a block for a jog dog no no Robbie go on a jog in 3 2 1 no the series will know I do I do hit a skip I hit up yes you gotta skip skip is the best one give you a skip not on you know that is now that is what I did no no you will like this you said you said sitting on the static stretching getting real good static stretches for no reason and then you stand up you said okay ready go you went all right this is the most realistic I'd say probably like this yeah okay but you got it understanding is jogging is an awkward thing and not enough people talk about it you hit the blocks you have to no you don't jogging is one of the most awkward things of all time no it's not it's awkward when you think people are watching dude it's starting you don't judge the way you sit on your couch because you know you're in the confines of your home you're out in public you think someone's got a bird's eye view on you and that's what you're like somebody's always watching no that's why I hate jogging on like busy roads where there's cars now that I'll give you because I've done that before I've done that in my neighborhood and I did not realize at the time because I'm so far moved from like schooling schedules didn't realize school just got out hella cars hella teenagers leaving the parking lot and I'm literally sitting on a jog terrible cardio out of breath very sweaty and I'm getting looks from 16 years like this yeah it's it's well a lot of the reason I don't like running in front of people is cuz at a young age eighth grade coach Welch he told me it looked like I ran with a backpack on and it's really affected my my life I think my biggest thing is I don't I don't like how how much force my feet hit the ground with and I don't do treadmills good like I don't do sprints on a treadmill because I'm like everyone else on treadmills like yeah I'm like this boom boom boom boom yeah yeah I hate that I don't like the way you run either I like your arm oh my god the other how have I not told you this what happened this like two weeks ago you and you know me on the treadmill for cardio at a you know for me cardio at the end of workouts yeah it's going to be an incline walk yeah I'm not really sprinting I don't need to do that forever the hell reason I got it was a leg day so I was like maybe I run some of the soreness out now get that lack the gas I get on the treadmill I sh** not I put my phone up on the little thing like I say I run with force I get that speed to like seven seven and a half it's like jog two seconds it literally like 20 seconds into the jog my phone falls over oh no falls on the ground it is stuck between the two treadmills where another human being is I have to and I'm not kidding I have to get on the sides I pause the workout I get down on all force and I'm literally like this trying to like trying to grab my phone because you have to understand it's this huge platform huge platform yeah neither one of us run an incline so it's like big space big space small space for the phone is and I'm literally like this yeah on all fours people are walking behind me the whole time and I didn't realize it and I'm not kidding and this this probably pissed me off more than anything I've ever felt in the gym okay sitting there reaching fishing for the phone I finally grab it I look at the person I'm like yeah I know this isn't good for either one of us she's like this it's like a 50 year old mom I grab the phone and on my way back I feel a breeze no no my crack was visible oh your pearly white cheeks my pearly white Disney princess a little bit of you a little bit of pink you oh god a little bit of hair and a little bit of orange a little bit of orange was available for all of this commercial gym to see to mistamine the whole time I was down and I was a plumber my crack was out for everyone yeah the best part is yeah there's a whole other row of cardio equipment behind us oh so they were getting this yeah my out literally going oh yeah no yeah me too oh wow wow that's exactly like you said I went but it's yeah skin yeah that's it that's bad and guess what I did yeah the leaf oh yeah me being me me being stubborn oh no I try to swallow it so I stand up I go yeah wow you tried to swallow me being stubborn right around you can't make me whoa oh so many people so many human beings so you're being stubborn being stubborn and I go I'm gonna I'm gonna wear this humility like a crown and I'm gonna get back on that treadmill I get back on the treadmill it was on pause for so long it ended my progress I couldn't see the distance I have done so I said this place I'm out of here and I walked clean out I said no no that's why I don't do this cardio no I'm out of here do you know we fat forever you said no you need to leave that gym bro as much as happens to you in that gym you got to leave it it's on it's just it's unbelievable like it's and then my wife wonders why I get mad at an adamant objects yeah anything in this world that doesn't have a heartbeat or a brain should never best me right I should never fail to a cabinet I should never get mad yeah ice cream yeah and these things happen to me doors on a regular basis it's a worse isn't it I literally think it's like it's like manifestation yeah like this is the number one thing I get mad at it's the number one thing that happens to me it's like whenever you think about seeing a new car and then now when you're driving check car everywhere it's the same thing oh my god dude my life is of Prius like it is it's way out of Prius yeah Prius is everywhere yeah oh my god dude hey it's so bad do you you you crop this yeah I mean yeah not with like cuz you're delicious or racial intent but yeah I do I don't don't look at that look I don't that's what I'm saying yeah huh that was a fart it was a crop dust yeah I'm saying it's not it's never I can see where you're coming from you said look at that oh it's so simple soup oh no no but no I do not first off I've been in a crop dusting bag dog really letting them go oh and you're put it is like it is like bad energy it's like a yeah that gets hold you start praying different yeah if someone gets engulfed in your fart there's a couple of curses coming their way am I you dig up a fossil oh my god yeah that's that is straight patrolling yeah like oh my god I'm a nasty petrol pump going out of me but you know where it came from now I am able you know where it came from where I went to the other no no well my father yeah he's got internal digestion your dad literally poops and it's like a made went off it's literally like something blue the full like cover whole house. He's the Oppenheimer. Okay, but I think I went to lows, right? Cause you know, weird pull. Well, this is, I'm, you know, it will make sense, right? So since I'm in a, in a, in a thing with Voldy, right? I'm trying to be behave more of like a, like a man, like I want to build you stuff. Like my primal instinct is coming out. Like let me go to a party, right? But that, my testosterone is raised, going into lows, like going into a lows or a home deep on something primal comes out. It makes you a chimera, like a piece, like a, like a chimera. It's a mythical creature. But like it makes, it makes you want to, like, dude, I'm, yeah. You see a good two by four. Yeah. And you don't know shit to do with it. Just like to walk by the wood. Yeah, 100%. It's like, oh, just weird little virgin boy. You see that first beautiful girl you see? And you're like, Oh, I could do something. You have no clue what you're doing. You've never been on that track. You have no clue. You don't know where the start button is. You don't know nothing. But in your mind, a rev of that engine, you're going to, you're going to cold starter in the middle of December. You don't, you don't drive manual. You've been on auto. Yeah, you don't have a stick shift. You've no clue what you're doing. But you think you can't. Right. That's the same thing as a, as a young grown man that we are when you walk into a lows. Yeah. I have to ask where the hammers were. You know, I'm embarrassing that. They were your hammers. They know I don't belong in there. I feel like, oh my God. Oh, your kid said you all say this after. Well, I asked the guy and he was like, like, he didn't, but I felt like I'll just say what? But being in a lows or a home depot primal. I, you know me, I, I get mad at y'all when y'all cropped dust in public. I do not respect it. I don't like y'all do it everywhere. I don't give a like I, I got a fart. I'm fart. Period. I got a poop. I'm so selfish. I'm not like a poop. I'm pooping. I got a P and P and a fart. It's a bodily function. Everyone doesn't do. If you don't like it, I'm going to fart. I'd say that's not me. The only place I feel comfortable crop dusting is a lows or a home depot. Where's the most comfortable? You're crop dusting. You have a comfortability level. Only place I can do it. Is it because it's only men? Maybe. And it's, it brings out that primal test from you, you, you think you're going to go. The next guy goes, oh, you're having a fart war. And you go, oh, dude. Oh, I wasn't even going there. Okay. Oh, no. No, no. He's going to give him. Who's going to give him? Yeah, no. I saw sheets in his backpack. I didn't know what they're for. They were sheets and scissors. I did not mean that as a form of an animal. I meant primal. We were going down there. Primal and primate are very close. That's why my mind made the connection. Right. But I think that might be it. But in terms of me, I don't, I don't like to crop dust. Yeah. But if it happens in half, I think you do like it. You enjoy it. I'm not going to lie. If I do do it a good mall, a good mall, as many people as I can. Yeah, you like to, you like to take up a wide area. You don't like confines, confines spaces. That's terrorism. Convince that is. Yeah, you can't do that. I can't, yeah, you can't walk up to one lady selling hand soap at bed bath and beyond and go, she's made me got to walk off and rule her life. Yeah. She's trying to sell you a tropical amber ocean breeze and you just hit her with poop. But you have a thing with disturbing the piece though. Like you have a kink. No, no, I don't have a kink. I don't like you like yelling in public. Yeah. Or you like farting in public. It's just two things. It's not a kink necessarily. I like spice. You're fine with mundane society. Me? If everyone wore gray and walked around, you'd be like, oh, dude, it's sick. No, I just modern. It's chic. I just don't like to, I don't want to like make your day worse. I don't think that I used to have those interesting thoughts about this anymore. This is the way I approach life from that. Don't play this is the way I approach life from that lens. You think that it's making people's days worse. I think if it gives them a funny story to go talk to with their co-workers or their kids or even if it gives them something, think about this. Yeah, someone hates it. Babe, this on the mall just scream today. He was just so annoying. Oh, babe, if I would have been there, I would have beat his. Oh, my God, you're so strong and manly. Oh, I know I'll protect you. I don't know. Oh, my God, come here. I just made them have love. You just made sex. I just made them make sex. Yeah, you were the quarterback. All for me going. And then I walk into my store. That's how I view life. I am the spot out there's salts, there's peppers. I'm the occasion right in the middle. I'm that occasion season. Oh, yeah, you're having a regular day. Let me occasion it. You have too much pepper. Cajun. I respect it. I do respect it. You should know podcast. I have a story about Thanksgiving. Not the best day. Happy Thanksgiving. Everybody enjoy your yams. Now this beans, potatoes, tomatoes, jam ham, long dog chicken, turkey, you name it. Oh, my God. What a song. So this has nothing to do with the actual meal of Thanksgiving, but it's something that happened on Thanksgiving break when I was younger. Okay. So Thanksgiving break basketball is still in full swing. So we wicked story. We had to practice outdoors. Okay. This is in like middle school. We had to practice outdoors because for whatever reason, we all show up to the schools schools out. Right. We just had like a quick morning practice. We show up. School is completely locked. And our coach can't get in. Mm hmm. Don't know how that happens where your f**k is an adult. Anyway, we're lucky enough there's a court outside of it. This was in middle school. Mm hmm. And it's a, I'm talking janky little court. Mm hmm. Like little court. Like we're not about to play fives. We're going to like lay up drills and probably walk through our sets. Okay. So we go to this court and we're going probably like an hour, whatever we're getting close to the end. And he goes, all right, everyone go for water. And then we're going to scrimmage for a little bit before we get out here. So I go to get my water. And I kid you not. Pfft. I don't know what the f**k is that. Literally, that's what it's now like pfft. And I'm like, like small quees? Yeah. Like a, yeah, like a, yeah, like a, oh, that means she lacks you. No, that's, that's, oh, boy. I go, whoa, whoa, what the f**k is that? Oh, that means she lacks you. Okay, not too much, too much, too much, too much, too much, too much, here we go. Hey, mom. Anyway, literally like probably four times. And I'm like, what the f**k? And it sounds like it's above me. So I started looking up. There's a flock of birds. And I go, my f**k is talking. I don't know. They talk and I just crowed or quiet, quiet, quacked, quacked, quacked, quacked. They're going to gossip and they don't like four down. They don't like that. They don't like our playbook. They're going to go tell the rivals. Yeah. So where do you go? Finish my water. And I go, all right. I had no a massive amount of bird yeah in my hair. Yeah. This is the time where I had that old Justin baby. I had long hair. You had the swoop. I had swoop. So I often had to go like this. You know, I used to always do that. Oh my god. That already like two years ago. So yeah, I know exactly. And they started 10, 12 years ago. Yeah. So I put the water down, hit my normal go to. Okay. Gotta get that sweaty hair on my eyes. Yeah. Oh, no. I have birds all on my hands. And it's now layered into my hair as a leave in condition. Yeah. It was on the surface. And I went. Oh, no. I literally go coach. I think there's birds on my head. And he goes, yep, sure is. Go and bound the ball. And I go, you're kidding. There's poop on my skull. Please, I'm gonna keep practicing. I had to keep practicing. Good boy. And guess what? Oh, yeah, he said, Oh, good boy. Good boy. You do as you're told. Good boy. And I go, guess what I do with my hands? No, no. On skin. We had short shorts. Two short of shorts. I'm literally birds. Yeah. On my skin. So the remainder of the rest of the 10 minutes, I tried to utilize my kneecaps and skulls in ways that I've never even thought of in basketball. I'm boxing out like this. I'm trying to just touch my, this punk coach is making me go with bird, you're all getting the shit. That's all getting you are so obedient. I started jumping out with rebounds like this. That's my ball. I'm touching people. I'm like, bro, this is, yeah. And I'd literally go home and take a shower. And it was like, there was Elmer's in my head. Like, it was like in my scalp. Right. Imagine K. Rob's car from, no, no, no, did it, that's bird poop. Actually, I know about bird poop. Thanks. Yeah. Whoa. What? I know about bird poop. Statue of limitations are off on this story if I can say bird poop story too. What does that mean? Voldemort might want to close here. But it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a true story. Oh my god. You have to share it. It's bird poop. I went on one of the weirdest dates ever. No, no, before. And this was some years ago, right? Okay. And it was a time in my life where I was it sure what I wanted. Wait, no, not no. Good morning. And good morning to you. No, good morning to you. That's, I knew that one. Yeah, that's fine. Did you? No problem. There's literally nothing wrong. It's not. No, no, it's not. I would tell you. Was it a woman? Yes. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Well, they told me they were. Okay. And so it's okay. So No, I went on a date and now at this time, I was in the era of like, you know how I wanna be a rock star now? - Oh my God. - I was very much into like, ha, like I want it, like you know what I want it, I went back to middle school painting. Like if you wear a tail and like-- - Non-slip rubbers, some spiky bracelets. - Oh, I love boobies bracelets. - Yeah, like fishnet socks over jeans. Like that was my back. - Suspenders with a nut, it's holding up nothing. - And so I went on a date with this girl one time, right? And what I liked about her was how confident in self she was. Like this girl really cool, a lot of armpit hair. Like it was, and I'm not joking. Like I'm being damn serious. It's not okay, but she was like, like there was her bag. So I'm painting all the picture. Like white lady kinda couldn't tell, maybe like Peruvian. I don't know, dreadlocks, but it was like the hair didn't match the dreadlock. I couldn't tell what you were, right? Not my typical bag. It's woman going, "No, we're near your fucking bag." And so, and like, and showers might have been suggestive there. One of those bags, right? And she told me where she wanted to go. And it was like for dinner, we went on a dinner date and she told me where she wanted to go. And now this place didn't have chairs. It was you sat like on the ground on these little bags. Like these little like seat pads. Like in, you know, the tables were real low. Real dark in there and a lot of weird music, right? And a bunch of feathers everywhere. Like it was like a bunch of like, like I couldn't tell if we were partying or about to pray to some, I don't believe in. But you know what I mean? I couldn't tell the vibe in here. You know what I was like? I had a music video shooter, there's a sacrifice. Like if I would have saw a mask come throughout the lab. But it wasn't here. But so I mean her outside the restaurant. And it's like in the forest, kind of. Like there's a lot of trees. Like the forest, but it was like a, like a country wooded area, right? A bunch of big trees. It was nighttime, you know, that kind of vibe. And she comes out, peace be with you, hugs me. Like, and I mean the smell on this woman. I was like, you've worked all day, huh? Sweetest girl ever, right? I was like, oh, you have identity. Like you, I can, I can, I'll never forget this. One of these, lovely lady, right? And so, my God, you have an outdoor job. And so, but I was into it though, 'cause it was like this is different. I was into the ruggedness, until ruggedness, great word. We hugged, right? A backed up and a bird on her shoulder. And that's normal, right? And you know, I'm very like, okay, I don't want to make you feel awkward, but I was like, let's take care of it. Bird poops on the shoulder. I said, oh, oh, oh, like I laughed, I was like, it's all right. I was like, I'll get you some napkins. She gave me one of these. She was napkins, you will not receive. You will not grab napkins. She was, oh no. She goes, no, she was like, and I don't know exactly what she said. If I said something verbatim, I'd be lying. But it was the same. She's like, this was supposed to happen. She was like, this is a sign of something, something. She was like, it's okay, like it's a part of nature. We're all coming from the earth. It's beautiful. It shows me to be at spot or something. And I said, it's going to get me to get a sh*t on you. We're supposed to eat. But I don't like hurting people's feelings. So she's got wet on her shoulder. And like, it was like one of the, you ever seen a bird poop with its white surrounding with the black driplet on it? Yeah, and it's, so it's going down about right here, about here, right? So, and so we go into this restaurant. And now I'm already confused. We're sitting crisscross applesauce on the f*ck ground. And the whole time, we're eating broth. And I can't stop looking at it. There's turds on your shoulder. And she just wasn't fazed by it. I'll never talk to her again, I swear, sweet lady. But that was years ago, so I can talk about it. But she's still cool, like we're still cool today. She's nice lady. Oh, he said, I just love how you were trying to be so respectful. And you loved the, the true, just true self and the identity and even the stench. You love it all. And then she goes, no, no, no, no, don't worry. Yeah, this is supposed to be, this is not the f*ck. It was this close to me. Hey, back up. She said, no, no, no, don't worry about it. This is supposed to happen. It shows that you going to f*ck in me? There's f*ck in your arm. You go, act like a lady. So yeah, I was, thank you for bringing that up. Because they reminded me of the, of the bird. I think I'm having cardiac arrest. Oh, God bless. Oh, not. But you should know podcast. Oh my God. What? Dude, we're, we're just flowing synergy off each other. Something happened to live this week. What happened? Ridiculous story. Okay, so where we live, a new Walmart just opened, right? She goes and visits the Walmart. And it's during the day, it was, it was actually when we went to look at the place we went to. So basically, we were out of the house. She was by herself. She took Malachi to Walmart and she goes into this Walmart. And at first, she's going up and down the aisles. Normal sh*t. He's in the little cart. She's chilling. She's just taking all in. There's time to burn. She said, she gets to the end of the aisle and there was an employee, an older woman that was like, you know, okay, you know what, the end of the aisle, there's like in caps, where they have like one product. She was like behind the end cap, like waiting and they've got to the end of the aisle. The old woman pops out and goes, ah, I got you, you grabbed Malachi's foot. And she's alive. She's breathing. She's just going, ah, I don't give you a fuck and touch my son and this woman is breathing today. Why? The best part is that's not the best part. Oh, my God. What happened? So then that happens. The live was like, what the f*ck. Whoa, hey, whoa. Yeah. And they talk it through and she's like, oh, thank you. She goes, oh, he's such a cutie. Oh, oh, the little baby's going, burn. That movie. I'm kidding. No, but she says she was like, oh, he's just so cute, sweetie. I just wanted to touch his little face. I just wanted to give him a f*ck. She was like, I just wanted to get those, even though Thanksgiving's coming up, I want him to feed him. Oh, I want some personal f*ck. I want to put them feet on a f*cking piece of sourdough and eat that jam. But she's touching. She's sitting there touching Malachi's foot. No, no. And the live goes, okay, thank you so much, man. Yeah, thank you. I hope you have a great day. Yeah, be blessed. Yeah. So then the live turns the corner, gone with the crazy light. Crazy old woman gone. And blessed her heart, we're from a different time, but I was probably acceptable back then. She doesn't understand how real and creepy the world is. Yeah, she probably thinks it's still in 1940s. Yeah. No, no. Yeah. So she turns and leaves. She goes through the rest of the aisle and then she ends up on the perimeter of the store and she's heading back to the front and she ends up in the bakery. She says this old man, the very old, the second old person, it's always the geriatric always. Always. They have enough. They're playing with house money. They can be show what? Yeah, they're going to be like, kill me. Okay. They go, I'm dirty. Oh, my God. So she gets to the bakery and she says, from a distance, and I'm not, I'm not getting it. I literally asked Olivia before I said, I'm, I have to tell this on the pod. Yeah. Are you being honest with me? She said, I put my hand on the Bible. She comes to the bakery and there's this old man. You know how they have the, like all the different breads on the walls and like the little cooler section next to it that has like the naked smoothies and like all like the little ginger shots. Okay. She said he's propped up. That's how old it is. Prok. Not even to stay. He's almost puppet for him. He's not six to 12. He's just, he's pro. Yeah. She's walking. She says she's like 20 feet away and he literally just falls and falls all over the shoulder. No. He's like, and falls down on the ground, complete crash out, falls on the bread, fall on him and he's getting hit with sourdough and French loafs. The naked smoothie hit him in the ear. Please tell me still alive. And he's on the ground and he's literally like live walks up to him being a good woman. Oh, no, you never be the superhero and goes and go to learn that you're black household. You never, you just walk away. You mind your business. She walks up and goes, excuse me, sir, are you okay? Is he mediate response? Where'd you find that little fella? Talk about Malachi. Find him. Find him? And she goes, sir, what do you mean? He goes, what the hell did you get him from? Where can I get me one of him? What? Talking about my son. Again. My wife is attempting to give you aid and help you off the floor. And he goes, where'd you find that one, man? Where'd you find that little boy? Huh? Huh? He said, what? How'd you find him at? And live? What? So live interpreted it as a, he's trying to make a joke. Again, he's from the 20s. His humor might be a bit outdated. So he's trying to make a joke on, oh, I'm black woman carrying white baby. Yes. funny, but racist grandpa and say that anymore. Oh, no, no, no, I found him right here, he came from me. The man responds, he goes, "Oh, that doesn't quite help me, does it?" And the whole time, he's like this. [laughs] "Oh, what'd you get, man? What'd you find that boy?" "Oh, that don't help me now, does he, a woman?" Huh? Huh? He's on the ground. Sprawled out over French loaves to naked smuggs. Yeah, he's alive, goes, "Oh." [laughs] And he's going, "What the f--- is going on?" I'm the stayin' warmer, I'm, too. Yeah, that is hilarious, you can't believe it. And that's why I mind my business. I've seen people fight, fall, and public. And I never get involved. Oh, yeah, no. And I have learned that heavily from you. I used to be the type that plays the fence. Yes. Like, if I, oh my god, if this really pops off, yeah, I'm an able-bodied man. I could do whatever needs to be done. Out my business. I took that extra step away from that fence. Got to. I can watch for a little bit from distance. As soon as I come to meet, oh, I'm turning, I'm going. Yeah, oh no, that's not my business. I'm turning, and I'm going, I, I, is it going to, is it cancelable? Yeah. No, we should. But like, remember, we saved that lady in the, in the Starbucks. Yeah. We, if it weren't for you, she would have still been there. Exactly. I was up to you. We would have been in the Tesla going to Topgolf. I didn't hear it. You go, did you hear that scream? Sure did. Not sure what it is, don't go home. You go, "Heard the scream. Not my business. Not my mom, grandma, or ants. Goodbye." I didn't lose nothing in that bathroom. That, you go, "Yep, I heard that scream. It doesn't change the fact that my bills are doing the 18th." Let's go. You go on the news. She would have been saved if somebody, apparently, four-rather-large gentleman walked out of the door after making eye contact with the culprit. I was just kidding. You might find a flykiss. No, that, like, if it's, if it's important enough. That was like a real blown, like, episode of Grace Navi. That was why. Yeah, kid. But, and why? Like, 40 seconds into it, I was like, "Get up." Or, "Why are you talking so clear right now?" It's like, it's like, you're okay. She was like, "Oh my god, I'm in so much pain." I was like, "Really?" She's like, "I need you to grab my phone." She's like, "I'm like, man." She's like, "No, text him this." Yeah. I was like, "You're gonna mad at me." Because I thought, "I called you." Because she's not gonna answer her phone. Just text her. I said, "All right, listen." I said, "You listen. You listen, you listen." Close. She don't tell me, "You don't get out of tune with me." When you were laying gut up on the ground, on the bathroom floor of a Starbucks. You're under the bowl of the toilet. I go, "F**k, Appachino, put you on your deathbed." You don't get to call shots. You don't get to tell people what to do. I'm helping you see your kids tonight, woman. I'm gonna call whoever I want to f***** call. Okay, sorry. Oh my god. It's always the people that need something that demand the most. God, look at that. How it goes. God, how it goes, man. I'm full of stories. I'm full of stories. I'm full of stories. I'm literally coming to. Wow. Where are you? I'm literally coming. I meant to say, "Going." On my way to the gym. And now, you say that? Now, the more. Now, what? Oh, you don't see the benefits. You don't see the results. You mean f*****, I'm just kidding. No, I'm actually going to go home and do two hours straight of cardio today. I'm going to make myself unhealthy because of him. No, no, no. Can I say this? No, yeah. Before you get into your story, really, I know. I do. You think you were in a chlorid deficit? I'm literally not going to eat for four days. That's a fact. You should have six hours fast. And every single day, I do four hours of extreme cardio. I'm going to wake up on that shit to do, I guess. I got pain, pain, start, start the car. I have to go record with pain. I just got into the office and record today. Do it. Please, don't! Anakin! Help me! The Jedi is taking over! He's such a nerd. Okay, no, but I want to say this. Don't say this before you get into your story, you do. I didn't notice the other day you were wearing something. It was tighter in your arms like this. Oh, thank you. Yeah, but guess what? That's when I came here. Immediately from the gym and I hit shoulders and arms. So I probably said a lot of blood circulating in the rear delt. That's why the shirt looked good. That wasn't my naked natural body. You don't want to see me naked natural. It's like a. It's like a D-shelled crap. It's like a. It's Mr. Crab's, and he takes that show off. He takes his pants off. Oh, no, you are. It's like my wife thinks I'm fattening on me too. Oh, oh, wow. No, oh, wow. I can taste the end. All right, oh, the engineer. That was funny. Oh, God. So, I'm on the way to the gym sweating. My car is on literal E. I have to go in my city to that gas station. Yeah. I stop. I park the. I park the car, get the gas. I'm going inside to get me a little pre-workout drinking. Right. Now, didn't even know they did this. But this specific gas station is a circle K. Formally known and fused with Valeros. Right. So, circle K gas station. There's a literal, like, a tailgate booth set up. Massive. Like, literally, when we used to work the games in Oklahoma, like those huge things, like you stake in the ground. Yeah. Huge tents. Set up. They have a table. They've merged. They're giving out. It's weird. I don't like that. They have coupons. And I'm like, where the f**k gas station? Like, what are you, what are you doing? Peyton? The man working the booth. And I'm not exaggerating. He was wearing circle K head to toe. Notice, I said, to toe. Yeah, on the feet. He had on circle K sneakers. And now, when I tell you, they weren't a pair of Nike monarchs with a circle K sticker. They were its own build. They were the circle K ones. And I've never seen the sneaker before. Yeah. It looked like a heli. It's the worst. And I said, where the f**k did you get those? Yeah. And I literally just said, you know me, I'm kind of like K Rob in that thing. I'll play with people. Right. I go, I'm like, what's up, man? What is this? He goes, dude, we're just giving out money. And I go, what? There's no seriously. You take this car, you scan it. And if you purchase something inside, you get 10 cents off a gallon. And I go, perfect. That's working cool. But I already started the gas. That sucks. I go, hey, man, where'd you get all this like cool circle K close? Had it made. That's it. Had it made. And so, man, it's going above. Is he like an owner of circle K? I think he's just a guy that clocks in. Like he's just, I mean, not, I mean, a regular employee. And I respect that. I respect that. I respect him. I respect also. I feel bad for him that he doesn't understand the second he leaves for whatever reason. His spot will be filled with someone else. That's not wearing circle K gear. But he's, you know what? He's going above and beyond. He's going to one day be the CFO or CEO of a circle K. A fashion industry. Maybe. Maybe starts a circle K live. Maybe he starts a circle K live. Maybe and then sues them. And then now it's circle Edward. Whatever his name is. I don't know exactly. It was unbelievable though. I was like, holy sh*t. All right. In the holiday spirit, it is the week of giving things. It is going to be Thanksgiving day. This Thanksgiving Thursday. If you're watching this on a Monday, Thanksgiving is Thursday. Again, happy Thanksgiving. All you and your family. And if you're watching this on Thursday, Thanksgiving is today. And you better go in there and check on the Ham Turkey and the giblets. And go to the, to the cranberry. And don't forget to go to that cranberry. Don't forget that cranberry. And if you're, hey, honestly, everybody go to that one drunk uncle and ask him what they think about New York politics. No. I go, let's refrain from that one. What do they think about the current administration or the government shut down? And then all of that, let's bring it up. Eat the food, go and take your walk with your cousin and come back and go, hey, we got any more of that old mash. You know what I'm doing real hungry now? You know what I want people to do? Is to record on their phone. Then walking up to the most borderline. You know, can't have this person a public family member, right? Yes. And ask them the most political questions to say, Peyton wants you to answer this. And I just want you to rage bait them and bring it to me. That'll be a new TikTok trend. Rage baiting your older family members because of the Usional podcast. Yeah, yeah, get them going. You'd be like, the Usional podcast wanted to know. And then just get the reaction. Oh my god. Tag us on TikTok. Tag us on TikTok. Yeah, it's going to be so good. Did you know most Caucasian people have an aunt that resembles Larry Bird? It's so true. It's so that little bird. Like, it's full proof, bro. That's beacon. That long. That beacon has 70 style, dude. Nutrient. Everybody take a picture of your wife. Take a picture of your family member, your aunt. That looks like Larry Bird. Take a pic of your closest looking bird relative Larry Bird aunt. You threw that for it. I got the little cut. They got the same cut. I got that cut. Maybe a couple loose fringe curls. That just. That will be gone. And oh my god. Great white hope of the fence. It's so true though. Oh my god. That's fun. Anyway, hell. That is 100%. Definitely smokes marble red sauce. Oh, and they got a colored tattoo that's faded real bad over the wrinkles. Oh, wow. You know what I'm talking about. All right, in the holiday spirit. Car shows like new ports. Oh, man, we are going to be doing a thanksgiving quiz. We're going to be doing a thanksgiving quiz. Am I quizzing you? I'm quizzing you, buddy. I go, I know everything about thanksgiving. It was my people that I'm quizzing you. I don't want to do. Can we we we haven't done quizzes in a while? Exactly. We're just going to pop right back in. That's not riding a bike. It's not riding a bike. You never fully forget it. You might be a little stumbling at first, but you don't forget it. What does the only thing like I'm so excited for the holidays and the holiday episodes, but you always quiz me. That's the point, buddy. That's the point. It's yin and yang. Okay, here we go. Thanksgiving. There's something good, some bad Thanksgiving quiz. Here we go. Thanksgiving quiz. We're going to start a little simple throw in a couple of curvies. how you do. Ready? Wait, say it again. So we're going to start a little sympathy. Throw a couple curbs. You're always curbs. You said it was good. Question one, let's do it. What meats were served at the original Thanksgiving service? It has to be turkey. That's where we got it from. Incorrect. Oh. Wasn't there a heavy population of swine here on the soil before we took over? Swine incorrect. You said something else. Sounds very close to it. What sounds like swine, but isn't swine? Swine. Swine. What's another one? What's a deer, but a small baby version? Bambi. Finicin. Finicin. What? What'd you just call me? Is that Finicin? Not Bambi. What's Finicin? Isn't it baby deer? No. No one's in veal. Finicin. Veal is quail. Veal is quail. Veal is quail. Veal is quail. Veal is what you wear on your wedding day. Dumb, and veal is the big duck. It's duck. Ducks another correct dance. And the last one. The last one. I see. We have a weird path to get to the right answer, but you're three out of four right now. There's one left. Now if I was to say swine duck, what's their third cousin? Swine duck in a moose. Swine duck, change the letter. Swine duck in a goose. There we go. That's a nasty dinner. Yeah, sick. I mean, I mean, innocent swine duck and goose were originally at the dinner, not turkey. Imagine the bathroom. So that dinner table. Oh my god. Everybody's going to potty after that. There's definitely not like a copious amount of fiber. And I'm talking those, those parts that they fall off. I mean, imagine eating deer with no seasoning. Those are your people. They don't have no seasoning on them. Probably slap. Probably slap back then. Of course you take back. If you took, if you took loudries and dropped it into the mayflower, it'd kill them. Oh my god. If you go, have you had some old baby back in it? They'd die. What the f*ck is the curse? Putting old man there food is like dropping an iPhone. Oh yeah. He dropped old man on their oysters. Oh my god. It lost her mind. It goes straight to the end of race. It goes straight to the apothecary. Oh yeah. There's no such thing as race. They're like, God, we love you. Oh my god. We're fighting evil. It's going to be cursed. Okay. Next question. Let's do it. I love that question. I love that. We had a friend that sat like that. Yeah, we did. Who was the first president to pardon a turkey? Abraham. No, sir. All right. What is pardon me? I thought I should give you about a jail. It is. They made it to a prison. We had a prison. Not a prison. We had it in prison. Turquoise prison pigeons. We had prison pigeons. If also known as turkeys on the street, their street slang was turquoise. We were young turquoise. We had a president that freed young turquoise. They said, hey, my man's turquoise. He's got to leave. He's got to get home for the hot. Oh my god, it's right there. Oh, that's gross. It's so nasty. Wait, so pardoned means who was the first president to pardon a turquoise? Right. I'm trying to get the definition of pardon. I believe it's released from prison because because Trump pardoned Kodak. Yeah. He got him out. He said, Kodak Black, but you knew that already. I don't want to. I don't want to fit. Trust me. He said, go ahead and get him on out of there. I appreciate it. Yeah. And ASAP got pardoned. And ASAP. Yeah. So ASAP. So ASAP, Kodak, and a turquoise. Yes. Yes. So it was Trump, Trump, and what? I'm saying the president. You're looking for the president. Was it Abraham? You're that guy that gets so caught up in the fluff. You need to read the question. Can I be honest? I only know about four presidents. Bush, Obama, Donald, Abraham, Washington, Fredericksburg. He there's a Frederick Spurg over some other one. Fredericksburg was one. Damn, I'm not saying he's not, but I'm saying that's a wicked pull. That's like, I don't know too many colors. Red, yellow, fourth degree indigo. I think this one called blue. Yeah. So maybe I know more than I know. Huh? Maybe I know more than I think. What's another one? What's another one? Adams. Another one. Come on. Pearson. Work with me. What? Very close. Pearson, it's close to here. It's close to here. Bush. It's close to here. Clinton? He died here. We got a press right there. There's a president who died here. It was shot right there. In the Starbucks. No, on the Starbucks. Right there. If we bust. Oh my god, if we bust through the window right behind Volk, where we run for about half a mile, we could still see it. Oh wow. Oh wow. You don't you don't deserve to be a Dallas, Texas native. Oh my god. Mother. It's right there. Give me a hand. I'm giving you all the hints. I don't know. Brecht store. Six legged. Will you say that? What all hints? You said Abraham Lincoln wasn't shot here. Assassination. That was Abraham Lincoln. Yeah. Your boys can't hang. John Wilkes in that booth. I shoot for point blank range. Yeah. That's eight. And we had another one. Kennedy. Thank you. It's him before the turkey. Yeah. He parted the turkey. They didn't like it. They the turkey got their leg back. The turkey said, I'll show you some. The turkey said get it back in bloodstream. No, that's strange. I didn't understand we could pardon birds either. Here we go. Okay. Third question. Right. On Thanksgiving day. Yes. The family served dessert plates of pumpkin pie and apple pie. They served five eights of all of the pie. Who did there was 48 dessert plates in total. How many plates of pie were served? Do we do a math now? Let's take skipping. It's taking skipping. Man for the skipping math. It's skipping. First of all, surprise math is not good. Oh, surprise. Oh, my God. He's going to court. I can rest. My guide was acting up. You're in flared nips. Do my nips. Do you have to fly that nip? Is this abnormal? That's a good color problem. Do you need me to re-read the question? Yeah, because I was expecting, I was thinking of presidents again. On Thanksgiving day, the family served dessert plates of pumpkin and apple pie. They served five eights. Oh. Okay. Fractions. They served five eights of all the pie. If there were 48 dessert plates in total, how many plates of pie was served? What the fuck? Okay. Here we go. Oh, dude. I'm not doing it again. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. How do you make eight? There's no way you just did that. Where's the remote? I mean the racer. I'm having a panic attack. That's not how it works. That makes nine. How'd you get to seven? I don't know. That's impossible. If you're drawing a line in the circle, there's two sides every time. Look, so there's eight, five eights of a pie that means there's eight slices. That's two slices for mecheline. They who makes a line like that? What are you cutting sour dough? It looks like a baget, not a pie. So two, four, six, eight. There's eight slices of pie. Yes. They served what they do with five of them. Two, three, four, five. I mean, again, she arranged like what like what? No, my brain makes this because I like the corner piece. So, so these, these are circled out, right? Because they eight, five eights of them. Yes, they served five eights of them. Yes. So there's 48 total plates of pie. There's what? There's 48 total plates of pie. They served five eights of it. How many plates were served five plates of it? Oh, wow. Oh, I went in for the trick answer. I thought that's where he was going. Oh, my God. There's pie. Yeah, pecan. It's actually, it actually doesn't specify. So if you wanted to be pecan, yeah, sure, sure it's pecan, but if you want to be pecan pie, so what is five eights matter? Why did I draw this? Oh my god. That's actually what you're searching for. That's what you're searching for. There's 48. I want you. There's 48. Got to write down every piece of information. I'll write that miskid, or she was a 40. I can't say what she was. There's, but she, I mean, developed my brain early. There's 48 pieces of pie. I haven't heard you. I underheard you. They served five eights of the pie. How many plates were given out? They ordered five eights of 48. Yes. They served five eights of 48. Five eights into a percentage is 30%. That was Voldemort. She hold up 30. She held up 30. I mean, she's as dumb as I am. Don't help, Voldy. Don't help. If I get it right, I'll show her. Show who, oh, did it, right, did it, right, did it, right. Over on the Patreon on our top tier. You go find your final answer. Right after it. All right, I go, you sure about that locked and loaded. All right, so can I at least get for help? No, it's my forgot shapes. Five eights into a percentage is what? Five, ten, fifty, I don't know how to do that. I don't know reverse engineer it. Reverse engineer. Five goes into eight, five, one point three times. I have, okay, start with 48. Start with the 40. I have a tongue tie. Start with the, you don't. Yeah, I do. I do. I do. It's under. Oh my God. Yeah. Start with the 48. I have to six times eight. Okay. Holy shit. I did it. No, but I didn't. It's just 48. But you're getting there. You're getting close. Robbie doesn't know either. I can tell it's eyes. Okay, with what you just said, with what you just said, six times eight. Yes, six. So what does that mean? So where's six eights? Or there's 48. No, no, no, no. You said that right. Sorry, you said that right. There's six eights. Yes. Okay. So they served five eights. They're missing one. Okay, yes, if, okay, if six can go into 48 eight times. Yes, the five can go into 48. If six can go into 48, if it, no, no, no, no, it's that seven. If six can go into 48 eight times, they served five eights. Okay, say it in words. Okay, I'm going to put a T-shirt emphasis where I want you to really land on. Okay, yes, if six can go into 48 eight times. It reminds me of my dad when you tried to hold me with my homework as a kid. He'd be like, how many times is it going there? I feel like I don't know, man. That was the emphasis. Okay, so they served five eighths of it. Yes, so they messed up. Who knows what you're saying, dude? That's why you got fired as a teacher, bro. No, because the funny part is the, it's actually hilarious. If I go one more step, I'm solving it for you. And then I pass you and I'll be on your dirty little cone dip head. What is it, porn cone put? Born cone. My, I want to let you know my toughness raised right now. I'm spiked up like Ruby. You're feeling, you're feeling natural predators in the distance. Okay. Okay, so this is what I'm saying, right right here. Yeah, this is going to shut up. I raised my board, sorry, I raised my board. I mean, my board looks like it looks like it looks like you take it. It looks like you give yourself a hug with this help of a belt every night. And you sleep in your nose and my everywhere. So, okay, if, oh god, okay, here you go. If six is what can go in to 48 eight times, right? So it'd be fair to say six. Six times eight equals 48. Perfect, right? So it'd be fair to say one eighth of the pie equals what? What is one eighth of the pie? No, this is happening here. What's one eighth of the pie? Six. Correct. They served five eighths. Five times six. Thank you. What's the final answer? Five, 10, 15, 20, 20, 20, 30. They had 30 pieces of pie. Ding ding ding ladies and gentlemen. I know I know I don't even know how we got there. Oh my god. You got it right One we get a million subscribers. Oh my god. So sub up. Oh, yeah, get us out here. Happy Thanksgiving actually Voldemort is you know We made that whole joke about the about bringing a significant other than Thanksgiving Voldemort's coming for Thanksgiving By y'all who's going back all right everybody. I'm sorry that it takes a 26 year old man That's very smart and and and very you know unique in his own ways to Solve five times six over 15 minutes, but we absolutely love you and all jokes aside This is a beautiful week. I want you to send a text to your love. I want to come here Bubba come here come sit come sit Come sit down with papa or sit on papa Sit with papa. There you go. Okay Well, maybe we'll get one of these again next month around Christmas time my toughs exposed Oh, don't expose that but we love you We want you to do this once you give your family members a hug once you send them a text We want to do whatever you want to do with your family members all your friends. Anybody that you love and you're thankful for this week Something's it. That's something's trying to knock on the back door. So I'm so Okay, we absolutely love you first link in the description of this video is the patreon It's the patreon Koala Club go over there check it out. We have all sorts of stuff We have extended we have so many different shows. We have a different series. We have everything over there Hey, you do too. You smell like whiskey and leather And the other link in the description of this video is the website that the merch drop will be on if you are in the patreon you Will always know and learn about it first you will get to see first you will have access first You can actually first use a protocol in the patreon. You get it first before anybody else. Yes, it sells out. Yes, sir Yes, sir, happy patron. Confuse the casuals get your good karma leave it everywhere. You know what it is H T One word though. It's I think it's a ht. We'll do htg for the to sake of three happy Thanksgiving Shot on me shot on three one two three shot One out of 10 claw bears don't make it on a Christmas and we will see you Next time what yeah, I think I'm sure. Yeah, no, yeah, it was 14 minutes for five seconds >> Now it goes first thing, give it. >> It was 14 minutes for five times six.