My sister-in-law on pregnancy, pelvic rest, & two under 2

- We got our anatomy scan today. - Confirmed it is a girl, but I'm on pelvic rest. - Were you two happy? - It's like can work out, but I cannot engage in other action. - I have the perfect position when I have to do a snot soak. Head between the thighs, feet by my feet. Arms out, stretch wide, but I'm squishing their head and like sits still. - I got it. - I thought it'd take the other day. - That was like, when you get in a fight, but then you know you get to make up afterwards. And they're like, I'm like, that is it. - That's not how I feel. (laughing) (upbeat music) - Welcome back to Always Here. I'm your host, Abby Howard and Abby Bizwell. (laughing) - Good to see you. - Good to see you. - I'm putting Abby in the hot seat today. - I know it's kind of weird being in the hot seat. I feel really safe over in my corner out here. I'm like, what do I do? - What do I do? - Do I look at the camera, do I look at you? - I would do both. - I would do both. - Actually don't break the fourth ball. - Unless you're one of a kind. - I'm really strong. - I'm really strong point. I'll look at the camera, but I'll look at you. - I talk, yeah. - It's not your first rodeo. - It's not, but why does it feel like it's my first? I feel like I'm part of a hosting category, but you're hosting. - I'm your guest today. - No. (laughing) - You're taking over Abby. She's, at the time of recording this, still very much-- - Still very good. - Yeah, she's still very much a child. But at the time of posting this, that would be impossible. So the baby is here. But not quite yet. - Yeah, I mean, we're excited. - We're excited. - Yeah. - We're so excited. I feel like she's making her, us aunts are like, we're getting antsy. - We're getting antsy. - Yeah, I was nervous because I just got back from vacation and I was like, please don't have the baby, but obviously if it came, you know, it is what it is. So I'm back. And we're, I'm ready. I'm ready to be an aunt again. - I really thought there was no way that was gonna happen. - Me too. I thought the baby was gonna come before I even lost. - Two weeks ago. - Yeah. - No. - We're helping her, chugging along. - Yeah, we'll all be there then. - Yeah, we'll all be there. - Yeah, potty. - Potty, potty. - It's okay. - Yes. - So yeah, so Addy's taking over, filling in for Abby, the maternity leave. And we got a fun episode today. We're gonna talk all over the place, but I feel like we like to share the hope and the heart with Heart and Humor. - Yes. - Did you prepare a hope and a heart? - I do have a hope and a heart. - Okay. - You want me to go first? - Yeah, you go first. - Well first, my hope was I just got back from vacation. Vacation was really good. It was fun. We can debrief that a little bit too. But my real hope is we had our anatomy scan today. And that was really fun. Confirmed it is a girl. Now I feel comfortable posting and sharing about it. I was waiting until the anatomy scan. If you're here, you know that it's a girl, but everyone else doesn't really know yet. And so I was like, now I can confirm post it's a girl, which was exciting. My heart is I'm on pelvic rest. - You too, Addy. - Why? - But I'm on partial pelvic rest. - What does that mean? - It means I can work out, but I cannot engage in other activities. - For so specific, eight weeks. - That's so crazy. - That's so specific. - I know. - It's like like, wow, you get to work out, but like. - Blake was there. - I don't know what Blake is. - Yeah, I do. Does he want the revolt to know what he said? - I think it's fine. - Okay. - He said, I think it was just a power movement by the doctor to be able to look at me and tell me that. - Can I have sex for a week? - He's like, look at me. - You can work out, but none of that. - No funny business. - Yeah. - So, yeah, so same situation as Addy, where the placenta is too close to the cervix. So it needs to have be two centimeters away and I'm three millimeters away. - So, sorry, someone commented that I don't have numbers since and I've never heard of. - Millimeters are smaller. - So how many millimeters in a centimeter, Hannah? See, yours is really close. - 10? - Really close. - Oh, okay. - Some people is like crossover, the cervix. So it could be that, but it's not. - That's good. - She's 10 millimeters or in a centimeter. So it needs to be two centimeters. I'm three millimeters. - Wow, okay. - So, we got a little bit to go, but she seemed very confident that as the baby grows, the placenta will move back. But we're not checking again till our 28 week appointment. So we've got eight weeks to go. Which, I wonder if we can ask at the 24 week if they could check. - Yeah. - At least for six weeks, wasn't it? - Yes, she also got more scans. So they could check it at her next appointments versus I don't have another ultrasound scheduled until then. - Does this put you on like a high risk? - I don't think so yet. So if the placenta doesn't move, you have to have a C-section. 'Cause it blocks the cervix, isn't it? - Yeah, you can't. - Or yes, and just blocks the cervix. Yeah. - That's so weird. - Yeah, so not the best news, but also not like baby is perfectly fine. - Yeah, you're motivated to rest. - Yeah, I'm glad I could still work out. But I'm like, are you sure? Like, I won't, if I don't need to, but she was like, yeah, you can work out. I was like, okay. - I guess it's so curious why Abby wasn't allowed to work out, but you are. What the difference? - I don't know. Abby said hers was like one millimeter. So it was closer. I wonder if she was even at a higher risk just 'cause of her previous history. I'm not sure, but my doctor said I could work out. - Okay. - Well good. - Well she does do great. - She does do great. - You're like, I'm like, I actually jump a lot. - Yeah, yeah. - You know, something about the, she said to avoid contractions, the contracting, and apparently, - Yeah, no, that makes no difference. - Intercourse can lead to that. And so she said to not do that. - Okay. - Let's rest your doctor. - That's our like and I's hard. - That's hard and that's a lot of crazy. - Yeah, it is a lot of crazy. - I know, it takes it Abby said is this what happened to you because this is what they just told me. - That is so crazy. I've never heard of that. And then you guys both had it. - Me neither. - And so I'm glad she did so that I can talk to her about it. - Yeah, that's crazy. - But I've never heard of it. Oh, I'm sorry, Abby. - It's okay, baby's good. So that's what I was excited about. Baby's moving a lot. - Is she bigger or smaller than Briella, at this point? - Around the same. - I think a little bigger. They didn't give me measurements. But whenever they're doing the ultrasound, you can kind of see it when they're doing it. And she was like a little under 50%. And I feel like Briella was like 30% out. So yeah, a little bit bigger. - Nice. And vacation was good. - Yeah, vacation was good. I mean, it was our first big vacation with a child. Like we've gone home or done different things like that. But it's just a lot of parenting and a new location. But still fun, like getting to experience new things with her and her getting to meet Disney characters and things like that was so fun. And my parents were there and my sister and her husband were there. And it was just really fun to be with everyone. - Your brother didn't go? - He had some sort of internship saying that he couldn't come for. - Yeah, that's the thing. - So he's in college. - He's in college. - So did you, where did you guys go? They did a Disney cruise. - Yes. - And where did you guys come out of and go to? - We came out of Port Canaveral in Florida. And then we went, it was actually, it's called a double dip at Castaway Key. So Castaway Key is their private island. And then they have another private, Disney has another private island called Lookout Point. And so it went to Castaway Key twice and then Lookout Point and had a day at sea. So it went nowhere. - Wow. - Other than their private island. So 60% of the people on this cruise, it was repeat cruisers with Disney. And so it wasn't their first cruise. Because a lot of, I would say a lot of people who go on Disney are going for the boat and for the Disney experience. And so they don't really care about the ports as much. And so going on this type of a cruise, you get to go onto the island, which also has characters and all Disney themed. And so we like doing that. 'Cause we don't really care necessarily about going to the ports. You've gone on a lot of cruises. It's kind of more about-- - Yeah, like it's all the same. - Yeah, it's all the same. - Yeah. Well, it was really fun. And my parents were such big helps. And we got to go to all the shows. And we had a connecting room with my parents. - This was just the best. I wanted to do one of those cute videos. You know where you like drop your kid off in front of their door, like at a hotel, like the grandparents door. I just put Brielle in their room. Like, they were just in there. And so we didn't have that. So we were able to, my dad goes to bed at like 9 p.m. So Embrielle was going to bed at 9 p.m. So we'd put her down, put her down. We leave the door open for the connecting rooms. And my dad was just sleeping Embrielle sleeping. And so we got to really still have a fun journey. - He has experience. And then the very last day my mom took Brielle all day. So we went by, we just laid by the pool all day. - Oh my gosh, fine. - Would you her diaper dash race? Please insert the video here. - What's a diaper dash race? Like a crawling race? - Crawling race. I haven't showed you this. - Do you like the kids camp area at all? - No, she's not big enough for it. We took her to the nursery one night. We had a dinner at one of the specialty dining. And so we had her in the nursery one night, put her like an hour and a half step funny. - So my dad has been looking forward to this since he's booked the cruise in November. I would be a crawler. - So since she's crawling, he was like looking for this. He was like, please don't walk yet. - In her little Disney gym, they don't, none of them move. (laughing) - They would be able to go to provide all these adulterers screaming at us. - They are so many adults sitting watching screaming, yelling. - She locked in on you. - She did not move a muscle. - The whole time? - She didn't move an inch. She also fell asleep right before her. It was right at her nap time. And so she's sleeping in my arms and then I wake her up. I'm like, that's such a fun parenting thing for me that I let her, that I did it, that I let her do the diaper dash when it was her nap time. So we woke her up like a minute before her. - Yeah, we were like fair and high, everyone's screaming at me. - See, that was so fun. Oh my gosh, that's cute, that's a good memory. - Yes. - Oh, I love that. - How was it, what's your open heart? - Well, my hope. Okay, we've been potty training our oldest, CJ, and we've had a break through this week. It's been awesome. - Good. - Yeah, it's exciting. - So that's been a huge relief, definitely a hope. That was something that I really pushed off. Like, he started showing signs when I was nine months pregnant and I kept me like, oh buddy, going your diaper. - You know what I mean? I kind of just like. - That's overwhelming. - Yeah, maybe that wasn't the best move. Because then it kind of set it back a little bit, but he's done great. And this week has been really fun. I feel like it's clicking, it's been exciting. So that's been a huge win in our house. Caleb finished the shed. - Like officially finished it. - Like officially? - Yeah, I helped him paint the trim over the weekend. We put curtains in, a rug, and we just got the desk delivered last night. So official workspace coming soon. - I want to come over and see it in person. How about I come over and I work with you. - And you can drop it. - Yeah, we got two monitors. We got the horrific. - It honestly is crazy how finishing it, and drywalling it, and painting it, and putting stuff in there, it feels massive. - I feel like spaces do that. Where you're like, even in this room, I was like, this didn't seem that big, and now that we have so much stuff in it, I'm like, it's huge. - So yeah, I feel like that's been really fun and kills back. I kind of was like, I was listening to our last week's episode on the way here, 'cause I wanted to see what I talked about. So I didn't repeat myself a 50 times, but yeah, it's been awesome, and I'm really excited. My hard is that, - Say it. - I don't get angry very often, but there have been two things that have really set me off, and I'm gonna tell you both of them. One is serious, and one is not so serious. - Okay, I have another one. - If you don't bring it up, I have a different one. - You. - That is one of them. - Okay. - Yeah. - I take it. I get, and this was just, this was like a work related thing, so it wasn't with you guys, it wasn't family or personal. It was a fully like work related incident. I'm still reeling inside from it, and I don't experience anger like this very often, and so when I was talking to Caleb about it last night, I'm like, I wanna make sure that my anger isn't coming from a place of pride or entitlement or selfishness or greed or any of that. Like, I want this to strictly be anger from a place of justice, and like was right, and I do feel like it is that, thankfully. But yeah, I feel like I'm just working through feelings of anger, or it's very like odd for me. So that's like a serious one, it's fine. It'll all be like, it's not a big deal. But yeah, I just don't get angry very often, so when it happens, I'm like, like last night, it was 9 PM, and I exercised my big dog privilege, and I brought a knife with me, and I just went out and took Lewis on a walk. I was like, I just need to get out of the house and just walk. - With a knife? - Well, I took a blade. - Yeah, I was like, I was like walking around like, we're tracking it, sticking it out, we're tracking it, sticking it out. It was late at night, it was dark, and I'm like, by myself, you know. - Okay, I'll give it to you. - Yeah, like our neighborhood's safe, but street lights are here on that right. They're just not that bright in Phoenix. So I have my big dog in my knife, and I was like, I killed, but I just need to go. - It was like, big dog privilege, as in the fact that you own a big dog. I thought you were talking about personality. You're like, I'm a big dog. - Thank you, Addy, yes. - Both. - Addy, so you grabbed a knife, that's really my massive dog. - Yeah, I was so happy. - Literally my horse next to me, I wrapped around my waist. - Yeah, it makes more sense. - Then people aren't terrified of me. - Yeah, it's because you're a little ginormous, and then a blade. - Yes, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. - But also, I was feeling like a big dog. I was like, someone could try to mess with me right now. It'll be set off. You know what you get that, where you're just in tunnel vision, your mind literally can't stop ruminating on the situation. - It keeps me up at night sometimes. - Yeah, I was ruminating all day yesterday. It was the morning, and then the whole day, I was just like, just thinking about it. So, yeah, I think anyone can relate to that. That's why I'm showing that. But the other one that set me off, this was like a funny one, and this could surprise me in my own sense, but yeah, I got really triggered by, okay, let me just set the scene, we're living Phoenix. Okay, it's very, very hot here in the summertime. You wake up at 6 a.m., it's 93 degrees. - Yes. - By noon, it's 115. So, that's just kind of where we're at in the season. So, you have to get your dogs out early in the morning to walk them, or you walk them late at night. Lewis has had many hurt paws. So, I'm very careful about this, because poor guy, it is a nightmare in our house when he has a hurt paw, because he has to wear a literal satellite dish cone around his neck that does not fit in our tiny house. And so, I'm not kidding, we have like one little hallway and his massive cone, though we have to get special ordered from our vet, has like two inches on either side. And so, it's just, you, you, you. He could stuck on every corner, every piece of furniture, every person. - Yeah, but it's not dogs at him once when you got home. - I thought it sounded bad. I was like, sorry Blake, you're dog sitting in, he literally is a massive cone. He has to wear his prong collar the whole time, 'cause it slides down and his long legs can still reach around it, it's just horrible for him. So, we're very careful about his paws. And I take him on a walk at 8, it was 8.30 in the morning. 95 degrees outside, very hot. But the sun was not up, okay? The ground wasn't hot, I go out, I put my hand on the concrete, I'm feeling it, I'm making sure it's not gonna burn his paws, I hold it there for a long time. I'm out there barefoot checking it. And I'm like, it's perfect. I take Lewis, we start running. As we're running, this lady drives past me with a big old dog hanging out her window. And all of a sudden, I hear, "Get some boots on that dog!" Yelling at me, she yelled at me out of her car window. It's so wild. And then I told Addie, I said, "If that lady had turned around, I knew immediately what I was gonna say. I was gonna say, "Honey, are you new here?" 'Cause Lewis ain't, "Hey, hey!" His paws are good. Did you come up with that ride away? - No, me neither, that's what I was gonna say. - I was gonna say, "Yes, yes." And I was like, they shouldn't turn around, 'cause I would have been in an altercation. Why are people yelling at people outside their car window driving by? That would really, I thought about it all day. I was like, "She yelled at me out of my car window." - And just kept driving by like that. - That was exactly what she should have done. - Yeah, I'm like, sorry, I'm not a reckless parent of my dog. Sometimes I don't like him, but I'm not reckless. He's loved-- - Let me tell you when I got yelled at this week. - If I'm saying it in my honor. - Someone, no, someone got yelled at me on a plane. - Ah, I didn't. - This week. This is my wow, that's crazy, actually. Someone yelling at me. - But, for your hard anger, I will-- - Yeah, so one was kinda afraid of that up and that up. - Yeah, oh no, I'm sorry. - I'm almost reactive, and one was serious, but. - The reason I asked is if it was reactive. Like, if you knew what you were gonna say, or if you had to think about it is 'cause I-- - No, me that could be-- - Featured on what I was gonna say to this man, if he turned around one more time. The whole rest of the plane, right? I was like, I know what I will say to you if you turn here. - Yeah, when he said something to me. - So, we're on this plane. We are coming back from vacation. Brielle is 11 months old, almost a one year old, the hardest time to fly. - Oh, four hour flight. We're in a window seat and a middle seat. That's what we got stuck with. Brielle's been really good. We mostly just let her watch Miss Rachel. We got little headphones for her. We let her just play on our lap. But she's tired, she is tired. There's an old man sitting in front of me. I'm in the window seat, and so he's in the window seat in front of me. And he doesn't turn around, he just lifts his head up and goes, stop kicking my seat. (laughing) - Sorry, I don't remember kicking your seat. My daughter did not kick your seat. If anyone's kicking your seat, it's me. 'Cause I'm trying to reposition, oh, also I'm four months pregnant, five months pregnant, 20 weeks, if you don't know. - It's a really short, like you're short. - I'm not tall. - You don't have fly legs that are in the back of my seat. - I'm just like trying to reposition my feet. Well, also there's a toddler sitting on me. (laughing) And he told me to stop kicking your seat. That was the first time. - Did you say it, did you respond? - Nope, didn't respond that time. - I just liked to play, 'cause I was like, "Sorry, it was happening." - He just got hit by a fine, whatever. Maybe he's having a bad day. Later on in the flight, Braille's crying. 'Cause she's tired. She's trying to fall asleep, trying to get comfy on me. I'm moving my feet a little bit. Okay, fair, I probably tapped his chair. But also, I was so worried about even just putting, getting something out of the back of the seat. - Yeah, then your parents bothering him. - Yeah, then your paranoid. - Hey, you need to stop kicking my seat. - Blake. - What did he do? - He stood up for his girl. - Hey man, we've got a baby back here. (laughing) And he goes, "That's fine, just don't kick my seat." (laughing) Blake didn't hear that apparently. - Daddy. - So he said that, and then that was where I was just festering, I was like, "What am I gonna say?" - Were you sweating? - Yeah. - Did you say I'm sorry? - No. - I said nothing to him. (laughing) - I said no words, no words to him. Nothing came out of my mouth. If he had anything else to say. So we had like an hour and a half left at the flight. I was very careful. - Yeah. - Not to touch his seat, not to let Briel touch his seat. Nothing. And so, and this is an old man, like 70. - Yeah. - I was like, if he, whenever we're getting off this plane, if he looks at us, we're tries to say anything. I will interrupt, and I will be like, unless you're apologizing, do not say anything to me. - Well, he was that rude about it. - Yeah. - And then, he didn't say anything. My other response was gonna be, hey, I have a one year old. I'm also four months pregnant. Could you just have a little bit of grace for us? That was my other response. I didn't say any of the, either of them, 'cause he didn't look at us. So I didn't say anything. (laughing) I told him. I'm like later on about the guy that he said, that's fine, just don't kick my seat. And like, I was like, oh, if I heard that. I'm like, what would you have done? - Because it weren't. - Like it was very. - No, it was very minimal. And she's literally crying while he's yelling at us. I'm like, we're just trying to be good to everyone else on the plane. And he's gonna hurt us up crying and sleep and stuff. So, people have kicked my seat a million times. I've never turned around to him. - I know, maybe that's just me. - I understand one time saying, I've been the person that's like, kind of turned around and looks. - That's fine. - If it's consistent? - I'd only do it one time. And then after that, I've said it. And if they keep doing it, it's not, it's not my question. - Yeah, and I'm like, there's a difference between it being like a little kid that is like actively pushing the seat. - Yeah. - There's a parent that can say something to them to stop versus, it's an adult that's accidentally touching your seat when she's trying to do something else. - It's like you're sitting there kicking your seat and being real. - And it was, yeah. And so I was like, oh my God, that was just such a crazy moment. But our flights were so much better than the ones we took. - Yeah. - Come on, once we go. - Oh, good, good. - Well, on the way there, we had an open seat, so like, so real to sat in the middle seat by yourself and watch the show. - So cute. - And then took a nap and then she finally let Blake hold her a little bit, which was just so great. She's becoming a daddy's girl. - Cute. - It's great, I can love you. - That's so be a little break. - I kind of love it. (laughing) - She's been a big mommy, she's close to me. - I know, she's getting an attitude too. So that's definitely the best. - She's almost mine. - Yeah, it happens, it happens best. - Over night, you're like, who are you? - Oh, sorry, that was gonna be my hard before today's appointment was. - Realists. - Yeah. - Having a personality. - When they start to exercise for the first time, their opinions on things, it's really exciting. And in some ways, it's really helpful. But then on the flip side, when they don't know how to express, they're like negative opinions. You know, just learning how to handle that. Especially at the start or like, whoa, wait a minute. She's in the throwing her head backstage, when she's mad about something, and she's just keeping her head everywhere, everywhere. Or we needed to give her a diaper change, and she's just not about it. She doesn't want to lay on her back, she's just. But we're good. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You become like a little WWE wrestler. - It's serious. - You're like, get in here now. - I'm in your life. - I can use my legs if I need your help to change your diaper. - You're like, good news gracious. - I have the perfect position when I have to do a snot suck. Arms out, stretch wide with my legs on top, and I'm squishing their head, and I'm like, sit still. - I've got it. It's so aggressive, and like, people saw this. They'd probably be really concerned. - But I promise it's a further benefit. - We've been best. - I'm like, I just wanna get that bugger. - It's great. - Well, thanks for sharing, guys. - Yes. - Yeah, we're all angry this week, so we're on our edge today. - I'm angry, I'm a little spicy. - I really did come back from vacation, little spicy. Thank you to Mara Beauty for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. We're entering into the fall season. Fall is all about getting back into a routine, and that includes finding a beauty routine that actually works for your life. Mara Beauty's thoughtfully edited line up is designed to help me get a natural polish look in just a few minutes, so I can spend less time getting ready, and more time out and about, enjoying my life, enjoying the fall season. Because when the calendar fills up again, five minutes is all you need to put yourself first. Thoughtfully edited line up of products is the perfect way to describe Mara Beauty. 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You can have free with your first order at marabeauty.com, that's m-e-r-i-t-beauty.com, marabeauty.com. Anyway, that was a lot, I was a good chitter chatter. (laughs) Should we do our wireless crazy? Yeah, oh my gosh, I forgot we still have wireless version. Yes. Wow, that's pretty, that's crazy. We're so all over the place with what we want to talk about today, 'cause there's so many headlines that we can talk about. And a lot of them, I don't necessarily feel like are helpful, like I don't have anything helpful to add to the conversation about a lot of the headlines. So Adi found this (laughs) Adi found this reality TV show that's filmed in my hometown. I actually don't have anything nice to say about this either. I don't know, but it's okay, I'll share it. Do you want to give the credit? The show is called The Double Lives of Suburban Wives, and it just got announced that they were coming out the trailer for it just came out, I believe. And it is about Suburban moms in St. Louis. And this one, I don't know about all the other moms, but this mom specifically is about how she also, her double life is that she makes adult content. And it's also sparking curiosity 'cause she also claims to be a Christian. - Okay, let's stop normalizing adult content. - Let's stop shining light on this industry. - No. - I don't want to, I'm not gonna want to show. I'm not gonna give it attention because what a temptation for the younger kids out there to go and they can make a lot of money making adult content. I'm sorry, I'm like fired up, thinking about that lady at the dog and my work dinner. - Now I'm really fired up about this own thing. - They're already in anger. - Shoot. - Okay. - Related. - Keep going, sorry. - No, that was, that's kind of the peak of it, of this article that I found about it. What, really, did you read this? - I read it, I said three fours of it. - Okay, my biggest gripe, not my biggest gripe. Tammy's lover Drew calls the day he posted a photo of his once insecure partner posing an underwear online. - All the people posted it of her? - Yeah. - Okay, so she's trafficked. - Although people couldn't see her face, the image blew up and that the next chapter of their life began to unfold. When I met Drew, I was a very, I'm not sure so many ads. I was very, very shy. I definitely was very self-conscious about my body. Tammy explains, I did not consider myself attractive at all. He's also saying she had no self-confidence. She kept telling me, no, I don't want to wear that because I don't feel like I could pull that off. I said, babe, you're so hot. As Tammy continues exploring the adult content space, there's one thing always in the back of her head, her strong Christian faith, which has her questioning the adult content is appropriate way for her to make a living. This is a quote, I thought maybe I can make money by doing this, but that has been a huge struggle because of my faith. Being a Christian and being in the adult content world, it's just as it sounds. It is very clashing. I do struggle with that. Like, yeah, I'm contributing to somebody's lust. - Oh, that's really sad. That actually gives me a lot of, I have a lot of empathy for her. I don't blame the women at all that are in adult content. I just feel women so strongly have been sold a lie. And I get really fired up at culture when they're like, oh, it's so, only fans is amazing for women because they get to have control. There's nothing, there's no point of women selling their bodies for sex with the woman in control. There's no point of the process of where that is the case. That's such a lie. - Yeah, I think it's, I go back to it. Honestly, when it clicked for me of that is, you know, you always joke by. You're like, you can sell your feet, pigs. And you're like, yeah, sure, whatever. Like, what I ever do that. And you're like, but what are they using those photos for? What are they using that content for? Oh, I don't want to be a part of that. I don't want to be contributing to that. I'm actually not in control because of what they're doing with my body. - With my body. That's actually not true. - Yeah, maybe they get to control the price and maybe parts of what they share. But it's just slippery slope. And people love to talk to a picture. You're like, that's it. Like, it's not empowering women. It's not, it's hurting women. And if we want to relift women up, then we need to call them to a higher standard of that and support them in that. That's just, it's not freeing or it's just, there's nothing good that comes from that. - Yeah, I feel like this is going to, because what it looked like is that this shows around wives and maybe even Christian women who also make a dark content. And I feel like this, we're gonna get into the territory. And by we, I mean, people who are Christians, the same territory that people felt with secret lives of Mormon wives of being like, that's not a Mormon. That is not who we are. I don't identify with that. This really like upsets me. And I feel like we can dip into that. Well, I'll probably feel the same way of being like, these people are not representing what it truly means to follow Christ and that be something. - Totally. - That we live in. - I would be interested at the show, like more talked about her struggle between the two, because I think that would be really honoring. Wow, I'm really struggling with this job and also what the Bible says about this, because God calls me to live a life of modesty and purity. And this is obviously causing a lot of struggle. And it's harmful to me. So I would be really, I think that actually be very interesting to see how she would process that, but not interested enough for me to watch it. - No, and as a proud TV stand, I will not be watching. watching it. I don't know. Just for the principle of it. I mean, I could see if like clips are popping up, I want to be in the know of like how are things being represented. It's also going to go into the conversation that's been, I mean, throughout the Christian world forever about modesty and what that means for people and how that relates to things. So I'm curious to see that conversation be brought back up again totally. I, I'm so, I feel like specifically when it comes to sex work, I, I always feel like the woman is manipulated. And even in that article reading that, it's like, Oh, her boyfriend encouraged her to get into it and was saying all this. And it's like, well, we just had to be so picky women about the people that we surround ourselves with. You are an average of your five closest friends. The people that are around you are going to influence your life so greatly. And if they're encouraging you to do things that are extremely uncomfortable, extremely unsafe or manipulating you to try to do something like this, gosh, like, yeah, she said she was insecure, like he just, he keeps saying she's, she's, she was so insecure. She was so insecure. Like, it's like she doesn't want validation from men. She won a validation from you. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I feel like that also is another, pulls into the fact of like how we speak about ourselves and to, and our, our others are significant others. I'm like, I always say Blake is so shy. I'm like, what if he doesn't like that? Like he is actually not that shy. Yeah. When you get to know him, he just is an introvert and he's not going to talk in a big public setting. I'm like, he probably doesn't like that. I call him shy or like how we speak about other people to them and to other people totally. Oh, I have so many thoughts about like the adult content. Maybe we'll make that another while that's crazy. And I have more formed opinions that I can share or maybe just take that one day. But I don't think people on a men maybe. I don't think many people in our audience probably disagree with me, but yeah, it's probably not that. It's okay. You could disagree with me, but not changing my mind on that. No. Yes. Yeah. That was it. Wow. That's crazy that I saw. That is so crazy. Honestly, like really interesting show concept. Yeah. Like that's really like if you're not, if you're into that, that's a really good show concept. Yeah. It says, um, TLC's new reality show highlighting the complexities of their marriages lives as parents and suburban lifestyles while making a mark in the adult content world. Oh, I just feel for women so bad because I know the poll is so strong. Like, you can make a lot of money. Yes. And also if you are seeking validation, you're going to get a lot of validation. And I just think it's so glamorized and then girls get into it and they have no idea what they've just started until you're probably passed it. And at first anytime you're getting into something like that, I'm sure it's exciting. You feel, you know, you feel good about yourself. You probably get, you're getting a lot of compliments. You're feeling like like this inflated viewpoint or sense of self from this. But then as you get in, all that starts to decrease. And then it almost feels like maybe like a drug where you're just trying to get that hit again. So you're doing more and more and more and crazier things. And it's such a slippery slope, like the PR and industry is such a slippery slope. And it's just so easy to get darker and deeper and do things that you just never thought you would ever do because that's just the nature of it. Yeah. Yeah. For that validation lifestyle. Well, it's just really hard to have boundaries and something that's already outside of what's like more really good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's just slippery. So I always feel sad for women and they like find out about that. Because I'm like, dang, I just feel like you're lied to. Yeah. I'm curious to see how how the show goes, how the public opinion goes and sues because I feel like my, the content, not necessarily that I consume, but the areas that I'm in. I have a lot of like Christian stuff and then I have a lot of secular things as well. So I'm curious to see if I see different opinions and different mesh of how that all works out within the world of social media. I know. It's good for us. It's good for me to hear all the opinions and then I'm like, no, I don't agree. And Christian's supposed to be humble and I'm like, no, I'm right. That's great. Well, Addy, we thought maybe we were going to be lying into our segment. So we have a funny game. Okay. Okay. There's actually Caleb's idea. This is a great idea. Oh, thank you. This is a blind rankings. Have you seen these? Yeah, yeah. Boy, could I have done fast food once? Okay. We're going to do a reality one blind? Yes, blind. It's 10 1 through 10. Okay, Addy. Number one. Where would you place 1 through 10 big brother? This is hard. I'm watching big brother right now. Okay. Oh, I don't know what all of them are going to be. I've actually only ever watched one full season of big brother. Okay. So let's go. But I like it. Let's go seven just because I haven't watched it as much as I'd like to. But I'm currently up to date with the current season. Okay. So seven. Where would you rank? Love is blind. I don't really watch that one as much as I should. Let's do eight for that because I it doesn't pull me in as much. But after the pods is interesting. It's really popular, but it's not what I consume. Love is blind. Oh, why was I thinking love on the spectrum? You're eight. What? Okay. Secret lives of Mormon lives. I want to know what all the other ones are. Okay. Secret lives of Mormon lives is good. It is good reality TV. Let's do. I'm trying to I'm pre-thinking what the other ones are going to be. I'm like, whatever you got. Okay. Let's do three. Three. Okay. That's good. I figured that would be in your top three. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Where would you put it? Survivor. I forgot. I wasn't. Okay. We need the music. Okay. I'm going to do survivor on four. Next one. Keeping up with the Kardashians. Nine. I don't watch it, but I do watch clips. So if they pull up, I want I consume the clip, but I don't turn it on. Perfect. Love Island UK. Got a UK and the US. Okay. UK's got to be one. UK is one. UK is one. Oh, interesting. Interesting. The best reality TV. Real housewives of Orange County. Do you have any? Okay. This is maybe the only real housewives one. Can we switch it? Okay. Yeah. Salt Lake City. Okay. Real housewives of Salt Lake City. Two. Wow. You have your one to three filled. One to three four. Yeah. I really like Salt Lake City. They're coming out with a new season soon. Then where would you put love Island USA? It's going to be go five probably. Amazing race. You haven't watched it. Ten below deck. Oh, below deck. That was good. That's good. That's good. It's okay. That needs six because I did put love Island USA at five. Yeah. Six. So below deck is good. Oh, you actually would have switched those. I don't know. I think that actually is a good spot for it because I'm always going to tune in to love Island USA, but below deck is a good one. Whenever like you don't have something to watch. I actually watched a season of that because my older sister forced me to when I was supposed to part him. Okay. Did you not like it? I didn't like it. I like. Do you like cruises? No. I think it's interesting. Like the like taking care of the cruising and the boating part. The boating part of it. So I think and then you have a drama and I'm like, yes, well, here's my thousand cruises. I haven't been on one since I was a kid. No, I just don't imagine myself liking it. Why? Because I like to vacation like free. You know what I mean? I don't want to be on a schedule or on a time. I don't want to be like taken to a place where I have to go or like confined to my choices within a boat. I want to just go to a city and just wander. Okay. See, I don't want to do that. Yeah. I want to be like, okay, you could go to trivia at two o'clock where you can lie by the pool. No, I don't want that. I don't want like games. Okay. Yeah. That's probably what I feel like you could do. You could maybe do like Italy cruise or something where you're going to where you get to see a bunch of different destinations. Yes. But I've also never done like a guided tour where like you go to a lot of different locations with different things. Here's my beef with like a European cruise. Is it got to be back on the boat? Yes. I don't want to be on the boat. You don't want to go to a late dinner and like I can see doing it was like a big family. Yeah. Okay. That was fun. That was fun. I like to like that. I honestly said me the last. I want to get Blake's ranking. Okay. I will be less than the list. Well, instead of Blake's always thinking it's where's quizzing him. Blake's always thinking of this week. I'll make it really quick. Was did you guys know where like how Gatorade was made? Like where it was made? No. Gatorade's made in Florida. It's from the Florida Gators. They're staff made the drink. And then it's called Gatorade. Wow. Yeah. I hope they made a bunch of money off of that. I'm sure they did. Wow. I learned that. I learned that at the airport. The Florida Gators. Like I said, are you like are you making that up? Like are you trying to prank me? He goes and goes around. So wow. That's my little tip of trivia for this week. Blake's always thinking. Our segment today is Addy on the hot seat because we don't get to hear a lot. We hear from you a lot, but we don't get to hear a lot about you. And so we want to know more about Miss Addy and just what's going on in your life. So we have some questions submitted from the audience. And there are a lot of I get to know your questions. And like I thought that's so that I won't prep. Okay. Just speak from the heart. Thank you to Hungry Root for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. You guys, this is very exciting. We created a cookbook with Hungry Root. Our cookbook is a personal collection of our favorite recipes and grocery items. Hungry Roots. Meals are Unbelievably good. Hungry Root built a delivery service that brings together meal kit convenience with grocery store variety to deliver everything. From daily staples, nourishing dinners that are personalized to be exactly what you want to eat. We cannot stop talking about our wagyu beef. All the meat and our meals was so high quality. The veggies are pre-cooked. The meals are simple. They are convenient. I want more hungry root meals than with them every week. They are delicious. These are some of the recipes that are mentioned in our cookbook. I picked the bison and veggie skillet. Oceago chicken sandwich in Zaltar cucumber salad, chicken strip, Caesar salad wrap. I mean, the variety on their website is really good from hearty meat dishes to maybe some more international cuisines that you want to try or that are some staples in your home. Go and check out and explore our digital cookbook on Hungry Root today and find recipes that are right for you. Go to HungryRoot.com/alwayshere to access our cookbook. Always hungry with Abby Howard's. Madison Troll wants to know, do you have any siblings? I do. I have two older sisters and a little brother. They're 28, 27, 29, 27 and I'm 25. Amy, are you 29? Sorry about that if I got that wrong. She's either 28 or 29 and then my brother is 20. So my mom had us all 18 months apart and then she had to have, they told her she needed to have a break after me because she had three C-sections and then so she waited five years and then she got my brother. Aw, sweet. So we're all over the map. My sister's in Texas. I'm here in Arizona. My brother's in Tulsa going to school in Oklahoma and then my other sister is in Missouri. Do you feel like you guys follow the birth order of personalities? You're a third. I don't really feel like that. No, I feel like everyone feels like I'm in the oldest because of my personality. Sorry Amy. Because even technically, there's a five-year gap you could have taken the youngest child dynamic. I think I have too big of a, maybe is the youngest child a big personality thing because I feel like I have the biggest personality. Out of my family, that is me. I'm the craziest one. Okay. Out of my family. I would say. And then my younger brother does fall into the youngest child category. He's five years younger than me. Yeah, he's a baby. And he's a boy. So he had three girls and then a boy. So he's just the baby boy. And he gets spoiled rotten by my parents. You guys are like, what? We tell all the time. He's the sweetheart of the family. Oh, sweet family. Okay. What type of dance did you do and how long did you dance for? I did competitive dance with contemporary style. So I did ballet, jazz, hip-hop, I quit tap, lyrical, back row, all those things out of studio. And I started late. I started in the third grade, which most people who do it competitively start playing on third. And then I competed all the way up until I went to college. And then I did the dance team, my freshman year college at Missouri State. And I also was on the dance team in high school for my school. And yeah, after my freshman year at college, I just, I wasn't, it just didn't feel like it was the right use of my time. I was, I loved the dancing aspect, but the social aspect that just didn't feel like it was right for me. And so I stopped after my freshman year and I didn't do authority anything. I just really got plugged in with our churches college, college ministry and did that. That's cool. Did you know that I had competitive dance until I was nine? You would never, so young to late. You would never have stopped. Yeah. I did it from like three to nine. What danced to you? Jerry Strides, the one that mad danced at. No, I never heard of them. We probably, we probably competed against you at some point. Yeah, probably. But yeah, I was already, you would never know. Never know that I ever danced that one. Yeah, we did a lot. I did, I did solos up until, I don't know when I stopped, probably maybe freshman year of high school or of high school, because I just didn't love the competitive aspect of competing against my friends. So I stopped doing because I was like, this isn't necessarily fun for me. And then I just did a duet with my best friend Abby and we did duets all growing up. And then we just had a bunch of group dances we did. Your best friend's name is Abby? Yeah, my best friend's name is Abby spelled A, B, Y. So we always, it's so funny talking about it because I'm like, when we're talking to my friends, we're talking about my, I'm like, my Abby. And I'm talking about her or I'm like, Abby Howard or Abigail, the same way I have a best friend named Rachel. And so does my sister. Yeah, it's the best friend named Rachel. And so I'm like, my Rachel Rachel Rachel. You used to make a possessive. Yes. Oh my gosh. Okay, let me go just and like, there's a good warm up one. Yeah, those are good. How does Blake feel about you being on social media? That's a great question. I feel like it's different now than obviously before. I want it necessarily say I'm very heavily into the social media. Like I have followers, but I don't really post a ton. He would encourage it if I wanted to step into it. I think especially now he works in social media. And obviously his sister works in social media. And so he sees what it can be and how that can work. It's just not something that I'm, I like want to take the time to do right now. Yeah. He's a little more private. So I feel like there are things that I maybe need to bite my tongue a little bit more on things that I say, which I have never said anything he's been comfortable with. But maybe more so than I personally am. But he's supportive of everything. Sometimes he's like, why don't you post? Why don't you do things? I don't, I do social media all day. And then I don't want to do it when I get off work too. No, I don't want to. Yeah. Literally. I'm trying to make a post about from the crew that I just can't bring myself to do a dump. I'm like, I literally just have to throw the pictures in there and I can't do it. Yeah, but you do have to think about it. You're like, what's the order of the pictures? How many too many? Yeah. How many as too many as the hardest? Oh, hard job is so hard. What am I going to put on my story or is it what am I supposed to? Is there something that you're doing differently? This pregnancy compared to your last? Did you do burn with Braille? I did. I've actually done, I did burn longer this time. Like I didn't do it my first 10 weeks with, I didn't start till 10 weeks with Braille. Yeah. And I've been working out the whole time and I've been able to. I actually feel like the only thing I'm doing differently is not caring as much. That sounds weird, but it's like I'm just living my life and and I know that I think I just know more so I don't have to think about every decision I'm making as much as I did before. I'm not checking the apps, not on purpose, which I was like so diligent about doing. Oh, one thing I'm not doing and I feel guilty about is I am not doing like a pregnancy book and like writing stuff in it like to document your pregnancy. Oh my gosh, I'm not even. I took pictures every single week with Braille. I haven't even taken one. And so I haven't even finished that book from my from my first pregnancy because it was really sweet. My mom got me a book, Blake got me a book and Blake's grandma got me a book last time. So as so many and I ended up just writing in the one Blake got me because I feel like while all of them were so sweet, I feel like Blake knows me best that it's so small and just like one line answers to know that like I'm not I'm not a writer. I'm not this super emotional person that's going to like write for days. And so I used his which is sweet to look back at, but I'm like, oh, I'm probably not going to have one for this pregnancy. Yeah, you could do a pregnancy page. I have a really amazing baby book for CJ that I like kept up with every month. I don't have a single, I don't even have a book for Vivian. I know. I haven't taken any book pictures. I haven't done anything this time. Yeah, I didn't do anything because my pregnancy was CJ and I was Vivian. I take a Polaroid picture every month. And now I have this stack of Polaroid pictures. I'm like, what in the world do I do with these Polaroid pictures? I have 40. I took one every single week. Why did I do that? I mean, it's cool. But yeah, what do we do with them? I'm like, but I hang it in my bathroom. Her bathroom is like, look like you did my book had a spot for all of them. So it was like, I had them in my book, but I'm like, here's the thing is half of the book has them taped in and then there's just 20 more hanging out that I have in there that just are shoved in the book and I close it. I have opened it up a couple times to be like, did I feel kicks yet? What was what did I not like eating? When did I start getting these things? And so I did look in there to be like to see if things were kind of similar. I just had a memory unlocked. Do you remember when you were a kid and you would make those books with all the pages and you would draw like a piece of the picture on each next page and then as you would flip it, it would do like a cartwheel. I never did one of those, but I've seen them. Okay, you could do that with your belly pictures. And it's like as you look through, you're like, it's bigger. That is kind of fun. That is kind of fun. Oh, that just unlocked that. You're like new craft. I don't know that I could draw one of those. Yeah, no, don't draw it. Just print it. Yeah. What was your first thought when you found out you were pregnant with baby number two? Oh, that's a good question. I was like, yeah, and then I was like, oh, shoot. Oh, shoot. I was like, oh, yeah, wait, oh, oh, oh, was it more of the baby aspect, like having another baby or more of another pregnancy aspect? Another pregnancy. That's my first sure another pregnancy. I wanted to baby so bad like I don't know what happened to me but I had this deep hunger that I was like I my woman's empty I need a baby I need it so then I got pregnant I was like yes you could see into my video I haven't posted anywhere I was like oh here we go here we go and it was definitely about just being pregnant again I didn't I mean I didn't I haven't had a horrible pregnancy I feel like people have had way way worse than me but I do get morning sickness pretty bad and when you just have a baby I was like oh I'm gonna have morning sickness and having to take care of real that's like I was like oh gosh that weight on you is crazy but and I feel like as Braille's gone older I've started I'm like okay this will be fun like she's gonna be a little bit older when the baby comes so I've also been like oh okay now Braille has an attitude it's just gonna get I feel like I'm gonna be parenting and then like caring for it like and so I'm like gonna be learning a lot yeah I'm like I feel like I know what to do with the baby and then I'm just gonna be learning what to do with Braille yeah the point no for sure and I have so many people to talk to and do that but I think that was my first reaction Blake's first reaction was he didn't believe me he asked me who his pregnancy test that was I said he said is that yours yes I was gay did he think it was like an old one no that's mine and so I think he was definitely more freaked out than I was and so I feel like there's always the emotions with that when like one person's a little more freaked out than you are I'm like no you need to be excited don't you dare be nervous at all yeah it's good that we don't all experience the same emotions at the same time no that's true we process in different ways that is true you imagine if you're both freaked out at the same time I'm sure it happens to people I'm sure but I was I was done that I was excited and do you feel like this pregnancy has a bit felt harder or how would you feel I think it's been a lot harder and I don't know if it's because I'm like taking care of a toddler too yeah or just I was sick longer this time and it was more at night which was just like so annoying because I'm like that's like Blake and I as time wants to be able to go so bad and I'm just like so I guess I need to go to bed too because I don't I feel nauseous right now and and so that was really hard on like me and our relationship and just like not getting a lot of one-on-one time together for sure meant it's been a lot more mentally hard I would say than like physically hard I'm getting to the point now where I'm like yeah I was working with we were working out together I guess I'm like I feel pregnant I was like doing lunges and I was like I can't lunges the same way that I used to which reminds me because I feel like I was what they're maybe even 38 weeks pregnant and I was at burn last time and I was doing lunges and I start crying because I was like I can't move my body I was just like I lost the mental game I can't do that but I think this pregnancy has been a lot more a lot harder mentally than my previous pregnancy with preel and I feel like that has kind of passed now now that I'm feeling like movements it's it's a lot better you all good oh yeah she's moving and grooving but what did you start feeling them I think I started feeling them at like 17 I think it was 17 which was ironic because at 16 weeks I had my checkup and they had a hard time finding her heartbeat which was scary a lot you didn't tell me about that oh yeah they had a hard time find the nurse did it and she found it but I just like didn't feel right about it like it was just it didn't sound right to me it just sounded so loud it just sounded different than when I've heard the baby's heartbeat before I don't know why but it was 150 beats per minute so that was good but I was like I don't know and then when she left when we were waiting for the doctor I asked like I said Ken I'm like is it weird for me to ask the doctor to check again like I feel crazy for having her do that but it just didn't feel right to me yeah and so then doctor came in and I asked her to do it and she did and she was like I'd be worried if it was your heartbeat at 150 but like she was confident that it was baby but even when she was doing it she was like she would like catch it for a second and then it would and then she would lose it again and so she was just like either the baby moving a lot or she thought I had an anterior placenta maybe because she could hear the placenta and the heartbeat through the placenta so she knew I was everything was fine and she got to a point where we heard it for a little bit so I was okay I felt better about it but that was like scary that was the first time I've ever experienced that and then the next week I started feeling kicked so I was like that I don't think I have an anterior placenta I have a baby that moves a ton because even during the ultrasound today she's like she just keeps it moving around I was like I know I can feel it I love that yeah keep moving good yeah I know I'm like I like it yeah I feel the cheer there yeah that's really sweet sorry guys I'm taking a drink of my instant hydration thank you it's a hydration for sponsoring this portion of today's episode whether you're working out spending time outdoors traveling or just trying to feel your best hydration matters I immediately know when I'm not hydrated I just and did you know that hydration affects almost everything energy focus workouts and even how you feel throughout the day instant hydration is a premium electronic drink makes designed to support hydration energy recovery focus and overall performance without sugar or unnecessary additives the flavor of these instant hydration packets is really delicious I'm currently drinking and obsessed with the strawberry lemon flavor it is the perfect amount of sweet instant hydration uses authentic french graze sea salt imported from France so it's naturally harvested and rich and naturally occurring trace minerals but it doesn't taste overly salty for a better way to stay hydrated check out instant hydration and go to instant hydration dot com slash always here use my promo code always here for over 40 percent off your first subscription order it's instant hydration's best offer available that's instant hydration dot com slash always here promo code always here what is the best unexpected joy of being a mom wait oh this one's fun when they learn how to hug oh my gosh yes like she just can grab me and hug me now which is just been so sweet and like want like pulls me in close like can get that grip and and once that and like if I'm playing with her and then pull me in and close she's been like hugging her toys too and just like hugs from a baby are just so sweet oh my gosh so I think that was unexpected and when she the first time she like wrapped her arms around me I was like and she's like holding on I'm like crying oh my gosh we would it before she would do it intentionally we would before she would go to bed we would make her hug Blake and I and so I would bring her I would put her on Blake and then he would hold her and I'd go around behind her behind him and I'd grab her arms around and pull him around her and his neck yeah or like this is so sweet oh Billy the baby hug so man it really is the best that's not expected what does Addy have a degree in I had he has our masters I do I have an undergraduate in human resource management and a graduate degree in business administration and a certificate in human resources so wow HR business admin before before coming and working for Matt and Abby I worked as a recruiter for an online mortgage online mortgage company and my goal was to like work my way through there and end up being a business partner which within their company just meant you were the person for the people and that's what I wanted to do is just like help people and be an advocate for them within our the team so I know people get scared of HR but I wanted to be on the side of it that's helping the people who are going through things rather than the policies and all the things with that nature I would know all of it but I wanted to go into HR and be on that side of the world yeah I'm sure you're really good at that job do you feel like you're still kind of do that job now with that I mean yeah I definitely do I'm we don't have an HR department but if there was one I am it and so I feel like I I'm a manager of the people that work for our team so it's me and then I directly report to Matt and Abby there's so many threads that I want to do with them I don't because it's just it doesn't work but it doesn't work there was a one that I came across today that was it to you because I could say you're my boss too oh I didn't know that I mean you're my boss I think it's a problem because I do sometimes act like your guys is Bob I think it's an antibiotic relationship it was one that said go into your boss's office and ask if they would go get margaritas with you right now I'm like well I know if I wasn't pregnant I feel like I would go I was like going to bats office is like would you want to go get margaritas right now I feel like he's like let's go I feel like what margaritas midday I know I'm like because it's funny because they're they are my boss has been not in like the typical sense of what you would think of for your boss or there are ones where you're like bringing around you get an old picture of your boss and you bring it to them and take can you sign this for me and so I'm like oh I wanted to do that to them of like old pictures can you please sign this for me I'm like I need to start a he starts selling autographs online for some sign money - These are taking us to a house. I'm like, that never touched us. (laughing) - It's so funny. - It's so funny. - No, I'm definitely the type A organized, I like the business side of the world. I love a good spreadsheet, I like being organized. I don't have enough time to have everything organized the way I would like to, but when I can, Hannah and I have been working in this spreadsheet for a couple of weeks and I like it. Hannah is creative, so she probably hates it. But Hannah's on our team. - Yeah, Hannah's on our team and she helps me. I say I help people with, like I'm the brain of people and Hannah's the brain of me. - Oh, she's great. - Yeah, Hannah, so. - That's a good, that's a good answer. A Jessica Klaus, Klaus, she said in all caps, I've been waiting for this. How do you find the time to work and be a full-time mom? 'Cause you work full-time. I work full-time, I also have my daughter full-time. I have a babysitter on days that we record and other than that, she's with me. I've taken some pictures and videos of what that looks like. Current sketch, currently how that works. Braille takes one nap a day, so we've kind of changed everything recently. But a lot of the time it's while she's eating breakfast, I'm sitting there on my computer working while she's eating breakfast. And then once she's done, we sit on the ground and she plays and there's an end table in our living room and I put my computer up there and I'm typing on my computer and working while she plays around me. She's really good at playing independently. There are days where she's not and those are just the harder days. But there are days that she'll just literally play by herself the whole time and then I'll give her her bottle and put her down for a nap. And so it's kind of just working in between it. I feel like there's gonna be a time where I don't necessarily love working in front of her as much but I don't think at this moment in time she understands what's happening. And so with having a budget and having two working parents who both work part, like kind of hybrid, I work in person some days. Some days I work from home, like is the same way. We just try and find a routine that works. We have a sitter that's watched Braille since she was like three months old. And so she comes over on the days we records and watches Braille and comes over if there's any other time that I need to just work in person or there are days that I know that I'm gonna need to work a lot. And so I'll get a sitter. But right now that's what I do. My mom also is here like every other month for a month at a time. And so when she's in town, she watches Braille. She's also working full time. So my mom is just amazing like seriously. And so she'll come over and we'll kind of tag team working at the same time and watching Braille at the same time. She's watching Braille right now. Shout out to Sean and we'd love her. And so my mom is also gonna be retiring soon and so that she can be a full time grandma, which is just so sweet. And so I don't take that for granted at all. She knows my biggest fears for her to ever feel like a babysitter. And so we wanna make sure she stays in the grandma position. So we kind of do what works, but she loves it so, so, so much. Yeah, just having a support system around us. Also, I work for my family. They know if things come up. There's been a time where I had a sitter who got the time wrong. I, my mother also works here and watches the kids. So if there's ever something that comes up, she's also more than willing to watch Braille. I just don't wanna ever take advantage of the, she's helping them right now. So I also wanna be able to not have to overload her that way. And we got two more babies coming. I mean, baby is coming and then my baby's coming. I wanted to say his name. But, we know the names of both the babies. And so I feel like that will just change everything. But hopefully by then, my mom will either be close to being done or done with work at that point. So it would be, it will be great. I feel like you guys all do a really good job of navigating those. Well, also just like your parents, I mean, my parents and kids' parents do. They're also willing to hang out. They don't see it as babysitting most of the time. Yeah, exactly. You know, and it's such a blessing that they want to hang out. It's such a good, it's such a blessing. It's seriously, I know it's so hard for a lot of people. And I mean, even those months that like, or the month that my mom's in time is always so helpful for us financially too, with like her being willing to watch her and not needing us to pay her doing those things. It's like, I feel bad for my babysitter 'cause she likes her hours, but I don't really. But yeah, it's, I'll post a video sometime, or I can insert it here of literally me sitting, just to be like, this is how it is. Yeah. There are also some days where I have meetings during the hours that Braille's awake and she's being fussy. I will put on a show for her while I take my meeting and she'll sit and watch it and I don't really feel, I don't feel bad about it. I'm doing what I need to do. And so. Most of us would do that. Yeah, one show. Yeah, she loves it first. And I like the TV's on for eight hours, I don't know. Yeah, that's exactly. Yeah, 'cause like you're fine. I like this question a lot. Was your first date awkward? Do you remember your first date? Yeah. I don't really know. I remember my first date. I feel like my first date with my husband, or just in general. Just like your first date ever, and then last year, first date with like two. I don't remember my first date ever. Because I think when in high school, you would just go to the person's house. Yeah, or hang on in a group. Like I don't ever, I don't really ever remember going on a first date to like a restaurant. Probably went and got ice cream with whatever boy this was. I'm like, gosh, I'm sick that I can't remember what it was. It was like for me. I'm even trying to think about like, the boy friends I've had other than boys. I have a list. Well, we're my first date. You don't keep a running list of the first dates I went on with them. I have a list of kids on my phone. Caleb is like, why don't you leave that like that? I never want to forget. I could have that. But I don't remember. I'm trying to think about my first dates with my boy friends. Yeah, I don't know. They don't run together. Okay, but the first day of Blake go. So I'm gonna say this is our first date 'cause I don't really remember our actual first date after this. But we went and got dinner at Gars, which was a dining hall at our college. So he, well, here's the thing he's supposed to meet me for lunch. He was late. I had dance team practice. So he, if he wasn't there by a certain time, I had probably like 25 minutes to eat. That was it. Oh, it was like, and he, and he was late. That's like a drive-by. Hey, what are we talking about? Well, it turned into a date. This was just eating lunch. 25 minutes. Yeah, it was just, it turned into a date. Hey, 25 minutes, you wanna check? He was like 20 minutes late to my 25 minute lunch. Yeah. So I left. Yeah, of course. I had got you left for five minutes. I had practice. So I left. I thought that was kind of a bummer. For him? Yeah, but did you feel bomb? Like, he's not showing up? Yeah, I didn't even tell you about him. Can you tell me about him? Is that nothing changed? He's still late. (laughing) I could even tell him. No, and so he didn't know. But still, like if you were saying you're gonna meet someone for lunch, you don't be 20 minutes late. Yeah, on the first date as well. (laughing) So after that, we planned to get dinner together. So then we went to the dining hall. There, we sat, we ate. I have no idea what we talked about, because I just know that we shut the dining hall down. They closed. Oh my God. So then we moved outside and we sat outside at a table outside of the dining hall. And so we talked for like four hours. I think part of that also was he couldn't go back to his dorm room yet. Oh, because his. There's a lot of business happening. Yeah, there was some business happening here. (laughing) He was told not to come back. Oh, perfect. So we were also still talking for a long time. Well, it benefited you. It did benefit us. So that was like our first time alone together for a long period of time. Yeah. I feel like that was your first date. Is it down awkward? Yeah, no, I don't remember it being awkward. That was awesome. What was your first date with Caleb? I still want to remember my first dates with other guys. I'm trying to think. The first time we were hung out, I went to his house. So I don't really count that as a date. I don't remember the first time we went out to like a date. I don't remember, unfortunately. Oh, we went, actually I do remember. We went to a flip. Oh my gosh. How could I ever forget this story? We went to Chipotle. I had never heard of Chipotle at the time. This was 2013. And they had just opened a lot. Honestly, it might have been a long time. I had no idea what this restaurant was. And Caleb had a buy one get one free burrito. So he used the coupon on our first date to get a buy one get one free burrito. I thought I was only allowed to get a burrito. I've never, at this point in my life, eaten a burrito. And so what I tell you, this burrito was mostly on my lap and the floor, I was so embarrassed 'cause I feel like a child. I was, it was such a mess. It was everywhere. They stuffed those burritos and I was just, it was everywhere. I was so embarrassed. Oh my God. And after that, he told me to his house, he grabbed me a sweatshirt that I still have. Yeah, I kept it. And we went to the football game for high school. And then after that, he went to Sonic and got ice cream. And which is like the best day ever. I was like, I'm obsessed with this guy. That's so cute. Yeah, never gonna break up with him. And before I went to college, so that was in October, we started dating. And I remember before I went to college, my sister's and my mom asked, so when are you gonna break up with Caleb before you go to college? And I said, I'm never gonna break up with Caleb. here we go. - Yeah. - I love that. - Yes, there was never a mind. - That question made me think of, my friend group is gonna do a, we're gonna do a PowerPoint night about just like the history of ourselves. - The history of ourselves. - We all met here like two years ago, and we're like a year ago. We're all from different parts of the country. - Yeah. - And so we're like, I have no idea how many boyfriend you've had or what you went to college for. - Mm-hmm. (laughs) - These things. - Give me the basic facts. - Where are you from? What's your hometown? - What are your siblings names? - Yeah, exactly. Do you have these siblings tell me? - No, literally. - That's actually a good idea. We should make our parents do those for us, 'cause I know nothing about my parents. We, I've been learning a lot about them lately. I'm like, I know. - Oh, that's a good idea. - I like to do a PowerPoint. - Yeah. - Okay. - I like this one. Erin, Erin and Fountain said, "Tell us what you really think of microplastics." (laughs) - It's dying. - Potato? - Come on, I'm gonna pick you up. - Call us out or not be us. (laughs) - I just think we may have your bought-in on this. - We live in a world where we all just want to be scared of something. - That's actually valid. - And I don't know. I'm saying, I don't know that this is gonna have that much of an effect on my life. Maybe a year or two. I'm willing to give that up to live my life. Not thinking about microplastics. I think that's my opinion. - Yeah. Well, I love that the Lord is not giving you a spear to fear. It is not. And also, I don't wanna do the research. - Okay, I'm glad you're admitting that. - I don't. I don't care to do the research. So I'm just gonna live in the world that it doesn't exist. - You don't have to do the research. I told you about the documentary. - I watched the documentary and I thought it was questionable. (laughs) - At most, questionable. - At best, she said. - At best. - It got me. (laughs) - Here's, this could be, this could go into my. - You're kind of chic. - In my kind of chic thing. Also, was that like, if Blake had a strong opinion about it, he could change my opinion. - I mean, if your husband's strong opinion is kind of chic. - Yeah, kind of chic. - I agree. (laughs) - He does the same for me. - To let his decisions run my world. (laughs) - I mean, you love his brain. - I love his brain. - Yeah, I'm like, I don't really care. I'm like, I love how it kills. I love his brain. - So when Blake and I both align that we're like, I don't think is that important. There are things, if we use glass, top of where? - Is that new? - Ur, new word. - And we use it to microwave things, yeah. - That's smart. Yeah, I stopped steaming my frozen vegetables in the bag. I stopped microwaving those in the plastic. - Those are gonna be good. - But you could just throw them in the glass bowls. And then you don't worry about it. - Then you have to clean that dish. - Okay, sorry. - I love it. - No, I really just don't care to live in fear or change things about my life. That's just, I'm not that I'm afraid of change. It just seems like a lot of work. (laughs) - And I'm not all in, well, you-- - There are areas that I'm sure that, like, I would change things, but I just don't want to. So that's on-- - All in my own time. - On my own timeline. And so-- - If it ever comes to that, you'll do it. - If it comes to that, I will. And you just haven't had a reason to yet. And maybe that'll affect me down the line. But-- - It's good. - When there's a season of, like, change, like, hey, we're gonna hopefully buy a house soon. And we're, we're taking some stuff out of our house and we're getting new stuff. I'm like, maybe I'll choose different things. - Yeah. - But I'm not gonna go through my house right now and change things. - Sure. I don't blame you. - I love it 'cause I, like, all three of us have such different personalities. Or different opinions and personality types. And I'm like, we're good. - I am one of the least crunchiest people you'll meet. - No, it's good. - It's good that we have all, it's good that we have all types. - Yeah. Okay. Let me, I want to look at my left foot. - Full list. - No, I have it. - Alexis, you were once to know how it was being on the cruise while pregnant. Did you have sickness or was it okay? - No, I didn't. - Okay. - I have been on a cruise pregnant before with Brielle. I did have sea sickness. It was because of the rough seas. I would just say if you're going on a cruise, a really safe bet is, like, one to the Bahamas area on the coastal side of, like, Florida or Galveston. In those areas. And I wouldn't do anything like transatlantic or anything that's going to have a lot of storms. So usually, like, it's always pretty calm down there. - Interesting. - But no, I didn't, I didn't have any sea sickness. The, I will say funny thing about it. If you're going to go on a cruise pregnant, there is a certain limit most of the time for, like, what, how pregnant you can be. Because they can't, if you're past the point of viability, they usually don't let you cruise because they don't have the medical procedures to help if something happens. They don't have the resources. But still, I was 18 weeks pregnant on my first cruise and I was sea sick. And one thing I learned that is if you're throwing up, and by that point in your pregnancy, it's probably also, you're going to be paying too. I would run to the bathroom, take my pants off. - You're paying all the time. - I was paying all the time while I was throwing up. 'Cause I was throwing up a lot. - Perfect. - Sorry. - You don't need to clip that, that's too bad. (laughing) - Too vulgar. (laughing) - I don't think we're going to be like, why do you keep saying that, like? - Listen, what you're saying. - Okay, we'll do one more question. - What is one thing that you have learned about motherhood from both Abbi's? - Ooh, that's really good. - I learned so many things, just to say one, and try and think about like, each of you guys individually. Because I feel, I can, all of these, like the things I feel like they relate to both of you guys, but I just think about them in different ways is, I have learned from you Ann Caleb is like, the expectations you hold of your children of, this one's a wrong word, but you're like, if this is what we're gonna do, this is how we're gonna do it, and if you don't follow that, then like, so I feel like I've learned a lot in that area. I mean, there's obviously other things, but that's like, I think about that a lot, when we're together, or different things like that, I'm like, I like the way they're doing that, I like the way that they're setting a standard in their household, even if it seems kind of silly, about whatever's going on, it's just a standard of what's happening there, and so I have learned that. I feel like that's an area that I'm like, so curious about how I'm gonna develop in, so I feel like I'm always figuring those things out, with Abby just like, how present she is, with like, playing with the kids, and just like, being a part of their life. I feel like I'm so easily like, hey, I'm not a kid, like that's not fun for me, that I'm like, so watching her just like, play with the kids, and do that is really sweet, and her and you know, I've been like, ah, I wanna make sure I'm really involved in that way, with the kids there. Both of you guys, just the way that you guys love your kids and talk to your kids, and everything, honestly, you guys are creepier. I learned stuff from you guys every single time I run around you, so I really love, I really love being in a season behind you guys, so that I can, I have something to look forward to, like I feel like if we were all in the same season at the same exact time, I'd be comparing a lot more, versus now I get to watch and learn, which I really enjoy. It's been so fun having Vivian be a month behind you, because even though I've done it once with CJ, like every kid is so different, and it's been really fun watching you and Blake literally a month ahead, and seeing how you are like, so involved in the milestones of with Brielle, and I feel like I learned a lot about feeding Vivian from watching how you guys are with her at dinner, 'cause you're so, just like willing to let her try, and I feel like you guys are very, you're very good about scheduling, and like keeping her like regulated, but you're also so just like fun and relaxed with her, and I feel like you guys are willing to try things, and just, I don't know, like you take certain things seriously, but the things that you hold loosely, I like really respect, and I love watching, and so I feel like for me, I'm like, oh, okay, they're working with Brielle on walking, and like holding her up, it's like, oh, I need to start doing that for you, or with Vivian, so it's been really fun watching just even a step behind, so I get what you're saying, like having people a little bit ahead of you is so fun, because you just get to watch what they're doing. - Yeah, I think that's really sweet. I think it's, I would say the same thing, honestly for myself as being about how strict I am about certain things, but other things I'm like, with her eating, and I'm like, whatever she wants. - Oh, okay. - Brielle's eating, right? Get her surprise, get her surprise. - Brielle's doing it like good. - Oh my gosh, she's like, pay of the life for us. - I, there is, I think there is something about me where I, I said it a little bit earlier too, but it's like, I don't live in a world of fear, which is good, but also, there's a good, there's a healthy amount of fear to different things. I'm like, I should know, like if I'm gonna be open about whatever Brielle eats where I'm like, she can have whatever she wants, and we'll figure it out. I should also know where the choking thing is in our home. - Do you? - We have one. - Yeah. - I think you go on the side of it. - I'll go find it. We were talking about them the other day, and I was like, I need to find that. - I actually, after that conversation, I went and found ours too. - Yeah, so I need to find that. So I feel like if I'm gonna have one way, I also need to be protective on the other areas, but again, with her schedule, that is something I'm consistent on just because my rest is important to me. And so I'm like, if it's important to me, it probably is important to Brielle. She probably loves her rest too. - Yeah, so. - Yes, she slept for, you guys have been telling me, "Let her sleep, let her sleep." - Yeah, you can wake her up. - She slept for three hours and 15 minutes, which was just like, for her nap. And I was like, I needed to work so bad. And I was like, thank you. Did she sleep at night? Yeah, she slept so good. I know, we're trying to get her back on our schedule, but she's been fine adjusting. That was one thing that really surprised me is we were three hours ahead. She went right back to normal. But we also put her to bed at a normal time when we got back. I think the travel days make it weird with naps anyway that it's like, you can actually just put them back to bed at a normal time. We're so out of it. So I feel like when they're little, like the wake windows, I would wake Vivian up, like, okay, she needs to have the two-hour wake window. But then, yeah, as they get older, I'm like, I'm like, she's in between four and a five-hour wake window. Like, she can. She'll figure it out. That baby's whoop. I know that my mom's watching her tonight because we have Blake's work party. And I was like, mom, she can't. You and I are pretty good at letting our babies just sleep or put themselves back to sleep. And I was like, mom, if she wakes up before 6am, do you not get her? Do you not get her? She can have some quiet times. Well, have quiet time. And she'll fall back asleep. Like, I promise you, well, if she only sleeps for 15 more minutes and then at 6.15, you can get her. Yeah. It's just if there's not a six on the clock, you can. Yeah, it's okay. 'Cause we're trying to get her back on our time. So it was, I'm like. No, I am strict on that. The patch up to grandma is so real. You're like, do not. Here are the things you can do whatever you want. Yeah, it's just not this. It's the sleep. The sleep is where I don't mess with. My mom's left in C. Dijero when she came. It's Dijero. I don't know. I'm just right. He was waking up like 5.30. So excited that she was literally next to him. And she would get out. I'm like, do not leave that room until seven minutes. I'm scared. You come out even there. She's also trapped in there. She's like. I'm like, do not. She just sleeps C. Dijero. Like, the light is red. Yes. Okay. That's really fun. We've been talking a lot. We're going to move to Patreon. Have you guys seen the kind of chic trend? Yes. I'm seeing that. Yeah, they've been good. So we're going to go do that on Patreon and we're going to give our kind of chic opinions. Yes. And the actually hot takes. I think. But this is Addy's hot takes. You might want to bend it. I used to really hate wearing bras. I actually did not buy a single bra from the years of eighth grade to junior year of college. Honey Love has changed the game for bras and undergarments. Honey Love is an independent female-founded brand with products designed by women who actually wear them, including the founder Betsy. Honey Love is now offering a crossover triple bra bundle. So if you want a full refresh on your top drawer, you can get huge savings by buying three at once. They have such good fitting bras. I love that they don't have underwire in the cup. Bross over bras, what I'm talking about. It's seamless. It's smooth. It's just a really well-fitting, supportive bra. 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From someone who had a boyfriend all throughout high school, multiple boyfriends was a little boy crazy, always needed, guys validation, needed to be talking to someone. I wish I was content in singleness, so I don't have any advice. But speaking from someone who's been in that position, I would try to figure it out. Your question was advice for someone that's in a relationship and is to be content in singleness. I think I look back on high school and regret a lot of my other relationships and I'm glad that I met other people before Caleb and talked to them and stuff but I don't think I needed to be so serious with people and not that I really was with that many people but I am really grateful that I obviously wouldn't change anything with Caleb but I look back before them. I'm like, "Man, why was I so felt such a pressure to date in high school when literally you're going to go to college or a trade school or go get a job and you're never going to think about it too well ever again?" It's just a blip in your time and I feel like it's kind of just more so dating. It's just more fun and that's like the culture and the vibe in high school and it's really the first time you get big crushes and stuff. So I understand those feelings but I think contentment comes from perspective and if you can take your perspective out of this high school bubble that you have and you look over your life and you think about eternity and then you think about this line and your life on this rope, high school is right here. You're just at the beginning of your life, you're just starting and so you have all this life left to date and to meet people and you're going to be more mature and you're going to be better and making decisions and you're going to be a better judge of character. And so if there's anything right now in high school that you can think about it's like it's only going to get better from here. So I can be content now being alone. And maybe some people hear that and they're like that's not true Abby because I'm in my 30s and like still single but I think in the grand scheme of like maturity and of life I would say that's probably the general true. I'm trying to think I'm like in high school I don't know if this is what necessarily have worked but maybe it would have worked for me in college of being like I am preparing myself now for my future husband or for who I'm going to be as a future wife and in that I really want to grow in who I am and know who I am and do that now. And then when I get to college I'd love to start diving into those relationships and trying to figure out what that's going to look like for me and trying to find my husband. So maybe it's just a perspective thing of okay I'm single. I know what I want to maybe start looking for who might be my future husband but right now my perspective is to grow in who I am. Yeah. Maybe if I would have had that perspective maybe it would have helped. I don't really know. Yeah I think that's a really good advice. How can I become the best version of myself spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, financially and obviously that sounds so silly to say to someone who's like in high school but those are the things that you're going to start working towards as you become an adult and just have fun with your friends. Yeah. I feel like the only thing that probably would have worked for me would be like give myself a timeline. I'm like I will not have a boyfriend for another year. Then you have a timeline to be like okay then when you completely take it off the table. Yeah. It's mentally off the table. Yeah. They aren't worried about it. I feel like maybe that would have lured somebody out of me right now. And then I found like that's what happened to me. I feel so much. I don't know. Girls go on like dating fast and then I feel like it's because you're not thinking about it anymore. I feel like focus on yourself. Yeah. You're not stressed about it anymore. So I almost didn't date. I actually told him now and then a month later we started dating. So did you told him that? Yeah. He kissed me. He kissed me and then afterwards I told him that I didn't want a boyfriend and then another girl started to like him who's now a famous and an influencer. Perfect. And I was like. And then we started dating. He was like cool. Anywhere. Oh yeah. Hi, I'm just an addy. My name is Ella and I'm dating my high school sweetheart so I noticed I was about three. And recently I told them I'm about a fight that we had and I think it lowered her opinion of him. And I just liked my wife on how to help my mom see him more positively again after hearing about the fight. Thanks for the podcast. Shoot and I feel bad that I said that in this episode. I mean that's the hard thing of I mean what ages listen, it's just going to take time. It's going to take time. I think also you just know that your mom loves you and is trying to be like to you. She there. I mean if this was like I don't know what age they are like I'm like if you're in high school and you're telling your mom about a fight that you had with your boyfriend, she is coming from a different perspective like oh my gosh there's so many other fish in the sea. Like you have plenty of time to find someone that is her perspective of like you can find someone better. Yeah, this is someone you've been dating a long time, you're in college. I don't know. She's just married to her high school sweetheart, dating high school sweetheart so you're not in high school anymore. Oh okay. Wouldn't be my guess. She's probably so coming from that perspective like you guys might be getting married soon and she's trying to be protective over that. I have such a different answer to this for dating than I do, marriage. Yeah. Because of a dating I'm like you should listen to her concerns. Yeah. Follow her advice but you should listen to her concerns and take it seriously but you know what's true hopefully you know but also it's good to have our families as benchmarks and for them to voice concerned and then you can take it back like that's actually true or know that's just like they're just misunderstanding. And having clarity on that but you should listen to that and if she's wrong and that's like not actually his character and that was just a weak moment of his and it's even that you can overlook and you want to forgive and it's not a repeatable thing then just give it time with your mom and she's got to earn back his trust and I think that's a good thing. Yeah. I think that's something you can like I mean he should be aware of too that okay you confided in your mom about the situation, and she's not taking it well. And so I think-- I think that, I mean, depending on the situation looks like does that mean a conversation? I don't know, like, it might be to be like, I know I hurt your daughter and that was not my intention and I'm gonna do everything I can to get your trust back. - That's a good idea. - That will go a long way. - Like with her far. - So, I think that just, it depends on than the specific situation and what happened, for sure. - I think that's really good advice, Adi. I think in these moments, you're like, oh, I messed up, like, the tendency could be to like, wanna protect him from your mom and then also wanna like, maybe not tell him that he said that to protect his feelings and like, he's gonna feel uncomfortable on your mom, but then also like, I think the best thing is just being honest and like, working through that uncomfortable, like, you're saying Adi, if he has a convert, yeah, maybe he needs to have a conversation with her where he's like, I will actually was wrong and I'm sorry, I already apologized to your daughter. I know that she told you about it and I'm sorry I treated her that way. This has been an eye opening for me to learn that I shouldn't react like that. - Yeah. - And sometimes that's the best thing because now he also has accountability for whatever it was and you guys learned through that. So that's really good advice, Adi. - Hi, this is Gabrielle, so I'll be married for five years coming up this August and you know, I'm still having a hard time with navigating conflict in marriage and like, how to like, have healthy conflicts. You guys have any advice for like, I don't know how to deal with like anger or like frustration with your spouse. Thanks so much, I love you so, bye. - I don't, when I'm feeling really angry, I don't do anything. I don't make any decisions. I don't speak if I'm not in control of my tongue because I don't want to say anything in anger that I'm going to regret. I always think it's okay, it's not a sin to feel angry but it's not okay to sin in your anger. And so if what I'm feeling is not gonna leave me to a good decision or make the correct move, I just sit on it and I wait. And that's the best, that's been the best thing for us in our marriage that happened yesterday with my work thing. I'm like, I'm not making any decisions or talking to anybody about this until I've worked through the anger and it settled down because I don't want to say anything out of line. So I just feel like, you'll find what works best for you but yeah, I don't do anything angry. - I mean, I feel like you're so learning. I mean, every year is gonna be different in your marriage. I mean, you're growing as people and growing into different habits and you learn how to fight with your spouse and how to get under their skin and then you learn, oh, I shouldn't do that. And then you're like, you know the different ways, like Blake is very, very, very patient. And so when it gets to a point where I've pushed and passed that patient's limit, I'm like, oh, see, I thought I could get a little further into that but and so I am, I don't have any advice. - I mean, we've recently said I don't want to marriage to be marked by anger and fights and yelling and so I feel like that's been an encouraging, like, remembrance for myself. I feel like I'm also pregnant. So there's just weird emotions and feelings and different levels of anger than there have been before. Figure out who needs time, who likes to figure it out in the moment and I feel like that. - I feel like that's where a lot of people's disagreement, like where it escalates for a lot of relationships is the difference of how they want to approach it and figuring that out and coming into agreement on how that's going to work. Like you guys have agreed that you're going to wait and you're going to talk about when you're ready. We're still in the midst of there are times where I will face it head on and there are times where I'm like, I need a break right now in this very moment. And I feel like that is my biggest advice, is figuring out, sorry. When you get to that point of getting and feeling really upset and you guys are starting to argue, where is that resolution going to come? Is it going to come in this heated conversation or do you need a break? Because some people can do the heated conversation and get to a resolution. Someone, I thought, take the other day. That was like, it's like the new training on a go that, but I was like, when you get in a fight but then you know you get to make up afterwards and I'm like, and they're like, I'm like, that is it. I feel beaten down. I feel like a horrible wife, I feel terrible. My bad mom, my bad wife, my bad person. That's how I feel. Not because my husband made me feel that way because I feel it and I go into the deep emotions of like, oh, so I did this one thing wrong. So I'm terrible at everything in my life. (laughing) You want to try the thing that you guys say? I'm really, what do you guys say? I'm choosing to believe and like, why are you choosing to blame that? - Don't. (laughing) - He's so practical. - He's so practical. - He's like, worry. - I love him. - It's great. - I need it. - Yeah, it's a good balance. - It's a good balance. - I, a lot of the ways that you're going to handle conflict and the figuring out how you're going to handle that comes from when you're in a really good spot. - Yeah, it does. - So when you guys are having a great day, you need to be like, so are you an internal processor or an external processor? So when, in our last fight, did you want to talk about it in that moment or did you want to wait? Or, you know, just like, you need to have those questions when you're not fighting. - Yeah. - 'Cause that's just, you're not gonna come, you're not gonna figure it out in the moment. - I was mad the other day that I got my hair wet in the shower because I didn't want to. That, okay, let me restart. - I'm sorry, yeah. I'm like, what's she talking about? (laughing) I'm like, wow. (laughing) For a girl who wants to brush it off, she's mad about her hair getting wet. (laughing) - No, wait, no, wait, don't bring that up. (laughing) - It's a good story you're related about bringing something up after you're upset about something. - That's the lesson from it. - Yeah, bring it up after. - Perfect. (laughing) - We can keep that. - We can keep it. - We just say nothing. - You can give it. (laughing) - Okay, all of us agree. - Is that it? - Yeah. - Perfection. - If you would like to leave a voicemail for the next episode, it is 6-0-2-4-5-6-9-6-9-0. - Yes. - Thank you guys for all your calls. - We love the voicemails. - Do you want to let lead us off? Oh, I was hungry and give you a rest. - Yeah, I do. I didn't have it picked out, but I've been dreaming about this already that I've made. - I'm laughing, 'cause you're not really a cooker. - I've been a cooker at the past two months. - Okay, for. - Cooker? - I cook, 'cause I have a thing. - The minute I said it, they're gonna come for me. - I've been, I asked Blake the other day. I was like, how long have I been making meals consistently? And he's like, probably two months. I'm like, yes, this is great. I've been doing, ever since Abby did her, like walkthrough of how she does her stuff, I've been following it. - It's life to get that. - I get groceries. Well, I plan my meals. I get the groceries, I make the meals. I pick the days that I'm gonna make 'em because I'm like, it's a recording day and you see, there'd be a quick one at home or it needs to be a crock pot. Like, I'm figuring it out. I made this recipe. It's called creamy sausage dillini. - Creamy sausage dillini. - Dillini, like dillini. - Oh, I like dillini. - Dillini. It says, has been approved, girl dinner. It's definitely not, it's too much work for a girl dinner. - Yeah, there's meat in it. - There's meat in it. It's not a girl dinner. But it was so good. I was so dreamy. I put it on my Instagram story. I'll reshare it and you can put it in the episode. But this, it was this girl's recipe, but it's just sausage. There's other things in it too. But it's just sausage, Italian sausage dillini. And Parmesan and heavy cream, it's just so good. - That was my question. Is it like a sausage, like a, you know, sausage link? - It's like a sausage. - Oh, yum. - Ground sausage with the little dillini. It was just the perfect meal. It was so, so yummy. - I love it so much. - I took a bite of it and I was like, oh my gosh, this is the best meal I've ever made. It's so simple, like it's so chill, but I was like, oh, it's so yummy. - Is it gonna be that meal you make 15 times while you're pregnant and then never make again? - Probably, I was thinking about making it for my meal train meal on Monday. That's why I think I'm gonna do that. So, make myself some too. - I had so many hyperfixation meals when I was pregnant, that are delicious meals. And then afterwards, I never again. (laughs) I mean, I'll get back to them, but it took me a long time to start eating so I could cream again. - I'm on the, really. - Mm-hmm. - I haven't had tacos in a long time. I'm having a ground beef a version. - Oh, I have. - I feel like I might be getting over it, but burgers are still like a no-go. - Oh, I always chicken. My last pregnancy was chicken and rice. This pregnancy is ground beef. - I still haven't gotten over the chicken. I like barely cooking anymore. - Dang it. - That's my burgers right now or no-go. - Yeah. - My recipe, I actually shared this on Instagram. Yesterday I made a video demonstrating it. It's, I shared that corn, veggie salsa a couple weeks ago. It's very similar to that. That's actually what inspired this. But I've been making this veggie salsa like two to three times a week. And it's so easy for lunch or just a side at dinner. It's a cucumber, a large cucumber. I put two pelp peppers in it. You could do a little bit of red onion and a bunch of cherry tomatoes. That's kind of the base. And then for the dressing, it's olive oil, red wine vinegar, honey, and Dijon mustard, salt and pepper. You could throw a herb in there if you want. But it's so easy. Everything's eyeballed. You really can't mess it up. And it's very customizable. So like the one day I had little tortellinis that I put in there and mozzarella pearls. I put feta in it sometimes. Or I'll do the chicken tenders, those just bear chicken nuggets or tenders and I'll put them in there for lunch. It's just so good. It's filling, it's healthy, it's colorful. It's, I don't know. look at it and I get it just scratches my brain all the colors of that. I know it's so fresh. It takes 10 minutes to chop it up and make it and it's good for a couple days. It's really good. It's been really like, I've been feeling really good. Ever since you made that corn sauce, I was like, oh my gosh. Yes, which that corn sauce has amazing. That has lime in the dressing. It's a little bit more involved. Still very easy, but this is like even superior. A little easier. Good. It's more paired back. And yeah, I've just been making it non-stop. I feel like we should, it should be mean actually. I was like, maybe we should do an always hungry fails segment because I just had a fail recipe yesterday. I had a bad one a couple weeks ago. You know, just when they come up, it'd be funny to at least have to say the fails. What not to make. What not to make. I told you guys all. It was just like a chicken rice and like cream sauce. It was just all mushy and it just wasn't. It can be used or like it definitely could bring me. But it just wasn't. It was too much work to not taste very good. Yeah, that's like the failed reason. It's too much work to not be that good. Right. So I had I made a terrible dinner last week. Oh, what was it? It was a can of can of big beans, um ground beef, ground beef that I cooked up way too dry. It was such a dry blend ground beef past the point of saving. And then I was like, oh, I got some broccoli. I'll boil it instead of steam. Mush. Mushy broccoli, dry beef, baked beans. It was just such a stupid. I looked at it and I was like, I'm terribly sorry. Gotta eat it. Who wants to be? We didn't, but I really wanted to. I even invited my mom over for dinner last night. I'm like, sorry. I was so bad. Sorry. It's horrible. It was horrible. Well, you guys, thank you so much for listening and following along. Please don't come for Addie. Don't come for her. If you guys want to leave us a review or give us five stars and rate the show wherever you listen to your podcast, Spotify, Apple, hype us up on YouTube, subscribe, all the things. Let's get some more subscribers on YouTube, guys. Yeah, we're almost at 50,000. Yeah, we're almost at 50. I had a competition with my husband about his YouTube channel. They're beating us. So we got to get him. We got to stop it up. Yeah, please subscribe on YouTube. Even if you don't listen there, just go and subscribe. Yeah, yeah. Bump our numbers. But Patreon, you've been growing. We appreciate it. The Patreon's so fun. It's so fun. If you're not in there, you gotta get in there. I know I need to get in there. I look for recipes on there all the time. I need to share my recipes. This one looks good. The shepherd's pie. I comment about pie crust. I wanted that. This is going to be great. Yeah, so many good recipes. And if maybe this is a little shout out. If you're on Patreon, can you put a crockpot recipe that you like on there? Because I want some more crockpot recipes. Preferably, ones that don't have a whole block of cream cheese. That's so hard to find. It's crockpot recipes. There's just so much cream cheese and cream cheese. I know. I want ones that don't have all that. I like that sometimes, but they're all like that. Not too much. So maybe if you have options that aren't kind of our way. That's funny. That makes me think of all the screenshot this is on my Instagram. I save recipes and all of them are pasta recipes. Yeah, it's wonderful. Brittany from Minnesota said, "My favorite podcast, five stars. Always here is my favorite podcast. Every time I turn it on, it feels like I'm just hanging out with the girls. Your laughs are contagious and make me laugh too. This podcast genuinely brings the biggest smile to my face. Thank you for all you do to make it possible. We love you guys. Sweet Brittany, thank you so much. Thank you guys so much. Thank you for closing your marks, Eddie. No, thanks for letting me get crashed. Guys, this was fun. This was really fun. Do you want to close this out with our little slogan? And remember, we're always here. Thanks, guys. Shannen Maldonado, the founder of the Artesan Institute of Technology, has been a member of the Institute of Technology. The development of the software for software development and testing has been a great help to the development of the software. The Ministry of Technology has been a great help to the development of the software development and development of the software. All of the software development and development of the software have been a great help to the development of the software development and development of the software. 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