My Pregnancy Story

(swoosh) (upbeat music) - What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with call her Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. Okay, are we ready? Here we go. Woo! Daddy Gang, welcome to a very special episode of call her Daddy. I am pregnant and we're just gonna get right into it today. I, oh my God, I have been so excited to share this news with you guys and I definitely went back and forth on when that would be and how I would even do it. But now that we are here, I cannot wait to share all of the fun and the emotional things that I have been going through during this pregnancy. The last time I spoke about my feelings around having kids was exactly a year ago and for anyone who missed it, I basically came on the podcast and I shared that in the summer of 2024, right after Matt and I had gotten married and, you know, we basically talked about how we were ready to start having kids and that was our goal. And then shortly after that in that summer, I decided actually, wait no, I'm not ready. I'm not ready at all. And so we made the mutual decision to pause on starting a family in the summer of 2024 because I really wanted to prioritize our relationship. I wanted to prioritize work and I wanted, honestly, most importantly, to prioritize myself. And overall, I just felt like I needed a little bit more time and I was not ready to take on motherhood just yet. And so now, almost two years later, I lived, I did kind of what feels like everything I wanted to do. And now I am pregnant and I couldn't be happier, I couldn't be happier that I waited and I couldn't be happier for this next chapter of my life. And so I wanna do a little story time of how this all came to be. I do before I get into it. I want to acknowledge coming in here today, I was like, I'm so aware that the topic of pregnancy and the process of getting pregnant and everything that surrounds it can be very understandably sensitive and difficult for a lot of women. And so I just wanna be really mindful today that as much as this is a very exciting time in a celebration, I also wanna hold space for the women who may be on a different part of their own journey right now. And I'm thinking about you and I'm sending you so much love and I love you, Daddy Gang and I support you. Okay, so let's rewind a little bit. So throughout the period where Matt and I had put the decision to start trying to get pregnant on hold, we were having constant check-ins. And as more and more time went on and we traveled and we accomplished certain goals we had set for ourselves, the girl started to get the itch. And I remember the exact night, I remember telling Matt, we were in the hot tub, we were having one of like, our whiskey nights and I just looked at him and I said, we have had such an incredible time of pouring into our relationship, building a strong foundation, being with our family, now that my family's out in LA, like we spend so much time with them. And literally all I can think about, the only thing that feels like it's truly missing right now is a child and starting our own family together. And I have never felt more ready. And when I said that out loud in that moment, it was such an exciting feeling, but also I don't know how to describe it. It almost felt just like such a calm feeling as well, maybe calm. Yeah, I guess it was calm because I think we both felt so together and so unified in our desire for this really big next step. And it was one of the most beautiful moments because Matt and I had been so intentional about everything we had done in our relationship up into that point. And I think we both felt so sure in the foundation that we had built and there was really zero fear and finally saying out loud, okay, here we go. We are going to try and we are going to do this together. It was really only joy and excitement. And so we started trying. And let me let you in on a little something, ladies. At first, there is nothing sexier. But there is nothing hotter. There is nothing more connecting in this world than trying to make a baby with the love of your life. You're like, oh, let's go. Let's fucking go. Like get in there, like enjoy, okay. It is great. And then, and then once that spontaneous thrill has happened a few times, there's a little shift, okay. And that shift is just a little less sexy, in my opinion. And it's a little bit more of like a scheduled meeting of the bodies, okay, because there's a very small window where a woman is about to release that egg. It's about three days. So in those three days, you gotta be locked in. You are laser focused, okay. We are making sure that we are using every single opportunity to try to make this happen. And so, I was obsessively tracking my ovulation. I'm like peeing on ovulation strips. I got ovulation strips in every single one of my purses. And it basically tells me when I am peak time. And when I am peak time, that is when Matt, Matt, let's go. (laughing) Matt. And he would be like, all right, I'm coming up. Let's go. Sometimes it didn't happen in bed, you know? Sometimes we didn't have that luxury. It was boom, gotta do it, let's go. Also to be real for a second. Whoa, okay. There is so much mentally that starts to happen when you are looking for your body to essentially perform and produce essentially the highest level. Like it's a really weird mental and physical battle that I personally found because when it doesn't work and you don't get pregnant, all I was left to feel was, what's wrong with me? And the longer it goes on, for me personally, my desire to get pregnant was only increasing, which was then making the disappointment hit even harder. And not only that, I would say, but like, then the anxiety that is created, because again, this is a really small window. And so every month you try and then you have to wait and see if it worked. And if that test comes back negative, you feel like you're starting from zero again. And it's almost starts to feel like Groundhog Day, where you're like, you're waiting, you're waiting, you're waiting, you're waiting, you're disappointed. And for me, the importance of having a partner during this time who was supportive and loving and understanding you guys, it was so essential. Because any time I felt down, Matt was there. And he made me feel like, nope, this is us. This isn't on you, this is on me and you. So if this is not working, this is something you and I are going through hand in hand together. And listen, men will never understand what we have to go through with our bodies and these psychological warfare and all of the emotions, but I will say it does make it a hell of a lot easier when that person by your side is not making you feel like for a moment that it is just you. It's all on you. Even though, let's be real kind of is. And again, I know everyone's journey to getting pregnant looks so differently. And so obviously, again, I just want to clarify today, I am only talking about my personal experience. And I do want to acknowledge all of the women who have tried to get pregnant, who are still trying, who are pregnant. And it hasn't gone the way that they expected. Who maybe you are someone who's watching, you took a different path than you originally planned. This is one of the most complicated and personal experiences you will ever go through. And I have so much respect and compassion and admiration for everyone, no matter where they're at on their journey. And to all the women who have also decided that motherhood isn't for them, I see you and I respect you because I genuinely believe as long as you're making choices that feel right for yourself and your life, that is all that matters. Full stop. So, okay. I would love today to share the story of how I found out I was pregnant. It feels like yesterday and also feels like so long ago. Okay. So I'm peeing. on my good old ovulation strips, and on the strips that you're using, there is one side in the box that is blue for ovulation and checking that. And then the other side of the box is filled with pink labeled strips, and that is to test for pregnancy. And so I remember I was two days away from getting my period. And I don't know, I felt like there was like a small chance I could be pregnant because before almost every single time, like I am getting cramps, okay, I'm getting cramps before this period, it is a surefire thing, and I didn't have any cramps. And so for the next two days, I'm like, okay, I think this could be an option. We are going to finally open these pink strips, baby, and let's pee and see if I'm pregnant, and it just kept coming back negative. And I was like, okay, we're keeping the vibes high, we're keeping it, it's fine, maybe I'm just late. Also for me, it always could kind of be for my period of two to three day buffer, either I'm late or I'm early, like that usually happened. And so I kind of went through the feeling of damn, here we go, we're starting from zero again, another month of trying, let's do it. And then two days passed, still no cramps. And like literally never has that happened in my life. And not the lateness, the lack of cramps, like I was the girl you guys who had to stay home from school because of how bad my cramps were, I have always had the worst cramps. And so I will never forget it was a Tuesday morning, Matt had just left for a three day work trip, and something came over me, and I was like, you know what, I'm just going to get one of the digital hard tests, screw these like pink little strips, let's get the hard stuff here. Okay? So I go and I buy two, it's first thing in the morning. I sit down on my toilet in my bathroom, I pee on the stick, and it felt like the minute I peed on that stick, the minute that you're in it, that stick, it said pregnant. And I'm like, what? I was in, I was in complete shock because again, I had been taking these pink little strip tests for almost a week. And it was telling me, so no girl, better luck next time, babe, keep a fucking moving. So when I saw it red, pregnant, I started crying with my pants on the toilet, I'm crying, I remember then getting off the toilet, I sat down in my bathroom, and I'm just staring at the test. I'm just staring at it. Meanwhile, Henry and Bruce are like freaking out, they're licking my face, they're like what is wrong with our mother, is she having an actual mental breakdown? They hate when I'm crying, and then I immediately got right back up. And I was like, I need to take another test, what if it's a false positive? Like I need to see it again to believe it, let's get back in there. And so there it was, second test, positive. And then I was so annoyed, swerve, not because I was pregnant, but because my husband had just boarded his flight. And there was no way in hell that I was going to tell this man over the phone. Like I'm like, I need to tell Matthew in person, like it had to be that way. I wanted us to be able to embrace and kiss and celebrate. And so I sat there going back and forth, because my big mouth you guys, it literally took everything in me not to be like, ma, hmm, babe, get off the plane. He's like, we're sitting on a hot tarmac, I'm like, get off the plane. I'm like, I'm urgency, but I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I gotta just, I calm myself down and thought, you know what, maybe, maybe this is going to be a beautiful solo journey that I have to go on for the next four days or so, okay, just really sitting alone with the news until my husband comes home on Friday night, I can try to really connect with my body. I can read some books, download every single app there possibly is to download. And I will say that it worked, it worked for about four hours. Guys, those next few days were actually torture. I am sitting alone with the fact that I am pregnant and I can't tell my husband because he's away on a work trip and I refuse to do it over the phone. And every single day at night, that man I talked on the phone, I was bursting, I was bursting to the point where he was like, you're acting like a little off, like, is everything okay? I want to scream because we're having a baby, I'm like, but I was like, no, yeah, I just think it's so tired for work, it's just like hard day at work literally turmoil. And I will also say once I commit my mind to something, I am locked in, okay, Matt was going to be the first person I told, no matter what, I wasn't going to tell my friends, I wasn't going to tell my mom, I wasn't going to, you know, tell the random guy at the coffee shop because trust me, it was tempting, it honestly really pained me. But no, it had to be Matt because why? I don't think anyone would ask why, but just to take you through my thought process, like I just had this feeling, like, we did this together and he deserves to be the first person to know. And there is no one I want to tell more in the world than him. And I want us to just be able to hold this moment alone together before anyone else gets involved. And so for the next four days, I lost my mind. Also when I think back to this, I remember another added layer was like, the morning that I found out that I was pregnant, you guys, I had a call her daddy interview that day. And listen, I love my guests shout out if you're watching this, but that day girl, I really, really struggled to focus. I remember walking into my studio, saying hi to my team and I just, I just so badly wanted to learn out, like a pregnant, when I was in the middle of my interview, I would be listening to what they were saying and I would be locked in for a second. And then it literally reminded me of the dog from up to you guys remember every five seconds, the dog's like, squirrel, that was literally me every five seconds. I just wanted to be like, okay, yeah, and so your child, sorry, I'm pregnant. I'm like, it was like my brain. It's all my brain could think about and it's almost like holding it in was making it worse. I just needed to tell one person, just one person. And then I would be fine. So yeah, it was a really tough day at work, guys. And then finally, after downloading like 12 different apps and I'm not kidding, I literally researched my future child star sign, how it would match up with my star sign, how it matched up with me and Matt star signs. I was like going insane, finally, Matt was on the plane to come home, hallelujah, Matt on the plane, hallelujah. Thank you. And then this man has the audacity to be a good husband. While he's on the plane, he texted me and he said, oh my god, babe, I forgot to ask, did you get your period? No, no, no, motherfucker. Now at this point, you guys, I had to kept my mouth shut for four straight days. There is no way I was going to blow this whole surprise over text message. So I ignored my husband, naturally, and I just like pivoted the conversation to something. And then he asked again, I'm like, Matt, the persistence. And I appreciate his attention to detail, but in this moment, I was like, so I ended up just responding to him and I was like, yeah, super heavy period. I like, didn't need to be that dramatic, but I'm a very dramatic person. And that was unnecessary, but I wanted to sell it, right? I did not want my husband to have any clue, any clue. And he's so sweet back. I remember him texting me like, it's all good. You know, we've got this. We're going to have a beautiful weekend together. I love you so much. I can't wait to come home and see you. And that's when I also realized like, holy shit, my husband is genuinely going to be so even more shocked now. Like me adding that little sprinkle, that little dash of like, oh, your girl got her period. Now there is like zero percentage that Matt in his brain is coming home to a pregnancy announcement. So here's what I did. I cooked Matt and I our favorite meal that I make and my favorite meal that I make. I mean, the one thing that I know how to make, which is like taco bowls. I lit candles, I put a little bit of music on. I poured us both a drink, which really I knew would throw him off even more. And when he got home, I told him I had a little gift for him, which technically isn't really like out of the ordinary Matt and I, typically if one of us is traveling, we do a little something for the other when they come home. And so I sat him down and I said, okay, put your hands out, both of them, and close your eyes. And he's like, what is this? Like what is happening? And I was like, I hope you like it because it is non-refundable. And so he put both of his hands out. He closed his eyes and I placed the pregnancy test in his hands. And when he opened his eyes, they immediately filled with tears. He looked so shocked and then we both started crying. We didn't even say anything in that moment. There were just no words. He pulled me onto his lap. We were hugging and kissing and crying and we just had the most. incredible night that I will forever and always cherish. It was like, finally, I was able to share this with my person and celebrate it and talk about it incessantly. Again, also being able to say it out loud. Finally, it made it feel really real. And we just kept crying, like replaying the moment over and over and over. Matt was in so much shock that I was able to wait as long as I did to tell him. And he felt so bad. He was like, how did you keep this to yourself for as long as you did? Like, you could have told me, I feel horrible. And I will say, and I told him this, I said, listen, listen, sweetheart. Although those four days felt like a bit of torture, I am now able to look back and be so grateful for the time that I had to genuinely sit with my thoughts and my feelings. I was able to kind of, I don't know, like slow myself down, which I'm so bad at. And I, I think it really gave me this period of time where it felt like every, the world stopped. And in those four days, I remember having thoughts about how excited I was for this pregnancy because I feel like I am someone who really loves to push myself and challenge myself. And I want to evolve. And I think it's so important to grow and change as a human being. And there was something so transformative with envisioning this new chapter for yes, Matt and I as a family, but also individually myself as a woman. How will this change me? What new perspectives will this give me? I'm not someone who has grown up from a very young age and envisioned having children. I just didn't. And so how will this impact my identity? How will my body changing? How am I going to connect with myself? And growing a human being inside of my body, like, how will that influence the way that I approach life and look at the world? And so all of these questions, I guess, kind of left me really excited for the future. There's also something I really loved about the feeling of the unknown. Now, I know a lot of people, some people like to know the exact answers of what's going to happen. But like, I really loved that feeling. I feel like I have done so much already in my life. And I am so proud of what I have accomplished. And I feel so fortunate. But this to me just feels like the next beautiful blessing in life that is going to change me forever, obviously not holistically, but to some degree, right? And I'm so ready to go on that journey and share it with you guys, honestly. I think this show has been my baby, no pun intended, but call her daddy has been the biggest blessing of my life up to date. You guys are going to now share it, okay? And I would be nothing without all of you who watch every single week. And so now to have shared so much of my life for so long and have this new phase, I'm really excited. And so how did I decide I was ready to publicly share my pregnancy with the world? Girl. Girl, the truth is, my goal was to try to pull a Kylie Jenner. I really wanted to. I just one day wanted to come on and announce like, oh, I had a baby. But the unfortunate reality is that my job does require me to be seen either on my show or out at public events. And a sweatshirt can only do so much for so long guys. And so I had told my goal was to try and hide this pregnancy until August or September. I really just wanted to stay in this bubble and not, I don't know, not open it up for public commentary for honestly as long as I could. But it was May when I announced. So obviously that plan didn't work as expected. And so the reason I chose to share my pregnancy when I did was because my bump was becoming too hard to hide, plain and simple. And the process of trying to hide it was literally causing me more anxiety than just putting it out there and being honest with the world. And I will say, no guys, let me take you on this little journey ready for this one. The biggest turning point of when I knew I needed to tell the world about my pregnancy was the little recent trip Matt and I took to New York City. There was this really, really big important work event that I was so excited about going to. And I was going to have to walk a red carpet. And so I had prior put a lot of thought into my outfit the month before. I was like, I know what I'm going to wear. I tried on a bunch of different options. And then I found this suit. Oh, this suit. That had this little like almost like peplum looking shape to it. And then like kind of had buttons. And when I tried it on, those buttons like sat right above the bump where like the bump really gets big. And then the pants. Oh, God, the pants were incredible. The pants had this like elastic band that was like jewel encrusted that really like hugged and sucked me in. Okay. It was black. There was like a lot of illusion going on. And I remember walking out of my closet showing Matt and L.A. being like, look at this. And he's like, babe, you don't even look pregnant. And I'm like, thank you. Hello, red carpet. Let's go. And so I really felt like, oh, my God, this is like a foolproof way to lock, lock it all in. Okay. Lock it all in and just keep that secret. Because in my calendar, I literally had the amount of public dates that I would need to be on my carpets and stuff like that. And then caller daddy, I was like, we could hide this because go real big in those hoodies. Okay. We could really stretch this thing as long as we want. So the next month, I get to New York City. And my dumbass hadn't tried the alpha dawn since the first time it looked gorgeous, stunning. Oh, so delicious on me. Okay. And your girl, she got a little bigger and that bump, that bump was bumping. And so the day of the event, I had meetings all morning in New York City and then glam came. We rushed. I was ready. They left. I went to put on my outfit. I was alone in my hotel room. Matt was downstairs finishing his last meeting. And I started hyperventilating as one does because I looked in the mirror. Actually, I didn't even need to look in the mirror at first. And I said, you know, this isn't fit. You know, this doesn't fit. This, this isn't fit and right. And this isn't sitting right. None of this was looking the same as it looked the first time that I tried it on. And so I'm adjusting. I'm unzipping like the side of the pants had a zipper. I just went no, no zip. We don't even need the zip. Well, just and they wouldn't fall down. They just stayed right there. And I was so frustrated. I really was. I was so excited for this work event. I, I, I was so excited for the people. I was going to meet. There was so much business to be done that day and that night. And I, I didn't want people to know. I was pregnant yet. I just didn't. I didn't want this work event to turn also into speculation. Like that is not the way I wanted this to go. I done such a good job of only telling our closest friends and family no leaks, nothing. And I didn't want to also go to this work event and be uncomfortable in my body or in this outfit. So Matt comes up to the room. I am in tears. Shout out to my glam squad. You didn't have a chance. I am. I am so I'm a mess. And he's so supportive. He's like trying to help me like rejigger the thing. I got my spanks literally hiked up to my nipples. Okay. We're about to be late. I am sucking in for dear life. I'm trying to make this work as we walk out the door. But the carpet was going to close at a certain time. I had to be there. You guys, I'm in the back of this SUV. I am laying horizontal in the very backseat so that these buttons do not pop off as they continue to do anytime. If I was not standing perfectly straight up and sucking in, these buttons were blowing. These buttons all I knew is I was like, okay, I just have to get through this red carpet moment. That's literally that's it. Because once I knew I if I got inside, I knew I would be completely safe from like random cameras and I could just focus on the business. And so here we go. Matt and I get out of the car and he does the thing where he like gets out of the car, shields me as if I've like a skirt on where you're gonna like see the girls badge. No, just shielding me too, you know, just busto up and really cinch it in and suck in. I wipe my tears. I have so much powder underneath my eyes. I have like a four inch layer under my eye. I'm like, How do I look? That's like, I mean like the gleaming sun, you know, as a girl when you're like too much makeup on You're in the sun and it's hitting you. He's like you've never looked more gorgeous. I'm like shut up And we get out of the car And my button bursts The God forsaken button Just bursts and I am like putting it back in burst putting it back in burst I start trying to suck in so hard you guys. I'm wiping away these tears. My PR woman comes over. You got they're they're ready for you You got it to get on the carpet. Let's go to the carpet. I'm so emotional. I am so hormonal and I was not prepared for the energy of a red carpet. Okay, the energy of a red carpet It is very loud. It's intense. It's intimidating. It's a lot of things. Okay, and the last thing that I wanted was for me to get on this carpet And for those buttons that couldn't stay secure for the life of them She just boom just a big boom boom hit him with the belly Bam hit him with the bed. Hit a little one two boom flying off hits a camera man the eye Literally that was I remember that scene from Hannah Montana when she's with Jake Ryan on the carpet And she's wearing a jacket and she goes boom. She's wearing the swan costume. Look it up. That was it I was like that will boom me me I still oh my god in my head you guys I still like a psycho thought that I was gonna last until August or September I was not ready to announce. Okay, and I am sucking in by the grace of God you guys here we go They pushed me under the carpet. I go solo at first. I shimmy I Shimmy under the carpet. I'm not breathing. I'm not breathing because if I bring with the minute I would breathe You know what I mean hit him with a pop so we got to keep it we got to keep it tight and we got to keep it locked in and that girdle I don't know what brand it is, but I'll shout you out at some point because my god the girdle the girdle came through Honestly, I don't know what happened after that like I blacked out a little bit I remember they were like Matt come on Matt comes on. I said to Matt in the car. I said look at me in the eyes right now You need to match my energy. Okay, we are going we are going business. We are going professional business professional Not business casual business professional. He's like, okay babe. Sure, whatever you say. I'm like we're gonna keep it tight We're gonna keep it. We're gonna keep it serious. We're gonna keep it quick. We're just gonna keep it right here Okay, we're gonna keep it right here. We're gonna get in and we're gonna get out. I also told Matt I was like, you know what if all hell breaks loose which it might And if these buttons have a mind of their own and there's belly on the carpet Imagine being in this car with Matt and I want to if and I'm laying down horizontally if there's belly on the carpet Matt eyes are close I need you to pivot stop drop roll. Oh, we got to get out Just do something weird. Just do something weird. Honestly. I said in that moment, Matt You got to get in front of me. You got to get in front. You got to you got to block the shot You got to back it up take your moment if anything that shove me out of the way shove me get the angles get the one too shot Take me to the ground Take me to the fucking ground Really anything just get me out of there and Matt is like Alex and I'm like, I know I'm being so fucking dramatic, but it felt this way to me. Okay, so she's trying to say come for me Honestly guys, I remember I was on the carpet sunglasses They're like take your sunglasses off. I'm like, Oh, you want to see this powder babe? You better back up sir Frank Give me a little flash I don't know what's worth the girdle or the powder. I am having a mental breakdown on this carpet and then all of a sudden it's over And we exit and I'm looking for my publicist Because you just kind of black out on a carpet. I'm like, what happened? What did it? Was that it was it? Okay? So I'm my button that she's like you're fine. You're fine later that night I'm she texted me. You're all good No praise you and see rumors nothing from the carpet the only rumors that actually came from the carpet It's just how miserable my husband and I looked I said babe That is a win for a win for when these people you guys are dissecting Matt and my body language Together on the carpet saying this this looks like an arranged marriage like this relationship looks like a business deal I was like carry Carry come in and listen real quick. We did have a deal. Oh, this this was this was more than a business deal This was a protect me at all costs husband So to see people over analyzing Matt and I as we are earnestly trying to hide this pregnancy I Was so relieved that they were talking about our dynamic our supposed marital issues and No one was talking About a potential bump. It was a win for the Cooper Kaplan's that day Matt and I went to bed holding hands and we were like we survived another day. Honestly, it is sad though guys To take a pause from all the jokes. It is really sad and just Insane how crazy this industry is you read those things and Matt and I are like No one in our life our closest friends our family is Wondering those things, but then it is crazy to see the internet be like oh my god like they're on the rocks And we're like wait wait we are like what's happening? And so I think that is an odd part of the job That I don't enjoy, but like Matt and I are good. No one No one needs to worry Matt and I are great and I will say After that event which was such a success. Thank God We unveiled multiple new exclusive shows with unwell and YouTube coming out with our partnership with them Which has been amazing in our partnership with Google very exciting But I remember getting home that night and Matt and I We kind of looked at each other And We just both felt it and it was almost like we both knew We knew that that was the last event I would probably be able to go to and to hide this pregnancy it Obviously had gotten too crazy. I'm sucking in for dear life and to literally any woman who has been pregnant before you know that That's not even a thing you literally like you there's no such thing as sucking in but I was trying girls. Okay. I was trying And so Matt, I remember him sitting me down and he was like Alex I love you so much and I know that we had this plan and you had this vision in your head But maybe it is time to announce so that you can just start living your life again Like this is not making you happy. It's causing you so much stress and I started crying Guys, I've never cried more in my life But he was so right like the minute that Matt said that I just felt so much better like of course It's so romantic and it's lovely to keep it a secret But I was starting to lose it. I have so many work things coming up this summer that are obligations And if I ordered one more dress that was gonna make me look like a Lufa you guys you got the dress Oh the layers because you once it gets to a certain point you can't just do like a big T because then it will still show so you got to go Multifabriced on this thing. Okay, I was coming in box ready and I'm ordering things for the South of France I've to go in a couple weeks for this event and I'm like I look insane and every single outfit was gonna be a Lufa like Oh really like you're not pulling anyone bitch It just wasn't gonna be enjoyable and it wasn't gonna work and so I said you know what you're so right What do we do? Should I just upload one of my Mirror selfie nudes, honestly fire and he was like well, you could do that But why don't we also just take a photo in upstate New York this weekend And I was like, okay, great idea Matt and I were gonna be in New York City for two straight weeks for work And so Matt had planned for us to go out of the city for the week and you know So the bump could get a little fresh air get a little privacy and he was like Where we're staying is so gorgeous. Let's just take a picture there Literally upload it that weekend, okay? So we got out to upstate New York And I remember we took the photo on Saturday so that would have been May 16th Saturday, May 16th and then the next morning I woke up I was in bed and I posted it on Sunday May 17th and I was very upset that my dogs couldn't be in the photo. It really guys It just the aesthetic would have been so much better if Henry and Bruce were just a little I literally considered asking my mother to fly the dogs across the country So that they could participate in the family portrait. I don't want the judgment I just want the I just want you to know how much I love my dogs, okay? Obviously we didn't end up deciding that because it was excessive But I needed to work through it and Matt held my hand and said that's insane But I did think about photoshopping them in yeah, that kind of fucked that upset me But anyways the photo was cute. I think we didn't really put much thought into it and we threw it up on Sunday morning and I will say Guys when I press post I felt so much relief. I felt so Free it made me so Excited to just lean in and be able to connect with other women over this to be able to start to finally wear cute outfits and like own the bump and take pictures, not be stressed being out in public, and so I am really, really happy that I made that kind of sporadic decision, and I didn't wait until August because now I get to share all the fun and the not-so-pretty details of my pregnancy journey with you guys. So, here we go. More, more story times. Let's talk about that first trimester. Who wants to talk about their first trimester? No one? Okay, me. You know, you can read about things, you can watch videos, but nothing prepares you for anything in life other than just living through it yourself, right? So, the first few weeks of my pregnancy, I could have eaten an entire family. I was, oh, I was so hungry, you guys, I was ravenous. I felt like a vacuum. I couldn't stop myself. I would eat everything and anything in my line of sight. I remember, oh my god, this is a sad one. And that dinner with Matt were on like some work trip. We go to this restaurant where everyone was recommending, like, you gotta get this one steak, it's like wagyu, whatever, da-da-da-da-da. And I'm ready. I'm like, okay, let's get the steak, bear down, ready to go. The waiter ends up bringing me my plate. I ate every single piece of bread at the table, did my appetizer, my steak comes. And he puts it down in front of me. He walks away. And I start crying. I look at Matt, I'm like, why is this steak so small? This poor man, my husband is like, it's fine, babe, you can have mine too. He like gives me my steak. He's like, just have both the hormones and the hunger mix. I felt like an animal. I was crying, in public, over my steak being too small. And at hindsight, it really wasn't that small. As annoying as it was, girl, okay, crying over being hungry, I would have paid. Let me say this, very loud and clear, I would have paid to live in that state. So I did not need to enter the phase of drumroll, please. Morning sickness. You know, it's so fun because this is my first baby, so I've heard about it. Oh, morning sickness. You rub the woman's back. You're like, oh, babe, I'm so sorry. No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh my god. I have seen some women now because my whole algorithm is this, talk about this. And I want to double down for you. Okay. I want to be very clear. And I want to say it myself on my platform. We got to knock it off. We got to knock it off, calling this monster. Morning sickness because you know what? Morning sickness. It almost sounds like, oh, a little bump in the road to start your day. Just have a little morning sickness on the side. This is a manhole in the middle of the street that you can fall into and you cannot crawl out of for the entirety of the fucking day. I, morning sickness, my, ah, guys, morning. Also, I didn't even really come in the morning. I'm like, oh, babe, hit me at noon and take me to midnight. Okay. I mean, with a little 12-hour combo. Boom. Like, are you fucking kidding me? Morning sickness sounds like you're having your morning coffee with a side of morning sickness. I will fuck it up. Oh my god. No one explained this to me. And it's crazy because now that I'm out of it, you do have revisionist history because now I'm talking to my mom. I was like, oh, did you? I can't remember if I did. Uh-huh. I'm sure that's how birth feels, too. You're like, we all, we forget. We forget so we can survive. I was so miserable. You guys, I was going to my office every day, taking meetings and wanting to absolutely protect our vomit on everyone. People were talking to me about analytics and I could barely keep myself upright. Everyone, I love you, but my god. In between every single meeting, oh my god, I think my assistants were like, I don't know if she's having mental breakdown. Something's happening in between every single meeting. I would go into my office. I would curl up on the floor and rock myself back and forth until I had the next meeting. And then they would like knock on my door. Honestly, they now obviously know I'm pregnant, but in the beginning, I think they were like, oh, she's losing it. Oh, she's losing it. Um, because reminder, no one knew I was pregnant. And so, I was trying to be, you know, happy, go lucky Alex who skips down the hallway and is cheery, but deep down, I was hanging on by a thread. Babe, oh, oh. And so what no one told me, and maybe they did and I just like didn't listen until it was like applicable to me. I didn't realize this to all the women who are maybe one day going to get pregnant or pregnant right now or going to look back on this with nostalgia. Here we go. I didn't realize until a couple weeks of living in this hell that in order to try and fight the overwhelming and extreme nausea, you have to eat. Which to any rational brain would make no sense, right? Because the last thing you want to do when you're nauseous is chow down and eat. Like, but there apparently there's a scientist, okay? The more that you eat, the less nauseous you become throughout the day. I could barely stomach anything. I will say again, and I would love to hear other people's experiences, but for me, weeks seven to ten were like peak hardest for me when it came to nausea and exhaustion and just overall not feeling great at all. Um, but I do want to talk about anxiety when it comes to pregnancy because I have had a lot of women write in and ask me what my experience has been with anxiety throughout my pregnancy thus far. And here's what I will say. I am not by nature an anxious person. I have not struggled with anxiety throughout my life. But that definitely changed since pregnancy for me where it was showing up the most was I would say in that first trimester and a little bit into the beginning of the second like the time in between doctors appointments when you go to see your baby on the ultrasound and it is like this incredible euphoric feeling, right? You know, hearing the heartbeat is all very fun. Then I would leave and it almost felt slowly like a come down where you start to get in your head like we is is the baby still okay? Like what's going on in there? Am I going to show up to my next scan and not hear a heartbeat? Because you just have no way to know in those beginning days, right? And so that feeling was hard to sit with because I also didn't want to speak it into existence. And I know that sounds so crazy to just say out loud but like these are the thoughts that go through your head as a woman and it's anxiety inducing. It's just like a feeling. There's so much at stake and you're just going through so much mentally and emotionally and physically and you just want to know that everything is okay and the baby is safe and you're putting your body through all of this and you're still okay and it's still okay, right? What I will say though is the anxiety was alleviated when I started to feel the baby kick. Guys, it is the craziest feeling. Oh my god, I will never forget like my favorite thing to do is just lay down and put my hands on my stomach and just wait to feel the baby. Like, oh, I think heads down by the bladder like we're good. It's also fun. I remember the first time that knot was able to feel the baby by putting his hands on the belly because for a while only the mother can really feel it internally. But now I'm at the stage where it can be a shared experience and it's very fun. Okay, here is a topic that I do really want to talk about though today. Something that a lot of people have asked me right when I announced my pregnancy was how did you know you were ready? How did you know Alex? Was there something specific that happened? Did something change? And so I do want to talk about that a little bit. How did I know I was ready for a baby? So like I said at the beginning of this episode for me personally, I am so happy that I listened to my intuition and gifted myself time and was able to be honest with my partner that I wasn't ready to start a family in that moment that we thought we wanted to start a family because now having almost a year and a half since pausing, it really granted me so much more than I probably could have ever asked for. And again, I recognize that is not going to be everyone's situation. So please remember I'm literally only speaking from my own personal experience. But when Matt and I got married, we had our wedding. There was so much momentum and excitement from that moment. And into the honeymoon, I remember genuinely talking about it on that honeymoon where we were like we're going to be ready to try you know this summer 2024. And when I changed my mind that summer, it was not because something tangible had happened. There was no big event. I could just feel in my body that I wanted more time. And I needed that time. And that couldn't have been more supportive. And so we did that. I had a vision of what I wanted that year to look like. And I talked about it in that solo episode. I did, it's called, I'm not ready for a baby. I focused on work. I poured into my relationship romantically. I poured into my friendships. And most importantly, like I said, I poured into myself. And also, a year later, I remember telling the world I waited because I wanted women to hear from me on that topic and hear that it is okay to not be ready or to not know if you even want a baby. Or it's okay to change your mind. And it's okay to express whatever it is you're feeling with your partner. All of this I knew was going to allow me to grow and ultimately allow me to get closer to living a more authentic life, no matter what the decision I ended up making was. And I hope that for the Daddy Gang, you can see that too, as scary as those type of moments are, where you're like, wait, I know I said this, but I want to do this now. It just allows you to prioritize yourself more the more that you advocate for yourself, the more that you listen to your gut. And I'm not saying sometimes you're not going to go wrong, but I think as women, we can get so wrapped up in what society tells us, obviously, and the timelines that look the best, and it's just a crock of shit. What do you want? What feels right to you? That is all that matters. And so I did see some people confuse saying, well, I thought that she just said she wasn't ready for a baby this past year. Why then is she having a baby? Was it an accident? No. If you listen to that full episode, if you go back, you hear me say, I made the decision to pause having a child back in 2024. It is now 2026, which is honestly probably longer than I thought I was going to wait. So how did I know I was ready after all that time? First, I will say, it's honestly kind of similar to how I made the decision to pause on having kids. When I knew I was ready, there was no big, tangible thing that happened. There was no big, obvious change in my life. I could just feel it. I was ready. And I don't think you'll ever fully be ready for a child, and I think that's also part of the beauty of it, right? But aside from my gut and my body telling me, you're ready and me just feeling it, I also will say, for me personally, having the independence to explore the world, build a career, understand myself before having kids, I believe will make me a more stable, mature, and emotionally ready parent. And I absolutely encourage all women to focus on themselves for as long as they need to discover what they want in life and in a partner. I have always said that here on Call Her Daddy. Never settle, Daddy Gang. Never settle for less than you deserve. Having a strong foundation, I have to believe makes bringing a child into this world a little easier. And it makes me so happy that I have met so many of you in person and you have all, whether it's in person or you've messaged me online, that when you choose yourself and when you prioritize yourself, you all tell me, you're like, you can feel it, right? There's such a difference in the quality of what you demand and what you expect and what you find within yourself and in a partnership. And so I will say yes, I felt ready mentally, physically, and emotionally, but I would be lying if I didn't say a huge reason that I also knew I was ready was because of the partner I chose in life, my husband. I have never felt more sure and confident in our partnership and us as individuals as we take on this next chapter together. Again, I think it's important to emphasize. I am speaking from my experience. So it's, I want to add like some women are never going to be ready to settle down and get married and have a baby. And that is their choice and what a beautiful choice because it's their choice. Some women will be better off as a solo parent, beautiful choice. Some women will live a beautiful child-free life and then find a great partner when they're 57. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to how to be a good woman. Every single person has to live the way they want to and to compare all the people around you guys. It's just to rob yourself of true happiness and freedom. And so today, as I'm sharing my story and timeline, if yours looks different, that is okay guys. This isn't like a guide book on how to live. Follow this step by step. It is just what is right for me and I'm sharing with you. I also think something that has become just really clear during this time is, I would not be in the most wonderful, happy period of my life right now, had I not lived the life I chose in my 20s. I wouldn't change a thing about the choices I made in my 20s, who I slept with, who I dated. I wouldn't be who I am today, had I not had fun and explored and gotten my heart broken and gotten fucked over and fucked and made some mistakes and dealt with the consequences. Like, that's what I personally needed in order to be ready for this next phase of my life, but choosing motherhood in my 30s doesn't erase the right to have enjoyed my 20s. It just doesn't. And I want every woman watching today to know, you have the right to make the choices that are best for you to live your best life. You can have both freedom and family commitment if and when it serves you. I promise you, you can have both. And as I am definitely going to teach my kid, your body belongs to you and no one gets to make your choices for you, period end of statement. I do not believe we should let society and it's absurdly extreme judgment on us as women dictate how we operate, how we move and the choices we make. So I really hope me sharing a little bit of my timeline and how I knew I was ready. And also, again, if there is anyone who's at the place I was at where it's like you actually realizing you're not ready, that's beautiful too. Again, 'cause what do you want? Stop reading what other people are doing, stop seeing your mother-in-law who's like, well, it's years old, so you have to do it, what do you want? That is the only way you're genuinely going to be happy in life is if you go based off of what is internally telling you what will make you the happiest. And so it's not for you to copy and paste when you even watch me on here right now telling you this story, right? But I hope that my story can be more of just like the sentiment and the feeling of giving ourselves as women the grace to live life on her own terms and to grow and evolve as we do it, who I was in my 20s, oh my God, I love her. I will always be obsessed with Alex in her 20s. I had some of the best experiences I learned so much, I learned about my body, like there's so much repression. Guys, if you are a woman, the way that we feel about our bodies, again, everyone's different and you're upbringing independent, but I was someone who did grow up very, very religious and it was like shame and you're gonna die if you have sex before me, all of it for me. And so I really needed to learn about my body. No one told me that after he, when he's coming, you're supposed to have also came and enjoyed yourself, like no, I didn't understand that. So I had to have partners who disregarded my wants and my needs and then finally found one who actually cared about it. She'd be like, whoa, that's an option as a woman to actually feel safe in your body, to feel safe in a relationship, to feel seen, to feel heard, to feel respected. It's an option to push pause on your personal life because you are such a motivated individual, you are bright, you are intelligent, you're charismatic and you're climbing the ladder at work. Oh my God, what a concept, you wanna wait to have kids. There's no shame in doing that. Or you're young and you've known from a very young age, you wanna have those kids who you're gonna do it young, what a beautiful decision. Like, we're so fucking judgmental of women and I've seen the rhetoric online around it of like, oh my God, Alex Cooper, this and that and who she was back then and she's selling the load of garbage from, oh my God, I would never, ever, ever be sitting where I'm at and I don't mean this chair and this career, I mean, I wouldn't be where I'm at with the person I chose as my partner and the person who is sitting here carrying a child had I not lived the way I did in my 20s. I got fucked over. I put myself first. I was hurt all the things that you have to go through in my opinion to now be the strongest version of myself who is so capable of bringing life into this world now and is so capable to take on parenting because I know, trust me, I've heard from everyone. My God, is it a journey? A journey is actually like a nice word to use. My God, is it more than a full-time job? So ladies, I will leave you with this. Obviously, there's still so much to discuss and get into when it comes to pregnancy. For me personally, like, how am I going to handle work? You know, body dysmorphia, mental health, boundaries, posting a child on social media. It's endless. It's a lot. And I am so excited to talk with you about it and keep you updated on my pregnancy journey. I also promise my OGs. I think what's been lovely about this process of podcasting since I was in my early early 20s. Like, this is not going to become just now a mom podcast, right? This is another layer to me that I'm going to be exploring in my life and I'm so excited to connect with women who have also gone through it or have people on who have struggled or whatever it be. But again, guys, women are multifaceted and we can do multiple things, right? So this doesn't now need to just be call her mommy, okay? There's a part of it, that is, but I can also talk to you about the business decisions I'm making and how I am as a woman navigating business independent of having a child. But now, yes, adding on another level of complexity because I do say complexity because we have a lot of shit as women to think about that men will never, ever, ever have to think about. And so when people make you feel crazy for pausing and questioning, okay, am I ready? Is this the right time or am I feeling depleted or am I feeling unseen? No, no, not only are you not crazy, you are so valid. And what you are feeling because of how much more we have to fucking deal with. So whoa, guys, that was like a long journey. And I hope everyone feels like they got some answers because I know I just kind of like popped out and was like, we're pregnant, guys, daddy gang, we're having a baby. But thank you guys so much for the support last I will say it has been such a crazy year. And I feel so blessed where I'm at with the daddy gang and my personal life and my business life. And there's just like a lot of guys, it's what is it? Isn't it like the year of the fire horse or something? I take it back. It doesn't matter. Okay. It's going to be a good year. And I'm very excited. And oh my god, this belly, I can't wait to literally get out of this chair and go heat the upper part of my back because the back pain has started and let me just tell you something. I still would pick this over the nausea, but like, oh my god, there's a lot. Women are incredible. The fact that we have to go to work and be pregnant. And like, it's just a whole fucking thing. We should run the country with a concept. Um, okay, daddy gang, I love you guys so much. I will be back right in more questions that I didn't answer. And you guys know the drill. I will see you, fuckers. Next one, stay good bye.