My Parents Are Bleeding Me Dry: How to Stretch a $200k Salary

"Some evil thing happened here, I mean, happened here." Three people die in a quiet suburb in Mississauga, Canada. It's not a coincidence. One after the other, in the same house. Is this bad luck or something more sinister? The worst investigative mess I've ever encountered. Long simmering, what took you so fucking long to get here. From Sony Music Entertainment, this is what happened to the Harrison's. I'm Amy Dempsey-Raven. What happened to the Harrison's is available now on the binge. Search for it wherever you get your podcasts to start listening today. Subscribers to the binge can listen to all episodes, all at once, add free. Hello, it's Elizabeth Day from How To Fail Here. My next guest is the pioneering British fashion designer, renowned for his signature classic with a twist aesthetic. Sir Paul Smith. They say, "Oh, Paul's job, yes. Head of happiness." That's my job. I do clothes as well. Listen to How To Fail, wherever you get your podcasts. This is Financial Tea. What's up, zippers? Welcome back to Financial Tea. The podcast where I teach you how to build wealth with a side of market drama, money scandals, and of course financial pop culture. I just want to drop a quick stat on you before we get into anything else. 70% of generational wealth is depleted in one generation. 90% of it is depleted into all that work, all that sacrifice gone because nobody knew what to do with it or how to protect it. So today's episode is about making sure that doesn't happen to you or your family. I'm going to respond to all of your dear sugar mama questions about building and keeping generational wealth in today's episode. I know a lot of you are new parents. I get questions from you all the time. So we are going to cover everything, what accounts to open, what documents you need, what nobody tells you. And of course, what Beyonce is doing with her kids money that you absolutely need to be copying. Are you ready to build generational wealth with me? Let's get into it. But first, let's get into the MDJ market report. What's up, zippers? Welcome back to the MDJ market report. Here are the three money stories you need to know to stay rich this week. Okay, so story number one has been everywhere. SpaceX is going public you guys. It's happening the same day as Olivia Rodriguez new album comes out. I'm so excited June 12th, big day for us. And they are expected to debut at 1.75 trillion dollars, which makes it the largest IPO in history and also makes me feel like doctor evil while I say it. And I know that everyone is talking about how to get in. But you guys, I am here to tell you why I am staying the hell out. One thing about me, you're never going to catch me investing in IPO. Like I think it's bullshit. By the time IPO's happen, like all of the founders and employees and VCs and early investors have already made most of the money as well. I feel and like I just don't think there's that much opportunity. I think it's a high play. And by the way, data proves it because two thirds of IPOs underperformed the S&P 500 in their first year. So like, I got it. You might be a great company, but that doesn't mean that you're a great investment. Like SpaceX might be one of the most important companies in the world and starting this new conversation and all this stuff. But that doesn't mean that the stock is worth the price that people are willing to pay for it. But that being said, power to SpaceX, like if people are willing to pay for your over price IPO, go for it. SpaceX will collect that bag, baby. But I just feel like whenever everyone wants in on something, it's usually when it's the most expensive. It has the least value. Like the new Chanel, really bad value, but really expensive. So my rule is we're going to let the hype settle. Like I would rather miss that first 20% that lose the next 50%. And even if something is an incredible company, you have to actually look at the numbers and question it and understand if the valuation makes sense, which here for me doesn't really. Okay. Story number two is about to leap us. You is so fab you guys she's getting married to her sexy hot tall, cool British husband, Callum Turner. She looked amazing. She was in shop rally. She's giving Bianca Jagger, fucking love her. But what's crazier to me is that she's worth 120 million. And her man is worth 5 million. I'm all about like dating outside of your tax bracket. I think this is amazing. But I also love this as like a moment to talk about prenups because I just love that like all of these really rich women are marrying men who are less rich than them and like they have to protect their bag like Taylor Swift is going to have to do it too. And women are now the primary breadwinners and 40% of heterosexual marriages, which is a figure that has quadrupled since the 60s and in major metropolitan areas like New York and DC and L.A. On marrying women under 30 actually out earn their male peers by 100 to 120%. So I obviously obsessed with these stats. I love to be a woman, a woman who makes money and I've never like tried to date a rich guy just because I've had my own money. So I've never had to. But I do love a rich guy. You know what I mean? The goal to go ask her own goal. That's what we always say. But I will just also say that marriage is one of the biggest financial contracts that you'll ever sign. And so the lesson from Duleepa and from Taylor and all these rich women who are getting married to men who are less rich is like married for love doesn't have to be about money but then protect yourself if you are the wealth creator in that relationship and even if not because who you marry is not who you divorce. And this is basically just having health insurance for your relationship and we need to normalize it. Okay, story number three we're going to talk about the business of brand trips Kylie just went on an amazing trip with all of her besties to Turks and Kiko's one day love about Kylie is like she really understands how to tax hack her business. Like her kid stormies obviously on the trip with her love you stormy she's so cute she's such a star and like okay whatever a caucus celebs kid and like their branded content and like okay custodial right that kids on the payroll. But also Kylie doesn't invite like random influencers on her brand trips. She just invites her like seven best friends, which I also love because it's like literally just a vacation that she can like write off, which is chic. But you know we're also seeing like obviously the tarp brand trip or acquired styles bachelor at which was sponsored and I just want to talk about like I feel like whenever these things hit the feed people are like that's crazy. I can't believe that the brand spent that much money to do this for acquired style was like oh my god they brought the plane for them they got them the villain St. Bart's how could that company afford it. The thing is is like the numbers actually really do make sense just because influence or marketing is so successful like for every dollar invested on tiktok into marketing. I think that people spend like over five dollars in like buying the shit that people tell them to buy. So you know and it's only getting bigger the influencer marketing industry is worth like 40 billion now and it just keeps growing and so you know if you want to get attention that's how you do it. I mean what's the alternative you're going to get a super bowl ad for eight for 30 seconds that cost eight million dollars that people see once. If you do a big hyped up brand trip cost you what half a mill a million dollars you're all over the algorithm people are saying good things bad things whatever you're in the conversation. You know as long as we were talking about you that's good and what's also crazy is that like if you get these top tier creators to come it might be a hundred K to get them to post once. But if you bring them to Bora Bora you're bringing them to Turks and Kiko's you're doing the whole thing you're giving them all these gifts all the shit they're going to post like 20 to 30 times for you. So like you know you might not even have to pay them to come in the brand trip because they want to and you're going to be getting like a million dollars worth of content from them. So I just think that it's really cool and it reminds me of the story that we covered last week about the youtuber who made the movie for ten million dollars and then it made 80 million dollars in the box office which like beat beat out Marvel and all these other really big franchises. And you know the creator economy is just winning so intensely and it really is just all about like reaching people directly and utilizing their audiences. But I also think it's important to like understand the economics behind these things because we see these brand trips were jealous. I feel like these influencers are just so lucky to get to be there and they are but we also want you to understand that like the numbers actually really do make sense for the brands and it is just like a smart way to utilize your marketing budget. Okay now that you know way more about money than the group chat let's get into the episode it's all about building generational wealth which is of course my brand and butter as a single childless woman. But I do have nephew and I do have a niece not to brag so and I have all your kids so I'm going to make rich too so yeah enjoy that episode stay rich. Some evil thing happened here. Three people die in a quiet suburb in Mississauga Canada. One after the other in the same house. Long simmering, what took you so fucking long. to get here. When you put your body in the hands of a surgeon, you assume your doctor will do you no harm. I'm looking at the surgery board for tomorrow. These people are ****. Crooked doctors have launched their most ambitious fraud yet worth over $1 billion. One doctor says my kickback was $25,000 and the other doctors go and we only got $12,000. From Sony Music Entertainment and Western Sound, this is Dr. Billions. Coming October 1st to the binge, listen wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, and I don't have a guest today, but I am going to ask myself these questions because it's like, how come I don't get to answer them? So what is my financial ache? Well, thank you, Hilly, for asking. My financial ache is definitely bad tippers and being underpaid. And when things are abhorrently expensive, like I pretty much stopped ordering delivery because with all the fees and shit, I'm like, I'm not spending $60 for some Pasta Pomodoro like bitch that ain't me. So that's definitely a financial ache. Inflation. Do I feel rich this week? You know, I think it's sort of hard to feel rich when you're on a book tour because like you are having so you're incurring so many costs like between stylists and glam and publicists and like it's all an investment in my future self and like future rich person and brand and like will lead to more earnings overall. But I don't not feel rich, but I feel sort of like someone who just took a big vacation where it's like you know that you can afford the vacation, but you also like miss the money from before the vacation, even though the vacation is great. So that's how I would sort of relate to feeling financially being on a book tour. And then best and worst purchase of the week. My worst purchase and this just proves like I am not a little treat girly and I've said it once and I've said it again, but I feel like I keep just testing this. I was cleaning out my closet on Sunday with Christine who's my stylist and she I was like, oh, do you want anything? And I got us machas and neither of us drink the machas and they were like $25 fucking dollars. And so I just never finish the coffees that I buy. Like it's just like that's not where I like to spend my money. And yet it's like once a week I will fall victim to it. So that was really loseery of me. That was definitely the worst purchase. And then I think best purchase was probably like having Christine help me clean out my closet. Cause I like investing in like systems and structure and especially right now in such a busy time of my life. Like having the peace of mind of knowing that like everything is organized and being resold and like just like fresh first spring makes me feel really good. So I don't know. I always like investing in things like that. Like an organizer I always think is like worth the money. If you maintain the systems, which is hard. Okay. Now let's get into your questions. Dear sugar mama, my husband and I are expecting our first baby this summer. We make 700 K joint income, but neither of us have any family funds to fall back on. What accounts do we need to open? Which do we prioritize? What is the order of operations? Okay. First of all, congrats. Summer babies are the best hours born in July facts. Second of all, the fact that you are researching this before the bambino arrives and not like three years later in a full panic is genuinely impressive. I feel like most people wait until their kids are about to go to college. And then they have like some sort of quiet breakdown in a bed bath and beyond parking lot. So kudos to you. You are already ahead. And now let me walk you through the exact order of operations chef's kiss. The first thing I want you to do is open a Trump account. Yes, really, I know the name yikes, but stay with me because free money is free money. Regardless of who signed the paperwork. And this is a brand new type of custodial account for kids launch via the one big beautiful bill act. So if your baby is born, sorry, your bambino is born between 2025 and 2028. The gov will seed the account with a thousand dollars for free just for existing. So like your baby has not done a single thing yet. Hasn't slept through the night hasn't said thank you hasn't contributed to society. But the government is going to hand them a thousand dollars, honestly, is more than fair. But remember, it's not automatic. You have to open it at Trump accounts.gov once your child has a social security number or you're going to get nothing. So put it on the list right after the birth certificate right before you argue with your mother-in-law about the nursery decor open a Trump account. Okay, step to the 529 plan. This is your second step. This is your tax-free education account. Contributions inside will grow tax-free and withdrawals for qualified education expenses are tax-free too. So it's basically the government's way of saying like we know college is importantly expensive and we're mildly sorry about it. But here's what most people do not know. If your child does not go to college, you have options. You can transfer the 529 to another family member. You can roll over up to $35,000 to a Roth IRA. A few important details though. The 529 has to have been open for at least 15 years and the rollover is subject to annual Roth IRA contribution limits. But the point is you are not trapped if your kid decides to like become a sound cloud rapper instead of going to Harvard. Open the account early and let it grow. Okay, step 3 is the custodial brokerage account. So UTMA or UGMA and this is for general investing. So like money that's not earmarked for education or retirement and it gives you flexibility to invest on their behalf and let's them learn about the market early, which is adorable and also financially strategic. Two things can be true. One critical warning though that nobody tells parents is that at age 18 or 21 depending on your state, your child will get full legal control of this account without restrictions. So like you could spend years lovingly building this portfolio and then they could like legally drain it to fund their like Coachella lifestyle the day they turn 18. This is not a reason not to open one, but it's just a reason to like raise a financially literate child who knows what they have. I have a whole chapter about this in future rich person called rich kids raising a rich kid not in the spoiled way, but the financially empowered way is something I'm very passionate about. And then this is not about investing for kids, but like you said that you're having the bambino in the summer. You just want to tell you about the two documents that you really need to set up before that or like after right after one is a will, which is not just for elderly people coming to terms with like their mortality over a bowl of oatmeal. It is for anyone with anything to their name and the wish that if they were to die, they would not leave the people they love caught in a bureaucratic nightmare. You need to designate a guardian for your baby in your will without it a court decides who raises your child and so could be so lemony snicket vibes, you know what I mean a stranger in a robe that is not a decision you want outsource. And then the second thing is beneficiary designations listen to me very carefully on this one your 401k and your IRA passed you whoever is named your beneficiary regardless of what your will says your will does not override it nothing overrides it exposes. Have received retirement accounts worth hundreds of thousands of dollars because someone forgot to update the form after divorce i'm not making that up i've heard the stories so log into every retirement account you have right now and make sure your beneficiaries are current it takes five minutes and it's one of the most important things you will ever do for your family so please. Go do it after this episode or listen to this episode while you do it i'll go there with you let's just like do it together you can do this good luck next question dear sugar mama. I might be about to ask you the most LA question ever if so forgive me my daughter each nine is around a lot of children of performers and a parent from her school is looking to cast some kids in a music video okay obviously she's so excited and I want to support her. It's all very wholesome and above board but it's a long time MJJ follower I know you've talked about accounts that can be used if your child gets a job or makes income but this is totally new territory for me and I honestly never paid attention before because it didn't seem relevant I was wrong please help me first of all that is not the most LA question ever the most LA question ever would be asking me which crystals to put in your babies five twenty nine plan. This is I just think like good parenting with a side of opportunity recognition so I love it I support it and here is the thing about kids earning income that most parents completely miss it is not just cute it is a financial unlock the moment your child has earned income they're eligible for one of the most powerful retirement accounts in existence and most parents let that window closed without ever opening the account. So before your daughter films a single frame of that music video I need you to look to be on say yes queen B for inspiration because she is playing chess while the rest of us are playing mother for you. checking checkers. Do you remember when everyone was obsessed with those videos of Beyoncé dancing with Blue Ivy on tour? Like, it was cute, but also like she was improving every week. She took our feedback that she needed to get it together. But the whole thing was also Savia's help, because Beyoncé hired her children for her tour and in doing so, secured them a generational wealth bag in retirement. When your child has earned income, so they can, you know, melons, scoop ice cream, dance with Beyoncé on tour, it makes them eligible for custodial Roth IRA, which is the same as a regular Roth IRA. So same contribution limit, $7,500 for 20, 26. You open it for them, like basically at any brokerage, and you have to sell up for them, but the money inside will grow tax-free. So Beyoncé basically did this for Blue Ivy, where she Blue has been working since she was born, and has put that money every year into the custodial Roth IRA, that income that her daughter is earning. You could do the same with the income from your daughter's like music video career, and then you always do is invested in a low cost index fund that tracks the S&P 500. Historically, these return around 9 to 10%. Now, I just want you to imagine this. If Beyoncé and Jay-Z's kids invest $7,500 a year in their custodial Roths from birth to age 18, and then they never add another penny after that, and just let the money inside compound and grow. By 59.5, they will have over $12 million tax-free, and they will have only put in 135K total. So that is just compound interest, working aggressively for decades, while everyone else is just like fingers crossed, hoping for the best. So look, your daughter does not need to be Blue Ivy. She just needs earned income and a parent who knows what to do with it, which, thanks to this question, you now do. So basically, she's getting paid, open the custodial Roth at any of these brokerages, make sure that you actually invest the money inside in those low cost index funds, leave it, let it compound, and your daughter is going to be so rich later in life. And you don't need $7,500 per year to do this. You could do this with $300 a year. The point is just like put money into this account if their child has any earned income because you're still going to get amazing advantages. Okay, next question to your sugar mama. This is a less glamorous generational transfer of wealth that you're probably talking about, but I need the MDJ reframe financially speaking. I've done significantly better than my parents. We were working class when I was growing up, live paycheck to paycheck, and that's solidified my need to make money from very early on. Flash forward, and I am a successful 37 year old in a fairly high earning field. I'm married, but we don't want children. The problem is not wanting children doesn't mean we don't have dependence. My parents are now at retiring age and have saved nothing. I feel a lot of sadness and compassion for their situation, but it also feels really unfair that their financial burden is now on me. Since I started earning a salary, I always tried to help out where I could, but recently it has gotten out of hand. They expect me to support them fully, and I just don't think that's possible. I'm successful, but I'm not swimming in disposable income. My husband and I are trying to build a life together with some sort of enjoyment, and my parents have us maxed out. And I worry that he's also starting to resent me, and I can't but feel like I've ended up in the exact position I worked so hard to get out of, living paycheck to paycheck and constantly stressed. How can I help my parents in a smart and sustainable way that's not going to ruin my own financial future? Okay, damn, this one hit me hard because this is not a glamorous generational wealth question. This is a generational wealth trap, and you are caught in the middle of it wearing a very expensive suit. You worked extremely hard to buy. I don't know if that analogy works, but go and be. First of all, I want to acknowledge something before we get into the practical stuff. What you did is genuinely extraordinary. You grew up watching money be a source of stress and scarcity, and you decided to build something completely different. And just to be clear, that takes a specific kind of drive that most people do not have. You broke a cycle, and you should feel very proud of that. And also, you're currently living paycheck to paycheck again, which is deeply unfair, and I completely understand why you're losing your damn mind. Okay, now I'm going to be the friend who tells you the hard thing. I like to think about myself as like the fun friend who also happens to be a financial expert. So lucky you. But here's the thing, your financial stability has to come first. I know that feels selfish, but it is not. This is the oxygen mask rule, and I swear by it. You cannot help anyone from the bottom of the ocean. If you are funding their retirement, but not yours, Houston, we have a very big problem. You can't take out loans for retirement the way you can for other things. Like every dollar that goes to them instead of your future self has a compounding cost, you will feel for decades. And then you're not having kids, but like for other people, then you're the parent in the situation writing the letter to someone else. So like, this is the cycle working. It's not cute. But I have a practical playbook. The first part is you need to have an honest conversation. Like you just sit down with your parents and establish clearly and lovingly what you can and cannot sustain. Like not what you wish you could give, what you can actually afford without torching your own financial future. And yes, this conversation is going to be uncomfortable. Anytime you talk to your parents about money, it's uncomfortable. Most people avoid it because of that. And then one day, they're just like quietly resenting their parents forever. So just have it anyways. It's cheaper in the long run. Okay. The second thing I want you to do is set a fixed monthly amount and treat it like a bill. So not an open tab, not like a guilt-funded ATM that dispenses cash every time someone's size loudly on a phone call. I want you to have a specific number that you can give sustainably without resentment. Write it down. Make it automatic. Do not go beyond it. Infinite access to your finances is not generosity. It is a slow financial crisis just with better manners. Okay. The next thing I want you to do that people really underrate is the homework before you assume that you're their only option because like do they own a home? Do they have any retirement accounts, even tiny ones? Do they qualify for social security or Medicare or Medicaid or any government assistant programs? You may be carrying significantly more than you legally or financially need to. And like you might be out here funding a lifestyle when there are actual programs designed for this exact situation. So talk to a financial advisor or an elder care specialist before you just like bankrupt yourself out of love. And then the next thing I want you to do is protect your retirement first. So like max out your 401k, max out your Roth IRA, and then help your parents with what is genuinely left over, not the other way around. This is not negotiable. Future rich you is watching and she is stressed. She's like, this would go either way. I don't know where to bet on it. It's a polymarket at this point. And then the last thing you need to do is obviously talk to your husband. And I mean this because financial stress that goes unspoken in a marriage, baby, it does not say financial. It becomes everything else. So it becomes like your tone of voice and I roles. And suddenly like you're arguing about whose turn it is to like empty the dishwasher when you're actually arguing about your parents. Like you are a team. He's your partner. And this decision needs to be made together with a number you both agree on and a shared understanding that your financial future is not on the table. You broke a cycle once. Okay. You are allowed to protect what you built. In fact, you have to because the most loving thing you can do for everyone in the situation, including your parents, is to not become the next person who needs rescuing. Thanks. Hello, I'm Simon Mayo. And I'm Mark Kermod. What a great episode we have for you lined up. Mark, what are you doing on the latest take? It's a packed show. We have reviews of Heart of the Beast, Brad Pitt and a dog, her private hell, the new film from Nick Winding Reffen, a Bournemon in the Devil, a documentary about the worst film ever made and sense and sensibility with our super special guest, gorgeous George Mackay. Don't miss a single second of the latest take. My next guest is the pioneering British fashion designer renowned for his signature classic with a twist aesthetic, support Smith. They say, Oh, poor job. Yes. Head of happiness. That's my job. What a great job. I do close as well. Listen to How To Fail, whatever you get your podcasts. Okay. Last one. Dear sugar mama, I just had my first baby and I'm as blissed out and sleep deprived as you can imagine. Stringing together, the words in this message is actually a feat for woman kind. So I'll get to the point. I think I need life insurance now that I have a child, but the process seems so daunting. My partner and I were so focused on preparing for the baby that we never got around to all of the adjacent adulting things you need to do. So where do I start? What am I forgetting other than everything because membrane is real? First of all, the fact that you strung together like a coherent question while keeping a newborn alive on 45 minutes of sleep makes you a hero and I will not be taking questions on that. Like I feel like I have mom brain and I just have a poodle. So damn, like you are really out here doing the most. We support you. We love our moms. Yes, queen. Mother says every day when you are a sipper, we love a mama. But you're right though. You do need life insurance and you need it now. Not when like you got around to it. Not when like the sleep deprivation lifts. Not someday when things calm down. And that's like true with any financial things do it now. Things are never going to calm down. You have a baby. This is calm now. Like this is the new level of calm. So do it. But here's the thing that nobody explains well is life insurance. is not for you. It's actually for the people who depend on you. So like, your income is keeping two people's lives running right now, so you need coverage. And I would suggest getting term life insurance. That's like the answer for most people. And it's the answer probably for you. You pick a term, so like 20 or 30 years, you pay a manageable monthly premium and then you're covered. And it is significantly cheaper than whole life insurance. For your situation, it's exactly what you need because like the younger and healthier you are when you get it, the lower your premiums will be, which means like right now today is the cheapest that this will ever be. So shop around, get a few quotes. Don't just like go with the first one that showed up in your Instagram ads at 3 a.m. during a feeding because they're going to know that you're listening to this and start serving you it. Like we've all been there and set up auto pay so you never forget to pay the bill and it doesn't lapse. Oh, and the other thing is that you need a will. I know you just push the human being out of your body and the last thing you want to do right now is think about your own mortality, but here's the thing you need to designate a guardian for your child and your will without one a court decides who raises them. So do not outsource that decision to the legal system, write it down, make it official, legal zoom and trust and will are both great starting points. And if you have complicated assets, work within a state attorney. Oh, and while you're in there, sorry, last thing, add pod and Todd designations to your bank and investment accounts. These are transfer on death and payable on death. So it takes 10 minutes and it will let your assets skip probate entirely and go straight to your family. And most people have never heard of it, but now you have go to it after your next nap, you're doing great. And I will also say that when you order future rich person, you get access to a bunch of freebies and one of the freebies are the seven documents you need in case you die. So like if you want access to everything that I'm talking about, you want to know exactly how to set your children up in case something happens to you, go buy the book and you're going to get access to all those freebies and it will change your life. And I just want to say like overall, really proud of you guys. I think it's, you know, as someone who grew up with generational wealth and does get bullied for it online, I will say that like, it's interesting to me that everyone wants to grow generational wealth, but then we're so mean to people who have it. So like let's also be nice to the kids who like are just doing their best, even though their parents did set them up well, you know, we're just out here fighting the good fight. And also like all it takes in every family is one person to change everything. Like the one person to open the accounts to get the documents, to have the uncomfortable conversations and to break the cycle. And like that person doesn't have to be wealthy. They just have to know what to do. And now you really do. So I'm really proud of you. Make sure that you got future rich person. It's out now, link in the show notes. You're going to get access to actually the ultimate generational wealth guide comes with that too. And all those documents that you need in case you die. Say rich, see you next Thursday. Oh, and don't forget to rate and subscribe.