Welcome to the Creativity and Soul podcast. My name is Jayad and I'm an art therapist, healer and creative coach. My job is to help women heal and expand into a life that is creative, authentic and fully embodied. In this space we explore the powerful intersections between art and psychology, creativity and mental health, and between our humanists and the soul. You ready? Let's dive right in. Hello and welcome to the first episode of Creativity and Soul, the podcast. This is crazy. It's crazy to me that I'm starting a podcast. My name is Jayad. I am an art therapist, a healer and a creative coach. And yeah, with this podcast I'm so excited to bring to you guys, you know, different perspectives and learnings and wisdom and knowledge that I've gained as an art therapist, you know, training as an art therapist, training as a counselor, working with my clients in that space, but also, you know, with my perspective and my understanding and training and work and, you know, as an energy healer, as a creative coach, and at the same time, you know, I have been, I mean, we'll get into this with this episode as you already know by the title. This is going to be my healing journey. I'm going to be talking about, you know, how I got into how I transitioned into this work in, you know, self-development in mental health, becoming a therapist, and then moving into the healer realm, the coach realm. It's been a journey, guys. And yeah, so we're going to be talking about that. Gosh, podcasts are hard. Podcasting is hard. It's just like you talking to yourself for, for however long for like 30 minutes, which is, you know, it's something to get used to. So anyway, bear with me as I get accustomed to the nature of podcasting. You will, I will explain later, I'm a little bit of a nervous speaker. It's definitely something that I am still working through. So, you know, hopefully over the course of these episodes, you'll see, I don't know, you'll see how it unravels. I've been doing a lot of work around opening up my throat chakra, working with healers, working with different mentors to help with my debilitating fear of public speaking. Anyway, we'll get into that later. That is a huge segue. So, yeah, very excited to bring to you guys my learnings, you know, as an therapist, as a healer, as a coach. I have loved working with the clients that I have, you know, the work that I do with women around the world. And honestly, also the work that I have, not even the work, but the practice that I've learned from mentors in the space has been so inspiring to me. And there is so much that I feel like just at least to my knowledge isn't like expressed or disclosed about the relationship between like art, creativity, soul, spirituality. In a way that, I don't know, I feel like, I feel like the topics of like art and soul, creativity and soul are just things that are so abstract, right? They're things that feel very like, airy fairy almost, that sound kind of airy fairy. And I really want to bring a grounded perspective into this. I want to make, I don't know, explain this. I want to make the practices to foster creativity and soul and to rediscover creativity and soul, to be more tangible for people, to, for people to actually be able to access and understand. And really know that, you know, creativity is a very innate human language and expression that we all speak. We are all meant to be expressive. We are all meant to be creative. You know, creativity is just its life, its life force energy. And, you know, we also all have a soul and our life force energy is intangibly, intrinsically connected and yeah, just connected to our soul. So I don't know, I want to, I want this podcast to bring, bring to you like a structure around what the discourse of creativity and soul can mean, the relationship between art and being art and self development, creativity and healing, creativity and your spirituality. Yeah, basically it's everything that I love talking about, everything that I am so passionate about and everything that I teach to my clients and little bite sized pieces. So, all right, without further ado, let's begin with the first episode, my healing journey, my story. I want to share this with you guys because I want you to know that I have, I have been there, you know, wherever you are. Well, obviously we all have different experiences, but I, you know, I came from, I came into this work from a a dark place of feeling lost, of feeling very stuck, of feeling very broken. It was a dark night of the soul, if you know that term. It was a dark night of the soul that transitioned me into the work that I'm doing now. And, you know, I want my story to encourage any of you who might be, you know, looking for direction, looking for self discovery, to see that it's very, very much, not even possible, but it's just very much, it's very much in your future if you so decide to stick your hand out and reach out for it. Okay, so I don't know, where do I start with this? Okay, so I, graduated university back in 2016. And I studied at a liberal arts college where, you know, I, I was a double major in like art history and political science. And, you know, I loved my studies. Yeah, most of the time I kind of, I loved my studies. You know, I was passionate about, I was passionate about like social politics. And I was passionate about art and, you know, the history of like culture. It was less about the history of artists for me. It was, it was more about just, I love beauty. And I love how, I loved learning about how beauty has contributed to, as contributed and shaped the, like, essence of society and cultures throughout generations. And, you know, just through time and to understand culture history, anthropology, everything through the lens of art. It was something that I just loved deeply because I just, I love art. I grew up around art. My mom is a designer and she, you know, in her spare time, she was always like very, she like, what you call it, she was like a docent at, like the local museum. And, anyway, I was just like very encouraged throughout my life very fortunately to, to like, immerse myself in the arts. And that has definitely fostered and brought me to, to where I am now and why, you know, I have such an interest in creativity. It is definitely a big part of it. But anyway, yeah, straight out of University of college, I was, you know, I had these like two majors, this degree, bachelor's degree, that was very, I don't know, I found it very difficult to find a job. And I wasn't sure like what direction to go in and what was obvious to me at the time was, you know, just to go in the past that was obviously the most lucrative and that applied, and that like my degree had relevance to. So, I started working out of uni as an intern at different like art galleries. And so at that point, you know, it was like, it was fine. I was still young. I was having so much fun just like with my social life and and and all of that, that thinking about my work or thinking about my purpose really was like not at all like on my radar. I was pretty much just like, you know, go in day by day, like live in, live in free, live in young. But yeah, so where do I go with this? So, I was, yeah, I was working for a couple years, a year or two, but earning terribly, terribly low pay. So, you know, fortunately for me, my family was able to send me to graduate school. So, I was really lucky in the sense that my, you know, my parents were able to support me.
even outside of my bachelor's degree and I was able to, you know, I went to London to do my graduate degree and I chose to do it in art history again because I was just, I was kind of going with the flow at this point. I, you know, I studied art history, I was like working art gallery so I was like, okay, well, you know, it seems to me that this is just the path that is easy and that is conveniently laid out for me. So let's just go with it. I didn't honestly, didn't really think to think deeper. It just kind of felt like the obvious thing. So anyway, did my degree so, did my degree and then I very luckily found a job straight after that. But the job that I ended up in, I came back to Hong Kong for it and it was the most soulless three years of my life that then ensued. I was working first in art gallery and anyway, it's a whole long story but basically I had a very toxic boss, you know, she kind of lured me into, she kind of lured me into this job with the pretense of, you know, this very close mentorship relationship that I could have with her. You know, she was like a very successful figure in the business and I was just so driven by, I was so driven by my ego and my desire to fit into a mold and to be special in the mold of, in the mold of like this art world that, anyway, I have many opinions about the art world, the art world being, the art world being like art galleries, art auctions and, you know, like the commercial art industry. But anyway, I was very much like sucked into this world. It was very toxic. It was a very competitive work environment and then, you know, my boss at the time, my toxic boss, she lured me away from, basically she decided to leave the gallery, this big gallery that we were working at and we, she lured me to quote unquote, like start a start up with her, to be her like hand in starting up this company and of course this also happened to coincide with, happened to coincide with, you know, like in Hong Kong, there were the protests. If you guys don't know, there were, yeah, anyway, Hong Kong's had over the past few years a string of political protests. And yeah, basically there was a lot of unrest at the time and, you know, the economy, local economy wasn't doing great. And then COVID hit. So we were starting out this business. We were trying to work with different galleries and artists around the world. It was like an art consultancy essentially. And I was just doing, I was doing like honestly administrative work that I hated. It was soul sucking. It was awful. And then anyway, so when all of this, all of these world events were happening, you know, the companies bank account just, you know, it suffered. And my boss was no longer able to pay me. And at this time, I was so kind of just like, I don't know, I was like, kind of honestly a little bit like frozen. I'm, you know, thinking back, I was definitely in a bit of a, I was chronically dysregulated. I was in like a freeze state. I didn't really know, I don't really know what to do. I was like stuck in this job that I had high expectations for, but that at the same time, I knew that I, that was kind of soulless. And I also knew that I didn't agree with the principles and the values of, of, of the company and of my, you know, my employer at the time. And I was just, yeah, I wasn't getting paid. So I don't know, this went on for like a couple, a few years, a couple years. You know, my boss would pay me on and off. Don't ask me why I even tolerated it. But I mean, basically I was just, I was getting manipulated and I was not, I was aware of it, but I just, I was frozen and I was paralyzed. I didn't know what to do about it. And it only really, nothing really changed until people around me, people in my life, my friends, and my family started to kind of like tat me on the shoulder and say, what are you doing? What are you doing? You are, you don't, you look deeply unhappy. You know, my best friend was saying like it, it hurts me to see you in a position where you're wasting the best years of your life away and that you are, you know, wasting your time on, on an environment and on a workplace that is not serving you that, you know, you're not really feeling like you're offering much to the world and you know, you have so much to offer. So basically it was a wake up call that I needed to get out of the situation. So, guys like, I guess here I'll, I'll talk about, I'll talk about my fear of speaking and the blocks I have around, using my voice. This is going to I think be, you know, when I talk about my own personal anecdotes throughout this podcast, this is going to be a running theme. It is like the running theme of my life and what, what I'm still very much on like a learning and unraveling and healing journey with. But basically like, I was so paralyzed and so frozen at this point in time in this position in my like very toxic, honestly like emotionally, I don't know, like, I don't want to, I don't want to like, I don't want to use this word lightly, but it was almost an emotionally abusive toxic manipulative relationship, but it was with my boss. It was not a romantic partner, but it was my quote-unquote like work partner. But anyway, it took me even like four months to figure out how to resign, because I just didn't have the ball, that didn't have the bravery or courage to even send in a resignation letter. I was so trapped in so much fear. I was so trapped in like the lowest self-esteem, lowest sense of self-worth when it came to my capacity that I like couldn't even like hand in my resignation letter. I couldn't even like call in a meeting to say that I needed to leave this job, because I felt, I felt like unhealthily attached to, to the job to, you know, what the job appeared to give me what I perceived my, you know, my, basically my identity was just so tied up with my profession, because that was really the only thing that I felt like I knew at the time. And, you know, my toxic boss was the person who, she felt like, she felt like a lifeboat, and it felt like I was dropping myself off of the lifeboat. Suddenly I'm seeing, as I'm talking about this, I'm seeing myself as like almost like, so traumatic, but like, like Jack and Rose on the Titanic. It was kind of just like, yeah, like I was, I felt like I was on a life raft, and I was just paralyzed, and I didn't know how to get myself, I didn't know how to get myself off without drowning, essentially. Yeah, so it was a dark time. Eventually I did do it. I did, and I'm resigning. It took, oh, there are so many layers to this guy. It took a heartbreak, a very deep heartbreak, in like, with a romantic, significant other at the time, to trigger this need to trigger like the final straw and the need to really like do something about my life, because it just felt like I was, it felt like my soul was stuck, and it felt like my soul was stuck, and it was very clear that if I didn't do something about it, then I don't know, then it would just be darkness, right? So, I quit my job finally, which was very freeing, very relieving, and then, yeah, actually, I kind of want to backtrack a little bit, because I quit my job, but before I quit my job, as a part of me trying to figure out how I would, how I could like get off of this life.
without drowning. I started doing a lot of self-development work a little bit. I started meditating a lot. You know, one of my friends recommended. She has just started meditating at the time and she recommended that I get into it with her. So it was nice. She helped me accountable and that was the beginning of my meditation journey. And meditation now is something that is so deeply ingrained in my lifestyle and in the way that I nurtured myself and nurturing my soul. But back then it was something that I was just like I was just desperately trying anything that could give me some sense of like light or give me some clarity. So started doing these like guided meditations that I found on like Spotify and YouTube that were like visualization-based. And you know, I was practicing this for I don't know like a couple months. Before one day I did this very long like one hour meditation, guided meditation. That was something like I wish I could find it again and I would totally share it with you guys because it was this was the the point at which I kind of found a solution. I like that solution finally clicked for me. And it was it was a bit of a it was a lightbulb moment and and yeah maybe if I ever find this track again I will you know share it and post it somewhere for people to to try out and explore if they want to. But anyway there's a guided meditation for like finding your finding your true cell for finding your true desire kind of thing. And I yeah basically at the end of the meditation something clicked something very very deeply clicked and it just popped into my mind. Art therapy. It was just like a very very strong clear message that was my mind just suddenly told me like why don't you explore art therapy. You know art is something that means a lot to you has been a part of your whole path. You know you believe at the time and still now like you know art is something that will always be an underlying one of the underlying threads in my life. But at the same time you know I was in this job in this career trajectory career path that was to me I know this is a controversial opinion and I this is just my opinion. But to me like the job that I was doing working at a art gallery the type of art gallery that I was working at it was extremely soulless and it was to me the opposite of the opposite of service. It was it felt like exploitation. It felt like I was harming people. It felt like I was like harming the world and the economy by being in this job by being in this industry. Sounds like a very extreme statement but that's how it felt. So you know so art therapy that's a highly service oriented field and it I've always known that I've been a good listener. I am you know very caring and I am usually like the friend and the person that people like to turn to whenever they have problems whenever they want to talk or want to vent or want advice I've been told that I'm the person that people turn to. So I knew that this was a natural like gift that I had and I guess it all pieced together whether you believe that was like higher consciousness you know whether those were my guides talking to me back then or whether you know it was just my brain finally like putting a couple puzzle pieces together but like yeah art therapy. So then I came out of that meditation I like went on Google and I just I just like looked for people I could talk to. I was like art therapists in Hong Kong. Professional art therapy, art therapy groups to join and I just reached out to like 10 people you know a few people such kind therapists like came back to me we met up for coffee I had some zoom chats with them and it just reconfirmed that it was something that I wanted to explore more. So I also like bought you know a few books on Amazon and I started doing some reading and it just felt like the next step for me. I knew intuitively that that was the thing that I needed to do and that was going to be my how do you call those like my little floaty as I jumped off of the life raft that I perceived myself to be on in the job that I was in. So as you can tell as I'm talking about this I'm realizing how ego-driven I was so fearful of taking any leaps really any leaps any any any shift out of my comfort zone without having a very firm backup plan and I think that that anyway this is kind of a segue but I think that that definitely like delayed like my fear around that and my fear of the unknown at the time really kind of postponed and delayed my whole rediscovery process more than was honestly probably necessary. So if you're listening to this know that everything works out for a reason everything you know if you trust your intuition and you and you trust in your own inner knowing inner wisdom and inner knowledge you trust in your own your own voice and everyone has an inner voice okay if you trust in that no one will never steer you wrong but of course at the time I didn't know that I hadn't done you know the work I hadn't done really yeah I just I just hadn't done the work to really unpack that and to really trust in myself so I was you know constantly looking for backup plans and and and and like backup solutions to help me from every angle so that I wouldn't fall into the unknown anyway so where was I that brings me to yeah quitting my job I was able to quit my you know I felt like psychologically mentally able to quit my job because I had decided that I knew what the path was that I was going to move into our therapy so I you know at the time this was this was I think the right at the beginning of COVID so it was really I don't know like would you call it serendipitous timing or I mean it's divine timing everything is everything happened in due time for a reason but yeah it happened at the beginning of COVID so I started you know I was at home all the time you know I had a dog with me my beautiful dog who really kept me company and you know I was living at home with my family to at the time which was I don't know being 20 something and living at home because of your financial situation because of you know having to quit a job and not being financially stable enough is a little bit of a it was a it was definitely a ego blow for me and it was I don't know I had I had many conflicted feelings about this about you know going through this difficult time COVID everything in Hong Kong and a place of place that felt very unstable very unsettled unrest a lot of just like social collective unrest the energy in Hong Kong was so I don't even know the word it was so didn't I want to say like disrupted but that's not the right word it was just very it was it was just a difficult time and things just felt very chaotic and hectic but you know being at home in Hong Kong turns out has been you know living with my family everything has been such a privilege in such a such a solace for me anyway I don't know why I got there but we're being wrong vulnerable and I am just bringing you along in my in my whole journey up to this point just because I want you to know that we're all human and that we all go through shit we all go through trauma and you know this goes into the whole conversation of trauma being there's big tea trauma and there's also small tea trauma and never discount your experiences and your challenges and obstacles and difficulties that have sent you into stress responses that have made you
that have made you paralyzed, or frozen, and stuck in addictive cycles, or stuck in unhealthy relationships. Like, don't discount your experiences with anything that you have found difficult, just because you are someone who, you know, for me, for example, like just because I am someone who comes from like a family that is nuclear, that is generally pretty happy, you know, that I am privileged enough to be able to live in my family home, and I am, you know, like my parents are very supportive for the most part, and are willing to feed me, and how is me during this time of instability and like growth in my life? Anyway, so my point here is really just to say that wherever you are in your journey, it's okay, and you know, as you can hear from me talking about my journey, it's not been easy, but I don't know, it all happens in divine timing guys. It all happens in due timing, and everything, you know, thinking back in hindsight, everything unfolded for a very particular reason, everything unfolded at a very particular time, in a very particular way, so that, you know, it all kind of like each thing opened another door, it's the classic cliche, but it's true, like everything opens a door, a window to the next thing, and you make a choice, and that choice brings you into the next, and it all unravels in a way that moves you towards, I believe, your destiny, and your mission and your sole purpose. So anyway, this was the dark period, and at the same time, this was the period that completely transformed the course of my life. This was when I really got into self-development, I really got into understanding what it, what like mental health really meant. Learning about mental health, learning about psychotherapy, learning about art therapy, and I started my training several months later that year. I did a program remotely from Hong Kong, like with a school that was based in Canada and Vancouver, so yeah, it was an interesting time, it worked because it was, you know, it was COVID, internationally pandemic, so I was kind of like trapped at home anyway, and so I was very happy to just spend all my time a little bit like a recluse, just reading a lot, and writing a lot, and reflecting a lot. But this was really the turning point. And what I'll say is that during my art therapy training, that was about a year and a half long. During the first year of it, it was isolating, it was difficult because I was here in Hong Kong, while my peers were all in Canada, and I didn't have the structure and the support that I, that I, that like the rest of my peers got, you know, local to them. So I had to find my own clients, and I had to like, you have to do practicum, so you know you have to do your clinical hours as a therapist in order to graduate, like practice with clients and everything. And it really pushed me, it really, really pushed me out of my comfort zone again. But I think at this point, you know, I had also started talk therapy. I had explored art therapy as a client, like myself as well. And you know, I had done enough foundational work that I felt stronger, and I felt, I had a lot of conviction at this point that, you know, that I had already taken the leap in committing to a career change in art therapy and everything. I felt okay with, with, with pushing myself a little bit further, pushing myself out of my comfort zone. And I think this was really, well, okay, let me backtrack. So basically, this is so scattered, guys. I hope that's okay. But, you know, we're all invulnerable, right? So I, we are with practicum training. I had to like, find my own clients. So I, I had to basically just like send out flyers on my personal Facebook asking, you know, who wanted art therapy sessions. And I don't know, as I'm saying this, I'm realizing like, it doesn't sound like it's a big deal. But for me, I have been someone, it's hard to explain, but I have been someone who has been quite reserved in, in how I put, how I present myself to people in the sense of I like, I always felt like I needed to be in control of, of the way people perceive my identity. And so having to start in you and having to start from scratch. And, you know, I, at the moment still, I'm living in Hong Kong. But being in Hong Kong and working in art therapy, training as an art therapist, no one, but well, not no one, but virtually like, virtually very few people in my local community even had even heard of art therapy. So I was so lacking in self-confidence and in my self-esteem that I just, I didn't know how to present myself. I didn't know how to explain my work. I didn't know how to show up for myself, show up for what I believed in, show up for this change in my life, you know, to be proud of myself. And until I bravely stand up for, for the shift that I was making, for myself and for my higher purpose and for my happiness. So it was just, it was a, it was a journey in, in like, learning how to show up for myself enough that I had to sell my practicum services, quote unquote, to people in my community. And this was a really good practice. Honestly, it was the beginning of my business as you know it, it was the beginning of your piece. You know, your piece has transformed significantly and dramatically even since, and this was like a year and a half ago. But that was the beginning of it. And I started, you know, I started getting referrals here and there. You know, obviously my sessions were very low minimum cost at the time because it was just, it was like student practice. But it was like really like wonderful to get to be getting referrals to be getting, you know, positive feedback. And I was just learning. I was learning a lot. It was very humbling. I was learning about what it meant to be a service provider, what it meant to be a therapist, what it meant to, to be, to help people, what it meant to be an art therapist. There was just a lot, a lot to learn for someone who even like half a year ago then was in a profession that was very different. It was like a sales position that I was in. I was doing mostly like logistical and sales work with, like, with very different type of people than the people that I was attracting through our therapy. And, you know, what I found is that the people that I was, that I was like, that I was interacting with that were coming to me, not only in Hong Kong, but like internationally around the world. I was starting to work with, you know, young women in, in the US, young women in Europe, in just different areas of the world, but also local to me. Who were just, it felt like we're so alike to me. I really felt like I finally, like, I don't know, I felt like, I felt like it was, it felt a bit like of a coming home. I felt like I was finally connecting with people that I was meant to connect with people who I get. You know, this was, I don't know, as it's making sense, it was just, it was a very healing journey, even doing, it was a healing journey pushing myself to, to work with, you know, clients to interact with people to show up for myself by interacting with new clients in this way. It had such terrible imposter syndrome when I began such terrible imposter syndrome. And it was really a practice of showing up for myself constantly doing the self development work myself, you know, whether that be very consistent journaling, whether that be, you know, going to therapy, doing the mindset work. a lot of brain rewiring at the time too to get myself.
out of the scarce, fearful mindset that I had been programmed into me over the last however many years due to my, because of the job that I was in and the employer that I had. So yeah, from then on with training as an art therapist and all of that, things were slowly getting better. I was like slowly, slowly healing, slowly kind of learning more about myself, learning about where my trigger points were, what I kind of needed to unravel and work on in order to actually show up as a therapist and show up as an individual. And then, you know, as the, as the concept of, as the concept of graduation and like what it meant to professionally be in art therapist, started to become more, more real as I was like, I don't know, like closing in on my training, I guess. I had to really decide what I wanted to do, whether I felt like I wanted to go into private practice or, or I wanted to, or if I wanted to attach to a clinic, what not. Oh, I don't know how detailed to get into this because I know I've been talking for like 40 minutes already. But basically, you know, I also, there were some personal circumstances in my life at the time, my partner who I am still with, you know, during COVID, everything in Hong Kong, his job basically kind of, it all kind of crumbled for various reasons. He, you know, was forced to make a choice to leave his work and his workplace. And there were no other opportunities in Hong Kong at the time for his work, for his position. So he needed to leave. And this was another wake up call for me. This was another moment of, of, of expansion, of needing to leave, you know, he had to move out of the country. And I had to make the decision of whether to follow. Right. So it's funny when I'm talking about this, I'm realizing that the universe was just like, it was just sending me, was sending me like, I don't even want to say tests, but like, just sending me different, like, another layer of expansion that like, I needed to push through at the time. Like I'm kind of seeing this as like, seeing myself as like a ball. And then with every layer that you have to expand and break through, it's like a, I don't know, like a, like a layer of atmosphere around, if you see yourself as like a planet or like an orb, like it's like a layer of atmosphere and atmosphere layer around you. And you have to break through that to get to the next dimension. And then you have to break through that to get to the next dimension. That's what I felt like. That's what it's kind of like as I'm talking about it, it reminds me of. Anyway, so basically I decided at that point that, you know, I had felt like stuck in Hong Kong for a long time, I had felt like because there is so little discourse about the field of art therapy in Hong Kong for various other reasons, it just felt very, it felt very difficult for me to connect with local clients. My Chinese like isn't as great. My like Cantonese and Mandarin isn't as eloquent and fluent as my English. So I struggle to speak Mandarin or Cantonese to clients in like in a professional setting in this way. So I was, I'm really limited when I'm working locally in Hong Kong to the kind of clients that I can get to and then like in working with North American and like European, like working with any other country outside of Hong Kong, there's a huge time zone difference. So, you know, I was finding that I was working like really late at night or really early in the morning in order to adapt to client times, like clients' time zones. So basically I made a decision that I am, I was going to move and I still haven't moved yet actually, but I am going to be moving in, in a few months time hopefully, um, within this year I'm going to be moving to Vancouver to join my partner, which I'm so excited about. But, um, you know, at the moment I'm kind of readying all my things and tying up some loose ends before I make that move, but, um, where do I even, maybe I'll do a little bit of like a part two to this, but um, the decision to move and the decision to move, which meant that I would have to commit and take a leap, um, in my entrepreneurship and starting your piece and properly committing to it and like being a business owner so that I could carry on my business here, um, to Canada. That is something that has, uh, expanded me further, like I said, but in that expansion, I found myself in another, almost like another mini dark night of the soul. It was, there was a lot of soul searching that I had to do in understanding, in understanding how I was going to do that and how I was going to shed the layers of limiting beliefs that I had around my capacity in working, like working for myself and, and, and creating a company and following my dreams and doing and like working in creating a creating work that was also my passion and following my passion in earning money. Um, I had so many negative limiting beliefs around all of that, so many that I needed to break through and, um, I found myself really moving into my spirituality, um, exploring my spirituality. Um, also at this time, you know, this was about eight months ago, I would say many people and events and things I believe were divinely placed into my life to expand me towards that direction in towards, you know, learning more about my spirituality, my soul, learning about, um, learning about my soul's purpose here, learning about energy work, learning about energy healing and, you know, healing not simply in, uh, healing not simply within the boundaries and the box of therapy or art therapy, but healing also in the modes of energy healing of, of inner healing of integrated healing of spiritual healing. Um, I started exploring that for myself and that has completely opened up my world. I feel like I have spent so much time talking about my past, um, you know, up until our therapy and, and with our therapy, um, which were the first pivot pieces in the first, like, foundational, like, like, it was the first pit, those were the first pivot points, but, um, what has really opened me up and completely, honestly, completely changed my life and changed the way I show up and the way I feel in my skin and the way I am able to like, you know, like, like show up for my work and show up for my community and like be excited about what I have to offer and all of this stuff and believing in myself and just all of it, all of it. Um, it all happened when I started exploring my, my soul's purpose, started exploring what that meant for me and something about learning about energy and learning about soul and spirit at this time, it felt like a larger calling. It was actually very clear to me, even before I even fully understood what it, what it meant before, yeah, before I even really understood what it meant, I knew that this was the threshold that I had been work, I had been waiting for in a way that my soul had been waiting for. It was like, this was my spiritual awakening, essentially. And a part of my spiritual awakening was realizing that into grading, um, soul work, with creativity, with art is a part of my purpose and it's a part of what I have been waiting to uncover about myself and uncover about my future and my destiny and my, um, just like my existence in being here in this lifetime. So, you know, doing the spiritual work was another whole dimension of going deep,
into the root of my programming, my conditioning, my beliefs, my trauma. And it allowed me to unravel and uncover a lot of things, a lot of traumas and things that were not only things that I had suppressed from this lifetime, from like childhood in this life, but also things from past lives that have carried into this life. So many things that are now that have now clicked into place and continue constantly continue to click into place as I go deeper and deeper into this work for myself and with my clients even. It has been like a really rapid evolution, like my spiritual awakening has been a very rapid evolution. Probably more rapid I feel like than most people that I know of and that I've heard. And I believe that you know everyone's awakening, everyone's journey with this into healing into their soul's work is is unfolding exactly as it should be. But it's become very clear, which is crazy. It's become very clear that it was meant to all tie together. So like my background in art, all of the dark shit that I went through in my early 20s, right? And then as well as my all my experiences as a teenager in college, everything, how I am as a person, as someone who's like deeply empathetic, as someone who also identifies as highly sensitive, all of these things add up for me to now finally come to this place where I am tapping into a new dimension of healing and bringing that to my community, bringing that to the people around me and healing myself, healing my family, healing and like ancestral generations beyond me, healing my past lives, coming to where I am now. It all makes sense. And it's finally allowing me to step into my power to see that I have the full power to create my life. I have the full power to shape my life. And this is not exclusive to me. Like everyone has the power to step into their lives. Everyone has the power to uncover and release and heal the things that held them back, that held them back. Regardless of whether it's multi trauma or big T trauma, whether it's past life, this life, anything like all of it is within your grasp, within your control, within your power, within and within your own strength. So it's funny because I think about my healing journey and my journey up until now and it's been it's been four years since the beginning of all of this. And it I've changed so much. I feel like a completely different person from who I was for three, four years ago. And I also feel like I feel like I have completely different interests. I have completely different not values. I would say that I still have the same values like intrinsically within, but I have very different priorities now for myself and very different desires to with what I want from life and what I you know want for myself. And a very different perception of the world. But I also know that there's so much still to uncover and still to unravel and that is and it's crazy because that is something that like deeply excites me. And that's when you know that you're on the right path, right? When you were excited to uncover more when you were constantly curious about who you are, you're constantly curious to uncover more about yourself so that you can bring more of who you truly are into your future into the future that you want to create the self that you want to create. So wow. I don't know that I've ever spoken about myself for for at such length before. I hope this wasn't too boring. I don't know as I'm talking about this. I'm realizing that you know it's kind of been even like doing this podcast episode right now. It's feeling kind of healing. I feel like I've never yeah again like I've never told my story in this way. And I pretty much just summarizes the significance and the power of this healing work and it summarizes why why I like why I do the work that I do and like why I show up every day and why I believe that so many people are going to benefit from from the modalities that I have learned and the way that I have you know kind of learned and compiled my different just my my different experiences training certifications together. All of it has so deeply transformed my life and I just know that it is going to transform others too. So thank you for joining me in this episode. Thank you for being here for listening to my story. I am honestly like really humbled and yeah just very grateful that you're here. If you stuck it out this far, thank you. If you resonated with my story anything you want to add anything you want to say DM me on Instagram my handle is at yourpiece.art. Yeah email me at
[email protected]. Let's start a conversation. Yeah I'm excited to uncover everything creativity and soul with you going forward.
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