My Estate Agency Story - Lexi Hensby - Ep. 2518

(gentle piano music) - My estate agency story. Today I'm joined by Lexi Hensby, who is an estate agent from Cambridgeshire. She's been through Helen back. She's been at become a soft employer estate agency. She has gone through family tragedy, and now she is flying the flag for soft employer estate agency in Cambridgeshire. She's doing great jobs with her vendors, but boy, boy, she's been through the shit to get here. Thank you for joining me today, Lexi. - Thank you very much, Chris. - I want you to go back to before you had a job. Where were you brought up as a child? (gentle music) - Okay, so you'll actually never guess where I'm originally from because I should have had one hell of an accent. I'll give you two guesses. - Go on then. I don't know. Glasgow and Birmingham. - No, wrong, I am a scouser at heart. (laughing) So I was-- - I'll see the posh part. - It was the Whirl, which I was the posh part. But yeah, no, moved from there to Ely when I was probably about three, and then spent most of my life between Ely, Wimblington and Doddington. - Were you parrot scousers? - Yeah. - Are they like, - Ely, Ely, cold down. - Yeah, it's sneaks out every now and again, you can still hear it. I don't often hear it, but other people certainly do. - Have you still got family up there? - I do. - So I bet they, when they get the cells up there. - Oh, it comes back immediately. - So what? - Chaking in a can of code. (laughing) - So we're back from the Whirl, I've put the Birkin head all down at Nesta and on the posh part. - Birkin head, yeah, straight off the bat, Birkin head. - There you go, all good stuff. What did your mum and dad do when you were growing up? - So my dad's firefighter, he's just retired to be fair. That was what he did the whole time for the US Air Force, based around here at Lake Neath, Alcombury, those sorts of bases. And my mum was mostly a homemaker and just had some jobs she went into school. - Okay, any brothers and sisters? - I do, I have two sisters and a brother. - Okay, and older or younger? - One older sister to one younger sister, one younger brother. - As you were growing up, what did your father teach you? - What a good question. I would probably say, just don't be a dick. It's over, all is a good life for all to have. Just be honest, respectful and nice to people. And that will do most of the work for your whole life. - And your mum? - My mum is an incredible person. She is very empathetic. She's taught me so much about how to be kind and gentle. I think that's definitely my mum's core. So it makes up her heart for sure. - And any notable grandparents that taught you something? - No. - Mostly come from you. So you don't mean no technical term? - Yeah, technical term. - Who taught you your hard work? 'Cause I know you work like a dog. - I do. - Where did that come from? - That's probably a mixture of both, you know, 'cause my dad was very career driven. He spent literally his whole career from going from the army to being a firefighter. - Was he with the normal firefighters service and then went to work for the Americans on the. - No, literally just straight from the US Air Force, from the army went into the US Air Force firefighter department. And that carried him all the way through until he retired, literally just about six months ago. Whereas my mum, although she never had like a proper career that she followed through, everything she ever did, every job she ever did, was done properly to the best of her ability. And my Lord, she taught me how to be good with money as well, to spend a pound as many times as possible and to just make sure that you're doing this properly. That was definitely from my mum. - As you're growing up in your teenage years, did you know what you wanted to be? - Not a state agent. I think I wanted to be a teacher. I went through all school, I went to college, did teacher training at my primary school that I went to, realised, Christ, this is not at all, what I imagined. Then took a short break, went to America for three years, went to Turkey as well, did some childcare over there, and then came back and landed in Lettings. And then. - What year was this? - Started in Lettings in 2015. - Okay, how old were you then? - 19. - So you kind of fell into the game right most of us? - Absolutely, yeah, it was never something I planned on doing. I had a very brief stint working at a marketing agency where I used to, used to vlog adverts that were in miniature war beams magazines. And that was my first little taste of sales. And then I was headhunted by just a recruitment company. I've been wanting to be in Lettings, I'll send you over and I worked for Belfoy in Peterborough. - With Terry Lucking? - With Terry Lucking indeed, yes. - What was the made with the lead? His right hand made you there, can I? - Emma Falco, although she's now ever diited. She's no longer there, actually. - She's. - 'Cause I know he sold out, didn't he? - He did sell out, yeah. - Well, this is, Grantham is the head office of Belfoy, if you recall. - I didn't think that. - And if you were there in 2015. - I was. - I'd left in 2013. - No. - I used to be a national recruitment manager for Belfoy. - Oh, we could have crossed past Chris. - I could have done but I'd left by that. - Nearly, yeah, not by that. - Big operation there. - Yeah. - Did you enjoy it? - Oh my God, yeah. The buzz got me immediately. - I mean, it's a big operation. - It's fast pace. Lettings is, I mean, I personally wouldn't do lettings now. I'm not a fan of lettings anymore. There's a lot of negativity that comes with it. But the buzz that you'd get in the office, when you get another one in, the bonuses, I mean, I look back now and the actual financial gain was poor. But at that time, I was young, I was hungry for it and I absolutely don't know. - Still living at home? - I was living. No, actually, that's a lie. I spoke too soon. I'd moved out, well, I moved out when I was 18. That was when I moved to Turkey. And then came back briefly, stayed at my mum's until I just got a rental and I lived in Peterborough. - Okay, so this is 2015. When did you go into a state agency? - 2015, I started in lettings. And I was there for two years, all of 2015 and all of 2016. And then in 2016, I flew to DC. I stayed in DC until 2019, came back, got straight back into a state agency. But this time for sales. - If you don't mind me saying, there's a little bit of gypsy blood in you. - Oh, yeah. I've been all over. I once counted how many houses I'd lived in because you always get the dad on a view it. I've moved about eight times. I think I've moved nearly as many years as I've been alive. I've moved 28 times in my 32 years. - If you're an army brat, you're going to be a army. - I'm not though, because it was, he was always stationed at the same place. I've just moved, I've rented everywhere, moved overseas. I've lived in this country, I've lived there, and I've moved cities. - I mean, to go to America then. - Honestly, I got bored. I was fed up at the same time. - Do you get bored easily over the lot of things? - No. But at that time, I was just young, free and single. - A major girl. - And I got fed up of just monotonous days. So the bars had kind of worn off a little bit with the lettings. And I decided I wanted to change a scenery. So I signed up to be an opair. That was it, I was gone. - Did you enjoy Malta? - Yeah, the plan was to never come back. Now with the state of it, I'm glad I did. - What did you learn by being in America for years as an opair that's helped you now? - Well, ironically, some about real estate. I shadowed, I did two things when I was there, as well as actually being an opair for an amazing family that I then named my son after their son. I got so much life experience, I found myself, I became authentic in my own self. - Oh, time out there. Found yourself. - Yeah. - And this generation Z-Bullocks, what's fighting yourself mean? - Wow, I was just floating around before and I found what I wanted to do. I became real. - What do you mean became real? - Stopped putting a mask on for everything, I think. - So became self-aware? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah? - And actually just did what made me happy rather than just. - Could have that happened in the UK? Or could it, you know, it's just a fact, is it you're in your early 20s and now you're rich yet? - Yeah, I think you're right. I could have been anywhere. - And what did you want to do? What did you want to do with your life in your early 20s? - No idea. - But you were aware of it. - I wanted to see the world, I wanted to travel. - Okay. - I didn't have a career in mind. So what made you come back then? If you were in DC, you know. - My visa ran out. - Can you extend it? - No. I'd lap stick. So you're allowed to extend the visa that I was on. I was able to extend it. Of course, I did both extensions and it came to the point now unless I got offered full employment there. then I had to come back and. So what year. What month was this in 2019? January. So you came back and you fell into a state agency with a corporate state agency? Yeah, moved to Norwich because I was so adamant after travelling around. Norwich. I could not come back to my hometown. It felt like a failure to come straight back and be where I was. So you thought you'd go to the bright lights of Norwich? Norwich, yeah. It was just something different. And I had a friend that lived there and I thought, right, well that will do. It's somewhere different. And yeah, I landed in the hub of Norwich and got myself a job back in a state agency selling houses. How long were you at the corporate state agency for? I was there from 2019 till 2021. Okay, so you had COVID in the middle of that? You hadn't been in the state agency before but you'd had a taste of real estate. You said you'd been shadowing a real estate agent? Yeah, in DC. And I also shadowed a criminal defense lawyer and I teased with the idea of going down that road but I don't think I could, I'm too empathetic. I couldn't do it. It wasn't for me. Was real estate in America similar to a state agency at the corporate state agency in Norwich? No. It was entirely different. It definitely a lot more closely fits what I do now. But at the time I didn't even think that was possible in the UK. I just thought, that's how they do it there and this is how they do it here. And the two things shall never meet. Well, we're the good things about UK state agency and then with, remember, with your limited view at the time. Forget where you are now. What did you like about American estate agency that you didn't get at the corporate state agency? What did I like about American real estate agency? I felt like when I watched the agent turn up to a viewing and would just have full control over what was to happen. Like they could just direct the vendor on where they wanted to be, put these flowers out, the staging of a home. And then I obviously compared that at that time I had, I hadn't been in sales in the UK. So I didn't have a direct comparison, but as soon as I then came back and then all of a sudden my job was to just take a bunch of keys and a diary out of the day and just rock up at this house and guess what's behind the door. And I thought, gosh, this is, this is a shambles. It's not at all the same. Did you say anything to your bosses at the time? Oh God no. I was just grateful to be there. Like this was my foot in the door. You know when you sit in the desk and they go, where'd you see yourself in five years? Oh, I want to progress all the way to the top. Yeah, that was me. So division director or something. Oh yeah. Do you know most of them are miserable to sin? Yeah. Yeah. I definitely saw a bit of that sneak out. Did you like the fact that you mean don't get me wrong? The firm you're talking about is very, very well known for its training. Did you, did you get a good, good training there? I will definitely give credit to a credit as due. They gave me the knowledge and the insight that I needed to become a good estate agent. I just had to put my own twist on it. What didn't you like? And as I said, you know, be respectful, but I know you will be. Yeah. Everything was so hurried all the time. From getting into the morning meeting and rushing through numbers and rushing to answer the phone. I remember so vividly being handed, you know, when you go to a nightclub and the dormans got a clicker to count the people in there. We were handed clickers and we told we had to make a hundred calls every day with the clickers and we had to prove the end of the day how many calls we've made. And a hundred calls, that's not quality. That's just calling and harassing people until they get fed up with a couple of minutes later. What were you calling them for? Vals. Getting your door, do you want to still sell your house? We were given lists that were three or four years old. And you'd have to go through this Excel spreadsheet printout and just call people. Do you still live there? Do you want to sell your house? We came out to see you a few years ago and it was to moralise it. But it was just a rush to get to everything. Then when you go out in the diary and all of the viewings were back to back. You'd eat one was a half an hour slot that would include travel time to the next one and heaven forbid someone's running late for five minutes. Your whole day is a rush. The stress and anxiety that would put on whoever was doing that. It was intense. You were targeted for a lot of things like price restrictions and bonus for those sort of things. Yeah. And we're going to talk about this at greater detail in one of the subject videos. How did you feel that a value had brought something back that was quite obviously a price because they've got their listing bonus. Could you tell that someone had overvalued it just to get the business so they got their bonus and then you think so. Well, at least I'm going to get my bonus getting the price reduced after about six months. Yeah. Obviously when you're a complete newbie. You expect everyone is an expert in the room and they're doing everything to the absolute tea. But that facade wore off quite quickly and when it was my job to start selling these properties and I was listening to the buyers responses and they're saying to me, well, there's one at the road that was 50 grand less than that. So we're going to offer on that. It started becoming quite apparent that that was the case. How did that make you feel? We're pretty pissed off really because I felt like I was being set up to fail. I've been targeted not only for figures that I had to report on every single day of how many properties I'd booked viewings for a sold. But if I'm being given something to sell and it's wildly overpriced, I'm not going to be able to sell it and then I'm not earning my money. Could you not challenge the value of my bet you're so well, can I take it this awful? Or would they put, we never sold them because you saw them in the morning meeting and then they go. That's valid, that's true. I never really got much of a chance to even have that conversation. But in all honesty, if I had been given a chance, I don't think I would have done it anyway. I wouldn't have had the balls to call them out. Because the value was a kind of put on a pedestal guy. Of course they are. They're the show ponies, aren't they? They bring in the bacon. They actually used to call it the bacon. With the other aspects of the business you like, you know, FS targets and you have to see our FS Rate guy for the moment. Oh, you're giving me PTSD Chris. No, I hated it. Was this feeling the same throughout the office? Oh yeah. The day that we were given a script and told, it doesn't matter if they say they're using cash to buy. You must qualify them with the mortgage breaker. Well, that's the law. I'll give you that. No, no, no, come on. It's bending off because we were recordings of our right move calls were blasted in front of the whole office. And we were basically put on the spot. Why didn't you book them an appointment? Because they told me they're not using a mortgage. Well, I don't care. We want to try and make them using mortgage. So get the bum on the seat. Get the phone call. But surely, surely, if it is cash then some some estate agent say, well, I won't get the proof of cash but give it to a mortgage arranger. I mean, some do, but surely email in a back statement. A proof of offer. That should advice. That's certainly how I do things now. When did the penny and this doesn't happen overnight or it might have done where you think to yourself, I could do this better myself. It wasn't overnight. It came in a few different stages. One, my old manager took the jump. She went to work for David Lee and that was my first inclination that they see. And she was just going, yeah, so that I a D now for anyone that's injury. They are indeed. Yeah, and I watched her do it. And she flew. She absolutely just took off straight away. That was your branch manager, was it? Yeah. How did the, how did the, both the, your colleagues around you, but also the senior manager deal with the fact that the star branch manager had bugged off. I was told we didn't necessarily have a meeting just for it, but it was brought up in a meeting. Anything that we're called out to that she's called out to do it for whatever fee you have to. And that didn't feel good. So I didn't. Okay. If I'd, if I'd have been called out for not dropping my fee to purely take her business and run her into the ground, I'd have been really told off. I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to see her. You being called out to valuations at this point. Yeah. I was promoted within six weeks of being in a sales and egg position. In the knowledge office, I then decided to relocate back to Peterborough and was then promoted to a list of six weeks. Can you remember your first valuation? Oh my god, yes. Do you get it? No. No. I went there with my area manager and I was shitting bricks the whole time. I thought I am wildly inexperienced and I don't know what I'm saying. Okay, but you're brighter bubbly. You can m'cross well. Yeah. Yeah, I won't mean that. I gave it a good swing, but I didn't lose it to anyone else. They never came to market. Right. So I would say you never lost it. Okay. That's the way I. It didn't come to market. But I'll never forget it. But you never lose. You never lose. How can you lose it? You never came on the market. Yeah, that's true. What did you love about being a valueer? The people, which probably sounds really cheesy, but especially when I started getting a bit better, which. I soon realized that it's actually just about listening to people. It's about going out and sitting in front of them and hearing their story and what their motivation is, where do they want to be? To them, they're not just selling a house, it's a transition. They're moving somewhere else to achieve something. And that was the part I latched on to rather than focusing on the transaction itself. It was, I can actually help somebody and it felt really good when you did. And I liked that. You know when you lose a listing? Yeah. The vast majority of valuers, it feels like a dagger through the heart. Sometimes, yeah. Definitely a lot more in the beginning. Does it still, how have you got mature enough to deal with that? In the beginning, there was so much pressure to get as many as possible. Do anything, negotiate your fee, put the overvalue it if you have to. You know, it's listing bonuses, isn't it? 100%. It was so driven, the financial side of it, you get your 60 or you're not equid, and you put that in your back pocket. But it was also the pride or versus the embarrassment of sitting in that office in the circle of people and having to say, I only got one or I didn't get anything. It was mortifying. So there was an element of desperation to get them. And when you didn't get it, it was, it was a big hit. Then it kind of transitioned to, it was more of a personal attack because people bought people. That's the, that's the one. And then I was like, what, what didn't they like about me? What could I have done differently to make them buy into me? It's a person. This is not interesting that we as valuers, you should have the same pleasure from gaining a listing, from the same displeasure of losing, but it isn't. You lose a listing and it's like a dagger to your heart. Yeah, it is bonkers. But over time, I have sat on enough sofas and have those discussions to know that different people want different things out of an agent. And I'm not going to be everyone's perfect match. It was at this point that your partner of no more than I think nine, ten, twelve months. X, wife, unfortunately committed suicide. Yeah. And you said to me before you switched the cameras on, there's been two aspects of my life that have toughened me up and made me realize that made me the person I am. Yeah, 100%. I'm the person to guess that if those two things had to happen and they're fucking awful things to happen, that you wouldn't be as good as you are today. Yeah, I would hand them a heart, agree with that. You know, you only become good through adversity. Yeah. Because correct me from wrong, but you were the evil stepmother. Definitely no, but yeah. And obviously, so you would have been looking after the kids every cup every other weekend, down to the domals, I think. And unfortunately, she committed suicide, which meant all of a sudden you became a mum overnight. Yeah. Was one hell of a short distance. You mean twenty six? What was that like? I have no idea what it would have been like. Complete shock. It actually took quite a lot of adjusting, not just logistically, but mentally. Because this is the time when you're becoming to the conclusion that you were wanting to go self-employed, right? It was just a tiny thought seed in the back of my mind because it was. It only well she had even gone at that point. Did you know she did? She was on maternity leave. No, she didn't know. So again, but it's all happening in the same. It was all happening in the same handful of months between the back end of 2020 and early 2021. The seed had sort of been popped into my mind. She wasn't coming back, but she was going to do this instead. I didn't even know it was a thing to start googling what is this, good looked up the company or the split and all that kind of stuff. And then I had a week's annual leave that was in the six weeks holidays, August 2020, taking the kids out on some days out. So it just opened up after the first lockdown? Yeah. Yeah, that's right. And as I said, this is the time when this unfortunately happened as well. So she took the start to start with. Yeah. When did things, and they never can settle down, can they? No, well, I had a call with the area manager and basically said, look, my whole life just turned upside down. I now have two grieving kids that need me there emotionally. I have school runs that I need to do now. I need to be a parent from having no kids to two kids and two kids that really need to do. And where were they living at this point? In Peter's still? No, we just moved to Christ Church, which is a tiny little village. It's basically a road in Caperchains, just at the road from March. And you were working in Peterborough? In the office of that point. Oh, you were at this point. So what's the distance between the two then? That's about 20 minutes. But all the sudden that means you have to bug off at the three of a car. Yeah. So what's the distance between the two kids at this point? Six and nine. Well, how did the area manager turn out? Don't want to mention names. I won't mention any names. Well, it was basically a, I had to beg for a couple of days compassionate leave, just so that we could organise funeral, go and collect the kids' stuff from their house. It was very, you'll be grateful for that, whatever you get. And then at first, there was a bit of leniency. I was allowed to have every other Friday, I could leave early. And every Tuesday, I could leave early to get the kids to the rest of it. I had to organise grandparents or get family to come and do school runs because I had commitments at work. And I was told I had four weeks. Did you part, no, the father worked away? He worked away. Yeah, yeah. So he wasn't, he wasn't around. He was, as soon as this happened, immediately started looking for local jobs. And within four months, did have a local job. But it's to not un-on-overnight thing to stop working away. So it was solely on my shoulders to be there. And it was, it was a stretch every single week to have grandparents come and help as and when. And I was told I had four weeks to solve my problem. It was then locked down again. There were no childminders. I also didn't really want to put them with a childminder. They were grieving kids. So I thought, right, well, you're literally pushing me out of the door. I said, I'm going to have to go and look for another job then because I can't, I can't do what you're asking of me. And they reply. They don't want me to go. But they wouldn't then. And they didn't want me to go because I was one of their top performing listers in the area. And. Again, they wanted me to do more and do more and do more. And they replaced the said branch manager with a new person who ended up going off on a long term six. So I was then managing that branch without the title, doing everything, doing multiple roles. For next and no money, no thanks, but higher expectations every single month. And they forced my hand. So then I revisited looking at the self-employed model and thought, well, I need to control my own day. Do you think if there'd been more empathetic or more understanding, it'd still be there? Probably. Probably. Yeah. Lesson learned. So you decided at this point that you might go down the self, might start your own agency. Yeah. And then there was a. Tell me the plan because when you told me, what I said didn't believe you, of course, I did. But I thought, well, that was weird. So what was the plan then? Go self-employed and. Plan literally from the beginning was to get pregnant. So I wanted to have a baby with my partner. You just a kind of adopted two kids. I know. I know. Absolutely bonkers. But I had always had this such a strong veins from my whole personality that I wanted to be a mum. Well, you came from a family of four. I know. Right. So it was kind of just part of part of life. And I was so excited to have have a baby. So I said to my partner, right, this is it. I'm going to go self-employed, but I'll start my business. I'm going to go out there and get all my listings. And at first, we agreed when I had one sale agreed, not completed Chris sale agreed. And we pushed it to two because I got two very close together. As soon as I had two sales agreed, that was it. We were going to start trying for a baby. And we did. How did that go? It was quick. Within four weeks, I was pregnant. And then it didn't end great. Go on. We got to our 20 week scan. I've got quite a full diary on skipping about. I had an appointment in the two two viewings of a bungalow. I'll never forget it in Ely. And it was on a Tuesday afternoon, a Friday apology was on a Friday afternoon. I had a two o'clock appointment at the hospital for my 20 week scan skipped in there. Happy as Larry with my now husband. And the doctors told me that she was gravely ill. She hadn't actually developed half of her brain. There was three really severe diagnosis. I didn't have any choice that although she was growing, she was moving, it was completely involuntary. And she wasn't going to make it. So at that point, they then sent me for further testing. I think that's what I was going to do. I had to ask that viewer, that I had to call the vendor, and ask her to do the viewings, which is deeply against my beliefs. But at that point, I was literally sat in a hospital, just told my daughter was gonna die. So I thought it was a pretty good reason to ask the vendor to do those viewings. So I'm just gonna reschedule them. She said, "Nets, fine, I'll do them." And then the next day I'm back doing viewings again, waiting for further testing, had the further testing. It was not good news. And I had my daughter at 22 weeks. She was passed away. - Well, support did you get from here? Was it husband or, had you married by this time? - No, we weren't married, we married last year. - Okay then, but okay. But you're along your partner. - Yeah. I mean, he's incredible. He is the most kind and gentle soul. And again, I wouldn't be the person I am here if he wasn't right here. - Is he your year? - Yeah, you know, 'cause you're like, I live by the seat of my pants. - 'Cause you're all over the place, I go like a zebra, like a Tasmanian devil. Is he calm and collected and keeps grounded? - Yeah, he's super organized, super calm. - I have to meet you. - A very, very structured. - How did you meet? - Through his ex, through both our listings. We used to work together a long time ago. - Well, my wife and I have not been blessed children. So I don't know what it's like, I have children or lose them. After getting past the initial grief and the anger, what have you learned about yourself since? 'Cause there is some good news here. You did end up having a. - I did. - Literally only a month after my daughter, Ila Ray passed, we then got pregnant again with my now three-year-old Asher. - Okay, so there is a good news story. - There is a good news story. - But I want to find out what you learned about yourself. - That I am fucking tenacious. In that really dark moment, where I was very lucky to have some friends that were part of the self-employed agency that I was with then. Because I started with a different employer to state agency and I had a couple of years experience with them and that was in this time. But there were two people that I still consider very good friends of mine that were also self-employed agents that recognized the dark place that I was in after losing Ila Ray. And they rallied. I had Miranda Menzies, came down. - She's been on the sofa? - She has indeed. She's a wonderful one. - You love her to men. - Yeah. - She came down from Kettering and hosted an open house for me. She did viewings. She took calls. Another good friend of mine, Katie King-Galanti. She's based in Sollyhole. She was shielding my emails and booking viewings for Miranda. As a self-employed agent, where they had no reason to help me, no financial gain. It was completely selfless, but they were both moms. That really got me through. - What would forget you're in a state agent for a second? - Yeah. - If there's any mums or dads going through this or in the future they might go through, what advice would you give to them in the moment and afterwards to help them? You know, you're never going to, yeah. You're child. Again, I said, I don't know what it's like. But what advice would you give to someone who's either going through this or might be going through this in the future? - I found being outside really weirdly healing. I started gardening. I don't really garden now. I'd never garden before. But I went out with a huge amount of mindfulness and bought plants that I could plant for her to create a little garden. And I just plowed all of my energy into keeping plants alive. And I suppose probably psychologically I was trying to find life elsewhere, but it was really healing. Being around family and friends can help, but a lot of the time they say the wrong thing that it mean to. But that. - Should people, again, should people mention it or not mention it? - Always mention it. I love talking about her. Sometimes even now people kind of try and skirt around it or don't mention her name. - So that's a big one. Because that's the majority of people watching this will not have. Well, thankfully not have to have gone through what you've gone through. Just keep the memory alive. - Yeah, hundreds of. Obviously sometimes it does make me upset, but typically when people ask me about it, my face comes alive. Like I love reminding myself that she existed. I do have a daughter. She's just waiting for me. - Yeah. - What advice would you give to men watching this? Because again, if you think about it, the other one unfortunately was carrying her. - Yeah. I don't think there's anywhere near enough validation given to how men are affected by this. I know that my husband sort of blocked it out for a while. - Because we're very good at that, men, oh. - Yeah, so you good. Just boxing it up, putting it away. And I remember we sat down and chatted because I said to him, "Do you care?" I thought, "You don't even seem bothered." And it took a while for him to kind of break down. And he was like, "Of course I care." Like she was my daughter too. But I have to be strong for you. If I'm not strong, then who's gonna bring me through? And he was amazing at that. But then it was nice to kind of see later down the line, occasionally he'd send me a message and say, "I just heard this song and it made me absolutely just break down. I just cried in the car for 10 minutes." And seeing that insight of vulnerability from him made me realize, of course he cares. And it was, it really brought us together, knowing that we were going through it, in different ways on different speeds, but we were still together. - Right, let's finish this part of your video now. So when did all that happen? What year did that happen? - So I'll arrive in 2022. - Okay, so now we're filming this in early 26. When did you kind of get back on the horse fully? I know you obviously had your second child. - Yeah, very quickly afterwards. - Okay, he's obviously got a super sperm by Sim. - Yeah. - He's a good one. - So obviously you assume that you were taking things a bit easy then. Were you just kind of not playing at it, but just? - Yeah. - I just took one listing in when my little boy was three months again. I also had amazing support. So from said branch manager who took the link before I did and went to work with David Lee, her name's Anna Smith. Again, still a close friend of mine. She now has a little boy, very similar age and we will have play dates together. It's really nice. She is still self-employed, still doing her own thing, and she helped me when I had my second child to have some sort of semblance of a maternity leave. 'Cause that's one thing with being self-employed that is really difficult. Having time off is damn near impossible. So she helped support my business and carried out viewings, had an admin team back me up so that I could have the first three months of his life being somewhat relaxed, which was incredible. I'm so grateful for that. And then after that I took one listing and then, month later, I took one more listing and I eaked myself back into it slowly. I definitely had a slow return to work and then all of a sudden it's like, bam, you're in it, back in the game. - So how many houses did you sell in 25? Let's go back to that. - In 2025, 27 houses. - Some would say that's not a lot. - Yeah, yeah, for sure. - What do you think you'll sell this year? - Probably maybe 10 more, maybe 38, 39, something like that. - What would you say to the detractors if I say, well, that's not enough? I'm not saying that. - No. - To me, that is perfect. It's actually quite an incredible feat. At that time, I have now got a lovely lady called Jay that works with me, but at that time I was just completely me on my own. So to get that many properties sold and completed and help. - So what you put it on, four or five a month and seven, two or three a month? - Yeah, although February was incredible. We're now on our eighth, although we're in March now. So tell a lie, seven. We had seven in February, which was amazing. But yeah, typically three, throw a four or a month, three sold a month. - You happy? - Sorry, happy. Yeah, I don't feel overworked. I don't feel like I have somebody screaming down my throat for targets. I feel like I'm living comfortably. I'm now able to help someone else live comfortably. It's just a completely different life. In every single aspect is different. Well, let's do some separate other videos, Lexi, where we talk about some of the topics we've talked about today in greater detail over value-wing targets, perfectionism, mum guilt. So let's go and have a look at those in those separate videos. Thank you for your time today. - Thank you. (upbeat music) [MUSIC]