Ms Peaches, Come Get This Rottweiler

Hey Slurs, welcome back to The Function. My name is Billy Dee Williams. And I'm Maya Angelou. And this is The Read. Thank you for joining us. It is, in fact, The Read. And thank you for joining us. It is towards the end of May now. Officially, oh God, it's about to be Pride Month. As if Pride Month wasn't already on fire. It is. I'm ready for Pride. I am. Let's start with this week's Black Excellence. I'm going to give this Black Excellence over to a 16-year-old named Connor Lamb of Denver, Colorado. He's an applicant for the Black Student Excellence Award, which is, I think, on its third year. And the reason that he is up for this recognition is because he's, first of all, a volunteer at Wings Over the Rockies Air and Space Museum. He is from a very small group of high-achieving, cadets. He says that he currently has a 4.2-weighted GPA, five AP classes. He earned the rank of Cadet Second Lieutenant, which is an accomplishment only about 13% of cadets achieve. He loves all things air, all things space. He was met in the museum by the state senator, James Coleman, who I believe is the one who created, created this award, this Black Student Excellence Award. So I got to see him with the senator in the museum, riding cool space shit and being incredibly smart. Connor says, "It makes me feel good because it's not only just me, but other kids that get this recognition. Having the opportunity for other people to see the work we put in, it's great to see." So shout out to you for being, I mean, wise beyond your years, don't even really cut it. You're over here, you know what I'm saying? Living. - Right. - Physics and science. 16, my God. - I can't imagine. Congratulations, young person. Job well done. - This week in the Hot Tops, where to begin? You know what? Why don't we end with something kind of nice this week? - Oh, yeah. That's a fun way to switch it up. - That's fuckery, I'll be lying. Meek Mill's pissed at Nike. They have, some new brand campaign, new set of products, alongside one LeBron James, and pieces are titled "Dreams and Nightmares." There's a "Dreams and Nightmares" t-shirt here that looks like a tour tee, in fact. In fact, at first glance, I would assume this was Meek Mill merch. I'm not even kidding. - Yeah, no, same. I would have too. - And they also have, I also have a sneaker here, that. - I'd wear, I wouldn't wear this. Okay, Nike Zoom LeBron 23 Luxe Dreams and Nightmares. Needless to say, Meek Mill's pissed. He said on Twitter, "So Nike just gonna take my whole brand "and mash it up with LeBron. "What is this? "Why wouldn't anybody holler at me about this? "I thought the sneaks was fake. "What's up with this?" Well, Meek and Mild, I agree. I simply agree. Someone brought up the question of whether or not he has trademarked that term. And in bringing it up, they were really saying he probably did. - You know he did. - Now, I believe in situations like that, you can, you can go and fight it. Like there are many, I think, courtrooms where they'll be like, "Okay, like Nike, girl please." - Right. - You know what I mean? Depending on what it is and like how it's received, people's, are people gonna look at this and think this person specifically? I think, lawyers in the chat, you can comment, kind of jump in here. But at the same time, he would be going to court with me. He would be going to court with me. - Right, right. - So I don't even know if it would be worth it. - Which, right, first of all, might not be worth it. Secondly, I know that trademarks are also, not a lawyer, but I do know that they're specific to industry. So the fact that Nike is selling tennis shoes and t-shirts and not music may also have something to do with like, whether this will hold up in court. I mean, my first thought was Meek Mill because nigga. - Yeah. - But I also see here that he just filed, they only, the record label just filed a trademark for "Dreams and Nightmares" eight days ago. And so it is shocking that "Dreams and Nightmares" has been the cultural phenomenon that it has for as long as it has. And somebody is only just now thinking, maybe we should trademark that phrase. Like, I don't know what took so long. I'm certain Nike ran a check before they decided to put this line out. So yeah, we'll see what the courts say when you go toe to toe with them attorneys over at Nike Inc. But yeah. - You know what the awesome thing about, I'm pretty sure his label is called "Dream Chasers." - Yep, yep. - And so there's no way that isn't on the document. You know what I mean? Like you can't, there, come on. - I mean, you would think. You would think. - You would think. - You would think, so. - So yeah, we'll see what happens. We'll see what happens with this. But I have a feeling that this could at least be a settlement. Like, you know, girls. - Yeah. - Some money, you know, black ass, just stop talking to us. 'Cause come on. - I could see that. - It looks like, this looks like a tier, ah, it looks like a tour tee. - I absolutely, without, you know, LeBron's face on it, which it's not that easy to tell that it's LeBron's face either, but I would have thought this was bootleg Meek Mill merch. - Uh-uh. - That somebody was selling outside of the stadium or whatever during his show. Like I 100% would have thought that. But I also know that like massive companies like Nike keep attorneys on payroll for a reason. And so. - They're not gonna do this if they. - You know, that's where I keep ending up. That like, Nike just not gonna put something like this out. - No. - Without the people having, you know, dotted their I's and crossed their T's. So it's looking like the label should have, should have trademarked Dreams and Nightmares a very long time ago. And I don't know why that didn't happen. I really don't know why that didn't happen. - And at the same time, Nike is fully playing in this man's face. - Oh yeah, absolutely. 'Cause what do LeBron James have to do with Dreams and Nightmares? - At all. - What was the reason? Like of all the things y'all could have called, you want to celebrate, you know, these different moments in his career, why Dreams and Nightmares? - I mean, I guess, but I just feel like y'all could have came up with some, like the creative team, marketing team could have came up with something else. So yeah, we'll let the judge figure it out. - They looked at that open legal pathway and said, "Tough." Sucks to be you, bitch. - It sucks to be you, bitch. Right? - Oh. - So Ray J got knocked out at a boxing game. He's been hospitalized since, yeah. He was at some MMA event, I guess, that seems to be hosted by Aiden Ross. So this is why I never, I didn't hear about it because why would I, you know? - Yeah. - So. - Oh, it came right up. Google said, "I know exactly what you want to see." - Yeah, he got his ass beat. - Damn. - They sent someone, they took him to the hospital. They're talking about his heart again. I've seen several people, I guess, supposedly in his inner circle who've said, "We told that nigga not to do this. "We told him not to go boxing, fighting, "or none of that stuff. "He just don't listen. "He hard at it." And that made me think of Brent, no, Monica, taking Ray J's phone from him, throwing it at him. - Oh, yeah. - Ray J, where are you at? Give me your phone. - I don't have any kind of impulse control. You ain't got sense. - Oh, Ray J. So, I didn't know he was hospitalized earlier this year for heart issues and pneumonia. - Yeah. - Did nobody make him pass a physical to be a part of this? I mean, are you not opening your-- - I'm a Republican five-year-old streamer. - Okay, I'm asking stupid questions, all right. It just seems like you're opening yourself up. - I wouldn't open myself up to get sued if this man gets seriously hurt as a result of this medically probably should have never even been a part of maybe the girls are playing serious games with fighting okay yeah like professional fighting is giving almost like politics where is like oh i was on love island money for fighting oh sure and then you get like a public defense version of a trainer right who and and you work with them for for eight weeks yeah and then you die right by somebody named super hot fire super yes yeah i'm like oh oh i actually i think i would uh he's a pro boxer either i mean i don't know but your name is super hot fire i'm not getting in the ring with you like i just i'm not gonna lie i've never heard ray j are you not a 45 year old father of like three why would you do this you're lying you're lying what what is jonathan major's uh boxing name that would be hilarious it actually would be oh wait what are we i feel like his name would be more like no it's not it is not hot fire is the nigga from this no it cannot be i actually i just googled him and it came right up and that's why i said there's no way it cannot be that kid from that video that's why i reacted like that oh wow it is 1000 the young man from this battle rap meme where everybody falls oh no that do look like his face no it's him no the internet be lying i will not i will not no i'm sorry i cannot fall for that oh no hot fire makes a living as an online content creator actor on social media real name deshawn raw deshawn raw this nigga from that meme babe and he beat ray j's ass and put him in the hospital fierce yet tmz posted a picture of ray j in the hospital yesterday and he don't look well i mean you in the hospital but it doesn't sound like he was well right which people's concern again why was there not a physical mandated for all of the participants in these in this box we had to do one for drunk history i don't know why the fuck you wouldn't have to do one for this okay well all right and when ray j this is the fucking big lots damn that nigga is not looking good oh hate to see i wonder how many people posted the meme of everybody falling out and grabbing his hoodie what in that yeah you know that meme is everywhere right it's it spans so many generations and seasons of our life i cannot believe that that's who this was i don't even remember the context for the original video i don't even remember why they would react like that but i don't remember oh it was a freestyle okay and he just says um they're going back and forth saying like funny roasting it's like a street freestyle parody got you and i'll never forget that scene where he i don't even remember what he says that makes everybody fall out on that moment but it's so iconic i've even seen like big corporations and animators have made versions of it it's it's very popular this is damn well and that little nigga from the video knocked you out damn right hospitalized you for days and they said they don't know when he getting out damn god damn nigga ray j please be careful i don't know when he getting out damn god damn nigga ray j please be careful i don't know when he getting out damn god damn nigga ray j please be careful like you don't i think that they're really also the payout for these things has to be like um irresistible it has to be good it because i mean i don't know what ray j doesn't get all of it on bandages there you go i don't know what ray j has spent his money on but i'm sure he hasn't spent it responsibly and maybe that's why he's always you know doing something goofy or silly or you know you know selling glasses that he claimed are unbreakable or whatever like he always doing some little annoying so yeah i guess i shouldn't be surprised that he did this i'm more shocked that they allowed him to do it because the just had heart issues why would you let him in the ring i wish i could say i was surprised yeah i saw aiden ross right surprised they both didn't just die in the in the ring and then everybody make a video about that oh sad right take a take some time off take a break you have children just right nobody wants to lose their daddy because he went and did some boxing match everybody told him not to do when he already seems to be having health issues right for what stop quick question when you google super hot fire does it also say on the top of google i'm not a rapper is there not because i see i'm not a rapper like um like the scrolling tape that at the bottom of it do you see that at the top above yes what is that i don't know i i've never seen that i guess you can customize your google search maybe you could pay google to have them do some like that when they google you i guess that was pretty smart of him because i've never seen that before and i was about to say what are you looking at and then it came right up on my screen so never mind this has to be a result of him beating rachel yeah yeah and then probably yeah having team contact google yeah no i'm not a rapper because that was my first guest no shade yeah i mean and the wikipedia says musical artists so i can see why but and the meme is them freestyling right so but i guess that was really important for you to clear up that you're not all right well whoever you are you you knocked ray j's ass right out this say less than 30 seconds yikes jesus oh ray monte what are you doing with yourself um okay so there's there are allegations that lil wayne is engaged that it's a secret and that the woman he's engaged to is in her 20s will wayne is 43. um again there isn't any specific proof no one has come forward and confirmed it at least not at the time of us recording this but i've seen this this report in a couple of different places today so i don't know who's chatting or if it's just a one of those wild wild rumors that you know high school students just make up and the next thing you know it's crossed our country's border is in sweden talking about what happened about wow um so yeah there really isn't that much i guess tmz reported it first but no one's confirmed and that is about it obviously wayne got i'm gonna get four kids four women yeah i think yeah i'm not yeah okay reginae lauren nivia and and i can't remember the other girl's sarah i think the other girl's name is sarah vivian or something okay um but yeah his entire love life has been in the streets since as far as back as i can remember right he loves placing him in the streets and uh yeah he could be engaged to someone nearly 20 years younger than him so well i mean i wouldn't be shocked it is lil wayne and this is also not the first time he's been engaged and then didn't get married so oh i don't see he's not gonna get married so you being engaged don't mean too much because you you've done this a few times with nivia and that other girl you was with so yeah all right good for y'all i think there were trina rumors too oh yes married way back yeah yeah see so i was invested in that i bet you were that was all because i was almost your stepdad almost our stepdad um man young money i don't know what you could be engaged to a baby uh tanya over there talking about thank you elon for everything you've done for humanity what is that who said what anika no she did on yeesh marriage went down to spacex oh god oh my god she really did thank you for all that you do for humanity it's just like be specific what exactly has he done for humanity that was like a net positive and speak quickly listen much like her president freestyling whatever comes out like yeah that's word that's bond oh my god because i show up you pay me this is this is the season of america's wide open thievery and grifting what um it's not it's not you know underhanded it's not under a rug you know what i'm saying the president is out here suing his government settling the lawsuit giving money and then giving it right right okay we can't vote so major shout out to elon elon this can't be real please tell me this is ai oh nika pulls up in that pink cyber truck okay right right don't be shocked when she pulls up are you happier really girl do you really feel like this was the move for your life for your career like okay i don't think she's okay anyway anyway yes between you and wayne and and drake young money so did you finally press play i pressed play you did okay good enough i have i have i have not even gonna promise i will okay um but i did listen to um i almost said hour of maidens what i listened to maid of honor okay hate hated that hated that whole phase really set me up for what i thought was like oh this is gonna be fun and cute and you know girly butch queen drake hated it bickable yeah and i feel like a lot of it was very weekend coded did you say that i don't feel like you said that last did i maybe no i may have or i may have been quoting somebody else i'm not sure it sounded very weekend ish to me a lot of the songs and i don't care for his music as i've said before but even the ones that didn't remind me of him i was like oh god i have so many other things i could be doing uh but i listened to all of it didn't like it ice man i actually did like okay now what i had to do to really kind of get through it and try to appreciate it for what it was is i had to okay i imagined myself an alien i've never heard of these people i don't know what this nigga is really talking about okay i have no confidence for the whining so that allowed me to kind of to a get through it yeah and b not roll my eyes out of my head every time he said something cringe or off base or tone deaf or you know walked into a trap okay because that that like bay area shit that he tried to do all right why would you do that why would you run to atlanta and then name the song run to atlanta it's like was he trolling was he trolling like like kendrick with that toronto accent that he had that right so maybe this this was your way of doing that but you know maybe it's just the light skin and the jewish mom hmm that people don't want to see him on top of the mountain look i heard him say some shit about the judge uh being racist i heard him say some other shit about racist yes i heard him say some other shit about but but aren't they both black and so then okay he said some other shit about uh about being black or blackness too that i was like girl okay next bar but yeah overall when i lived in my fantasy of being black i was like oh my god i'm not in a fantasy of never having heard of this i was like this sounds good i liked a lot of the toned okay down production i like that i'm just kind of hearing him rap hearing him be very poetic again um i loved a lot of the beats the bops to me were boppier than a maid of honor it's just when i really sat and listened to so many shit he was saying it was like oh girl build up reach oh yeah i had to zoom out for a bit but i actually liked it i'd listen to a lot of those songs again okay maid of honor though pluck her out gavage okay couldn't stand it okay i skipped every song that said sexy right on it you can know that tonight well that's and you know i'm the last one to blame you for that um i like how you said i had to sit here and completely divorce this album from everything that has happened to drake in the past five years yeah i wasn't making it through otherwise in order to kind of like the songs be like this is boppish like okay okay no yeah this um i i like i said last week i was not impressed this three albums really could have been half of an album like it really feels like you're just trying to hurry up and get away from these people and yeah you know at least when rihanna did that she still gave us quality like she put out an album every year yes but they were good albums they were good they weren't she wasn't just shitting something out drake this yeah yeah it was a chop but yeah at least you have at least it could have been ice man i'd put a whole phase on ice man somewhere okay and then maybe a sprinkle of those of other songs from the two albums could have been like a deluxe you know how the girls are dropping an album oh yeah a year later they're like here's the deluxe version with yeah tamo songs yeah you could have three albums right with my attention disorder am i not giving a fuck about your art right and drake's music getting worse and worse as he ages like if it was three great albums i would still be listening to it thank you or at least say it out loud you feel me right were the ones i like let me see like i said i liked i think one song on that other one on uh maid of honor yeah okay the first one you were so disgusted it sucks and i honestly hate the like i hate the use of uh like a sound bite of women talking about anything you're like i hate women especially when rappers do this yeah where it's like a voiceover for a woman being like what time we going to the club because you know such and such is out tonight right oh yeah and i got my my tampon in or i took my my plan b whatever it's just like what does this have a lot of people do it i don't care for it right if you're gonna do something like that at least put your voice in it too give me an interview i don't care for it yeah okay the art of the interlude has been lost yeah like like how sZA did on control i liked i like the way sZA used yes spoken not spoken word but the the spoken voice you know yeah her granny or her mama or whoever and you know them having a phone conversation and it tying the songs together it also you know made the album a cohesive unit whereas again drake is just doing shit yeah i mean i feel like the first one i guess i could sort of see the connection with ho phase because i believe it's a woman sounds like she's talking to her mother and her mother is telling her to like settle down or something like you've been in the streets for long enough i want some grandbabies right and then it's like ho phase okay but then there were a couple others i'm like we could have just as long as i made long enough well i don't remember a lot of these i think i like whisper my name love manish on the beat shebang love that oh yeah hilarious that one's fun that one made me laugh uh i think i like make them pay i like plot twist honestly i'd have to play some of these again yeah same because it's been over a week for me so i'm like oh yeah that out it was very forgettable like the i and i knew from the beginning the ones that are good or catchy the children will just pull them and put it on tiktok and i'll hear it again the rest of them will fade forever yeah that's what my homeboy said this weekend because we i went to my friend's event on sunday and they were playing one of the songs and he was like see i'm not gonna play on it but i know it'll come to me like yeah i'll probably go out or be right now here the ones worth listening to and i was like yeah you're not lying sir every time but you know pat on my own back i was able to sit still and listen to about two hours of drake i did it for you and um i honestly didn't hate as much of it as i thought i did i hated that first time well right you didn't even play the third one see you might have hated a lot more of it you know what yep you did what you could handle so i did what i could handle but i didn't know what to do with it i didn't know what to do with it i didn't know love you below zero and that is fair it was giving like youngest child or like middle drake the this the album or okay the album itself yeah okay even made of honor it was a lot of like you know everybody hate me and I don't have no friends I told you and all you bitches is mad because it's me yeah and on three albums all of them okay oh but shout out to the doll I guess she's you know she's got another number one I think her fifth fifteenth or something so she's she's yet here Christopher Brown has received an honorary doctorate from a place called Harvest Christian University all right now no word if Cheyenne Bryant went to this particular school that is exactly the institution that gave her an honorary PhD yes indeed it was yes indeed oh yeah Harvest Christian gave a lot of people honorary PhDs including Sheree Whitfield Andrew Caldwell Carl Anthony Payne better known to fans of Martin Cole that's Cole it was on the tip of my tongue so yeah Harvest Christian is not a real school it's a diploma mill and they give out these degrees or you can apply for one or pay for one whatever it is like they're not even a real school they're not accredited and yeah so they gave Chris Brown one because why not he went and he took it and he's like oh they all do they all go put on the robes and everything Sheree posed in her robe and okay upon the recommendation of the university faculty see this is where you lost me upon the recommendation of the university faculty yeah okay so it's legitimately all your fault the authorities of this institution the president and the trustees Harvest Christian University hereby confers upon uh bruises who has fulfilled all the requirements the degree of doctorate of philosophy in visual and performing art yeah yeah they gave him that did you see his instagram the the instagram caption where he said I did a thing nigga no you did not oh my god why would you even let these people play in your face like this oh my god the big the big honor I can you know I don't speak latin but honoris causa that big right there underneath it that means honorary degree meaning you did not actually do any work for this degree and we gave you this because we felt like it yeah and it's people in the comments talking about dr breezy oh my god you niggas oh god I think I hate everybody yeah like and that's fair this is stupid but I also think giving people an honorary doctor doctorate is kind of I'll just say it's confusing my the first word I was gonna use was stupid but I'm gonna say that I think it's confusing I don't have no college degree from nowhere like I so this is not me gatekeeping I'm not by the gate right nothing to do with me okay however I've I've found it on that you can give like an honorary doctorate well why not just give them like an achievement award or something I mean and that's essentially what it is like it's an award like any other award it's you know but but also I think historically they've been reserved for people who are actually there you go you know worthy you know yeah yeah I think that makes sense you got it so but also it's always just been it's always been like any award or plaque or something like that you know you cannot go get a job with this degree you it it means nothing you did nothing to receive that piece of paper and it is literally just a piece of paper you could ask chat GPT to make you one and it would carry the exact same weight it means nothing so I'm shocked at the thousands and it's over a hundred thousand comments on Chris Brown's Instagram calling him Dr. Breezy and Dr. Brown and somebody said oh that man got his master's degree moving in silence like it don't say doctor of philosophy big as day and you know I it's not that I expect Chris Brown friends to be you know well it's that's what a PhD is is a doctor of philosophy but um yeah he just there was no work done here this is not an achievement Chris Brown didn't do anything to deserve a PhD he did not earn a PhD um and obviously I don't have one honorary or real um so I let most of the people who want to argue about it you know I'll leave that up to the PhDs but to me it's always just been an award like it's just it doesn't you you can't go get a job or you know you can't go get a you can't go teach or run a research lab or whatever else with this degree like it is especially from Harvest Christian University like it is less than nothing I could print you out a PhD right now if that's what you wanted I'm so confused like why not just call it an achievement in what is it visual and performing arts yeah well because like a degree well see this is and this is what is so interesting to me is that like the same people who talk about degrees don't mean nothing and you might as well get a job you waste two years in school learning basic stuff anyway be the same people to turn around and applaud somebody for getting an honorary PhD so it's like that really don't make a whole lot of sense but yeah I mean I just this this is also the problem with degree mills schools and that's heavy air quotes like Harvest Christian University they give out these honorary PhDs to mid-ass celebrities so that regular degular people will turn around and pay ridiculous prices to also get themselves some kind of degree that is also going to be meaningless but y'all don't care because you you need a degree for a job or whatever else like for this is basically them this whole graduation with these other model niggas on stage that are also not really getting a degree that is all just a big advertisement trying to get other susceptible people to enroll at this online only private Christian school in Dallas and then eventually get themselves a worthless ass degree so you know it don't mean nothing to me I don't understand why you so proud of it like I but but you also don't know much about school or achievement so I guess that does explain why you would be so proud of it they must have a course that's called like how to get away with abuse okay I mean that's another thing why would a Christian school be awarding Chris Brown anything what about Chris Brown's behavior is even remotely Christ-like that's why I said let me look into this school and then somebody had posted on threads all these different celebrities who've gotten honorary PhDs and Cheyenne Bryant was one of them and I said okay I know what we're dealing with now and yikes Kevin Hart is basically defending comedians right to cross the line during a roast when talking on the breakfast club about what's his name Tony Henshcliffe yeah about his George Floyd joke he said to the Tony told a joke it wasn't a tasteful joke to us we didn't like it we move on I don't understand why we stand on a hill and it becomes this big thing it doesn't have to be that it literally is either a fan of this level of content or you're not and if you're not a fan then you don't watch it what I tell these jokes no but I do get why they're being told in reference to Pete Davidson making a Charlie Kirk joke which I wouldn't even girl the fact that y'all acting like that's the same thing why would you even so are you out of touch oh that's not even a question no more yeah I'm not looking at Pete crazy I'm not looking at Tony crazy I know what we're going to do I know your style of comedy he said he wouldn't expect anything less of Tony or anything more um and I mean it from what I have heard it sounds like there was lots of people at this role so we don't give a fuck about you I respect you and are kind of there for the key key the payment and the uh yeah the capitalization um yep he also eventually just said you know essentially i didn't tell the joke i didn't say it so why y'all mad at me get mad at me oh thoughts well you know he brought up tom brady and was like you know they was making racial jokes at tom brady's roast too and when tom brady felt like things went too far he got up there and told that man hey don't say that shit no more and it wasn't even a racial joke that he said that about but like kevin hart at no point went up to anybody and said hey you doing too much or you know that's a step too far or whatever else and he made the argument that you know there was jokes made about his dead parents and um you know that's just how roasts do and it's like but yes this was the roast of kevin hart exactly this was not the roast of george floyd exactly so why is george floyd even being brought to have a white man say that okay so any so so when he said that as all i heard was whatever noises raccoon makes just little scurrying just little yeah just little nasty little rabies and and disgusting little things raccoons don't deserve all well they they carry the rabies they just do yeah and kevin hart is a grade a coon that is a 100 through and through i have made too much money and i don't give a fuck about niggas no more coon like it don't you cannot find a pure example of a coon than kevin hart nigga do you have zero morals do is is does anything matter to you like i just don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't see how white people can get up here and say something like that about george floyd and then um what's her name lauren la rosa was talking yes and she was like well you know i was gonna bring that up we talked to him to george floyd's brother and he was saying you know it was a little weird kevin like i would think you would speak up and say something he just like well i mean it's jokes it's a roast that's what people do okay so you don't stand for nothing then so you don't stand for nothing then just say that i didn't like when because lauren said did you see my interview with george floyd's brother yeah and he was like no no shot to you but like i'm never gonna watch that i'm just letting you know i'm i'm never gonna look at that right i know whatever whatever and that little bit dragged out a little too long yep yep it did and charlamagne is over there cracking up and i'm like we're talking do you know who george floyd is why are you yeah and this and lauren then went on to say that like he was a fan of yours right right the brother right and just expressed how he felt or whatever they just felt so thrown away so girl yeah i didn't like that and i don't care for the excuse right as a comedian i i feel like everyone even at a roast outside of a roast has to have a line and that doesn't mean you don't tell a joke about any given thing i think anything could be funny but it's who it comes out of and how it comes out right for instance there are some comedians who don't relate to the comedy they don't relate to the comedy they don't tell quote unquote edgy jokes at all that are still fucking hilarious nate bargetti i like that white man um and then there are why are you laughing because i said nate bargetti and you was like anyway i like him i'm sorry i think he's so funny i didn't want to forget i didn't but yeah like you have some that are quite edgy that would probably everyone has their own moral compass everyone has their line yeah right right and i think like you kind of hit the nail on the head for me in a few ways one this isn't like first it's not a george floyd roast it's a kevin yes making fun of your dad mama and your dad daddy is absolutely something that i would expect to happen at a roast right and i would not be shocked if i felt some type of way about that or if i was with someone or near someone who lost their mind i would not be shocked if i felt some type of way about that or if i was a parent who also felt some type of way about that but the person up there is not saying hey you in the third row isn't it fierce that your mama's dead like that's not right what's happening right and this is a roast that is that is being being made into a public entertainment program for people all over the world to watch to consume yeah so it's not just some private roads that you had in your backyard ain't nobody gonna hear these damn jokes right that means that there has to be some form of accountability for you to be a part of that responsibility and responsibility for everyone who's going to watch this and feel some type of way and not just go well that's what a roast is if you don't like it don't watch it that doesn't make any damn sense what if you don't know what a roast is or you've never watched a roast but you like kevin hart right what it's not like there was some warning before it happened like we're gonna make a joke about george floyd even though you don't have shit to do with this event so if you don't want to see that then cut it off like you had to watch it to know that it was gonna be offensive in that way so what are the not even that like i again i think roasts are supposed to shock you they're supposed to make you uncomfortable it's supposed to be a playground where you can sort of just say some wild wild shit but i don't i have never cared for the idea that because this is a roast i can say whatever the fuck i want to and you have to just eat it because it's a roast right i've always thought that is an incredibly lazy excuse for horrible people to say that i don't know what a roast is horrible things or to show that they're horrible and it is it doesn't surprise me that it came out of this white man's mouth because he's terrible he genuinely sucks which is why i'm not surprised that kevin even said he wouldn't expect anything less but so then who is this bitch to you right and i it reminded me of this joke that whoopi goldberg told once on i want to say this was a stand-up special on bravo i'm not even in college when this came out it was a long ass time ago but she told this joke about a baby angel a black baby angel have you heard this joke before because i don't think she was the first one to tell it so first of all she prefaced the joke by saying this is an offensive joke oh okay i want for us to think about this to unpack like she kind of gave like a light disclaimer ahead of it okay because the rest of the stand-up was from what i remember was pretty pg pg 13 gotcha but she was like ending the special with saying i'm gonna say some some shit right now that is offensive and then let's talk about it real quick so the joke is little black baby angels in heaven he's excited as shit i'm paraphrasing and obviously he's you know excited shit he's flying around he's just so thrilled he sees god coming over a hill he goes up to god and says you uh hey god god says hey he says god since i got these these wings and i'm here in heaven does that mean i'm an angel and god says no nigga you a bat and i thought i didn't i don't remember i think i did laugh when i first heard that joke because i got it god is just being like he's roasting you oh he said but there's like i didn't get it i think a sorry i didn't like are you an angel the way that i received it the first time i heard it was like god does this mean that i'm an angel since i'm in heaven or there he's like no you a bat nigga like however she says the joke she takes a swig of water the room is mixed oh you a bat bats what did you think i thought you said you were bad no okay oh so god was like making fun of you like what you think you are okay no i got it okay and so i thought the joke was funny because it was like the end of the special but what i loved about is that after she told the joke she drinks the water most of the people in the room are laughing it's white people in the room black people in the room everybody yeah after it calms down a bit she says now if you thought that joke was funny i want you to ask yourself why and that was kind of the end of it and i think that what she was trying to say because she knows it's black white people in his room and they're laughing why do you think that's funny are you no not you but i think i would love to answer that the point is like why do you yeah think that is funny why don't you think that is funny yeah it doesn't have to just be oh someone said this offensive joke right full stop that was fierce right every joke jokes have reasons they have um they mostly have truth to them They have roots back to a foundation of something. If you laughed at this joke, especially if you wouldn't get it otherwise. It's outside of your race, your culture, your background. Why'd you think it was so funny? Kevin Hart laughed at this George Floyd joke when it was told, why was it funny? Well, I mean, and honestly, the whoopee joke, I guess it's, you know, it kind of could be the baby angel could be. Any race, really, it's just God saying, nigga, that is like, OK, it's a black baby. But like the to me, it's like, OK, I, I can take something like that, a setup like that and punch a punchline like that and laugh at it. Because the idea that in all knowing I'm the present God is like, no, nigga, you were bad. That's why you were like, that's that is hilarious to me that somebody that we view is so serious would talk to you like that. Like, that's funny. But also, no, nigga, you are. That God is black, you know, he's not. So without even saying that connection, right, the way that the punchline is delivered, right, gives black guy is like, come on, nigga. Right. If you'll get out of my face, this is what you stopped me for. Stupid ass questions your first day. But you and I could probably arrive at that. Right. You know, meaning very easily. Yeah. The rest of you bitches who in this room laughing. Why did you think it was funny? What was funny about that? I don't know. Something about this situation made me think of that. Like, you laughed. A whole bunch of people in that room laughed. Yeah. And sometimes we laugh at things automatically and then we feel bad. Like, oh, my God. Yeah. Shocking things. Yes. And so that could be that is I'm sure for somebody in that room, that was true. But I think you again, like you said, you really have to ask yourself, what is it about a man who was murdered by police? How is a joke about that person who has nothing to do with tonight's event, you know, looking up at us, insinuating that he's in hell for some reason? A black man murdered by the police, by the way, like, just want to reinforce that point. Like, what is funny about that? Because I was immediately disgusted. But I want to know why you, Kevin Hart, not only thought it was funny, but then came on The Breakfast Club to defend this man's right to say it. Like, we all know we know what a roast is. Like, it's it's just that. Right. There is a such thing as going too far for no fucking reason. It was a reach to make a joke about George Floyd, who, again, had fuck all to do with the evening. And George Floyd was not even kin to Kevin Hart. You just wanted to say something risque, something that would piss people off. Exactly. Like you didn't. So, yeah, we have lots of issues. But you, Kevin Hart, coming up here and being like, well, that's just a roast. And they made fun of my dad, my man, daddy. So what you really going to do? It's about you. Bitch, if they supposed to make fun of you. Time of everybody's talking about how short I am and all this. Yes, it's the role of Kevin Hart in a bottle. That's a funny nigga because you're small and it's a joke about you. And it's like Kevin Hart. Nigga, just say you don't care about nothing but the money and go. I've been knowing this about Kevin Hart. This changes nothing about my opinion of Kevin. Kevin Hart, because it's been obvious for a long time. He don't give a shit about nothing but dollar bills. But wow. Wow. I'm going to go front. I was a little bummed out only because I guess he hasn't really gotten on my nerves in a while that I can think of. So this was like, oh, yeah, great. I forgot. Here you go. Yeah. Here you go. Welcome back. Oh, let's end with the link up. We knew we needed. And we're going to end with the link up. We're glad has happened. Houston Hottie, Solange, and Megan having the time of their life on the open seas, vibing, dancing, blacking, and beautifully. Oh, man. Oh, I've never been so jealous. I have never been so jealous. Oh, my God. Can you imagine the vibes? Oh, I just, please. I would literally drive the boat. I would literally. Just call me next time. I just want to be around. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. I know it was just smoking J's and cackling and talking shit. I really love this for Meg. I feel like, you know, Solange Wynn did some healing shit with her in the water. I saw a bunch of people being like, they either gave, you know, like sacrifices to the water or offerings and gifts to the water or they was out there fucking. And I'm like, either way. Why couldn't they do all of them? Either way, I don't care. Like, they are so, the picture that Solange took of Meg and then the one that Meg took of Solange and they just look so happy and like they having so much fun. And yeah, Meg looks so good. And I just, I hate Klay Thompson. I really hate Klay Thompson. You broke her heart, but she is going to be all right. My bitch is going to be all right. She does. I saw a clip that she posted today for. I think it was Nick's Cosmetics. She's doing something with Swim Wee. Did you see that clip? Did you see that dress? Did you see that body? Megan, Megan, can any of us like, please? My nigga is on this app. God damn. Soaked. She is so fine. She is so fine. That dress looked like somebody had literally just poured it on her and it just was clinging all over the place. You know, it's supposed to. She's obviously supposed to look wet, but it's just. Oh, my God. Delicious. That girl is juicy. Oh, Jesus Christ. It's insane how good she looks. Well, I'm just happy to see her with a big old smile on her face and her at tongue out with another Houston icon. It's very nice to see the, you know, our sister's love on each other. It is. And call upon one another and be like, you know what? Fuck everybody and their grandma. Yeah. Let's just like. Yeah. Let's me and you link up. And let's, yeah, do some healing backstrokes in the waters off the coast of whatever African country or some shit. Yeah. I'm just like. They look so happy. This is very sweet. Yeah. I saw Solange responded to a comment of somebody who was like, Solange always looks like she on vacation. And I love that for her. She was like, no, I just moved out into the wilderness by the rivers and oceans and trees and shit. So it looked like I'm on vacation. That's just because I'm out in nature, bitch. I'll be right back home later today. But yes, I do. I this is exactly the sort of community like time with black women and, you know, crying about niggas and let's go swimming and smoke some weed and just have fun and be together. Like I was hoping Meg had genuine people like that in her life. And so, I mean, what the rest of these little rap. Hoes may be wishy washy and funny acting, but Solange don't have nothing to prove to nobody. And I can't imagine her ever switching up on Meg for any reason. So I'm really glad to see that for her. Really am. Oh, yeah. Real quick. I also wanted to mention speaking of H-Town icons and things I saw. I don't know if she was at the AMAs, but Mona Leo was just on a red carpet for something. And she had her grill on. She often spoke sports, a grill. Yeah, I love them, obviously, but you know where I'm from. So I guess maybe she's been getting some critiques of it or always wearing them or something, something, something. And she posted a comment that was like, Beyonce told me that she loves when I pair my grill with a gown. So the girl stays up. And I was like, absolutely. I couldn't agree. Right. Anymore. Like, I already thought that. But yeah. Everyone would have to hold your ovary. Yep. If. If that was the case, class my booty cheeks and stay pissed. Like, I already liked it for myself. I was already going to do it anyway. But then Beyonce being like, I love when you do high couture and a grill in your mouth, bitch. Good luck getting me to take this out for any public appearance ever the fuck again. Beyonce just co-signed my shit. I'm going to always have it on. So, yeah. Good for her. Love her. Did you see my dad at the AMAs? Of course, I saw her. Oh, I love her. Yes. Yeah. Along with my little stepbrother and my stepmommy, Ebony. They just, they're so happy. And I just, God, I love this for Queen Latifah so, so much. I just love that she did it her way. What an icon. Me too. Because, you know, the, the Scooter era. I always thought Scooter was she. In fact, I thought Scooter was fine. But I'm, I'm happy for today. And that her vibe is always like, girl, like when talked about it, when talking about it or questioned about it or whatever, she's always like, girl, it's not that big of a deal. I mean, what was there to talk about? What was there? She was on with Angie Martinez and Angie was like, you know, the whole thing. Right. And she was like, girl, it doesn't talk about it. It is what it is. It's just my life, you know? I never felt no need to talk about nothing because I'm that girl. And it just was going to be what it was going to be. I'm like, oh, I'm obsessed with her. I love her so much. Yeah, fierce. Yeah. Okay, folks, let's take a break. We'll come back with your letters. We are back, folks. It's time for your listener letters. Yes, it is. Send your questions to asktheread at Jomel. Asktheread. Jomel Hill. At gmail.com. We may just read them aloud on the show. All right. Oh, well, here's one for a kid. Fury from Lydia who said, ever since Venezuela Fury got married at age 16 just two weeks ago, I've gone down the Tyson Fury rabbit hole to learn more about the Gypsy King and his family. I just completed their show on Netflix and wanted to know, since your handle includes the word Fury, and you've already expressed that you're such a big fan. Are you a fan of boxing and MMA? Are you a fan of Tyson Fury? Have you watched his series? I think it's so commendable how open he is about mental health. Love you both. Keep doing a great job. Thanks, Lydia. Thanks, Lydia, for asking. Am I a fan of Tyson Fury? No. Have I watched his series? Will I watch his series? No. No. Okay. Shout out to you for enjoying him. I didn't know he had a daughter that he allowed to get married at age 16, but I guess so. I guess. That seems wild, but okay. His brother's also a boxer that was on, like, Perfect Match or some shit. I think he was on Love Island, actually. Oh, wow. Yeah. Okay. His brother's very pretty, Tommy, but. Not a fan. Not a fan of either one of them. Gotcha. But he's, like, Tyson Fury is a mega icon. Like, he's. Yeah, even I know that name. a famous boxer. Yeah. So. Not. Because y'all share a name. Yeah, they was like, that's your internet daddy? Are you a big fan? His last name is actually Fury. Right. Right. I'm using a stage name. Yeah. Okay. Our next question comes from Troy, who says, Hey, Kiff, you're in Crystal. I'm seven months pregnant, a mother of a toddler, and I work full time. My husband also works 12-hour shifts six days a week, and he coaches basketball. Some evenings and on the weekends, which means I'm often taking care of our home by myself. My sister-in-law texted me asking if I could watch her and my brother's dog for eight days while they go on vacation next month. Now, in the past, I have dogs sat for them, despite the fact that I am slightly allergic, and I don't really care for dogs, usually for two or three days max. But this time, it's much different. My brother's dog is almost 13 years old and is actively dying. She has multiple tumors in her hips, paws, and shoulders. Her hips regularly give out, which requires both my brother and sister-in-law together to physically have to pick her up because she is a huge dog. Last time we dog sat, she threw up on my couch and carpet, and I thought she was not even going to make it through the weekend. Even though she's my puppy niece, I can't handle the thought of her dying on my watch. On top of everything else, I also explained to my sister-in-law that my husband's mother, as well as her daughter and dog, are staying with us for a few days during that time frame. That is already going to be, a house full of people. My brother and sister-in-law's trip is in a month, and at that point, I'll be eight months pregnant, and I cannot handle all of that at once. I would not even be able to lift the dog in case of an emergency. I currently can't even pick up my own toddler. My sister-in-law responded to my text message very dryly, and I sense an attitude. She is the type to hold grudges and. I sense an attitude? I sense, sense. And I sense an attitude. Okay. She's the type to hold grudges and keep her kids away when she doesn't get them. But I don't think I'm being irrational at all. My brother doesn't like to get involved in the drama that his wife creates. But do you think this is worth bringing up to him? Am I tripping? I know you both are dog owners, and your dogs are your babies, so I would like to hear from people who have that perspective. My dog and I are. My dog. My husband and I are not pet people, so I don't know if I'm being mean because I'm pregnant or if she's really being entitled. I know doggy daycare can be expensive, so I do understand why she asked. They also don't have anyone else to help since her family doesn't live here, and my mother would rather chew denim than allow an animal in her home. Chew denim is one of my favorite. It's like one of my favorite sayings. It's so funny. You get it. Yeah. It's funny. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks, Troy. Well, Troy. Love this. Mm-mm-mm. Well, this one makes me feel a way because Link will be 11 in October. Wow. And, yeah, I can't even think about that, talk about that, just understand that you're not going to hear from me for a while. Right, right. There's that. Completely understand that. So, one, I get that. I think that you probably. Not probably. You definitely should have been placing boundaries around this a while ago because you're not a fan of dogs and you have a dog. You have an allergy. Right. So, this shouldn't have been, like, a recurring thing in the first place. Yeah. You also pregnant. You have a kid. Mm-hmm. You have a man in house and then a. Is it a husband's mother? Right, so then. Is it his husband's. The mother-in-law and a sister-in-law and a dog are all coming to stay at that same time, too. So, it's like you have a house full. Animals. Right. Pregnant. Yep. Just, I think, a recipe for destruction. And I think I've said this before. When you're dealing with a pregnant person, be the village. Like. For real. For real. Be the village. Yeah. It is. It is. It's 2012, the movie. It's the day after tomorrow in people's body. I am legend. In the body. Silly. Adding stress? Acting. Having to sense an attitude from a bitch? Yeah. Weird. I would definitely be speaking to my brother about this because even if you weren't pregnant, you'd be well within your right of being like, no, don't bring her half-dead ass over here. I don't want to deal with it. I am allergic. I don't like dogs. And on top of that, it makes me very sad. I'm worried that she might die while I have her. Right, right. That would be enough. It really would. If I hadn't have considered it for some wild reason before that, I'm just outside. That thought enough would be like, I also don't want my dog to die over at my sister-in-law's. Right. Right. Mm-hmm. Yes. The answer's no. Um, so I, Troy, as a dog mom, if Lainey was on death's door, I wouldn't be going nowhere. There's that. Any trip, any vacation can fucking wait. I'm going to be with my baby. I'm not even risking Lainey dying away from me. Are you fucking kidding? Like, no. So first of all, no. I would not have even asked you to. No. Secondly, but to the greater point, the point of like, you felt like your sister-in-law was being dry and should you bring it up? I wouldn't for a few reasons. First of all, she's allowed to ask. You're allowed to say no. Both of those things happen. True. True. It's possible that she was being dry with you or that she's disappointed or upset. It's also possible that you just read into that. But I think either way, though, either way, she's, I'm, I'm not, I'm not going to be upset because you're upset, basically. Like, if you are disappointed, that I said, no, I'm not going to watch your half-dead, 90-pound dog for eight goddamn days, then you can just be upset about that. If it gets to the point where you're like, now the nieces and nephews can't come over, now you don't want to spend Fourth of July with us or whatever because you feeling petty or whatever. Like, if it gets to the point of her talking shit about y'all or her actually, you know, behaving poorly, then I think I would bring it up. But otherwise, it's just like, yeah, I texted Claudia that I could not watch, you know, Clifford, the giant fucking dog. And, and she was just like, okay, THX or whatever. And I was like, okay, I'm just going to let you have that. Like, you can just have that. That's fine. I mean, and I, it's so funny because I think it legit started off as shorthand and now it's basically like code for I'm being passive-aggressive and this is not really a thanks. Right. And also, isn't THX like a sound thing? Is it like a sound system in theaters? Oh, it might be. Or TRX? I feel like when you hear that. Yeah. That. Yep. I know exactly what you're talking about. Is that TRX? I don't know. I don't know. But I wouldn't necessarily bring it up unless she decided to start acting stank because it could just be me reading into it. She sounds, you know, your sister-in-law also sounds like she has a full house and a lot going on. So she might have just been texting in a hurry. We don't have enough information here, I think, to say definitively that she was trying to be a bitch about it, so. I would wait till she was being a bitch about it. But like, girl, this is the responsibility of having a dog. Unfortunately, if you don't have somebody to watch her for free, then you're going to have to take her to doggie daycare. And if she's on death's door, doggie daycare not going to take her either. Word. Nobody wants to have your dog die in their custody, bitch. Literally nobody. Cancel your fucking trip and stay home with your dog. The fuck? Did you know you can humanely schedule a time to put this dog down if she's got she got tumors and have her body and her quality life is in hell? Did you know you can put her down and put her out of your misery, out of her misery? Like, I understand not wanting to do that. I'm very grateful that I'm not facing that choice right now. But it doesn't sound like she's that invested. Right. It's not like she don't really care. Whose dog is it? Probably them kids. It's probably them kids. Dang. But yeah. No, you can you can be upset that I said no, because you're out of free options to watch the dog. That's understandable. I guess I would be upset, too. I would not then take it out on you because you're allowed. But yeah, you can have your feelings. That's not a problem. Right. I love that. She was like, my mama would never let a beast into her home. And so she has no other options. And yeah, she just doesn't. Also, though, like, what was her responsibility? I'm still like, like, yeah, you know, like what she's supposed to be like, oh, but thank you so much anyway. And I really appreciate the fact that you always look after buttons and, you know, maybe some of like, I don't know what you're allergic. Like, I mean, you were already doing a lot. OK, but I think showing appreciation at some like saying that out loud to you, Troy, would be, I think, really, I think it would just make a huge difference. Yeah. Not even just watching. Not even just watching the dog, but just you feeling like they're not being entitled. She's not being entitled. And that you're like hard. Allergy induced. Was not just thankless. But yeah, I could see. I agree with everything. I could see that. But you also didn't have to have a reason to say no. It could have just been. No, you didn't want to watch the dog. I want to for eight fucking days. Yeah, that is expensive. That's a very expensive doggy daycare bill. It's. It's almost like y'all should have thought about that before y'all booked a fucking vacation. It's almost like y'all should have thought about that. I don't know what you're going to do with buttons, but she's not coming over here when I got eight other niggas in my house and I'm eight months pregnant. Girl. And I love your dogs and I don't like dogs. What if I go into labor while that dog is here? What if I go into labor and the dog dies while I'm here? Absolutely not. Can you imagine? No. So here I am. Giving birth. And at the same time, the life is gone. Like, imagine both of those things happen. No, it's actually too much. They I can't believe they're going on vacation knowing the dog is not doing that. Well, that don't make sense to me. I cannot believe that. So what is there? Can you not take the dog on a vacation? You can't go nowhere and chill with where the dog could come with you. And it's late later year. Sounds like it's a big pain in the ass to bring a dog with you, especially one that probably has. Accidents all the time. It doesn't feel well and needs all these medicines and stuff. And it's like, damn, maybe you shouldn't go anywhere until the dogs. If it's that bad for the dog, maybe we should stay home, make some plans for buttons final days. You know, before we take her to the vet, we let her eat all the chocolate and onions and garlic that she wants to. She gets hella grapes. And then we take her to the vet and we let her say night night. You know, I just can't imagine traveling with Lainey. Lainey could throw up and I'm canceling my trip. What do you mean? Tumors in her paws. What? Sorry. I have fully done that before. Yeah. Where Link like threw up on the carpet. And I'm like, oh, you know, dog's pee came from something she ate. And then she throws up again. Oh, no. Well, I don't have anything to do today. Everything is canceled. Because what is wrong with you? I have literally I have done that same thing. And it was entirely my fault. I was slicing up some plain turkey breast that I baked for her. And I didn't cut it in small enough pieces. And she's a greedy little nigga. So she was swallowing the strips whole. And so like two hours later, she's puking entire strips of turkey breast. And I had never felt so bad. I was like, nigga, you didn't chew. Like I didn't. You didn't. You just swallowed these shits. You didn't even try to chew them. Like, but yeah, my whole day was canceled after that. Well, what did you expect me to do? Right. She looking like, the fuck? Well, only one of us is the human here, girl. Like, OK. Yeah, you're right. That was my bad. But I think your sister-in-law and your brother, I don't get this. They sound like Steve Urkel parents. I would always walk into the Winslow's house and be like, why are you over here? Don't you want to go home? Oh, yeah. My parents fluted. Tahiti. I didn't know until I woke up this morning and there was like a note on the front door. Like, damn. Do y'all like this stuff? There was a running joke. Right. Steve's parents should have been arrested. They were never. No, legitimately. Legitimately. They neglected the fuck out of that boy. And instead, the joke was, well, I see why your parents don't want to be around you. Like, ah. Yeah. Yeah. He even moved in with them at one point. Yeah. Why not? You might as well live there. Yeah. You are never. You're home. Okay, Troy. Good luck with your pregnancy, girl. You got bigger things to worry about. Loki, I don't like your sister-in-law. I really don't. I don't like the fact that she, I understand that she's allowed to ask, but I don't like the fact that they're leaving that dog when it is in such bad shape. Like, I just can't imagine doing that to Lainey. I can't. I just can't. I would not be away from my baby at the end of her life. My anxiety wouldn't even let me. Right. I can't even have a good time. Because every day I'm worried, like, did she wake up? No, man. Fuck that. Fuck that. Yeah. All right. Our last letter comes from Benita, who says, hi, Crystal and Kid Fury. Oh. Um. You know. Well. Well. You know what? Benita, this is, this one is a little deep. We're going to save you for next week. This one. Word. I was skimming over it. Like, uh. We're going to need more time than what we have for that one. So, this one comes from Portia. And Portia says, I recently matched with a guy, Dennis, online. In a recent. You just had to, didn't you, Portia? You had to. Oh, she isn't done. In a recent conversation, we discussed our families and where we went to school since we're from the same hometown. I told him that I knew one person, Simon, who I think went to school with Dennis. Dennis mentioned that not only does he know Simon. They're best friends. This is hilarious. The problem is that Simon and I have a long history. We met when we were 13 and ended up at the same college. In college, we grew an intimate bond, but never had sex. Simon and I reconnected in 2021 while I was visiting his city, picked up where we left off and started hooking up. That lasted on and off for years, most recently in January, 2025. I instantly got nervous because so far, Dennis and I have been hitting it off. Dennis went on to say that his younger sister is engaged to Simon, and they have been in a relationship for six years. My jaw hit the floor. It wasn't until my last visit with Simon that I learned he had been seeing someone, and we haven't communicated since then. I told Dennis that Simon and I used to hook up, but didn't go into detail, and Dennis said he didn't mind because they didn't have nothing to do with him. They do, but he was curious about the time. I put him in frame, and I gave him a vague answer. What would y'all do in this situation? Would you tell Dennis about the full extent of the history you have with Simon and risk blowing up an engagement and a friendship, or would you just keep your mouth shut? Thanks, Portia. Who said that? Portia. I don't think I would say anything. You know, gayish now. Yeah. Right. I hate that for her in Atlanta. I mean, I hate that for the gays in Atlanta. It could be a storyline. Anyways, I would not say anything. Why not? Because unless I missed something. They were hooking up while Simon was in a relationship with Dennis's sister, but she didn't know about that until the last one, but she also didn't know. Because Simon and the sister have been together six years. She's been fucking this man since 2021. So that's well within that relationship. So would you tell. You know. Would I tell Dennis? Would you tell Dennis, hey, so I was sleeping with Simon while he was with your sister. Yeah. Yeah, it was. i don't know i don't think i would just because yeah i would only because that i would it would be something that i feel like i would either just break down and be like look i have to say this yeah or we would be at well we would just be at sizzler right and everyone's just enjoying their food and all of a sudden like i have just like a mini cough as i'm drinking my sprite and instead of a cough it's like so i'm in shape you know what i mean like it would just there's no way i would be able to keep something like that to myself for very long yeah so i think i would i think i would just because i wouldn't be able to keep it in in without going crazy you know at first i thought no i wouldn't but you're right it's it's only so long i'm gonna be able to keep that to myself and i can see two problems really what if you and dennis really start getting along y'all really start clicking this becomes a serious relationship right you're gonna be around a lot considering his sister and his best friend are together and that's another thing what if y'all get serious you end up meeting simon's fiancee slash wife and you love her y'all are just good girlfriends that's a good point and hanging out and all this the guilt would be my ass girl so yeah and at that point you're kind of too far gone right i think if you don't want to say nothing you just have to break things off with dennis and exit this situation entirely for sure but if you're gonna keep seeing dennis then you have to tell him i think you do i think you do um and that's gonna be so messy when he finds out his best friend was cheating on his little sister oh wait that's gonna be good but call bravo andy so he can have the cameras rolling i think so i think you put on a cute little outfit yeah you know pour you a like a nice glass of iced tea and watch the shit watch the show yeah you might as well just park it and get entertainment ah this is so messy and you know this is really simon's fault because something's been lying to everybody involved so i do feel for you because you said you know you met this guy y'all have really been clicking but if you know that you were unknowingly the other woman and it's just too it's too messy it would be one yeah if they were just best friends then fine but best friends and you're engaged to to his little sister it's too much sorry so yeah i think you got to tell the truth unfortunately i do have a conscience and yeah i would not be able to smile on your face knowing i fucked your man while this was your man and he's just over here lying to you and you know he's probably not done cheating he's just done cheating with me right he's probably still cheating on you to this day like i can't as a girl i cannot do it i cannot do it i agree yikes um but let us know how that goes and i'm gonna need an update portia don't be stingy either hurry up bitch let us know what you decide to do best of luck to you all right y'all we are gonna wrap up the letters right there again if you have a question for us send us an email ask the read at gmail.com we'll be right back okay folks we're back it is time for the read hmm do you have one this week i think i can probably get through mine relatively quickly okay okay doctor umar i try to just ignore you because i feel like that's what's best for all of us to do um yet people still give you a place to sit down on the microphone to speak into this time i saw you talking about shai and brian and and claiming that black people women specifically are tearing her down worse than erica kirk worse than all of these other like names of like despicable white folk you also alleged that the women who have a problem with her are jealous of her looks of her success and other things of that nature dr umar if you want to fuck that lady you could just say that you could text a friend you could dm the lady coming out here and comparing people's response to shai and brian's untruths to the wife of a dead demon who walks out to these turning point events like she's stone cold steve austin like she's china like she's rikishi she's walking out like she has like a wrestlemania belt on and this is in front of crowds of children of of young people that they are indoctrinating um so how you would compare something like that to niggas saying cheyenne where's the documents like no one is jealous of this lady as much as they are asking her to tell the truth and take accountability furthermore i would want for people to say if i'm giving money to a lady who calls herself a doctor and is misleading me allegedly um i don't know i don't know i don't know what she's doing and um what it is that she like her her accolades her accomplishments her academic work i would want to know that i would want to know that if somebody hit me uh tomorrow or if there was some social media discourse and i find out that my psychiatrist ain't got no damn license and has been a fraud this whole time i don't know if i'd fight or like i want to know these things i'm suing you but everything that i have seen has been people saying legitimate valid shit mostly girl why are you lying there are many many many many many hard-working individuals who earned a doctorate for real yeah broke their back um ran loans up to get this incredibly monumental and um monumental and purposeful um degree you're a lady from basketball lives with a bust down chain that say dr brian on it we want to know the truth so they're gonna ask you to do that because people deserve to know it's actually harmful as fuck for you to just be going around calling yourself any kind of doctor any kind of whatever even though you play and play and you sitting and talking to cam newton about why he got so many kids because black people and specifically black women who are doctors black women who are patients no respect no respect no support no acknowledgement always backbiting and punching down and trying to like disrespect and here you go like well sure i'm on wild and out this week but what does that have to do so umar if you want to suck on that lady's flaps i feel like that's something that you can just come out with yeah rather than trying to kick up dust and tell niggas that they are mad and they're trying to destroy this lady and whatever whatever i'm not super shocked that you're supporting her as a grifter yourself but you sound the fucker fool a fool like and i believe he actually has a doctorate he does he well he has a side d okay so you've done some something i can you have done something cheyenne brian got a chris brown degree why are you talking about why are you why are you talking to us oh man um i think that's it for me well i just love that you brought that up because uh umar is also not a licensed practitioner he's another one who just got his degree and you know now he runs his mouth i mean a lot like me but um i was gonna talk about amanda seals for doing the exact same thing she got on instagram or whatever and started talking about how y'all doing too much about cheyenne and she's like i'm not doing too much about cheyenne brian and just because she lied about her credentials don't mean that she's not doing good work and i had her she was like i had her on my podcast and she was brilliant and i just you know y'all are she's like y'all are just dragging it and doing a lot and you know i think in a world we act like credentials are everything it makes sense that you know we can understand why some people would lie about things and although credentials are important in some areas it's not really important here because she didn't harm nobody and it's just not that big of a deal and you know Maya Angelou got an honorary doctorate too and I don't see y'all she literally brought up Maya Angelou that's rough that's rough I said damn Amanda even the people who try to stay out of it when you getting whacked had to say now wait just one goddamn minute girl Maya Angelou first of all Maya Angelou okay so there's a lot here right but starting with the late great Maya Angelou you not comparing that light-skinned bird bitch from reality tv to a police or witch who has won like every award that's possible for the first black woman to be depicted on a u.s. quarter you're comparing her to Cheyenne Bryant Maya Angelou did have an honorary phd but she got honorary degrees from 25 different accredited colleges and universities to compare people to compare her like literally literally when we talk about somebody deserving an honorary phd Maya Angelou is what we talking about okay yeah we're not talking about the Cheyenne Bryants and the Chris Browns of the world I can't believe you even brought Maya Angelou up that was so stupid I don't know why you said that secondly credentials matter a lot in health care and mental health care is health care it matters a lot if you are lying about your degrees or your licensure or your the places you have practiced or what you've practiced under it matters a lot if you're doing that I suspect that Amanda Seals is embarrassed that she platformed a liar and was on because she was said she said Cheyenne Bryant came on my show and she was brilliant I said I'll I'll see that for myself I'll be the judge of that I went and pulled it up I could first of all barely get through it because she came on talking about how Cheyenne is just so beautiful and she's just this gorgeous woman I'm like who cared like this has what does this have to do with anything like who gives a shit what she looks like I'm gay let me um but also like I could not I didn't even get through it but I skimmed through the transcript I'm like I'm not seeing anything particularly brilliant here however I can see how you might have been fooled because I'm sure Amanda Seals has a degree in something I'm also sure that something isn't mental health counseling or probably even psychology you probably got your degree in African-American studies or something like that because that seemed to be the political science because that's what you always run in your mouth about it's easy to be fooled by people when you're not actually an expert or knowledgeable in that area so it's okay to say damn I can't believe this bitch swindled me and had me calling her Dr. Bryant when she's not a doctor and and she even said on her podcast you know tell the people a little something about yourself because people know you know I'm not bringing just anybody on my show and it's like I guess you did bring just anybody on your show I guess you did just a light-skinned woman barely pushing back against like Nick Cannon and said oh yeah let me have her on my program so we can talk about how the tools that got you to where you are now are gonna have to be retired because they're not gonna serve you no more or whatever other you know just general psychology platitudes that probably anybody with a bachelor's degree in psychology could have spat out like I'm not shocked you fell for it I'm shocked that you decided to come online and insert yourself into it when you had a degree in psychology and you had a degree in psychology what the fuck all to do with it nobody said remember two years ago when Amanda Seals brought Cheyenne Bryant on her but like we were not thinking about that or you why did you come and join the conversation and then be like I wish y'all cared this much about Kamala Harris and I wish y'all cared this much about genocide and in Gaza and Palestine and maybe then I would give a shit but I just have to say I don't give a shit like so what she lied about her credentials I don't care okay you don't care you also don't have to this isn't your industry and it has nothing to do with you so why you didn't just sit the fuck out I don't know literally nobody summons you I'm not surprised that someone who is a fan of diagnosing herself is also a fan of people who don't actually have credentials or degrees or or licensure or whatever else lying about the things that they have I'm not shocked that you're a fan of that I'm really not but again you're getting these lashings now you're getting these lashings now you're getting dragged people are saying what the fuck is wrong with you and why would you even bring Maya Angelou's name into it because you decide to step up and insert yourself into this conversation for what reason is it possible Amanda that you don't know enough about mental health or therapy or counseling or psychology to even have an opinion here and I'm sure you would not be like it don't matter you know the people lie about their degrees every day if she was pretending to be a medical doctor and a lot of people don't take mental health care as seriously as the rest of your body health care but it is extremely serious it is a huge deal especially because she is claiming to practice she's claiming to be some kind of coach you can go online and book sessions with Cheyenne Bryant so yeah it matters a lot again why are you even here I cannot believe it so when you said Omar and Cheyenne Bryant I'm like everybody this woman this story will not die but it's because somebody every third business day is popping up to be like y'all doing too much about Cheyenne Bryant no y'all not doing enough about Cheyenne Bryant and it's because she looks the way she does which is not she's not even that pretty like she's not she's yes she's not ugly I'm not taking that away from her no no I'm sure she works hard to look the way she does okay I'm not taking that away from her but she is not I think she's so fine no she's not so fine that you can lie about having a PhD she's you got she got on Amanda's show and straight up said she earned a PhD in counseling psychology that is a lie so if I were you Amanda I would have just came on here and been like I can't believe she lied to my face on my show and let it go also or just like man we had a really good time on my show he made a lot of great points all that was a great interview didn't expect this wild ass shit damn that shout out but right but I couldn't help but think when you were saying you know like medical doctors and how people don't consider or acknowledge mental health as as like health care which is true I think some of those people don't also know or consider that your mental health affects your physical body and vice versa in countless ways right I mean so girl you again you don't know what you're talking about which is fine everybody's not an expert in everything I'm sure Amanda Seals is very smart about whatever it is she's very smart about but this is not it yeah this is not it you inserted yourself into the dialogue and the hashtag discourse for what do you like I think she likes being dragged I really don't know what's wrong with that girl but yeah if I were you I would have left that one alone and last but not least this Florida teacher who strung up that black baby doll I didn't hear about any of this but I can't say I'm surprised I want her under so her name is Karen of course it is Karen Savage 63 year old white woman who teaches at Barrington Middle School in Lithia Florida which this says is about 25 miles southeast of Tampa apparently a student brought the doll to school and she became frustrated that the kids weren't paying enough attention in class and so she took the doll and wrapped her phone charger cord around the baby doll's neck tied it up and then tried to toss it over like the tv and kept going till she finally got it and then lowered it so that this hanging black doll is visible in front of the classroom in front of all these kids this is what a white woman did to a classroom full of black children and so one of these kids I think he's a 14 year old um a 14 year old named Noah said I realized I probably should take a video of this because she can't get away with this this is crazy and they work no right and that the kids were saying uh you know this looks racist like you should probably take this down this is crazy um but so yeah he took a video and pictures of it he went straight to student affairs to share this with the administration of course with his mother and all this and so she has been fired this teacher Karen Savage it has she has been terminated um I won't be surprised if her license to teach is revoked entirely also it would be but I also wouldn't be surprised if some other private school in Florida was like come over here we you actually 1000% you fit in right over here miss girl but you're onto something baby let me just say this as a 63 year old you probably a veteran teacher I'm sure these kids are on your nerves okay And I know they must be a shit, too. It's middle school. I know they smell terrible. It's the end of the school year. Everybody's attention span is shot. You know, I'm sure these kids was on your nerves. I don't doubt that. I do not doubt that for you, though, as a white woman, but really any race of teacher to string up a black doll like it's being lynched and hanging there in the front of the classroom. Like, you have to have better control over your behaviors than that. Sorry. You can't be that mad at these kids. You can't be that frustrated at these children. You have to have better control over yourself than that. To try over and over again to get the doll over the TV, and then once you do get it, lower it down to, like, really send the message home, like, yeah, like, I'm going to string one of your black ass. And 14 and 15-year-olds. Right, right. Going, um. It feels wrong. It feels like you probably shouldn't do it. Child, Noah said, while she was lowering the doll, I thought, ah, I should probably record this so that I have proof that she did it. I need evidence so she don't get away with it. And went straight to school administration. Noah Faye, hold my arc, bitch. I got something for you. And so now you've been fired at the end of the goddamn school year, girl. Word. For what? She has been reported to the Florida Department of Education Office of Professional Practices Services. Practice services, I should say. We'll see if the state of Florida decides to allow her to continue to. Right, right. So don't hold your breath. But it's just really crazy that in 2026, we still have white teachers thinking that this is an appropriate thing to do. Like, I know when, if my child has sent me a video talking about, look what my teacher did. Oh, no. I won't rest till my foot is up your ass. Torture. Hitchwork and torture. There's flames on the side of your face. Bitch. This should remind me of that episode of Boondocks where the white teacher said, nigga. Oh, yeah. Who's like, I said, nigga. Because he said, nigga. What's up, my nigga? The kids say it all the time. Nigga this, nigga that. Like, that was hilarious. You know, Miss Lady. I don't know what she was thinking. Right. Like, it's just like, everybody knows that adolescents are assholes. They're the worst. The middle school is such a challenge. Those kids are going through a lot of changes. It's the end of the year. I know, that's the thing. I have empathy because I know them kids was on your nerves. However, stringing up a black doll should have been, it should not have even crossed your mind as something to do, baby. It should not have even occurred to you. It should not have occurred to you as a thing to do. Are you talking about she went for it, too? Yeah. Like, she couldn't get it at first. Right. She saw that black doll and her phone cord and she concocted a plan. Yeah, we're going to take your job and we're going to go ahead and take your license as well. Damn. And you was so sick. You probably have to, you probably have to give up all your little pension or whatever retirement benefits you was going to get. You probably have to give up. You probably have to give all that shit up because you got fired. You're going to be out here like any other MAGA supporter. Like. Car and all and bread. Don't worry. I mean, it's not like teachers make that much money. I mean, no, but watch. She'll be on. She'll have a GoFundMe up and she'll be at the White House in two or three weeks. For sure. For sure. And this teacher was simply exercising her rights as an American citizen to lynch black baby dolls. If you can't lynch black dolls in the classroom, then where can you? Do it like they finna bend over themselves to make this an OK thing to do when, like. Imagine teenagers being like, man, this looks racist. I just feel like, yeah, this is as an adult. You probably shouldn't. And she was like, eat my dick. OK. All right. What the fuck? I'm telling on you, Florida. I'm telling. Yes. This isn't. You've lost your mind, baby. You know, the 50s or whatever the fuck. Yeah. Yeah. We all have video cameras. Right. And I'm telling. Yeah. And I'm telling. So shout out to that baby for pulling out his phone because a lot of people probably just would not have believed it or this would have blown over if he did not take the video that he did. So shout out to that baby for doing the right thing. Yeah. And you won't have to worry about that teacher. No, I mean, you was going to get a sub anyway, but she won't be in charge of no more young black minds. God only knows how much shit she done got away with over the years in the classroom. Because kids didn't have their phones out or whatever. Like you. You really a hateful bitch. You don't have no business working with children. So. She needs to be investigated. Yeah, she really does. She needs to be on surveillance. That's wild. Yeah. I want y'all to go. Go look at her house. Go. She got a cellar. Go. I want to see what's in her cellar. That bitch is weird. A nigger couch. She's working on me. That's what I'm saying. She got all them little Sambo dolls. I bet she got a bunch of that. Yeah. I bet. She do. Anyway. Fuck that lady. And yeah, I think that's going to wrap up this week's episode of The Read. Check us out on social media at this is the read. Our website is this is the read dot com. Crystal's couch available wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Follow us at Crystal's couch. Any other news or announcements from you, Kid Fury? Please go and check out my podcast, Furious. Thoughts Furious Thoughts Pod on Instagram. You can find it pretty much on all your socials. You can hear the podcast on all your podcast platforms and you can watch the podcast on YouTube dot com slash Kid Fury TV. Go check it out. Go show him some love. This week, Stevie Mackey is on the pod. Had a great good old singing ass time with him. Even did a warm up where he complimented my voice sort of. Oh, wow. He said I have perfect pitch. Okay. So if you want to hear me get to singing, go check that out. Also, I have a live show here in Los Angeles next week, June 3rd, 2026. You can go to Instagram dot com slash Kid Fury. Hit my bio if you want tickets to that. It's going to be very special. It's gonna be lots of fun. So lots, lots of read branches here for you to go check out. Yes. I mean, we need all the distraction we can get. All right, y'all. Take care of yourselves and be good. We will see y'all next week. Don't forget to spay and neuter. Your spouses.