MOVING ON FROM THE PAST & RE-INVENTING OURSELVES FOR 2026 *the pep talk you didn’t know you needed*

(upbeat music) Hello you guys, and welcome or welcome back to another episode of A Better You. I am your host, Fernanda Amirez, and I'm so happy to have you back. I'm so excited for today's episode because we are having the pep talk you didn't know you needed. We are going to be talking about moving on from the past and reinventing ourselves for 2026. I thought since we are in the final month of the year, we would make an episode talking about doing some reflection for 2025, just kind of doing a little bit of a self audit and figuring out what it is that we want for 2026. I kind of want this episode to be more focused on wrapping up 2025 and looking back on the year and just like enjoying what we accomplished, feeling proud about what we accomplished, but also giving ourselves self-compassion if there were things that we did not accomplish or if it was a tough year for us, a hard year for us, just kind of ending it off on a good note, letting go of the past, whether it was good or bad, and just kind of making space for the new. I want to talk about self-authorship, meaning having ourselves be the creator of our lives and just kind of remembering that we're in charge and that we get to plan 2026, the way that we want to, and just kind of a quick run through of what setting goals, setting intention, creating a vision board, and an action plan kind of looks like. Since it is still early on in December, I think I'll make some more episodes on 2026 and more in-depth on goal setting or vision boards, but I just kind of want to touch on those quickly so that this episode still kind of makes sense as like a standalone. Before we get into it, I wanted to acknowledge that I'm posting this episode a little bit earlier than when I supposedly post. My schedule usually aims to post on Wednesdays, but since the launch of my Better You Daily Journal is coming out on Tuesday, I kind of want to sneak in one more episode before the launch and kind of talk to you guys one-on-one because this is the last time I get to speak to you before it goes live. You guys, we are getting closer and closer to the date. If this is your first episode where you have heard about this, I am coming out with a guided journal for a Better You. I'm really excited because this journal is going to be like the tangible object to this podcast. When I talk about reflection and journaling and habit tracking and all of those fun things, it will be so exciting when you guys have the same journal as me. And I really hope that in this next year, I can make more community events for a Better You as well as maybe doing some journaling on livestream or having like a Patreon or something where we could journal together and having the same journal would be so much fun. This is a guided morning and nighttime journal. There are a bunch of different pages at the very front with daily affirmations to recite. We talk about the eight pillars of self-care. We talk about ways to spend time alone and also grow community. You've also got some start of the week and month journal prompts as well as end of the week/month journal prompts. And we've also got some ideas for morning rituals and nighttime rituals. But yeah, I'm so excited. This journal's coming out December 9th at 11am PST and 2pm EST. There's only gonna be a limited amount so I'm hoping that you guys can get your hands on it. A question that I've been getting asked a lot is about shipping and there is international shipping and we will be shipping to most countries worldwide. If you guys wanna hear more about this journal, you can head over to my Instagram at Fernand Ramirez with two a's in my last name or at abetteru.byFernanda. And on my website, FernandRamirez.com is where the journal will be sold. You guys should definitely head on over to my Instagram to see more about it as well as I talk a lot about this journal and all the pages in depth in the last two episodes of my podcast as well as if you head over to my main Instagram. My main YouTube channel will be talking more about journaling and I've also got some content about it on TikTok. Plus some BTS. So it's all over my pages. December 9th is the day 11am PST, 2pm EST. If you guys order the day of, I believe it will come for Christmas time so it makes a perfect Christmas present. And yeah, I'm so excited for you guys to get your hands on it. I'm so excited for the launch. Stay tuned and yeah, that's all I wanted to say but let's hop on into this episode. Let's talk about 2025. I feel like I've been talking about my past year in a lot of these few episodes recently as it was kind of a year of change for me and a different year than previous years. I feel like it was a year of recalibration for myself and of taking care of my inner world and my nervous system and just kind of figuring out who I am at this age. I think there was so much going on internally that this year really just demanded peace and feelings of safety for me. I really feel like this year I flourished in my creativity and my happiness and my joy and I've never felt so present and I just feel like the aura around me is like just exuding love. That was actually my goal at the beginning of the year. I bought a lot of rose quartz and I was doing a lot of energy work for my heart chakra and I was like, I really just wanna heal my heart. I just wanna radiate love. I just want to work with rose quartz and I just want to feel peace. And one year later that I did. I will say though, this year was a tough one for a lot of people around me and I know that it was the year of the snake. I have it pulled up right now, but it was a year of the year which is a period symbolizing deep inner transformation, wisdom, shedding old habits and intuitive growth. And this year encouraged introspection, patience, and subtle sustainable change rather than external action focusing on wisdom, clarity, and strengthening relationships and communities through mindfulness and adaptability. I don't know about you guys, but that is exactly what my year consistent of. So I feel really aligned with the whole snake year. It said that the energy of the year was quiet reflection, intuition, flexibility, and deep understanding. I would love to know what your 2025 looks like and let me know if this was a year of introspection for you and of intuitive growth and shedding old habits and patterns. I definitely feel like a lot of the people in my life went through heartbreak and change and maybe that's exactly what this year was about. On the other hand, let me get you guys excited because it says that 2026 is the year of the horse in Chinese zodiac, specifically the fire horse. It actually starts in February on Chinese New Year, but you guys get the point, 2026 is the year of the horse. It says it's bringing traits of passion, fire, energy, and leadership. It says that it is a year for growth, travel, expressing joy, and developing inner strengths as fire energy boost resilience. Whether we wanna believe in the Chinese zodiac or not, I will take all the good juju I can get. And Chinese zodiac is kinda saying that 2026 is gonna be a movie. I don't know what you guys, but that's the vibe I'm getting. The first thing I wanna say is I highly recommend you guys, I'm gonna say picking up a journal, but if you wanna just go on a walk and reflect on it, think back to this past year and what every single month was for you. Literally right before I started recording this podcast episode, I was just writing in my journal and I was starting to do some reflection on the past year. I asked myself what was my biggest success and my proudest moments? What brought me the most joy and laughter? What were some of the skills I learned and the things that I tried? What was the most difficult thing that I faced? What did I let go of? What was I most grateful for this year? What qualities do I want to bring into 2026? And who did I feel my best around? So those were the questions that I asked myself and I feel like doing a little reflection on your year allows you to notice what went well, what went wrong, what you could have done better and it really like sometimes can be a little bit triggering if you didn't have the best year or you didn't have the most productive year. I totally understand that. I know for myself I was looking at what I was most proud of and though I can say I felt so happy and like, I felt so joyous and I was laughing. When I think of like proud, sometimes like, career comes first or output comes first to mind and you guys know because I've explained it so many times, I feel like this was a more internal year for me, a healing year for me. A year where I really needed to kind of step back from being seen so much and like evaluating what is truly going to be an alignment for me moving forward. And so when I was thinking about like, what made me the proudest, initially I was going to career and I was like, wait a second. Wait a second guys, what the hell? And then I had to get myself some credit and be like, you know what, I'm so proud of myself for the healing. I'm so proud of how I felt. Like, I'm just more proud of my internal state and I want to bring that up also because it is so easy to be down on yourself to compare yourself to somebody else's success, to feel like you should have been doing more when in reality you've done so much this past year. And if you felt like you should have been doing more in your career or like you had some setbacks, give yourself some compassion for those setbacks because they're not easy. Honestly, like, low-key being alive is not easy and going through things is not easy. So how can you expect yourself to be at 100% output if you are already going through some stuff in the first place? I was talking to my friend and she had had the same dilemma and she was saying how she didn't feel like she had accomplished that many things in work or she was just kind of like, where did the year go? Like it went by so fast, but she had gotten out of a relationship and I was like, girl, you don't even need to feel the rush to get better post-relationship or feel the rush to heal and pretend like nothing happened because even if you're going through heartbreak or something that is like such a big part of your life of your identity and when something changes like that, it takes time for you to like, recalibrate. It takes time to go back to like a homeostasis and if you have managed to get back to that homeostasis and you've started to feel better and like, you're just form up, that is already like growth and if you are in a different place than you were a year ago today, then that is already saying something. You know, there's so much pressure from the outside world, from social media, from everyone trying to like, one up each other to have this life that looks amazing online. But guys, it doesn't matter how amazing your life looks if it does not feel good. If you are not internally feeling happy, proud, and like honestly, safe even, how you look on the outside is not the flex you think it is. Having that said, when you are reflecting on 2025, don't just think about your career or your job or your school as the only places where you can find success in. Think about your mental health, your emotional health, your physical health. Think about all the different experiences you got to have, if you traveled, if you made any new friends. If you even felt a little bit more social or maybe you're a very social person and you were trying to say no to plans and like events and stuff, even feeling proud that your people pleasing tendencies maybe have been a little bit more managed or you've kind of stopped doing that as much. Maybe you can be proud of yourself for gaining boundaries, gaining self-respect, gaining self-love. I was definitely trying to work on self-love this past year and I feel like all of these qualities and all these traits and all of these things that I feel very proud of myself of. Sometimes it's hard to justify them because you can't prove them, but you know it. And like if you feel like over the past year you have made different decisions, different internal shifts, maybe even you've dismantled beliefs that didn't serve you anymore or you've made inner switches to kind of be more disciplined or you just want something more for yourself, that is something that you should be proud of. And that is sign of forward growth that will eventually lead to momentum, which will eventually lead to change and then a different outcome. I wanna remind you guys that you are the creator of your life, you guys are in charge though things can be thrown at us and you know we might have some turbulence along the way. We can pick our pieces back up and every, like as Courtney as it sounds but every block in your way or even negative experience is only something that you can learn from and something that you can gain resilience from. An idea that I found online that I feel like really resonated with me was that if you are trying to let go of the past and you know maybe 2025 was in a good year for you or there were things that happened that you're not happy with or even 2024 or 2023, things are dragging on that you are not proud of anymore and you just wanna let it go. You do not let go of the past, you outgrow it. Trying to let go keeps you tied to it. And I totally understand that. There were definitely things that I had been keeping in my mind and I was processing and I was reflecting and I was like why did this happen? And like you know you're really ruminating on these thoughts but eventually you just gotta step outside of them and be like this no longer serves me. You know I've thought about this enough, I've dwelled on it enough. I've sat in my pity enough. It is just not worth it anymore to keep thinking about and to keep having it at the forefront of my brain you just come to the conclusion that you are now bigger than that thing. It does not hold the importance that you give it. Reinvention happens when your future self becomes louder than your memories. And I think that is something to emphasize as well. Sometimes the things that harmed us, that pained us, that caused us sadness, they will never be forgotten. And you know you might always remember those things but the present and the new experiences will be louder than those memories that you will not even be thinking about those things anymore. Another very important thing that we can do moving into 2026 is to stop telling ourselves this old story. I think it is very easy for us humans to build narrative around our experiences and sometimes we hold on to these stories that once meant so much to us. But again, when they no longer serve us it is important to let those things stay in the past. Otherwise those stories will trap you. To give a personal example, as I've said in the past year I was healing from like a past relationship. And I remember at one point I was so angry, I was so upset and I was like how dare this happen? How dare I let this happen? Like how could they do this? And how did I stay? And like why did I do that? And like you're having all these thoughts of annoyance and just like frustration? And eventually I just had to be like, I don't care anymore, I don't wanna care. I don't wanna keep thinking about it. What happened happened and now I'm just gonna reframe that thought to be like, you know what? I don't agree with it but that's in the past. It taught me this. This is how I'm going to move forward. This is how I'm not going to let the past define my future. This is how I'm going to prevent those mistakes from happening again. This is how I'm going to move into a different timeline into a situation that doesn't even allow for circumstances like that to happen. That honestly was so helpful for me rather than reliving the past, retelling the story, reiterating to myself something that I wasn't happy about. That was keeping me trapped, that was keeping me in the past and it was keeping me in this like mentality of being unable to move forward because I was just so stuck there. When the story got old, the book had to close. I was like, we're done. We're done reflecting about this. Extract what matters from the situation and leave the rest. There was a quote that said, "Identity is maintained by repetition. If you change the story, you change the self." And I think that that is so important to remember. The same way that your identity can be shaped by repetition and that repetition may be something bad. Start to repeat something that is helpful for your future self, something that is exciting for your future self and then you will see the change flourish from within. Another lesson that can be helpful when reflecting on 2025 and wanting to let go of the past is that you can accept that grief and growth can coexist. Like I said, there were some times over this past year where I felt kind of disappointed about like, "Oh, should I have done this, should I have done that?" But then that doesn't take away from how many amazing things happened this past year. Do not fall into the trap of naming a year good or bad, black or white, productive or unproductive. You have to remember that there are nuances and that nothing is inherently good or bad. There were good moments and there were bad moments. There was times where you felt joyous on top of the moon, light laughing just like so in love with life. And there were probably other moments where you were not feeling your best, kind of upset in a lost place, feelings of confusion. And like one doesn't take away from the other, it is the whole story. There is also a possibility that you can miss something and never want it back. You can reminisce on the good memories and think that that's still not good for me and I'm gonna choose something else. You can love who you were, who you loved, what you built and still choose not to return. Maturity is holding gratitude without attachment. And that's exactly how I honestly feel in this current moment. I feel very unattached to outcomes and that's kind of how I'm feeling for even 2026. I'm excited for this year and what it's going to bring. I feel like there is so much opportunity and every new year brings like such fresh energy. But at the end of the day, I'm also open-minded. I'm open-minded for the different experiences that might come, the different people that might come in and out of my life and for that. I'm excited. So that's kind of where I wanna leave that off for 2025. I hope that genuinely you guys had a great year. I really hope that you did. If there were times where, I don't know, maybe took some else, we all take some else here and there. Just know that new energy is coming. I always say it, but change is good. It changes inevitable and the sooner that we can move with change, the sooner that we can just move through life with ease and detachment. We can embrace the positive moments and we can learn from the mistakes. And also, I think it's important to note that what's meant for you will always find you. Genuinely, I really believe in divine timing and alignment. If something is not in your life anymore, it is just not in alignment with you anymore. It is not going where you are going. And again, with divine timing, sometimes it's just not your time yet. Sometimes things don't happen the way you want it to happen. And something that I was actually talking about with someone else recently was that whenever I don't get what I want or I don't get the thing that I set out for, I never think to myself, oh, that's never gonna happen. I just think it's not the right timing yet. It just hasn't happened yet. And I think that that is such an important way to reframe your mind because you won't feel so negative and so upset with yourself and feeling like you want to blame yourself. It's like some things might happen later than you expect, but it is actually when it is meant to happen. There are things that you don't have all of the wisdom or the experience yet to be able to do. There might be some lessons you need to learn first, but once whatever you want actually happens, you're gonna look back on your life and be like, oh, that made so much sense while I didn't get it sooner or that made so much sense why that one year I took an L. Like genuinely, things are gonna happen when they're meant to happen. And another reminder is that everything that you want wants you more, the things that you want, the universe wants to give it to you. So if it's not now, it will be soon. On the other hand, talking about 2026, who is freaking excited? I'm so excited for this year of the horse. I really do feel fresh energy for this new year. I'm so excited to see where this year takes me and you. I'm gonna give you guys a list of the things that I plan on doing when thinking about my goals for 2026. One thing I want to add in here, I have a spam account on Instagram and it's called Digital Furn. And I was spamming some vlogs on my stories. And one of the things I said was like, oh my God, I can't believe it's gonna be 2026 and then it's gonna be 2027. And like, I'm so excited for this next year and like I'm planning the year after that and like someone swept up on my story and was like, girl, why aren't you talking about 2027 when it's still 2025? Like how are you planning that far ahead? And I had to reply to her, you know, when you are self-employed, if you don't plan ahead, Loki, the ship's gonna sink and I don't mean that literally. But I mean, I think it is so easy to feel maybe more stable when you're in school or maybe if you have like a job, not that anything is like truly stable, like if you have a job. But I just mean that you kind of have your path already decided for you, especially if you're like in school, you don't really have to think too far ahead. But I think when you are self-employed or like an entrepreneur or like you run your own kind of business through yourself, you have to be the one that is creating your life. You don't just kind of fall into a path. You're actually creating the path. Therefore, you need to be so intentional with what you're doing because the seeds that I plant today are the opportunities and the experiences that I'm trying to have three years from now, four years from now, five years from now. And I think that is actually a really important thing to remember when you were thinking about 2026. Obviously you don't need to be so like in your head, like what's my five year plan? What's my 10 year plan? But even just thinking, just allowing yourself to dream and be like, what are the things that I want so bad? What are my desires? Ask yourself that. Not just like, what is realistic? What is probably gonna happen? What should I do that all my friends are doing? What is expected of me? No, no, no. Dig deep down and ask yourself, what are my desires? What lights my heart and my soul on fire? What do I want so bad? Let yourself be delusional. Let yourself dream of something that's almost like irrational to somebody else. And don't let anybody tell you. Oh, that seems a little bit unrealistic. Oh, that seems a little bit out of reach. Girl, don't put me in that cage. Okay, I'm gonna dream as big as I can. And if I know that I'm the creator of my life, what can I do today that will allow that future to actually be a possibility? If I block myself now from even experiencing that, that for sure won't happen. But if we know that we are the creators of our own lives, we can plant the seeds starting now. So that is exactly why I was on my story, yapping about 2027 and 2028, because the things that I'm doing now are in preparation for those years. And I just want to remind you guys that and put that into your ear, that it is never too late to change like paths or patterns. It is never too late to dream bigger or to really just like honestly think about what your dream life is. And if you're not in your dream life, literally make a whole plan and like ask yourself, what are the things I need to change? What can I do now? What can I do with the resources that I have now? With the connections that I have now? What can I teach myself? How can I work a little bit harder? How can I work a little bit smarter? And truly ask yourself those questions thinking into 2026. So back to what the first thing I was gonna do was, I'm gonna think about my intention for 2026 and what I want to embody. Embodiment was a huge word for me this past year. And if you're unfamiliar with what embodiment means, embodiment is who you practice being, not what you say you want. So it's like I can say that I wanna be productive, but if I'm not embodying productivity, then I'm not being what I'm saying that I wanna be. It is the difference between wanting confidence versus moving through the world like somebody who is confident. Embodiment is when your thoughts, your body, your energy, and your daily choices are aligned with the version of you you are becoming. Not someday, but now. So ask yourself what is the energy that I want to embody in 2026? I'll tell you guys personally, I wanna embody the integration of both discipline and devotion, feminine and masculine energies. I want to embody both whimsy and freedom and joy and love while also embodying discipline and consistency, productivity and hard work. Ask yourself what it is that you wanna embody this year. You may be wanting to embody sexiness, confidence, competence, faith, spirituality. Maybe you wanna embody self trust, emotional safety, discernment, emotional maturity, grounded ambition, integrity, presence, et cetera. Once we have the intention for 2026 set and the vibe that we wanna embody, the next thing that I like to do is plan out some goals. So I will definitely be making goals for different aspects of my life, whether that be emotional health, physical health, mental health, spiritual health, career. I'll probably make some goals in terms of relationships and then just like fun goals that I wanna do like traveling and stuff. But I don't wanna get too into goal setting 'cause I'll probably make its own episode on that but definitely thinking about goals in different aspects of my life. And I don't have to make too many goals but maybe just like three for each or one for each or however many you wanna do for each. Another thing that I usually do when I plan my year is I plan every single month and I do 2026 at a glance. So I kinda just plan the whole year and see when I wanna travel, when I wanna do certain things. So I kinda know what months are busier, which ones are freer. And again, that allows me to start thinking in January, what are the seeds I need to start planting in order for the rest of the year to be successful. After the goals are done, you know what the vision is, you know what you wanna embody. It is time to make your vision board. Again, I will make its own episode on vision boards. I think goals and vision boards will be its own episode. But I actually made my vision board in like May and I think I said this earlier in this episode but I think my goal for 2026 is to kind of integrate both vibes, both devotion and discipline, both feminine and masculine energies. And I made actually two complete different vision boards for this year. One was my soul board and the other one was my like external self career self. And I really like that I did this because it allowed me to differentiate what vision board is for me as a person in real life. And like the vibe that I'm trying to embody and the other one was more like my career identity, like who I wanna be online. And I think that this year for 2026, I just wanna be more focused and make a board that combines both of them. Very goal focused, not just like different vibes but goal oriented so that when I reach the end of 2026, I can look at that vision board and be like, okay, I actually did the things that were on here. I think that once you're at that place and you know what the vibe is, you know what you wanna embody, you know what your intention is, you know what your goals are, you have your vision board. The thing that is actually left is actually just living in alignment to those goals, actually doing those things. Removing friction, which is cutting behaviors that contradict your identity, which we talked all about in the episode about discipline two episodes ago and adding ease into your days and adding actual structure and routine. So maybe that's like booking things in advance and just like overall setting yourself for success. Again, listen to my episode on getting your discipline era. I posted that two episodes ago. That one talks all about how to actually start acting like this version of yourself so that you actually accomplish your goals and you become this dream woman. And then I guess 2026 will be about just actually doing the damn thing, being consistent and being in routine and in rhythm. But we will save that for another episode. I wanna end this episode off here just so that it is short and simple and you guys got your little pep talk out of the way and you got it in. I hope that you guys had open ears and an open heart while receiving this message and you know that I say it with all the best intent. I really, really hope that you take some time to think back on this year, what went well, what went a little bit not ideal. And you start thinking about what you wanna embody in 2026. It is never too early to start thinking about what we want so we can start acting in alignment. And on the other hand, we still have December to go. Enjoy this last month of the year. Maybe finish up anything you wanted to finish up. If you take one look at your goals from 2025, you can see if there's anything that you haven't done yet that you actually wanted to do. I know for myself, this is kind of a random one, but I said that in 2025, I really wanted to do like a poll class and I actually did that last week. So that's to say that some things on your list, you might still be able to do before this year ends. So definitely check if there's anything you can accomplish before the year ends. And yeah, I wanna leave this episode off here. I love you guys. Thank you so much for listening. I had so much fun talking to you. Again, reminder. I'm sorry, I know I'm being kind of annoying, but this is the last time I'm speaking to you before this journal goes live. So I'm so excited. I hope you get your hands on it. Again, there is a limited amount. It is December 9th. 11 a.m. PST, 2 p.m. EST, available onfordandrameras.com. Check out my Instagram and my podcast for more details. I love you guys and I will see you soon. (upbeat music)