99: Moonbeam Ice Cream & Swans

*Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* Direct from the Broski Nation Headquarters in Los Angeles, California, this is the Broski Report with your host, Brittany Broski. Mm-mm. Y'all. Mm-mm. Mm-mm, y'all. I can't do it today. What the hell is going on? Mm-mm. Y'all go back to bed. It's too much today. I feel. I feel ran over. I feel ran over, and I feel just butt ugly today, y'all. I don't know what is in the fucking air! Actually, let me say something. Something is in the air. I woke up this morning moody. Moody as fuck. Like, just dramatic. I almost threw a hissy in front of the sink alone in my house. Y'all ever thrown a hissy? You know what that looks like? You throw a hissy fit? Where are my southern. where are the southerners at? Man, I almost threw a hissy this morning by myself to nobody. Just pissed. The energy today is wretched. And I woke up, and I said. Making my coffee. Shit was going wrong. In a bad mood. My mouth rash came back. Had to smear on some fucking ointment. Like an injured lizard at the zoo. Like a lizard in his enclosure. Oh, he's molting. He's got an infection. Why are reptiles so hard to care for? Let me fire up Google. Hold on. I've got some questions. I've got some questions today. Oh, good morning, broski nation. Today, something is in the air. Something shifted last night. I don't know. And I literally woke up, and I was like, I have to go read about what's happening astrologically. Astro-c-c-c-logically. We've got to go see what the woo-woo girls are talking about. And, oh my god, by the way, can I just say, is it just my feed that's all woo-woo tarot readings? Like, I obviously understand the phone listens to us, but damn. Every other video is like, July, your lucky month. He's coming. He's coming. Who's coming, bitch? Leave me alone. I'm scared. I'm scared of tarot. 'Cause you bitches take it too far. I don't know. It's like this looming, I have too much anxiety for that type of shit. He's coming. Oh, I'm gonna lock the door. Who's coming? Oh my god, who's coming? Lock the fucking door. Get, oh my god, I feel so nervous all the time. I started taking L-theanine. What do y'all know about L-theanine? My doctor put me on it. It's a natural supplement for anxiety. So, and I didn't take it this morning. So, I need to go take it. I need to go take all my, all my pills. It's just vitamins. Okay, y'all, I gotta be totally real with you. I hate my hair today. I'm bloated. I look tired as fuck. I put on concealer, but I still look, everything on my face is just round, and the skin is puffy, and I feel like my boobs sit weird. I'm having a day. It's damn, it's damn 9 a.m., and I'm already having a day. Fuck. And I had coffee, and it's not working. I need to start doing enemas. I need to start doing fucking taurine enemas. If any of y'all have good douching companies, you recommend. Okay, here's the deal, y'all. I feel really woo-woo today. I woke up, and there's something in the air, something, I feel like, intuitively, something probably shifted this morning. Let's have a reading. Welcome, everyone! Today is Monday, June 23rd. As of when I'm recording this. And something is going on, okay? And I'm sure it'll extend into tomorrow. I can't even talk. My throat chakra's all fucked up! My throat chakra's fucked up! Here's what CoStar's telling me. You are destined for more than one important love. You've been waiting for the one. Missing chances that didn't fit your picture. Look around. Multiple loves already exist in your life. The perfect person isn't coming. Several imperfect, important ones are. And fuck you, CoStar fucking bitch! What do you know? This is truly, like, all the tarot shit, and when I had my psychic reading, and some of my woo-woo witchy friends. July is gonna be major for me. I don't have anything really on the books for July, which is what's scaring me. It's freaking me out. Because is something gonna come up, and I'm gonna, you know, magically one night? I don't know. And I don't -- I -- at this point, it's more of a threat than a promise. A man is gonna enter my life in July? Keep him. I don't -- I'm not ready for all that shit. It's like a threat. Like, my fight or flight is going, and I'm just sitting here in my home. Do. Share blankets. Good posture. Shit. Play it cool. Don't. Lost love. Packed bags. YA books. And what if I want to read YA books? Genuinely, fuck CoStar. I don't love this reading. Let's dive deeper. Oh. You gotta pay? Oh, it's behind a paywall? Okay. Sure. Nope. Go ahead and scroll past that. Something came up where I had done a reading for me and someone else. I had paid $2.99 to have a compatibility reading for me and someone else. And that had just come up. So. Today, all of your feelings are out in the open. Say that again. You mistake your feelings for fact. Make decisions based on your mood and judge yourself for being irrational. Throw yourself into what another person is saying. You already know how to tread water. And that's a start. This month, you have to focus on how to alter your pace for people when you're pushed before you're ready. You don't have to punish yourself for refusing to give in. But you do have to be intentional about it. Be adaptable. If you cling hard and fast to every detail, it will without a doubt lead to a boring life. See, what are you? Am I stupid? Don't answer that. I read this and I'm like, that's a whole lot of vague nothingness. Vague nothing. This is not a reading. You're pushed before you're ready and you really just have to open your wings and be sure you're ready. Ready for what? The general theme of your life during this period is to contemplate the vastness of the universe. I don't want to do that. I feel like I do a fucking number of that on this podcast. And reconsider what role you want to play in it. Dreams and intuition help you find the places you're looking for. I feel disconnected from my intuition. CoStar, you fucking bitch! Okay, here's the deal. I've been seeing signs. There's not a more Caucasian woman than me alive, I don't think. I think I might be the palest, whitest fucking person on the planet. Oh, y'all, what is happening? What's going on? I'm sweating. Okay. I'm going to have a stroke. I'm also on my period. Everything, everything is fuckered today. I've been seeing swans everywhere. Let's Google that. I've actually been waiting to Google this when I was on the podcast. Slur your words one more time. I've been waiting to Google this. I was like, Jesus, what is happening? I keep seeing swans everywhere. Spiritual meaning. Swans often symbolize purity, love, and transformation. In many cultures, they represent the journey of the soul moving from one stage of life to another with grace. Their ability to switch effortlessly between water, land, and air is seen as a metaphor for adaptability and spiritual growth, and that I claim. That I claim. Seeing swans frequently can be a powerful spiritual symbol. Let's keep going. Should we go to Quora or Reddit? Reddit. This is r/. Once again, we're back on r/spirituality. r/cryptids, r/etymology, r/ghosts, and r/spirituality. Okay. This dude is just saying, last night I was driving by a lake. I saw a swan in the water. No other swans to be seen. And the thing was staring right at me. Yeah. I keep seeing. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Okay. Okay. He's staring right at me. Yeah. I keep seeing. I keep seeing paintings of swans. I keep. Like, I was in traffic the other day, and I was at a red light. And you know how sometimes. I don't know what the hell those are. They're like electrical boxes on the side of the road sometimes, like by gas stations and stuff. And they'll paint them. I know in LA they do that. Like, sometimes there's ballerinas and whatever. I keep seeing swans! I passed one the other day. Swan. the other day swan what is that okay the okay swans signify now we know that grace beauty purity love wisdom and tranquility you're a very lucky person the swan represents purity and god ramakrishna a 19th century indian saint is closely associated with the swan which holds deep symbolic meaning in hinduism and vedanta philosophy the swan represents the paramatman or the supreme self which is the ultimate goal of spiritual seekers in hindu mythology the swan is said to possess the unique ability to separate milk from water symbolizing the ability to discern the eternal from the transient the mythological attribute makes the swan an apt representation of the spiritual aspirants journey towards self-realization i'm realizing i'm realizing some things and what i'm realizing is that maybe there's a man on the way and maybe that man is jesus christ and maybe it's the rapture because my spiritual psychosis is coming to a beautiful crescendo maybe maybe god's coming back and it's time i become a christian again maybe god was right maybe this whole christian thing i should give it another chance i'm just kidding the use of the swan image in the vedanta society logo serves as a reminder of the ultimate goal of spiritual seeking to realize one's true nature as the supreme self it also underscores the importance of discernment and spiritual practice in achieving this goal actually you know what this actually it's resonating because something i've been practicing lately and i've had some trials in lately is what is for me just because something comes into your path doesn't mean it's for you necessarily you still have to discern which is what accomplished let 906 three months ago on reddit is telling me and lord knows i'll trust anyone on reddit because i think they might be some of the smartest people on planet earth reddit is like an untapped mine a diamond mine and i consult it it's my oracle of the delphi oracle oracle at oracle at the delphi who the hell is delphi has anyone does anyone have eyes on delphi oracle at delphi the oracle of delphi was a renowned priestess known as pithia who served as the oracle of the temple of apollo at delphi in ancient greece now apollo there's some tea on apollo apollo was doing things and i mean sleeping around he was crazy apollo such a flirt apollo apollo greece one of the most important and complex of the greek gods he's the god of music poetry light healing prophecy and archery he's one of the 12 olympians residing on mount olympus he is associated with the sun truth and the muses he's also really what's it uh what's the word ornery wasn't he an ornery god isn't that the whole thing with greek gods have i talked about this before how they operate from a place of almost boredom like sometimes they can be cruel just to be cruel it's not like this divine you know whatever our idea of an abrahamic god is like altruistic and omnipotent and works individually in everyone's lives and it's about your personal relationship to the creator god almighty greek gods are like girl they could do that they could do that they could do that they could do that they could do that they could do that they could do that they could give a if you live or die as long as you worship them because they are first and foremost egoists and and second of all they hate humans i guess humans are more like a play thing and and if you bring them you know if you treat them accordingly i guess they will treat you accordingly but that's not a guarantee what is greek god's relationship to humans and what is greek god's relationship to humans the gods intervened in human affairs sometimes benevolently other times capriciously and even for their own amusement see that's what i'm saying humans in turn relied on the gods for protection guidance and even as scapegoats for their misfortunes okay very interesting to me i really gotta read uh the odyssey i have to read the odyssey and the iliad before uh before nolan does the odyssey because guess what that's gonna be my new hyper fixation when that movie drops i'm sorry for what i'm gonna turn into when the odyssey by christopher nolan drops hey okay i'm not satisfied with the answer for why am i seeing swans why am i seeing swans everywhere okay let's rule out some things when do swans migrate during colder months they migrate south well it's the middle of summer they uh california especially the central valley is a major stopover point for migrating swans what the fuck okay we're on we're in deep woo right now pure twin flames.com swans meaning for twin flames now i don't really know okay let's just read are you wondering about the swans meaning for twin flames i guess if you see swans there might be a significant message coming your way again ominous a swan for twin flames is often a symbol of success on the journey to union they symbolize long-term love fertility and faith in the divine timing and spiritual journey you're on this can be an incredibly good sign i don't like this ominous countdown down here on the bottom of this page free twin flame readings in one hour and 10 minutes get a video reading what no way it's free many of us have that romantic picture in mind with the two swans forming a heart shape with their long and elegant necks as their beaks touch in a gesture of tenderness part of the romance connected to swans comes from the fact that they usually mate for life it makes them the sweet and touching image of romantic devotion seeing swans can be full of mating for life swans have the spiritual meaning of a soul deep connection the fact that they tend to put their heads together and for okay we get it seeing swans could mean that you and your mirror soul are about to make contact be it in the dream realm or in the 3d that depends on the level of interaction you already have of course what you might see swans when you're dealing with some obstacles or doubts of your own or when you're twins and you're not alone you might see swans with them who's my who is my mirror soul what does that mean mirror soul mirror souls often associated with the concept of twin flames describes a deep reflective and intense spiritual connection between two individuals it suggests that these individuals mirror each other's thoughts emotions and even past traumas facilitating personal growth and self-discovery but here's a little bit more about the concept of twin flames because it's a little bit more of a romantic thing is that just me so when someone's my twin flame that's like we're i always think of that in a platonic sense like a friend level because i don't want to be that similar with my with my young gentleman i don't think i want that i don't want you to well maybe twin flame mirror soul who the fuck knows okay we're gonna move on to something a little happier for a second because i'm gonna try to power through you know i feel ugly i feel bloated i feel like my boobs are pointing different directions i just really need to be in center with myself i need to connect with with what's in here and not what's out here because out here today is truly out of my control what's going on externally with me today not your business not really my business and don't you fucking dare look at me from behind because what's going on back there nobody's business i showed up today and sometimes that's all you can do you can just show up and sometimes you know you put on your black cat muumuu and you just hope for the best and i'm hoping for the best and i don't know if y'all are getting the best today and i feel really horrible about that but what the hell is going on broski nation i want to put it on everyone's hearts today here in the congregation to prioritize yourself prioritize yourself and this is a big theme and a lot of things going on in my life right now okay i'm cutting things off that don't serve me people don't get second chances don't let someone fuck on you twice and don't let someone tell you they don't want you twice okay message received let's move on in that vein i have something that i'd like to share with you today that i saw on tiktok.gov and i found it to be incredibly helpful and i wanted to share it with y'all because i know last time when i shared that um that tiktok i got that was like best shower night routine really changed my life changed some of y'all's too that summer aperol spritz playlist everything okay And if you don't know what I'm talking about, it was this girl showers at night with the lights real low and this playlist on Spotify called Aperol Spritz. And it's just basically like a multi-coast bossa nova. And yeah, it's just a relaxing, luxurious self-care routine. In that vein, this is what I want to tell everyone. Also, I want to mention updated self-care routine. That's what this is. I saw this TikTok from, let me find her name, Grace Moser. Grace Moser on TikTok, shout out. She made what most are calling, what some are calling, an anti-rot summer, which is essentially get the fuck off your phone and stop doing that. Stop doing that. Where you doom scroll and you start to feel sorry for yourself and you start to just feel sorry for being alive. And maybe you're having a day like I'm having today where the energy is just wretched. And you just, I just don't, I want to abstain from mirrors today. That's what my energy is giving today. And quite honestly, just got to power through it. Here is the updated self-care routine. Okay. One day a week, no phone. This is what Grace is telling us. Okay. And I'm listening to Grace. That is hard. That is hard. Because I know a lot of us work. A lot of us work from our phones. A lot of us, you know, obviously life gets in the way. I tried to do this one day last week and I almost sent myself into a panic attack because I convinced myself that everyone I love had died and that there was something horrible happening. Hey, it was just Tuesday and I was fine. But I don't know what it is. Like I truly, and I mean this very, very genuinely. And just know that this is something I'm working on. And progress is not linear. I am addicted to my phone. I have, it is a genuine addiction. I have withdrawals when I'm not on my fucking phone. I'm logging minimum eight hours of screen time a day from the moment I wake to when I go to sleep. I am on my cell phone. Most of the time it's about 14 hours and I'm spending on my phone. And it's hard to write like my jobs on my phone. It's not like I can just. Go AWOL, just like drop off the grid. Like I have to be accessible. I run a business. Like I have business relationships and deadlines and friends and family to keep up with. I can't just not be on my phone. How does anyone do that? And it's so much, but like, what am I going to do? Text a bunch of people? Hey, I'm not going to be on my phone today. And what if you don't get that text and you needed something from me? And then I don't respond because I'm not on my phone. I can't do it. It makes me nervous. I cannot not be on my phone. And so I tried it. And honestly, I had a horrible time. I spent a day without my phone. I had a horrible time because I was trying to sit outside and read. And all I'm thinking about is what if so-and-so DM me? Oh, I need to check on that email. I should probably call my mom. Oh, I should really call my grandmother. Shit like that. I just, I'm beating myself up because I'm like, I'm not on my phone. And I'm thinking about all the ways I should actually be using my phone instead of watching. I'm watching ASMR until 4.30 a.m. Fucking idiot. Staying up late watching crunchy waffle ASMR. Because yeah, you bet your ass that's what I did last night. I watched this one girl. She's got one of those tapas squishies. And she sucks on it. That's the ASMR she does. She sucks on this waffle. And I watch it. She goes like. I watch her suck on this fucking plastic waffle until 5 a.m. Because of course I do. And then I call my doctor and I'm like, I think I'm anxious and depressed. I think I'm not getting enough sleep. And I'm staying up too late. Well, why are you staying up late? No reason. No reason, really. Yeah, just tired. Yeah, I just don't sleep that well. No. I'm watching cranial nerve exam. Gynecology exam. Fucking real or fake ASMR. ASMR. 15 minute compilation on loop. I'm watching that shit until the sun rises. And then I go to bed. Then my alarm goes off at 8. I go, oh, another fucking day. Another day. And I wake up and I'm nervous and I'm shaking. And I'm like, a man's coming in July. A man's coming in July and he's going to kill me. And I just looked at the viewfinder and I think I look like Jack Nicholson. What is going on? Oh my God. Welcome back. I'm Jack Nicholson. I'm still in the throes of spiritual psychosis and I'm seeing swans everywhere. Anyway. And some of you girls were like, yeah, I had a manic episode because I was drinking Red Bull too. Don't comment that shit under my videos. I'm in a fragile state of mind. Because I look like Jack Nicholson. I feel like Jack Nicholson. I just really don't know. Actually, you know what I feel like? When Robin Williams in Aladdin goes, here's a thing, Sparky. Because that's Jack Nicholson, right? You got him. And he's got his arm around Aladdin. You got him, Sparky. That's how I feel. Fuck me. I think it's just being on my period. My periods are crazy. My periods are like truly. I know it's that meme online. It's like chain me to a tree and release me when I'm done with my cycle or whatever. When I'm ovulating, I'm that way three months, three weeks out of the month. I get maybe one week where I'm like, I feel normal. The rest of them are, oh my God. And if one more fucking plane flies overhead without requesting permission to fly through my airspace. Okay. Moving on in the self-care routine. Um, one day a week, no phone. Damn near impossible, but I encourage you all to try as much natural light as possible. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Except for me personally, got to sit in the shade. Okay. Now that's, it's a little hard. I've got to take a vitamin D pill because you set me out in the sun for 15 minutes. No SPF. I am a lobster. I'm just pink. I'm just a pink. I am Rufus, the naked fucking mole rat girl. Put him up here. That's what I look like. I am pink and naked. And I've got, I've got, what's that? I call it strawberry skin. I've got damn strawberry skin. Cause my shit's so sensitive. And every time I go to European wax center and they're like, you're not exfoliating. I'm like, and I know that's a full statement. I know you're not asking me. You see it. I'm not exfoliating. And then I come in and I'm like, why is my skin blotchy and infected? What is in the what is in the air today? Astrologically, what is going on today's astrological weather includes a waning crescent moon and a Mercury Neptune trine train expected tomorrow morning. Okay. We're going tried and true cafe astrology. I have to put a fucking hat on. I feel so like, please don't look at me. And while I tried to put this on and rub my damn ointment off, I'm getting pissed off. I tried to put my fucking hat on and rub my damn ointment off. Now, now my lips going to get infected. Now my eczema is going to get everywhere. This week in astrology includes the week's moon phase planets and signs and aspects retrogrades this week's astrology calendar and the void. Of course, moon, moon tables. Moonbeam ice cream taking off your blue jeans, taking off your blue jeans at the movies, getting a public indecency charge because I, I'm a Benson Boonator. I'm, I'm Benson Boonian. What are his, what are his fans called? Benson boonies. Moonbeam ice cream taking off your blue jeans. Is that the lyric? Moonbeam ice cream taking off your blue jeans, dancing at the movies. It's a cinema. It's a fucking cinema. You know what I've been working on? You know, I've been working on my northern accent. It's bad. Ey up. Ey up. Ey up. Sparky, I look like Jack Nicholson. Okay. June 22nd to 28th, 2025. Hallelujah. On this page, this week's moon phase, this week's moonbeam ice cream flavor. Planet, what moon, what is moonbeam ice cream? What is it? Moonbeam ice cream. Moonbeam ice cream. Moonbeam ice cream. It's from Summer Camp Island. on cartoon network they say moonbeam ice cream twice what is moonbeam ice cream oh he's been talking about it and you know what else why did he do that crumble collab crumble cookie collab moonbeam ice cream taking off your benson jeans on the crumble cookie dove x dove soap x crumble cookie x jimmy fallon x sheen x x team you x etsy witch shop etsy okay swans here we go on this page this week's moon phase planets and signs retrogrades let's let's just read it oh god the new moon i don't know that that's twilight new moon is um there's a possibility all that i am is all you're gonna get great song great soundtrack what else is on the new moon soundtrack new moon beam ice cream taking off your blue jeans they should have put neon moon on the moon but i don't think they did they should have put neon moon on the moon on the new moon soundtrack when the sun goes down the red bull kicked in uh oh rosalind by bony vare bro 573 million streams i know that's fucking right okay on wednesday morning june 25th june 25th june 25th 6 31 a.m eastern daylight time the new moon is going to occur uh in the sign of cancer fuck that's right what have we been in gemini it's been gemini huh the new moon and cancer is a good time to commit to personal goals that express the positive energies of the sign of the crab now i've got a cancer moon and the fucking new moon is going to be in cancer oh god i'm gonna cry the whole month of june and maybe that's because i need to get it out because my mystery gentleman's coming in july these include honoring our deepest most irrational and intimate feelings recognizing the sense of security and safety we derive from whatever it is we call home allowing ourselves to accept support and offering support to others and starting a project aimed at improving our domestic lives or a major long-term venture very interesting to me with the potent cancer energy we have the chance to make important changes in our lives that will benefit us beyond the moon cycle it's time to make some plans and set the stage for reaping the rewards from our new beginnings as little or big as they may be in approximately two weeks time after the full moon occurs no one the hell is a full moon supposed to occur concentrate on new ways to enhance family life and domestic affairs and to build up your feelings of security and safety right okay i don't know what any of this bullshit means i need someone to explain it to me like i'm an idiot the new moon aligns with jupiter and harmonizes with mars creating positive and confident energy behind our new beginnings however it also forms a quincunx great word quincunx what the fuck is that you an arrangement of five objects with four at the corners of a square and the fifth at its center what i did not know there was a term for that as much as we want to push ahead with our plans there can be personal obstacles and blocks primarily related to our independence and personal plans as well as nagging concerns and fears in our social lives to manage see it's too vague you even though i was talking some i was talking a little bit of shit on some of the the tiktok tarot readers sometimes they tell you exactly what you want to hear though i'll give them that sometimes i'm like what's happening in july and they'll they'll pull cards and they'll be like someone's coming you need to watch out for x y and z and be on the lookout for so and so and i'm like see that's what i like give me hyper specific readings so that i know what to look for this shit a period of transformation is coming up that's always happening that's everyone's fucking astral astrological horoscope every single day for the rest of time be aware of some transformations we're always transforming yo me transformo yo soy mariposa yo me transformo makeup del drag queen yo me transformo lluvia de estrella yo me transformo that's what rosalia said okay she said i transform i change like a fucking butterfly like makeup of a drag queen like like lluvia de estrella like rain like starfall like rain from a star like a lluvia de estrella what would that be like a falling star anyway yeah she knows okay uh last question last quarter moon i don't give a fuck moon cycle phase i don't care the sun oh the sun is in cancer from june 20th to july 22nd that's right because it's cancer season we are self-protective and insular under this influence our attention turns to our nest to our nest our families homes and anything that makes us feel at home safe and secure maybe here's my bold prediction okay here's my bold prediction okay this is a test for me because i'm going to ireland in august okay i think i've talked about this i think we all know this something is happening i'm gonna meet someone in august that is going to change my life i don't know who it is i don't even know if it's romantic okay i'm just kind of putting this out there something's gonna change and mark mark this time stamp on this episode for when i come back at least i'm gonna be able to do it i'm gonna be able to do it i'm gonna late august early september and i'm like it happened and i don't know what it is but i have a feeling i'm gonna i'm gonna meet a young gentleman that's gonna change my life okay and it's from this reading because i'm i'm getting back in touch with my intuition and i'm getting a lot of tiktoks about my throat chakra and my heart chakra and whatever the fuck these swans mean something is coming and i think the month of june has been and july will be a period of being sure that this is for me okay june something almost came to me and i let it go i let it pass me by because i'm not doing all that again i'm not doing it again okay something something kind of on the oh and i almost caught it and i let it go okay because i'm not fucking doing that because i i know what i i know what i deserve because i know what i deserve and i'm not gonna take anything less than i deserve trust that all these trials and tribulations i'm not gonna have to mark my words i have not suffered at the hands of men for the last 28 fucking years on the gregorian calendar to take the slightest little fancy and whim that comes and like ruffles my feathers do you know what i mean just because a man is nice to you and complimentary and maybe sees the shining light of your aura does not mean that you need to entertain that young gentleman hear me hear me just because someone's nice to you doesn't mean you need to let it don't pursue me leave me alone amen yes church amen leave me the fuck alone unless i'm thinking of a name in my mind unless you're him and i i'm gonna meet this young gentleman actually he's older than me i'm gonna eat i'm gonna excuse me i'm gonna meet this gentleman in august in ireland and i'm i'm letting the universe get creative with the means and how and also who but just know i have been through it enough where i now fully am acquainted with the life style and partner type that i want because forever and ever amen i've prioritized what he wants hey i'll be that for you or i'll make that happen for you because regardless i think i'm gonna have to be the breadwinner in the relationship okay that's fine okay that's fine but don't be threatened by me and don't come in here with any weird feelings towards me because i'm the breadwinner okay don't we're not doing that and because some of these men let me warn you let me warn you about some of these fucking woman panderers that are out there they act like they oh a confident woman who's you know intimidating fucking hate that word intimidating because she's confident and beautiful and intelligent and and competent and like has her Did I say competent twice? Has her life figured out, has a job. And these succubus fucking men come into your life and want you to just take care of them and then resent you for taking care of them. I'm not doing that shit again. And now I know like if there's kind of an imbalance happening up front, leave me alone. Also, these men pursue me first. They pursue me first. And then they get to know me and they realize, and I'm going to talk my shit for a second. They realize that I really am. I'm that motherfucking bitch because I said so. Mourn me by scream breaking in your blue jeans. Because that is what I really do bring. Okay. And then when they realize, oh, I'm the exact same in real life as I am online. They're like, I thought you were going to be, what did you think this was? Anyway, I think some men just can't, they see it as a challenge. They don't see it as like a potential for, you know, what if you're my swan? What if, what if we're swans and we got to entangle our necks and we got to get all close and intimate and you don't want to do that because you're threatened because I make TikToks. Cause that, cause really what are we talking about? Right? Anyway, um, something's happening to me in August. That's what, that's what, that's what Cafe Astrology is about. Just told me. And I also think that, um, I'm getting a lot of my, look, a lot of my tarot says the man there's distance. And regardless, this is something else that I've got. My boobs are sitting weird on my stomach. This is something else that I've like come to terms with going to have to be long distance, right? I travel so much for my job. I'm all over the place. I'm doing whatever. I have never been able to have a healthy balance between my work and my personal life. It's either one or the other. And I, I, I foresee that balance for myself this year because I've worked on it. I've worked on it. And I've said no to things that didn't serve me. And I've said yes to things that do serve me. Wow. Imagine that. And specifically when it comes to men, I truly am embodying this. Like if it's, if it's, if it's, if it's, if it's for me, it'll be easy and shout out to Drew F. Wallow because she's right all the time. She always says that to me. It should be easy. Why is that such a foreign concept? What do you mean? It shouldn't be easy. Right. Oh, you make a great point. Actually, when you say why is it so difficult to comprehend? Okay. Mercury's in cancer. Oh, I did a reading on me and somebody said I paid. I paid $2.99 on CoStar to have it read our compatibility. We're both Tauruses. I don't know how I feel about that. You got two stubborn, big forehead bitches talking to each other, communicating telepathically. Just our foreheads are like shining and emitting, emitting a laser beam at each other. We don't even need to talk. Our mouths are so tiny. We just communicate via forehead. You know, I've started saying via as via. What are y'all think about that? Y'all let me know down there in the comments. Does that make me sound more European? Do I look European? Don't answer that. All right. Mercury's in cancer. Mercury's in Leo from June to September. This is an extended stay due to Mercury's retrograde. Mercury is always in a damn retrograde. Who is anyone keeping tabs on Mercury? That bitch relapsed again. What does it mean to be? What does it mean? Mercury retro? It's moving backwards. It appears to be moving backwards. It's an optical illusion. What does it mean? Astrological. Mercury rules communication, travel, technology, and mental processes. During retrograde, these areas may experience challenges or delays. Well, I'm always having a sort of mental delay until that monk fruit kicks in. It is very intriguing to me that you can watch these episodes and gradually watch. And pinpoint when the caffeine kicks in. Because I pregame these episodes with like a cup of coffee, maybe half of my Red Bull. And then there's a beautiful point when it just climaxes. It's like the scene in Ratatouille where he bites the cheese and the strawberry and the swirls start happening. The room goes dark and shit starts swirling around. You can watch that happen to me in real time. Okay. Does DoorDash deliver Moonbeam ice cream? Okay. Moonbeam ice cream near me. The meaning of swans. Okay. I feel like I'm not satisfied with the swan answer. Significance of seeing swans. You know what else I'm worried about? A lot of these tarot readings are saying someone from my past is going to come back to. If you're in the past, fucking stay there. If you're in the past, stay there. Leave me alone. What did I say? Don't let a man reject you twice. Holy shit. You don't get to come back around and get a second chance. Leave me. That's why I block. That's why I block. Because you don't get to do that to me again. You don't get to come around and decide that it's your timing now. You don't get to do that. So I'm hoping to. And this is what one of my other friends said. If you get a reading that says, oh, you're going to meet someone in July, maybe whatever. Maybe I sound so fucking. Trust I recognize how this sounds. It's just woo-woo-ville. I've left Eddyville and I've landed in woo-woo-ville. And I hope you guys are there to greet me with a big crowd, with signs. We love you. I'm in woo-woo-ville, okay? With all the woo-woo girls. She said, sometimes it's not you meet them, it's your energies open up to each other. Then you meet them later. Okay? So sometimes these tarot readings, these psychics, they get the timing but it will still happen. Okay. The swan has often been seen as a symbol of wisdom and includes awakening the power of self. Awake my soul by Mumford & Sons. By the way, saw Mumford & Sons in concert at the Hollywood Bowl. You want to talk about a euphoric experience. Marcus Mumford is a genius. He's one of my heroes. And that man has a passion for music, live music that rivals like the most savant level musical protege you've ever seen. Like Marcus Mumford is a living legend. I will die on that hill. He has been doing this shit to a degree that is so well done. Not just Marcus Mumford, all of Mumford & Sons, other than the guy who was MAGA who kind of left. Um, they've been doing like just indie folk music so well for damn near 20 years. 20 years. Yeah, 20 years. Just nuts. Uh, they did Awake My Soul. Awake! And I sobbed. I cried my little eyes out at the Hollywood Bowl. They also did Holland Road. They did Whispers in the Dark. They did, um, Babel. They did Rushmere. They did, did they do Woman? And you know what else? Oh my God. Okay, hold on. Let me finish this. Anyway, I love, I love Mumford & Sons. Okay. Awakening the power of self, balance, grace, inner beauty, innocence, self-esteem, seeing into the future, understanding spiritual evolution, developing intuitive abilities, grace in dealing with others, and commitment. In Celtic tradition, the swan represents the soul, our eternal essence. Are you guys paying attention to what I'm saying? The swan, Celtic tradition? My Irishman's, my Irishman's in the pipeline. My Irishman's in the pipeline and I'm tired of ignoring him. I'm tired of acting like he's not out there. He's out there because I've talked about it too damn much at this point. Swans gracefully glide through the water, leaving hardly a ripple behind. Their natural, effortless beauty reminds us to move gently through the currents of life. Swans are the most powerful, most powerful, most powerful, most powerful, and not fight against them. Swans do not dive into the water like other birds when feeding. Rather, they skim the water, dipping their long necks and heads in and out. Water is linked with the feminine intuition and emotion. By following the swan's example, we learn how to view our emotions without getting trapped by them. Wow. Wait. What the fuck? Our intuition and awareness help us comprehend our feelings and the reflection of this assists us to better understand them. Wow, dude. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's sticking with me. I like that. Okay. Moving on. Um, I would like to speak. What the hell have I been talking about for 56 minutes? Truly. It is beyond me. Here's the thing that I also wanted to talk about. I watched, so I finished sex in the city, watched the sex in the city movie. I'm about to watch the second one. Y'all. Can I just say Steve and Miranda are made for each other. Okay. I, I know no one's perfect. I know no one is perfect. Also, just say, actually, let me bitch for a second. Carrie and Big deserve each other as well. Carrie and Big deserve each other. And I almost, me, here's an example, right, of this whole swan bullshit. Three years ago, I would have watched the Sex and the City movie and been like, you know what? Carrie and Big, yeah, that's actually the dream relationship. Like, they're in game. Goals, Carrie and Big, they'll always find each other. They always knew it was each other. Now, I watch that. I watch them do this fuckery, and I'm like, Carrie, stand up. He left you at the altar, and you took him back? You took him back? And you think it's going to get better? That is a relationship on the man's terms. Always, forever. That's what you just betrothed yourself to, a life on his terms. Hope you're happy. Hope you're happy. Always coming second to fucking him. Oh, I was a livid girl. Three years ago, I would have been like, wow, Carrie and Big, goals, goals. Now? Carrie, be alone. Carrie, move on from fucking Big. I mean it. When she was dating Petrovsky, whatever the fuck his name was, she was like, Big's calling me. She was deleting the messages off the answering machine, period. Block his number. I don't know. If you can do that in fucking 2010, block his number. I was starting to get mad. Like, there's really, truly, when you watch a Sex and the City movie, nothing romantic about Carrie and Big. Big is just a psychopath. And Carrie's a fucking psychopath for dealing with it. They're made for each other. Y'all have fun. Okay? They met up in the, this all, oh, I just, it's so, because I know people in relationships like that, and it pisses me off. Because I'm like, y'all both know what you're doing. You know that what you're doing is child. You know that what you're doing is childish, and it's from a place of insecurity, and it's from a place of truly selfishness. Like, you don't actually love that person. You can give lip service. I love you. Oh, I can't believe it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry doesn't mean shit when it's the 50th time you've apologized for the same thing, which is leaving Carrie out to fucking dry, and Carrie crawling back. At a certain point, like, I start to get mad at Carrie, because I'm like, you are allowing this to happen. You are allowing this to happen to yourself, right? Unless we pull ourselves up, and we're like, I deserve better than this. I'm not going to settle for this. I don't accept this. That's when you can actually open the door for something that's meant for you, and something that serves you, and makes you happy, and supports you. But she had that with Aiden, and she didn't accept it with Aiden. That's why I say, her and fucking pig are made for each other. I started to get so mad. And Samantha breaking up with her boyfriend, that was sad. Because, girl, what are you doing? Like, I get it. I get it. I guess it's a different side of the same coin. Like, you have to serve yourself. She was not happy in that relationship, and so she has to serve herself. Period. Carrie and Big, though, I started to get so mad. I literally, the movie ends, and they're, like, together. And I literally, I looked at the, I was like, I know I'm supposed to probably be crying. I'm like, yeah, Carrie, I'm with them. Oh, they ended up together in the end. I was mad. The movie ended, and I was like, okay. Sure. And Steve and Miranda. Yeah, y'all are made for each other, too. Just. Anyway. Watch the second movie. The first movie was good. It was good, okay? All the Paris stuff, the whatever. Like, it was so, or no, they were back from Paris by that point. That was the end of the series. The movie was them getting married and whatever. Yeah. It was so fun until it wasn't. Also gave me really big Lisa McGuire movie vibes. So, just wanted to throw that out there. Here is something I wanted to bring up. I will be at Reading and Leeds. Yes, I'll be at Reading and Leeds. Am I singing? No. Am I going to be on the Ox stage? Yes. At both Reading and Leeds. I will be with Max, my landing, and Charlie Marlowe, my northern queen. Come see me. That is going to be in late August. August 22nd and 23rd, I believe. I will be there. I will be in the godforsaken towns of Reading and also Leeds. And honestly, very excited. I'm very, very excited. I've never been that far north. That's a lie. I've been to Liverpool. But, very excited nonetheless. Next up is, I've got a new perfume that I'm really, really loving. It's Oud Wood by Tom Ford. That's my signature scent. I know, I love the Maison Louis Marie one, number two. Le Long Fond. That is my favorite perfume ever. Oud Wood is getting up there. Oud Wood sits so nicely on the skin, and it really attaches to clothing. Like, eight hours later, I'm still smelling like it. I love it. And, okay. Now, let's talk about what I really wanted to talk about, which is Songs of the Week. And if you've been living under a rock, let me lift the rock up for you. Song of the Week is Rain Me In by Sam Fender and Olivia Deen. Of fucking course it is. Have you heard it? Nothing brave and walking alone. She's so good. And she's been opening for him. I had no idea. I love Olivia Deen. Okay. I wanted to just kind of throw that out there because I've watched that clip probably 150 times. It is so damn good. And they just released the studio version and the live at the London, is it the Palladium? Where did they play? It's live in London. And they released all these versions of it. I love. I'm completely addicted to it. The next song is Higher Ground by Stevie Wonder. Been listening to that a lot lately. Get into that. Maybe by Janis Joplin. I'm pretty sure that's been on this list before. It's still so good. Also, I'm talking fast because I feel the diarrhea churning in my gut. So I'm kind of going to, I got to wrap this up. Next is Killa by Kingfisher. Get into Kingfisher. From the, hold on, let me play it. To the arms of my mother. From the woods of great power to the river to soar. From the arms of my mother to the land of the pure. Okay, here we go. From, from, from the woods of glen bower. From the woods of glen bower to the river to soar. To the arms of my mother to the land of the pure. Sorry. Anyway, love that song. And who else have I been? Obviously Fontaine's DC is still in the rotation. Skinty Fia by Fontaine's DC, both the album and the standalone song. Some of my favorite. It is one of my favorite projects ever put out. I love that fucking album. I love Romance by Fontaine's DC. I love Dog Girl. I love Hero's Death. All of them. They are so damn good. Green Chattin' is one of my heroes. Like it's gotten to a level that's, I'm about to shit myself. I'll talk to you next week. Bye. Bye. Thank you.