Money and Dating for a New Generation

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That's code mrsdowjones50off at factormeals.com. See website for more details. The other day I was going through my desk and I found a journal right from when I graduated and it had pen and paper how much I spent each day. At this time, I think I was making around $40,000 and access cash flow was pretty tight. So I had to watch every penny. I think about how far we've come with technology and advancements. To help us with this stuff. We don't need a journal with pen and paper anymore. The answers are out there. And Monarch is one of those answers. Monarch is literally, it's like having a financial advisor in your pocket. So you can use AI to help see what you're spending. Monarch will help you have full visibility in your accounts. It will help you see your trends. It will help you set goals, map out big purchases. See if you're actually on track to where you wanted to be. You can ask Monarch. Monarch's AI assistant. Anything about your finances. Like, hey, how much should I spend on travel last summer? Can I afford this vacation without touching my savings? You can spot things you wouldn't think about before. Like, oh, hey, has my spending gone up or just inflation? I was using pen and paper. Now you can use tools like a full financial advisor in your pocket. And that's called Monarch. So what you want to do is you want to go to monarch.com. Use code trading. The first year of Monarch Core. Half off at just $50. That's 50% off your first year. Just go to monarch.com with code trading. So you put $100K of your own money into producing this special. Give or take, yes. My worst purchase of all time was the Kimo Sabe hat I bought in Aspen. How much was it? $500? You're being too kind. Oh, like $1,200. Stop. Like crazy. I think maybe, no, $1,500. Being in a relationship is an act of delusion. You need to be delusional enough to believe that you and this person are a love that can last forever. I have sent the post-shooting text to someone I've had a relationship with. You've sent the post-shooting text? It is crazy. It says a lot about the times we're in. This is Financial Tea. What's up, zippers? Welcome back to the Financial Tea. This is the podcast where I teach you how to build wealth with a side of market drama, money scandals, and, of course, financials. Financial pop culture. And today is a very exciting day in the studio because we have Jared Freed, comedian, podcaster, and Netflix star because his new special, The Family Plan, is out. It's so good. I was truly dying laughing. I feel like it's made for millennials. It just really hits you where it hurts. Thank you. And also my old neighbor, which I feel like we don't talk about enough. Yes, we lived at Soho. We lived at 180. No, Ludlow Street. Ludlow. Is that right? Was that Soho? No, that's Lower East Side. Lower East Side. That's where it was. Lower East Side. My one year on the Lower East Side. I loved it down there. So we always start with a few rapid fire questions. I think you're the first person I've ever heard say that getting the ick is only women get the ick and it's not relatable to men. And so if we were going to take gender out of the equation, can you give us your biggest financial ick in dating and your biggest financial turn on? My financial ick would be a lack of passion. Oh, that's a good one. I like women with like careers and love their jobs. And, you know, like I never related to like the idea of a woman with like a great job intimidating a man. I never related to that. Lawyer, doctor, you know, my girlfriend, she's a wealth manager. Like that's hot. I like a woman with passion and a career and just killing it. Like that really turns me on. What is the most that you've ever spent? On a date? Like, have you ever done like full like, oh, my God, say send in the black car. Like, here's your I would never send a black car. Do you say are you like, well, I would send a woman home in a black car. That's I think that's a that's a fun touch. Yeah. Hook up. Yeah. It's like I got the Uber. But the one time I'll never forget it. I was going on a date with someone and my friend is like the restaurant guy. He knows all the rest. Yeah. And he was like, you got to go to this place in the West Village. It's like highly rated all this. And I didn't even look it up. I just like went and I took this girl. It was like literally like a first date. And it was so embarrassing. I the name escapes me. It's tell me about it. Maybe it was a Swedish fancy place in the West Village, like deep in the West Village. And I remember I remember sitting down and being like, this does not match. Yes. What we're doing. Yes. On a first date. Like this should have been drinks. I and I were having tiny meatballs. It should be something shareable. And this was like, you know, silver platter in front of you. Silver platter in front of me. Well, dinner is served. And I was like, I am so embarrassed. And I remember I went to my friend who's married and he knows all the restaurants. And I was like, why would you send me there? Because the only thing I saw on the menu is they had a pretzel. And he goes, what did you think? I would send you to a restaurant with a pretzel on a hook like you're at a Dave and Buster's. I'm like, yes, that's where you send someone. Who's going on a first or second date? Like this was like early date. And I felt so weird on the first like you don't need for the first three months. That's what Cardi B says. I would eat. I mean, I would be I want a girl eating on those first three. Oh, what would we relate on? What would we talk about? OK. And then what is the best and worst purchase you've made this week? And how much did each cost? Because I know that you've been going all around town. You're promoting a special. The best purchase would probably be. The five dollar posies that like it's like, you know, those like little white flowers in the when you walk into Trader Joe's. Yeah. When you walk into Trader Joe's, they have that flower stand. There's one little tiny thing. Five bucks. If you're a guy who's in a relationship, I don't think for dating this will work because for dating, it looks like you're trying to pull a grift. But if you're a guy who's in a relationship, you're committed with someone and you say, I'm going to Trader Joe's. And you come home with that five dollar little pansy white, you know, fluffy, fluffy things. That five dollars gets you so much mileage as a good boyfriend. The great ROI. Let no better ROI than the five dollar. Whatever that five dollar flower at the front of Trader Joe's. If you come home with it, if you bring it back. Oh, I got the the shrimp crisps and the on the salsa and the chips. Oh, and. Oh, look at that. I remember. Here are some posies. They're going to react as if you brought back the head of a lion to your cave and you have done the greatest thing on earth. So that's the best purchase. And do you have a worse purchase? The worst purchase this week. My worst purchase of all time was the Kimo Sabe hat I bought and asked. No, let's like dig into that a little because the Kimo Sabe of it all, like they really that is a grift. Where they're like, you're an Aspen. You need to buy. How much was it? Five hundred. So you're you're being too kind. It's the Kimo Sabe experience is. By the way, there's like pictures of Rihanna meeting Jeff Bezos at Kimo Sabe. Like it is. And he's on a horse. Yes. He's on a horse. Like, I'm not even like he's you can find this picture. Jeff Bezos walks into Kimo Sabe on a horse. Here's the thing about Kimo Sabe. It is you have to treat it as if you are. Walking into a used car dealership because the women working there are all like pretty and cute. You want a shot? Yeah. And then you're like, yeah, why wouldn't I want a shot? And they have shots ready made. No, Carlos and Charlie's. No, they do a shot ski. You're taking a shot ski. And I remember walking in being like, there is no way I am ever going to walk out of here. New Yorker with a stupid cowboy hat. Yeah. And then I took one shot. The girl put a beer in my hand and she goes, just put it on. And I put it on. I go. And she's like, it isn't bad. They even know how to talk to you to make you feel good because they'll go, you know, I don't hate it. They go, yeah, I don't hate it. I didn't think it would work. Yeah. And you're like, I don't know. I'm not going to be that guy. And then they go, try the other one. And by the end of that experience, you know, it's like I've always said this about massage massage places. Oh, I love a massage place. Love a massage place. But all a masseuse has to do. do to make me feel like it was worth the money is to whisper in my ear, oh you really needed this yes oh my gosh 100 to give you yes you were really tight you don't you were yes they need to give you like the little like the something at the end the rationalization i need to do it at like a juice bar place if i don't feel well i'm like what's good for the flu and they're like oh this is gonna cure you all they have to do one yes like one touch yes of helping you rationalize and it's like that gets you the bigger tip that gets me the better experience i'm coming back i would actually go into a massage parlor and not get a massage and then just have them go you look tight and then i would walk out and i would feel better i would pay 20 bucks for that five dollars so they do that at kimosabe they do the so they juice you they liquored you up they liquor you up they put the hat in your head they go ah they go i didn't think it would work but like it's not bad and then they put another one on you and they go no oh no you can't wear that they've got it down and then they put another one on on by the end of it you're going do i get rabbit or beaver and do i need both right well then you start going rabbit doesn't last as long so it's a better purchase to get the beaver because that will last you longer and i do want to have this hat forever at my wedding and my retirement party so i will this is a lifetime purchase and it's something i'll be wearing every day yeah it was the dumbest use of money but again it's those asps it's the air and aspen aspen air right wait so how much is a hat oh like 1200 bucks stop like crazy i think maybe no 1500 where is it now 1500 because then you start putting the accoutrements you put the belt it's like getting a crock with all the gibbets yeah oh yeah you gotta get you can't just get a hat now you gotta get the the gator belt around it you gotta get the feather and that comes free so whoa we're getting it for free i gotta do it then hey we'll put some we'll burn some letters underneath the cat you know the cab and it's for free you go free why not oh you got a couple beers and a couple shots in you and you're like listen i'm an aspen baby yeah and that's that's the problem with any vacation mindset is like i'm never gonna be back here but let's go back to your special because something that i actually found it to be really rooted in finances obviously family plan it's about being on your family phone plan but also even within the special you talk about uh you know how were the first millennials or the first generation to earn less than their parents and so puts us in the position where we are reliant on them and in some way or form i don't think i think some way or form you're more reliant on your parents than maybe your parents were reliant on their parents yes exactly quits makes elevated everyday essentials using premium materials like mongolian cashmere organic cotton and washable silk 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into all my routines eating healthy the balance meals with factor it's really my non-negotiable set factor makes chef crafted dietitian designed ready to eat meals so you don't have to choose between real food and convenience factor meals are ready in two minutes and require no prep and no cleanup so even on the days your schedule is completely out of control eating well is still achievable 97 of users agree that factor meals help them live a healthier life so you can feel confident that you're already doing something good for yourself just with every meal i love their salmon burgers and their protein shakes they are the perfect start to long work days let's eat real head to factor meals.com slash mrs dow jones 50 off and use code mrs dow jones 50 off to get 50 off and one free breakfast item per box for one year while supplies last until 10 31 20 26 that's code mrs dow jones 50 off at factor meals.com see website for more details with this like grim reality that millennials are not able to live a healthy life they're not able to are the first generations who are gonna do material worse than our parents how do you think that affects our dating lives because you know there's a lot of data now that you know dating is so much harder than when our parents were young the rate of single adults has been climbing so i'm just curious if you think there's a tie to that yeah of course you know there's a thing called the hope index i think hope index in the u.s is like very low i don't know the number i but i'm referencing something like i don't think we live in hopeful times no so if you don't believe that your career track is taking you towards the ability to have the things in life that you'd like it's way better to live as a renter in everything than it is to live as a buyer who's stuck in something that maybe they wouldn't be able to afford in the future yeah and being in a relationship is a version of buying so so interesting i love that right that's why millennials like you know we do a lot of blaming everyone for like oh we can't buy homes but a lot of that is our own like fear yeah of ability to earn later in life and you know the boomers aren't exactly retiring they're working forever so again you're now being held gen x you know millennial being held in kind of one space with no upward trajectory really in sight i could understand how why you know how hard it would be to say does it make you feel confident yeah and and being in a relationship is an act of delusion you need to be delusional enough to believe that you and this person are going to be in a relationship forever and you know so interesting it's so true do you feel like that with your girlfriend oh i feel that way with everyone i've dated that you need a good mix of logic and delusion to be in a relationship or to be single you kind of have and i i think as i was single later in life i got more logical and less delusional and how did that look like what how did that materialize well because you go i'm not gonna dive in with someone to let them down in the future because the odds of us being something real is very low why it hasn't worked before why would it work now you know and you become safer you become safer not to hurt other people in the way you've hurt people in the past because maybe you dated someone like for my case i was someone who ended relationships so i would be in positions where i'd end things before the next step so the ending before you knew this is not going to go anywhere i don't want to disappoint them i wasn't a delusional enough about yeah the the relationship itself to push through to the next level and that's a that's a measure of logics that you know of going ah you know what you know i can just there's way less asked of me as a single person there's not a lot of asked of you as a single person it's it's expensive today but cheaper in the long run i mean yeah it's very expensive to be single but also like you buy a lot of freedom right well it's cheaper emotionally you have so much cheaper emotionally you know i think something that's similar between us and our work is that we've both had a lot of takes and opinions on dating over the years obviously mine about finances but yours about you know interpersonal dynamics and i shared a lot of those while i was single you did too and now you're in a relationship i'm in a relationship too and do you feel like any of your advice are you confronting it for the first time and do you feel like it's you know actually holding up i never like i tried my best to not to stay away from like telling people what to do i would always tell people what i felt in the moment so like you know for me in a relationship i'm i'm not really faced with my advice as much as i'm faced with new emotional spaces oh interesting you know i'm more faced with like oh this feels good to be in a relationship but to share this with someone it feels you know oh my god i gotta you know when i talk on a podcast or do my material how i care for someone else and how i you know think about that you know how i put that out there that's all stuff that like is new to me and like worth acknowledging and you know there is such a jump from when you're dating someone to when you are in a relationship and i feel like you really feel it financially because there's you know when you're dating someone maybe you're taking them out to dinner and like you're you're saying it's a cute touch at the end of the day to send them home in a black car all those things but then as you relationships become more realistic and it does become you know you're actually splitting groceries maybe you're splitting rent like it's almost more industrial and so can we talk about how you see that transition happening in relationships with finances and do you have any feelings about how you can make it smoother because i feel like it can be difficult i definitely difficult because money's so emotional yeah i i like my kind of going policy has been to just be curious you know like when you do coaching like i'm sure it's a lot of questions yeah it is you know like you have to know everyone's financial position is like it's a lot of questions and it's a lot of questions and it's a lot of questions and it's a lot of questions and it's a lot of questions and it's a lot of questions and it's a lot of and to save and to spend and how they feel about saving and spending so like Like, I think just a lot of questions like I just like our our first question was like I was like, how much are you paying in rent? Like that was like a little bit of an easier thing because it kind of got the ball rolling. But like just understanding, like, you know, everyone has so many insecurities around money. You know, again, like who's on the family plan? No one answers like that's an insecurity. That's I don't know what that is, but I think questions, curiosity, be curious. That's my my policy. That's really good advice. I think that's such a great way into these money conversations that are so difficult versus being like, hey, we need to talk about this thing. Being like, oh, like, how do you feel about this? Right. And it doesn't have to be just numbers. It's just feeling, you know, like the numbers, you know, they can be tough because. And the other thing is some people just don't know their numbers and are embarrassed. They don't know those. Yeah. Like they get embarrassed. So how much you spend on groceries a month? I have no idea. Is it a Trader Joe's month? Is it a whole? Whole Foods month? I just think it's like worth acknowledging how emotional it is and how tough it is. Like, yeah, you know, college, you know, college debt like that's an emotional thing. You know, talk about generationally like if you're you have college debt for a degree you're not really using. Yeah, there's just like so many. There's so much to this credit card debt for a credit card that you got pushed into getting maybe at that first fair in college, like just all these things, because it's such a it's an industry that definitely benefits off of people's ignorance. So, right. And it's never taught. OK, but back to the special, you self-produced it, so you put 100K of your own money into producing the special, give or take. Yes. Yeah. So how do you decide to make that investment? I know it took a long time from concept to actually getting it out. Like, walk us through this, because, well, I would love to know how much a comedian actually makes from that book special. Well, you could there's two ways to have a special. It either gets leased or it gets it gets you. You make it and then they lease it from you for two years, which is the deal I have, which is two hundred twenty thousand. I also made a deal with Betches to be the co-producer so that they would promote it. So that's so smart. Well, it was the thinking was at a minimum, Betches would push out wherever it went and maybe that would help me to sell it. Maybe that would help me just in general. It wouldn't get seen by nobody just off of my ability to go on podcast. So it was really an. Act of insecurity as far as like, well, if no one buys this, what's the bottom? What can I assume the bottom to be in the bottom being that that is a huge media company that I love being somewhere that could promote it to their fans that already have a relationship with me? So but then that means giving them like 50 percent of the of the of what's left of the 220. But also, you know, you got to hire PR people, you got to hire. You know, there's other costs. I go to L.A., I come to New York, I live in Delray Beach. So, you know, as far as the money from the special, that's it for me. Like, it's not really special to me was a way to find new people. Like, I want people to watch an hour of me and go, I got to go see him live. You know, it's kind of like the music model. Come see me live as opposed to buying the album. Like, let me put it out on Netflix on a huge platform. Hopefully it catches fire and I'm proud of it, I guess, like the advice to anyone who's doing stand up. Producing their own special is you better be able to, like, be proud of it. Like I you know, every comedian knows the jokes that work 100 percent of the time and the ones that work 50 percent of the time. If you have a special that you're like, I you know, maybe it's not worth putting that much money into it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You have to be real with yourself. You have to do your diligence on the investment. Like, oh, if I'm going to put 100K into this thing, is it actually that's that's how I feel about the S&P 500, because it's like, you know, 100 percent of the time you keep your money. And for 20 years you're going to make money. Right. But you got to have the you know, you have to have the the risk tolerance. Totally. And the time frame. Right. You should be able to say goodbye to the 100K for that period. And see the 100K to go down to 80K in the first day and then go, I'll be fine. Yeah. And that's the same with the special. I have to be able to see, you know, the bottom is Betches putting out my YouTube special and going, I'll be fine, you know, because I believe in the material. So much that if anyone watches it, they're going to go, I got to see more of this guy. There you go. It is. I saw it. OK, so I think that you being a comedian, it's sort of this black box, like the financial reality of it. So I would love for you to talk through for our listeners some of the ways that you make money. Obviously, you're super successful now. You have your Netflix special, you tour, you have your podcast, you work with Betches. But let's go back a little bit. You know, what was the. The lifestyle and financial reality when you were building and starting out and where are you out sort of now? I mean, the reality was that. You know, you start to me, I considered it grad school like I I'm lucky enough where I was like I can spend, you know, I was working doing life insurance annuities, financial planning stuff for like four years, three or four years, and I was like, this isn't for me. And I was like, I can you know, it was kind of the twenty five, twenty six where everyone's like, you know, you have that friend that's going to law school. Yeah. And you have to be, you know, the friend that went to law school is probably doing like doing OK, has a good, you know, backing a family, too. Yeah. So I had like literally like bar mitzvah savings in my bank account where I was like, OK, this would have gone towards going to college. Yeah. Or in some way or form. And I was like, let me put this towards taking classes and getting good at comedy, like sketch writing. I'll go to UCB. I did sketch writing at UCB, which was that at the time it was like tough to get in their improv class. I did Chicago City Limits for improv. I did storytelling with a guy named Adam Wade, who's like a fantastic storyteller. Unbelievable. So even then you invest in your human capital. Yeah. So like I'm going to put money towards building my skills here. I've got some natural talent and I'm going to refine it and learn how to do this really well. Yeah. I wanted to get good at it. Yeah. And I went to open mics every night. And, you know, the reality of that was like I was very lucky that I could do it in a way that was like very much like I'm going to go 100 percent all day long on this. So like, you know, that was really the reality then. And then like I was looking for really any opportunity I could get like, you know. As far as like ways to be funny for money, whether it was shows or like, you know, there were like weird opportunities would come up where you can write tweets for a celebrity. Yeah. You know, I would write tweets for guys that, you know, that wanted to be funny at their, you know, whatever charity tournament and get stuff like that. So really figuring out, but also knowing like what my day to day was like, I knew what it took me on a monthly to live. And I was like, and then I, you know, over time, you're like, OK, what are. Ways to get myself out there and then podcasting at the time, it really wasn't a place to make money. Like as ads are concerned, it was really a way to talk directly to fans and I wasn't really getting cast in anything. So I was like, here's a way that I can like put my word out there and then I can also write and put myself on like I would put myself on. I would send like material to like places to put my name out there. Oh, you can follow Jared Freed and the social media started getting more and more. So that was really the beginning of like do. And then starting the podcast, I went to like. I remember Total Frat Move was like posting my stuff and I was like they had a million Twitter followers and I was like, hey, do you guys want to? I went and met with them when I was on a bachelor party in Austin and I was like, do you guys want to like do a podcast? And they were like, what's a podcast? I was like, perfect. Yeah. And then I was like, you promote it. I'll find a production place and then I'll. You know, I'll host it. And so we started that and we were like really teaching that audience about podcasting. Yeah. And then I always. I was like, if women just got into podcasting, I think I have a show that women would like because we were doing dating advice. And then that's how I met Betches, because I started like sending them tweets and things that they could post and just really looking to get out there and hoping for someone to go, whoa, this guy's writing is really good. We'll get them involved with this or, oh, you submit for this show. That never really happened. More what happened was the world kind of came to me. Yeah. People started doing ads on podcasts, you know. I was doing this yelling at The Bachelor. Oh, that was great. I love that. That was getting attention where people were like watching my stories as if it was a show I was putting on. So like, that's kind of the way it worked out. Quite entrepreneurial, though. Like where you did sort of build it and then they came where you're like, OK, you got an audience. I'll do the podcast thing. Like, let's go. Yeah, it's all. I think comics are like the hardest working people that don't work hard at all. Yeah. No, you work so hard. But, you know, going back to this, you're talking about. Finding your audience and how you thought, you know, women were interested in dating. How did you sort of break into that being your niche? You do it in a way that's so relatable to audiences. I was just doing what I do. And the idea that women would like what I do was like kind of a surprise. But I've always gotten along with, you know, just like the debate. Like I've always had women come to me for dating talk in general. And then the show worked better when that just came on. You know. I would have them as guests. And they were like, we like a podcast. we want to start one of these and I hooked them up with producers to like help them start theirs and then when they called me in they're like hey let's do a show or do the male female point of view and that's us you upstarted I want to get back to dating because we all love your takes on that so what sort of money realities have surprised you when you've been out on the field I I think for me it was always hard to date someone you know I think it was way harder to date someone who was young with money oh you know I think like when someone's young and comes from money I think that was always like a more difficult dating scenario because you know that would put a rush on kind of what I was doing and I couldn't kind of provide that way I noticed that like when I was dating around you know I'm doing comedy I'm like 20 7 28 and around that age you know I think that's like when you're 27 28 I've always believed you can always cancel on a 25 year old woman or a 34 year old woman because they're like thank god it's a 25 year old woman she's like I'll go hang with my friend yeah I got a whole group the 34 year old's like I'll take a bath yeah totally you can't you will you will rue the day you cancel on a 29 year old because she's faced with like a whole group where people especially when you're dating and you're taking it seriously like you got the ones that are starting to get married and engaged you got the ones that are getting left behind you're like I don't want to be the left behind one I want to be a married engaged one and it was always tough for me because I could see that when I was dating someone around that age or that I was around that age especially because I was I wasn't dating you know younger or whatever I was dating my age and you could see that like I was like I can't do the next financial step and feel comfortable about where my life is yeah and I think that gets underrated I think that gets vilified on the male side and you know I do think men want you know they want to provide they want to feel like they are valuable I think everyone wants to feel valuable and I think you know part of what makes a man feel valuable is the ability to do the next thing and be running towards the next step and I always wanted that I wanted to like sprint towards the next step and women find indecision horribly unattractive so the oh you know what do you want to do yeah I don't know I can't commit like that's all not hot to a woman so for me it was always like I could always just feel that and I think with people who were like I don't know I don't want to do that I don't want to do that I don't like used to a certain lifestyle I think they were also not willing to go through the the grind of it all do you think that they would you have felt comfortable with a woman supporting you though like if you had met a like one of those young girls with money no because then you know what do they say about dating a rich person date someone with money expensive thing you'll ever pay every day yeah yeah I never wanted to be in that situation some people do some people go yeah yeah I'd rather have two houses I have a friend like that right she's like looking for it and I celebrate it I'm like okay you know what you want right I think I don't know if a man would be celebrated as hard because he'd be like well what is this guy doing yeah you know he doesn't work he's a comedian who hasn't had anything happen for him yeah you know like it's like not a great look and not a great like too I wanted to feel fulfilling yeah you know did you know that three out of four U.S. homes have toxic chemicals in their tap water and what's crazier is that even though contaminated water looks clear it could put you at risk for crazy health concerns like fatigue and hormone disruption and cognitive decline I mean even cancer so that's why I want to talk to you about Aquatrue it is this countertop water purifier and it has been tested and certified to remove 84 contaminants including gram-4 chemicals and microplastics it has this patented four-stage reverse osmosis system that goes way beyond ordinary filters Aquatrue has been featured in Business Insider and Popular Science so go to Aquatrue.com now for 20% off your purifier using code FINANCIALTEA and Aquatrue even comes with a 30-day best tasting water guarantee that's Aquatrue.com A-Q-U-A-T-R-U.COM okay guys when I first started Mrs. Dow Jones I was selling a lot of merch and it was a business idea that I was sitting on and then I set up Shopify and it made it so easy to get started because they truly have everything you need to start selling and you're ready from day one including the moment your first customer is ready to pay Shopify checkout helps more customers finish their purchases and when they come back their details are already saved so it's just one tap and you're ready to go and you're ready to go and you're ready to go and you're ready to go and they're done and that's because Shopify handles the setup and the checkout so you have more time to focus on growing your business and the tools to do it Shopify has been so helpful in Mrs. Dow Jones and making the business more accessible and I just like really loved using them when I had that store they power millions of businesses worldwide from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to small businesses just getting started so go to Shopify.com slash financial tea for your free trial that's Shopify.com slash financial tea to start your free trial Shopify.com slash financial tea so you say though that maybe like something that holds people back from taking the next step in relationships is financial readiness especially when you're a man but I feel like that's never the reason that's given when you're broken up with it's always like something else and so do you think that you don't think they give that reason have you have you broken up with a girl and been like it's because I'm not rich enough I would think it's like I'm not ready I'm not and nobody's saying that's so I think that's like what a guy is saying when he's like I'm not ready I'm not ready I'm not ready I'm not ready when he's saying he's not ready you oh interesting I think that would be right how long have you been with your boyfriend uh for five months five months yeah how did you guys meet unhinge unhinge what does he do he works in finance works in finance could you see yourself dating someone that didn't work in finance I mean I've dated comedians I've dated like so many different kinds I like I dated people who I thought were interesting which then led me towards people who were often broke well that is the thing you laugh but that's so funny but that's funny that like you know you're asking they never say it up front that they weren't financially ready to you know be ready for that but like you like you would be a tough person to date in that scenario yeah I know I think it was definitely intimidating for a lot of guys like because also because there's this idea that maybe if you date mrs dow jones you have to be super rich right but also mrs dow jones goes to the house in martha's vineyard family though family money yeah got to keep up you've seen you're not going to live a lifestyle I would it would be tough to believe that your lifestyle is going to be any lower than your parents while dating you but went to summer camp yeah no no I'm saying all these things like private school private school yeah so like all the you vacation right so it's like I think like from the perspective of like no it's a big pill to swallow you gotta want to go there but I also think that what's different is that I will put my own oxygen mask on first like I've never looked to someone I've never gone on a date and been like great this is who's gonna pay for it I'm like how am I gonna pay for it right but you've also had like the backing oh of course no no I just think like that's also in like it's a cause and effect thing like you have the money so you can be more confident about money yeah so like I I think if like I just think like the idea of like why don't men get in front of each other and like front of whether they're I think a lot of men believe they could be in a date in a relationship like they're like I think it gets it's easy to be like well he said he wanted to be in a relationship then all of a sudden he doesn't no now he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you you know we dated we saw each other it was great now I'm being face to face with the reality of stepping into this future the reality of stepping in this future is finding out that oh my god I gotta date someone who has all these things going on that I don't think I can keep up yeah you know and I don't think I can keep up with the track that's laid in front of me while also again you dated comedians no I did I remember I was dating this guy who lived in Bushwick with like three roommates and we went to the bodega and I got a Pellegrino and he like thought it was the craziest thing in the world like and it was I didn't that factors in yeah you getting the Pellegrino not a big deal not a big deal not a big deal in the scheme of life no but it is a personality yeah it's like oh like there was a difference in our yeah how we spent money right if he looks at a Pellegrino and goes oh my god that's like a different life yeah you know so I think that's different that's a bridge to a new world totally so first you drink the Pellegrino then you're in the Hamptons next thing you know you slip and you slide you're in Kimo Sabe well next thing you know you're not you you're being told why are you being a comedian it's not working out yeah you need to go get a job where you can put money put food on the table what are you doing you lose kind of the ownership over your own life I'm sure you felt this dating a bit where it's like you have a big digital footprint where you talk a lot about dating right so what did that impact it made it harder to like go to the next level with someone because I have to talk honestly about my life and I think what would happen was I date someone and I'd get to a point where I wasn't ready to jump through the next step but I was still dating someone and you go on a podcast and you talk about your dating life it would feel like I was lying to someone yeah even though we were like on the same page we communicate it doesn't matter how much you're communicating with someone hey you and I were in this space and I'm not ready for the next thing and they're like no I'm cool I I just like to know that you're off the apps and oh yeah I'm off the apps and then you go on a podcast and you're like yeah so single life and now you're like I I would feel badly it would make my stomach turn so it was hard for me to find the timing of it all to get someone to go to the next how did you know with your partner now like I I feel like it was impacted a little bit too by you clearly are attracted to her ambition and like her stability she and I dated years ago oh wow and I had to end it because I just wasn't there and I you know how old were you when you guys dated 37 oh wow 30 no 38 38 and then I was just I wanted to be there I wanted to have the confidence to go to the next step but I just didn't have I said to her you know and then we didn't talk for two and a half years so now that your career is in a like this like awesome place now is that where you got the confidence from like no I think it was more assessing what I wanted from life I spent two and a half years we didn't talk we were it wasn't a you know she I I wrote a book the the red flag walking red flag the book not telling you how to date it was getting you inside the mind of the red flag you might be dating yeah and why can't he give you answers what so it was being it was a vulnerable storytelling book where I'm like here's how I felt in this scenario and a few of those stories were about us her and I and was looking back at it so I had been thinking about her and then she ended up reaching out to me and I was like I was like literally debating whether I would text her or not that's so interesting yeah I I like to think that it's uh like I think the messiness of our story is beautiful like I I think it's what makes it interesting I think it's what it's worth telling because you know I I'm really uh I really have a lot of uh I'm thankful that she had you know the the confidence that I didn't you know a lot of people look at texting someone that used to date as like a negative or maybe they could say it but I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know what it is and you know they'd sound like a smart person but like I think trying is the most admirable thing of all so as far as relationships are concerned as far as putting out a special and paying for it yeah if it didn't work out at least I tried you know and you know I put a lot of effort into everything I do and then it's the coolest thing in the world is to try it I like and to totally eat shit and take the risk that that might happen is the coolest thing in the world like being apathetic is really it will lead to depression I think yeah well yeah well you gotta yeah I will say the weirdest text I've ever sent to an ex is I had a ex who worked at Blackstone and they had the shooter that came there and I was like fuck like do I text him like that's really scary and I was like I think I asked chat gbt like how do I text my ex who like there was a active shooter in his office building we did not get back together I think he was like yeah it was really scary like thanks for reaching out yeah I think that's like an adult like like you were worried about him it's okay you can worry about someone you don't want to get back together with I'm like just so it's clear like this is not like a getting back together text just want to make sure you're cool like I have sent the post shooting text to someone I've had a really you've sent the post shooting it is crazy that that's it says a lot about the times but it is crazy to me there was I don't want to like what was the shoot like what was the shoot it was just a tragedy it was horrible I was but it's crazy that I relate to that because I texted someone that I had been on dates with yeah and was like I just want to make sure like yeah you and you do it's crazy because this is the humanity of it like this is where like a lot of my date you know if I'm to be accused of anything it's to be too empathetic to the villain yeah not the villain in the shooting that's I'm not empathetic to them I'm not empathetic to them I'm not empathetic to them I'm not empathetic to them I'm not empathetic to them to my own like to what you're saying of like what do I send the text to someone yeah where you're thinking of yourself and you're like I don't want to seem this way but also there was a huge fucking tragedy yeah but that's everybody yeah like I think that's a more human thing that the the losers in the comment section will they'll go what a oh he's thinking about yourself yeah when it comes to the shooting or yeah you know or whatever like it's but that is a real life that's why I love hearing real stories where I go well because the dating is so weird because you get really close to someone and then you're supposed to just be like never talk to them again and if you do talk to them again then you're desperate and then you don't know if they want to talk to you again totally in our parents generation it was more of a straight line from dating to relationship to marriage to babies to house where we have these kind of zigzag routes so it's like you know the situation is like you're going to have a relationship is a product of an extra four years the age of first marriage versus a decade ago is four years older that's a huge number it's huge to jump yeah so you go what do you do with that you gotta fuck yeah so you're gonna have you're gonna have a lot of weird conversations so you know on that trail of girls who might be involved in a shooting that you have that you have to be like hey I am worried about you I hope you're okay but I also don't want to yeah yeah here's a picture of me and my new girlfriend by the way you good girl right it's crazy like it's crazy that's why this conversation is a bone to be chewed on you know like I it is a worthwhile conversation because but it's it's funny how it gets shouted down like that story is like very funny to me yeah it's so funny I also love but I think that's something that you do so well is you give us a purview into that male vulnerability and like thoughtfulness because so much of the uh what's talked about with men with dating is like oh like he's doesn't care or like there's no feelings or just you know and like you you make it so human well also and even the stuff that you said about money I found so human where it's like you know men should admit that like where it's I appreciate that but also we're in a world of punch up punch down I mean you play the algorithm game oh yeah when you talked about those extremes I'm like I should be more extreme but it's scary I'm not that extreme like I actually am logical but also women are dealing with this you're playing the women game oh so like I'm so excited about the lululemon divorce because they have no prenup which is like no prenup how messed up is that that's where my brain rot is yeah the guy who founded lululemon is getting divorced and there's no prenup and I'm like great content gold I mean and people hate him they hate him he's the microplastics there it's rotten our vaginas yeah but he also he also said um but even that yeah you're going I'm doing it rotting the vaginas he's killing women yeah he's killing women and he has no I hope that she takes him for all he's worth he's also said that women with like bigger bodies shouldn't wear his clothing like that's like to me that's the most that's the worst part yeah yeah not the pfas it's about the size I don't even know about that yeah yeah no so like I I don't know I I'm okay with giving you're so right but I don't I think a lot of men are in a position of power dating you know because they're not rushing so true so so yeah there's a rush the power dynamic of like a guy not rushing and like that is acknowledged but I I think that's also why a lot of women get pushed into woo-woo scenarios and don't hear from a lot of men because it's not worth it what do you mean I think men online if they are all you hear from online about men with dating generally are just angry men or you got like those coaches who are like uh like if he does this then like ladies like you'll never talk to you again right like it's all just grifty shit I just but when you're in one of those anxious situationships you eat it up because it hits you right where it hurts scratching the it yeah well I'm really glad that we were able to relate on texting an ex about a shooting and I really feel like we landed on something there we got there at the end um and Jared you are amazing I'm so really love your special thank you so much if you guys want just like something to watch that's going to make you laugh it's so smart watch with your parents yeah watch with your parents your parents are in it they're in it my parents are in it everyone is all these millennials they're using their parents for money you're actually putting your parents to work and that's a beautiful thing for me that's right there you go comes back around flipping the coin thank you for having me it was great don't forget to like this episode subscribe to the show rate review it helps us so much we'll see you next week sippers stay rich Hank joined BJ's Wholesale Club the day he became a father of 30. I coach football. Coach Hank saves up to 25% off grocery store prices, 30 pounds of pasta, three cases of protein bars, 75 sports drinks. And that's just pregame. He knows teamwork, and BJ's knows savings. This is your home, coach. Home of the Save. Join for just $20 at bjs.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months. Open soon. Limited time offer. New members only. BJ's. Home of the Save.