Mom Shaming, Crying Videos, and Not Giving a F*ck with Jackie Schimmel

The day that you see mama in my bio, please call the cops and lock me at 100%. This podcast is a dear media production. Hi guys. Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back. I'm sorry something. Okay. You said that oscillate was my word. Yeah. On that one said I wasn't here. A couple weeks ago. Yeah. Yeah. You pick a word every episode. I do? Oscillate, it happens a lot. I say oscillate a lot. No. I saw this meme when I never, I never said it to you. It's so funny when you know your friends trying out a new word. No, pervasive was one week. No, I've been, I've been doing pervasive. I know when you are introducing it. Okay. I know when you're test driving it. I do be doing that sometimes. I will learn a new word. This is how it should be. This is how we build our vocabularies. Okay, so I would like to just come out and say a listener message to me. I am using oscillating correctly. So oscillate and vacillate are two different words. Oscillate means an object. So an object would be like a fan. Yes, a fan oscillates. A physical fan. Vacillate means between like emotions. So you're like jumping between emotions. Are you sure? I mean vacillate. Are you sure? But people have to be an object. It has to be an object. They're synonyms. Yes. Well then they're synonyms. But people use them interchangeably. But what I mean is vacillate. It says oscillate between means to repeatedly move or waver back and forth between two different points, states, opinions, or emotions. But doesn't say an object. Did you write oscillate versus vacillate? I just said oscillate meaning. Right? Oscillate versus vacillate. Here's the Cambridge dictionary. If you oscillate between feelings or opinions, you can do that as well. My emotions oscillate between desperation and hope. Well, when I looked up oscillate versus vacillate. I don't know why you're just defending this girl. I appreciate you, but I googled it. I'm googling it. We have the same. You were saying it for me. Thank you for being my voice. I don't appreciate her. Correct. Seeing you. It's fine. Do you? I know it is. Okay, thank you. What did I say the other day? Oh, I sometimes I'll say something and then I can tell you're like, I like that. I'm going to introduce that one. What did I say? It's like a car word. I said, not deescalate. Car word? I said, you need to something in this relationship. You need to supercharge. No, like the opposite of supercharge. Not recarbarate. Recalibrate. Recalibrate? Yes. Recalibrate? No, recalibrate. I've been using recalibrate. You didn't teach me recalibrate. I didn't teach arena. You know, I know you know these words. I'm just saying. I'm trying to build it in. It was recalibrate. Oh, I do. I do recalibrate all the time. You do? Yeah, I've been doing recalibrate. Yeah. I said it in a voice note. You said it back three times in the next voice note. Well, you know, I like to repeat myself. You say you, you just see an ad three times before you buy the product. Well, I say it three times before I come in. I like what you're doing with these new vocabulary words. I like that you pick one and then you say it repeatedly in an episode and then it will be in your vernacular. I didn't know I was doing this, but it is apparently. No, I like it that it would be a drinking game. Like, I like when people are like drinking every time renaissance, whatever. I definitely have a lot of little catch phrases like that. I try to sound so serious. I always think about how can I improve my vocabulary. And this is one way to do it. And when I did Britney's podcast, they do like a word of the week. But the words are, they don't make it. I can't even pronounce the words. Like these are, I like these words. They just, I don't need to use big words that no one knows what they mean. You sound crazy. If that's how you want to live and you're, I really educated and you want to say things, people don't understand that's your business. But even when I'm reading a book and I'm like, I don't know that word. I have to look that word up. That's not a word that people use. There's a lot of words I need sort of know within context, but like I don't, if you also explain it to you, I like, I understand it and the sentence kind of. Yeah. But I, you know, it means that thing. Anyways, let's think our partners will get right into the episode. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Thank you to BetterHelp. Therapy can help get 10% off at betterhelp.com/gge and article. Get a beautiful new couch or bed at article.com. And thank you to F.P movement. Go to fpmovement.com to shop their full line of activewear and workout gear. And thank you to NutriFull. Get $10 off your first order and free shipping at NutriFull.com with code gge10. So I am in New York this week. You'll be there for a couple of days, but I am making my first trip of the year. Hopefully. Oh, April even been there. I know. I've mostly been there. I know. So as this airs, I will have just seen my nephews and my family in Delaware. And then I'm going to spend this week in New York. And then we have, you're not going to be able to make it, but I have a friends 40th this weekend in New York. So just, you know, getting some friends and family quality time. Yeah, my nephew and my brother will be in from London. So I'm going to Pittsburgh. Look at us. And then this week, Wednesday, I will be a wise guys in Salt Lake City. And I will be in Zany's Nashville on Thursday. And I, both of these shows, I'm really looking forward to them. So fun. We just, like, love performing there. I can't wait to be back at these venues. And I have tickets left for both. So that's reinegringbrick.com. I will see you guys there. It'll be so, so much fun. I love these cities. You're welcome, Salt Lake City. Yeah. I made you add this to the tour. Yeah, actually just, I mean, we have performed a wise guys. We both love it. But I was doing, I was like, I committed to 20 cities. And I was like, I can't do more than 20. And then I added 10 more. And obviously you just spoke so highly of your show there and you just for me. And I'm just really excited to be both. I am going to invite all the Mormon lives to be if they come. I mean, you never know. I'm just going to DM all of them and be like, you seem like you need some joy in your life. I've seen your husbands. How far away is where they live? Oh, I don't do them Provo or something. Yeah. Provo. Yeah. And then there's this other place they went. I sent it to you. And I was like, I want to go here. They went on this one episode. And they were riding these ATVs around like Dubai or something. It looked crazy in the desert somewhere. Yeah, they went to the did they took that trip to the desert. I was like, wherever this is, I want to go. I want to go to Swig. What's that? That's where they do their Mormon sodas. And they mix all the different kinds of sodas. Just drink alcohol. You're allowed to drink alcohol. All right, I can get I can get drunk. That's been like, I want to try soaking. Just fuck. I don't need to try the Mormon loopholes. I want to be in the culture. Maybe like Jesse O'Mee. Maybe there is something. Oh my god. What are my favorite moments when I perform in Salt Lake City last time when I posted this clip on my Instagram, as I said, like we roleplay Mormons and we soak and the rain it comes in and kicks the bed. Okay. Well, we have Jackie Shimmel today. So fun. She is so fun. And she has been a podcaster for 14 years. I know. She's really a trailblazer. And she's just made the best time we went on her show. So if you guys listen today and you want more, we were on her show probably about a month ago at this point, the bitch Bible. And so you can get your fix. But we just had such a fun conversation with her. So we're just going to keep this intro kind of short and answer an email that came through. So this came through right after our episode with Dr. Nicole McNichols a couple weeks ago about sex and intimacy and having more pleasure and intimacy and a better sex life, whether you're in a relationship or having casual sex and you guys really love the episode. And it was just like so full of great information and insights. But this came through the day that episode dropped and we've been sitting on it. The subject line was attraction. And she wrote, "I'm a long-time listener, first-time email submission. I love the episode that aired today. I just have a question because it wasn't really addressed. For a long term relationship, six years, how long should you keep trying to have better sex with your partner if you aren't attracted to them? I was hoping the attraction would grow over time since that's what people say. Attraction can grow over time. But honestly, it's not. Sex is a chore. We have it once a week on Saturday or Sunday. I thought the lack of attraction might have been because of some health problems I was having. But those resolved about two years ago. One issue may be that we just don't have intimacy. We don't cuddle or make out. I guess I shouldn't say we don't cuddle because we do sometimes in bed. He's big spoon and behind me, which is nice. But I guess I just don't want to cuddle front ways on the couch because he's always had an issue with his breath. I've talked to him about it over the years and it's someone gotten better. But on the rare occasion that I get the feeling to get close to his mouth, bam, bad breath. And then I'm just irritated. I mean, I guess I've answered my own question by typing this out LOL. But I'd like to hear your take. Love you, ladies. I feel for her. I do. I mean, okay. So I want to be gentle. Girl, get out of this relationship. Wait, I think attraction growing over time. That's six weeks. That's six years. I feel for her. I think she was trying to be positive. This guy's probably really nice and it's hard to find a good guy, but when we say attraction grows six years. That's crazy. When I read it, I had to go back and make sure they weren't married. You can't force attraction or hope it grows forever. You go on one, two, three dates with somebody and you're like, maybe I'll feel attracted. You hear all these guys I wore down. I'm curious if they ever had a really good sex life. Well, and it sounds like maybe for the first four years. She was dealing with some health issues. She said, so who knows what that had to do. Maybe that affected her libido. I don't know what she had going on. I'm glad that they've been resolved about two years ago. But you don't have to be with this guy. I had to reread it and be like, oh, they're not married. You don't have to be with this person. I don't think it's going to grow from here. I don't think you can negotiate being attracted to somebody into existence. I think there's seasons of everybody's life. I think a lot of people are like, we used to have all this sex and we don't need more. I had a kid and I don't want to be to touch me anymore. I had a situation. I don't want to be to touch me anymore. But I've never heard of these things changing and I don't want to be hopeless. And there's definitely things you can do in this short term. I mean, the breath, that's not negotiable. This is not like a, here's a quick fix. But send this man to the dentist and say, I do not want to sleep with you because of this. You You don't even be that sensitive about it. He has to fix this. But there's still haven't sex once a week. which is the norm for couples in healthy relationships. - But it's this routine, it's totally true. - She says, of course, no, you don't want that. - You said something to Dr. Nicole, you said, you know, every time we have sex, we're like, "Why don't we do this more often?" This is awesome. I don't think that's recycling. - Yeah. - Oh. - You're like, "Can't did no, I don't remember." - I do think you said that, exactly like that. - Well, a lot of people say that. A lot of couples say, like, we have sex once or twice a week and then we're like, "Why don't we do this right?" - Right, right. I was in a relationship for a long time. I was married this person where sex was such a chore. I would do it once a week. I would go into the bathroom and look myself in the mirror and be like, "We did it." We did a fam and I was actually wildly attracted to him physically, very much so. But, I mean, it was psychological. I didn't want to sleep with him, but it didn't change. I mean, also when we broke up, I don't know that I would have seen those things changing. And you guys also don't have intimacy outside of this. I mean, most therapists will say, like, can you create intimacy outside? Are you holding hands? Are you cuddling on the couch? Are you making out flirting? And it doesn't sound like they're even really doing that. - Yeah, I mean, I usually really like to be open-minded and I don't know what's going on in everyone's relationship and I don't know what's going on. I don't know why she feels like she needs to stay with this guy, but I've never heard of this six years in and you're like, when am I going to feel attracted to him? I would say that you're not. I would say to get out of this. And if you want to keep trying, you've got to talk to him about his breath. I don't know if it's like, he just eats a lot of garlic or he is halitosis. There's two things. Does he not floss? I mean, if he's not flossing, there's your culprit. So make sure he flosses. And if it really feels like it's deep, it's coming from within. He needs to go figure that out, the dentist. But I mean, I think it just, what makes you feel like you need to be with this guy? You know, it sounds like maybe there were some issues at the beginning and you were like, it's me, this is why I'm not attracted to him, whatever's going on with her health, but those have been resolved and you can do better. You can find someone that sucks, doesn't feel like a chore. And maybe it's just really kind and really nice and I love that for her, but you can be with somebody you were attracted to. I guess I'm curious how important sex is to her. I don't think the shoe would have written this email if it wasn't important to her. I think even with the absence of sex, you want to have intimacy with your partner. And I don't know how important that is, but I do think it's important to her. And I would ask myself, if nothing changed, would I be okay with this forever? Yeah. I don't think the answer is, yes, I think this girl wants to have sex with her partner. I'm being attracted to him. I'm like, how old are you? Where do you live? What is going on here? Maybe it's like a small town and all her friends are in a relationship and she'd rather be with somebody than not. But six years, I mean, is there a world on which you want children? Which obviously, I don't. So that's fine too. But I have so many more questions, but I don't think you should keep waiting around and having this obligation sex life and having this guy breathe on you much longer. I don't think there's just get out there. I mean, this was a different situation. This was somebody saying, I want to have sex with my partner. We used to have sex. The intimacy seems to have dwindled. I think you and I would have all kinds of advice about scheduling sex and planning fun things and being flirty and being intimate, touching each other. But this does not sound like somebody you're attracted to. That's a different thing. Like, not we had intimacy at one point and I want it in the short term. Like, address this. We can address his breath. We can rebuild intimacy we once had. But you're not attracted to this person and we all deserve to be attracted to the person that we're with. Yeah, maybe she should just throw a Hail Mary and just fucking do some crazy sex stuff and see if he bites and that's what she's not. She doesn't want to. She doesn't want to. But this person, you're right, you're right. This is like the Trump card for all the things. I'm like, if she was actually attracted to him, you and I would be like, do everything. I know. Right, time on. Put on a show, masturbate in front of him. Okay. I like doing that. I mean, you're not alone. Okay. Well, good luck out there and let us know what happens and we're rooting for you, sis. So we're just gonna talk about our partners and then we will get into it with Jackie. All right, I'm telling you guys about F.P. movement. It is free people's active wear brand. It is designed for all the ways you move. Whether you're running, hiking, flowing, training, grabbing a lot. Or maybe just, you know, recording your podcast, go into the grocery store if you're may. I have been shopping this brand for so long. I love their sets, the crossover set. You and I both have in so many colors that I'm wearing today. Also, it makes me look really put together. It is designed for working out. So if you wanna like do tennis or yoga or hiking, I mean, they have sweat wicking fabric and also if you just wanna wear a lounge set, they have great stuff. They have coats, they have bags. There is so much to choose from and I just, I love the quality. 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So you can let your hair be one less thing to worry about, see visibly thicker, stronger, faster growing hair and three to six months with neutral. For limited time, neutral fuels often are listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you visit neutrophil.com and enter promo code GGE10. That's neutrophil.com, spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L. dot com promo code GGE10. Okay, let's get into it. - All right, guys, we are very excited to welcome our guest today. I wrote her intro, but I also pulled some from a website that I found. Without the help of family connections, formal training, agents, managers, or publicists, she has propelled her podcast, The Bitch Bible, from an experimental hobby to a top comedy podcast. - She is the true queen of saying what everyone else is thinking, but they will not say out loud. Please welcome to the show, Jackie Shimmel. Did you write that or did you hijack that from the beginning? - Wait, what, where did that even come from? That's not even the structure we typically do. - I pulled it from the help of Sam, the she's no Neppo babies here. What even, what, we're-- - Wow, someone's clocked in today, a journalist, Jesus Christ. - What did I tell you? I told you to give him, chat, GPT. - This is from the improvs website. - That's crazy. - This is a bio that somebody who works for you. It sounds a little insane to the improv. - No formal tricks. - I feel like you know what I probably am. - I probably am. - I was like, she definitely wrote this without the help of family connections and formal trainings. - That sounds like me. - Yeah, that sounds like me. - So you are a writer, see? - Well, it depends who you ask. - You wrote that bio. - I wrote that bio, bitch. That's right. What do you lead with, podcaster? - It's the only thing I-- - Okay. - Well, I mean, you had a podcast for 14 years. You are, I mean, you invented podcaster. - I don't know about that. It's a little embarrassing, honestly. Like the 14 years of it all. Like, in some groups is cool, but in reality, it's not cool. It's so long to be podcasting. It's like, bitch evolved, but this is all I have. - I mean, bitch, they relevant. That's amazing to be able to do so. - I know, 14 years. - My biggest respect is for long careers, like longevity. I think so many people can go viral. It's like a flash in the pan. - Ooh. - Okay, like the same goals. - That's the thing. - That's true. - That's true. - Artists, Howard Stern, people like that. - Sustainability. - We're not trying to keep it in pit. - We're just trying to keep it fucking moving over here. - Like, what if you were like 20? Like, what were you even doing? Like, what were you thinking? Was it only Apple even? Like, there was no Spotify podcast back then, right? - Oh, there was no Spotify. - Yeah. - There was no categories. There were no shows. - It was you and serial. - That was it. - That was it. - You were saying you invented podcast thing. - You know what? You're so right. Add that to the fucking by now. - Yes, she is the original podcast. I also want to say when I was writing, I think that we really brought people up for being like multi-hyphen doing all those things. And that's great if you can do that. But when I was writing like my bio for my website, I was like, oh, I'm just a podcaster. I don't have a million things to put on here. I didn't host this thing, write this thing. But then I was like, this is pretty awesome. I'm doing done something for 10 years and stayed relevant. You should be proud of it. - Okay, thank you. - Yeah. - I have no hyphens, no real hyphens that have come to fruition. - We tour, you've toured. - I tour, I don't enjoy myself, but I've done it. - You're a mom. - Oh right, sure. - That's the number, mama, wife, mama. - The day, can I say something so honest? The day that you see mama in my bio, please call the cops and lock me out. - Oh, 100%. - I do not identify as a mother. Nobody likes when I say that, but I really mean that. Like, that is not one of my pronouns. - Lauren, let's talk about it. - I don't, now, first of all, I feel like it's a lot of pressure to put on your child when you're like, mama first. Like, okay, like, don't be self, I can dorky about it. First of all, mama last. - Honestly, don't even tell people. - Keep it on the low. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not wearing a necklace that says mommy, mama. - I am wearing a necklace that says his name all the time. - I would do that shit. - All the time, I have a very cute Cuban link choker that says Clyde, that's like very hard, but no, I'm not wearing like any mama memorabilia. I'm like, shh, 'cause that's dorky. (laughing) - But that's who you are. It becomes people's whole identity, which is fine for them. - Which is fine for them, but I'm like, I have so many other gifts. - Yes. (laughing) - Podcasts. - Podcasts, that's it. - Did you always know that you'd be a mom that didn't identify as a mom? - Yes. - So you are, you're married, you're married. We're talking to you about this before, about just talking to your husband initially, about if you wouldn't want it, kids. - Yeah, I wasn't like someone. I mean, it's not lovely to say, but I was not someone who like grew up being like, I can't wait to be a mom. - Yeah. - That's not really how I felt if I'm being totally honest. Like obsessed with my son, like can't physically, like want to eat his head, obsessed with him. He's so fucking cute. Thank God, but if he wasn't so fucking cute, maybe I wouldn't feel that way. - Mm-hmm. - You know, they're not all gifts. - I know. - God only gives me, I really am. My nephews are both so cute. Like, thank God. - Objectively. - Right. - And you have to. - It's not up for debate. They actually are. They're super advanced all the things. Like, and I'm just, I'm such a snob now. - No, totally. - About it. - Like, you look at a kid that's like, foaming at the mouth eating glue and you're like, no. - I'm okay. - It's like a bad kid, you're like, that's about to get out. Get out of here. - And some kids have dark energy and we're not talking about it enough. - I'm sure, percent. - Well, you're like, I feel uncomfortable around this kid. - Like I've met children that I fucking hate. - Like four year olds. - Immediately. - Fuck that guy. - Yes. - It's always, I think it's always a boy. - I don't know. - I've met some girls too that I'm like, oh, I kind of like that. - No, but not in like a country spice. - Oh, not like a black cat. - Like, earn my love kind of guy. - No, like, like a sinister. - Like, you're gonna leave the room and they're gonna choke out your cat. - Can I tell what happened to me? - Oh my god, okay. - They're gonna hate you. - And the mom comes back and they're crying. - They're just like a sick bitch of a kid. I know one. We'll talk about it later. So Jane Aaron's joint birthday. At the end of the night, only one couple after their kid was there. And he was a little standoffish. Like, I hadn't connected it. I wasn't the kid. I wasn't trying to connect with him, but I, so he runs up to me and gives me this like big hug. And kind of towards the end of the hug, he kind of smeared his face along my like sweater. And he had wiped his nose on me. - And that's his purpose. - It was clear he had no other reason to come up and hug me. I was a stranger at that point. He ran up, I was like, this is so adorable. And across my Alice sweater. - Actually, I had to change. - Actually, how close physically was the child, too, and you realized this? When you looked down at your arm, you realized it was covered up both of us. He wasn't there anymore. No, thank God, 'cause I would want to put the kids. - I know. - Wow, dark energy. - Dark energy. I mean, that's like low-key funny, but also dark. (laughing) - Gross, gross. - So disrespectful, too. That would not fly in my house, FYI. - Right. So were you podcasting or married first? - Podcasting. - Okay, and what's the brief story of how you met your husband? And like, three adjectives to describe him? - Oh, okay, I don't know him. - Okay, the brief story is we met at a bar. My best best friend, my childhood best friend, went to college with him, introduced us. We went on a date, three days later, been together ever since. - Really? - No breaks, no breakups, no hiatuses, just locked to the fucking races. My husband in three adjectives, this is a very good question. He is, this is annoying to lead with, but it's true, and it bothers me. I don't mean this as a compliment, okay. Kind, like, deeply, deeply. - Okay, will he talk shit with you on stuff? - I have broken him over the years as I have everybody else in my life. I break them one by one. - So he's never like, Jackie, just lighten up. Like, no, I can't deal with that. - No, but he's inherently like a very compassionate empathetic person cannot relate. Like, he sees the world completely differently than me. - Okay, I love this for you guys. - He's not funny, I'm the funny one. - Okay, okay. - He is an amazing sense of humor, so when I say terrible things, he laughs. - That's all we need to do. - Yeah, I just, I don't want somebody that's just gonna tell me to like, be nice or? - In fact, he's not nice, necessarily. He's just like, nice and kind or different. - Very different. I wouldn't say he's nice, but he's inherently like, a kind person. - That's great. I would say about my husband as well. He's not nice. No one's like, he's so nice. - He's kind of a dick, but he's so good-hearted. - Yeah, he's exactly. - Okay, so I would say that, talented and humble. - That's great ones. - Yeah, like too humble. But I mean, he's all like, low-key insultingly. Like, I don't want him to ever hear this. And be like, wow, that's so nice. Like, humble to a fault. Like, too, like, wasn't hugged enough as a child. It's like, is this good enough? I don't, and I'm like, every, like, it's almost passive aggressive. Like, as everyone knows. Like, this is great. - This is great. - Okay, yeah. Okay, so he's kind. Do you feel like you've made him a worse person or he's made you a better person? - I think I've made him a worse person. I'm pretty consistent. I don't really change. - I've been the same exactly my entire life. Like, we're not changing. - Did your parents tell you growing up, like, you're so great too much. - Yeah. (laughing) - Were you like an A student? - No. - Oh my God, no, I didn't actually graduate high school. I'm like, not a high school graduate. - Shut up. Do you have your GED? - Stop going. - No, I don't have my GED. And I like promised my dad I was gonna get it last year at Father's Day, 'cause I finally told him that I didn't graduate. - So what? - But you went to college? - You went to community college? - I went to, like, kind of a community college. - Yeah. - I learned that on your, on your bike for like a few days. And then I stopped going to that too. So what happened was it was a very different time. Like, nothing was digital. Like, there was, you know what I mean? It was so different. And I was in student council. It wasn't like, I was like doing anything- - I did generate. - I was in a degenerate. I wasn't in the back alley, like, I was like painting posters. Like, you know, I was a, you know, normal kid. - Totally. I just really didn't enjoy academia. You know, like, I didn't like school. I didn't love going to class. I really didn't like homework. I didn't like assignments. I still don't really like assignments. And I was just not great in school. So senior year, I stopped going to a couple classes, got dropped failed, didn't have enough credits to technically walk at graduation. But I had such rapport with administration. I was like, listen, Mr. Maisel. You know me, okay? - You're fair, okay. - Like, let's just, totally. I share Horowitz Day. - Oh wow. - And I was like, I've got 85 people coming. Wait, time for fucking families coming to this. - I've packed this room. It's all these tickets. - I've been in student council this whole time, holding down the fort. I have the most beautiful penmanship. You know this about me, Mr. Maisel. I've took notes at the peak. You know, like, we had a thing. I said, I'm going to enroll in summer school. You don't have to give me a diploma. Just let me walk. So I walked, I carried that empty diploma, got the picture, moved the tassel, never went to summer school. - Wait, this is what I did. This is my greatest wedding graduate college. - This is my greatest wedding graduate college. - There you go. Okay, so I had to do one more class. That's all I needed to graduate. And they let me walk and I just failed the class. I didn't go to the class a little bit, but I failed it. - That's good. - Yeah. - So I don't have a college degree. - Whatever. - So you didn't grow up with a family. Like, when I grew up, like, it was like, college was a non-negotiable with something that everybody did. You were going to college, of course. Like, your parents weren't necessarily like that. - Not necessarily. I mean, yes, yes, but not really, because I didn't have to go. I think that they weren't worried about me in the sense that I wasn't a degenerate. Like, I wasn't like doing drugs. I wasn't doing any, I just wasn't doing homework. So they weren't really worried. They were kind of hands off deck with me if I'm being totally honest. They kind of just let me run. - Let her cook. - Let her cook. - She's fine. - She can't be managed. Yeah. - Yeah. - My parents felt like that too. I just think you have these conversations and like, all washes over you. Like, you don't need to do this stuff. Like, I mean, I was like a straight student at my homework my assignment would have for. I just was good at school. Just, I don't know where. - Yeah. - But you look back and I didn't have to go that hard. Like, you know, it's just-- - I'm glad I didn't. - Like, I look back and I think-- - Look at you now. - Look at me now. - I have to graduate. - Yeah. - You don't have to graduate. - Well, also though I could put that I graduated on a resume. The internet wasn't what it was. - Kevin, how embarrassing for me that I can't even check off high school graduate. - You're with a Range Rover. I'm here, don't quit. - As Raina said, good for you first thing she said to me. Oh my God, I love the color of this car. Good for you. I mean-- - I'm going to go over here. I was like, okay, what a greeting. It's just-- - I'll take it. - You guys should finish school if you're listening, but it's just-- - But honestly, you really don't have to. - You don't have to. You don't have to. - You know what? Nobody talks about the importance of likability. Okay, it's more important than any skill set you can acquire. - So I'm glad you said that and I pivoted jobs. I was working in restaurants and I went to work for a tech startup and I was doing sales and I was talking to my dad who was a lifelong salesman in entrepreneur and I was like, I don't know how to do this job and he was like, the number one thing you can do make people like you. - Totally. - And I was like, well, I hate myself. - Colleges-- - I will. - Should be having mixers, anything to develop people so far. Social skills and likeability because I learned that and every job I ever got every job was because someone liked me And I got to the next job and the connections that I made I was qualified enough whatever But I had this point in my career in my 20s where I was like none of what I'm doing I learned in college Like four years graduated summa cum laude like none of this is useful It feels like you're rubbing it in that you have all these accolades. You notice she keeps dropping them I have to end it up in the same place that we did here's the reason why I say a Jackie we get it Okay, you went to college pull you on it up the same place Here's why I like to say it because they didn't say it a graduation because I was too hung over to bring them my card Oh my achievements on it and like why held up the line why don't you put it in this fucking gallery shot behind my head Right exactly the point is just I realized like if you should be learning anything in college It is how to talk to adults and how to period connect and make people like you It's like the only thing I know there's skills you need to learn and stuff, but it just you really do understand that that's who gets ahead Yes, because if people like you they want to help you they want to be around you If you're in a knowing little rat of the bitch You're not gonna get as far because no one wants to fuck with you We don't use rat as an insult enough and I was for a little while and I've stopped and I so mean I love it Rat in worm I feel like a rat for a woman and a worm for dude are like really really condescending I was like a jerk a little fuck of a guy worm for a guy's great. Yeah, am I allowed to cuss? I really hope so you're gonna have to scrap this episode Can you imagine if we're like no some people say no and I'm like okay We're gonna need to for what reason I feel like you're not allowed and I love these girls I don't think you're allowed to cuss on lady gang. We've been on their show. I don't think you're allowed to cuss I think they bleep it interesting. Yeah, I bleep it. They're respectable ladies I'm not sure. They are respectful ladies. We swear. Okay, so your husband was like I do one kids Yes, and you're like I get I'll try yes and you guys have a child. We have a baby. Okay He's real cute. I love him. I'm glad we kept him and it's going well It's going well and you the mother how you want to do it. I mean like I said earlier I'm not someone who like identifies as like I'm a mama. I'm the best mama mama bear mama mama mama whatever I try not to take it that seriously, which people don't like, but I really feel strongly about it. Also I'm trying to prepare him for the world like he's coming into our situation. So we're not living in Chucky cheese land. We've got rogue Uncovered outlets. We have sharp corners and fresh florals. Okay, and he's gonna have to learn and he has learned and because of that I can bring him places. I'm not quarantine to the home. Right. He's not wiping his, you know, boogers on people's Alice and a little Olivia sweaters, and it makes my life easier. We're just We're just kicking it old school. So I'm curious about the peanut gallery on this and I think that like I mean actually I can't speak to this mom guilt and people giving you so much advice. But like do you have friends around you? You communicated like I'm just gonna live and let live and people had feedback or people like I'm trying to be more like that. What's it been like? It's interesting because you're getting fed like a lot of materials online. Like the second you have a baby Everyone's telling you what you should do and you know, there's a lot of like emphasis on getting down on their level and like validating every feeling and gentle parenting and we don't say no and I never have listened to anyone about anything and I'm not going to start now. Like if you have shitty instincts in life, then maybe we go back to the drawing board and we look for outside influence, but I have relatively good instincts. So I'm gonna go with me on this one. It's my life, my child, and I kind of like Just practice what I preach on that and he's pretty good. You know, you feel like if you're the kind of person that isn't like super open to Feedback people just stop doing. Yeah, I mean, I want to talk to you about this and everything that you do. Yes, like you don't give a fuck. No, I really and I and I hate saying it out loud because it feels like a trope or like I perform it over here. Like performing like I don't give a fuck. You know, right. I know. Like Las Vegas people say that publicly too often. Sorry, you do your body. Yeah. Those girls are like, I don't care. Like high vibration. Like those girls, they're crying themselves to sleep. Well, also people are like, I just say what I think and it's like nobody likes you because of it. No, totally. And I think that there's like I'd like to think that I have a little bit more nuance nuance in the head before I say things, but I would say I really genuinely don't care. Like, and it's not because I'm like Cool and like Bohemian. I I trust myself more than I trust strangers. So I just don't value it's like Discourse from strangers what that I disagree with and you're confident in your decisions. Right. I mean, do you feel like that all the time? I do think people start to pick up on that. I mean, we were kind of talking about some of the stuff you talk about in your podcast And I'd be controversial on another show and you've just been doing this so long and people know what they're getting with you So but you're confident in it. I think people see weakness and they see vulnerability and they see people and they take take the bait Yeah, they see I think when you really like live in your power again another stupid trope But it's just like I always say when I talk about not wanting kids like yeah people don't fuck with me because they know I'm Confident in my decision. I feel like when people these are the worst people online by the way and even in real life They see that opening to dig in Because they know there's a vulnerability there that you're not confident and you just live your life I think people know like Jackie shim all doesn't care what you think so it's not worth your time telling her It's not important to me like I'm clicked into the real world here You know what I mean like I'm very very very aware of like what's real and what's not real So like I operate in a very normal capacity with normal people and normal friends and a normal husband and normal like None of this it doesn't make me feel great and it doesn't make me feel bad like I don't care about any of it I think it's ridiculous respectfully. I think it's ridiculous like the fact that we all talk on a mic for like a living and get paid Is crazy, right? Like we're so lucky so I feel appreciative but also I'm just being myself Like I'm not presenting a version and I think because of that and maybe I don't get as much heat Or like consequences because at bare minimum people know that I'm not presenting Aversion of myself So even if it's like bad and I say fucked up shit which I do all the time and I have for 14 years And I'm not gloating about it. It's just it is what it is I think there's a difference between saying like I don't give a fuck with anybody things versus I have nice people in my life Good people I trust they give me feedback That's what I need that's all I need open to it. Don't listen all the time Open to it and I feel like the life life shapes you you know if you're being an asshole You're gonna experience that in some way shape or form there's gonna be an aftershock. So you pivot accordingly. Do you also just feel like They're coming for me, but it was a crazy we weren't war I just literally last night we went to bed and I was like I just a really scared of like what the world did my husband I was like we'll just go in the basement like we've got our plan for like the whatever happens when You're being attacked man. He thinks about this a lot. We've got a lot of emergency like packs and food and He got like helicopter insurance for Hanukkah a couple years ago. He got me airlift insurance He said what the fuck is airlift? I heard of that. So if any medical catastrophe happens in a foreign country or anything Yes, you can get airlifted. I was like this feels like a waste of money. I'd prefer a purse But thanks so much. Do you feel like part of you is like this is who I am and you you just don't like me Like sometimes I feel like when people if they really want to criticize me or us or the show It's like I'm not for everybody. You don't like it here, you know how boring would it be if everyone's like you're great This is okay. Sometimes I'm just if people criticize stuff. We say it's like but then you just don't I don't know how to do I don't think I'm articulating it well like I know even with my standup where I'm like you don't like it and that's okay It's subjective like totally. I'm not taking your notes, but sometimes when people write comments about me or us or the show I'm like, but it's not for you. How do you not realize that not everything's for you? I know people are really stupid and we're all dumb bitches at the end of the day But people really get involved in to give their two cents and god bless them. They really do But you know after I mean, we've all been doing this a very long time You know, we're still here. We're still talking. We're still caching those checks. So let's just keep it fucking moving You know what I mean? Like sorry. Okay, just gonna take a quick break. I'm telling you guys about article Rain, I just went to the site. I'm just like you shouldn't even be on the site because I want literally everything I mean we have been talking about article for six, seven years and so I feel like I've seen it evolve and you there's still so many these incredible classics But just seen what they have now. I mean, I'm looking at some of their best sellers this Sven Tufted leather sofa and all these beautiful colors these like neutrals tans browns. I mean, I love their green I love all of their green velvet furniture this couch. I'm looking at there's these chairs I mean, they just have all the best colors. I mean, I feel we've talked about this before kind of the all white all Neutral look is out you can still shop that and you can still live that way But people really want these pops of color. I'm looking at this Basie queen bed frame and this kind of rust orange. I love that color in the home That is like such a great way to incorporate color into your home and warm it up Yeah, just to really warm it up and have that boldness and the outdoor furniture is second to none This is really most of my outdoor furniture is all article the prices are great I mean again, we've been knowing about this brand for so many years and the price are still the best for the quality of what you're going to get. Article makes it effortless to create a stylish, long-lasting home at an imbeatable price. All of the styles that you could want mid-century modern, coastal, scandy, inspired pieces. And when you get on the site, they're going to show you how things pair together. You can shop by room and it is the quality without the compromise. So they focus solely on high-quality, meaningful pieces that will stand the test of time. Every item is chosen for its craftsmanship, design, and lasting value. There's sites out there that everything and everything, it's a mishmash, it's overwhelming to shop. When you're on an article site, everything does feel intentional. There is fast, affordable shipping and assembly. The shipping is great. The packaging is great. Support is great. 30-day satisfaction guarantee and shipping across US and Canada just to clarify. So check it out, you guys. Anything you need for your home, from big items to your sofa or your bed to your side tables, to your ottomans, really they have it all, and even pillows, lamps, all the things. But if you are in the market for a beautiful new sofa, dining table or bed, and much more head over to article.com. Okay, and this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. So let's talk about financial stress. In a study at the beginning of 20-26, 88% of Americans reported feeling some sort of way about financial stress and money worries. I mean, my god, they're so debilitating. It affects every part of your life, and it breeds anxiety, and sleep disruption, and even depression. And it is the leading source of conflict for couples, of course. Obviously, we talk about money a lot on this show, between couples. So this month, we want to normalize the emotional weight, a financial stress, and remind people that struggling with money doesn't mean they failed. Sometimes it's just about accepting the right kind of help. I mean, I could not agree more. And I'd love to recommend therapy to address those issues and BetterHelp really can help you there. Therapists work with a strict load of conduct, and they are fully licensed in the US. They do all the initial matching for you, so you can focus on your therapy goals. So you'll take a short questionnaire, talking about what you want to address in your life, and they'll help match you with a therapist. And then if you aren't happy, you can switch to a different therapist at any time. And with over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform. And I obviously believe in therapy to address all of these issues. And just normalize things you're dealing with, and help you to find really healthy, good coping mechanisms so that you can get through the day. So when life feels overwhelming therapy can help sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/GGE, that's BetterHELP.com/GGE. I think that child advice is well-intentioned, but it reminds me there was a lot of discourse around the holiday about being estranged from a family member, and there's all these articles and people were commenting on it, thousands of thousands of comments, about I don't think you should be estranged from a family member who can always work through it and all the stuff. like giving their input and I am estranged from a family member and I felt very triggered and mad by these comments of like, how dare you make a judgment call about me, you don't even know me. And children and Asian children have very similar to me. Like, how dare you make a judgment call about how I raise my child? You don't know my child, you know my situation. Also like, let's just see how they turn out. You know, and then you have a time on the clock. Like let's see, you know what I mean? Let's just see how it goes. Right. That's how I always say, I'm like, give it a couple of years. People also raised kids before TikTok, you know? Like they were able to do this without the feedback. But do you ever think, like this is how we were raised, everything turned out fine. That's like the most cliche way to think. But like, kind of, I mean, I think it's a mix between the two. There's too much outside information and too many opinions and all of our brains are such a mush at this point. We're all like looking for validation and guidance from fucking strangers. I feel like we got to just dial it back. Like every kid is different, every family is different, every lifestyle is different. Like you pivot accordingly. - I want to ask you a question, this is a total pivot. - Okay, let's go. - Okay, feedback from strangers. - Yeah. - How do you feel about crying videos? - I hate crying, okay. - Okay, like somebody, let me paint the picture. Someone's having a bad day, not an objectively bad day. I mean, just like a girly pop kind of, just like everything's wrong, but like I also have to go to Pilates later. I gotta get myself together and like, you know, and they're on the beach and they're crying. Somebody's crying and they grab the camera. - This is so specific, right now. - No, this is very specific. - No, it's actually about multiple people that I'm thinking about. - I could name 17 different puppies right now. I'll keep it to myself. - Someone's crying, grab the camera. - Okay. - The answer is no. Now, I want to keep watching these for all of our turnings. - Oh, okay. - Because I just can't point. - I can't even believe the Lord's work. - I can't even believe. Like, in so many instances that we see on the internet, like the fact that someone will be going through something and their first instinct is to hold it in, set up the tripod, hit hands free. Do you know how much effort it takes to prop up the phone, unlock it, put in your passcode, get the camera ready, turn the lighting on, hit the. - I lose steam by that. I'm not cutting it. - I'm over it. - I'm not crying anymore. - You need to re-traumatize yourself to get back to work. - No, no, no, we're back for backdrops. - It is so diabolically crazy. That's the craziest thing in the world. If one more person feels supported and seen, no, girl, look inward, lock it up. Literally, don't feel so comfortable. Don't feel so comfortable. This is what's wrong. This is why we need to re-jush. This is kids in school. We need to learn social skills. Because it's fucking, you know what? We're not talking about enough. People being fucking weird, fucking weird. It's the most bizarre behavior. Like, I've done things before. We're about to say to the world that my voice cracks. I can't help myself. Sure. It is not about me. It's like, I got to get this message out. And you can tell I've been crying or my voice might crack whatever. I think that's a human emotion. But when you, someone, something bad has happened. And you know they went to get the tripod. I mean, we heard about this couple. like, you guys can take your guesses, they're no longer together. Like, the inside scoop of their relationship of like, they would have these moments and he would say we need to run him back and film them. - That intimate moments. - Who, what? I would never, I would dissolve my family and never speak to my husband again and villainize him against our child, parental alienation, soul custody. - Soul custody. If my husband ever was like, wait, we should like film. I would never speak to him again. There would be no, I don't know him anymore. What if that get out of my house? - Right, who is this person? - Yeah, get out of my house. - Get out of my house. Don't look at me. By the way, if I had a friend that was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, let's do that again. I would never speak to them again. - I mean, sometimes I like to watch never fucking speak to them again. - There's a couple that I'm thinking of. And it's, listen, I'm all for people saying like, things aren't as glamorous as they look and I have bad days and-- - Sure, sure. And you know, I look great on the internet and this magazine all the time, - I don't love those Instagram versus reality to see either. That feels a little staged and a little forced-related building. It all feels so hanky. - Forced-related building. - I don't like that either. It's like, sure, my life looks great. But it's all packaged, it's marketing. I don't like it. - It's a stale take to me. I think that we've done for many years. Social media's not real. The things and relationships. - We get it. - Why don't you just be yourself all the fucking time? - Why don't we just do that? - I've always felt like, aren't we all kind of supposed to know that Instagram's a highlight reel? you know, like you should know that we all have problems and we all cry and we all spiral. - I just, I have these moments where I'm really low. Of course, I'm crying, I'm voicing with my friends, you know, I'm on tour, I'm by myself in these hotel rooms and I'm like, yeah, this is a bummer, I'm lonely. Then I process it and I think about it through perspective and I'm like, I'm so lucky to be on this tour. I'm so lucky to start to get, I'm so lucky friends want to come with me, Ashley wants to come with me. I'm not gonna grab a girl from awareness. - Yes. - Which is something that is lacking severely and self-regulation, self-regulation, self-awareness. It's a pandemic. - Josh Johnson, we were watching the clip over Christmas. He's my mom's favorite one. - Which one? - I love him so much. - Well, he did this thing. He was like the first time I saw someone crying on Instagram. I thought, oh my gosh, this was posted accidentally. - Right. - Like, she's in her car, she's crying. She didn't mean to post this. It was someone who knew he was like, I'm gonna message her. - And Toni, this got out. - Yeah. - And like, he does a whole bit like, "Do we all remember the first time we saw someone cry "in their car on social media?" And you're like, "I feel like I shouldn't be watching this." - No, it's too intimate. It's weird. - It's weird, lock it up. Don't be so comfortable. I don't like, especially when it's something really, really stupid. - But it usually, like, it's usually a white woman, and she's like, "I have to go to AccuPuncture, "but I just wanted to like get on here "and talk about this for a second." - Well, like, okay. - You can afford AccuPuncture this afternoon, I think you're fine. - There's such a spectrum though, 'cause there's that, and there's the something really bad has happened, and you grabbed the camera. - Which is also uncomfortable for you. - It's all comfy and like, we gotta take a beat. - Yeah. - We gotta take a beat. Sometimes I'm just like, I don't want to shit on people for finding the outlet that makes them be able to get through the day. But I'm glad you're here to do it. I kind of do, though, and it's okay. It's par for the course. We need these conversations. We need to blink twice. We all got to touch, grasp, zoom out, and be like, what are we doing? I think about this with myself all the time. The shit I'm putting on the internet, it's annoying. A lot of the times, it's annoying. And I know that it's annoying. Sometimes, I know what I'm doing. Right. I know if there's a hidden agenda. Like, I know what I'm doing when I do it. And I know when other people are doing it. And we just need to have a little more transparency. I just find it fascinating. Because sometimes I really do want to cry to someone. Okay. Because we phone a friend. That's what I'm saying to my mom. Like, there's very few people I really can like, call to, yeah, sob. It's my mom. I mean, rain is every once in a while. But it's like, a lot of it's. The way you just said that doesn't matter. I don't want to cry. Of course, I don't want to do that to you. I'm like, I'm talking when you want to like fucking rail, you know. And I just feel like with my darkest times, it's a mess. It's a mess. Right. So it's like, I do get the urge of like, I want to get this out with someone on the other line. I just, I can't imagine it being my follower. - Right. - Like your community as the girls say. - Like, this is gonna crush. - I just like-- (laughing) - I also can't imagine getting out of that zone and being like, I'm still gonna post this. - Right, right. - Like, this is, put it in the drafts. - Put it in the drafts for an hour. - Yeah, and then see how you feel. - I can feel circle back. It's also not necessarily a message I wanna send to our audience that like, I want you to sympathize with me. I want you to come here to like learn something and have perspective and I wanna come to you when something bad has happened and I wanna have thought it through and figured out the lesson in it. And like, this is what I would have done differently. I don't know that it's necessarily the message I wanna send to people and yeah, I wanna make people laugh. I mean, that's what stand up and comedy is all about. It's like taking these really painful moments, processing them and framing them differently, you know? - Totally. - Yeah, I like the message of like, life is hard and I struggle too and it's not all perfect. Like, we saw someone do this recently and I was like, I don't hate her message, but I don't understand the tripod and the state of the union in the people shots. - And two year-old shots. Like, nobody needs to see you on your penthouse terrace like looking off into the Hudson River. - And you edited this one. I'm like, there are jump cuts. I'm like, you edited this one. - And we don't need to see you in the bikinis. Like, you've given us two years. - Okay, thank you. Okay, there's this one girl in particular. It's very triggering for me. She's always posting these like, feel bad for me with her butthole out and her tits out. And I'm just like. - I probably know the person. - This is crazy. - No, it's great. Like, you're not like moving the meter here. Like, I'm not having a spiritual awakening seeing you look out into the ocean at St. Bartz. Like, with some beautiful like audio overdub. Like, if you're at a beach, if you have a bikini on. - Sit down and have a cocktail, shut the fuck up. Thank you. - Yeah. Okay, so speaking of spiritual awakening, you have been on a radical wellness journey. By the way, always. - Always. - We went on your podcast a few weeks ago at this point and you were only starting to do this stuff with this guy. - Ryan. Is Ryan still in the mix? - Yes, and I had to apologize for one of you bitch is calling him a Craigslist killer on my podcast. - That's not like you. - What are you? - That's the way I listen, that has to be you. - It was probably me, to be honest. I'm just blaming you. So I was like. - It doesn't sound like me. - I'm like, starting for calling you a Craigslist killer but like, can I have an appointment on Tuesday? - It's bio-resonance. He also was like, please stop mispronouncing it. This isn't like witchcraft. - Did you call it bio-renesance? - Yes. (laughing) And it is like electromagnetic frequency work and like red lights and like negative ions. I go into this chamber a couple of times a week and I'm like. - A couple of the week now. - Oh yeah, he got you. - Oh I'm in. - Where are you going? - Well let's back up. What are you trying to address? - Just like, like everything and nothing at the same time. You know, like I feel pretty good. - Yeah. - Honestly it started because I was trying like D-Puff for a skincare campaign and I was like, I'm not going to stop eating. I'm not going to stop drinking. Like can we shake this out of me? Like put some electromagnetic shock therapy basically. And I have no idea what any of the things really do but I do kind of feel great. But that's sometimes like, I mean, I go out and get a massage a lot and they're like, what would you like to address? And I'm like, I should not feel good. - Totally. I just want you to do something nice for yourself. Your wife, your mom needs some time. I'm breathing in magnesium, mist and negative ions and minerals. I go into this little chamber. It's 20 minutes. I listen to my stories. I listen to my own podcast on the Bluetooth speakers. So I'm getting new listeners in the process. People in the waiting room have to listen and amazing. - And it's very weird but it's great. - Okay, 'cause you've posted and you're like in the red light. You're like in the red light district. - I have one in my house. - That's it in the home too. - Yeah, I got a medical grade red light panel. Now can you just explain that? Is it like a tanning bed? It looks okay. So my husband came home. He was in England for a while and he came home and I had really upgraded our system. Okay, so our bedroom. I was like, I have to have something to look forward to. He's gone. I need to like, spa out. So I ordered these medical grade red light panels and I put them in the bedroom. Normally I keep them in the gym but then I vacated them into the bedroom. Where do they go? All around the bed. - Okay, they stand. They're free standing. - Okay, got it. - I liked them all. - Like tall or that? - Tall like five feet. - Like a canopy bed with red lights around it. - Basically. - Just like panels everywhere. - And they shine at you while you sleep. - But you have to wear these like hideous, like Lake Tahoe Oakley sunglasses. - Yeah. - Like these wrap around red light glasses. Then I also have the mask which I've had forever. - Yeah, I like red light. - That's what I'm saying. - I red light every day. - That's old stuff. - But I want it on my whole body. - Okay. - Are you naked? - My tits are disgusting. So I gotta keep them. I need some bungee cords. So I'll wear like a sports bra. And then I also have the grounding PEMF activated charcoal mat that I lie on. - Okay. - And then I also have a wand. So I'll hold the wand up to my chest. And then I just bask in the red light. My husband came home. He walked into the bedroom. - And he screamed. - He was like, yeah. - Imagine me laying there with those glasses. Like in red light. I had the fireplace on. It was 100 degrees out. I had cranked it to like 50 degrees in my bedroom. Fireplaces on candles are lit. And I am just sitting in silence basking in red light. He's like, this is the exorcist. Like this is, this is not what I thought I was coming home to. - Did you close on it all when he walked in the room? Or you're just-- - No, I always have it in a very sensible pajama set. Like I'm doing a full American girl doll. - Well, I'm laying on a mat. - 'Cause you're laying on it. - I'm laying on a mat. And I'll put like a sports bra on. - Okay. - So top is off. - My husband walked in to me the other day. Lochney, my whole body with my red light mask on. Like, and mine has a cord that hangs out. Like it was just a sight to see. - It's gorgeous. - Like it's like a butt naked in your fit you a mask on. Like this is scary. - Yeah. - Like what are women? - I don't know. I also have like that weird chin strap thing. I was trying for a while. - Like the skims? - It was not skims, but it was one of those. - So that's true. - I'm for that. - Your husband also, Shashan posted this photo of you steaming your face the other day. And I was like, you know what? - Oh yeah. - He texted me back. - And he put it to the curb music. - Yes, and I was like, I need to talk to her. I said her a five minute voice note an hour ago. And he was like, she's busy. And I was like steaming her face. - No she's not. - Which I love, by the way. That's a great tip. - Well, so I just realized that I look better in human climates. Like it doesn't matter. When we went to Hawaii, we were just in Singapore. I'm not kidding. I look five to 10 years younger. The second I wake up, I wake up, I look better. I don't have the bags under my eyes. My skin is plumper. Yeah, my hair is frisier, but I'll take it. - Totally. Arms look better, like everywhere I'm aging is better in this moist climate. Like if we move back east, I'm just going to welcome the humidity because California has aged me. - Yes. - You know, we found the best surgeon here, and so that has helped us. But like in terms of skin. - Hair and skin. - Hair also. Because the dry climate and the sun exposure. So I was like, how can I try to recreate this at home? So I did get a Dr. Dennis Gross like steamer. - Of course. - Oh yeah, with the orange, I know. - Yeah, I've got it. - I've got a couple of them, I love it. - Okay. - It's lovely. - So, okay. Well, we'll talk later about the red light panels. But I am thinking this. I'm like, I want it more than just my face. - Yeah. - Okay. - All right. - Totally get the panel. You'll love it. - Lay on it. - Well, I said to Dr. Barrett, we were the other day. The under part of my eyes are just getting a little creepy. I've been really blessed with great skin. It's like one of the best things about my whole body. My skin's great. But it is getting a little creepy. And he said, red light's the thing that'll fix it. - Try it. It really works. I feel like you look shiny and tight. And it's doing something. - You look shiny and tight. - You really do. - Thanks. - Thanks, thanks, thanks. I mean, I'd fucking hope so after all those panels I bought. - No, fuck yeah. - Absolutely. - I'd hope so. - Okay, so bio-reven, Renaissance. - Bio, I'm gonna fuck this up. Bio-resonance. - And is this a thing? Or is this Brian's brand? - No, it's a thing. - Okay. - It's a triangle. - Brian's gonna love this. - Is it Brian? - I think it's Brian. - You said Brian earlier. - Did I? - Yeah. - You heard Brian. - I probably did hear Brian. - I don't know, it's Brian to clarify. And it's a real thing. I've done this before with someone else, but it was like via Zoom. And he was like in Oklahoma. And it was very, very weird, very sketchy. But this feels very legit to me. And when you walk in, you're not seeing a bunch of dumb bitches that look like me. You're seeing older people. You're seeing dogs. - Dogs go to this. - Dogs. - Dogs are getting this. - No one outside of California knows what anybody's talking about. - I know. - What do you mean dogs? - They're doing, they're healing the dogs. (laughing) - I don't know. - Oh my God. - I asked no questions. - That's so L.A. - Is there you bringing your dog? - I should. - You should. - No, I know. Leo needs to saunter over to Brian. We gotta get him on that. - See, you said Brian. Okay, I'm not just saying Brian. Am I crazy? - Yes. I'm saying Brian, right? - I don't know. - I don't know. - We'll roll the tape back. - I'll text you later. - Actually, look, that's what you're hearing in this. - Let me, it's a soft bee. - It's a soft bee. - It's a silent bee. - Soft bee, hard horse. - That's how you pronounce it. - It's a silent bee. - That's a silent bee. - It's a soft bee and a hard horse. - I have a burning question. Did bitch Bible, the names start from being a bitch or bitching or both? - Both. - Okay. And I don't like it. - I really love the name. - That's how it is though. 14, how are you supposed to like the name of a podcast? You came up with 14 years ago. - Oh, no. - We're girls. - Girls. - Right. - Girl, where are the girls? - Girlie girls. - Right. - I know, you just like don't have the foreset. I didn't think it was gonna become anything. - You know, I like it though. - I mean, what else would it be? - I don't know. I mean, that's the thing. Nothing else makes sense now. It was like, the bitch Bible, I'm such a bitch. - Also a bitch. - Bitch was like such a baddie word to say. It was like, I can't believe she said this. - Oh my God, back in the day. - 14 years ago, it was 15. - It was. - Well, I remember. - On that bitch, you had those name plates that were like on your back. - I remember saying "Cunt" like early, early on. And that was a huge topic of conversation. - On your podcast? - Oh yeah. - People got upset with me. - Is that bad? - 14 years ago, it was not of the times. No one was saying the word "Cunt." - I feel like women can say it. Oh my God. - Mayonnaise was a whole thing. - What's the critique? - Just that it was like of all the words, like that's the one you can't touch. Like that's what everybody said to me. They're like, you can say whatever, but don't say that, that's disgusting. That's icky. Like that was very much so it was not normalized. It was like very disgusted. - You don't like that. - Yeah. - That single one, I feel like I did. - Yeah. - I feel like I was saying it publicly. - It's not that shocking to me when a woman says it. I was on a date with a guy who called his ex a "Cunt" and I read flag. - I felt it in my body. - No, I never went out with him again. That's a crazy thing to say. To feel empowered to say that to another woman. - I don't like it. But in the UK, it's just so casual, right? - I'm not sure. - I'm not sure. - Yeah, Cunt just means like, what's up Cunt? - No, that's why I started saying it. 'Cause my husband and I lived in London like part-time and everyone would say it, like almost as a term of endearment. Like, it was very used like so casually. I'm like, oh, I love that. So international. So I started saying it. People were like, no. - It doesn't, I just kept saying it. - Look at us now. - Now it's such a thing, Cuntie, Cuntie Bob. - Yeah. - Cuntie look, I'm serving Cunt. - Right. - Serving Cunt. - I know, I love that. - I love all those people who criticize you. - I love it. - I love you. - I know. - Jackie, do you have any anxiety or anything? - Not really. Okay. - Wow. (laughing) Sometimes people, like, you've told you seen for like, well, Justin is stateful. - Okay. Jackie, do you cry about anything? Have you ever cried? - I mean, I just want to be honest. Like, I could, I, I'm with you. - I, I want to be honest. I mean, I have like normal anxieties. Like, if I'm running late for a flight, like that kind of stress. - Oh, Ashley doesn't feel anxiety about running late. That's just her baseline. - I used to, like, a lot, like a long time ago, I used to have crazy, kind of like panic attacks. I had like, really? - I did for a while. It was like a very short blip of time. - You don't have to lie. - And now I was like, when you're pregnant or something. - So your hormones were crazy. - Yeah, like, I, but, but all in all, like, I'm not an, I do not run anxious. I'm not a worrier at all. - Do you ever journal? - Have you ever journaled? Have you ever written a journal entry? - What the fuck do you, have you ever written in your notes app? That's something that bothers you. - No. (laughing) No, you know what I do though? I like to prepare arguments that haven't happened. Like, that's kind of just like a fun little thing that I do. So I'll pre-meditate like an altercation with someone that could possibly have this in case. - Just in case, and I'm ready to run by. - Okay, so I love that because how many times do you get into like a little tip with somebody? And you're like, I gotta drop the hottest insult of 2026, and I just didn't. - No, I'm ready. - And now we're too far down the road. - No, I know. - But when you don't get to use it, that sucks. - I know. - I have notes for everybody in my life. Like, my husband and all my family members. So that if anybody tries to hit a bitch sideways, you're not even gonna know what you're coming for. Like, I've got, you're fucking well. - I have a timeline, I have like incidents that I've let slide, that I'm holding on to. Like, I could be pretty diabolical. But it's more for fun for me. Like, I just want to be ready. - 100%. - You know? - Yeah. - Like, we're ready to go. - How old were you when you met your husband? - I was 21. - Oh my god. - So you were really young. You skipped that whole, I mean, - Really? - All of the 20s and 30s of the, I mean, so much are anxiety in the world and how we feel about ourselves come from men and dating. - Just skip that. - 1,000%. I think that if I was like in the game a little bit longer, it would probably be different. - Yeah, it really, I think, forms how you feel about yourself. - 21. - And it's like fucked up to say, but that's so, - Yeah. - So you guys had a decade plus of marriage, childless? - Yeah. - We were together a long time. - Or not marriage, but you're really. - Together, yeah, we were together, I don't know, like 13, 14 years before having a baby. - Can you imagine like what, who you would be, if like you just never had to be open to the opinions of men and what they think of you, - Oh, the male gaze. - The male gaze. - I feel like I wouldn't be so good at that, because I'd be like, fuck, like I would be very difficult, probably to date. - I just, I can't imagine if I would be. - Yeah, she'd start to think of something next. Just like, yeah, I see that for you. No, it's so true. I would be difficult. - No, it'd be difficult to write match for you. - And I was, let me tell you, before my husband, I was, oh God, I was so good at it in certain ways. Like, I had lots of boyfriend's all the time, and I was just juggling him. - I was at your spotty back then. - Zero remorse. - Yes. - I had hos in different area, 'cause I was like, it was-- - Then he trapped you. - He trapped me. - But yeah, I mean, a secure relationship, you don't want to worry about any of the stuff that we hate to admit takes up so much of our brain spaces and energy, I mean, totally. - I felt like that when I got together with my now husband, I'm like, I feel free, you know, in terms of like, I was wanting to find somebody, so I was thinking about it a lot. I was thinking about it when we would go out for girl's nights or to the grocery store or whatever. Like, not in a desperate way. Like, I was doing glam to go to the grocery store, but what if I meet him? Like, it's a fucking hallmark movie, but I just think that just all fades away. If you find that person and it is, it can be freeing in more ways than one and that it frees up even a lot of your energy. - Yeah, and you can be totally yourself and you're not dealing with the discourse of like being ghosted or saying the wrong thing. And then, you know, whatever that looks like is really difficult. I can imagine that would be. - It is, and like, the amount of conversations you have to have with yourself and you didn't even like somebody, and they ghosted you, they treated you badly. - Like what? - They didn't text you badly. - Well, now I'm thinking, am I not good enough? Am I not pretty enough? I mean, you just don't have to deal with that. Hot, what a gift. - I know. I would not be, I would be a very problematic on the streets if I was to. (laughing) - I'd be doing some weird stuff, especially if I had a microphone. I'd be like, his name was Daniel. He lives at, I would be giving out addresses, I'd be everybody. - Yeah, yeah. - I'd be terrible. - I kind of wish your husband would just let you do that a little bit. - I know, I kind of missed an opportunity there. - Does he check you on anything or does he let you cook all the time? - He lets me cook most of the time, but like once in a while he'll be like, that's enough, and I'm like, okay. 'Cause like sometimes I just want to tussle, and he's really not into it, but like sometimes I get bored. You know on a Friday where you've had like a long day of no social interaction, okay? - Pick a fight. - And you just want to pick a fight. Like, I do this sometimes. - Because I'm just looking for some entertainment. - Yeah. - And he's like, - Good acting, I've seen this, okay. - And he's bored, totally. And he's not good at it, and I'm great at it. So sometimes I just want to like, work the muscle a little bit. So I'll try to angle it a couple different ways. I'll try to bring up something about when he was late, like three and a half weeks ago, and then he was late again. And then we already resolved it. And he kind of like diffuses, diffuses. He's like, I understand, like he's very quick to diffuse a situation. It's just so annoying. - When you want to have a fight, someone's just like, I, you are right, and I am wrong. - Or he'll just like start laughing. He's like, you're a crazy person. Good night. And then I'm like, okay, I'm done now. - Oh, I got it out of my system. - Let me check my notes out. - I'm like, yeah, you better walk away. He's like, I'm gonna go watch the Laker game. Have fun. I'm like, yeah, I will have fun. And then I'm just screaming into a hallway. - He's like, he works on a live by, bitch. He just taps out in like a very like regulated way. - Yeah, and I'm like, okay, well, not to work. So that's a really long time to be married without a child. So it sounds like it was always the plan. But was it a real adjustment? - We had a great time and did you guys ever waffle over like, man, we're having a good time? Or did it really feel like the right time? Okay. - No, I definitely did. I'm like, I have designed my whole life to be like, fuckless and flexible. I can go anywhere like. I would say three, four years ago, I had hit the stride with the podcast. We bought our home. We were in such a, are, but we're in such a great zone. Like I had truly full independence. And we're not supposed to talk about this 'cause we're women, but especially like financially, like I could go do whatever I wanted to do, whenever I wanted to do by whatever I want, fly however I want, like that was always, this is what it was all for. That was the goal. And so once I got that where I was like, whoa, I can just like go to Paris next week and buy purses and eat at all the restaurants I like and then do whatever the fuck I want. That was so cool. And I'm like, are we really gonna fuck this up? And the truth is, when I said to a good friend of mine, ours actually, I said, people who don't have big lives don't have big solutions, which sounds really, really. I saw that you posted this where you found it. - Self-important. I was very drunk at the time. I blew both of our minds after I said, after I said it. We were both like, whoa, that is so real, that's so true. And then we couldn't remember what it was. I was like, wait, what did I say again? And then we workshopped it for like 13 minutes. We couldn't remember this profound thing. And then once we finally came back to it, it was like text that to me. I got to remember that. And then I read it back the next morning, like that's like actually very stupid. - No, I don't think it is. - Well, say to me again. - What was it? You know I remember, there's a soft bee. - People who don't have big obstacles. - So Ryan Tommy missed. - Ostical. - Sop, silent bee. - Osticals. - Osticals. - Not the itch, I will. - It's it. - You know. - Oh my God. - I'm a solution-oriented person. - Okay. - And I think that you can either look at it like, - Oh. I'm never gonna do this again. That's what women love to do it. Love to do it. Well, just wait. It's only, you're never gonna do that again. - That again, that crap. - Just wait, the just waiters. This is why I won't march for those fucking bitches, okay. Just wait, just wait. It's so doomsday, it's so unhelpful. It's so toxic, it's so weird. - Like mom's saying, like you think you're gonna go out to dinner and enjoy your life. - Like you're never gonna do that again. - Just all of it. All of it about everything, just like, it's this crazy doomsday caution that your life's gonna change so drastically. - Yeah, I mean. - You're so naive, it's like, you don't know. I'm like, okay, I have a two and a half year old and yes, things are different, but I also travel. I, we also go out to dinner. We also like have exposed outlets. Like, you know what I mean? There is a way to design. You're the architect of your own life. You can figure it out. If you don't want to, if you wanna have an excuse, you wanna be upset about things and you wanna harbor in that, you can do that or you can do something else and I've done something else. So, you know, yeah, things are different, but they're better for like, we make it work. We just make it work. My husband doesn't not travel for work anymore. I don't not travel. Like, we figure it out. I also married someone that like wants to be a part of the equation and is helpful. So. - Yeah, it works. You were taught how to find it fascinating, men that like want kids versus men that want to be dads. - It's different. - My dad really wanted to be a dad. He took us to like the zoo and the library and baseball games. He just like loved being a fucking dad. - Totally. - When I hear people say like, I just want kids, I'm like, do you? You're so right. I never even really thought of that the language matters. I mean, you can say things and you're like, what I really mean is that I'm not saying that you say a thing and you're locked into that mindset, but those are two different things. Like, very different. The way you say them, what do you mean? I got kids, I got to carry on my family name or whatever the fuck. Or I want to be a dad. Like, I want to be a dad. Means I want to be a dad. I want to be a president. - Yeah, you want to be a president. - And raise a human and like be in the trenches. - I would love to have kids, I don't want to be a mom. - I could be a dad. - Like when I think about it, I love the family. I love children. I'm obsessed with my brother's son. Like, I love people around me all the time. I love the joyous moments with a child for an hour. - I don't want to be a mom. - I don't want to do the things you have to be a great mom to do. - I wish people were more open and honest about that without being scared of being like, judge. I think that's really, I find it to be odd. I feel like less people should have kids. I feel like if you don't really want it, you shouldn't fucking do it. - I think you should want it more than anything before you do it. 'Cause the drastic change it takes on your life. I can't imagine being on the, and I'm sure this happens, but I can't imagine being on the fence and just be like, well, try it. - I hope it works out for you, but I can't imagine a bigger life change, so. - And I hate, hate, hate when women with children say to people who don't want kids, like the pity thing of like, oh, you'll never, you haven't even like lived. No, they're having a great time, okay? Your miserable, they're having the time of their fucking lives. - Let's not rewrite history here. - Do you think people don't like come for us? Like that, we are so confident in our decisions. Also, I don't, if they do, I don't even clock it. I'm like, it's such a projection. - No, by the way, that's exactly what it is. - If you say that shit to me, oh, you'll change your mind, you'll regret it. - No. - I will not. - No. - I am so steadfast in my choice that I have children as you are in yours to happen, which is great too. - Exactly, and you're not going being like, oh God, you'll never, you know what I mean? It's just like such. - Well, if you have kids, you'll change your mind. (laughing) - Right, well, that's what I'm here to tell the tale. I changed my mind. (laughing) - My life was awesome. - We got an email from people saying I had kids and I realized I didn't want to do that. - I have regret. - Yeah. - I have a friend that's like, why did I do this? I'm like, I told you, you shouldn't have done it. - I fucking told you. - Right. - Like mentioned, now you got to stick with it. - I heard somebody say, she's an influencer. She said I would rather regret not having kids than regret having kids. - And I think about that when I like balance it, 'cause like, I would rather be like, okay, this decision only affected me versus this decision affected me and my offspring. - Right, yeah, you know. Okay, let's wrap this up with a bitch sash. - Okay, let's do it. Should I start? Do you have something ready to go? That's been pissing you off? - I mean, I feel like I've kind of beat this to filth, but all social media trends that include the Goo Goo Jaws, I would like to end the '90s. - All of this, like, mom, what were you like in the '90s? And then it's like this slide show of, you've seen it. - Everyone's seen it. - I'm gonna talk about, so I'm a, I live for the '90s. Oh, you have a similar, like, you posted a playlist, right? - I feel like we're really a lot in the '90s. - I'm like, I have nostalgia as a disease. Like, it's all I think about, whatever. - Same. - The song isn't the right vibe. By the way, and like, usher posted and he plays the song, whatever, it's weird. - Also, it is the wrong song. - It's the wrong song. But where is everyone getting all this footage? Like, I don't, I, (laughing) Do I call my mom? Like, I'm like, I have photos in the '90s, but like, people have this ready to go. Why do you have all your '90s picks? I wish I had them. - There were all of my mom's house in an album. I would have to like, call her. - So much work. And also, it, it's the wrong song and it's the wrong verse. - Totally. - And I'd give up forever. Like, it's not even like the chorus. - Also, the song should change. Like, mom, what do you like, what do you like in the '90s? It should, the music should change. - Can I tell you the worst bit of a downer? - It's a downer. - Of a sounder. - Of course, when I saw this was unhinged. It was MTV Spring Break. And to that song, and it was all the best clips that we remember, it was like Cherry Springer and the grind and like all these like, slutty people at the Panama City Beach. And it was like the best thing we've ever experienced. - Why would it be like the cranberries, like, like dreams? Like, why wouldn't it be like dreams? - Or like new radicals, like you get what you get. Like, why wouldn't it be something a little more authentic? - Just upbeat. - Upbeat. - It's giving someone died. - It's giving you legit. - I'm so mad about the song choice. - Are we trying to be sad about the '90s? - Like the fact that Usher didn't. - Dad, what we like in the '90s, and then Usher shows all these photos of him as an icon to the Goo Goo Dolls sad song was like, my brain is breaking. - Crazy. Wait, I wanna bring up another thing that I could talk about for 500 years. Have you seen Jennifer Lopez's interiors of her homes? - No. - Where are they? - On Instagram? - You have to go take a look. - Okay, what are they like for this? - Her new home, like, now it's been half like, obviously. - Every home that she's ever had. First of all, do you know who Rachel Ashwell is? The diffusion line for Target, Shabby Sheik. Do you know what a dust ruffle is? - Oh, okay. - Just, it's giving you dust ruffles? - Does your eyes-- - No, it's not. It's not giving dust ruffles. - She is dust ruffles. - There are dust fucking ruffles. - I swear to God, I don't know, we made these anymore. I didn't know they were of Jaila. - There's so much upholstery, there's so many dust ruffles. There is so much mass-produced wafer artwork. She's got a phone from 1998 with the cord. - I don't know. - She's got Z-Gallery lamps. You'll never recover. We can't trust her. - Jaila, she can't though. - You can't. - No, we can't. - You know, you see something like that. You're like, we are not. - Jenny from the block has dust ruffles. - Oh, look at her Georgian home interior. It is undersized. She's got a love seat with like a floral motif and a fucking dust ruffle with all of these pillows. - It's trolling us. - It's the craziest thing you've ever seen in your life. It just doesn't make any sense. It just doesn't make sense. You look at when I paltrow's home in Monacito. That makes sense. - Kendall Jenner. - That mountain house. - Kendall Jenner's Mountain House. Things make sense. This makes no fucking sense. No fucking sense. - Okay, I cannot wait to get into this. - Yeah, yeah. It's a niche take, but it's something I think about a lot. - This is, I love this take. I mean, we went off about the pompous grass when we came here. - I know, I don't want to bring it up again, because I feel like we healed. - I'm in my power. That's why I don't say anything to me about it. I'm not going to take it down. - Right. - Did you take any of it down? - One of the stocks broke. And I taped it up together. - You had a full foliage and it broke. - And I put it in the front of the universe. - I have decided for my next apartment. When I move, if I, we'll talk about it. - Okay. - For my next apartment, my next home, no pompous grass. I'm actually done with the whole aesthetic. I'm done with the whole aesthetic. I'm done with the whole like white washed beachy. I mean, I live in Venice, it makes sense. - Sure. - I am done with that aesthetic. Like, my friend of ours had their home like redone and she wanted this like vibey like one hotel look. And I said her, it's over. - Okay. - Should we do something to build the building? - Yeah, I do actually have something to build throughout. Okay. The larger issue is micro trends in fashion. And I feel like we can't keep up with them. And it's every 30 seconds. There is a new thing. And like I saw this comedian talking about like Gen Z and jeans, like you guys didn't pick a gene. It's not my joke, it's her joke. She said that you guys didn't pick a gene. You picked all the jeans. We picked skinny jeans and it was the wrong thing to pick. But the specific micro trend I really hate is how we were all made fun of to the point that we couldn't do front talks anymore. Which like, fine, I will adhere to it. But now they're doing side talks. - What do you say? - That's one thing. - And one other on the side. Side talk, yeah. - Wait, a side talk under the bra. - Under the bra. - No, no. - One side is way. - Yes, they are. Let's see the receipt. - I don't have the mid section for that right now. So I'm irritated, but also that's stupid. So they're doing an asymmetrical tuck. - A asymmetrical tuck. - But we can't have a side talk. - Okay, side tuck. - No. - No. - I hate everything that you're showing me right now. - No, that looks like she's joking. Are we sure? - No, this is a thing. - Side talks are a thing. - I was Miranda. - Yeah. - Blast Miranda. - Oh, we're both trying to date Chase. I mean, it's so aggressive. The one side, people are like, yes, I saw a stylist the other day. She was like, oh, great way to freshen up your wardrobe. Just talk one side of your fucking shirt into your brother. - No, like you were getting dressed in a dumpster. - No, it looks like a mistake. It looks like it got caught when you were doing that. - Anything that looks like a mistake, like I can't. - It's like, look what I did. It's crazy, like you look like you just ate up on that. - It's so stupid. And a thong bikini for me, like, you know, those diaper-y, like bungee bikinis that look like the thongs you wear when you're getting waxed. You have to be so confident with your butthole to pull off a thong bikini. - I'm okay with it. - What do you mean? - I like it. - As a swimsuit? - Yeah, as a swimsuit. - You have to really know what's going on with it. - I've just kissed with it. - You made peace with it. - You can't hardly find full coverage though. - Yeah, I can't find anything. That's why I-- - I'm cool with a cheeky number, but like a full, like a string. - No, who's doing that outside of my hands? - That's the name. - Like Emrauta, like she wants, you know, she's a writer and she wants me to take in seriously, and she doesn't want to be objectified, but she is going to show us her asshole every other week in her asshole. - I would get kicked off the beach. Like, you don't want to see what's going on there. Like, I've so many problems with my butt. Like I just, like I want full coverage. You can't find it. - I need something in between, but I can't have a string in my ass. - That's insane, but I have made peace with the fact that there's just no coverage. I go to the beach alone a lot. I'm like walking around my whole butt's out. I'm just like, I've had to make peace with it. - Good for you. - Thank you. - That's strong. What do you want to bet? - So this is really nothing new for me, but I have seen it become more prevalent. People with their devices playing full video in public, but so I have, I can feel the rage feeling my body. I have always said people on speakerphone in public get the 40 fucking doing. Like this is like the hinge prompt, but twice in the last week, like in a coffee shop and out of restaurant, at zinc and at the new intelgencio on the patio in Santa Monica. Both middle-aged white men obviously ordered their coffee, whatever they're doing. They propped up their phone to watch something without any headphones. You are the worst person alive. You are so terrible. You are so entitled. You have no friends. Clearly that's why you're doing this. Like you want to go to a coffee shop or a restaurant and bring headphones and watch something go all the way off, but what are you doing? I can't, this should not be allowed. And United Airlines recently, they updated their rules. You have to have headphones for all personal device audio, or you can be the standard rule. You can be removed from flights. Like I've heard Americans say you have to wear headphones. You can't just like play your devices in full volume, but people are showing up to establishments men, with men, white men, with their devices to play. I can't believe it. I sat next to someone at a sushi bar like last week who was doing the same fucking thing. Full volume. I didn't understand this. And I could not control myself. You know, I like, I love a one-sided monologue. So I was sitting like one seat over from him. I'm like, oh, okay. So we're all watching this movie. Okay. Spoiler alert, and I just like had to keep talking about it. I'll confront somebody. I mean, like, could you put fucking headphones on? I'll kind of go up to somebody. I will not just let them. Mel Robbins said you have to let them. I'm not letting them. And I will do that, or I will tell a server, 'cause they're disturbing the patrons of this restaurant. But both occasions, we were getting ready to leave, and I was like, what's time to go? But this is an insane behavior. Like you are a terrible person to think you can do this. It goes back to the lack of self-awareness. Like how are you existing in the universe thinking that this is okay or respectable? Well, how are you in a room full of 100 plus people and you think what I want is more important than what every single person wants? This is not debatable. No, you're hijacking a vibe. Your kids too. So we went to brunch, and the sitting behind us, the kid with the iPad, full volume, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not acceptable. If you need your kid to have a device in a restaurant, they either need to wear headphones, they need to watch without sound. That's just what it is. You can absolutely bring your device, or you can't go out to the restaurant. I glared at the mom until they turned the volume down. Good. It's just so rude. It is so fucking rude. I'd rather you smoke, or be-- Totally. No shoes. Totally. I'm not sure whether you'd be on the phone having a conversation that I can listen to. That's fun at least. That I will at least sign up for, like, are we having a fight or are we arguing about something? I mean, if you're talking about something-- No, because I'm a middle-aged white man is never giving you any tea. Like, he's on a business call on speaker. I also don't like people that talk on the phone on the plane, period. Like, when you are on the ground, like, when you're on the tarmac and people are on the phone having a conversation, like, I've had recently, like, several people, like, having business meeting phone calls on the plane. You are two inches away from me. Are you conducting business or you're a business man? Okay. If it's an emergency, like, as I was boarding a plane, Taylor Frankie Paul's season to the Bachelor got canceled. And I was leaving a voice down. And I was like, I have to finish talking about this now. It's a national tragedy. I walked through the national emergency I should say. But once I sat, I got off the phone. I hate it, but I can live with it 'cause it's short-lived. Like, I know it's about to stop call. But remember that one time? You don't know if it's a short-lived, though. But they have to-- before you take off, is my point. But what if we're on the runway for 30 minutes? That's fair. Yeah, that's usually, though, it does feel like it's going to be quick. But that one time, the manager of that one group, and he talked to the phone. I heard so much about his custody battle. I'm like, oh, yeah. He was feeling that on his phone, gave us tea. He was feeling so much tea. And then he was saying he managed to band. And we were able to place his tattoos if he were out with band, he managed. Oh, that was great. And then we, like, I would love that. So yes, give us the tea if you're going to do it. But these restaurants need to make these rules. And I just want to empower all servers to just gently say, do you have headphones? We have a policy that if you have a device in the restaurant, the Earth also has a policy that you can't act like this. I know, but the universe. That's a patron you don't want to start in altercation. So it's just like, that's what they do on flights. They come up and they say, you need headphones. We need structure and order. And society, yes, there's we do. What are you yelling about? There was rules for society. It made me laugh. It's about the plane. It's not everything. Everything, yeah. Music on the beach. Oh, just-- Right? Like, how do you-- It's like talking about it. You don't get to just decide what everyone is saying. DJ the beach. No, what do you dip low? I like to see you talking close enough to me. My rule is if you were doing something that if everyone did it, it would be a problem. You shouldn't be doing it. That's what it's like to be in the world. You don't have to buy by those rules. You can live in the woods and not be around people. But in society, if you're doing a thing that if we all did it, if we all pulled out our phones right now and started watching sports on full volume in this restaurant, what the fuck would happen? And you don't want to fight fire with fire. That's a very dangerous kind of system to come-- Never thought of that. Right? Funny. But that is funny. Imagine you start watching me. A porn. Watch me. I'm going to hit you with a higher volume when something more uncomfortable. We're going to combat it at zinc. That's right. OK. Well, Jackie, this has been delight. Thank you so much for having me. Jackie, I just love to-- I'll listen to you talk shit about stuff. Your Instagram's so fine. Your podcast is so fine. Thank you. You really just pop off about everything. Tell people where they can find you everywhere. My podcast is called The Bitch Bible. You can find it wherever you listen to podcasts. And then I'm on Instagram at Jackie Shimmel. That's it. That was such a rich Bible. Hard be. Hard be. Bitch Bible on that one. Yeah. And girlsgottae.com. For us, you guys can get tickets to our show here in LA on May 7th at girlsgottae.com. Girls got a podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I'm Ash Hess on Instagram and TikTok. Raina is Raina.Greenberg.Greenberg.com for her tour tickets. You can watch full video on YouTube or Spotify. So subscribe there. And we will see you Thursday. Have a good week, guys. Bye. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING]