Mom's Car: Minka Kelly

Welcome to Mom's Car, I'm Dax Shepard. I'm Karen Stinkley. And today we have everyone's dream girl, Lila Garrity. My friend, Minka Kelly. Of course, we became friends on Parenthood. She had the most incredible episode of Armchair Expert with her incredible book. And then you probably have been most recently consuming her in the very, very tasty Ransom Canyon. Yes. Erin and I's favorite new show. Love it. Please enjoy Minka Kelly. This episode is brought to you by Allstate. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking the dress code at the new restaurant. Showing up in sandals and getting turned away at the door. No fun at all. Yeah, checking first is always a good move. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. We are supported by. Uber Eats. Boom, boom, boom. In need of groceries? Uber Eats has you covered. From last minute ingredients to weekly essentials, get groceries delivered in as little as 25 minutes with Uber Eats. Get groceries delivered with Uber Eats. Terms apply. See app for details. Now, let's get into the show. is this candy that's for you really we've learned that you like twizzlers oh my god that's really cute and you like jolly ranchers i love both of them you love that's really cute what's your favorite jolly rancher flavor watermelon or apple okay those aren't bad watermelon and apple yeah - Oh, those are the best ones. - Those are good. - What are yours? Watermelon's very nice. I like, there's like an apricot one. Is that a peach? Oh, well, now what? Peach. This is like, oh, I didn't know we were going into tropical flavors. It's the full canon of Jelly Ranchers. I got to go with probably peach. Peach is a good, I love peach anything. First and foremost, where were you coming from that you were so late? Therapy. Oh, wonderful. Wonderful. That was one of my questions. Let me turn on my Uber Eats app. So, I'm in a super good mood now. Oh, okay. Yeah. It can go either way, right? I don't know. It could go either way. Today's a good day. I was wondering when I looked up your birthday today. Your June 24th, 1980. I was wondering, I wonder if she's a Cancer because I really do well with Cancers. And you're a Capricorn? I'm a Capricorn. Which again, I don't know what that means per se. I don't know anything about Capricorn. Oh, but is that to say you don't know a ton about astrology in general? Well, I just know the ones that relate well to me. Yes, yes. Or that I have a lot of friends that are Pisces. Okay. What's that? It's the hallmarks of Pisces. They're also a water sign and they're also super intuitive and a little bit clairvoyant and something about the emotionality of the two work really well together. Well, my wife is a Cancer. Oh, yeah. And my soulmate best friend is a Cancer. Wow. And my friend Minka's a Cancer. I guess I need more Capricorns in my life. Dax loves him some Cancers. Yeah, I've never met a Cancer. I don't lie. Never. I love that. Sorry, Minka. Oh, you have a delivery? Don't worry. We have to pick up. We have to pick up first. Okay. Yeah, yeah. My first question for you is, yeah, we talked three years ago. That's when you were on the show. He just said that. I finally listened to it, embarrassingly enough, yesterday. Yeah. But all to say, that was three years ago. You were promoting your book. Right. You had had the experience of it coming out and then having to go around and talk about it. Yeah. And then that was, I'm sure, its own journey. Where are we at, like, three years later? What's it like three years after writing a book like that? The thing I feel the most. It's hard to articulate the feeling of sort of a weight being lifted. Yeah. I sort of think of it like when your therapist tells you to journal every day, it's for a reason. And imagine journaling to the extent of what it takes to write a book like that. Yeah. And while simultaneously in therapy and then sharing the therapy and unpacking, oh, this behavior of mine is because of this moment. And that's, like, the most intense sort of journaling one can do. Yeah. Like, you have a real. You have a real roadmap. Right. of how you ended up where you're at. So there's sort of a freedom. And I'm not sure if it's the book or just being in my 40s that has given me a little bit more sort of comfort in my skin or less worried about being judged by a thing or not. Yeah. Lighter? Lighter, yeah. Yeah, because when we talked, I was saying my hope for you and for me, if I complete mine, is that I don't have to keep it in my head anymore. That it can just exist safely there. And then I can kind of let go of it. Yeah. And now you. Now you're, like, kind of three years out, so I'm curious if that's been the case. Like, do you find that you're less. I don't want to say controlled by your past, but maybe that? But, yeah, I was carrying a lot of it. Yeah. There were so many secrets and, like, things that I was afraid to ever share because you would find me unlovable or unlikable. And all these, like, little tangled up bits about me that have only been met with so much empathy or, oh, my God, I feel so seen. Me, too. Yeah. I experienced this. We had such different lives, but a very similar thing. And it's just been. I've been met with so much connection that it's sort of empowered me in a way. Yeah. And made me feel proud of myself because what I've been mirrored back is. Is that Uber? Eats? No, we're already on the problem. I do wonder what that was. I was like, are we actively in a car accident and I'm missing it? Yeah, but I think, yeah, your fear is, oh, I'd be unlovable if people knew this. About me. And then the fact that the opposite's true is so mind-blowing, right? That, like, oh, my God, I'm more lovable that people know all this about me? This guy was talking about his shame about having slept with a prostitute. Sure. And I was like, that's okay. God, we all, whatever. I also was in a peep show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, like, I've also had to do what I. Not that you did that for survival, but, like. Yeah, yeah. But whatever, you know? To regulate. Yeah. For whatever thing you have that needs regulation. I was met with so much disgust, and I was so shocked that he was just like, you what? Oh, really? Oh, gosh. He was like, Mika, you could have done anything. And I was like, no, I couldn't have. What are you. Wait, what's happening here? Yeah, yeah. And it was, I was. And it was after you had already shown empathy towards him. Yeah, I was trying to reassure him that he's not gross or bad or, like. Defective or ruined. Yeah, I was like, I could do one better. Yeah, yeah. Then it was, like, not met with, like, oh, wow, that's really vulnerable. It was like, ew, you're disgusting. Oh, no. Oh. Yeah. Oh, my. Yeah, that was. Okay. So, you know. Yeah, yeah. The book made me feel differently. Yeah, yeah. You know, people's response to really understanding that at that age, in that scenario, you really just do what you have to do to survive. Right, right. And we don't shame anybody for that. I'm so happy to hear that. I've done a lot of journaling in the past years since I got sober. I tried to. And I'm like, I can be so embarrassed about my journaling. Yeah. Once it gets on paper, I throw it away because I'm like, okay, I got it out. You don't want anyone to find it. I'm so scared. Yeah. Someone would read it. That keeps me from writing, too, sometimes. You're like, I don't want this. Yeah. What if someone reads this? Well, do you think what complicates it a little bit is, like, when you have kids? So, I have kids. Right. And I have 22 years of journaling every day. Wow. And so, they're going to inherit, like, the size of this van. Cool. You know, during the fires. It was, like, the only thing I was grabbing. And I was like, jeez, this is a lot of fucking journals. I don't even know what car we're going to take. But at any rate, likely they'll never even look at it because who's really that interested in their parents. But I don't care if they look or I encourage them to look if they want to know who I am. And so, post-kids, yeah, I'll be writing. And it does cross my mind, like, okay, so my daughters will read this. Right. And, yeah, okay, they'll read this. It hasn't really stopped me much. Yeah. That's good. I've never thought of it that way. It's a beautiful way for your kids. It's a beautiful way for your kids to know you one day, I think. The real person. I guess my fear sometimes of someone reading it is a stranger and someone judging me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you do have the added, like, when we stay at hotels, of course, I travel with my journal. Yeah. And then one of the reasons I never let them clean the room is I'm like, I don't know. On the 1% chance they saw that it's me and they know who I am, I'll tell you for damn sure if I was a housekeeper and Nick Cage had his journal out, I'd be walking and reading every page of that. Right. And then I'm like, oh, yeah, was this potentially a story? So that crosses my mind. Are we delivering here? I think when Aaron picks up and then I deliver. And we pick up things other than food. We pick up food. Yeah, yeah. What restaurant are we in? Flowers. Oh. Where are we? Oh, look at these guys. Oh, those are gorgeous. They won't fit in the Uber Eats bag, though. Oh, okay. Hydrangeas. Um, in the back. Maybe on the floor here. And we got another one while we're in there. Another pickup. Oh, okay. Hydrangeas are my favorite. I have them tattooed on my. Hydrangeas are my favorite, too. Oh, my gosh. My wife, Ruthie, she went hydrangea crazy the last two years. And now she's drying them out. And they're all over the inside of the house. We're in Michigan, so they will not last all year. And the neighbor has now said, you can take mine, too. So there's. You have Minka's Lavender Farm happening. Oh, my gosh. From Ransom Canyon. Yes. So Ransom Canyon. So Aaron and I started watching it. Oh, you did? We loved it. Yeah, we went back. Last night, we're another one. Oh, my God. Yes, we're plowing. through them we love them and i have so many questions first of all it's set in texas so then i was like oh god is she back in austin like is she staying in austin but then i looked it up and you're in albuquerque and i was like oh my gosh if i had to go shoot a show in our hometown where we grew up i just i can't even imagine the million things that i would be experiencing has it been complicated or interesting or not as complicated as i thought it would be so the first season i was so worried about it being complicated that i got a house in santa fe oh okay right and committed to commuting like 45 minutes or an hour and 15 because the studio is in albuquerque it's like an hour and 15 minute drive where we shot my house was 30 minutes past santa fe okay so they were like we're gonna probably be shooting half and half at your house and the studio so i was like okay then it makes sense i'll live in santa fe yeah and it turns out we shot mostly at the studios and so i was doing that hour 15 commute each way every day and that was super that's rough and i would drive by the place where i did the peep show thing and i would see that all the time where does that go driving by that every day because it's all dilapidated is this like nothing now and i even went inside i had my friend fev was with me once and we went inside did it match your memory not at all it didn't in what way it was complete i don't know if it was renovated i doubt it but i mean it was it was all bright and white and smelled of bleach and like you know yeah and it just seemed so much smaller yeah yeah yeah and seedier worse because i could almost imagine like when you were young and you were there it must have been terrifying on some level totally terrifying and then if you went there as like an empowered everything worked out you got your shit sorted you might go like oh this isn't that terrible but it was it was bad it was like oh man yeah we were like thank you we're we're good we're good did you say um hey i used to work here i would have i couldn't i just was like can i take a look back at the at the stages can i look back there and they're like yeah sure yeah whatever you want an application yeah i just was like wow i don't recognize this it was it was really different did you have any impulse it was active yeah people were working no it was empty oh it was empty yeah because i was gonna say i wonder if you would have had the impulse to say to the girls like hey i worked here that would be i would that would be very comfortable dropping a token just wait i used to work here i know how meaningful this is but i think that would be encouraging if you worked there and then you walked in and said hey i used to work here anything's possible ladies yeah you may write a book about this place yeah okay so you stopped in there what about the neighborhood you lived in i drove around the neighborhood and the houses i lived in and all of it was so much smaller than i remember and more depressing than i remember you know it was a little emotional luckily i did it with my girlfriend so and you know but the food was the best part all the food you missed all the food you know i went back to a restaurant that my grandpa helped you know the recipes yeah yeah so i got to eat actual the food from my childhood which was it wasn't the same totally the same jenny's do you love jenny's i love jenny's what's your flavor at jenny's the brown butter one the brown butter brown almond butter crisp something like that oh okay that's very specific what's yours i can't really eat ice cream unless it's a dairy queen do you love jerry i love blizzards more than any i love a chocolate dip and i can't have it anywhere else because nowhere else tastes like dairy queen agreed and i don't want to get sued by them and this is not disparaging i'm not sure it's dairy i don't know what it is because when i eat a bunch of ice cream the dairy mixed with the sugar i'll involuntarily throw them oh wow i don't it does bother me it's just like oh this is coming up my body does not want this i can town dairy queen and i feel like a million bucks which makes me think there's no dairy in it again i don't know what the truth of that is don't sue me warren buffett um can you stay put yeah um for a minute because this never happens but there's like pickups coming in all over the street oh my gosh okay we're on fire be right back all right last one okay how far is all time oh my god it's right it's right here too yeah i got you a pin because you said you liked it oh my god that's so cute thank you by any chance is your page in your journal is it the artist's way it's not okay tell me about that though people love it how does the artist's way work do you do the artist i just got it my therapist just had me get it and i mean i have my own journal i was doing but she just sent me this yeah what is your journal generally oh i'll tell you mine mine is like virtually just what i did yesterday and then some mornings it's like i have a whole rumination and a court case in my head and i'm like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so and then i write that down you know so and so is this this am i literally by the time i've finished i've been so embarrassed by what i just wrote it's like when i see it and right you're like oh my god i'm being i'm being four years old like i can't just fucking deal with this so it's very cathartic in that way it's like just processing i've been obsessed with this lately how logical the story in your head sounds it's like bulletproof and then you tell a friend and as you're saying out or you tell a therapist and as it's coming out you're like oh this story is so weak like thing i got worked up is or oh my god it's so much worse saying it out loud or that now that i'm saying it out loud stay tuned for more mom's car we are supported by allstate checking allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance not checking that your best man speech is in your jacket pocket you wrote it weeks ago practice it in the mirror but now you're up there 200 people staring at you winging it sweating through your rental tux yikes yeah checking first is always the right move so check allstate first for an auto quote it could save you hundreds you're in good hands with allstate potential savings vary subject to terms conditions and availability allstate north american insurance company and affiliates northbrook illinois can we go deliver some of this stuff can i put this on the seat i'm getting inspiration for things more to do in the morning level that i didn't know you could uber eats uh oh yeah yeah i didn't know we could get maru delivered oh yeah i don't think i knew that either i thought you had to stand in the flowers yeah good flowers okay so your journal is what processing whatever's going on because there's always something going on i tend to neglect it when things are going well yes of course yeah yeah as we all do um but it's mostly just like whatever is happening and i'm processing it and then do you feel like by putting it there it stops a little bit of the rumination it relieves a bit of the pressure of it all over the the it takes the charge out of it quite a bit yeah you're like all right i don't even worry about that anymore i don't want to talk about it anymore um okay so back to ransom canyon please we love it i was interested in the albuquerque of it all and then um how do you feel on horseback oh my favorite my most comfortable really you looked comfortable thank you yeah we just watched you and your sister have the horse race yeah oh fun that was a sad thing a lesson for me because i had to have a stunt double and i hate that yeah i really don't like i want to do everything myself especially with horses because i feel capable yep but they were like you can't go full speed after the fact she was like if you would have just done it it would have been fine but we had to tell you you can't i'm like how dare them yeah yeah what are they gonna do in the future i don't know i don't you're in the middle of a gallop is that what we call it what's the fastest thing there's what are the stages of horse riding there's a trot a canter and a gallop the best one is something else okay it's better than that so this has been a ruse so this is your favorite meal from all time this is salmon and rice that's a spicy cold brew that's a spicy cold brew for you oh my god and those are flowers uh those flowers are for you and then you i don't want to give you too much stuff i want and then this is um fun stuff for uh a new space and now we're gonna eat together yeah now we're gonna eat guys i'm not expecting that let me get the forks because i love you oh my god wait is that really what the show is that you do that no really we deliver food normally but i said today let's not deliver food let's just get all the favorite things and let's all enjoy them together and not deliver food today i don't even know what to say holy shit thank you so much this is so sweet you're so welcome do you have a cup holder back um yeah okay i was so excited to go like knock on people's doors we can do that another time oh my god but guess what my favorite meal is also at all time rice with a hamburger patty i can't believe this oh my god what is it a hamburger patty with rice you know they got the wagyu how much do you love this sauce i just love everything the citizens of la are gonna not be able to get our delivery services today i love that you didn't let go oh that's my favorite cup well you did a little bit so that's my favorite coffee oh here's my silverware do you have a napkin you have everything you need yeah okay wonderful oh baby this is so sweet oh my god well there's a much better reaction than i was even expecting this can i just tell you i'm so to the fact that everything you're talking about about the journaling and the therapy because i don't do it when i'm feeling great of course as well it's very important to uh no just do it it's the same thing with me and even meditation i know when i do it and i'm regular it changes my life it changes my ability to handle stress the biggest thing that i noticed when i first started doing it was like driving in la being used to being so angry and then the thing would happen that would normally make me angry and instead i was like oh nice move come on and i was like wow what was that that's a big one it's like dissipated my road rage yeah it's like if your brain had a heart rate it like just lowers it from like 140 down to 75 i feel like meditating when it's good but it can be frustrating do you ever get frustrated meditating i'm like i just cannot oh my god stick to my mantra and then i'll be like oh my god you can't even say your mantra for like four seconds without fucking your mind wandering to some other thing you're obsessing about yeah i use it a lot to help myself fall back asleep yeah uh-huh do your mantra while you're yeah just to get my mind off of whatever it is i'm obsessing over to help me fall back asleep oh my god this is so good that's your first time with it right yeah remember i ordered a turkey sandwich yeah we went i took them the whole time for the first time to lunch and i got this he's like i don't have a turkey sandwich and we oh man okay you get everyone gets to get what they want but they have so many unique offerings at this place but you did say it was the very it was the best turkey sandwich ever but i saw yours come out i'm like oh no what did i do and how do you like dumel i've known dumel for a long time we all kristin dumel and i did a movie together 19 years ago and i found him to be the most normal human being in show business like i don't even know if he knows he's in show business *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* i know huh he's such a good guy so handsome too he is and i think what makes him so great is he doesn't wear the handsome like to your point he's so normal he's so disarming that you're like oh yeah and also you're handsome yeah you almost forget oh yeah yeah then he takes his shirt off and you're like you just look like this don't you do you look like that i'm sad to not work with him anymore so by the way i did not know until this morning that we got canceled i didn't know that i know it's what how do you feel about that i'm so sad about it oh yeah i felt like we had such a good thing we all love each other so much but it did so well i reached out to you because i solved one of those numbers like however many hundreds of millions of minutes have been consumed almost like at the top of that list and i was so happy for you thanks i don't understand these things sometimes were you having at all any full circle moments like you're there on that show oh yeah there's a young cheerleader on the show *laughter* *laughter* you're now in like the tammy taylor role uh you're looking at this young girl what's her name lizzie yeah lizzie and i was just wondering was that obvious to you were you taking that in and did you feel like interesting feelings towards lizzie the first time we shot on that football field and i walked on and i saw the cheerleaders and i saw the foot i was like this is so surreal and i was like more than anything relieved to be the adult on set right because being the young one on set is not fun *laughter* because you're so young and at least me i was so green and i was so eager for to be liked by everybody and that i had to be everyone's best friend and there's so much anxiety in that and you told me when i interviewed you you had a lot of imposter syndrome happening like i don't belong here i don't deserve to be here and so i felt like i got a second chance or something yeah so i really embraced it and i had a lot of fun with it and i really enjoyed the peace that i had knowing i don't have to go out with everybody afterwards i'm going home i'm gonna drive an hour and a half i loved the position that josh and i were in we were the grown-ups and then there were the kids and we would be like all right guys you have fun right we're going home to our families try not to be too puffy tomorrow yeah yeah i really love getting older in those ways for that reason i think this business is unique in reminding you of your age all the time because it's like you get cast as a kid or the child of someone and then you get cast as brother i don't know now the parent and then i had a kid on a show i was like well we got to acknowledge yeah i would have a kid right now and then i remember craig t nelson on parenthood having to like really wrestle with like yeah he's playing a character that would die right like it's so in your face or i was on another show and the wonderful actor she had to have alzheimer's and it's like yeah this makes sense for me it's like it they can really make you confront your age all the time i was just watching sharon horgan's new show she's on a date with this older man and she's having to write text to her friend he's old as i'm like this poor guy yeah is he okay with that geez yeah yeah but so no i don't mourn not being the cheerleader anymore i'm actually very happy oh that's nice because i don't relate to that anymore i don't you know i like to say i feel like i'm still 25 years old but then i'm around a 25 year old and i'm like hmm yeah maybe not maybe not so much i'm not and that's not a bad thing it's just a different mentality a different way of processing life and i'm excited to keep evolving that and so i'm happy to not be in that space anymore of the young one i'm excited to expand i guess stay tuned for more mom's car we are supported by ubereats saving money doesn't have to mean settling for less with aldi on ubereats you can stock up on everyday essentials and aldi favorites at prices that are easy on your wallet from meal prep staples to household must haves aldi makes it easy to get what you need without overspending check out all that aldi has to offer for yourself on ubereats delivered in as little as 25 minutes get ten dollars off your first aldi order of forty dollars plus on ubereats with code aldi mom's car terms apply see app for details that was another one of my questions on my list aging what are you loving about it what are you hating about it i mean i'm hating that i'm like oh why does this thing in my back hurt i don't why can't i jump the way i used to like what are these little called the what does like what the fuck is this what is this weird thing i don't know you know there's crick in my neck i don't usually have cricks in my neck i hate that part of it of like your mind and your body not being totally aligned all the time what i love is is just the freedom of caring a little bit less yeah yeah you know you're just like a little bit less inclined to insert myself in anyone else's business oh i feel that all the time right when i'm listening to a debate or everyone's having in a conversation i'm like this is normally where i would enter with a super strong opinion and i sometimes now can just sit there and observe and that was kind of unimaginable to me i know and that feels like its own freedom increasingly too i think i look at everyone i'm like oh yeah man everyone's got some huge thing every single person we like to label people like oh that person's a narcissist and that person has borderline personality and this person is like but guess what everybody has something and if you're in a relationship especially for a long time it's like oh yeah man i'm broken this way you're broken that way they're broken this way like everyone chill we're all we're all fucking a little bit mangled and can we have a little bit of sense of humor about it does it all have to be so escalated i just want to have a little more sense of humor about all these broken parts and more tolerance it's like yeah that you know like a friend was just over and they're getting divorced and i was hearing all the reasons their partner sucked and objectively i bet they do yeah and but i was like yeah and then you suck too and i suck and everyone sucks it's like no for sure one person in the situation doesn't suck at all and the other one does i guess it's just a matter of does it suck too much uh-huh and so maybe i'll find someone's whose suck matches my side and we have the equal amount of tolerance for each other's sucks yeah and then you're trying to figure out like yeah what percentage is the right percentage like minimally i think i should be happy more than 50 of the time i don't want to be unhappy more than i'm happy you're trying to assess that i guess how do you know are you writing it down every day and then going okay so uh-huh 15 days this month i was happy yeah because when it sucks you're pretty convinced it's gonna suck forever and that it has sucked forever no right yeah yeah you're right what level of anxiety do you have career anxiety versus the past i've never really had career anxiety for some reason oh really i know thankfully or not thankfully maybe i'd be in a more successful place if i had a little more i've just always sort of trusted for some reason that i'm always gonna be okay yeah that's great with where i am in my career compared to where i've been i feel so not satisfied but proud of myself yeah would i be wrong i would imagine this rancing yeah ransom canyon that was a good moment right that was great yeah yeah okay actually before ransom canyon i was having a little anxiety okay yeah because i remember being so relieved at thinking you want me to be the lead of your show i'm in my 40s right that's happening yes yeah oh i love all time that was so delicious that was great i wish i had dairy queen for us spicy cold brew for dessert yes and flowers and oh my god and some prezzies in there this is too much guys it's not too much thank you okay What are your vices? My vices? Yeah. Do you have vices? Yeah. Do you ever, like, smoke cigarettes? I smoke weed. Oh, you smoke weed. Okay. That's not, I don't know. Is that a vice? It is. It is, yeah. I don't know why I'm trying to say it's not. Now I ask you what vices you have. I'm like, what do I do? But that's not a vice. Oh, not that? Do you prefer to have gummies, vape, or flour? Flour. Flour. A proper joint. Yeah. I love a proper joint. Old-fashioned joint. I just think with a gummy, it can be too strong. It takes too long. It goes away too, everything is less predictable. Right. With a joint, I love, you're going to feel it right away, and then it goes away in a couple hours. Very controllable. Uh-huh. Smells great. I love it, like, when you're listening to music, I love it with food, you know, it's like, it just kind of, like, enhances. And how about drinking? I had a glass of wine at dinner last night. I'm not a huge drinker. Because you feel like shit afterwards? Because I, even as I've gotten older, I even feel like shit during. I'm like, I don't, this doesn't, I don't think I like how this feels anymore. I don't want to start feeling horrible. Yeah, I got to say, you know, whatever, I haven't drank in 22 years, and I monitor everyone around me that's now my age and still drinks, and all I hear over and over again is like, oh, yeah, you feel fucking terrible. I'm like, well, I can't imagine it getting worse. Like, I felt so fucking bad from drinking. Of course, I drank so excessively, but still. I'm like, oh, thank God, because I would be heartbroken if I was having one beer, and in the middle of it, I felt like shit. Yeah. Yeah. I can't sleep and all that shit. That stuff. But I love the romance of it, of, like, being at dinner and having a glass of wine. It's delicious. Yeah, and you like your margaritas from Casa Vega. I love it. Is that it? Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I've spent most of my adult life just peeling back vices. It's like, I feel like by the time I was 22, I was already on everything, and I was probably a love and sex addict, and I was just, like, everything, and it's just been one thing after another. I have to eventually. I have to eventually take away or confront. So I took away the most harmful ones, which were cocaine and booze, but. Kaboom. But I think I added, like, TV as a vice. Oh. Okay. I mean, for real. I'm trying to think of maybe some of the things that are not. Well, eating occasionally, right? Is anything we enjoy a vice? I think anything that potentially has a destructive component. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. Which I don't even know why I would call that nicotine. Well, I would say nicotine as a vice, because I'm addicted to it, for sure. Okay. Because if I don't have it, I'm very grouchy, and I would do anything to get it if I needed it. Right. Yeah. Right. But you'll sometimes have little phases, right, where you're eating, like, I don't know, a hundred I-Chews for no reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Right? You'll get in little, you'll have little phases. Definitely. Or I eat pies. Like, I. Full pies? I eat full pies. Full pies. I'll eat a whole pint of ice cream. I'll eat a whole pint of the New York City Salmon Pug. To myself. It's really fun when Erin comes and shows up, because we often, we love watching TV together, and we'll sit down in the theater room, and I'll, like, hear a little, and I'm like, I wonder what he's into now. And they'll have, like, what were those bizarre flavored things you were eating for a while? They were, like, fucking ginger flavored. Ginger snacks? Oh, yeah, they were just ginger chews. Ginger chews. Like, from China. Yeah, and you would have a ton of those ginger chews. I carried about 250 with me any time I left the house. Wow. But also. Also, Minka, I can get addicted to almost anything. So, Kristen's really fun at a dinner party. She just starts listing the things I've been addicted to. So, like, there was a period where I was so addicted to Hall's, the fucking Hall's Mental Ibtis. Yeah. And I'd get the family pack size. Like the rub? Oh, the. That one. The rub. The rub. The rub. The rub. The rub. The rub. The rub. The rub. The rub. The rub. Your chest is. By the way, that sounds pretty great. I love it, too. I kind of want that addiction right now, to think about it. Rub it all over your chest that night. Or I got into these tea tree oil tooth. It's like, in a very addict-y way, it's like, I love them. And then I was like, there must be stronger ones. And then through some research, I found out there's these super strong ones from Australia. So, then I get those. And then I'm eating them so much that I have a fucking scab in my mouth. And Kristen's like, hon, you have scabs on your face from these tea tree oil. I'm like, I know. And it's worth it. It's the price you pay. It's worth it. It's the price of admission. For a good time. It's a great toothache experience. But you're not very addict-y, right? I'm not. Which is shocking, right? Which is shocking, yes. Because I come from a lot of people. A long line of them. Yeah, you've got the nature and nurture. Mm-hmm. I do. Double whammy. Maybe the nurture of it all scared me out of it. I don't know. I don't know if you can control it, though. Ooh, speaking of your book, did you read Cher's autobiography? No. Woo! Really? Oh, you must. Okay. Oh, it's a whopper. Really? Oh, yeah. Oh, cool. That gal has went through everything imaginable by the time she was 16 years old. I think you'll relate. Her mom was like, she'd have this boyfriend, this guy was this way, and then there was a rich boyfriend, they'd move to this nice house, and there was a dirtbag, and then they were in New York all of a sudden with a guy who's like a head of a department store. I will absolutely read that. It's so good. All right, working out. I've seen a lot of videos of you training. You have? I have. I've watched a lot of videos of you training. And you go fucking hard. I do go hard. You go hard. That's advice. No, no, that's not advice. We might be able to call it an addiction, but I don't know if I'm going to call it advice. Right, okay. Unless it was somehow. It was somehow harming you. You're not training. No, no, no. To the point where you get rafto and you're in the hospital. No, but okay, so it's more a therapy. It makes me so happy. It's my favorite hour of the day. And you feel incredible afterwards, yeah? I feel incredible afterwards. My body responds to it really well. And then other days I do hot yoga. I'm always taking some kind of class. I'm always trying something. Is there any workout you'll do on your own, solo? Like, do you do cardio? Will you go hiking? Oh, yeah, I do. I go hiking all the time. Especially now I have this really big dog. What kind of dog? A Bernadoodle. Oh, baby. Oh, is that a Burmese mountain dog and a doodle? Yeah. Mika! Yeah. Wait, okay, those are my favorite dogs, the Burmese. But I couldn't have one because I'm allergic. But now I can have one? Yeah, he's the best. We call it a Burmadoodle? Bernadoodle. Oh, fuck me. He's so cute. Oh, he's so cute and dumb. Yeah, he's so dumb. And smart. Stupid and smart. He's goofy and also way too smart. Handsome and smelly. Yeah, all of it. It seems like the past. And the pattern for these doodles is they're impossible until they're a year old. Or at least yours were fucking assholes. I remember when he got one. I was so bad. He did it all. He got out of treatment and within a year he had a wife and a dog and all this stuff. I'd go over to his house and this fucking doodle was eating every pair of shoes in the house. It was barking all day long. And I was like, I can't believe someone would choose this. But you're very tolerant. Well, yeah. And there was never anything calm. That's what's happening around me in my life. So I know that you transition into a plastic lifestyle. And what about do you have the sensation of feeling strong? Absolutely. Yeah. Yes. And some days I'll notice how strong or not strong I feel. And I might. Yeah. It affects you, right? Today I was really strong. I was doing push ups and pull ups in ways she was like, damn, I'm like, I know I'm very strong today. Yeah. What did I eat last night? Yeah. How has your relationship with your body evolved over the years? I've kind of always been like since high school, I've been in the gym. In high school I was a kickboxer and so kickboxing, we were always in the gym and we were always working out. Yeah. Yeah. And so I've kind of always wanted and felt strong and felt good in my body. I think I have a pretty healthy relationship. You've never had like dysmorphia? No. No. Not an addict and no dysmorphia? Not an addict in any way, but I do have all the other shit. I am terrible at regulating my emotions when I'm in fight or flight. I'm really bad at knowing that I'm not in danger, you know? Uh huh. Your body's telling you you are. Yes. And I have rage in me that I need to like really check because I can get so angry when I feel so misunderstood or like taken advantage of, or if I feel like someone's trying to trick me or lie to me, I can, I get really angry at injustice. Uh huh. Uh huh. If something feels unfair, I can get- Disproportionately mad. Completely unnecessarily angry. Yeah. It doesn't fucking end. Right. It's never gonna end and that's how it is. And that's hard to swallow. You either embrace that and work through it every time. Right. But I do desire, like, can't there just be like homeostasis? Like, can't you eventually learn enough and figure enough out? Mm-mm. To just have a good time all the time? I mean, everything is the perfect analogy to working out. It's not like, you don't do pushups one time and you're like, "Great, built." No. Yeah. Right. Right. Like, no, I gotta, two days from now, I gotta do it again or it goes away. Yeah. Yeah. That's what goes on in my head every time. Every time you work out. But I just, yeah, I'm like, "Well, I just did this last week." All done. I gotta do it again. I just thought that this morning. You were saying how strong you felt, Minka, this morning. Yeah. I felt so weak and I- Oh, no. And I, um, and, and I don't use it. I don't use it. I don't use it. I don't use it. Oh, no. I don't feel like this. This was something special. And I, it's funny, 'cause we talked about everything, age, all that. Yeah. I was especially having a day, I think, 'cause I woke up sore as fog. And I haven't done anything. My entire left side of my back. Oh. Um, my shoulder. Um, so- You got rolled left. Yeah. I lifted weights a little this morning, and I go- It hasn't been this hard. It hasn't been this hard. And it hasn't been this hard. So I lifted weights a little this morning and I go, it hasn't been this hard in years. I have those days too. And I have to apologize. I'm sorry. I'm like, I can't. To the trainer. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know what it is. It just is. I wish I could be open to direction. When I think about having a trainer and having it like. apologize for being out of gas i love it so much this girl her name is taylor and her body is like i love her body so it makes me trust her so much i'm like yes whatever you say make me do that and i love going in for the hour and not being in control and having her tell me exactly what to do because she knows best yeah yeah yeah i think he might have a problem with it i might oh he might yeah yeah although i would love to have a trainer whose body i like that i stared at the whole time just let me look at your body truly and this is why a worked for me it's like don't tell me what to do just do what you do that results in this and then i'll copy it over here and you're not authority figure and then i can do it so yeah i could have a trainer where i just watched him work out and then i did whatever he was doing well make a um you have to open your present oh okay yeah there's this stuff in the bag who is this fish soap on a rope yeah this is yeah oh my god that smells so good i presume you take showers i do sometimes okay after the gym why did you do this well obviously i had kristen yeah somebody helped us oh yeah that's what you put on your nightstand you can put your earrings in there you can put your roaches in there oh my god it's so beautiful i love that you and um well i spoke to sally sally r sally i spoke to sally i love that i found her on instagram like who's she hanging out with the most on instagram and then i dm'd her and thank god she responded to me but you guys are sorry you have an interior design business yeah we're starting so you love little things right i love that little thing have you been doing it for 20 years is that what i saw i've been friends with her for 20 years oh okay but over the last several years we've worked on a few houses together now okay really and we're like what do we do this is like the happiest we work so well together we speak the same language we make each other's ideas better and we just work together so well and it's like the happiest i've never been happier than when i'm designing and like coming up with ideas or like creatively problem solving yeah she's like uh minka has to have um the smells got to be right everywhere she goes uh the lighting's right like she's very conscious of all these little elements in her environment probably to a fault yeah yeah i'm i will if i go to a game night or i go to someone's house where are your light switches and i'm adjusting the light wherever i am um thank you so much for making time i adore you i hope this was fun i hope your salmon was good this is amazing what a fun few hours thank you i actually really needed this okay good thank you so much we are supported by allstate checking allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance not checking that your phone was backed up before you upgraded the guy at the store said you're all set and well you believed him only to open your photos and they're gone yeah checking first is a good plan so check allstate first for an auto quote it could save you hundreds you're in good hands with allstate potential savings very subject to terms conditions and availability allstate north american insurance company and affiliates northbrook illinois