Mom gossip, cottage cheese, other trends we're not falling for - with the Abbys

- Day high is for men. - I haven't used to actually a lot of times because I'm so avidly against him. When man gets on it, I'm like, take in another room. Cottage cheese. I'm not falling for it, don't fall for it. When putting a cottage cheese in everything. Red light therapy. Reverse your wrinkles. I do not think so. You've been scammed. - She wrote the article breaking up with my toxic friend group. This is too high school for me. I'm done participating. - There's actually no real grownups in the world. - I know, we're all winged at the biggest trap women can fall into is the trap of my gossip. - Always here to share the hope. - And the heart with heart and humor. - Welcome back to Always Here. I'm your host Abby Howard. - And Abby Howard. - And we're here to share the hope. - The hope in the heart with heart and humor. - Abby, I have to tell you about my day. - What happened? (laughing) - I mean, I saw you a lot this morning. This day was just incredibly irresponsible. And I just, this is like so type B. If you were type A, I'm sorry for the sweat. So this might cause you. Okay, I'm on phase. I know I have to be at Bible study at 9.30. I'm trying to figure out what to do with my children because I am still being very paranoid about bringing CJ to childcare to get sick during six seasons with Vivian. Maybe two paranoid, some may say. Either way, it was still there. So I sat my alarm for seven. I oversleeped by an hour. - Okay. - Okay. - So that I'm just going off for, - I'm sorry, an hour and 15 minutes. - Okay. - It ate 15 when I wake up. I have to leave the house at nine. - So I'm looking, I'm like okay. - Wait, CJ's just still in bed? - Yes, but you know what? I do briefly remember him screaming. Mama! The lights green! - Oh, and he just stayed. - He just got books instead of reading. - Wow. - Yeah. But he's kind of, he's in a being scared. He doesn't want to leave his room. So he'll just sit in bed, you know what I mean? (laughing) So it's not, I'm like okay, I have 45 minutes to get me, CJ, Vivian ready. Nurse the baby. Feet, CJ. - That was like 45 minutes. - Breakfast. No, little she nurses for 40 minutes. So then I was like, okay, go. Start running around. I'm rushing out the door. I am 15 minutes late to drop my kids off to my parents, which means I'm then 15, no, I'm 10 minutes late to Bible study. - Good thing we were walking into the exact same time. - Yes, I was like, I feel validated. Honestly, I'm okay. I get I walk in at the same time. - It's pathetic. - So then I get there. I think the study's only going to be an hour long. It's almost, I mean it was like an hour and a half. - Yeah, which was great. I loved it. I was not saying they're antsy. But then I got out and I was like, oh my gosh. I have a lot to get done in the next few minutes before I have to go record. So I'm driving home. I call my mom. I'm like, okay, I'm going to go home. I'm going to run because I want to work out. And then I have to edit a video. And then I'm going to pump. And then I'm going to run the milk by you because you have both the children. And I'll do all that in an hour and a half. So those are my goals. I'm getting the car. I call my mom. I'm driving. I realize I'm long side of the house because my parents and I switched cars so they had the car seats. I have no way to get into the home. So then I call my mom and I'm like, hey, I'm actually headed towards you to get the keys. So I drive 20 minutes now, 20 minutes, and then 10 minutes home. So now it's 30 minutes instead of 15 minutes commute. Not as much time. I get there, I get the keys. I go home. I have to go to the bathroom because I've been holding it all day. I go to the bathroom and say, I'm going to go for a run. I go to leave my house to go on a run. And I think the one time, I'm like, I'm not going to bring my keys. I will leave the house unlocked. I never go. I never not lock my house up. The one time, I'm like, I'm not going to bring my keys. I shut the door. I immediately turn around and go, I locked the keys inside the house. [LAUGHTER] I have, again, locked out of my house. And I call my parents and go, hey, mom, I've locked out again. [LAUGHTER] So my dad has to drive over. I'm like, well, I'm just going to run until you get here. I run a mile. 1.62 miles, I'm heaving. I'm dying. [LAUGHTER] And I got such a stress, like, pent up energy. I'm running so fast. 9 minutes and 22 second pace, so fast. And I'm dead. My dad comes, he looks just like disappointed at me. He's like, you all right, like, what's going on with you today? So I do have time to-- I love you, dad, by the way. I worked out with him on my knees, so fun. He's so fun, he's always down for the ride. But anyway, I didn't have time to do anything except shower, put makeup on. I pumped in the car, and I ate my salad all while driving. Crushing in. I come up, I walk in, I have one pump on one side, and a big old salad bowl on one hand. I'm like, I'm ready to record the podcast. Give it to me. The best part is she walks. She got the pump cord hanging down. Pretzel's running up to here. She has pretzel's got to get back home. She's trying to eat the tubes. She's trying to get the tubing. She will, she'll get it. Inbicious, so irresponsible. And hey, I was on time today. You crushed it. Hey, you were here earlier, before 2 o'clock. I was good. That was just-- I just had to tell you that. Oh, my gosh. No, I'm sorry, I was just so frustrating. I just had to tell you all the plans I had in between, and you were like, that's a lot. We're going to interrupt our episode real quick. Just ask that you guys take five seconds to hit that like button, subscribe button, follow button, share button. Any button you see, if you wanted to hit it, we'd be very, very grateful. Thank you guys for watching the podcast. Now back to the episode. OK, do you want to start us off with Hope's and Hearts? Yeah, I'm minor light. I said I was like, maybe I'll go a little lighter this week. It's good. My hope was I had so much fun at the shower this weekend. That was really fun to do. I feel like a lot of times for parties, I focus on making the food, and I have no decorations. So this time, I was like, I'm going to order food and decorate. And I honestly kind of like that switch up. It was so cute. It was fun. Thanks for helping. Oh, my gosh. It was so-- I walked in and I was blown away. Thank you. Everything from Amazon. It was really fun. Really cute. Crush. And the party was so fun. Thanks. Yeah, it was a good shower. I have a couple hopes. Our fireplace is looking awesome. I'm excited. Cale's crushing. I talked about that last week. And Vivian slept the night for the first time ever. It didn't happen again. But it was glorious. That's all you need. Yeah, I woke up just so frightful. Would you have been aided? Yeah. So that was really great. That's fun. My heart is just-- my diet has been terrible. I literally am like, I need to cook. I've just been eating out so much. And so maybe tonight will be the first night that I make dinner again. I genuinely don't think I've cooked a meal in this entire-- like I cooked a dinner this entire calendar year. It is-- whoa. That's really weird for you. [LAUGHTER] I made waffles for dinner one night. It's just-- it's going up the door. I need to get back on the cycle. Yeah, once you fall off the wagon of cooking, it's so hard to get back on. The wagon is-- Why can't I go to the grocery store all of December? Right. It's a shock. It was bad. You're just feeding for scraps at this point. You're like, I literally need to be like-- I'm like, I'm like, I'm going to talk about it again. Oh my gosh. I was thinking about this. You've thrown so many parties. These are like one to two parties a month. Yeah. I was just thinking about that the day. I'm like, we have so many fun things going on. I'm like, wow, Abby's literally thrown a million parties. Thank you. And then it has three baby showers, a favorite things, party, Christmas, Thanksgiving, hosting. Yeah. I think that was our goal in buying this house. We're like, we want to have people over all the time. And we have done that. Yeah. So oh my gosh, you're very generous with your home. Thank you. So hopefully I can go to the grocery store and maybe get some eggs, something, get some chicken. Let's just get back on. Because I feel like, like you said, once you get off the wagon, it's really hard to really hard to get back on. I actually don't have a hard for this week. OK, sorry. I thought I did. But I just feel like, yeah, it's been a great smooth week. I shared my hard today just being frazzled. Frazzled. Frazzled pants lady over here. Yeah. Yeah, just crazy. That's frustrating. We have a fun. Wow. That's crazy. I'm so curious. Wow, that's crazy. Wow, that's crazy. That's crazy. Have you heard about the celebrity mom group drama? No. Then the celebrity, not mom talks to the celebrity mom group. These are celebrities that we know and love. Ashley Tisdale, Haley Duff. I'm sorry, Hillary Duff. Oh, really? Nandy Moore. Megan Tisdale, essentially. Yes, that's why it's become a top topic. So Ashley Tisdale wrote an article for the cut, talking about how she let go of her toxic mom friends. And she didn't name names in this article at all. But people are speculating because she was very public about the friend group that she was hanging out with. And it included all those people that we just listed. Wow. They were very public on social media. They did a lot of things together, play dates, all kinds of stuff. So it's pretty-- it's gotten a little nasty. What? Yeah, Adi, do you have more detail? So she wrote that article called "Breaking Up with My Toxic Mom Group." And I think it's quite ironic, because one of the very first things it says is sometimes I'll say something off hand-in-late only for it to turn into a headline or start a conversation on TikTok. Is the second sentence of this article? And that's exactly what happened. Exactly what happened. People took it and ran with it. So she published that article. And-- Like, what was the tone of the article? It was more like trying to liberate women from being a bad friend group. - Yeah, so it says. She wrote the article, it's called "Breaking Up With My Toxic Friend Group." And she wrote that she found this friend group during the pandemic. She felt like she had found her people, like she was really, really happy with it. And then things kind of started to change, started to notice there were side chats or side conversations. People were planning things without her getting invited to it. They were at a kid's birthday one time and they were planning their next thing and not having Ashley in that conversation. And so they were making plans without her. She ended up texting the mom group and being, "This is too high school for me. I'm done participating." So she was very upfront kind of breaking up with the group. Then she wrote this article and she mentioned one of them was worse than the others. In this mom group, people are speculating that's Hillary Duff. But they didn't. Like her. I know. But what did she hear with her husband? Well, then she wrote this article, it came out in the cut. Then Hillary, no one, she didn't mention who they were or at all, people were speculating. Then Hillary Duff's husband went on to Instagram and made an Instagram story kind of mocking her post to explain, "I'm just going to show and we can show it on screen too." This is the picture that is in her article. I don't think I have the picture of him actually. He just did the same pose on a couch. And he had lined it. And he had lined it. And the headline of it said, "When you're one of the most self-obsessed tone deaf person on earth, other moms tend to shift focus to their actual toddlers." Oh. Isn't that crazy? I know. I literally like my stomach dropped. Then that. Then Ashley's husband got involved. Naturally. Naturally. He's an Instagram story. Which honestly he should. If someone came at me like that, someone's husband, get in their hand. I'd be like, "You better get involved." Get stuck in the room. So he just reposted a quote from someone else, like it was a different post. It said, "Underrated life skill, colon, pausing to decide if it's worth your energy." And so that is where everything's at now with. So who's in this supposed friend group? The only ones I knew were the ones we mentioned. Hillary Duff, Megan Moore, or Lady Moore, Megan Trainor. And some other people who aren't interested in this? They're influencers. They're like maybe in that world. But not necessarily. It's stylists. Oh, the chef. What's her name? You could look it up. She's a big. Right. Right? No, a big cook and craters. Well, that's interesting because I feel like a lot of those people are like very respected women. Yes. That's disappointing. Is that her name? Yeah. Cooking with Gabby, I think is her account. Oh, okay. Yeah. So I feel like. So I hope you've been writing articles, "Meet the moms of Ashley Tisdale's former mom group." And it makes nothing. Yeah. It's all speculation. Yeah. And Ashley's never confirmed anything or any of that. I do think it poses an interesting conversation for us of like mom and friend group drama. Yes. And I don't know how you guys feel. I don't feel like I personally get offended when there are side chats or things that I'm not invited to. That's something that I struggled with for a while because my biggest fear is that people don't feel included. That's something that just like that bugs me so much. But that's just a fact of life. Like there's things where it's like, "Okay, this can be a big group and this can be a small group." Or, "This isn't personal, but because of your schedule, this is getting." And so that's something I have had to learn to let go, but it was hard to let go of. And I do fear that sometimes that does step on people's toes. But that naturally happens. Can I just say one thing before we enter this is that I have learned as I am now 27. Every year I'm like, "Okay, people are going to, we're going to feel grown up and everyone's going to be grown up." And then I just realized there's actually no real grown ups in the world. I know. We're all winged in it. Everyone is. And the thing is, is that no one really necessarily, there's not an age where you mature out of these things. And so sometimes you can find yourself maybe in your forties and doing the same things that you did in high school. So, that is something that I'm like, "Oh, that was a shocker for me." I was like, "Maybe once we get out of high school, then this will be over. Maybe once we get out of college. Maybe once we all are in our careers and have kids, then we'll get out." Nope. Still never. And I've kind of just reached that point where I'm like, "No one's really grown up." Totally. That's a little sad and scary. Yeah. That's a letting go of that does kind of like giving some freedom to make adult decisions this. Yeah. So you can give people grace. You're like, "Oh, they're just doing the same little thing." They're just doing this life for the first time. I feel that. Like when I, when Ashley to sell a message, like a breakup text, to me, I'm like, I just feel like, if I didn't like a group of friends, I would just kind of phase out. Ghosted out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah. Not everything needs to be a big conversation or needs to be stated. And if you don't like people, I'm like, "Why do we have to create drama?" And then call people out on things like, "You can just remove yourself." Especially when you are such a public person. Yes. The implications are too severe to be doing that type of thing. Yes. Yeah. But I just feel like when I was younger, I always was like, "Oh, I have to let them know why I'm leaving or why I don't want to be friends or how I feel about this thing." And I feel like part of just being growing up was like, "I actually, it doesn't matter if they know or not. I'm just going to remove myself." Well, also because a lot of it is personal too. Like why? It's not like you don't need to say, like, you guys are the problem. So I'm leaving. I can think a lot of it could just be like, "Hey, like what you're looking for in a friendship is different than what maybe you're looking for." That's also something I've learned a lot. Like, it's not necessarily not everything is personal. Right. It's just not a good fit. Like, you can leave somewhere and just be like, "Yeah, they're awesome. I'm awesome. We're not the same." We're not awesome together. We're not awesome together. That's fine. And like, it's not personal. It doesn't have to be any like, we don't have to label someone as bad for us to give ourselves permission to leave something. Totally. That makes sense. Totally. Yeah, I think the conversation of mom groups is very interesting because I have felt good fits and I have felt like wrong fits. And I think you honestly know kind of quickly, right? Yeah. I think the hardest. What do you say the hardest part of mom groups is? I don't want to say. Like, you don't want. Like, it's hard. I don't want to judge other people's parenting. Yeah. With their kids. Because you're with the mom and the kids. You see a lot of it up front. It's like, I actually see firsthand how you discipline, how you speak to your kid, how you get involved in situations. And then I see your kid's behavior. And so I never want to judge because I'm also like, I don't know what I'm doing either. We're all winging it. So I feel like that's a hard part, it's like making sure that I'm not, I'm not critical and just have like a, that's what they're doing it. And that's good. We're all see how long our kids will be in the end. We'll see how our kids are doing. 18 years from now. Like, great. What did you say, Adi? For me, especially because I feel like our group is, like, the group that we have come up together is very large, is like, you don't have to be best friends with everyone in the group. And you can be like, I feel like with our conjoined group of like mom friends, a lot of them I'm friends with. I'm not super deep with a lot of them. I have another group of friends that I'm more deep with and not feeling like I have to do that with every person. And so I think it's just been sweet, at least for me to join this season and just seeing everyone love on my baby. I've got the good sides of it so far. I think the most important thing when, like, starting to find, like, your group of people that you're going to raise your kids with is because also you're kind of hand selecting your kids' friends, at least for the early part of their life, is to cultivate a healthy environment from the beginning. And I think the biggest trap that women, like I will hold my, like, I'm included in this, can fall into is the trap of like gossip. And that is something that is like, I constantly, like, and I feel like I know, like as soon as I walk away from things, I'm like, that would maybe win a little too far. And like, just always being aware of that because that is poison to large friend groups, specifically. Like, and so whether it's not even like, oh, her husband or her kids, or there's just so many factors when it's a mom group thing because most people are married or most people have multiple children and it's like, there's just so many topics that you could touch on that's just like, it's, it's, it's never, ever worth it. It's never going to do it. There's nothing good that will come of that. And so it is a fine line to, to navigate, but just always keeping that at the back of my mind. Like, there's always something I try to remember because when there's so many people, that could, that is where the whole cards could crumble down, you know. Yes. I would 100% agree. I feel like, I mean, I reflect back on some of my past friend groups. I'm like, why didn't it feel like there was a lot of drama ever? And I think it's because we really try not to gossip about each other. And I think it makes a huge difference. And I think our friends are pretty good. Like, oh, if it starts to get in there, we're good at all like pivoting the conversation and changing it up. I totally agree. I think, and that's something like I admire about both of you and I think I've learned from you guys because I, I love the gossip. I love the celebrity gossip a lot. It's less personal, but it sometimes can relate into other areas. And so I feel like I've grown from both of you knowing that, oh, I'm not going to gossip because one, I know you guys don't want it. And also it's teaching me that that's not nice either, you know. So I feel like I've learned a lot from you guys in that. Transitioning that conversation is, what about the husbands? I think that's so crazy that he posted that and that Hitler was like, go for it babe. Maybe he did. Maybe he did. I mean, that's, that's bold. Which maybe he was like, I needed, if everyone on the internet was coming for his wife, maybe he's like, I just need to call a spade, the subhead is a mom group tell all all through a father's eyes. - Oh my goodness. - I don't, I don't wanna talk about them specifically. Like, my opinions on those people, 'cause I almost did, but I almost gossiped. (laughing) But that is a crazy thing. Like if Caleb did that, I think I'd be embarrassed. - Yeah. Just getting involved in, like, my drama. - You know, maybe the best thing you could do is support your wife privately, like first and foremost. - Yeah. - And, I mean, it all depends, I guess, on what she wanted though, you know what I mean? - Totally. - It also wasn't, he is the one who posted that, and then it was like, oh, he's confirming this is the group. He was the first one to confirm that that was the group. - Yeah. - The other side of this that I think comes into mom groups a lot is the side of differing opinions, differing beliefs. I think these two have differing political views, and people are speculating that that came into the factor too, so how do you deal with mom groups in having those different beliefs within a group? - That's a good question. Our group is very diverse. - Very diverse. - Yeah. - I think this is just something that I think is relatively new, but everyone is latched on to the fact that if you don't agree with someone, then you can't be friends, you can't talk. You're also, they're a bad person. - Right, yeah, if you believe that, that's your character and you're bad to the group. - You gotta cut them out. - Yeah, that is so not how the world works. Honestly, we could all take a note from Zootopia too. - I've made it. - What makes you, you, and what makes me, me, makes we better. - I love that. - I love Zootopia too. - I might have miscoded that, but that's what I gathered from Zootopia too. We need to be able to hold both. Like, they are, I enjoy being with them, and they're a good friend, and we view things differently. We actually need to view that as a good thing, because that is actually how we refine ourselves as people, and also, are able to be more open-minded, and I think this is, and balanced. - Yeah, I need to be balanced out and called out, and even just, like, stretch my thinking. Like, I need to have people on all sides of everything to talk about things with. - And even if I still disagree, when I hear your point, I'm like, okay, cool. - Yeah, I have a lot of respect when you can, like, if I can say my piece and you can say your piece, and in order to, like, sweet, let's go get coffee. - Yeah. - Like, that's totally fine, and this is the, this is honestly really dangerous trend. That's, we're heading down. And, yeah, I have a husband that, like, loves to lean into controversy and difference. And so, I have learned to appreciate, to, like, the fact that it's like, okay, like, the first time we meet, maybe it's not the first time we meet, but this often happens with us. Like, we're getting dinner with a couple for the first time. And it's like, we just touch on everything that we view differently, and we're, so there are some of our best friends. Like, so many times. But, yeah, I don't know. I, I don't think I would, actually, I guarantee I wouldn't like if my husband defended me in that way. I think a part of me would be like, thanks, babe. - Yeah. - For trying to defend me. - I love you. - But another part would be like, this actually is making the situation so much worse, probably. - Yeah. - So, man, that's, that's tough. - That's tough. - That's tough, yeah. I feel bad for all of them. I'm sure all of them feel sad. I feel all of them feel attacked by the internet for different things, which is obviously just a hard place to be. But I feel like it did start a good conversation about mom groups. - I will say the person that speaks the loudest on things I tend to question the most, where I'm like, you chose to make this all a big public thing. I wonder what your internal dialogue was like with those women before you just decided to put it on such a big scale. - Yeah, and sometimes I wonder about timing. Like, it seems like we can be the breakup with the friend group, whichever friend group was recent. And then she spoke about it. I'm like, if it was five years from now, I don't think I would think anything of it. And it wouldn't have been a big deal, but since it's so recent, too. And she was like, posting with these girls and stuff. You know, it's like the timing, too. I would agree with that. - I just feel like life has a lot of things going on. - Everything's new on. - We don't need to have. - Girl drama. - I'm a girl drama on top of it. Gosh, kids. - We don't even need to fight. - Gosh. - This is bigger for us to fry around here. - Dang it. Well, that's disappointing. I hope that they resolve it. - They resolve it. - This is also post on January 1st. - Woof. - The article is fresh. - Fresh. - Well, dang it. - It makes me feel differently about some of those people, which I don't like. - I don't. Well, I mean, I just feel differently that they like went public with something like that. - Oh, sure. - Maybe just Ashley. - Yeah, and Haley and Hillary. I feel like they're the main two. - Dang it. - Because I just feel like Ashley's want to talk about it and then Hillary in her husband. I'm like, I feel like that must have been dialogue inside their home to make him want to like share that. - He would have like a photo shoot. Like he said it out. - That was a plan. - Yeah, make sure. (laughing) - I know, cover. That's been all the topic online lately. - Dang it. - I know. Maybe they find new friend groups. - Yeah. - We have a video kind of, I saw online. - Oh yeah, I honestly, I think we should just describe the diagram. - Okay. - Because it might be too hard to put the whole thing in. - Yes. - I can't, I was scrolling, and I saw this video. I thought it was so funny. - Yeah, on the topic of friendships. - Yes. - Yes, thank you for the segue. - Yes. (laughing) - You're diving around there. - That's what we got to work on is the segue. - The segue. - The segue. - It's so great. - The art of the segue. - My dad gives good feedback. I saw this video online just scrolling, and it made me pause and watch the whole thing, and I immediately wondered what friend am I. And so yeah, I do want to explain the diagram. - We sent it, I love this. Okay, so it has four quadrants. So the people that are likely to plan things, but are also flaky, he calls them captains. Because they're coming hot to group chats. They're like, "Yes, we're doing it." - Let's do it. - We gotta go in. - But then they will bail a lot of the time. - I'm busy. I actually can't make it, you guys. - Oh, I'm fine. - My kids say, you know, they're just like random stuff that pops up. - Totally, totally. - Okay, then the people that don't plan things and are flaky, he calls them fruit flies. He's like, "This is the people that just kind of, they just pop in." - Pop in? - Wow. - You're here. - That's time of year, like, here you are. - You are, yeah. - Awesome. They just like probably, I picture the people that like don't ever respond in a group chat, but we'll just very rarely just like, we'll appear. - Yeah. - Awesome. - Yeah, totally. - Okay, people that don't plan things, but aren't flaky, he calls them golden retrievers. These people show a shockingly low amount of agency on their own life. They love when people plan things. And they are like locked in, but they don't ever, take the initiative. - Take the initiative, yeah. And then the people that are not flaky and also plan things, he calls them bees. And he says that they fluctuate from being like, super chill to not chill at all. They'll send you an angry text. If you don't show up to their birthday, they keep all their bees close to the hive. They like, "Hashtag will be a good buddy." And are like, grouping people together often. So, I think that we all know where we are. We all know what we talk about where we fall. I'm curious to leave in the comments where you guys fall. 'Cause I think this is good self-reflection time. - Send it to your friends too to see like, what do you think I am? - Yeah, it's Pete Balmer, that's who made the video. You can go look him up and find it. - Abby, you're a golden retriever. - I'm 100% a golden retriever. - I never planned a thing, but you ask me, I'm in and I'm down and I will be there. - Yeah. - And I will not, I will not bail. - You will be late. - I'll be late, but I'll be there. (laughs) - Yeah, that's funny. - You're definitely a bee. - Yeah. - You play at everything, a million parties. (laughs) - Do I, I do feel like, when I was like, oh, I wouldn't send someone an angry text, but I'm like, mm, I never got an angry text. - I wouldn't send an angry text, I would be like, hey, would like to know. (laughs) - You are a ZB. - Yeah. (laughs) - That was me when I was back and forth that I probably was coming this weekend. I was like, I don't know. - Oh, if I'm gonna make it. - She flaked. - I call her out. - You did flake, I do. - Listen, I texted. It said I was like-- - I think it's still flaking up in the day of the month. - I am a captain. - That's good. - I like to plan things. I will be in the group chat. - Totally. - I will tell Abby the things that she should plan. (laughs) And then I also will be like, I don't know if I can make it. - It's gonna happen. - We're sleep training, Brielle, so I can't leave the house. I mean, Blake worked all week, so. - Yeah. I think there's a beauty in that where you don't take it so seriously. We were able to be like, this is actually, it would be a super inconvenience. And sometimes I'm like, it's really inconvenience, but I have to go. 'Cause I have to go. - Yeah, I literally absolutely. I can't look myself in the mirror if I flake. I literally can. - I know. I'll be sick as a dog and I'm like, I gotta go. I said, yes, I said, yes. - I wish it could be more honest, which is that maybe that's not the nice part of being like, I just don't think I'm up for going today. - I just don't think I'm up for going today. (laughing) I don't know. People have said that to me before and I kind of was like, yeah, don't say that. (laughing) - I'll keep lying. - I gotta be honest. One time we were like planning, we hadn't seen these people in a long time. This was years ago, no one can speculate who this is. And we were in town. Like, we came all the way to the state that they live in. And we're like, okay, we had dinner plans. And then like an hour before they're like, they have no kids, we had kids. And they're like, we just sat down in the couch and we just can't get off the couch today. And I was like, I was like, ah! (laughing) That's not an acceptable excuse. (laughing) Maybe that's the bee in me, but I was like, what? - Yes. I'd be like, laziness is different than like, oh, the base here cannot make it. And we were sleep training and literally did not sleep. but all. I think that's different than like I just don't want to get up. I think there are a part of me appreciates that honesty with another part of me is like that's such a lame excuse. I know. I think people will fall all across the board on this opinion. So it'll be like be honest and then we'll be like no okay as does it change when it's a pairing you and Caleb together invited to somewhere you and Matt together because when I'm with Blake it's even higher level of flakiness. Really? Yeah because Blake doesn't want to do outings. So if I want to go and he doesn't want to go we end up not going. See if Caleb is involved we are 100% going. When we first got married it was one weekend like came in all joling he's like what do you got going on this weekend and I go what do you mean I'm hanging out with you he goes what I've asked four people to hang out like he's so extroverted and wants to hang out and I will not plan anything. Is he a bee? No he doesn't really take initiative to plan things. I think he was probably before we had kids and he started working more but yeah not as much now I wouldn't say. Matt is so very much a goal in retriever and I actually like I remember within this happen I was like I take for granted how down you are for literally any plan I throw at you and I have to give you that appreciation because I literally think about it well because I think about Blake my brother like he's like I and I think about my own father who's literally a repl they're replicas of each other like they are just like so they like what they like and they don't want to stray from that and I think Matt could not be more open because and here's the day that it really hit me is that one day at two o'clock I was like we're going to a couple's private Pilates class and your legs are going to be in these stir-ups and I just remember being in that class I was like he didn't know when he woke up this morning that I had the schedule he didn't know an hour before this happened that I had scheduled he just came I'm going to be so honest it's because we're middle children he's like we all have our older siblings plan everything for us our parents plan everything for us and we were just along for the ride dude is along for the ride we yeah we're he's along for the ride I'm the same way I'm like I want to do things I'm not going to plan him gosh yeah I don't know why I became a bee but I kind of think I've always happened yeah you've always your mom's that way too so you're you're both that way and then Blake is like his dad because I love having plans I want to tell you that I saw this pillow at home goods and it was like lover of canceled plans and I was like what why I like literally love having plans because I'm like that's keeping me excited I'm like I can't wait to do that it can be the most simple thing in the world but if we if I like think ahead I'm like tonight we're gonna make frozen pizza and watch a movie on the couch when the kids are about I'd be like plans I love it I just like to look forward to something I don't always feel sad and people cancel on me if it's a night thing if it's during the day I usually feel bummed but if it's a night thing I'm like oh good I could just chill yeah like the other night we were I had a girls night with my friends that I was hosting and they were like oh should we cancel not everyone can make it and they're like no we're gonna do it and I was like I kind of want to be nice to cancel then they all came and I was so happy like it was so fun but I do get fall it's not around like an hour before something is planned I'm like gosh dang it I really wish I didn't have that totally maybe I am more extroverted than I realized you were one of the most extroverted people I've ever met really yes yes yes and I'm not saying extroverted as outgoing I mean like you you were energized being around people yeah yeah like after okay after we hang out with people I'm like what do you even do now they're like I like we'll talk to I want to debrief with Matt and Matt's like so exhausted he's an introvert on the same I'm be even though I'm always the last to leave I can't leave for some reason yeah you are last I always linger and then in the car I'm always like did I stay too long did I overstay my welcome you are not he over things everything too that's the only thing I ever overthinking my life I think it's because I used to not being included the things that is a knife to my heart I know I used to not be invited and then I was like well I must not be cool enough to hang out with people I mean that's sad so now I don't yeah I think that's maybe why I usually have to words I'm like I think I was annoying and I stayed too long oh I always think about that I'm like I was so annoying with what I just said or I talked too much right did too much and I never think that ever ever ever ever ever ever ever it's just I unpacked it out of you one day and she was like you were just like Matt he like asked questions I'm like maybe anyone thought anything of that yeah whoa I don't ever over think I don't think about the things that I say it's really just my length of time or my present I'm like is my present a bother like that's more so that's deeper maybe that's worse who cares what I say when I'm around I can be talking about my body being here but it's disruption they hate me well this is fun send it to your friends are you a bee are you a golden retriever are you a flute fruit fly are you a captain great there's like it's like as you're going through it's like that that that yeah yeah I do feel like I've been a lot more flaky recently though so I'm it's been a season it's been connecting I've never felt like you never flaked with me here's the thing about Abby is she probably same with you you will always be there I don't matter how late if I said yes I will be there like let's even say like you were gonna come over and watch housewives one night and I'm like I don't know if she's ever coming she said she was gonna come then it's like 8 30 and she comes she's here I'm like yeah cool great you will inconvenience yourself I'm like that was not inconvenient but you didn't have to do all three do that yeah yeah um I'm always glad I did it yeah but um yeah I got to work on being late I actually was really thinking about today I was like Abby do you really think your time is so much more valuable than other people you know it's like I just can't get it together I know we walked in the same we walk in together I was like oh thank goodness thank everyone is there we were by far the the latest yeah I mean we're 10 minutes does it hurt you guys to be late sometimes it depends on the situation every time Blake and I walk out the door and we're gonna be late I'm mad killed mad I'm mad every single time every Sunday no I think the problem is that Matt and I are both it's not even that don't like I I get why people get mad like it does feel disrespectful of time and it's like I really thought I was going to be on time that's my trap is that I thought I could get I don't get mad at other people for being late so then that's the other thing but I get why people do get mad like it is yeah I get it too that's why I was really kind of I know I feel convicted about it too maybe that's right maybe that's our one goal that we do forget all the other ones we talked about a couple episodes ago we just work on time this is my whole life we'll have to get rid of the rest to get hope on that one okay show up when you said you were going to yeah really show up on oh gosh oh no so hard daddy okay well we're gonna segue sorry not a smooth one this are trends that we're not falling for we're not buying into these trends and that doesn't mean they're bad if you like them we love trends I fall into a lot of trends but these ones aren't necessarily my cup of tea these are ones it's like if someone chooses them love that for them perfect own it for you it was made for you it was made for you own it I'm so happy for you yes I'm not gonna I'm not gonna fall in line with that one I won't be joined join the bandwagon and I really mean this I really mean this can't get offended no can't get offended if you're like this is my favorite thing ever and I will die on this hill yes but because there are so many things I love that people hate and I just like it it's good to be different hey we're actually I always said this with my friend when I was like you're weird and I meant to add a compliment and she was secretly getting offended until one day and fifth grade I meant to add a compliment like I was like I love that you're weird but we're weird together and then she was like when you say that I'm weird I remember this and so we always talk about it now like she's still my friend that's fun she's like but like weird in a cool way right and so Morgan for listening oh I love more weird in a cool way maybe we do a follow-up episode to this we do things that we like that are weird oh yeah that was the other one pants out but that was from before maybe you guys like this one look it do more okay you want to kick it off yes I feel passionate about this one red light therapy listen I understand there are some medical reasons that this is a necessity I'm not talking about that I'm talking about this little face mask at the girlies wear for skincare around their house and they look like iron man you are telling me that some rando company put Christmas lights in a face mask and that's gonna reverse your wrinkles I do not think so your cells aren't doing nothing in there that is a that's a scam you've been scammed and you know how I why I feel like that because I got so many emails from sketchy amazon companies asking me if I wanted to promote their red light therapy mask and I was like okay they're all fake these are t-mo purchases that they're selling up working up for a lot of money okay devil's advocate for a second though sure think about the sun and like the rays from the sun that definitely has effects on your skin sure so we know that light can do something to our skin don't you think like right I've never used it but like ultraviolet rays that I think the lady who does my face was explaining it's like the only thing that can go like you can do everything topicly to your skin but it's the only thing that can go like deeper in your skin I think if you get the really expensive medical grade ones it's probably doing something I'm talking about like I'm talking more about the one from amazon oh you know what I mean like what's your minimum price you need to probably spend no one of these I would probably say like 200 bucks oh I think you probably need to spend more probably 600 bucks yeah I yeah if you're spending less than 600 dollars those light bulbs are from lows I'm sorry yeah you could strain those up on your country you could strain those up on your tree next year just put the mask up there tree topper there's one for 89 dollars I know I'm not buying that one 79 that's expensive that's a lot a lot of money to do is buy it like in the hopes that it's going to work for skin care. - I kind of agree, but I'm also like, I don't know enough. - I don't know anything, I'm being honest. I'm never researching. - What were the health effects of red light? - I don't know. They has mental health effects. - Okay, 4,000 people have bought this one in the last month and it is $93. - Okay, see, it's supposed to like rejuvenate yourselves, but that's the thing that I'm always like hesitant with is these beauty trends, these beauty gimmick things. Because we've been sold these for millennia. A different, put this goop on your face. Do this to cream, do this thing to that. And I'm like, you're telling me that this light that you're putting on your face. - That's a valid one, and I can see it. - Turn back the clock. - I never used one. I don't, I feel like that would be a claustrophobic nightmare. - Yes. - For me. - This is promoted as smooth and skin, oil control, skin tightening. - That's cool. - I just kind of find it. - That's a good one. I'm not talking about the health people. Like I know someone who has cancer and she does red light therapy and it's great. - That's how I'm talking about that. - Like a red light room type of thing. - I'm literally talking about. - You're talking about the Iron Man mask. - Yeah, okay, that's valid, okay. That's my trend. Okay, this one I don't even think is like a relevant trend anymore. - Okay. - But LeBoubou's? - LeBoubou's. (laughs) - I didn't buy it in LeBoubou's. - No, I, okay, the first time I learned about LeBoubou's was when Matt and I went to VidCon last year. And all these kids had them on their backpack and I was like, that's cute for kids. They're kind of creepy. But that's fun that they have their thing. But then when I saw adult women with them attached to designer bags. - Of course. - Because when I was like, what are we doing? (laughs) What are we doing here? And I genuinely think that, like give it two years, everyone's gonna look back and be like, what, what was that? What was that about? What was that? Because I have things I can be like, what was that about? But that one, I'm like genuinely like grown adults with fancy expensive bags and little weird stuffed animals attached to them. That is objectively weird. - It's weird. I kind of like it. (laughs) I wouldn't, I didn't purchase any. But I kind of like, are they expensive? How much is the LeBoubou? - No, I think originally they're like $30 from Popmart. But it was the Popmart market that went crazy. - Like limited edition LeBoubou's? - They're all limited edition. I'm pretty sure you don't know which one you're getting, which is also part of the craze. - Oh, I didn't know that part. - Yeah, so when you open, I'm pretty sure. And yeah, they went expensive on the second hand market. That's why they went crazy. Well, Addy, your face is like, this is crazy. What? - The one that's at the top of the, when you look up LeBoubou's and go to the Popmart, sorry, the monsters, $114. - Yes, they're not originally that expensive. They're maybe $30 to $60 originally. - This one is $20, $5. - Yeah. - But it was the second hander. - A sidebar of that is that a trend I also will not be falling for is design or anything. I can respect it in the sense of like it's art to people like these bags are like art to people. It's just, I'm not gonna fall for that, I don't really. I don't wanna buy a bag for that much. I don't think it's, it's not worth it to me. - See, I'm the opposite. I love, I love, I've always, but I've always loved like the history of fashion and the art side of it. - So someday, when it's not like sin for me, just spend that much money on a bag. I will buy myself a special bag. But I will say, I try and get it like it's duped culture. That's not on my list. But in my head, I'm like, I'd rather just not have it at all than have a fake. And that's a hot take. - Yeah, I have a, I like a duped. - Yeah, you like to be like, we would rather have a fake than by spend your money. - No, no, it's not even about the fake. It's like, I like the shoe for what, like for the shoe that it is, it's like, it wasn't ever about the brand. You know what I mean? - Sure. - So it's not because it's replicating a brand, it's because like, the dupes, I have are like ugly dupes. I'm like, I like those warm shoes. - Sure. - So, yeah. - Yeah, I know. - And I never cared about the brand, so then I was like, I don't, yeah. - There's two ends of the aisle. - You know what I do? - I will never buy. - What? A magnetiles duped. - Oh no. Some of the magnets aren't as strong. - No, I will never buy it because on their box, they're packaging every single box. It was like, they have like some type of a disclaimer that's like, please look out for false magnetiles. And I just think about this, in my head, it's like a family small business that started magnetiles and it really took off because it's an amazing product. - It is an amazing product. - And we love magnetiles and I was like, oh my gosh. I don't want to fall for that. And I honestly should probably view uggs that way too. - Yeah. - But, well, uggs are different 'cause there's a whole history there. - Yeah, I know that there's some history behind uggs. So I will, I will never mark my words. I will never buy a magnetiles duped. To make it even more to the heart, it was invented in Japan by a math teacher to teach geometry. - Magnetiles? - Yep. And then it was brought to the US in 1997. And that's when they changed the name to magnetiles. - Magnetiles is a great name. - Incredible creation. - Okay, my next trend, pimple patches in public as fashion. I'm so sorry. - You're right. - That is just nasty. We don't need to normalize pimples. They're already normal. - They're already normal. - We don't need to draw sentences with a star on our face. I don't like it. We can normalize acne, but not, yes, of course. - Yeah, highlighting them. - I think it's okay to like take it off your face and go out looking a little bit more presentable. - Yeah, the people. - This is something I'm very passionate about is the pimple patches in the colors, in the shapes. - Yes. - Just, what? - I didn't think a thing about your pimple until you put that patch on it. And now I'm like, that's nasty. - Yeah, there's something, there's something coming out. - Yeah, there's, that's drying out and there, then that should be done at nighttime while you're sleeping. - That should be done overnight. - I agree, actually, that is weird. - My next one is very controversial. - Uh-oh, cottage cheese. - Oh. - I'm not falling for it, don't fall for it. (laughing) - Quit, quit putting a cottage cheese and everything. (laughing) - They put it literally everything. - Honestly, grotesque, stop blending it. - Stop. - It's not a good texture, I tried it. It's a lie. - Don't put it in your wop. - Heaven forbid you put cottage cheese in any of my desserts. (laughing) - Heaven forbid, I'm literally like, please get that out of here. It doesn't need to be in everything. I mean, also cottage cheese has been around, guys. - Like a long time, and it's also curdled milk. - Sure. - Let's be careful where we're putting that. (laughing) I'm literally like so tired of hearing about cottage cheese. - I love cottage cheese. - Yeah, I don't mind it. I like it, I actually like it a little bit in my eggs. - Yeah, that's fine. - It's easy. - It's good. - It's really good. - It's really creamy. - I did try that because of peer pressure. - Peer pressure. - I was peer pressure too. - I'm not doing it currently. - Never doing it again. - I won't probably go on either. - It's just like, let eggs be eggs. - Eggs are wonderful. - Let everything exist as it should be. - You know what the next food trend is that I'm excited about? Actually, it's cabbage. - I love cabbage. - That's it for the trend. - But it just got cabbage. I don't know, he's on probably food. - It's coming up. He was a people who are catching on. - Oh, cabbage was already a part of that green dip. That was really popular online. - Oh, I don't know. - You would love it, add green. - I love cabbage. I love it. - I'm gonna make it for you. You just have to chop up everything is so small. And it takes forever. But it's a really good little green dip. - Let's try it. - I'm honored that you would do it. - But there's no cottage cheese in it. - Good. - Keep it out. And don't put it in desserts. Don't make any dessert, healthy. - Don't do it. Just make a dessert bad. Okay. Not bad. Controversial. Paying it forward. I sound like the biggest jerk. - You're great. - Okay. I have a reason for this. Keep it valid. I did it right. - Keep it out. Before you call me. - Before you hate me. Okay. Caleb and I went to Culver to get ice cream. It was a tight budget month. And we were like, let's treat ourselves and go get ice cream. We restrained ourselves. We both got smalls. Okay. We're like, we're not going to go with medium wrap because we don't want to spend more money. We get up to the window. Oh my goodness. The card in front of us paid for our order. That was so nice. So generous. But then I look at the lady in the window and go, so what do we do? Do we have to pay for the people behind us order and she goes, if you want, and I just felt like a jerk, how do you, you can't be the one that ends the pay it forward train? Because you are then a bad person. And you know what the people behind us ordered? Mediums. So we should have just ordered what we wanted. And that's why I will be saying, I'm not falling for that. If you want to pay for my meal, that's amazing. I'll take it generously. But I'm just going to accept the gift. Let's be generous. Let's be generous. But I'm not going to feel pressured to be generous. Okay. In the moment. You let that one go. You in the train. I've had this door. You're written down for so long. I wrote it as pay it forward hoopla. I've been used in that word a lot recently. Me too. That's really funny. Yeah, it was a bad. That is some hoopla. That was hoopla. I think it's funny. It's just really ironic that your decision was a financial decision. Yeah. Only four. So I guess, honestly, what you should take from this is you should always get the medium. I know. That's what I'm saying too. Say it. What's five dollars? You know what they mean? Yeah. It's just funny. Okay. This one. I know we agree on this one. Yeah. Oh, Abigail. That's me. Oh, Abby. You can call me Abigail. You're name. I go by that sometimes. Um, AI and Abby brought up this point. Just say it. The AI is for men. It is. And here's the thing. I've used it before. Yeah. Honestly, I had to use it for this podcast. Yeah, there's lots of times. That was. I haven't used it actually a lot of times because I'm so avidly against it. So annoyed by it. And I know that here's the thing. I know that it's inevitable. Yeah, I is going. to continue to grow and become this massive thing and I'm going to end up using it too. But at this point, I just think there needs to be more boundaries with AI. I remember it like, it's really mad. He is always talking to AI and like, that's not a person. We have to have boundaries. Like, you can ask AI a question, it's like, hey, like, come up with a name or come up with like a concept or heck, even like, I don't know, what's a nice way of phrasing this email? That's fine. It's like, give me life advice, give me, like, I don't know, there's like things that are like, these, a human has to be there. Sure. A human has to know you. Yeah. Not a machine. Yeah. And my other gripe about it, if I were to give you a list, it gasses you up so much. Oh, I hate it. I hate it. It's like, what a wonderful idea. What a great question, Caleb. They shot up. Oh, yeah. They're like, Matt. Wonderful idea. I'm like, no, it wasn't, that doesn't mean anything. It's a computer. It's empty. Here's where the issue comes is both of you are talking about how they speak to it. I have used chat gbt for work for different things. I type anything I need. So then I'm not getting the emotional side of things. No, the gasses you never talked to ever. I hate the talking and they, they, they fluff. It rambles. It doesn't get to the point. I'm like, don't give them a compliment. And then get to the point. Just get to the point. I can read Google faster than I can, you get to the point. One time Caleb goes, okay, hey, chat. My wife and I, da, da, da, da, da, and it goes, oh, wow. That's funny. The Abby wants to do that. I said, he never, you never told it. My name. It was, my name. Oh, yeah. Matt. I didn't have a mat. Tells AI about me. And I'm like, it's for men that need a mentor. I honestly think. Okay. This is where I, AI is for men. I was listening to a podcast and these guys were talking about how Gem and I, at the bottom of a video, they'll say Gem and I, summarize this video for me. And I said, that's it. Women will never do that. And they're like, oh, that's going to be all the new thing. People are going to just summarize their videos. I go, no woman is going to summarize their video. I want the story. I want the details. I want to be sat. And I want to hear it. I want to wind down. I want to wind down. I want the information. Don't summarize this. I don't want it. Too much too soon. Too much too soon. That's for men. They want to get to the point and they just want to move on with their day. Yeah. They don't care about the details. All the details. That's right. That's right. Yeah. Oh, and here's the thing. I even hate to be saying this because I know I'm a hypocrite, because I just know that I'm going to succumb to this. But right now I'm just going to, I'm going to do it reluctantly. Sure. A slow adopter. I don't like it when it talks and I don't like it. And I also like it changes people all the time. It's actually a problem. People think that they're like in relationships with AI personalities. Yeah. They do. They're full apps for that. The other day Caleb had chat talking and it literally started, it got drunk in the middle of its sentence. So it's blurring its words. I'm going to shoot you. Your chat has a problem. It's an addict. I literally, when Matt gets on it, I'm like take it in another room. Take her in another room. Yeah. I just got this flashback of like 20 years ago, 10 years ago, and like if someone were to watch you guys talk about this, I'd be like, what the heck? Yeah. I don't know how colleges are adjusting to this. I don't know. I don't know. No, it's going on. But it's out of control. Out of control. Out of control. Too much too soon. Okay. Here's my next one. Fake freckles. I think they look cute. Honestly, it's just another step and I'm not doing it in my makeup routine. I've always been jealous of freckles. You have the cutest freckles. I think I would look cute with freckles. I'm not painting them on my face. I agree. I will not be doing that. You have them where you don't. Yeah, exactly. You're blessed. Oh, you're a mess. I'm just kidding. I feel like your face probably looks the best the way it is. Yes. I don't think it's going to look better with freckles. It might look a little different. It's just such an extra step. Like, don't worry about it. I have enough things to do. Also, it could go wrong really quickly. So fast. So fast. Yes. That's my whole point with that one. I agree. One-- man, I did two heavy ones back to back. And I have a lot of passionate feelings with one. This one, man, hating. Talked about it on unplanned before. And people did not like it. Why? They said you should hate men more. Oh, it's a trend, Abby. Oh, amazing. It is a trend. It is a major trend. But I'm still standing on this. Hating men is-- OK. Hating discriminating against an entire gender, because you had a bad experience with one, is still discrimination, even if it's men. Even if you view them as privileged and some type of way, which they are. But that is still discrimination. It's still not OK. And also, I'm raising two boys. I would like to think that one day when they grow into men, that they can be in a world where women are not going to be constantly looking to degrade them, to belittle them, to look for them, to make any mistake, and then be like, yeah, because you're a man. You know? Absolutely. It's not serving us. It's not doing the purpose that we want. Right. We should actually maybe encourage men. And the way that we want them to encourage us. Yes. And maybe they'll step up the plate, gosh dang it. Dang it. I imagine you speak positively to someone, and they turn it around. Me personally, when people are giving me praise, I'm like, I want to do more of that. Literally. When people are knocking me down constantly, and I think this is running rampant online. Specifically. And so that's why I say this on this platform is because it has become so cool. I hate all men, or all men, or terrible. Just make these crazy comments. And I'm like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. If someone were to say that about women, we would be pissed off. Literally. And this is just so crazy. And it's just been a trend among any type of couples, or family creators. It's like, let's villainize and demonize the man. Let's call them gay. That's a big trend, too. Let's just do everything to demasculinate them, and also just belittled them, make them feel so small. And we're also hitting the wrong target so many times. I'm like, they're awesome person. They're amazing. And we're going after the wrong people. Everyone, this is just not women. It's not going to help us. It will only hurt us. Yes, trust me. Terrying other people down to build yourself up has never been effective. Never would. You could love women without hating men. Yes. And also, it's just a pride, like prideful and a bad way. I'm like, it's not, it's not like a cute pride. It's just, it's like women are amazing. We are awesome. But like, that can be the period. That can be the end of it. Both things can be true. Women are awesome, men are awesome. Yeah. And I do understand that the conversation, the main hating start after the Me Too movement, much needed movement, very important movement. But it's just gone too far. It wasn't all men. It was never all men. Right. And it's just gone too far. It's gone way too far. We all need to bring it back in a little bit. Bring it in and calm it down, everybody. And I'm sorry if you've had a bad experience with a man. Yeah, that man sucks. That man is sucks. We hate those men. We don't like that man. We're making these broad statements. It's just, it's, right. It's outrageous. It's unfair. Yes. I love my man. He's awesome. So I'm like, everyone calm down. What's this song? That's my man. Thank you for my man. That's my man. Yeah, that one. I think that in the head a lot. OK, that's good, Abby. Thank you. Thank you for saying that. Yeah, I'm like, I honestly think about my little boys. And I'm like, you're awesome. I know, I love them. And you want to just be like, hey, your man. I will fight them. No. I know. It's going to make me not like girls. Right. Yeah, I love girls. I love girls. I'm a girl's girl and my aunt's girl. No, I'm a girl's girl. I don't even know what I was trying to say. OK, my last one, this one is a high-tech. This one's controversial. I'm sorry. I don't like it. I'm sorry, as a whole or as your primary form of exercise. I've done it multiple times and I was bored every time. I think I've invited you every time. Yeah, I've done it a bunch of times and every time I'm like, ooh, you see all those videos of the line of girls where they're like, my football boyfriend coming to Pilates and he's like, shit. You know, shit. It's so hard. I've never experienced that. Really? Yes. I mean, maybe for like an eight count, I've been trembling in Pilates. Sure. You tremble a bit. I don't know. I just, I was bored. Every time. Yeah. I've done it multiple times. Like, yeah. Many different, many different gyms and it's just never been my thing. So I just like to work out differently. No. It's so expensive. It doesn't get your heart rate up. No, I think I like that. I like getting my heart rate up. Same. $25 for you dollars for a drop-in class of some of these places. I'm just telling you, if you have, if you want to try it and you're like feeling left out, it's okay. That's good, actually. I mean, it's that not my preferred workout. It does. I think the reason the trembling comes around is because you're working muscle groups that are small. Are small. Yes. Yeah. And it's like, you're like, they've never done this before. Yeah. Totally. They've never had this responsibility. Yes. But yeah. I'm sorry. People are going to hate me for that. I don't know about that. But they will. People love. People love their gym. People said that about burn. And I'd be like, aw, that's about it. And I know people don't like burn. So it's okay, actually. It's okay that I don't like Pilates. It's okay that you don't like Pilates. It's okay. It's okay. Everything's perfectly fine. I prefer other workouts as well. Yes. That's awesome. See? Everyone, see how that just went? Abby said something. And we all said it's okay. It's okay, Abby. It's okay. Okay. Okay. I got one. This one actually is still a trend. And I'm surprised that it is. Okay, laminated eyebrows or as - I like to call them electrocution eyebrows. (laughs) I was Googling that, right, I gave eyebrows, lay them when they did the other day. Oh no, no, no, go off. - No, no, no. I think you can get your eyebrows professionally laminated and like tinted and like lifted. I'm talking about going literally straight vertical. - Yeah, those are, yeah, and it'll crazy. - Fluffing them directly up, especially if they're long and greasing them all the way up. No eyebrows grow like that. - Sure. - I think the whole point of makeup is to accentuate the natural beauty of your face and your features. And so when they go straight up, select, straight up. It's not looking like an eyebrow anymore to me. My eyebrows have looked like this through all the eyebrow trends. And that's because that's what they look like. - Sure, sure. - So I'm like, it's not for me. - Yes, eyebrow, eyebrow blindness is a real thing. - That's bad. - eyebrow blindness has been around since 2015. - Well, remember, wait, I also want you to have a moment for all the trends of eyebrows. - Right. - Super skinny, like the early 2000s, like pins are overplucked. - Yeah. - Then we swayed so hard to the block eyebrows, squares, completely filled in. Now we've gone to a more natural shade of eyebrow, but select the heavens. - Select the heavens. I actually look back sometimes and I have a shellac to the heavens eyebrow. Sometimes I have a little bit of eyebrow blindness. - You can call me a clean girl aesthetic. No, I've never noticed you having it. I'm talking about extreme cases 'cause I do also, I brush mine up. - Yeah. - That's great. And it's just for me, I'm like, when they go all the way up and they're really long, it's kind of like-- - Yeah, it's fluffy eyebrows. It's like the big-- - But see, I don't think that's what they call them, but they don't look fluffy to me. - No, I know. It's the extreme-- - Exaggerated talking about. - Greased straight up. - Yes, yes, yes. - That is crazy. - It is crazy. I, one time I did do that and my older sister-- - You look angry. - Yeah, me and my sister are living this. What is wrong with your eyebrows? - I think you go up and then just a little bit inside. - To this side. - 'Cause it's just, you kind of always look surprised. (laughs) Maybe that's why I like it. I'm like, ooh, a little face lift. - I do think it's part of the clean girl's side that I never quite like, it doesn't suit me. So it's probably just a trend that, it's a part of a large, a broader trend that doesn't suit me. - Sure. - And yeah, maybe I'm just also too hairy, I don't know. - I'm pretty hairy too. - I like the brows, but I get what you're saying with the extreme. - Maybe if they're too, maybe it's the problem is when they're too long to do in that. - It's the length. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Ooh, I'm glad we got those off-roaches. - I'm glad we got those off-roaches. (laughs) - Ask, ask, ask, Abis. - Hi, my name's Ashley, and I just had a question. You both seem to have a large friend group and to host a lot of gatherings. And I was just wondering what your best hosting tips would be. Love watching you guys and listening along. Bye. - Take it away, Abby. - Oh. - I'm no expert. I mean, my advice is like, don't worry about perfection like in your house. Like my house will be messy, straight up messy, and we're still having people over. And I think that is maybe just to do the season of life that we're into, where it was like, I don't have time to clean my house all day because we're gonna have company. But also it's just like, it's more about the company that you're gonna have over. And like your true friends are not gonna think a thing about you having toys out or dishes in your sink. Yeah, I think that's the main thing that I think of. I think people think that their house has to be perfect and that their event has to be perfectly planned and all these things. And it's really not about that. You can just say, hey, come, like I'll have a few snacks. You can bring snacks too. And it's just about the community and the company and not about how like your house looks. I think that, yeah, especially as women, we kind of feel like things have to be perfectly. And that's not the point of it and your real friends are not gonna care. I don't know, totally. Yeah, I think that's good. I don't know about anything to add. I think that's a great thanks. - Hey guys, love listening to the podcast. I was just calling to ask for advice about what to do or how to get through a season with your partner where you feel like you're becoming distant or disconnected. I know that it's like an inflow within relationships but sometimes some seasons are harder than others. And how did you guys navigate through that during your relationships? - Thanks. - Oh man, yeah, that happens a lot. I mean, not a lot, but that's happened here and there throughout the seasons of our marriage for sure. And I feel like we recently had a season like this especially just being postpartum and pregnant. I told Caleb, I looked at him and I said, I just feel a little bit more like your roommate and your friend than I do your wife. And sometimes just voicing it out loud to your spouse opens up the conversation of like, oh, I didn't even realize, what do you need from me to feel more connected? Or what can I do to help us feel more connected? And I think it goes both ways. Like asking, I would ask Caleb like, what can I do to help? And then he would also ask me like, what can I do to be a better husband? And then we schedule a date night. And I think that's really important because sometimes you just need quality, like I'm a big quality timer when I'm lacking on quality time is when I start to really feel distant. So yeah, whatever it is with your love language or your spouse's love language, just ask and then really try to go above and beyond for a little bit of a time, not just like one time but like for a couple weeks until you kind of feel like you've reconnected. - That's really good advice. And I like how you've been said, like relationships have in flow. I think we need to do more normalizing of this and like a normal relationship like can't have parts where you're like, it's not necessarily all passion right now, especially in seasons, like you said, when seasons are more difficult. Postpartum, like any hard thing in life that can happen is going to naturally affect how you are showing up in your relationship and in your marriage. And that has to be normal and it can't go to like panic time. And like, oh, this isn't like the movies, this isn't passionate, this isn't like a rom-com, so this is bad or this is wrong. But it is good to acknowledge that and like to do a check-in and then yeah, having honest conversation. I think the advice to go above and beyond for like a couple weeks is great advice. Just kind of shock everyone out of it. - Yeah. - We like, we love each other, we like are having fun. - Yes. - And so yeah, I think that's really good advice. And also just expressing that 'cause I feel like if you would honestly say this, I think John Loney says this where he's like, it's one thing to say like I need this from you and it's something even more intimate in a way to say like I want this from you. And I think that maybe your partner can hear this, that better too. It's like, I want you, I'm craving like intimacy with you. And I feel like that honesty and transparency will almost always be well received hopefully. - Mm-hmm. - Hi Abby and Abby. My name is Brin and I'm a regular listener, regular listener to your podcast, both unplanned and your new one. I wanted to know what is both of your favorites a way to unwind after a long day. Thanks so much. I love you listening to your podcast. I guys, let's see. - Great, that's sweet. Thanks for listening. - Yeah, thank you so much. - I like a big old bowl of ice cream. Smothered in chocolate gel. - Oh. - Yeah. (laughing) - Ice cream. I, yeah, that really helps me feel just happy. And I, that's awesome. - Yeah. - I have a new habit now of having put the kids to bed. I'm like, I just need, like I honestly would say ideally at least 20 minutes to just put on headphones and I listen to live very music on YouTube and read my book and have a hot tea. And I literally, I'm just like, I'm amazed by how like, I feel after all that. And Matt, like, now he makes my tea. He knows it's like an expectation. I have my little corner of the couch. My Kindle, my blanket. And I'm like, thank you. And like, we don't talk for like 20 minutes. And it's amazing what like, that does for my brain to like, wind down. And also I'm just like, it's so relaxing. It's like so, it's my favorite thing ever. And then Matt, like, came and sat down. He's like, oh, are you not done yet? I'm like, no, you can come sit next to him. Like, I'm like, this is, I like, did it one night. And I was like, this is gonna be a frequent thing. I like, love this. But everyone has their own things. I feel like, I would caution against like scrolling because it feels like, it's easy to do and it feels good, but you're not actually probably winding down, you're probably winding yourself up. - No, I'm thinking that I probably don't have anything that I do to wind down. Probably need to implement something. It is very relaxing for me when I cook to watch a show. And I put my headphones in. I have a show going when I cook. But I haven't been able to do that as much in this season. So I'll get back to that. But that was how I would before wind down. - Wow, guys, every time I hear your voice notes, I just want everyone to know how grateful I am that you guys are listening and like, participating in this way. It's really, really cool. And I'm just, I just feel so much gratitude for our audience listening and for everyone here. That they're always here. I'm like, oh my gosh, we asked about a colon and they actually did it. - That's amazing. - It's so sweet. - Thank you guys for supporting. If you guys want to call in, the phone number is 602-456-9690. And it could be a question about anything. - Yeah, yourself. - You like your dirty? - Yeah. - You guys, awesome. I love every question that's coming. - Me too, it's been great. - Thank you so much, you guys, for listening to another episode. And remember, we're always here. (laughing) (upbeat music)