Mojo Brookzz!

Holy moly New York City and the surrounding areas are you garbage and friends is back We're gonna be down there at the Comedy Seller May 18th and June 15th You got two changes to see us. So come on out. Yeah tickets available at are you garbage dot com We got some of our favorite guests coming to play AYG with the crowd. It's a small venue So get your tickets before this out. We'll see you there. Hey Everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is our you garbage Yeah, it's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good to be classy Yeah, but they're just a big old piece of trash Trash, I'm a host they truly coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Toddy's in a new addition She's on a way to the grocery store. Okay, so if you didn't get your order in your screw All right, I'm not sharing my double stuffed Oreos with yeah, there and up my coach is coming out you from right next to me He is the CEO of our you garbage. He's an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world Give it up for KJ cabin James Ryan. What up gang shout out to you as always Make sure you rate you subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube full video available over there on Spotify and the boys are climbing the fucking charts, baby We are obviously the greatest website of all time WWW that patreon.com slash our garbage go over to get all that bonus content Baby, we couldn't be more excited ever incredibly and I mean incredibly special guest for the first time He is a very funny very successful stand-up comedian and actor and you might have seen him in you got a naughty Christmas story He got real lovin. He got Tyler Perry's Miss governor. He's got 2.2 million Instagram followers. He's killing on YouTube He's just about everywhere. Ladies and gentlemen. Give it up for the one the only Mojo Brooks. Come on Let's go. How about that? How about that? Welcome to our you garbage brother. I'm glad to be here, man It sound like he was going to bring up a popular stripper You know are you lover? I thought I was gonna have to go God is saying I have to put your business out there first guest. We've ever had came in the town got a rental car rental car broke down It's a fact. That's a fact. That's wild. What was it? What car was it? So we had a I think it was What kind of it was it was a Chevy Tahoe. Okay. Respect. We do the same same move Okay, you got to you got the fellows with you. We travel with it with a big squad as well Yeah, and they so so what happened was My tour manager he normally gets here the day before a little bit early That's a good tour manager our guy our guy travels with us and complaints the whole fuck and then you got to wait for him to get the car I don't want to wait. I just want to be able to get off the plane and go wow So yeah, yeah, so we got to set up so we could just get off the plane I can go so I got off the plane and I get a text from like yo I'm not coming to get you because the card is not starting Checked into the hotel Okay, yeah, yeah, so when I get there already how to key I can go straight to my room. That's big Yeah, yeah, yeah, wait in there and they got ID got it. They go to Wi-Fi's there's the breakfast Shut up, give me the kid wait hold on you already you've already been to the hotel. No, he he had already been to the hotel Got you check the scene. I got there. He could just hand me the key. I like this. I like it's a nice like process I understand they don't like given the key They don't they don't can we pre-check so when we're there we can just yeah, they don't like it Yeah, I don't know what they think you're gonna do It's crazy, but it's crazy. I don't know, but yeah, so he called me said the car broke down So then I had to take a uber and I had to go eight miles. I had to go eight miles takes an hour eight miles Eight miles took 56 minutes. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's crazy He says there's like the traffic here. They got it cuz it's like they got all these buildings, but not enough roles to get to It's crazy. I'll get out and just I'll just get out and walk and go. That's it. You might as well Yeah, it's brutal. You might as well. I saw a pigeon moving fast We're glad you got here safe. Yeah, man, appreciate it. No worries at all. Let's go back to the beginning Give us the origin story of Mojo Brooks. We know your Chicago guy Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah big sat-town guy born and raised on the west side of Chicago Okay, I'm a park area nice, um, you know brother sisters grew up. I grew up with my two of managers actually my brother It's actually my brother. Yeah, so what it who is who's in the squad because there's okay, so forward Is it now we three D. And I normally don't come three D. I don't know I respect yeah, I love it. I love we roll 60 Yeah, everybody goes everywhere. Yeah, yeah, so I got so my brothers my to a manager then T.J. is my security That's the big guy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, and we've been together for 15 years. Okay, so before I even needed security He was you know, he was he was there T.J. T.J. offered his services to you really, you know what honestly, I was doing I was a party promoter So we used to have him and his brother come and do security at the party So once I moved into you know the entertainment space, so you know being a performer. I'm like, yo You know you my security and he didn't take a series at first He used to show up with flip-flops on Like what if something happened you got on flip-flops. You got a plate. Yeah, you you must know nobody's gonna do nothing to me So you know in the flip-flops, I get a rackey reporter So now he went from that to now he'll put up here all black Air Force ones Yeah, he gonna keep me say look professional when he came in. Yeah, and then my cousin Devin Um, you know, I'm saying we He lives in Virginia. Okay, so you know anytime I'm gonna East Coast. He come out Close circle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we tight So go ahead. Would your mom do what your dad do to stole stories. So my mom My mom's for a long time work for McDonald's corporation. Okay, safety department. Yeah, shit. Yeah, so we got we ate McDonald's for you Wait, hold on isn't McDonald's University at in Chicago. Yes, that's she used to work at the campus Yeah, she took us to the hamburger University where they go in and they We say in all this stuff all of it like I mean we used to my mom used to get to make chicken patties and bring them home We've had me to have the patties the 10 Really, man. Oh, yeah, I'm make I'm McDonald's out like I need to like I huge We didn't hear so much McDonald's over the years It's like it's crazy like you got the patties like you would get like the the chicken patties of the grocery store You got them like yeah, they get in the plastic and the clear plastic bags She's dropping it. I mean, and they actually takes it better at home. Yeah, cuz you can probably do your own stuff And then we didn't have all those fancy buns. We had regular wonder breath That's awesome, you know what I'm saying? My type of guy Talking about McDonald's on the jump big man's in making it at home. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you don't got no movie stars. Yeah So my dad's really like So my dad my dad was my dad was a hustler nice and then you know, he knew he had to kind of Provide a life where he would be around my family. So he ended up, you know starting his own business as a general contractor No kid. Yeah, and he went on to be very successful at that and that's great, you know took care of family and I think I'm the first entertainer in our family So everything is a little different to them. Yeah, we have some we have a similar similar vibe to it Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh you doing yeah until we start seeing some of the checks and then go on Yeah, you know I bought my dad a car and I don't care what I ever said You keep going you keep going all that real job shit. I said, yeah, we're good fuck it. Don't worry about that once you get for him I bought him a 20 25 BMW XC. Let's go Yeah, we're getting rid of his that was a BMW's he wanted to 745 L But they don't make the 745 anymore. So he don't make it anymore. No, why not? I don't know damn, but they don't make it that was it when we was kids. That was a car. You want it He's always say man. I want to be mw. I want to be md. I'm gonna tell you a quick story about that Please so we used to go and test drive to be mw with no intent on buying I have fact picked up on it You talking to the salesman you're built for the show, well, you you have no intention on bound one So we would we were going to test drive him and you know here be asking all these questions like Like Pops, we've been here 20 times enough by his car. So we I remember we were driving home one day And he's like I'm gonna get that car one day I'm gonna get it one day and I took it upon myself and I was like Pops I'm about you to car. Mm-hmm. He was like all right. Remember you gotta keep your word. So the first opportunity I thought I had the bond with BMW. I was a sophomore in high school. What the hell you doing in a sophomore in high school? The word is 745 can I tell y'all what app? Of course you can let me get there So y'all remember to show fear factor. Yeah, okay, so fear factor was coming to the high schools in Chicago Okay, and they were doing like a special tape and other students for a chance to win $75,000 okay They came to my class they gave us the you know the consent form. I could wear home I said Pops I slammed the paper on the desk. I said I'm going on fear factor. I'm gonna win the money We gonna get the BMW So I went to school the next day I was turning to my consent form and they had the rep from from fear factor coming names like listen the first challenge In order to be on the show not I turn this in and I'm already on it You gotta do some shit to get on it. It's like the first challenge. Y'all do is lay in a bathtub full of rats So I went back home and I tell my dad. I don't think you're gonna get the car right now I think you gotta wait a couple of years. So then once I finally you know got into a space where you know, I'm doing I'm doing your I Wouldn't get it. I love the confidence Yeah, he had that car to the iguanas came out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I thought I thought I was gonna have to go eat a couple answers some I didn't did that I'm accident in a couple times anyways. Berets, that's why I draw the line. - Damn, rats and snakes. - Yeah, I can't do the rats at all. I don't even like to watch a snake eat a rat. That's that bad. I can't do it, that's scary. - I can't do it. - Oh, shit. - Okay, where you good student? - Was I good student? When you say good student, did I get good grades? - I don't know, but that's a good answer. - Or did I get in trouble when I was in class? - A little bit of both. - I wasn't a misbehaved child, but I was very lazy in school. So, my mom said, you got the potential to get straight A's. - You just got by though. - I just got by. - Did you take the SATs of the SATs? - Yeah, I took that SAT, it was at the go to high school. - You're going to high college. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You remember when you got some bullshit like a 36, so. - Oh, the ACT, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, the ACT, it was like that. - What do I say? - The ACT? They got two though. - The ACT, the East Coast takes the SATs and I guess the Midwest does the ACT. - Yeah, all of them is some bullshit anyway. - Did you apply to college? Did you go to college? - I did, so I ended up going to the school called Westwood College. You know the college is the got the commercials. - Yeah, yeah. - You want to be a criminal justice? We are hands on. - I don't know. - We want to teach you how to do fingerprints, investigate crimes. And I feel for it and I went there. - You want it to be a criminal? I got a degree in criminal justice from Westwood College, but the credits, the school ended up going out of business. So they ended up, they were still trying to get to financial aid loans and I'm like, but the school don't exist. So who on my paying? - Who's getting the money? So, anyways, I ended up, I ended up going, I finished, but thank God, they cleared up my student loans. I don't owe, I don't owe anybody. - That's good. - So what did you want to do with that? You wanted to get in the law enforcement, you wanted to be a private investigator. - I wanted to be. - Oh shit. - Pick it up. - Yeah. - It's me too. - We don't need, we'll cut it off today. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll cut it off today. - Take your time. - Somebody, take your time. - We'll pause it. - Yeah, pause it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Damn, you got the (beep) calling you on fucking vacation. - Very fucking cool. - Whoo! - Yeah, I'm in business right now. - Very cool. - How's it cool to take this thing to the next level? - I love it. - Oh, it's fucking. - All right, where was it? Where was it? (laughing) - I'm in spay, I'm in Madrid right now. - For the listeners out there, Mojo just got an incredibly important phone call. From one of the biggest guys in Hollywood. - That's crazy. - The second first here on the show. From a broken-down rena-car to that. - To that. - That was crazy. - That was wild. - You know what, I appreciate you guys allowing me to tell you that. - Of course. - What are you gonna say now? - That was the most famous I've ever been to. (laughing) That was awesome. - I'm gonna call my mom when I get done with it. - That was fucking awesome. - That was wild, dude. - Okay. - Very cool. - So criminal justice school, huh? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Want to be a cop? Want to be a cop? Want to be a lawyer? I want to be a judge, man. - Really? - But see, remember? - Judging Chicago? - Judging, that'd be pretty good. - You know what, now I want to write a show like that, where, but I want to be the judge. I want to do like a show where, like, I'm the lawyer for all the baby daddies in the world. - It's okay. (laughing) - And you got to come to this court first before we determine if you go to the big court to put your baby daddy on child support. But I want to represent the good fathers that get put on child support. And they shouldn't be on there. - Gotcha. - You know what I'm saying? - I want to be the judge. I don't want to be the judge. - Yeah, I trust like everybody always is the judge. - That makes sense. - But I did want to be like, like, seriously, I was really like, wanted to be an FBI agent. I want to do all that shit, man. But, you know, as, you know, like, you was talking about my crew. I got in trouble when I was 17 years old. - Okay. - For what? (laughing) - You're on her? - Well, what happened to me? - No, I haven't with me. - Honestly, it was real, it wasn't as bad as how it looked. (laughing) You know what I'm saying? You don't realize how serious shit is to get serious. - Of course. - So after that, it was kind of like, you know, I got my criminal justice degree. And I almost was a Chicago police officer, but I started going viral right before they called me to come back into the game. - Really? - Gotcha. - And I was like, I'd rather tell jokes than get shot at. - I'm with you. - Sure. - Makes sense. - What was your first job? What was your first job you ever had? - My first job I ever had, I was a cashier at Wendy's. - Nice, what was your mom thinkin' about that? - You got excited, look at that. - What was your mom thinkin' about that? - You know what? - It's like going against a family. - It was Wendy's. It was Wendy's, but I was there maybe about a year, year and a half, and then, but everybody's in my family. My mother has got them a job at McDonald's. - Gotcha. - Everybody. - So you worked there? - I'd have where I worked at McDonald's, a few different McDonald's. - How'd you like that? - A little patient of the restaurant, not McDonald's. - I worked at different locations though. - It wasn't a professor at the university. - No, no. - He's a professor, you could even. - When I was a driver. - I was a drive-through captain though. - What's a drive-through captain? - So shit I made up, I was the best at workin' a drive-through. I used to hype 'em up, they used to come up, they used to have, they started to strawberry lima, the scrolls on strawberry lima, they used to do, this how I got the drive-through captain position because how excited I used to be to sell it. So they had come through the drive-through, and I was like, who welcome to McDonald's? Would you like to try our new strawberry lemonade? - Pretty good. - And Abby, ah, what are you gonna get one with now, one one now? - And right then and there, I sold the most strawberry limonaise in history. Look at this shit up, man. - Look it up, look it up. - Look it up. - Like that's a printed staff. - Google it, man. Chat GVT, I was the strawberry limonaise seller. - Do you get a piece of that, do you get any commissions on that? - From McDonald's? - Yeah. - They gave me some coupons, bro. I used to have like, oh man, that's what I missed. My mom used to have like, free, free big Mac meals, free value meal. Like we used to have these cars in our wallet. Like, look at you, you wish you had one, just good. - And I just had you got lost in his eyes. - You did, it paused, paused, paused. - Like I am on it. - But we definitely used to, man, we had a time when she had free dessert, free apple pies. I mean, when I tell you she was locked in at McDonald's, I mean, even to this day though, she still got friends that still work for the company or whatever, but I love it. - One of the questions I would love to ask, 'cause it happened to me many a handful of times that I McDonald's drive through. Would anybody not have the money to cover the paint, like would their card get declined? - Yeah. - And what would you do, you just gotta go, I mean, 'cause that's happened to me a handful of times where I'd order, they didn't get to pay. And they'd be like, the card didn't go through, I didn't have enough cash. - Let me tell you something. How serious I was about being a driver of the company. - The captain, the captain. - How serious I was, the guy came through one day, swiped his car, I handed it back to him, and he drove off, but it got declined. He went to the next window. They was handing him the food. Before he can get the food in his hand, I had ran to the next window and took the food back. - Damn. - That said, your card declined. (laughing) - Do you have another card tonight? And he had another card, and I took the food and went back, and I swiped that card. - Go through? - No. (laughing) Get the hell out of my line. - I said, take that shit to Burger King. (laughing) - This is McDonald, sir. - Take that broke shit to Burger King. - Kip, you know Fab Lettics. - Ooh, do I know Fab Lettics? - You look pretty much of an active lifestyle. - I'm moving, shaking dogs. - I'm trying to live more of an active lifestyle. We know a lot of the homies and the Bosos out there. They live active lifestyles. - Yep. - The spring is here, you're moving on a bit more. 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Remember that, whether it's something big, something small. You know, Kippy and I, me, especially these days? Yeah, mental health journey. Bumpie. Bumpie. And you gotta lean on people, you gotta lean, you know, and also there's a thing, you know, a lot of people we lean on, our loved ones around us, then they become your therapist. It's like, not go to a-- I don't know shit, go to a professional. - Yes, all right, get yourself straightened out, listen. - Yes, life is a journey, some days feel good, others feel overwhelming, whatever's keeping you up at night and trust me, there's a lot of it. It's easy to feel like, it's easy to feel like you don't have to figure it out on your own, but the truth is no one has all the answers and no one should be doing this journey alone. You having someone with you to listen, understand, and help support you can make all the difference. Guys, big proponent always said of talk therapy, it's fantastic, I've used better help in the past through my different parts of my mental health journey, sometimes I need it, sometimes I don't, it is a fantastic service. You don't have to be on this journey alone, find support to support you in therapy, sign up at 10%[email protected]/carbage, that's betterhelphelp.com/carbage. - Do it. - What do you think about some Burger King? - What do you mean? - What do you think? - What do you think about it right now? - Yeah, right, oh, see? - I like where your head's at. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - What do I think about it right now? - Right now. - Man, we are on the same page. - You see what I'm saying? - Yeah, I know exactly what you're saying. - I know exactly what you're saying. - You know, I don't know if it's the same. - No, it's not. - It's used to be, but you know what? I can honestly say that about a lot of food now. - Sure, none of this shit is the same. I don't know what the fuck big deal is. - I gotta be honest with you though, it might just be the one by me, for I live. - The Mickey D's, they're still banging it. - They're really? - Yeah. - What do you like from McDonald's? - I don't. - Everything. (laughing) - Bro, he like, "Damn he, we got you shit. "I like him and you know what?" He go there and make his own shit. - Listen, I mean a big, big, big and tasty. - Yeah. (laughing) - Yeah, the McDLT, I used to like back in the day. - Did you ever try the Mighty Wings? - No, I never know. - Oh my God. - Get out of here. - Bro, they used to have chicken wings. They used to be called the Mighty Wings. Bro, let me tell you, when I worked at McDonald's, I used to put them bitches in my pocket. - I remember that. - And go to the Mighty Wings. - They might have only been doing that in Chicago. It could have been a test market. - No, it was other places that really, man. Look it up, Mighty Wings. - It says comes up, Mighty Wings. - And they had a little bit of spice to them. - I couldn't do that. I would have trouble with boning chicken at a fast food place. - Bro, no. - But KFC, I can't, I don't fuck with that either. - You don't fuck with KFC? - Nah, I fuck with KFC heavy, but I don't get the chicken with the bonin anymore. - Why? - I don't know. I get the little snack, the little snackers. - You rather get the bonin's chicken? - Yeah, that's the shit you can't trust. - Yeah, I don't know why it is about the bonin' the chicken. It freaks me out. I don't know why. - The bonin' the chicken. - Yes. - So you rather just eat bonin' the meat? - Yeah. - Same thing with Popeyes. (laughing) Popeyes, I get the chicken sandwich. - Okay. - And I'm big on the mashed potatoes. - Nah, that's a bad ass sandwich though at Popeyes. It's spicy one, and they would sleep on it. I think I was the first one to know about it. - That was, this guy's been at the front man's food. - That blew up very quick. - I sort of got, before it blew up like that, I had tried that chicken sandwich a month before. (laughing) - And I was calling people like, yo, they're fucking chicken sandwich. Because my favorite spicy chicken sandwich used to be at Wendy's. - Yeah, it was all believed in him. - It ain't the same no more. - Nah. - It ain't even no meatin' it, it's just gross. - Now tell you what, Wendy's spicy wings are spicy-- - Nuggets. - Yeah, that's it. - They hit. - 10 out of 10. - 10 out of 10. - Okay. - And he's guy, and that's not-- - Yeah, no, I can still, I ate so much of it, I could probably still do it for lay fish. - No cheese, though, no cheese. - Really? - Yeah, no cheese. - I like it with the tartar and I throw a pickle on there too. - Easy tart, though. - Take a crease. - Because sometimes they just slap it on there. - It's coming up to the side. I can't-- - Why? - It's all down your hand, I can't-- - It's all down your hand. - Why? - I can't have it, like, pauses. - As long as I've ever played pauses, dude. - We need to count the pauses on this episode. - I'm speaking to food that we're in in a little bit. What's the palette like now that your experience in some of the finer things? Are you going out to nicer restaurants? - Yes. - Yeah. - But I've been doing that, though. - Really? - Yeah, when I was eating McDonald's, I was definitely broke. - Yeah. - Like, you're in New York for a couple of days. - Yeah. - Do you have anything lined up, or I don't think you want to do? - I was going to ask you guys to send me a couple restaurants that you know that you got, but he's going to take me to the Mickey D's by his house. - Under the fucking, under the elbow. (laughing) - He's showing me how good I'm about his house. - The apple pie's your better here, right? (laughing) But while I'm in New York, though, I have like, you know, I've been here a few times. I haven't really, you know, getting an opportunity to really, like, really explore the city. You know, of course, I've been a time square last year, I performed at Town Hall. - We did Town Hall very great venue. - We did one. - We did one. - No need to rub it in. - Oh, I'm sorry. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - I think you're still going very well over here. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but one is better than I. - Y'all did two shows one night. (laughing) - Somebody who just gets the show right away. - Anybody else would have been like, "Yeah, you're just doubling down on it a lot bit." - But no, I want to, you know, I want to go see, I want to go see that woman in the water. - What woman in the water? - In the water. - What are you talking about? You know the one in the water. - Oh, it's natural liberty. - I want to go see that, man. - I thought it was a play or something. (laughing) - Is she going to hurt me? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Y'all thought I'd look about that lady out here. (laughing) - You want to go see the statue of liberty? - I think that one. - I want to see it. - It's easy, hop on the boat, it'll zoom right by. It's good. - Zoom right by? - Yeah. - They don't take you to it. - You can go, yeah. - Yeah. - If you want to do it for free, you take the Staten Island ferry, which is free, from down there to Staten Island and back, you go right by it. - Yeah. - But if you want to go over there and do a torner like you can. - 'Cause they walk you up, right? - I don't know what the deal is now. - I don't know how you can go. - They'll get no elevator anymore. - I don't know. - And it might be, it's a little hit and miss these days with the construction or whatever they have going on in there. - They person it up? - I'm always doing something in that bitch. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, thumbs. You know, they always meet some maidens. - Always. - Always meet them. - Now, going up is only going to cost you 25 to 27 bucks. - See what I'm saying? - Got that. - There you go. - You got, is it an elevator or is it stairs? - I don't think there's an elevator right there. - It's got to be an elevator. It was like built in like the 1700s. - Damn. - It was the 1700s. - It wasn't built to the 1700s though, because they brought her, 'cause she was with another man. And they brought her here. - 'Cause I'm a French dude, I heard. - Yeah. - She was with him and she left him. - There is an elevator to the pedestal. - Yeah, yeah. - Okay, I could do that. - I ain't taking those stairs. - Yeah, I couldn't. - All right, well maybe I could go do that tomorrow. - There you go, that's a good time. - Yeah. - All right. - What was your first concert? - Good. - My first concert, so it's a concert. It's an annual concert. They're doing Chicago every year called The Big Jam. And it was, oh, this is a good story. - I like this. - So the lineup had little bow out, Beyonce with the headliner. - What year is this? - This is 2004. - Whoa. - Put on by the radio station. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I like this. - And y'all will not believe. So this is what my mom got the tickets to make down the corporation. - Here we come. - McDonald's head, they own Sky Box in the United Center. So we used to go to the Black House, the Bulls game. - Uh-huh. - And concerts in here. - It's pretty good. - I like the Sky Box. You will not believe we sitting in this Sky Box. You will not believe who's in the Sky Box right next to us. - Jay-Z. - R Kelly. - Whoa. - R Kelly. - That was a point in the show. It got real dark. Right. And then you just started hearing him singing. Yeah. And I just heard all the ladies, like, hold on. What am I doing? What am I doing? So. - So. - Oh. - So. - Wait. (laughing) - He was-- - Took me a second. - Yeah, yeah. - He was right next to us and he was singing from the Sky Box. - Oh, singing from there. - From the Sky Box. - Damn, right. He was in the Sky Box right next to us. - That's sick. - And that was the first time that I had ever seen him. And I ended up meeting him like years, years down. I met him like a few months before they end up coming to get him. (laughing) - No bullshit. - I met him. (laughing) - That's a great first car. - That's a great first car. - That was a great one. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was a great first car. - What was your first car? - My first car, I had a 1999 Chevy Malibu. - Okay. - What year we talking? - 2000. - I got it. - Oh, you know, I got that. - I got that in like '08. - Okay. - I got it '08. - And it ain't. But you know what? That car gave me about two, three good years for it. Say a fuck it. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It gave me about two, three years. - The Malibu, I missed the boo. (laughing) - Devin, you remember the boo? (laughing) - He remember when he was out there in the Malibu. - That's all right, what color was it? - It was silver. I had the 10 and windows on there. I put a TV radio in there. And I had some sounds in there. He had two 12s in the back. - Two 12s in the Malibu. - Yeah, I remember that. - I remember that. - Do I? - I know that. - I wanted one so bad. - So bad. - My boy had one of the pickup truck and we were like, "What the fuck?" - Man, and then I used to try to hook it up myself. 'Cause I ain't had no money, had no way to do it. So my shit only would do like certain things. Even only come out, but you couldn't pick the song. You had to play whatever kind of song. - Whatever it was on. - Yeah, whatever it was on. - But it looked good when the girls got in the car. Like, "Oh, yeah." - I was like, "Oh, yeah." - I was like, "Oh, yeah." - I was like, "Oh, yeah." - Yeah, whatever it was on, when it looked good when the girls got in the car. Like, "Oh, you got a scream." - Dude, that and TV's in the headroom. - In the headroom, in the early 2000s. - Yes. - That's all they wrapped about spinning rims, Lamborghini doors and TV. - TV's in your car. - You wanted in your car. - That's the big thing I want to go back. I want to buy a 2005 escalade. - So bad. - Ain't nothing wrong with that. - I want to come with the ramp on it. - Put the TV's on there. - The listeners know and they send them to me. Like, this one's only four grand. This one's eight grand. - Go and get you one, man. - Yeah. - Maybe two shows a town hall, like a little one. - Yeah. Two shows a town hall you'd never be able to do. - I did. I any weird pets grow it up, and he stomp any frogs and he snakes turtles. No, we black Father's we going as a dog Okay, okay, he died what happened he had cushions disease and he had diabetes Your dog had diabetes. Yeah, my grandfather was feeding them orio You better knock that shit off big dog You can get cushions disease whatever the fuck yeah, well, he couldn't walk he couldn't see he was blind It was fucked up. It was sad to see him go. Yeah, that's tough when it's tough when they get old I've never heard of a dog have a thigh of me. That's a fuck that diabetes and cushions disease at the same time It's like having gone to reencolidia both and you don't know which one fucking All over it. How are you when you got your passport? Shit that one that one not too long ago. Oh, maybe maybe Shit I got my passport maybe about five years ago Yeah, round the pan devil. Yeah about five years travel for work. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm on the same page I didn't get mine at all. I was cuz I didn't have a need to go. Yeah, I didn't have enough money The country what's the first time you on an airplane? My mom said when I was a little boy One of the vacations like growing up vacation. Oh, man They took us to death me when we're kids. No kidding. Yeah on the greyhound Yeah, we spent more time on the bus and we did it As ride bro, that's gotta be like this is this is your mom your dad my mom my dad my brother and my little sister and you Me holy shit. I love your parents. We's boy And I took my daughter a couple of years ago and on the bus First class baby. I had some shit. We don't even know about it. I'll tell my prayers. We don't do that. Broke shit no more No, but no, look at that. Look at that. No, but I mean I'll never forget that sure I will never forget the first time that we went and how we got there because I think Honestly as a family when we talk about it now, we talked more about the bus ride So yeah, no there's a our favorite vacation spot used to be west Constell's the del's are big. Yeah, yeah We used to go to the deals almost every summer that's good. It's a good vacation. Yeah. Yeah. We had some good time The deals family reunion stuff, but Pretty classy. What what's the vacation look like now for you? Oh Jamaica, you know, you're like Jamaica. I like Jamaica All inclusive are you gonna house? No, no, no I've been doing all inclusive thing, but I'm about to step it up now. I started getting like billers like private You know private stuff with here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's same. I went to St. Martin at the top of the year That's rich guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this year. I'm gonna go to St. Lucia St. Lucia is real nice. Yeah, so don't go during hurricane season some kind of October jammed up September toe I was gonna go. Okay. I was gonna go, but See what that happened was they don't got that same McDonald's out there that they get bad's house He said fuck that I can't go that many days without it They wouldn't deliver that for me Me too. Yeah, but that was the type of vacations that I'm then I'm into now Um, I mean, but I like I said I took my door to this and stuff like that Like we went to the mall America. I treat that like a vacation for her, so that's cool Yeah, you know, I'm doing a lot of difference. He's like I'm gonna try to take the St. Lucia normally what I try to do in between my Touring is like like I'm on the arena tour right now with my cabs. Yeah, so when I get off of that and going to my full Headline theater in the arena tour myself. I like to take like maybe a few days just to go out the country Put the phone down and just kind of you know, and then you you you out there you end up writing You know writing material Yeah, you gotta live a life-worth comedy. Yeah, yeah, I wrote I wrote one of my best jokes engine maker about something that happened while I was there Yeah, it's great. Yeah, sharp. I like it. Yeah Classy. How many suits do you own how many suits do I own when I used to own a lot of suits? I used to wear suits to my show on stage. Yes, um Man right now. I probably got one suit. Hmm. I probably got one suit designer. It is designer Louis Vuitton What I might be the best answer we've gotten so very good. What's that set you back? I think I was 1200 about the green air. Hey, very nice. Very nice. He's writing it down He's got to rob me after this. Yeah, you're pulling to your I'm keeping track. You're pulling yourself out of the greyhound bus He spelled Louis Vuitton wrong too, by the way. There's no way that's right. I spelled it Voltron. I don't even need to look. It's wrong That's for my own personal now. I'm gonna turn this in. I'm like getting greater than that. I'm not turning this Show your work Okay, um very nice. Can you tie a tie? No, no, no So do you do a tie on stage or do open like no, I don't wear suits on stage anymore, but If I need to tie a tie like my mom will do it. Uh-huh. My dad to do it. There you go. My secure DJ. He'll do it. He tied the line. You know, set a tie a tie? Yeah. Yeah If you're a man, both tie type of guy. Well, I tell him you too big for that. But if he wears a bow tie on a big guy, I bet you're scary It does. Yeah, I mean it does because it's like he's so big when this is like not that threatening and I feel like long time for a big guy. He is principal Yeah, yeah, yeah him and a bow tie that would that would he does it. He does it all the time. I'd be checked by that Yeah, big guy in a bow tie in a bow time. Yeah, now he's serious about shit. Yes, you need your security to be serious about shit. You do I think he's playing PlayStation right now He might be let's talk about travel. Let's talk about it. Uh, you like flying up front Yes, excellent. First class type of guy. Very nice. You take your shoes off on a plane. No Will you bring food on a plane? Sometimes what are we talking about McDonald? You're bringing McDonald's on the plane. You know what? Listen, hear me out Nope, here we out sometimes in the morning because I do still enjoy McDonald's breakfast So sometimes if I'm going through the airport and I'm like oh, there's gonna be like if I got a fly to LA from Chicago That's a four hour flight. Let me give me some breakfast because sometimes the food that they give me in first class isn't always that for sure Yeah, but they do got some good shit though for sure like American Airlines got this short beef rear The burger on Delta Delta throws at it. We're a Delta No, it's trash. They used to do their own burger for a while. Oh, they switched yeah, they switched They get they get a day collab with Shake Shack. I didn't know that it used to be their own burger. It was wild United Airlines got like a grilled chicken over rice. That's that's pretty good It's a couple things that they got this good, but if they don't like sometimes I like a you can see the menu And I'm like, I don't know Let me ask you this because this has kind of been a hot putting issue with some of the some of our comic friends on the show When we travel we like to get to the airport not early, but we get there Very on time so that us as a squad can sit down and have a meal together have breakfast to go just fine in the morning Yeah, so we'll have breakfast at one of the places in the morning. Okay. How do you feel about that? Yeah? I get to the gate when it's time to board. Yeah I get to the airport when it's time to board. Yeah, but you bring it fully efficient. We got damn plain Yeah, but then you can sit on a plane. You can either at least I'm on my way. It's something about My wife is about sitting in that airport where it's like bro You know the last time I was sitting in the fucking airport cover happened. I stopped that shit Once people start can sit. I go right Like drop me off 15 minutes before the flight board There's enough time for me to get to security without the TSA pre-checking all this. You're pre-checked. You're clearing all that stuff Get right to the gate last time to go How do you feel about dropping the seat back? How do I feel about it? Yeah, I dropped that bitch back soon as they tell me I can Okay, you know, I'm saying as soon as you know Soon as I hit that We reached 10,000 feet right now pop right back. You a window or an aisle guy window Keep doing more comfortable. Keep the window up You like to look at what's going on down there? It depends on if the person next to me trying to look out my window You don't like that. Don't look out my window. Wait, what would it like me? I like this fucking seat. I like to win this is my window And if I see you lean over me looking out, I'm gonna shut that no shit. We would look out that side of the plane Really, yeah, what're you looking at if you're up there together? It's just special thing. No, it's not That's my window if I decide I want to lean my head on my window. I can lean my head on my window But why are you leaning over me to look what the fuck are you looking for? He's looking at your filial face I'd rather you look at that than out my window. I sometimes sit there and look at that like a kid on a bus out the window Love it. Yeah, I don't you know some days I sleep with some like like an hour. It's like automatic. It's like my body knows when I'm on the plane Time to go sleep. Yeah, yeah unless unless unless you got a shit Shit on the plane. Hell yeah, I just did that today Hell fucking yeah, I'm gonna tell you something. I think I think they should put A little bit of water in there in the toilet Bro, cuz the shit it gets all it's bad. Bro, and I had to flush that bitch eight times Other day. Yeah, you know what I'm saying because if somebody would have came in behind me they would have like bro Who's that water's a he that water's a huge barrier. Yeah, and then and then it's like If you're not shitting out a turd if you just if it's just Because it's different to have a turret in this shit. Because this shit looks like dog shit. That's what it looked like. Like it was dog shit and I'm like broke. They gonna be like, what the fuck that he's just doing here? The turret is different. You know what I'm saying? The turret is respectable, like this human. Shit. It was bad. It was bad. And the flight attendant was cute. I was embarrassed. I got you. Because you know if you end there, if you end there longer than three minutes, they know what you're doing. Yeah, they know what's up. Yeah. Damn. Then you open the door and just a whiff kind of creeps out. You try to close it real quick. You try to real quick. Try to close. There's always some old lady waiting. Right there. Bitch, move. Bad. They are always standing right on top. You're the one in the back. I know. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't see you up here in the 10 seats. Get the head. Hey, everybody's always standing right on top. I'm right there too though. I don't play that shit. If you sit in the back, don't try to put your bags up. Oh. Yeah. I hate that. If you're there early and you get it, you don't got to worry about that. Don't. You're running. You're running. You're getting on last minute. That's why. No, no, no. I get it. I want right to the front of the line. But you get there as their cone zone one. Hell, yeah. First class. Now, sometimes I might maybe be on zone three or four. But you just skip. You just walk to the front. Yeah, you just walk to the front. You probably already. But people, yeah. But people are patient, right? Yeah. I'm telling them. I walk past. They get to look at them. I'm fucking VIP. Yeah. You got your McDonald's back. I'm status. Okay. Premier one. Big. Huge. Yeah. I'm the real fucking deal with United. And American. I forgot what I am with American. But Delta. I'm some medallion. I got a medallion with Delta. Yeah. Diamonds. You down. I'm dying. What's after dying? The silver. No. Below a diamond platinum gold silver, I guess. Oh, yeah. I'm dying all the way up to you. I'm going to see. I think I'm silver. I'm going. Yeah. I got a lot of Delta. I got knocked back down the silver. He stings. I don't. We fly the same. I don't know. You're not flying first last. No, he doesn't. Oh, yeah. We're up front. For business. We're up front. Yeah. Okay. That's good. For business. You fly a lot. What the fuck? You lose flying for pleasure. You don't go nowhere. For business. For business. Yeah. I'm definitely flying business. Oh, when you go to St. Lucia, what do you fly? I take a private jet. Pop your sheet, man. I'm going to get a bus. That's as much as I can tell you Be able to confirm tonight you fall sleep with the TV on some nights. Okay, tonight Did you feel like a cold in there like a cold in there? What's up, man? You don't want to fucking talk. What's up with you? Do you like a cold in there? What the fuck? And because you do because you because you're a bigger guy I can do. I like it cold because you like it cold Yeah, I know you do yeah, no, I got to heat on 80 in my shit. Don't come over come if you want to you have a fucking heatstroke fuck away with me That's so funny dude Very funny. Yeah, oh god damn. Oh really? If you guys uh, when you have dinner at the house, okay, you guys have it at the you set at the table or do you set it like the on the couch? I think I think I I eat it about everywhere in my room okay at the table eating your room. Yeah, all right by yourself Yeah Yeah, you were to do take out a lot you cooking I cook sometimes what do you cook you come over you're gonna You're going to you're cooking for you know, I haven't called people over. I might do some lamb chops really We can talk old Sam and I cook a lot of different things. Okay. Yeah, if you get take out at the house Will you plate it or will you eat it out of the containers? Either whatever they put broader to me Okay, I feel like taking Raising canes out of the body It's some boozy shit. I might as well make some chicken tenders at the house if I was gonna do that I you're not wrong. I don't know. Wait. Can I take this y'all just got you? Yeah, you kidding me the fuck take it We're back. I'm gonna be back tax message from another one of the biggest dudes. It's great show business. That's why and we're not lying wild You get the hummer. Yeah, I'm getting it. Yeah, if not that guy, I'll buy you one. Yeah, I hope so. He's got it. I'm gonna add some But was the last time you did karaoke The night that my daughter was conceived Really, yes, I'm not saying it anymore You remember what the song we were singing was? It was my girl of the temptations And I had a daughter that's pretty I made a daughter that night. That's crazy That's a nice story, and it was the first night I ever drunk beer Really? I don't drink beer no more. No. What kind of beer was it? Do you remember? No, they brought it in the fucking jug It's a picture for all I knows I don't fucking know damn. What do you drink at all? Are that was this? I drink occasionally occasionally. I eat it I eat addables now gotcha. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I respect it. I fuck with it. You're doing crazy levels of animals or just something small Wait, what's the crazy level? I don't know. What are you doing? I You got kids 20 30 milligrams 20 really? You'll stop 20 my goal stage off 20 You're on stage with a 20 bro. You got a thing though It's the type that I eat though because you know it's different kind of so I'm a Sativa guy that's one Uh-huh, then they have different addables that kind of like focus on You know, it makes you focus it is it happens you tap in with your creative side. Okay, so sometimes You know when I really want to write mm-hmm because most times I write on the stage. Yeah, when I really want to write I'll eat one and I go up there and cook. Okay. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna try He gonna try the 20 gonna kick in I can't go out there. I can't go out there right now We're talking about it all the time. You know 10 20 10 20 is it, but you know something nice, you know, I might I might do 50 if I want to chill and have a good time. It ain't that bad. I won't go no higher than 50 Yeah, I used to get some back bro a couple years ago Just do you said birthday was 25 milligrams and um bitches used to hit hard Like they said so hard I had to stop eating them because I was still be high the next day Yeah, the residual with it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I'm not good with that shit. Yeah, I'm not good with drugs That's an understatement What about a wedding? Will you dance to the wedding? Yeah, I would dance to the wedding and who's wedding? I don't know you tell me Like if I got married, I would dance in my way. Of course, okay brother gets married you dancing at the wedding. My brother is a married Did you dance at dinner? Did you dance at the wedding? He got married at the courthouse so they wouldn't allow him to dance Hey, not that shit. Yeah, I'll try to do the cha cha slide name for this out. Let me ask you this you go to a Family members kids wedding so it's like you know a cousin or something like that, okay younger in your family What are you doing in the envelope? What do you drop it on the gift? What's the gift? It's a family members. Who's the family member? Yeah, you tell me a cousin's kid a cut one of my cousins kids Someone close okay, so one of your good friends kid or one of your good friends is you know a little bit younger they're getting married One of my good friends. It's not a stranger. You're okay. It's not you're not close are we? I just got to know for context. I don't know. We're close. Yeah And they're getting married. Give me your give me your close and then give me what the guy who's not that close is okay Close like if your girl was like, hey, we gotta go to this wedding if my girl is like we gotta go to this wedding It's her peoples. Yeah, okay. What's in there? What are they getting? Oh them hurt people? That's her problem. Oh, really? Yeah, what the fuck am I giving them the money for? They should be happy. I showed up Now okay, bam. I got a guy son. Right okay, my guy son. What's it going to get married? Uh-huh, you know what I'm saying? And he was doing well for itself to start them off. I would probably give him anywhere between five to ten thousand What yeah, I'm with that fuck your girl's friends family. Yeah But if my girl like if it was her people like well, I'm not that don't even make sense You're not gonna throw 500 for what? The way he's answering that is like it's a such a stoncho It's like dude, I don't even give him shit because he's got five ten G's on the other side No, no, you did say if he's doing well like if the kids will like show in like he's Yeah, yeah, yeah, I want to help out like this. This kid's is kids really working Yeah, whatever it is. What if he's not you throttle that back to be like I'm not letting you I'm not giving me this to go blow or whatever Yeah, well first of all why are you married? Damn, that's very very sharp. Yeah, why are you I didn't think of that? You mean how you're shit together? You're gonna ruin this girl's life up You ain't gonna fuck my money up Dude, I shit the hurt. I'm gonna keep my money damn. Wow, what a smart very very well thought through deeper level answer That's pretty Any splitting of the checks at a restaurant. No, nice I assume you go out with most people You're rather than I assume the people that called you You're picking on most yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm picking on most of the most of the time. I ain't like my agents Don't my agent take me out And if you went out with either one of the people that contacted you you're not reaching for the check on that are you? Maybe out of wrist out of I would I would offer but knowing both of those guys they're not gonna let me do it I would argue with those two dudes That check doesn't even come to the table. Yeah, that's they're not like oh, hey, Mr So and so yeah, here's the check Yeah, dig into your pocket. Here's my capital one car. Yeah, no, I couldn't like I couldn't maybe That's something they make it man. Yeah, maybe they let me buy them a drink. Yeah, we have a drink I got the drinks. Yeah, just something out of it Whatever this day was I mean, yeah, I mean they just so much they just so rich We're talking about You bought me a beer. Yeah Thank you, my guy What the fuck I mean I would go around telling everybody Let me ask you this When you first started getting you know a few big checks. Was there anything that you was any Philly purchase, you know like a jet ski or anything crazy like that It didn't even have to be that big of a check But just like you spent most of the check on something that you shouldn't because if you would have won the 75,000 Yeah, you would have bought your dad a car. Yeah, it wouldn't have been a BMW. No, I got him a for focus itself. Yeah I just I got a check. No, I don't think I ever like got a big lump some of money and made a purchase and I was like I'm just have you always been pretty smart with with with with your finances to a degree when I started getting a lot of money Uh-huh. Yeah, like but when I was you know check the check Yeah, if it was either the car no or some McDonald's I was paying I was getting McDonald's Yeah, but now it's like I make so much money That is easier to manage it because it's like bro. It's nothing. You know, it's it's nothing that I've done It's nothing that I want that I can't get And it's nothing that I like absolutely have to have where I got to go break the bank thing. There's nothing You're doing in a week where you're like what the heck? Yeah, I'm not I'm not about to go spend A hundred grand in a week You know what I'm saying I might go to the store go shop like I went shopping Yes, that's my like eight thousand. I'm close. What's that look like? Do you like what store what where we're? Amiri I went to the mirror. I got this yesterday these jeans in this hoodie Here's a mirror for Mike Amiri. He got his own clothing brand. You know the comic. He's white. Oh Mike Amiri. I think he's white cool guy Luke would Yeah, Mary Jeans, is he white? I don't know I feel like I'm like a false and you were I like that too. Yeah, I just realized what his job was He is white. He is white. Yeah, it's a boy guy. Yeah, I didn't say that He took it to pause pause pause pause, but yeah, no, Mike Amiri Louis Vuitton. I got a Louis Vuitton yo-yo Louis Vuitton yo-yo, yeah, I wish I'd have brought it with me because I knew you guys were probably like what's Idiot like I gotta show it to you Louis Vuitton yo-yo is That calls to me. Why did you buy that? Okay, you are not a truth. Yeah. Oh there's got it. Your boy's got it That's a good security go let me see it. That's the Louis Vuitton It's gonna block and a Louis Vuitton. Yeah, look at that in the crossbond. That's crazy. Yeah, that's heavy shit. Yeah It's a real deal. You said you didn't make any stupid fucking purchase. Yeah, I just bought that though. Huh, I just bought that it was seven hundred bucks That's less than I expected, but they have that at the counter like an impulse by well It was like I don't know so I went and I noticed that a Lot of big dudes were small people's clothes, so we was at Louis Vuitton and they didn't have my size as anything like they'll have My size in the pants but the top somebody bought it. Okay, so, you know somebody damn well. It doesn't zip Don't even zip, you know saying pisses me out. He said that's my I knew so I walk around and say I'm a medium. I was so frustrated And I was like man y'all you got me y'all don't get nothing I was like I need something where to show tonight and I looked in the case and I saw this And I was like what is that and I was like it's a yo-yo. I said let me see it in it And he gave it to me and like you know kind of started, you know yo-yo and uh, I'm like how much is it? And he's like seven hundred bucks. I said fuck it y'all don't get anything else. Let me bow to yo-yo And then I instantly started you know using a yo-yo and he was like before I go on stage and shit like that It like kind of relax. It relaxes me I was a different part of your brain. Yeah, so now I take my yo-yo everywhere. I like that. That's no I found something Yeah, yeah, so somebody said I might be on the spectrum because of this. No, that ain't think so. No, I think that's good Thank you brought that from what the hell you doing with the yo-yo to very smart Very you see the process. Thank you does Yeah, it does. I mean, you know, yeah This is this is a very unique Okay I mean, I don't really see you know The only thing I really heard was the Greyhound bus and what the fuck man humble beginnings You're blinded by the McDonald's the golden arches though a little bit. I mean it's classy. Yeah, he's class all class Yeah, what can I say? Thank you guys for the thanks for coming in there 100 percent mojo Brooks ladies and gentlemen. I'm a hundred percent Classy y'all here classy. One of those very few What's the Hummer though? Yeah, he's new my new A little bit there's trash there. I mean here's a thing with the Hummer It's like I just like I just like the new style. I like the way it looks. I'm not a hundred percent gone Don't know if I'm gonna get that. I don't want to buy another car Yeah, I'm even looking at some Lamborghini He's sharp with money though. Yeah, he didn't really have anything that didn't have a strong explanation to I'll give you that It wasn't just because like this is and I had to think about like everything that I buy I'm thinking like of everything like all the major purchases that I've made it was things that you know Like I need it or things like I deserve this and what are we talking about what really makes some classy is the The money for the wedding That's yeah, that's mojo bro. 100 percent Right now, yeah, please go check him out one of the funniest guys out there doing it. Anything else you want to focus out there? No, um, you know what? I want you out of know that this is an absolutely Great podcast. Oh, thank you man. Appreciate you all of my comedy buddies out there if you if you if you haven't been Come thank you. I mean, this is so much like You know, it's not like your traditional No, you know bullshit questions. Yeah. Thanks. And now you got to fake like you about to cry Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I had I had an amazing time. So yeah, y'all give it up to them Let's clap it up. These are some classy guys, you know McDonald's on me when I come back. Oh, yeah, fuck it. Mojo Brooks Asian gentlemen. Thank you guys Give me what he got for the guys. We're all over the road right now tickets are on sale Get them why they last we love you. Yeah, we love mojo. We love you brother. Now. I love you back - Coming in. - Yes, for sure. - Jack, we love you and we'll see you next week. Peace.