Modesty Matters

(upbeat music) - Welcome to the Gospel Podcast where we provide sound doctrine for everyday people. I'm your host, Kosti Hin, and I wanna keep our Holiness series rolling by understanding why modesty matters in a world that encourages you to pretty much flaunt what you've got. Now, we're already in the deep end here. This is episode two. Last week, I talked about holiness and your mouth, like cussing language, unwholesome speech. And if you're just picking up with us, you need to go back and listen to the last episode, at least the first 10 minutes, where I set the series up with a clear definition and rejection, okay, make that, I mean, you should understand that, and rejection of legalism. And I lay out a biblical foundation for pursuing holiness in our Christian obedience to Christ. It's about love for him, not following the rules. And I don't wanna have to repeat everything that I've already said for sake of time. So don't miss the foundation. I'm not gonna nuance everything in every episode and go ahead and don't forget now, this is not legalism and don't forget, legalism is this and oh, by the way, you know, none of that. You go to the beginning, listen to that. You'll have a strong foundation and not just jump headlong into like rule following about modesty, 'cause this can leave you with an incomplete picture. And I'll try to make sure to do that disclaimer at least in each episode, just in case people jump into future ones and they need to go back and listen. Now, if you're a regular here for the gospel and you read our articles, you're following on Instagram, you watch the Reels, you follow the teaching series on YouTube and then you're part of the podcast family. You know, I aim for biblical balance. I wanna help you achieve clarity. We wanna honor Christ. I love the idea as much as we can of identifying ditches on either side of any given truth and bringing us to biblical balance. It doesn't mean that I'm gonna third way every single thing and always try to nuance everything in the middle. It's there are ditches that the enemy wants us following into both extremes. I would often describe it as like, legalism is over here, this intense rule following and then licensed to sin or cheap grace. Like, well, God saves and forgives. So yeah, no worries. And we get stuck on either side and the devil's just really excited because nobody's thinking critically and one of the main goals at For the Gospel is to provide sound doctrine that's truth for everyday people. What is that? Well, it's everyday language. It's not, you know, hoidi-toidi, big theological words that you can't understand in any theological dictionary to follow along. It's simple, biblical balance. And so I wanna provide that on all of these practical issues. And at the same time, maintain that legalism is a stain on the faith. So I'm not gonna pull punches on obedience. And I just finished a series on Christian Liberty. We know there's freedom in Christ for us as Christians for many specific activities. But when it comes to sin, you know, I know, come on family, we're not messing around. So here we go. When we talk about holiness, we inevitably collide with one of the most sensitive issues in our culture, sexuality. And more specifically, let me use this term, sexualization. We live in a world that constantly markets the body and pushes people to celebrate exposure. And they treat modesty like it's some outdated or oppressive idea. But scripture has never altered its definition of modesty based on cultural trends. You don't see that in the pattern throughout history in the Bible. God defines holiness. God's word sets the course for modesty, not Instagram, not fashion cycles, not what's a vibe, not what's trendy, not because we got a great body. And well, if you got it, flon it. And certainly not personal preference. So I want to be clear, this is biblical. I also want to be clear from the outset that the Bible affirms the goodness of the human body. God created it. He called it good. God designed sex and sexuality. He designed the body and the enjoyment of one another and attraction and all these things as a good gift and used especially within marriage. And there's a principle even there. What a joy that we're attracted to someone and we get to get married to them. So man to a woman, a woman to a man, opposite sex, not same sex attraction, not same sex marriage. But I look at Christine, my wife and think, wow, she is beautiful. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I have to have her forever. I want to marry her. I pursue her. I get to marry her. We have six children. And I still wake up every day and think, man, this woman, like I love my wife. I love looking at my wife. I enjoy my wife. That is appropriate. That is biblical. So I want to help you understand that even off the bat here. We're talking modesty. There's this almost overspiritualized idea that don't worry if you're not attracted to them. You'll grow an attraction. This ain't the 1800s in Great Britain where you're marrying for money. And it's like, oh, you'll learn to love him. He's got money and status. No, you're not trying to be a duke or a duchess. You are being biblical. And it is biblical to be attracted to your husband or your wife. It's biblical to be attracted to that girl or that guy and to go through the process of dating and betrothal or engagement and courtship properly and biblically. It is wonderful. All these things are gifts from God. There's nothing shameful about the body. There's nothing shameful about attraction. There's certainly nothing shameful about modesty. Modesty is just about stewardship. If I got it, it doesn't mean I got a flaunt it. I don't need to show the world my stuff. And especially for a husband, you don't need to flaunt your wife on display as some trophy to show everybody what you got. That is not biblical. Modesty is stewardship. It's how we honor God with our body and how we love one another with our choices. And it is not shaming ourselves. And now because of an over emphasis on modesty and following the rules, we get an image and it's like taboo to be attracted or taboo to do it. And it's like then people have an improper view of the body, sexuality, all of those things. And so definitely in the realm of what we're talking about, but probably a really helpful topic for me to address at some point on the podcast. I'll give you the disclaimer. So who to listen to it and around, if you're driving with your children, maybe it'd not be the exact topic that you broached at certain ages. But this is important. I remember H.B. Charles one time saying, the world will not wait to teach your kids its ways. So don't wait to teach your kids God's ways. We got to get there before the world when it comes to all of these matters. And in this case, I want to talk about modesty. In 1 Corinthians chapter six, verses 19 to 20, if you have your Bible, you can grab it and read this text with me. It's really an emphasis on self control and restraint. And in 1 Corinthians chapter six, verses 19 to 20, Paul is helping the church understand that we need to honor God with our bodies and how we love each other with our choices and how we view the way we're living. So 1 Corinthians chapter six, verses 19 to 20, Paul is kind of a rebuke pretty much to the church at Corinth. And he says in chapter six, verse 19, or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is within you, whom you have from God and that you are not your own. Then he says this, verse 20, for you have been bought with a price, therefore glorified God in your body. The idea, if you've got a header on your Bible in these different sections, mine says the body is the Lord. That's what it says on top of that. Well, that really is just a great summary statement. That verse dismantles the idea that, you know, I can do whatever I want with my body. As Christians, those who are filled with the Holy Spirit, we're the temple of God, this right here, I'm getting old and for you, it's your body. Okay, but it belongs to the Lord. Whether I'm 11, whether I'm 12, whether I'm 15, whether I'm 41, whether I'm 80, this shell belongs to the Lord. They're not these bodies we have platforms for self-expression and ours to do whatever we want. They're instruments for God's glory. Now, scripture addresses modesty directly. Paul exhorts women in 1 Timothy 2 verses 9 and 10. Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly garments, or rather by means of good works as is proper for women, making a claim to godliness. Paul the Apostle is unpacking the house rules really for the church and the point is not him banning certain fabrics or styles. You can't wear jewelry, you can't look trendy. The point is godliness shapes our presentation. In those days, the biblical times, just like now, there were always worldly women who had that mentality of, you know, flaunt it if you got it. It's like Beyonce mentality before Beyonce was ever here. Paul saying that's not how a woman of god thinks about her body. You can be well presented in shape, classy, trendy, all those things without adopting the mentality of the world. You can be healthy and strong, but you don't need to show all your stuff to make sure everybody knows you got it. I know I'm in today's generation, so are you, that bodies and being in shape is a kind of currency. It lets everybody know I'm disciplined, I'm strong, I make great decisions. I don't eat bad, I take care of this and you become sort of a living statue of sorts or a living idol and people are supposed to look at you and be impressed. Listen, that's not the mentality of the world and what I don't mean is being healthy. No, we should be healthy. You should be strong. We should take care of our temple. But there's a way to dress that draws attention to character and is still classy and not intentionally drawing unnecessary attention to your body or certain parts. Scripture calls Christian women towards a mentality of godliness, not if you got it from it. Now, I want to address some cultural objections here. You're going to hear it constantly. Women can dress however they want. Men just need to control their lust. Why is that dangerous? Well, because there's a grain of truth in it, but it's a half truth. Yes, men are fully responsible for their lust. Jesus could not be clearer about this in Matthew chapter 528. I've been preaching through the gospel of Matthew at Shepherd's house and Jesus pulls no punches in the sermon on the Mount. He says, but I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Men don't get a free pass. Lust is sin regardless of the circumstance. Men must fight it ruthlessly and repent very quickly and pursue purity very seriously. Unless, be honest here, there are men who would lust after a woman if she was wearing a turtleneck or a burka because the problem isn't her outfit. It's his heart. But acknowledging male responsibility does not erase female responsibility. Scripture never pits holiness against love for neighbor or against being careful that you're not a stumbling block. It holds them together. In Romans chapter 14 verse 13, we talked about this a little bit. In the Christian Liberty series, we could certainly apply it to this topic. Paul commands believers to not only avoid sin personally. Like, well, I don't do this. No, but avoid putting stumbling blocks in front of others because the way we operate is a corporate matter. We're a body. We're connected. And that principle applies to everything, including how we present ourselves to say, well, men are going to lust anyway. So modesty doesn't matter. It's like saying people sin anyway. So obedience is pointless. That logic undermines every call to holiness and Scripture. The presence of sin in others or in the world with the fact that people will sin never lowers God's standard for us. Who do you belong to? Christ. Who's your father? God. And therefore, how should you live? According to his ways, don't look at others in what they do and make that the determining factor on how you're going to walk. Holiness is not determined by the worst behavior around us, but by the word of God above us. In first Peter, first Peter is exhorting women in addition to men and the church at large. But first Peter three in particular has this statement that often gets thrown around misunderstood. And I want to highlight it real quick because it's very, very important. In Peter's instructions to husbands and wives, he is helping the wives understand their role. Obviously in the midst of a challenging situation, they're going through trials and he never pulls punches or says, well, you just do you because you know, it's obviously a really hard time for you. No, he was very clear. And he says in verse three of first Peter three, your adornment must not be merely external, braided, braiding of the hair, the wearing of gold jewelry or putting on dresses, the idea of me, it's not just about like, oh, look at how good I look. No, but let it be the hidden person of the heart with imperishable beauty and the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. It doesn't mean women have to dress plainly or unattractively. The idea is not merely external. It means that you sisters refuse to traffic in sexualized self-presentation or to define your beauty by merely what is on the outside when it's primarily about what's on the inside that matters to God. There's a difference between beauty and bait. Okay. God looks at the inside and to present yourself well on the outside is fine. But to turn yourself into a kind of bait, to try to get attention, to try to draw the eyes, well, scripture rejects that. scripture affirms beauty. Yes and a maim, it rejects seduction. And sexualization is the problem of intentionally presenting oneself in a way that stirs sexual attention outside of God's design. You know, men look at me. That means I still got it or the ladies are hitting on me or looking at me and you guys are doing this and that and the other to draw their eyes and their attention just because you want to feel like you still got it. Look, God calls us away from the traditional midlife crisis to just see if I still got just want to know. No, you don't need to know because it's what is on the inside that matters to the Lord. We're not after attention outside of God's design. Do we want to be attractive for my wife? Yeah. Should you, if you're a woman, will be attractive for your husband? Of course. Let's be well presented and well put together. But we're not turning our body into a billboard for everyone else. When you think that way, it shifts the attention from personhood to body parts. Like this is a person made in the image of God. But then when you move it to sort of a sexualized presentation and the desire for attention outside of God's design, all of a sudden it's just about objectification and body parts and this, that and the other. And it subtly trains others to view you through a sexualized lens rather than as a sister in Christ, which is exactly what Paul tells Timothy, the young men are to see their sisters in the Lord as sisters. Well, that means we need to present ourselves in a way that is appropriate and biblical if you're a woman. It also means we're supposed to view women an appropriate way if you're a man. Now, people are always going to mess this up. Always going to take it too far. Inevitably, there'll be somebody if you're watching this on YouTube, you'd put in the comments, yeah, well, you know, I went to this private school that took it too far. I was at a church where they were measuring hemlines and we address codes and if you wore a skirt that wasn't down to your ankles, you were ostracized or so and so got church discipline to next communicated because they were a modest and they definitely covered their whole body, but they wore a skirt that showed their shins. I know there are exceptions. I know there's fundamentalism in the worst sense and I know that there's legalists out there. Look, just stick to the Bible. The Scriptures, not man-made rules direct us in all circumstances, so don't let the legalism of someone now give you a bitter aftertaste towards the law of God or the commands of God in this area. Don't be a rebel. Now look, I say that as one who can relate when people tell me what to do in a way that is not a task to Scripture, I get very bothered. In fact, I tend to push back even more because when it comes to fight or flight on those matters, I'm fight all the way. You're not going to tell me or try to control me with what is outside of Scripture. That's your preference. That's your rule, not gods and so it's not mine. Okay, yes and amen. But then don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Don't suddenly hear the word modest. You go, "Oh, please, here we go. They're going to measure hemlines." No, no, no. That's somebody's past rule, stabbed on you, overdone, mistreatment, all of those things. Don't let that dictate how you treasure the word of God and take it serious. Also, don't be laxidaisical about how we approach this. Don't be one of those Christians that goes, "What's the big deal? It's all what's on the inside and not what's on the outside." Then people are wearing pants that look painted on and things that are very revealing with their body and they claim grace, grace, grace, or they say everyone's judging in their a Pharisee. Well, no, you're showing all the goods and that goes against what scripture calls you to do and how to present yourself as a woman. So, which is it? What do we do? It seems really bothersome and like we got to think about this. Yes, welcome to critical thinking on all things scripture. Welcome to the life of following Christ where you're going to meditate on his word day and night and think about what he's called you to. We're never off the clock if you will of Christianity. There's never a moment where we're like, "Oh, I'm so sick of just like, what does the Bible say? What does the Bible say? If you feel that way, friend, you don't have an issue that is shallow or light or menial. You have a very serious spiritual problem. You have a problem with the word of God. You have an issue with God in his direction. You have a problem with rebellion against your father. We want to please him. His commands are not burdensome. And so, this is really about asking heart level questions. What am I trying to communicate with how I dress? Am I aiming to glorify God or draw attention to myself? And if you're a woman, am I helping my brothers in Christ's prosuburity or am I making that pursuit harder? And at the same time, for you men, hear this, modesty's not your loophole. Jesus doesn't say, well, if a woman dresses immodestly, you can lust. You know, it is what it is. No, he says, if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out. That's strong language. You have a strong responsibility. So men, you must own your own thought lives before God without blame shifting. And then avoid women who dress immodestly that incite the lusts of men. Avoid them altogether. That is your responsibility. The approach here is both men and women end up owning their part in the body with how they present their own body. And it keeps holiness from becoming a competition, like who's more at fault here? Was this him or her? No, it's a communal pursuit of righteousness. Women are called to dress in a way that reflects godliness and men are called to look in a way that reflects self-control, both become acts of worship. Now let me just give you five applications here to help you make spirit led decisions on modesty. I'll end to every one of these episodes. The same way with some practical truths that can help you apply these first redefine freedom biblically. Confusion freedom is not the right to do whatever you want. It is the power to do what honors god. That's Galatians 5, 13. Second, ask intentional questions. So before you get dressed or before you direct your daughter to put on an outfit or any of these things, think about what message am I sending? Who am I trying to please? Be honest with yourself. Does this reflect humility or self-promotion? And I'm simply being trendy or am I trying to show it off? Third, for women refuse the lie that modesty erases beauty. God defines beauty. He consistently prioritizes character over the display of the body. So maybe just maybe the problem isn't modesty, it's your definition of beauty. Fourth, for men, take ruthless ownership of your eyes and your thoughts. If you've got to install safeguards, if you've got to have an accountability partner to confess in quickly too, if you need to avoid certain women or certain environments and pursue accountability without excuse, do it. Take responsibility. Don't blame women. Own it. They have their part. We of ours. Fifth, for parents. Train your children early. Modesty has learned long before adulthood. And if you're silent or even worse, if you are enabling, like, oh, doesn't she look so cuteness and, oh, oh, that's just she look at her little body. There are so many inappropriate mentalities in the world today. And one of the ones that I see, I've got young kids, school aged kids, my wife and I, we're in this culture. And one of the things you see is women dress up their little girls in a way that tries to present them as adult women are and we glorify that. And I don't know where it comes from in particular, except to say it comes from the heart and sin. But I don't know if it's swifty culture. I don't know if we've just gone so far as to celebrating the body and the empowerment of women. And then now we dump modesty off and say, well, it's just a man's problem. That's gross. Why are they looking? Why are they lusting? Meanwhile, you're presenting your daughters to the world in a way that highlights their body in an inappropriate way may it never be. And in a world where right now the Epstein files are everywhere and you can easily understand and access credible factual information about the targeting of young girls for sex trafficking, the targeting of young girls, the analysis of their body, the misdirection and misrepresentation of their beauty and misdefinition of their beauty. Oh, how much more brothers, men, you need to lead your homes. You need to take the reins and you know how we teach here. It is biblical order, but it is sacrifice and love and service unto Christ and loving your wives and your children like Christ. But I will say this unapologetically when it comes to these areas, there ought to be a fatherhood patriarchal leadership mindset where men say, no, not in my home, not with my daughter. She won't be dressed that way. She won't be presented. This is my princess that I will one day joyfully walk down the aisle and give to a man. She is beautiful. Her body is a treasure. It is a gift. She is a temple and she will not be presented in a way that flants her body and sexualizes her. She is my princess and ultimately his, not in this house. Brothers, if you've got a wife who is out of control, put in the little whatever outfits honor and flaunt her body and she thinks it's cute, posted on Instagram. Let me tell you in today's world and any world that's ever been lived in. That is outside of God's design, protect your daughters and train your home and you sisters understand. So is the mother, the Bible says, so is the daughter, how you dress, how you flaunt, how you think, how you're trendy and you do treasure well presented beauty at the same time, the inner beauty of an imperishable heart, quiet, the quiet spirit, the godliness inside. The way you do that, your daughter will copy you. They will. They're looking at you for permission and guidance. So train your children early with your sons, train them on what is godly, what is a proper woman, what is proper presentation, what do we consider as beautiful and what do we consider as bait, what do we avoid the proverb seven, the woman who's on the prowl, she's pretty but she's poison her lips, drip with honey, but you will die if you consume it. Don't lack sense. Be wise, train your children so they're not discipled by the culture. Finally pursue holiness together. It's not about shame, it's about love for God and love for one another. Holiness is not restrictive. It's actually very liberating and the church needs to treat sexuality with reverence and also as a gift and shine brightly in a culture that treats it so cheaply. It's a wonderful gift to be celebrated in its rightful place and under its rightful purpose. God standard has not changed and bias grace neither should yours or mine. Brothers, sisters, I hope this episode has helped you think deeply about the way you present your body and how to honor Christ. As always, thank you for listening. Thanks for watching. Thanks for supporting Above All else. Thank you so much for praying. This year we've been already asking God to transform hearts in the next generation through for the gospel's resources and to bring more gospel patrons into the ministry as valued partners to advance the mission. It needs been answering both of those every month. We're immensely grateful for the testimonies from you that are pouring in for your faithful support and your trust. We've stored that with you in mind and we want to honor God and use this ministry to have a high impact for his glory. To learn more about our ministry or to partner with us, you can go to forthegospel.org Don't forget, follow us on Instagram and different social media platforms along with subscribing on YouTube to get daily content that will challenge you, sharpen you, encourage you and give you something to share with others as a witness for the gospel. I'll be back next Monday with another episode on that note. Keep on living for the gospel. (gentle music)