Mission: Impeachable

So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay triots, they triots, black triots, brown triots, anybody who didn't vote for Trump, we love you. But all of the triple Trumpers, double Trumpers, and we're so mad right now, if you even voted for him once, that you can do what, Pumps? Fuck off! All right, Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with. And this is just like, I think, basic human decency. When you have lipstick on your teeth or food in your teeth, I don't care if we're friends. I don't care if we've never met before. You immediately say, hey, you've got lipstick on your teeth. I was prancing around a wedding with a big spinach thing in my tooth for 30 minutes and nobody told me. And then I walk up to my daughter and she's like, oh my God, you have food in your teeth. And I'm like, every single one of those people. That didn't tell me I have food in my teeth is a failure as a human being. I just think you have to tell. You have to, have to, have to tell. You are so good at this. You are, you are so clutch at this. Listener, I cannot tell you how many times Pumps and I have gone places or done something and she's like, oh my God, you've got this on your face or this in your teeth. Or she's very, very good at making sure everybody's stuff is organized. And like. Likewise, I return the favor to her because Trump is, Trump, what did I call you, Trump? Pumps. Horrible. Sorry, Pumps. Pumps is prone to camel toe. So when we're around each other, I'm always on camel toe watch for Pumps. And it's like, hey, I know you're not feeling it, but you got to get that out of there. You are so good about this. So listen to this. You're going to love this. You're going to love it. I was on Kara Swisher's podcast a couple of weeks ago. I like substituted for her. I was her co-host on Pivot. And I received a DM from a friend who was like, I saw you on Kara Swisher's podcast. You did great. You had food in your lower teeth. I raced to YouTube. That's horrible. I race to YouTube. Race. And I'm looking and I'm looking and I'm like, oh my. You had it. Yes. Yes. That's horrible. That's horrible. Because it was one of those days where I'm just like. My days are like pack, pack, pack, pack, pack, eat, eat, eat, shovel food for 20 minutes, put the headphones back on, get the mic back out again. And it was one of those days where I just am trying to find, you know, 15 minutes to eat a meal. And a lot of times I don't even have time in my filming days to eat. And so I remember like pushing the salad bowl away and I didn't do a check. I did not do a check. And I am on Pivot podcast with food as a co-host. Not just a guest that came in for 10 minutes. Right. No, the whole time. You know who I blame for that, Jennifer? Kylie. Kylie. That's a great person to blame. Kylie. Yeah. She should have told you. She should have done the fit check before you got on. What a fucking cunt right here. I did not put that up. I didn't put. I did not. No, I know. But you were both participated in me having that liner on and filming a whole episode. I filmed a whole episode. And look. I mean, what is even that? I remember it was like I bought some new eyeliner thinking it wouldn't smudge. And I mean, it's like down to here. Also, also, remember the headband night? The night everybody came in from the gym and I had the headband? Y'all didn't tell me how bad that looked. I blame Kylie for that, too. You have to throw me in on the headband and on the eyeliner. I blame you on the eyeliner, too. Yeah. I mean, I have to. I have to take responsibility for that as well. The headband. It was one of those things, Kylie, if you can find it. It was one of those things that I was just so mystified by it. And I did not think it was fixable. Like, I didn't think there was a way that we could. This is what it is. There was. I didn't. I'm like, OK, so if I put this hair in or I do X, Y, Z, is that going to fix this problem? No. OK. Let me tell you what I've had it with. It's really not something I've personally had it with, although I have had it. But there's an example I can give you all that I observed that we have been remiss in not talking about as a grievance that happens in the in the people. So this past weekend, Josh Welch and I went to play pickleball with Jonathan, Jonathan Van Ness and his husband, Mark Peacock. And they're very good friends of ours. And we love to double date with JVN and Mark. And Mark was telling us that. But on the way over to the pickleball courts, JVN was reading Mark for filth because Mark was not as disappointed about the Williams sisters double loss in the first round at the U.S. Open as Jonathan was. Jonathan was upset. He was on pins and needles. He he felt it with everything in him. And he's cheering and he went. Highs and the lows. And then they they they played great, but they didn't pull out the win. Mark didn't really care that much about it. I mean, he would have been like, great. They win. They lose. Whatever. Well, Jonathan in his being upset about the defeat and seeing Mark being dismissive about it, he decides to zero in on Mark. It was what you do. And then he escalates it that Mark is ageist. Because the Williams sisters, he's like, well, I mean, look, he's like, Jonathan's like, I can't believe they lost. They did so good. He's like, when they're in their 40s, they retired. They've come back. I mean, and Mark's British. So he's, you know, he's like, maybe they should just call it. And then Jonathan's like, well, are you ageist? Are you sexy? Are you this? And it just escalates. And JVN and Mark, you know, I love you all. Y'all are my favorite double daters on the planet. And dear, dear friends of mine. But I use this as an example because I think we've all. You know, you're in a relationship with somebody, whether it's a friend, a child, a parent, a spouse, a love interest, and you're really feeling something really big and you share it with the person that you're with at the time. And they do not share in a commensurate way the emotion, whether it's joy, defeat, anger, whatever. And I think you and I have had this a lot where you will call. Call me about something that you're really mad about. And I go, you go, well, this pisses me off. You're not as mad as I want you to be. But right. And you hang up on me. And so I think that this is something we haven't talked about. So the grievance is. I've had it with people that don't share or at least feign the and match in a commensurate way and a very emotional feeling that one is having. So I thought we should discuss this as a family. No, I completely agree. I have done that a million times. I've done it with my kids. I've done it with my ex-husband, friends, the whole nine. Here's the thing. And I'm with you. Just feign it because, you know, it's like because here's how it feels like. This is super important to me. I'm really, really feeling this. And when you just kind of poopoo it off, then I take it personally, even though really it has nothing to do with me. And then, of course, I'm going to go straight in personal to you. I'm going to just get right to the neck. Because you don't feel my emotion. So I think it's more about not feeling heard or seen. Do you or no? Am I overanalyzing? I mean, I think we've all been on both sides of this. For sure. Like, I remember when Trump won in 2016, I called you and I was just beside myself. Yeah. Doubled over tears, blah, blah, blah. And you're like, it'll be fine. And I was just like, no, it's wild. Grabbed by the pussy. So we've all. We've all. We've all experienced like on both sides of it. Like, I've been the person that I've been the Jonathan that wants somebody to match and then they don't. And then I'm just like, well, you're ageist and you're this and you've been to that. But I've also been the poopooer. And so I just thought it was an interesting thing. And obviously, everybody, we're the biggest hypocrites on the planet. Most of our grievances are a spot it, got it situation. We spot them because we do them. All right, ladies. We all have so many extra steps we have to take when we get ready for each day. Obviously, makeup is a big part of this. But what if I told you could use something that was fantastic but would cut the time in half? That's why I want to share with you about Jones Road Beauty. I cannot stand that caked on heavy look. I can't stand it. And Jones Road Beauty caters to people just like me who like a fresh makeup that kind of evens out the blemishes. But it gives you a natural glow. And they have a great new product they are launching right now. It is the Minimalist Defining Mascara. It gives your lashes natural-looking length, fullness, and definition without clumps, smudging, or flaking. So, listener, modern-day makeup that's clean, strategic, and multifunctional for effortless routines. For a limited time, our listeners are getting a free full-sized mascara on their first purchase when they use the code HADIT at checkout. Just head to. to jonesroadbeauty.com Use code HATIT at checkout. And after you purchase, they will ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and let them know that we sent you. I do. I just, I thought it was really interesting. And Josh and I talked about it too, because Josh and I experienced this a lot where Josh likes to force a sweater. Yeah, he does. He's a sweater forcer. He loves sweaters and he loves to wear them year round. And so summer is a very, summer is a minefield for him because it's hot. It's hot in New York. It's hot in Oklahoma. It's hot in the Northern Hemisphere, basically. And so he really struggles with, he can't wear a sweater. So he'll come to me and he goes, I mean, DeMar, the high's 82. I'm kind of thinking I could do a really thin, very, very thin sweater. I'm like, Josh, it's August and it's 82 degrees outside. No, you cannot force the sweater. And I mean, by God, we get dressed for dinner and that MFR has the sweater on and he gets irritated with me for not sharing in all of those things. So I thought it was an interesting, because I'm on both sides of it. I'm a hypocrite on the issue. I want people to share my emotions with me, but I've also been a poo-pooer. Yeah, I think it, I just think human nature, you can't get up to the same level as everybody else. But speaking of the sweater forcing, you know, it's been 108 degrees here all summer, like legitimately 107, 108. And so the last few days it's been like in the eighties and I have been wanting to pull out my leggings and my pullovers. It's like 82 degrees. It's still fucking hot. Angie, do not, you don't need to get your long sleeves out. I mean, it's ridiculous, but I'm so starved for something like long sleeves because it's just fucking ridiculous. So I kind of have been Josh this last week. I get it. You want to force it? I want to force a little sweater. I want to force a legging. Just a little pullover to the gym. And it's like, you walk out, I walked out, I did it. I threw on my like sweater over my clothes and I walked out and I thought, girl, it's just not time yet. Do you know, to be a C-U-N-T real quick. Yeah. 55 degrees on my morning walk to work to the studio this morning. Oh my God. 55 degrees is my sweet spot. I love 55 degrees. I even pulled out a little trend. I pulled out a little trench coat on the walk. You've already pulled out your trench coat. Pulled out a trench. I looked, I looked at the weather, said 55 degrees and I thought, you know, why not just throw on a little lightweight trench and just walk to the studio. That's like a knife through the heart. And you know, that's perfect French bulldog weather too. Something that we haven't spoken about really that much at all is the climate change of it all. That we heard the Republican party. For years and years and years, it's a hoax, hoax, hoax, hoax, hoax. And then like, just think about in Oklahoma where we both grew up. I remember by mid-September going back to school, I could wear a thin sweater like I'm wearing right now because it had dropped about kind of what it is in New York right now. That's gone. Gone. Europe had its, every year is warmer than the year before. And this is what makes me so mad. And this is going way back into grievances. Gore was an environmentalist, like way ahead of his time when nobody was really even thinking about that. He made that documentary, which was so brilliantly named Inconvenient Truth. And the Republican party with the rigging of the Supreme Court stole that election from us. And the Democrats just still kept going, didn't do anything about the Supreme Court after that. And it's like, I just, I've had it with the Democrats not really fighting back in the past. And this goes way, way, way, way, way back before Donald Trump. But a little hopium in all of that is that I read an article that said that the people that look at polling and voter turnout and really, really study this are projecting a turnout larger than that of the post-Watergate scandal, which, and so that turnout has got to be something that number one is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number two is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number three is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number four is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number five is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number six is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number seven is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number eight is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number nine is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 10 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 11 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 12 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 13 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 14 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 15 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 16 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 17 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 18 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 19 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 20 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 21 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 22 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 23 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 24 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 25 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 26 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 27 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 28 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 29 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 30 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 31 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 32 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 33 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 34 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 35 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 36 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 37 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 38 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 39 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 40 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. And number 41 is like, oh, we're going to have to do this again. So she's been liberated from the sock bullying. Yeah. Yeah. She's got it on the front of it. Kylie, did we get any clarification if I'm too old to wear ruffle socks? No, I actually had one Gatriot say he really wants to see you in the ones with the lace. He likes that little detail. Because I found a really cute pair, but I wanted to get the feedback before I strutted out in them. I also want to say it was clean reports on STDs across the board. Really? So I'm the only one? Yeah, I think Gen Z got the safe sex. It was a lot more evolved. The safe sex stuff was more a part of the sex ed than in the 80s. They were all going to get checked. They're wrapping it before they tap it. Are there any others we can see? I'm kind of obsessed with this. Here's the issue. They sent it to me in a way that does not allow me to screen record or save. So this was one of the few I could actually get my hands on. Oh, Gen Z. See, they know how to do this shit, huh? I wouldn't know how to send something in a way that you could screen record or not screen record. I'm asking them for advice on socks. Somebody sent me a text the other day. Hey, my friend is launching blah, blah, blah. She wants to know if she can sit down with you and talk about the I've had it social media strategy and if you could shed some light on what you did there. And I just responded, I hired a millennial. That's it. That's the strategy. That's the only thing that I did on that. I absolutely know. No. Nothing else other than that regarding social media. And I'm terrible at it. But I mean, I give it a, you know, a good college try. But I love her and pumps. I do. I think we should go buy ruffled socks. Yeah. And you know what? Fuck it. Let's get penny loafers and put pennies in them like we did. I remember in seventh grade, I had penny loafers. Loved. Loved my penny loafers. I mean, I loved that. I think that would be very cool to do right now. I do too. We need to get Gen Z. Listen, first and foremost, thank all. I want to thank everybody. For your transmissions, your transparency about your STDs, which pumps again as a crab survivor. She really set the tone for the listener to be engaged in a shame-free space, to openly talk about STDs and surviving them, surviving STDs. And, you know, and then throwing in your sign, your birthdays, all of that. But the sock liberation movement is absolutely incredible. And I think what we need to add to that, Gen Z. And I want y'all to start doing this on your TikToks and on your Instagram, since you know exactly how to make these types of things. Put the pennies inside the penny loafer. It's such a cool trick. We put the pennies in the penny loafer because there's a little slit. And then you put the penny inside it. And I want to see this catch on. Are we able? Do you think we have that? Kylie, do you think we could start that here? I think we can. Start a movement. Everyone start sending me your penny in your penny loafers. Oh, my God. Is that happening? Yes. Yeah. What if nobody does it? It's like the I've had it effect. Crash and burn. I think movements with the pennies and penny loafers. I mean, I think we can start a movement here. I imagine. Leadership starts at the top. It does. I think this is probably the first time a lot of them have heard of a penny loafer. Had you ever heard of it? I have heard of it. Did you know that people put pennies in them? I think that my father did this when I was young. Yeah. Oh. It's a big thing. Yeah. Yeah. That would make sense. Do you remember this, Pumps? This is something that the kids don't know about. All of our Gen Z, our STD free Gen Zs. Which I'm so proud. Sock liberators. So as we're in the 80s, we're just living our lives, right? And there's like this Coke and Pepsi battle. And they had these like battle commercials. And it was like, what's better, Coke or Pepsi? And we didn't have phones. So commercials were a huge part of pop culture. And everybody like was pretty much where we lived. It was kind of ended up being regional wars. But in the South where we lived, it was Coke. Yeah. And Dr. Pepper was under the Coke umbrella and kind of based in Texas. And so like I remember I was a Dr. Pepper person, but I linked Coke. And then all of a sudden, out of the clear blue sky, out of nowhere, right around the time Michael Jackson's hair caught on fire. Yeah. Coke rolls out this commercial. That they've changed the formula. And it's new Coke. Yeah. And they're like, it's like Coke, but here's the new Coke. And they roll out this thing. And I remember watching TV going, they changed Coke. And remind Gen Z, millennials, commercials and MTV, that's it. That's a lip. Other than that, we were outside and we were feral human beings whose parents didn't give a fuck where we were, who we were talking to, what we were doing, period. We were just completely feral human beings. And so this was like a big thing. So I get to 7-Eleven and I taste the new Coke and it's terrible. Terrible. It's terrible. And again, we don't have an online town square where you can go and talk about this. You're just talking about it in your friend groups or a local journalist is out and man on the street. It's like, what do you think of the new Coke? And then you're getting it from your TV, which by the way, didn't have a remote control. It was like a piece of furniture when you had to get up, kind of turn it later. Like in high school, I think we had remote controls. But anyway, so then everybody. Then everybody's just in an uproar about the Coke changing its flavor. And then they launch Coca-Cola Classic. Yeah. And they take it back. So my question is, is the new Coke still on the market? I was just thinking that when you asked. I think it's not. I think it was such an abysmal failure that it wasn't. I think they pulled it pretty quick. I mean, they were side by side for a little bit and then it just went away with very little fanfare, if I'm remembering correctly. Because it was bad. It's the equivalent of like Chipotle saying, we're changing our menu. Right. We're a Chinese restaurant. It was that crazy. That's how it felt. It was just like, we were all like, what the fuck? And then you tasted the new Coke and it had a new, it had a logo and it said new Coke. And I remember everybody was in an uproar about it. And this, don't you feel like this was around the time Michael Jackson's head caught on fire? Yeah. It was definitely that age group. Yeah. Because I was older than you. And I think that was like. Do you remember when Michael Jackson hung blanket out the window in Germany? Yes. That's kind of weird shit, wasn't it? That's weird shit. And then I found out blanket's real name is Prince Michael again. So he's got two Prince Michaels. Kind of like George Foreman has like eight boys named George Foreman. I mean, in Michael's defense in that, my kids have a million nicknames. No, but I'm just saying like, I didn't. I've never heard of people naming their kids the same. Like I barely can name my kids. I mean, I call them the same name all the time. But just like if I had three Emily's, that's even more confusing trying to get somebody. Oh, I see what you mean. Right. Like, I mean, we've got Prince Michael, Prince Michael. It's like, how do you differentiate which one you're talking about? Well, you call one blanket. That's what you call one blanket. Yeah. So you just say here, this could get really confusing. So your blanket. You're just gonna be blanket. Yeah. All right. So Kylie, thank you for the Gen Z stuff. I really like the Gen Z and I'm happy about her journey and her sharing her sock journey. And I want more Gen Z's to share their sock journey and send us videos of your socks, putting pennies in your penny loafers and putting them on, putting on TikTok and starting a movement. I'm going to get some of those socks. I know they're so cute. I loved them. I used to wear it. My mother would sew little dresses. For me, we would go to TGNY and we would look at the patterns, you know, and we would pick the fabric and she'd get the pattern and she would sew a dress for me and I would wear the little lace socks. Very impressed she can make a dress. That's impressive. I know. She was really good at that. And you know what's so funny about Linda is she's so progressive and she's so not that, like, she's so not a home ec type. Like, she never really cooked a meal for us ever. I remember I had a boyfriend and his parents were like Christian and like. My mom was a total homemaker, knew how to make, like, homemade casseroles and all this shit, right? So he's over at my house and my dad says, Linda, what are we going to do for dinner? And my mom was like, I don't know, Rick. And he's like, why don't you heat up one of those frozen pizzas? And she goes, Rick, I just really don't feel like cooking tonight. I thought nothing of it. I thought that was cooking. But Sean, like, busts out laughing. And he thinks we're all joking. And we weren't. Like, we were all dead serious. Like, mom's not going to cook tonight, a.k.a. heat up a pizza. But she could sew. And it was always something fun we would do. We would go and you would look at the pattern books and pick out a little dress. And then I would go pick the fabric. And then she would whip out a sewing machine and she would sew it. That's very impressive. I mean, when I was really little, we would do that. It was really fun. Then I got, I think she was over it at that point. And then I wanted to. It was fun for a while, but you don't want to live there. Speaking of which, I am reading a book about travel. It's a fiction book, but it's like the super trad wife influencer. Like, she's all in on being a full-time trad wife influencer. Then she gets dropped into a trad wife situation. So more to come. Because I love it. I hate this woman so much in this book. But, yeah, I mean, the trad wife thing, I'm super dying to finish this book and see what happens to her. Okay. I've got a story here. Dog owners have started a new contest. of support group let's pop this up welcome to dog Dogs Anonymous, the online support group for pet owners on the brink, in quotes. This is a place where you can come and say, I fucking hate my dog today. A Dogs Anonymous co-founder tells Wired. And there are people who are going to be like, yeah, that was me last Tuesday. And so here is a screen grab from the article. Just past 6 p.m. on a recent Wednesday night, half a dozen pet owners logged into a Zoom meeting to confess something they're afraid to talk about in public. They're fed up with their dogs. Other attendees confessed their private shames. A shepherd mix had started engaging in more intense resource guarding when around other dogs. The term for when dogs aggressively protect something they value. He got into it with my sister's little wiener dog the other day because they both were begging for food. One woman who lives in a busy apartment complex needed advice on how to better handle her dachshund's constant barking at strangers. In the spirit of anonymity, Dogs Anonymous asked Wired to leave out the names and identifying characteristics of its participants. The founders say the effectiveness of the group doesn't necessarily stem from the advice they impact during meetings, but comes from members bonding over shared struggles. The magic of AA. I'm just going to say this. Okay. It is a false equivalency to equate the struggles. And those who love addicts and those who love addicts and that 12-step program with daily irritations of being a pet owner. Now, listen, I think it's 100% valid. Like, I've talked to you about my dog, you know, got oral warts from probably licking somebody's private parts out on the streets in New York. And I'd had it with him and I was pissed off. That problem is nowhere near the. Depths and all of the things that addicts go through. However, I don't want to be a poo-pooer here because I do believe in connectedness and sharing grievances, which is what this podcast is. And I do think sometimes dogs can be twats. For example, Miss Cha-Cha and the German Shepherd situation is getting worse. Really? Not better. Josh was here over the weekend. I see it blocked down. I see this gorgeous. Gorgeous German Shepherd. And I can tell this is a smart one that probably went to one of those schools, you know, like he was really pretty and you could just see that this dog was smart. Immediately locked on Cha-Cha. Cha-Cha immediately locks in on him. I have to get the leash and like get it down because we can pass a wiener dog. We can pass, you know, a doodle, any of the doodles, any type of doodle she could give two shits. But German Shepherds, for some reason, personally, I think it goes back to World War II. But she has had it. And we start to cross and she is. I mean, I have her, but she wants to go attack the German Shepherd. Total twat behavior. Would love to tell the people in the group about this. But by no means is that anywhere near the depths of hell that I went through in loving my husband and doing interventions to get him sober or in loving you and the intervention we did to get you sober. It's just not even in the same ballpark. To bring AA into this is my only rub on that. Yeah. And I would have appreciated them saying, like, here's the thing that I like about AA so much is that you don't feel alone. And then you can relate to. And I think sometimes you have such a hard. You think that your problems are so unique and I'm the only person that ever thought anything that stupid. And how could. The relating to and the like, okay, a lot of people have felt that. So I get that part of it. But I agree with you. They're not the same. And here's my thing. I fucking called you up and said I fucking hate her guts about my two-year-old daughter. So I have no shame in saying I fucking hate my kids. But, I mean, a lot of people do. But you were a safe space. I probably wouldn't have done that with every person. But I just think you have to vent. And let me just tell you what fucking made me. Just goes all through me about Oliver, who we all know is my favorite child. Even though he's universally unpopular. He's unpopular with everyone else. And naughty AF. He's naughty. Yeah, he's really bad. He's just. He's good to me. He's a bad boy. Okay, so he is obsessed with dogs on TV. Okay. When he stayed with me. It's unbelievable how much he watches TV. It's unbelievable. So I didn't even know this. And I don't even know why this is. But, like, my screensaver on my TV when I pause a video or something is Snoopy. Which I don't know why. It just is. So I'm in there. I'm brushing my teeth. And he is going fucking crazy. And it's Snoopy. I'm just like, I cannot catch a break. And, you know, I love to watch British shows. I started a new one last night. I was super excited. There's all these dogs in British shows. I couldn't watch it because he got. He goes bananas. He gets Tilly going. It's just like, fuck it. I'll watch something else. So I say bitch about your dogs. If you're not bitching about your kids and dogs, something's up. Something's not right. Or your spouse. Or your spouse. No, that's just life. I think we need to normalize bitching about the stuff that we love. And it doesn't mean not loving them. I think that there's this projection that everything that is love is perfect. Love is messy. Yeah. Taking care of other human beings is messy. The sharing is messy. Friendships are messy. Relationships are messy. Parenthood is messy. Dog ownership is messy. You know, you get home from work and your dog's chewed up some shoe. You know, you spend a lot of time with your dog. You know, you spend a lot of money on. Yeah. Nobody likes that. Ain't nobody got time for that. Oh, my God. Let me ask you this. I want to get back to this AA thing because I want to ask you this. So back when I was younger and my kids were, I mean, a toddler and a baby. And Josh, I was really beside myself. You know, I just, I could not wrap, my parents weren't drinkers. I couldn't wrap my head around the disease of addiction. I personalized it. I felt like when he did a drug that that was personally, he made a personal choice. I love this more than I do Jennifer and my kids. That's how I absorbed it. That's how I felt it. And it leveled me. It wrecked me to my core. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I was heartbroken beyond anything. And I was struggling with this idea that love was hurting me so much. That loving him was so painful. So I went to an Al-Anon meeting and I got an Al-Anon sponsor. And in these meetings, I was not a good candidate for it at all because it was, I remember I walked into this meeting and I shared something and I was, I was, I didn't have a problem sharing. I wanted to share where I was and I wanted, I was willing to try anything or do anything. And then it was another lady's turn. And in the, in the AA book, they call it a woman's turn. They call it higher power instead of God. Most of the time, sometimes there's references to God, but they call it higher power. And this lady says, and this is in Oklahoma city. She goes, you can call it higher power all you want to. But for me, it's the blood of Jesus Christ all over me. And I was just like, I have zero, zero in common with this person. Zero, like nothing. And then with my Al-Anon sponsor, she was. And I really tried. I was willing to do anything. The solution for everything was just pray about it. Just pray about it. Just pray about it. I don't pray. Like I was raised by atheists. That is not a part of my daily life. I'm like, you know, I've tried it before and I'm like, Hey, you there? Can you really hear me? What I'm saying in my brain? Like it doesn't compute that that's a real thing for me. And I know that's weird for all of you that were raised with that. And as children that you did that. And you, you think somebody can hear your thoughts for a person that's not indoctrinated. And that's a really weird concept because for me, my thoughts are my own. I, I manage them. I have autonomy and agency over them. That is, that is my private space. Um, which is not just that I'm not trying to knock prayer here. It was just weird for me to think that I have all of these problems. Then I could just talk to somebody in my head. They hear it and that was going to help it. So, you know, obviously got out. of Al-Anon and went to one-on-one therapy, which was more analytical and it was more feedback oriented. And no knock on anybody who has found peace or serenity in Alcoholics Anonymous or Al-Anon. Likewise for Josh. Josh relapsed several times when we were younger, which relapse is a huge part of addiction. But a lot of it was because the only solution that was served up to him was Alcoholics Anonymous. And he's an atheist, raised by an atheist as well, which is probably why we're the only two in Oklahoma. That's why we found each other are bred and are here together today, because there's not that many atheists in Oklahoma. But he found the same thing. Like he would go to these meetings of God, prayer, God, prayer, higher power, fix this, let go, let God, blah, blah. And it's really difficult if you're not in that. So I started researching AA and Al-Anon. Well, it turns out the founders are huge evangelicals. And so that's why it's peppered like that. Furthermore, it has an abysmal, abysmal success rate, 7%. And I think this is such a horrible thing that happens to addicts, is that this is the one way that you can get sober. And it has a 7% success rate. Imagine if the doctor said, you have cancer and you have a 7% chance to live. That is abysmal. But when people go into. Big Rehab, which is a multi-billion dollar industry, they are told these are the only ways you can stay sober. And I say all of this because every time we talk about addiction, and Josh and I are very open about our journey with this, because I want to help others, because I know how painful it is, that like everything, there's not a one-size-fits-all type situation with this stuff. And so just kind of like the socks, you know, maybe you're a no-show. Maybe you're a lace frill. Maybe you change intermittently between the two. But when it comes to addiction, and I know that a lot of you are probably zeroed in right now, because when Josh was at his worst, my ears and antennas were open to anything that I could absorb and understand, because I needed to understand the science behind it. Right. I needed to understand that when I told you, listener, that I personally felt that Josh chose the drug, the OxyContin. Or the drink that he said, I like this more than I like Jennifer, Dylan, and Roman. What I learned through therapy and talking to people who understand addiction, addiction sits in the fight or flight reflex of the brain. It's called the hypothalamus. So it is a survival instinct. And when the addict's brain chemistry is off kilter, they're looking for survival. And because the only, that addiction, that addict gene sits in. So for them, drinking or taking a drug means I am surviving. I am going to live right now. And that was really, I mean, it took me, I heard that mentally. My heart didn't accept that for many, many, many years, because it takes a long time to really understand it. But to anybody on here, if AA works for you, love it for you. I think it's fabulous. But if it doesn't, there are so many other ways. And Josh has found, you know, one-on-one therapy and connecting even with friends. That aren't necessarily in the program, but are privy to what addiction is and just owning it and talking about it openly without shame. And I'm sorry, all of this triggered all of that, but I think it's really important stuff because I suspect that Donald Trump has drove up addiction rates. Oh, for sure. And he acts like an untreated addict. For me, it's just, I go to AA a couple of times a month just to kind of keep my foot in the door. It's not super gaudy, the one I go to, but it's all. It's old people that are very serious about the separation. If I went to a younger one, it probably would be. But my thing with addiction is the connection. You have to be connected and you have to make a conscious choice to do for other people. That's what I've found helps me the most is connecting with other people. And when I'm worried, when I'm doing something for someone else, I'm not thinking about me. Yeah. Addiction is a thinking about me all the time disease. You know what somebody told me, and I thought this was so true. Addiction is the most selfish disease on the planet. When they're using, it's all about them. And then the recovery is all about them. On both ends of it, it is a me first disease. And it's really true. So that's why I think, and that is in the steps, like the giving back. But I think that's really, really true for addicts, but also for me as well. When I am doing stuff for others. Not in my own head. That's a lesson. I feel better. Yeah, it feels good. It feels good. But I do think pumps, like think about all the family breakups, the divorces, the parents not talking to children, children not talking to parents that have come from Trump. Yeah. And I bet at some point somebody will do an addiction analysis on this thing. And I bet he has drove up, driven up addiction rates. Well, yeah, because it's uncertainty. Am I going to be? I mean, people are going. People are going broke in droves. People can't afford food. They can't afford housing. There's just no way around it because all the environmental factors that they are. Plus, he's a fucking nutball. Are we going to go to war? Are we going to have a draft? Like all this crazy shit. No, it's true. It's really stressful stuff. I mean, we use this podcast. I mean, we all want to get down here and laugh. But sometimes I think, I know that everybody listening loves somebody that's an addict, has struggled from addiction. Or is one. Yeah. And so I think we have to sometimes talk about these things. And I appreciate the dog support group. I really do. I would be a member of one. But I would never equate having the normal frustrations with dogs to, you know, other things. That was my only pushback on that. But I do love some of the parts of it about, you know, the wiener dogs and stuff like that. I think are quite hilarious. And just dog culture in particular is hilarious. Dog park culture. Like here's just a, I'll leave you all with this grievance. I've had it. With people that take their dog to a dog park. And take a ball for their dog. Why would they even do that? They want to play fetch inside the gates of the dog park with their specific dog and that specific ball. And that is just a bad plan from start to finish. And it causes a lot of fighting and strife. I was going to say, it causes fighting. You should know that. Yeah. And then I didn't bring a dog. And then I didn't bring a ball. So then my dogs are looking at me like I'm the asshole owner. And I'm looking at that person like, well, thanks a lot. Right. You're making us all look bad. You're like the mom that showed up with the homemade cookies when I went to Target and bought a box of Oreos. Exactly. You know, remember those moms? Which I've been to more than once. Oh, me too. I'm like cookies today. I'm like, oh, here we go. Here's some chips. Ahoy. Take those to class. Yeah. And then there's some mom that's got, you guys, they will bring like four Tupperware containers. Yeah. Nut free, dairy free. And I'm just like, what just happened? I thought we were supposed to bring, it's crazy. Yeah. Or the snack monitors. Well, you know what? You can't bring a snack with this and so-and-so brought this. It's just like, we want to do healthy snacks. Like, shut the fuck up. Don't tell your kid not to eat it. But you know, with all the sex changes going on at school. Right. It's amazing they have time to monitor the snacks. All right. That's all we have. Make sure you are subscribed to this podcast. Make sure you are subscribed to iHip News. Make sure you pre-order my book and we will see you all later. Thank you.