279: Misleading Titles..

This episode is brought to you by Credit Karma. When it comes to your money, Credit Karma keeps you ahead of the game. You can count on Credit Karma to keep up with your financial needs as they evolve. They'll help you monitor your progress and give personalized recommendations so you can make strides towards your goals and find your way to money. Make sure you're on the right track, no matter where you are on your financial journey. Intuit Credit Karma, karma you can count on. This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on Marketplace and there it was, the bike you'd been searching for. You sent a message and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist. The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew. Well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for. From a browse to a bike ride, this summer, find more on Facebook. I was literally like, out when that woman was like, you know, two hot takes is the reason I downloaded Reddit. And I was like, what? Awesome. It was at my laser hair appointment and she was doing my bikini. She was like, what do you have planned for today? And I was like, oh, you know, recording my friend's podcast, going to the Odyssey. She was like, oh, what podcast? I was like, two hot takes? No. And she was like, oh my God, that's the reason. And by the way, at this point. No. And then after that humiliation ritual, I have to flip over, lift my butt cheek. She goes inside there. It's so funny you tell this story because I was getting a European wax and literally as she's about to pull a strip right on my bikini line, she goes, you look really familiar. Yeah. And I lost it. She's like, I know you from somewhere. And I was like, uh-huh. And I'm like, my palms are sweaty. Right. I'm just like, anticipating every pull of the wax. She's like, yeah. Have I seen you on TikTok? She knows you much better now. Oh, man. What an opening. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. I'm joined by. Mikayla. Mikayla's back. Brr, brr, brr, brr. Yay. Hey. How you been? Awesome. It's summer. The people have missed you. It's so summer. The vibe is great today, I have to say. It's so summer. It's so summer. It's so summer. Yeah. I've really been just having a good time. Mm-hmm. Really just out and about, you know, seeing the world. It's a little hot. Yeah. If I can make one complaint. It's a tiny bit hot. Yes. And I just came back from Minnesota, basically yesterday, and now experiencing wildfires. So sending. In Minnesota? A lot of love and prayers. Yeah. The boundary waters. And now the smoke is. It's so bad. It's literally, like, affecting everyone towards the East Coast, too. Like, even in New York. I was seeing that, I think. Yeah, one of my friends in New York posted a story about that. Yeah. It's really sad. We just got to get climate change and our forest management, and hopefully we can figure it out, because the fires every summer are starting to be a really big issue. Yeah. So sending lots of love to everyone in Minnesota and those fighting these fires. I think I saw there was, like, only six or seven park rangers evacuating, like, all of these campsites in the boundary waters, and there's, like, millions of acres. There's a lot of wildfires, technically, and it's just, like. Does it happen a lot in Minnesota, or is that a more rare. It hasn't really happened in the boundary waters, but Canada gets a lot of wildfires in the summer. And then all the smoke goes down. Comes to good old Minnesota. Yeah. So it's a thing, but, you know, climate change, it's just, like, it's just out there, man. But here we go. Mikayla is back, and I've got a really fun theme today. I have no idea. Yeah, this is, like, the first time in forever that I've shown up and not. Known what the theme was already, I feel like. I know. We usually talk about them before a little bit. This is super exciting for me, because this is the first theme in the entire history of the show that I have not put together. Oh, my God. A moment for that. I'm, like, I don't know how to feel about it. I don't know what to expect. I'm actually. You're letting go a little bit of control. Oh, yeah. Is that what that is? Of micromanaging every aspect. Not even micro. It's just, like, it's been, like. It's been just me. Yeah. And now we have a new friend, a new producer named Bailey. Yay! Bailey, do you want to come say hi? Just saying a little. A little. Hi. Hi. Bailey, I think, is, like, probably going to be a familiar name, maybe face for some of you out there, but she had a little roundabout way of getting here, but she's our new producer. Love it. I'm so excited. I love it. I'm, like, this is what. Anything, you know. help feels like. This is what a team is. It's. That's what growing is. I know. Beautiful. You know, it's really exciting. So, the theme today that Bailey put together is basically don't judge a book by its cover. Ooh. So, these are stories where the title is very misleading. Okay. Like, the title doesn't really equate to what the story really is about. I love. that. I love that, Bailey. It's going to be a good one. So without further ado, let's dive in. This first one, this is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole? For calling out my girlfriend over her cat obsession. I'm not kidding. My 36 male girlfriend, 35 female is obsessed. with her cat, 10 male, if you're interested. Dating for three years, living together for two. Since the pandemic, I've been home a lot more and I've realized just how cat crazy my girlfriend really is. They do everything together. She doesn't need an alarm because he wakes her up at 7.30 every day by sitting on her chest and gently nudging her face with his nose. He eats his breakfast while she eats hers. If we're watching TV, he's in her lap. If she's working at her desk, he's in her chair with her or chilling nearby. If he acts even a little weird, like hiding in the closet, which I guess he normally doesn't do, she's on the phone to the vet. She even takes him for walks with a little harness that I used to think was kind of cute until I realized it just meant her obsession would not just be limited to anything. Inside the house. Don't get me wrong, I like the cat. He's a chill cat, doesn't mess stuff up around the house, very friendly and clean, but sometimes I would like to have my girlfriend to myself. I've tried closing the bedroom door at night, but the little Houdini got in somehow and I woke up to him smiling at me smugly from atop my girlfriend's tits. Smugly. Anytime I mention toning it down with the cat, she gets all hurt and makes excuses like how she's having a hard time. I've had him since he was a kitten, and they've been through a lot together. She's even gone as far as to say he was her lifeline during a period of major depression in her late 20s. Every time I back down and I say, okay, I get it, he's family. The final straw came when we were talking about relocating together to another country. She wants to limit our search to countries that don't make pets fly under the plane, ruling out a ton of good countries. I finally stood up to her. I told her, pets fly under planes all the time and it's perfectly safe. I told her she was limiting our options for her own anxiety, not the cat's safety. He wouldn't be any safer purring at her feet while she pets him the entire flight. She tried to argue that he's a senior pet, but I didn't back down. What the fuck? He's 10. I showed her tons of airline literature about cats and cats. I told her, pets fly under planes all the time, and it's perfectly safe. She tried to argue that physical safety isn't the same as psychological safety, and that she thinks it'd be too traumatizing for the cat to go under the plane. Here's where I might be the asshole. I gave her a list of my top countries, all of which would require the cat to go under the plane. I told her that I wanted a future with her, but that I thought she needed to get serious help for her obsession with the cat. And to let me know when slash if she decided to get that help so we could move forward with our lives. The ball's in her court. I've been staying with a buddy, but it's been about a week, and she hasn't called, so I'm starting to wonder if I should have helped her find a therapist before I left. Am I the asshole? Okay, from the very first thing that he listed, it was the most normal thing I've ever heard of him. Every single morning, he wakes her up by sitting on her. Right, right, absolutely. Absolutely. I think that that's pretty typical. This is the most cat cat I've ever heard. I know. Actually, he sounds like an angel of a cat. He's like, this is so codependent. Like, he sits on her sometimes. Yeah, sounds true. What was that line here, though? I woke up to him smiling at me smugly from atop my girlfriend's tits. Right. That kind of gave a little bit more insight into his whole, you know, headcanon about the cat relationship. He's jealous of a cat. He's so jealous. He's like, this cat's getting way more attention than me. Right. Which it's like, maybe there's a world in which there's a, you know, normal jealousy. I just I'm not seeing it. This sounds like a very normal relationship. Also, him saying she even went as far as to say the cat got her through a hard time in her life. I'm sure he did. That's very normal. I know many friends who are like, yeah, my pet was with me through this really hard time in my life. And it gave me something to wake up. And to like go outside to take them on walks or like have to take care of somebody else and feed them every day. Gave me a reason. You know, that's a very normal. All of these things. Very normal. Normal. Obsessed with cats. Just loves her cat. Loves her cat. Like any pet owner does. Right. Takes care of their health. Yeah. As a pet owner should. Oh, my cat is acting weird. Let me call the vet and check in. Cats can like have crazy stuff where like cats. I just saw a video from someone who got a new Ikea pack. Like closet system in their room and their cat had such a meltdown. It developed stones in its kidneys or urethra or whatever the cat does. They're small animals. And because it was so upset about the pack's closet system, this cat had to go to the vet. And now it's on a special food. Right. Cats are sensitive. And if you don't catch stuff early, then it's like really bad for them. So she sounds like a really good pet mom, like cat mom. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. He very much clearly only picks places that will specifically. And he's also like, there would be no physical harm. She's saying it would be a mental thing. Like, yes. Yes, absolutely. There would be a mental thing. That to me is so absurd to be like, psychological harm to the cat. Doesn't matter. Physically. Yeah. He'll still be fine. Like a lot of times, psychological trauma can be worse than physical. Yeah. And also, I mean, I've never seen a cat go. Under the plane, to be honest, because they're always so small. They can fly under the seat. So I feel like he's probably picking countries that the cat has to go under the plane. Absolutely. So that it can then go directly into quarantine, because I think there's places like even. People, if you've done this, please let me know. But I think like Hawaii, you need to quarantine your dog for 30 days when you bring your dog there. Oh, interesting. Like people move from the States, like mainland. To Hawaii. Right. And I think there's like, there definitely are places where you have to quarantine your animal. So I'm like, maybe that's why. My concern with this guy would also be like, you have children with him. He seems like the type to be jealous about something else getting more love or attention than him. And so a baby is going to require quite a bit of attention from its mother. And we've had that on this podcast before. Yeah. We've had those stories where it's like, my husband's acting weird ever since we've had our baby. He says I'm not paying attention to him enough. Yeah. This is sort of the red flag of all red flags to signal that that would be the case. Yeah. Well, I've had a case on clues before, too. And it was the case on Gail Katz Bierenbaum. And her husband was so jealous of her cat that he tried to harm it. And she ended up being like, I'm so scared for my cat. The only thing I can do is like. Bring it to the shelter so it gets saved. Because otherwise he's going to literally take my cat off this earth. What personality disorder is that? He definitely had one because, I mean, it was covered on the True Crime podcast. That has to be a specific one, right? Of like being so jealous of your partner giving attention to anything else. He did have a psychologist that he worked with. And the psychologist said, like, he's definitely a sociopath. Yeah. And like, I forget exactly what he was. But the psychologist was so scared of him that the psychologist, like, wrote Gail a letter being like, if anything happens to you, it is not my fault because I've told you to leave. Oh, my God. Like, the psychologist was terrified of him. Yeah. So definitely an intense one. But like, that's almost the energy he's giving where it's like, I'm jealous of this cat. She's doing normal things. But like, he's not even reading them that way. And the fact that he's like, when you're ready to figure yourself out, and get the therapy that you so clearly need, then call me, babe. I know. He's like, she has the most severe issue of cat obsession that anyone has probably ever seen. And if she does not get into therapy immediately, God only knows what could happen next. I mean, based on the title, Am I the Asshole for Calling Out My Girlfriend Over Her Cat Obsession, I'm envisioning a house where every wall is covered with cat pictures. There's cat figurines. Yes. There's cat books. Blankets. Yeah. There's a clock that meows instead of cuckoos. She won't go to dinner. She won't go to breakfast. She won't leave the house. Absolutely not what's happening here. The cat sits on her lap. She likes to sometimes put its harness on and take it for a walk. I used to think it was cute. Then I found out that the cat obsession isn't limited to the four walls of our home. Right. Also, the part where he's like, the 7 a.m. wake-up call, which I was going to say, again, like, that's generous because every cat I've had is like a 5 a.m. eater. But the fact where he's like, he eats his breakfast while she eats hers. So she probably walked into the kitchen. What is going on between these two? They eat breakfast at the same time. It's almost like he's envisioning this as like their Lady the Tramping it together, where they're like sharing their food together and intimately watching each other. He's like on the couch, pissed off as fuck, watching them eat at the same time, like shaking his head. Like these two can't do anything by themselves. Dude. All right. Let's get into the comments on this one. So this post is now five years old. Oh. None of the comments have any upvotes. So post. Is that a glitch? I think they locked it. Oh, okay. And for some reason, just not, you know, whatever. It's also sorted by random comments. Okay. And that is locked. It's a feature I can't change. So like contest mode has been enabled. So comments are in random ordering and vote scores are hidden to non-mods. I've never heard of this. And it just stays on contest mode until. Contest mode. The mods change it. I can't turn it off contest mode. So I can't see upvotes and I can't rearrange to top comment, which I've never seen this on a Reddit post in all my years. Bailey's like, I've never seen it. I see her shaking her head over there. What sub is this? Am I the asshole? What the hell? I know. Am I the asshole, mods? What's going on? Yeah. So. The first comment I see, not the top. Right. Neither of you are assholes. You're just realizing what it means to be a pet owner. And it's different for each of you. She's entitled to be obsessed with her cat. You're entitled to be frustrated by that. No one's an asshole, but you may be incompatible. I mean, I do think they're incompatible, but he is being an asshole in my humble opinion. He's also kind of stonewalling her where it's like, you are so deranged. Right. That I can't even live with you anymore. Figure your shit out. I have to go. I have to go stay with a friend. Yeah. I just have to get out of this house and away from you and your cat. Yeah. Who eat at the same time. Your unhealthy relationship with your cat. And so it's like, you're almost stonewalling her. Yeah. So no, I think you are being an asshole. Maybe a soft asshole. And he's basing their life plans around causing the cat to suffer. He's literally like, I don't care where we go as long as it's somewhere that will get that cat under the air. Oh, crap. Oh, my God. So Opie does respond to that. Thank you. Looks like there are a lot of other cat crazed people on this sub. Well, I don't think we're incompatible, but I do think she needs to find a better balance prioritizing things. I'm fine with her loving her cat, but I don't want the cat to hold her back. Okay. He's very magnanimous, actually. He's only worried about, you know, the cat holding her back. From some of these countries, I guess. Someone responds to him and goes, we're not even cat crazed. We just don't treat our animals like shit. Yeah, I think his cat or his cat, I think his comment about people being cat crazed implies that the most people were replying that he was being an asshole and she was being normal about the cat. I would say there is like another comment in response to him that says, you mean you want her to prioritize you over the cat? Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. And OP responds, I mean, it'd be nice if what I wanted for us ranked on the list rather than getting dismissed because it might make the cat a little uncomfortable. I'm just looking for a compromise on her end. A compromise in which none of the countries on my list have what your countries have. Mm hmm. Right. OP does clarify, I didn't pick countries specifically because they wouldn't allow the cat to be on the plane. I just thought about where I want to go. And it turned out that all of those countries have strict policies about pet immigration okay sure someone was like basically you're not compromising though pointing out kind of his hypocrisy in it and he just gets into the cargo policies and like fighting people about like these airlines and someone's like did you even call the airlines and ask for more details on this and he's like i did call the airline about their pet safe flying program and it sounded great okay so he didn't choose these places on purpose but he has a very detailed knowledge of all of their cargo policies and called the airlines about them that's what i'm saying but it's just a it just happened that way coincidentally totally random no chance there is another comment here where someone says she isn't obsessed with her cat that is called having a pet have you ever had a pet before op you're the and you sound insecure and jealous of your girlfriend's cat op responds yeah actually two cats when i was growing up mostly outdoor as my mom was allergic and they got along just fine without special coddling just food in the garage and shots every couple of years lived to be 16 and 17 which is how i know 10 is not a senior pet i'm not insecure i just don't want my girlfriend limiting our happiness for the temporary comfort of a cat all right all right dude i'm literally googling when does a cat become a senior according to the internet 10 to 11 years of age is considered senior for cats what is what's cat years dog years is every seven right i don't know what a cat i never even thought about that i've never in a conversion right what is the conversion of dog years to cat years to human years did you know the math changes huh yeah mature mature or middle-aged for cats is 7 to 10 so she so this cat i don't know why i just assumed the cat's gender this cat is at the tail end of he's he is senior now he's become a senior yeah i mean he's he's transitioning yeah i think there's like a way that this story can just be he's super weird about this cat and then there's another side where he could be weird about any other cat and then there's another side where he could be weird about any other cat and then there's other personal relationships i think girlfriend has with anybody whether it's a future child a friend a sister a mom and like just gets weirdly bitter and jealous and mad about affection going anywhere other than him that's how i see it i think the point you bring up about kids is so important to keep in mind and i do think it would have became a reality but we do get an update oh update i get it i'm the asshole the hugest fucking a you've ever seen and possibly some kind of deviant who compares dicks with a cat 10 is a senior cat it's not perfectly safe for pets to fly under planes and my girl is not crazy for loving her cat i called her this morning and apologized she said she needs time to think at a kind person's suggestion i sent her a link to this my public shaming and now i'm going to hide under the bed in hopes that she notices my strange behavior and still cares enough to call the vet on me oh okay final update jesus fuck you guys she dumped me okay are you happy now yeah actually i am we're thrilled very happy for her and her cat i hope he is 15 and still out there just thriving right i mean that's a senior cat as hell now but probably safe at home and happy yeah my cat lived until she was like 17 18 whoa yeah and then she came back and actually haunted my mom for a while well in a good way or in a bad way so she always used to love going in the closet and like taking naps that was her like little her happy den in there and so when we had to let her go my mom was sleeping in her room and all of a sudden she heard a meow and woke up and she could see eyes glowing from the closet so the cat just kept coming back little sweetheart that is sweet yeah see haunting can be positive haunting doesn't always have to be bad no i do love that that guy was like oh guess i'm like the worst person ever and everyone fucking hates me and i'm bad and i'm stupid and you know whatever i guess i'm i'm literally satan i guess i compare my dick to a cat what that took me a second who says that yeah you are some kind of deviant to even think that little freak moving on to this next one this is coming from r slash relationship advice title how do i 24 male make it up to my neighbor 23 female for leaving her during a date i fully acknowledge that my behavior was wrong but to be honest i was incredibly drunk i recently moved into this new apartment complex and they have a small dog park for residents i take my dog there fairly often that's where i met my neighbor carla whenever i saw her at the dog park she made it clear that she was interested in me so i asked her out and i got her number fast forward to the date i'd planned on going to a bar and i got way too drunk beforehand initially things seemed to go well she even joked that she didn't expect to see the drunk me so soon and we made plans to meal prep together the next day this is where i messed up i saw this girl naya who was stunning and i got up to flirt with her i got her number wait on the date with carla okay i got her number and i lost track of time when i returned to the table naya was already texting me back and i was distracted by my phone carla was understandably upset and i realized that i was being rude and then it hit me sorry so being drunk i apologized and i told her that i didn't think things would work out and that we wouldn't be able to meal prep because i had just made plans to go to the bar and i was distracted by my phone and i was with naya and didn't feel a connection with her she accepted it asked for the check insisting on paying her share and she left she didn't give me a ride home which i understand even though we live in the same complex and she drove i had taken an uber there and got there early because i knew i was going to drink i feel terrible because even though it was just our first date and we weren't another woman during the date i was drunk and naya is just incredibly beautiful as much as it sucks everything happens for a reason and naya and i are now in a serious relationship and things are going great the only downside is that naya is scared of dogs but she's slowly getting used to mine now the issue is that carla is completely cold whenever i see her she also blocked me which i understand truthfully it would probably be disrespectful to naya to text carla and try to be friends naya is fine with my women friends as long as it's 100 platonic and i haven't dated them before but i would like to get to a point where carla and i can joke around and have our funny banter when we see each other at the dog park any advice on how to achieve that would be great hey what is your problem like what is your problem you got what you wanted that's one thing like the fact that this story happened the way it did yeah you were an asshole why do you need to have a relationship with carla why are you posting on reddit about this leave her alone leave her alone poor carla alone the worst that happened here is now one woman is cold to you you don't have to have you don't have to know her you don't have to be friends with her you have other women friends apparently you've got a girlfriend now why are you still so hung up on carla who the one time you went on a date with her you didn't pay any attention to her like what's going on what is your problem literally that i'm mad i don't understand what this is even about like are you that upset that one person doesn't like you are you that what is that insecure i don't know like can't handle having been an asshole in that situation so wants to rectify it that way the conscience is clear i really don't know i'm genuinely just very confused by his overall attitude and behavior and i'm kind of questioning like how did you get so drunk knowing you had a date yeah like i i think carla's like holy shit i dodged a bullet and i want nothing to do with this man because from the get-go this date was not going that well i'm surprised she agreed to meal prep with you because if i showed up to a first date with someone and they're already hammered yeah i would be like are you okay and sure this could happen if you have you know a randomly really strong drink or a low you haven't drank in a while you have a low time you're gonna drink a lot but that doesn't sound like the case he ubered they're planning to get very drunk uh-huh also i love that he just throws out you know even though we live at the same complex she drove and she could have just driven me driven me home but she didn't like yeah she wanted to be done with you she even paid for her share well i would have taken the free meal oh yeah after he literally left me at the table to go flirt with someone else in front of me then got back to the table and was texting her I honestly, like, I'm very, like, impressed that Carla even stuck around. Yeah. Maybe she didn't see it. Maybe he, like, was like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. And then found Naya on the way to the bathroom and, like, it was out of sight. I think she eventually, because I think that's why she blocked him and, like, is cold to him now. So I think, you know, maybe she was like, what is going on? And then is like, okay, bye, I'm leaving. I'm paying and going. Yeah. Because what did he say to? So being drunk, I apologized and told her that I didn't think things would work out. Right. That I didn't feel a connection with her. It's a first date. Yeah. You weren't even giving it a shot because you were flirting with someone else while you were on the date with her. Right. Which, listen, if you see your wife, you see your husband, you're on a date, you could subtly, you know, get a number, make a move. How do you even know? I don't know. I'm just saying, like, they're dating now. Sure. Maybe that's, maybe that's your wife. And this is the only chance you had to find her. Everything else is so unnecessary. Like texting her in front of her, spending all that time with her. Then like posting on Reddit is the craziest part to me. Like him actually being upset about this and posting about it on Reddit. I'm like, what is the fixation? Get over it. You didn't like this girl. Maybe he's one of those people that just wants what they can't have. I mean, maybe. Otherwise, like, I don't know. Why do you need to be able to joke with someone at the dog park? Right. Again, leave her alone. How long are you sitting in that? Dog park. He told her there's no connection as well. Also, none. That's what I was saying. I was like, you literally spent 30 minutes with her and you're hammered. There's also something very funny to me about like this being written. And he's like deep into the context of being in a relationship with Naya. Like she's cool with girlfriends. Like she like they are fully, you know. How long ago is this? Like how long have you been with Naya? I don't. I mean, and Carla. Now she's being cold. Now Carla's interesting. Now Carla's got a little something something to her. Now I'm trying to figure out about Carla. Yeah. Again, wants what he can't have. Grass is greener on that side of the fence now. Let's see these comments. So I've got them sorted by best. The one that's first with 1K upvotes. This has to be a joke, right? Leave the poor woman alone. You've been beyond rude and she doesn't want anything to do with you. Next comment down. No advice. You're an asshole. And being drunk just amplifies your asshole-ishness. Carla dodged a bullet and knows it. Naya will soon know it. You're not going to be too popular around that apartment. Someone else goes, this is a special kind of stupid. You suck. Own it and leave Carla alone. Right. It's like she is just being cold to him. It'd be one thing if she were spreading this around the entire apartment and now everyone's cold to him. And then he's like, how do I fix it? What do I do? Him just having this fixation on. And one person, he said he had no connection with being cold to him is like, what are you doing here? Get over it. I am beyond baffled. People really tear into him and they're like, Naya deserves better. I think maybe I don't know Naya. I don't know them. I don't know that woman. I don't know that man. I think like I get your point. Like if I bumped into someone and it was like you happen to be on a date. Right. I get getting someone's number, whatever. You're on a first date. You don't know that person. You're not committed. Cool. But it's the way he went back and was immediately texting her and then was like, yeah, this ain't going to work out. I'm not interested in you. Get through the date. It would still be nice. It's just still always rude. But it's like sometimes maybe I'm thinking it's worth being a little rude in this moment because I think I just met my soulmate. I don't know. But then you got to like, you know, let that relationship die. I'm like, at least get through the date. Yeah. Be cordial. And then, you know, get through the date together. Yeah. But someone goes, Naya. Naya deserves butter. And OP responds, I already give her the world. She would even tell you I am a great boyfriend. What? I know. I give her the world. He's actually responding to a lot of people. Account has been banned, but I'm on my little secret website that I can find old comments by. Apparently, he explains why he got so drunk. He got carried away because I didn't drink all of Lent. And it was the day after. After Lent. Okay. I mean, yeah, maybe schedule that date on a different day then. What is Lent? 40 days, right? How long? Hard to know. Unknowable. No one could ever know. What? Is it 46 days? That is pretty long. That's a month and a half without a drop. That's a dry January and a half. It is. So it explains why, you know, he did get so drunk. But like, again, use your brain. And your behavior now, like, shows me you're a weirdo. And I am not surprised that he's, like, responding to all of these comments. He's kind of got this Tinkerbell will die without attention type attitude. He's loving. He's loving this. I know. Even if it's negative. Well, and he really is trying to defend his honor because someone here says, if I was Carla, I would tell Naya that OP hit on her when she was on a date with her. OP is not trustworthy and is most likely going to cheat on Naya in the future. And OP's like, I've never cheated on anyone in any relationship that I've been in. Naya and I are doing fantastic. And it's unfair to judge my character because of one thing that happened a long time ago. If you and Naya are doing fantastic, you're incredible. Then get off here. Get over this. Get over it. OP, again, defending his honor. I'm not an alcoholic. I had Lent. Right. That's going in the headcanon. He cares so much because it would make it less awkward. They see each other. They care a lot. Instead of just sitting in an awkward silence anytime our dogs are playing, it would be nice to get along. Did he say if he's tried just a genuine apology yet? I can't recall. Did he say, I've tried telling her I'm really sorry for being so rude. I'd like to be cordial. No comments about an apology. Maybe just give that one sentence a shot. I'd love that. We don't have an update on this one. So hopefully he figured it out. It's nine months old. Yeah. I'm sure he's doing great with Naya. If you're out there listening, here's a sentence for you. I am so sorry. That was incredibly rude of me. I understand why you don't like me, but I would love to feel cordial when we see each other at the dog park. Beautiful. Mikayla will let you steal that. Yeah, for free. For free. Okay. On to this next one for us. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. So this podcast is all about choices. Wild, messy. Wait. You did what? Choices. But for the choices that are actually straightforward, State Farm's got over 19,000 local agents, real humans, ready to help you. Like helping you save when you choose to bundle home and auto with the personal price plan. Bundling. Just another way to save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on ratings plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility vary by state. Okay, number three. Yes. Here we go. This is titled, Am I the Asshole for Feeling Bad That My Marriage Announcement Was Stolen? So for years now, I've been saying that I don't want a wedding because they are so stressful and expensive and have so many traditions rooted in outdated beliefs. My alternative plan is to take my partner and my best friend, who is a photographer, to somewhere like Yellowstone, National Park, or Redwoods, and get some really cool wedding photos, and then send out cards to everyone saying, quote, Surprise! I'm married! Come celebrate with us at a reception. Back in May, it's currently June, I was at my friend's college graduation party. Let's call her Sarah. And the topic of weddings came up. For context, the friend graduating is the same best friend who is a photographer. And a mutual friend, Brittany of ours, who we have both known for years, was also a part of the conversation. I told them about my idea to elope in the woods somewhere and surprise everyone with a reception, and Brittany thought that it was, quote, hilarious. Flash forward to today, and I opened Facebook to see a post from Brittany, saying, quote, Surprise! We're married! Thank you, Lord, for blessing me with such a kind, loving, and gentle man. Huge thanks to Sarah, for taking our pictures. P.S. We've been married for two months now. Hee hee. Oh. With a photo shoot that was done by Sarah. My first thought was, what the fuck? Because that is exactly what I wanted to do and have been saying to people for years. She not only stole my idea, but used the exact same photographer and even the words that I wanted to say. I texted Sarah, who I've been friends with for, like, 15 years, and I asked her about Brittany's situation. She said that she came up with the idea because she didn't want a big wedding and asked Sarah to take the pictures. I said, you know I've been talking about doing that exact thing for years and that I literally mentioned it with Brittany and Sarah, you, at Sarah's graduation party in May. Sarah said she doesn't think Brittany meant to steal anything and it's really not that deep, especially since I'm single right now, so it wouldn't be a good idea for me to steal anything. It will be a while before I'm thinking about marriage again anyways. I don't even want to talk to Brittany about it because I don't want to rain. on her happy moment and make it about me when she is celebrating her marriage. I feel so dumb and upset for talking about my plans that I was excited about. And it feels like now if I do this thing that I've been wanting to do for years, it will look like I'm the one copying Britney. And that's kind of a shitty thing to do, in my opinion. So am I the asshole for being upset? I kind of feel torn on this. Really? Okay. A little bit. Let me hear your thoughts. I don't think she's an asshole for being upset. Like this fully was a rip of sort of an intimate idea that she had. That was, you know, something she'd been talking about and was really looking forward to. But I also am like, if the social media aspect of it didn't exist, I feel like it wouldn't matter to just like take the idea, I guess, of getting married and then telling people after. Yeah. It's the social media because do you really have all of the same family and friends? Right. She's just bothered about the fact that now it'll look like she's copying her. Also, I don't know. Maybe I'm just online too much or whatever. I don't think this is that original of an idea. This sounds like kind of just going to vague. Well, it's just eloping, right? It's eloping. And then just having a reception, like shocker, like someone did that. It's kind of normal. She didn't have a wedding. We just had a reception. Yeah. After. Thank you. Like, it's very normal. It's not this grand, crazy, original idea. Like, I want to go up in a hot air balloon. And as I'm peeking over the horizon, he proposes. And then Sarah's in the hot air balloon and takes pictures. And then we mail. Like, it's not that crazy. I think the reason I'm torn is I get being like a little, you know, like that immature voice inside you that's like, oh, that was my idea. And like, I told them about it. And now it won't be as unique. But then at the same time, it's like your ideas. It's just eloping. Yeah. I think it's the fact that it was like, OK, we had this conversation. Yeah. And you literally looked at me, Brittany, and Brittany told me that it was, quote, hilarious. Yeah. And then she does it. And then in my head, I'm like, did Brittany tell you it was hilarious because she was already planning to do this? Because I don't know, like, how long was in between? Because it does take a while to get all those cards made, printed, sent to you. I think it was quite some time in between. I think that that she was saying that that was a long time ago that that conversation had happened. I think she's been saying that she wants to do this for years. Yeah. But it sounds like back in May, it's currently July. So May, June, July, like. Oh, she said back in May. Yeah. So a couple months at least. OK. So she probably did get the inspo from her. Because also on the thing, Brittany said. P.S. So they've been married. Don't forget he, he. He, he. So they've been married since May. So I wonder if Brittany had already planned on doing this. And that's why she was like, hilarious. I mean, yeah, that's totally possible as well. Because, again, it's not that original of an idea. Right. Yeah. Especially if, like, she's going around telling it to all these people. The chances of there being someone else who has also had this thought are pretty high. Also, especially if you don't have money for a wedding, you know. Ma'am, ma'am, you don't even have a boyfriend for a wedding. You don't have a fiance for a wedding. She kind of got her ass with that one. Like, but, you know, love can happen anywhere. But what if you find. It can happen overnight. Your person. Totally. And your partner's dream is a wedding. Then what are you going to do? Right. What if money is an issue? What if you meet a millionaire? Farmer wants a wife. And he's got money. And he says, babe, you don't got to worry about that. Expense. I got this. Yeah. I come from lumber money. Oh. My parents came in on the Mayflower. What if he says that? We come from humble origins of steel. Just call me Carnegie. Like, I don't know. Oh, my God. Like, what if? Yeah, I know. You're making plans to have, like, a future that, like, could just not exist. Which also includes someone else who has their own ideas. Thank you. Totally. There was, like, an episode of Sex and the City. I think Charlotte has, like, a baby name. That she wants to use. But she's not even dating anyone. Oh, my God. But then she, like, says it to someone. And then they use that baby name. And they're like, well, you're not using it anytime soon. Yeah. And I was initially thinking of that. Which I feel like maybe would be slightly different. Baby names? I feel like definitely more reason to be a little territorial about those. Yeah. Versus just, like, getting elopement. Well, I guess also use the same photographer. Who is both of your friends. Right. Who is a photographer. A friend of both of you. Who, I guess, like, yeah, I'm going to ask my friend. Versus potentially paying thousands. Like, if your friend is willing to do that and you know that. It feels like she just wanted to have a moment of everyone being like, oh, my God, she got married without telling anybody. I've never heard of that. She is. What a girl, that woman. I can't believe what she just did. So creative. Ahead of her time. Visionary. Yeah. Comments on this one. What way do you think they're going to go? I think they're going to say that she's overreacting, maybe. Top comment. Wait. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. You're single? Oh, no. Next one. This is right up there with single, not pregnant woman being mad at baby names being used by friends who are in a relationship and having a baby. That was literally my thought. But I kind of get that one, though. I get a baby name. You can have a baby name from when you're a child. Yes. And, like, I don't, like, what's wrong with a single person having ideations of love one day? God forbid. A baby name is something I so see more possessiveness over, especially if it's a family name or a dream. Like, a lot of girls, women, like, put names in their app on their phone, like a notes app, keeping track. Like, I went to grad school and literally, basically every woman in my cohort had a list of baby names, multiple women that were single. I have a list. And they were like, that is it. That is going to be my baby name. I've had a list for quite some time. I got a list. I'll read a book and I'm like, oh, I like that name. Add it to the list. Put it on that list. Dude, one of my names that has been on my list for ages and it will be used as a first or a middle name in some way is literally in fourth wing. And now everyone's going to be like, she picked it because of fourth wing. No. No. It's been there for years. It's been there. I mean, I wouldn't even want someone to tell me because I'm like, even if we did happen to use the same name, I wouldn't want either of us to feel resentful. There's no resentment over it. No. And I think like if you're friends, I think siblings using the same baby name. So like the cousins are all. I know. Yeah, that can be a big problem. But I just saw a group of girls. They're five sisters and every single one of them is named Mary. So people, people get wild. There's a friend group that's all named Mary. That's sort of like the plot of the. Siblings. So they're all like full ass related siblings. There's five of them, daughters. Well, that shouldn't happen. That's very complicated. For paperwork. They named them all Mary. So it's awful for us. It's Mary Beth, Mary June, Mary Ellen. Oh, do they use both? I didn't get into it. OK. I'm like, they're still all named Mary. Like first name, you know? Yeah, they shouldn't be doing that. No, I don't do that, guys. No. Next comment down. You're the asshole. You've not invented the wheel. Someone got married in a wood where thousands of others have done it. Perhaps if it was such a secret. From a private ambition. You shouldn't have told everyone. Right. Right. Yeah. Right. It's like saying someone stole your wedding idea to have the bride wear a white dress and the groom wear a black suit. You're the asshole. You know that traditionally a marriage involves two people, right? So you're planning a wedding without a second person and just assuming they'll go along with it. OK, then. They're being a little hard on her for being single and having dreams. But like, you know. But I get where it's coming from. But I'm like, God, a lot of people are just like, girl, what you had me in the first half. Not going to lie. You're the asshole. And then so many. You didn't have an original idea. Comments. Yeah. So many. I think she can be privately like, ah, damn, should have kept that to myself just in case I could have been the first one on Facebook to do it. But I think any like conversations with these people being like, oh, my thing was stolen. I think that's where you get into crazy territory. You're being goofy. Yeah. Yeah. Because also single, it's going to take you maybe a little bit to meet someone and then be together for a year or two, three. Then you're engaged or you just get married, whatever. But like, by the time that all happens for you, people are going to forget about this one. Facebook will have forgotten. Like, what? Yeah. No one's no one cares that much to remember. Brittany's post. It's good. She can add it to the end of the post. She can say, and by the way, this has been my idea for quite some time, longer than others you may have seen. That would be good. That would be good. No update from O.P. I don't see any comments in regards to it. So they just kind of moved along. You know what? Maybe they were having a little bit of a crazy moment of of whatever, and then they posted it and saw the comments and they were like, all right, yeah, I got a chill. I feel some pain where. you know i don't like my ideas getting stolen it happens to the best of us human you know i'm bitter about it we're not perfect no you know it sucks but again it wasn't that original of an idea right the ones that i've had stolen this episode is brought to you by state farm so this podcast is all about choices wild messy wait you did what choices but for the choices that are actually straightforward state farms got over 19 000 local agents real humans ready to help you like helping you save when you choose to bundle home and auto with the personal price plan bundling just another way to save with the personal price plan like a good neighbor state farm is there prices are based on ratings plans that vary by state coverage options are selected by the customer availability amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state this episode is brought to you by and hulu we're going for real with disney plus and hulu throwbacks on disney plus throw it back to hannah montana the princess diaries camp rock and that's so raven then turn back the clock with hulu with golden girls full house malcolm in the middle and gilmore girls oh snap it's your favorite throwbacks from disney plus and hulu all of these and more now totally streaming 18 plus only offer valid for eligible subscribers only terms apply this episode is brought to you by talkiatry when the suffering finding the right treatment can be overwhelming that's where talkiatry comes in talkiatry is an online psychiatry practice with licensed psychiatrists who can evaluate diagnose and provide ongoing medication management when appropriate they accept major insurers can treat anxiety adhd depression and more and you can schedule your first visit in days not months go to talkiatry.com slash hot takes to get matched in minutes that's t-a-l-k-i-a-t-r-y.com slash hot takes talkiatry.com slash hot takes they're good let's get into okay this next one coming from am i the asshole titled am i the asshole for making my daughter use dollar store shampoo and conditioner hmm my wife and i have three daughters oldest is 16 middle is 14 and youngest is 10 my entire family and my wife's family all have straight hair my oldest and youngest also have straight hair and then there's my middle child with curly blonde hair and green eyes the rest of the family has brown hair and brown eyes i admittedly am not very close with her because i had doubts that she was mine and i had a hard time bonding with her due to that my middle daughter insists that she needs special shampoo and conditioner because of her curly hair she found some that wasn't too expensive so i bought it for her but she goes through the conditioner like water she came to me after a little over a month and said that she needed another bottle i told her that she doesn't and that her conditioner should last her at least another month but probably longer but she insists that you need to use a lot of conditioner for curly hair i bought her another bottle and told her to use less because she wasn't getting another one for at least two months she used it again in a month so i bought her shampoo and conditioner from the dollar store she had a meltdown about how this is going to ruin her hair and that she just got it to a place where she liked it and it was manageable she blames us for her hair being uncontrollable for most of her life because we didn't learn how to take care of curly hair even though it's not different than straight hair she even threatened to shave her head which i know she won't do because she's obsessed with her hair now she's refusing to speak to me and she's being extremely disrespectful to me and my wife my wife thinks we should give in but i think she needs to learn her lesson am i the asshole asshole yes you're such an asshole dude oh my god what is wrong with him this just feels like another situation where you want to punish somebody for no reason like he even admittedly himself said that the conditioner and shampoo she liked doesn't cost very much like she she's control tried really hard i think to find something that would be okay and then what used it for a little bit over a month it's not like she's doing something on purpose she's doing something on purpose she's doing something on purpose to punish you or something irresponsible curly hair what's the lesson it's control yeah it's abuse i i genuinely do think this maybe this is a hot take but i think if you have a child and because of biology they have different hair or different whatever than you you as your as a parent need to learn how to take care of it of course your child shouldn't be like i've gone my whole life because you guys didn't realize you had to take care of curly hair if you have a child you're supposed to learn how to take care of them yeah if they have different hair than you then go to a barber shop go somewhere and learn how to take care of that child and their hair but he doesn't want to because he doesn't think that child is his because she has curly hair yeah just throwing that in at the middle or put it square dude that was what is that 25 chance maybe like genetics wise like curly hair straight hair if you're that fucking delusional one i'm curious if the wife knows that he's suspicious the child is not his because as a wife and mother clearly hers i'd be pissed if my husband thought i cheated and never confronted me and therefore treated one of our children differently yeah but two she's 14 why at this point haven't you done a dna test that's where i'm like you're going to continue to let this affect you so much so i mean no you think he would mention it i used to think didn't he say like i used to wonder if she was mine i had doubts that she was mine and i had a hard time bonding with her due to that yeah and kind of past tense so i'm like maybe he has or maybe he hasn't but i don't know though and the wife kind of seems to just be a passenger in this story like she's saying they should just give in but not really having an active relationship with her and she's like i don't know i don't know i don't know i'm mad i'm like so mad because it's like again such a manipulative title am i the asshole for buying her dollar store shampoo i know it makes you think it's just like a money situation and that's the best that they can do and but it's not that someone does ask info are you poor is money really tight for you op responds just one word no okay also i'm thinking about walking through a store and looking for shampoo like i don't know i've gone to target and like kristin s that brand like blew up for a while and like it's a nicer brand that is carried places and even that is like a more expensive option and it's like fifteen dollars twenty bucks and it's like if money isn't an issue for you guys she's going through a bottle a month twelve times fifteen also it's very big what's that on like i don't know it can't be that much and it's like you again you thank you i think 180 all right there we go 180 ish but it's like also on the bottles it says in very big letters for curly hair for straight hair i think it's pretty easy to figure out what to get a child at least over time like it literally says what hair type on each for damaged and dry hair for thick hair for thin hair they say it in big letters but he doesn't think it's different and you've never considered like oh we have one child with different hair maybe i get them the curly hair no because he doesn't think it is any different than straight hair he says that but she's telling you it is it is oh my god there's even different types of curly hair 3c 4c do i know what any of it means no i don't know what any of it means no i don't know what any of it means no but i watch those videos on tiktok and they're very informative yeah you have to like really like there's curly hair method you put the product in use the special brush that kind of separates the curls and then you use your little diffuser to get the extra bounce it's also just you are a parent you chose to have children you have to take care of their basic needs to the best of your ability so even beyond that she's asking for shampoo and conditioner he's an asshole asshole yeah asshole this is feeling like one of those things where it's like it's not about the yogurt it's it's not about the shampoo because if it was just about the shampoo and not wanting to spend money or she's got curly hair i have straight hair i don't think there's a difference no like this is really a bigger bigger really deeply troubling issue about i don't think this child is really mine because she has curly hair because she has green eyes and therefore she deserves less or different treatment and like again that's why i'm just so confused where it's for 14 years and you haven't made sure i don't even care if you tell your wife do secret dna test don't tell me don't tell reddit but go out there and figure it out because otherwise you are treating this child horribly and what happens when you actually find out she is yours how are you gonna feel yeah or isn't like i think she is i know but even if she isn't that's not the child's fault no and it's still your child then go talk to your wife and take it out on her not this poor innocent kid yeah the comments oh please please tell me they get him bad and please tell me he reads them and it feels bad top comment with 32k upvotes you're the asshole wow yes women with curly hair do need a different type of shampoo and conditioner dollar store shampoo is likely going to damage her hair also do you not understand how traits are passed on was there a reason besides your daughter's physical features that you've thought she wasn't yours that's causing you to not properly bond with her you suck yeah you're the asshole someone respond he's getting off so easy if she's just using extra conditioner as well someone goes she may be doing the curly girl method which uses conditioner a lot more than shampoo which who cares how much of either that she's using it's a basic necessity shampoo toothpaste a toothbrush yeah like those are basic necessities that your kid should not go without yeah clean socks and underwear and clothes my god like what other ways is he torturing her too yeah because it's not he's like it's not about the money so what else is she getting denied and this is something so basic like god forbid what if she had a hobby what if she came to him and said i want to play soccer what she's she's not getting the tampons with the applicator like because those are three dollars more like at what point does it does it go to yeah you can't play soccer we don't have enough money for you to play soccer this year sorry band nah you don't deserve that trumpet yeah you're not mine your siblings though you know that's like this is the scapegoat yeah and you've got two golden children like it's so shitty but yeah everyone tears in op so i just found a crazy update his account is deleted but i found it on another thread uh uh word has just hit us that there's an update word has been given we just found an update for this update it's been almost two weeks since my post so i felt that i should post an update my middle daughter ran away a couple of days after i posted my original post oh my god we found out that she had been planning this for months my oldest daughter was in on it and helped her hide the fact that she's been working after school for months she taught her how to hide her money and showed her what to put in her bag and where to hide it when they were leaving for school my middle daughter had a new backpack my wife asked about it and middle said i don't know what to do with it i don't know what to do with it i don't know what to do with it said that it was her friends but she didn't want it so she gave it to her which was completely plausible considering that her friend gives her stuff all the time a couple of hours later we got a call from the school saying that my middle daughter wasn't there my wife came home and checked her room and found a note on her dresser saying that she couldn't handle living with me anymore oh my god my wife has a sister around 45 miles away and our middle daughter showed up to her house after being in a car accident and she was in a car accident and she was in a car accident missing for three days she refused to go home and threatened to run away again if she tried to make her see us at first my wife told me to move out so our middle daughter could come home real but she quickly realized that she can't afford to live in our house on her income alone plus our oldest and deserve to have their parents together so middle is going to stay with her aunt until we figure out a plan that works for everyone oh my god he's awful uh-huh i like have no words the fact that it's like oh we noticed she had a new backpack why because you refused to buy her a backpack and she's probably carrying around a raggedy ass one like i think again like where i was like what else is this transpiring into yeah this is he must be absolutely horrific to her also the so the wife being like okay you are so awful our daughter left you have to get out of the house so she'll come home and then him being like oh well how are you gonna afford it how are you gonna afford that you can't on your income alone so i'm not leaving it's crazy too how this doesn't even seem to be a wake-up call for him no it didn't break through at all none of the comments did her daughter running away didn't like i don't know it's just insane because it's like yeah my child ran away i guess like i am terrible i guess maybe i should fix things i guess no it's like i got what i wanted this is great i wonder if she saw the reddit post too because i mean i could see the hair instance on its own being like the last straw but i also like with the timing of it being two weeks later i'm like i wonder if she saw how he was talking about her too i don't know you wonder oh wait no she's been doing this for months she's been working after school for months yeah but maybe like maybe that was her final straw maybe this is like she ran out of the conditioner he got her the dollar store stuff and she's like and the other kids are on board like your other kids don't like you or think you're cool either they're understanding where she's coming from and helping her get away yeah yeah because oldest is only 16 too and the fact that she showed up three days later did she walk there i don't know maybe it was it was 45 miles that's a that's what walking would take yeah about three days i don't know i'll take me three days to walk 45 miles i'm i'm pokey i'm gonna need a lot of rest breaks she's little yeah like 14 and what if she got kidnapped like this could have ended so terribly yeah so terribly a lot of people call this into question a lot of people are like feels fake but honestly i don't think it is i'm thinking about the story me and you had on a past episode where um the person's parent purposefully kept them having lice oh my god for like eight years and that's what it feels like i think some parents are genuinely just so terrible and want to keep their kids under their control and under their abuse and under this weird sick dynamic i could 100 see this being real and we've heard stories in the past too about like my dad didn't think i was his like we've had weird paternity stories this is not implausible to me it's just so crazy that he would come back to reddit and say this part and still have not even like a moment of doubts about himself though like that is so crazy but again that is a person who exists so i don't know i'm that's just mystified by this i feel so bad i hope the aunt is like i got you girl yeah like we're good because this is just brutal and yeah i mean comments all tore into him on the original post you're the asshole you're the asshole you're the asshole and again clearly didn't get it like there was no apology on that update there was i realize i've messed up yeah she was upset she ran away i'm gonna make this right like right i'm working on our relationship he doesn't care this is a blessing for him this is what he wants now he's got his family it such a disgusting gremlin of a person we went on to this next one which we're kind of back on the wedding train and you had a wedding train i'm scared i did have a wedding train yeah we did our rehearsal dinner on a train and it was it was so fun that was so cool all right it was so fun i need one of you guys to get married now all right you ready i'll do it you're next give me like a year okay cool i would just love to plan help like i'll be a wedding planner just let me help it's so fun i just want to do it again okay well judging by the title i don't know if this wedding is going to be fun so this is also coming from am i the asshole it's titled am i the asshole for snapping at my half sister when she called to say that neither her nor my other sister will be attending my wedding after they both rsvp'd yes throw away names changed i female 23 have two half sisters molly female 29 and mary female 33 both from my dad's previous marriage i wasn't close to either of them growing up because they mainly stayed with their mom and we just generally weren't close we're all nice to one another but it's not buddy buddy i got married a few weeks ago and both molly and mary were invited they both rsvp'd yes literally a couple of days before the wedding mary calls and says that neither her nor molly will be attending i'm shocked because obviously all of the catering everything's been pudding and now four people won't be attending, they each had a plus one. Mary did sound apologetic and she explained to me, detailing a traumatic situation that Molly's going through and she will also not be attending and staying with Molly and their mom instead. I got upset and said that I understand, but if she can just attend for a little while to support me, then she can leave early if she wishes. Mary kept saying that it's not possible. So I snapped and said how neither of them care about my feelings and the effort put into this wedding, especially since Molly herself didn't bother giving me a call to let me know. And it's obvious that I was always the outsider sister and not a part of their group. Mary said I was being selfish and hung up the phone. I did tell some relatives about the situation. some who knew about it and got mixed reactions from them for going off on Mary. So am I the asshole for snapping because they didn't come to my wedding? It's hard because we don't know what the traumatic situation is. And I feel like the comments, the top comments will spoil it. So I'm looking at comments from OP and there are two. So someone does ask info. What exactly was the traumatic situation? And I will say in the post, when it says detailing a traumatic situation, it's like, you know, the one, not the two quotes. It's not a direct quote. It's like paraphrased. Yeah. So it's like almost like, I don't know. It just feels like it's belittling to the traumatic situation by even like putting it in that. That's what I'm wondering. What's the single one called? Not so not apostrophes, but like not a quotation. Is it an apostrophe? Is it an apostrophe? It might be an apostrophe. Yeah. OK. It's an apostrophe. I'm like, it's been a long time. Well, I'm like, yeah. Well, because I think that there could be a world in which somebody is calling a situation traumatic, but it's like not, you know, but then there's also a world in which it's a very traumatic situation and she's belittling it. So I like I'm I'm having a hard time knowing how to feel. But it's probably a real traumatic situation. I'm literally like I'm fucking horrified. So info. Because if it actually lives up to that name. Yeah. Not sure how you think you're not the asshole. And something tells me you're avoiding details because, you know, they don't make you look good for worrying more about catering than whatever Molly's dealing with. Yeah. It has that vibe. OP responds. Molly's boyfriend passed away in an accident a few weeks before the wedding. Oh, my God. Go rot in hell. Oh, my God. I'm more worried about the catering. They both had plus ones. Go step on a rake. And it is like she did call and let her know. Like, uh-huh. I don't know how self-involved. Yes. Like how self-centered are you that this is even a worry of yours? Like I had friends text me like two days before my wedding and be like, I'm so sorry. I got food poisoning or norovirus. I can't make it. And I'm like, cool, whatever. I feel like it'd be hard to have a wedding without there being some element of someone having an emergency or an illness or something come up beforehand. And it's like you feel so sure that you're right. But then you're purposefully leaving out what happened to your sister. So it kind of feels like you do know that you're an asshole in some way. Oh, this feels so intentionally like they tried to mislead us to just get like a no, you're not the asshole. Your wedding is important, too. Yeah, that was rude. They left all of that out because otherwise you could have. How do you even hear that? Like if you are going to include that in your post and be like, yeah, the reason Molly can't come is because. Her boyfriend passed away. Getting mad. One of those plus ones is I would imagine dead. Yeah. Like that was definitely the plus one was the boyfriend. And again, you're more worried about the fucking food. Yeah. They both had. What was she supposed to fill that plus one with somebody else? Oh, fuck. My plus one died. But I don't want to affect your catering. So I'm going to find someone else to fill the spot. Like, what the fuck? Dude, people go off on her in the comments like the other one that she responds to. You're the asshole. Did you even ask what the traumatic event was? It's not always about you. OP responds. Yes, I know what it was. And Mary told me someone responds. I mean, like, it's so morbid what people start going into the comments on. Like, I just don't even want to read it. Yeah. I'm like, it's just like, it's so sad. And it's just like, how are you even here? How did you even have the gall to come here and drop this utter bullshit on my little website that I love called Reddit? And you're fucking. On the pure, on the pure, lovely angel website Reddit, where things like this aren't meant to be. I like want to go take a walk. I'm like, I'm, I'm like, just so over her. I mean, this is why wedding culture gets a bad rap. It's bridezilla's like her. What were you going to say? I'm sorry. I was just going to say, like, it had that vibe even before she said what the traumatic event was. It was like the way that she's talking about this feels off. But then there's a world in which the traumatic event is like she stubbed her toe and now no one's coming to the wedding. But also then she'd probably say that she was there. Yeah. Uh huh. It wasn't giving that. No. And that's why, again, I like I think now that we know what it is, too, it's so much worse. Doesn't the apostrophes like around traumatic event? I know it's not a quote, but it's like it gives like, like, like, no, just a traumatic event. You don't have to put any apostrophes around it. That's what I mean. Because she had a traumatic event. Why are the apostrophes there? Does it get much more traumatic than that? Like, why? That's what that word is for. Dude, I hope she gets bitten by a cow or something just crazy. Like, I just want her to like, you know. Yeah. Just like a little. I mean, I hope that these Reddit comments feel like getting bitten by a cow. I know. I mean, people just popped off after, especially after they found out, which. Yeah. I am. I am shocked she even admitted that online. I know. Maybe she got a little bit like confident that she could she could come out of this being the one people agreed with. No. People are posting like shame, bell emojis, shame like they go Game of Thrones, shame on her ass. The fact that you withheld the details of the traumatic situation tells me, you know, deep down that you're an asshole. Not everything is about you. Everyone then finds out because people are like, here's what happened. Like, right. They're linking. They're linking it. They're commenting. And everyone's like, holy shit. Also, the fact that she then goes, well, the real reason they're not coming is because I've always been the outsider sister. Genuinely insane. Don't think it's about that. What if your fucking fiance husband died? Think she'd still have a wedding. Well, catering. Catering. God. OK, well, let's hope this next one is. As I sit here, I'm just like, it's fine. Yeah, let's get a story that doesn't piss us off. Is that out there? This episode is brought to you by Billy. I don't know about you guys, but I get a little lazy in the winter. I'm in hibernation mode and I grow out my leg hair a little bit, but it's getting warmer. And now I'm excited for that first shave of the season. And if you are, then you got to get the Billy razor in your life. It's designed for how women actually shave legs, pits, toes, happy trail, wherever. It has five sharp blades and a pivoting head so you can actually get everywhere without doing shower gymnastics. And it comes with a magnetic holder so your razor stays dry on the wall instead of sitting in a shower puddle. Grab a Billy razor in your favorite color in store or at mybilly.com. This episode is brought to you by Chrysler. Life with kids is basically a never ending series of plot twists. One minute, everyone's buckled in. The next, someone's dropped a snack, lost a shoe, or needs a bathroom break immediately. That's why the newly designed Chrysler Pacifica is built for real life. With thoughtful features like stow and go seating, hands-free sliding doors, and passenger seating up to eight, it helps keep everything moving. Because family life isn't about the perfect moments, it's about making the most of any moment. Visit your local dealer or chrysler.com to learn more and schedule a test drive today. Chrysler is a registered trademark of SCAUS LLC, this episode is brought to you by Revolve. My summer has been jam-packed with moments where I just want to look cute. And the best way to do it is to find a good fit, an outfit that makes you feel confident, that feels on trend or reflects your unique style. And Revolve is my go-to place to find those fits. I just went to Europe and basically every single one of my outfits was from Revolve. And I've never, never been complimented more. So whether it's a big night out, a wedding, a summer trip, or you just need something last minute that actually works, Revolve always has it. Go to revolve.com slash THT to shop our faves and use code THT for 15% off your first order. Fast shipping, easy returns. It just makes everything easier. That's revolve.com slash THT. You can shop our faves and get 15% off your first order. Offer available for a limited time, so don't miss out. Palate cleanser who? Okay, this next one. Coming from Am I the Asshole. Am I the asshole for calling my sister-in-law a liar? I, 31 male, live in San Diego. My older brother, 34 male, recently got married to a woman from India, 30 female. They'd only been dating for about seven months, but her visa was expiring, so they decided to get married sooner rather than later. My brother and I have always been close. We've done a lot of favors for each other over the years, and one thing we've always had is trust. We don't lie to each other, even about the little things. Recently, I had to travel to India for work. The project is in a pretty remote area, and by coincidence, it's close to where my sister-in-law's family lives. She told me not to rent a vehicle because her family had a Jeep that I could borrow. That sounded perfect, so I thanked her. When I arrived, her family handed me the keys to a Mahindra TAR. I was confused, and I asked where the Wrangler was. They looked confused and said, quote, this is the Jeep. I didn't want to make a scene with her family, so I just took it and I drove it for the week. It worked fine, and it got me where I needed to go. When I got back, I asked my sister-in-law why she told me that her family had a Jeep when they actually had a Mahindra TAR. She said, quote, it's the same thing. I told her, quote, no, it isn't. Jeep is a brand. Mahindra is a brand. A Wrangler and a TAR are. completely different vehicles. She said everyone where she's from calls vehicles like that Jeeps, and that she didn't think there was any difference. I said, that's ridiculous. By that logic, I could point at a Chrysler PT Cruiser and call it a BMW X5 because they're both SUVs. They're obviously different cars made by different companies. She got upset and said that I was being intentionally difficult and that she wasn't trying to deceive me. I told her that if you tell someone your family owns a Jeep Wrangler when they actually own a Mahindra TAR, that's lying. My brother says that I'm being pendantic and that she was using Jeep as a generic term, the way some people say Kleenex for any tissue. I don't think that's comparable. If someone specifically tells you they have a Jeep, I expect them to have an actual Jeep. Oh my god. For what it's worth, I'm grateful they let me borrow the vehicle. This isn't about the favor. It's about telling me something that wasn't true and then insisting that I was wrong for pointing it out. Am I the asshole? You could have given me the story, like the headline of it in the first couple sentences, and given me 10 years to come up with what the lie was, and I never would have landed on this. That is a Jeep. That's a Jeep. That's a Jeep. Honestly, I think it's cuter than a Jeep. Everyone Google this. It's a Jeep. If you're watching the video version of this episode, whether it be on Spotify or wherever you're seeing the video, like YouTube, it is a Jeep in my eyes. Every version of this is a Jeep. It honestly looks cuter than a Jeep. It almost looks like- It's a beautiful car. I kind of want one now. It's the shape of a Jeep. It's lifted like a Jeep. It's got, you know, the back looks like a Jeep. I think you can remove the top, right? I mean, I don't know. It looks like it. It looks like a Jeep. If it drives like a Jeep, I don't know. What's the difference? And let me tell you, even if it was an entirely different car, I still wouldn't understand getting worked up about it. Like, it could be a mistake. It could be a language difference. It could be a, you know, a term that people use that other people, like, I don't know. Or it could be a forgotten memory. She just doesn't remember what car it was. Whatever. It's a good, it's a car that works, that was given to you for free. I don't understand saying a single thing. I don't understand saying a single word about it. Even if they came out in a Tesla or a, like a, what's a very different car? Like a, like a Subaru. Even if it was a Subaru. Yeah. I would just be like, oh, well, car. Thank you for the nice car for the week. Thank you for the car. It worked. No problems. I think the brother, that analogy too, of like, people call all tissues Kleenexes. Great analogy. That is truly, it's the same thing. Yeah. And he's like, it's not the same. It's the same thing. I do that with so much stuff. And like, Kleenex is one of those, examples or like Band-Aid. Can I get a Band-Aid? A Band-Aid is a brand. Well, I didn't know that one. Yeah. What's it called? What's it called if it's not a Band-Aid? Bandage? Stick on elastic bandage. Terrible branding for that word. But that's what I'm saying. Like, think about, there's so many brands that are like that. A generic name is an adhesive bandage. Adhesive bandage. I mean, it just doesn't have the same pizzazz to it. Yeah. I'm going to call that shit Band-Aid. I think that this guy sounds fully insufferable. This sounds like the most obnoxious. I mean, we've had self-righteous, pretentious. We've had worse people for sure in these stories. But what I have to tell you is this is the most obnoxious maybe ever. Can't you picture like this guy? Oh gosh. There's like been this trope in like TV shows. Well, actually, yeah, that guy, like Ted Mosby. Well, actually that's not Ted Mosby. Technically, it's skyscraper because it's not over 200 feet tall. It's okay. Or like, you know, where they're just like critical about every single thing you say. And it's like, oh my God, just because I said the sky is blue doesn't mean the sky can't be orange during sunset. Like, yeah, come on. And it's like, okay, you know, one little fun car fact and you're really stunting it. Now, if we're going to, you know, talk like that, I will be matching. That energy about everything you say and trust and believe you're going to slip up quick. I just, I think he's a, I think he's maybe the worst. I think he's maybe the worst. Maybe the worst there's been. I just cannot. In terms of insufferability. Yeah. If there, if, if we're putting it purely on insufferability, this guy, he's taking it. Because, you know, it's just, it comes out in so many other aspects. Um, I want one of these cars. I think they're so cute. According to Google, they cost about $13,000. Which is like a bargain. That's a great car price. Yeah. One other article says 16K, another says 18.5, maybe depending on, you know, versions or specs, but like knowing the cost of a Jeep, like that's a deal. Right. Sign me up. Absolutely. Have you seen all the cool cars that China has, but like legally we're not allowed to import here or like it's harder to import here because of the big auto makers. Yeah. The big three. Did you know about the Tucker? Have you heard of the Tucker car? I don't know. There was a car though. There was a really cute car in, in Burbank that I saw. And my friend was like, that car is $3,000 and it's like a mini van. It's like a cute little whatever, but you have to import it. And the import costs are really expensive. Is that the Tucker or is that something else? No. So the Tucker is, it was a car made in like the 1940s from this like genius guy named Preston Tucker. And it was radical. Like this car was going to put the big three in it. And it was like, oh my God, this car is going to put the big three out of business. It had all of these crazy safety features. It had like swiveling headlights and all of the big auto makers, Ford, you know, GMC at the time they were like, no. And so they, they literally killed it. They killed this car. They killed Tucker. They actually might've killed him or he died from a heart attack because of what happened. Sure. Which like same, same. Um, but like he really was like this revolutionary guy. And like he wanted these cars to like be able to get like 200 miles per gallon. Like he was doing stuff that the other people couldn't keep up with. And so they took him out. They sent my good boy Semmelweis to the mental hospital because he was saying, you got to wash your hands to kill germs. And then Louis Astor come along years later. And, and now it's true, but my, my good guy, guy got dead, got dead in the mental hospital. God, that's like, um, Fitzgerald put his wife Zelda in the mental hospital and then took all her writing. No one likes an innovator. No one likes a truth teller. There is a movie on the Tucker though. If anyone wants to watch it. Yeah. I'm interested in that. That's really cool. Top comment. Yeah. 100% you're the asshole. 1000% actually. Next comment. You're the asshole. Your brother is right. You're being pedantic. Great word. Did I say it right? I think, I believe so. Yes. Pedantic. Pedantic. Did I add an N? That was a crazy voice. Pedantic. I don't know. Um, describing someone who is overly concerned with minor details, formal rules and displaying their academic knowledge. Yeah. I don't vibe with this. Which I'm going to get into it over the odyssey with some people like that. I'm sure it is literally Ted Mosby. That's yeah. That's crazy. Um, but yeah, clearly you're the asshole. Let's see if we have anything from him. Only five days old at this point in time. He says it was definitely more bumpy. than a real jeep okay it might look like one but the suspension etc are not of the same quality and i was concerned about being stranded you were concerned about being stranded there is a difference in suspension and since i was taking it on rough roads i wanted to be sure i was getting something that can handle it and be comfortable wait but it's people people who live there who have that car who are used to those roads that car is for those roads that's their car and they live there and that's for the roads there someone responds i think it's trying to get attention for mahindra tars how many people who have responded knew what that was without googling it so people are accusing him of like baiting and like making this a mahindra tar ad i mean that would be genius i mean i literally just said i want one fell for it as fuck we're posting it we're posting it everywhere like we love this shit this rocks look at the price look at the price it looks just like maybe he just conned us but he does respond and say what a ridiculous thing to say i'm sure indians know it and getting attention and marketing it to americans makes no sense as they do not sell them here and would likely get sued if they did okay hindra tar we see you and then he adds later i'm american and a white dude so he really was just like no this is real okay which hey these people are out there i mean i'm not gonna lie i'm not gonna lie i'm not gonna lie i'm not gonna lie i mean i kind of like love that theory though a lot what's the craziest thing you've seen from someone just like being problematic in public lately in public yeah like these kind of people don't surprise me because i see weird like rude people kind of out and about quite often nothing's coming to mind though recently do you have one recently yeah so i flew back on a plane yesterday and this woman got on the plane and the overhead bins around her seat were full and there was one bin like up that was reserved for the seats that don't have like anything in front of them so all of the bags have to go up yeah and so she's like um excuse me um there's no room here for my bag and the flight attendant was like okay ma'am like you're welcome to place it you know behind your row further back there she goes there's a backpack up there can we move it and it's just like and the guy he's like i don't know i don't he's like i can try to get the backpack under my seat like bigger guy like didn't really have room and the woman goes and what about those spots and the flight was like oh my god ma'am like we reserve that bin for these seats because they don't you know have a bulkhead or anything in front of them you know for safety reasons everything has to go up and she goes well no one's sitting there we had literally just started boarding yeah like you're one of the earlier people on the plane like they're coming and sure enough they are literally the person in two to my right they go those are our seats and so i like i'm just like god i'm like okay well like i'm 19 you can put your bag by me i'll go further back so i put mine by like 25 and i'm like planes really do bring out like a dark side of people i fear i know i got yelled at when i was a flight attendant because someone asked me for a cough drop and i didn't have them okay i'm like we don't provide those so there's you know planes can only hold so much uh-huh and so we try to stick to really the necessities here people out there are just wild little characters and we see that every week on this show wow we see that each and every week that's i mean maybe even what y'all come here for i know i do that's what got me going to reddit but that's all bailey wrote wow she's actually she's got more but you know yeah it was it was a beautiful experience and what better to end on than a mahindra tar and then we start saying like the catchphrase of mahindra tar like mahindra what is where you're going for less not an ad no but like what if we were bought off by big mahindra tar mahindra explore the impossible i mean that that rocks they're great the brand also uses the tagline live young live free mahindra tar i'm sold live mahindra say less oh that was so good we have so many amazing themes coming up that myself and bailey are working on first day on earth healed and thriving irreversible x oh i'm curious about that the irreversible x yeah it's gonna be really good hearing about those it's gonna be really good also i just have to tell you guys joshua taylor bassett is so freaking nice i ran into him in can and every time i see him i'm like hey margaret like i will tell you guys like i've had quite a few people on this show and sometimes i run into them after at events or in public by far like the nicest person that i've seen after oh i was just like you are so you're just such a little cutie and him and justin were able to connect and like they were talking about music and it was just really it was really great he's a sweetheart that's so nice when people are nice just be nice just be nice and don't be intentionally misleading about jeeps yeah everything trauma weddings shampoo right i'm like a little traumatized from today i know actually like thinking back on all these stories i'm pissed off at a lot of people right now same my list of people that i'm pissed off at has grown exponentially a lot of people are getting cold this year a lot of people getting cold thank you guys so much for being here another episode if you want more of this theme we're going a few of the stories over to patreon so that'll be good but other than that justin's band is called park wild i know people were like in this week's episode that came out we we were talking about his band and like i cut like six to eight minutes of us talking about his music before because it was just it would have been like a 14 minute long intro so i cut it and then people are like they bring up justin's music and then still don't talk about it it's called park wild he's working on a again in november and after that it hopefully will be touring the country so i will keep you guys posted but again park wild justin's links will be in the description too and head over to patreon and that's it okay love you guys bye endless summer escapes start here travel the worlds of netflix irl inspired by fan favorites like stranger things and squid game brave the upside down face off with the front man play leveled up arcade games shop exclusive merch and enjoy themed food and drinks beat the heat play eat and shop with the front man repeat at netflix house at galleria dallas bring your crew and save get your tickets today at netflix.com slash house hank joined bj's wholesale club the day he became a father of 30 i coach football now coach hank saves up to 25 off grocery store prices 30 pounds of pasta three cases of protein bars 75 sports drinks and that's just pre-game he knows teamwork and bj's knows savings this is your home coach home of the save join for just 20 at bjs.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months open soon limited time offer new members only bj's home of the save