Milly Goldsmith: Building a $1M Brand, Dating Red Flags, & Being Chronically Single

They think being too picky has led me to being single for my whole life. But also, there's even been times where the guy I don't want to go on a third don't mean because his friends were taking a piss out of him. Like, oh, she's going to make content about you. And they're already judging me based off some videos online. So be it. Thank god. Move on. You're becoming an author at the same time as building a multi-million dollar brand, salt and being a creator. I'm doing everything I want to do in my life. So how can I complain? Cheers. So good. Henry, my co-founder, we-- so we melt hinge. We literally went from strangers to business partners overnight. You guys have done some pretty unconventional things, including the liquid IV. Yeah. Can we talk about that? We? People definitely did not like it online, but if people are talking about it, then that's what we need to do. I need to work with that in my therapist, for sure. If you had just synthesized how you can create an almost a million dollar brand in your first year, what would you distill that down to? I think a lot of brands get it wrong when they're creating content online for their product brand. And they speak in third person, like, to an audience. Salt's tone of voice is a person. It's not a product. As someone that's navigated, finding a co-founder on hinge, what is your rule as it relates to mixing business with pleasure? My rule is-- Hi, angels. Did you know that subscribing to our channel is free? It doesn't cost you anything, and it is the simplest way for you to support HotSmart Rich and help us grow, so that we can bring you more of the conversations you love. Let's hit the subscribe button below, and thank you. In case you missed it, you're allowed to be hot, smart, and rich, so let's get into it. Now, like old Smith, are you ready to eat HotSmart Rich? I'm so ready. So excited that you're here. You've been called Gen Z's Bridget Jones, and a lot of your content centers around being chronically single, but the most interesting thing to me is the business that you're actually building and the fact that you're becoming an author at the same time as building a multi-million dollar brand and being a creator. A lot of people listening are in their messy middle right now, and I think you have done such a phenomenal job figuring out how to turn mess into a brand. I think that you've built something really substantial without a big budget. You are a multi-hyphenate career woman that has so many different angles, and you're navigating single life in your 20s to a level that most people strive for. So that's the promise to the angels that if they listen to the episode in full, they will be able to do all of those things based on what you're going to share today as that fair. 100%. Have you done, actually, before we get into it, let's start by trying some salt. You tried it before, haven't you? I've tried it before because I am a huge electrolyte person. Mm-hmm. What was the fav you tried? I'm a watermelon person, so I'm trying watermelon berry, and I'm trying peach citrus. It's my favourite. Is it your favourite? Yeah. This was actually the best seller for the first full year, and then mango tropical is now taken over, which is interesting. So did you launch with multiple flavours or just one flavour? We launched with water and berry and peach citrus, and then mango tropical came out like eight months ago. Okay. Cheers. Cheers. That's right. It's so refreshing. It's so good. I love it. Oh, good. How many of these do you have a day? I'm training for a marathon moment, so I'm very active, so I have one probably like five times a week. Five times a week or five times a day? No. A week. So I won't have one every day. You don't? No. If I'm really active, or if I'm sweating like I've gone to the sauna, then I will definitely have one. Yeah, my body has swetted. That's really what it is, so. So you made this product and you've almost made a million dollars in your first year of launching the business. You had no investors. And not a ton of money that you put into this. How much money do you actually put in? We rate it in 10,000. If you had just synthesized how you can create an almost a million dollar brand in your first year with 16,000 pounds, what would you distill that down to? I think a lot of it has come down to the storytelling to, I mean, having a brand I've built for the past five years, like my social media, I grew it from lockdown, had a hundred thousand followers, and then I grew up to about 300 to 400 thousand when we launched. That was also a huge factor to like building salt, because I'd gained such trust from all my followers. So as soon as they saw me bring out a product, they obviously already knew who I was, what I loved doing. I was geometric athlete at that time. So they knew that I was into fitness, and it's also quite funny because the first three months of launching, we obviously didn't tell anyone it was like October to December. We were formulating the product. Throughout those three months, I put on my socials that I was really struggling to find a electric product that tasted good, had good ingredients in it, wasn't just like sport-focused or made by men, and I went on this like a let's write mission just to find the best tasting a let's light, full of knowing that I was making the best one behind behind the curtains. And my whole audience was so interested in it. They were also just completely like on my side, like, yeah, I not found an electric that tasted really good. Like, I'm not a fun one that I love, it all tasted really salty or really sweet, like there's never like the middle ground. So I was getting all of this feedback from my followers without them even knowing that I was creating a product, and we took all of their feedback, all of their notes, and we made the best tasting a let's light on the market. So when we launched in January, that's when I revealed like, hi guys, well, I'm going to make my own. Like, this is it. It's salt, and we got about, I think it's like 10,000 followers in the first two weeks or something. I know it was just like building in public, so we, we helped them decide, well, they helped us decide the slogan, the packaging, the color, the box, everything, like the flavors. And that really helps. Like when you're buying a product, you're buying into, you know, the person, but also like the effort and the work that you put into it. And so all these followers were putting in their like ounce of work into this product. So they were already buying into it without even seeing what the product was or what it tasted like when we launched with 16,000, it all just went to the branding and the product development. That literally was it. We didn't pay any money on paid ads or, you know, marketing any sort. It was all free as much as possible. We did lots of guerrilla marketing as well. We launched. And that's really how we, how we stood out from the other brands. So you have this idea, but you keep it secret while you're kind of force formulating the idea. Where did the idea initially even come from now? Henry Moco found a, we, do you know the story of how we met? Please share. So we Mount Hinge, which is so ironic because I have no luck on Hinge, it's ridiculous. Obviously knowing that my day to night was just complete as zero. But we Mount Hinge and my best friend, she, she was like the mutual person. So she wanted us to go on a date or whatever. Anyway, nothing came about of it. We actually met in person at this run club that I was leading for International Women's Day and he saw, he said that he saw the way that I was leading my community. And leading the whole group and he really was, you know, really impressed by it. So I think it was like four months after that, he, um, he messaged me, he said, do you want to go for a coffee? And at that point, I thought, is this guy else we on a date? Like, what is he going on there? But honestly, that coffee was the start of salt. So he, he said, like, I want to make a business with you. I've got this idea called index. And that was, yeah, the, the seed that planted salt, but we had a, a big conversation at that table. And we both agreed that there wasn't a lecture like that was for the middle market. What we call it for the people who love to work out, but also love to socialize and have a drink. Like, we don't, we don't deep life too much. So we were like, let's just, let's just do a latch like that fits in the middle. Let's just do that. Um, so that's what we did. So you was met on hench. The first date was at the run club. Yeah. So I could think, yeah. Did you play him on the first day? No. No. So immediately you were just like, this is platonic. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then so when he asked you for coffee, was there any romantic vibe? When they were already you were like, we're just going to be friends. It was, it was an immediate like, okay, this is business. We, we literally went from strangers to business partners overnight. We didn't know each other. We didn't know how each other worked. I had no idea who he was really. And we shook hands on this business idea and we went straight in. For whatever reason I didn't feel scared. I didn't feel like this was a huge risk I was taking. Like, I really believed in the product from day one. And I knew that I wanted to build something. I didn't want to rely on. So I came at the right time. It really did. Yeah. I'm laughing because there was so many times in my professional career when I was single that I was always around really hyper ambitious, successful men being in like the VC world and entertainment. And oftentimes it would get confusing because especially with coffee dates. It's like, are you asking me there because there's maybe a romantic interest or are you asking me there because you value my credentials? And I always get this question now from the angels. I just answered it on a recent solo of like, would you date someone that you met through work? And I'm curious for you, as someone that's kind of navigated this really interesting way of finding a co-founder on hinge, people are now starting to use LinkedIn as a way to find someone that can match their ambition. What is your rule or your principle of thinking as it relates to like mixing business with pleasure? My rule is to never mix it, like never, because my business is my life. So I really want to protect any ounce of my life that I don't need to monetize or I can't monetize, you know. And I think I really value in my, my own time at home, like I love my dog, I love my friends, I have a lot of my friends on in the industry. And that gives me that space to just shut off because being a content creator, being online, it is consuming every single day 24/7. And there is no way in how that I could, I could date a man that is also. a person I work with, like that would be crazy 'cause my work like balances out the window already and I need someone that could bring me back down to earth, take me away from work, laugh about silly things and not always just talk about business 'cause I don't think I'd trust myself having being in relationship with someone who is in the same industry or in my sort of business world because I love work, I can work obsessed and I don't think I'd be able to shut up and I don't think that's necessarily healthy. So that is my rule, rule number one, don't, I'm not dating a content creator, I'm not gonna date a person who I'm working with and my team but I also have to realize like I can't be too picky 'cause I think being too picky has led me to being single for my whole life. - Now that you've worked with Henry for over a year, do you think that you would have been a good fit romantically or no? - No, why? - I really realize no. We are so passionate in what we do and we're very alike in so many ways, like we're both ADHD, we're both very all on nothing that can clash when you're trying to make decisions in business or even when you're just working in the office and you're both really stressed. But I think that's the same with any sort of business that has a co-founder, you're both so passionate about something that you wanna do everything, you wanna put your heart and soul into it and sometimes if the co-founder or the other person isn't aligned with that, where do you go after that, you know? So yeah, I think it's just business purely and I mean he's amazing what he does, he's amazing guy, he really takes value into people and into the business and into the future and it's so admirable but nothing more than that, but you guys are good co-founders. - Yeah, we are good co-founders, yeah. There's definitely days where we do have our arguments for sure, but I think and I think it has surprised me a lot because I was very naive with how a business works that alone how you work with someone else. Like I've never had a colleague in my life, I've never worked, I've worked in retail for like a few months but that was really it, I've always just been my own boss. So that change in dynamic was really half me to adjust. Having someone tell me what to do, I was like, no I'm gonna do it this way. What I've learned a lot this year is how to work with someone without stepping on their toes or without, you know, feeling like they don't value your opinion, it's always about compromise, always about compromise. It really is like a marriage, but just in business. And I know I read and understand that before going in and obviously not having ever had a relationship, it's weird knowing that this is kind of my first relationship and it's very intense and it's very felon. I hope that it's giving me a lot of lessons for when I go into like actual romantic relationships as well. - What are the things that you would tell the younger version of you if you were starting a business are like the red flags or the watch out to the questions to ask if you're thinking about who to bring in as a co-founder of your business. - When you've got a lot of followers online, there's always gonna be that ulterior motive, like what do they want from this? Are they really in it because they value you or are they just wanting to take your followers and take your community and run? - It's hard, it's really hard to know who to trust in this day and age, it really is. - But it's also just trusting my gut. I think gut is such a powerful tool that I use and it's hard to teach how to trust your gut. You know, you just have that feeling and you just gotta roll with it. And I think also, I do sometimes ignore a lot of advice from people because I think people's advice is always just dependent on what they've gone through and what they've experienced and that is so different to what I'm gonna go through and what I'm going to experience. So I take a lot of people's advice for the pinch of salt, even if it does fail, that doesn't mean I've failed. I'm not gonna take a person in which it's gonna take as a lesson and that's the end of the day. - I often see the best co-founder dynamics be like, even my sister and I, right? Like we're both co-founders of the business, but like I'm definitely the face of it. And truthfully, I started a year before she joined, but like she owns 50% now, just like I do. And so I'm curious for you as someone who obviously had a platform and you brought a lot of like the creator face to it. Now that you guys both build in public, like what are the roles and responsibilities that you really own that or versus what Henry owns? Like how do you decide that? So that there isn't that weird crossover of like, well, I thought that was my role. I thought I was a storyteller and like, you're doing the operations. - To be true for you, Nesta has been that we're making a role and we're like, I thought I was doing that. But again, that is just, we're both doing this for the first time. We're really just learning how each of the work still. On the surface, like I am the storyteller and the content creator and the person who is I guess like, I don't know even the face of the brand 'cause Henry is also, but I lead the story online. I help a lot with like the growing and marketing ideas and a lot of the gamification that we use on emails, but Henry is very much situated in the business side of it, the numbers, the ops, you know, he talks, he has main comms with our manufacturers, but we both come together when it comes to creating the product, agreeing on what we want to do next, where the business is going to be in two, three, four years time. We also love our high production videos. We come together with that and create ideas with that. So we both tap into the creator side. Henry is more of the op side for sure. And I've definitely tried to dip my toe in there and understand what's going on in the business, 'cause I really want to learn, I really want to have, you know, that business savvy mindset in very stressful times, not to just leave Henry to do it. And I'll ask him later on, I'll be like, what's actually happening? I think though that like as organizations change, like you guys have done some pretty unconventional things, including the way that you hire people and you don't use CVs, you use videos to hire people. Like that is probably in my opinion, like the heartbeat of the organization, 'cause if you don't have people to build your business, like you really don't have a business, right? And to give you your flowers, like that is a very creative way and a very unconventional way to hire people. Where did the thought come to only hire people based on a video submission? - Yeah, so I mean, way before so existed, I was always trying to look for a PA or some sort of, you know, what'd you call like a founder assessment? - Yes. - And I never ever looked at CVs because I always thought it's so much easier to like write about your ability than to show your ability. And I literally think that a lot of the CVs and cover letters are all just AI generated. And also people will then go through those CVs with AI. So it's really just computer, talking to a computer. That was always implanted in my head. And then when we actually wanted to hire for our new social content lead, we both thought like we hate reading CVs. There are always people like sending our CVs and it's amazing, but we just never go through them. We just don't, we hate it. So we thought when we just see this one guy actually post a video saying that she would love to work for us and that sort of planted the seed in our heads and we were like, okay, well maybe this could be a strategy that we can use. Like we definitely didn't think it was gonna blow up the way it did, but we thought let's just put a video up. No CVs, no cover letters. And people just got the memo straight away. We definitely weren't anticipating a lot of people building it on socials. We thought they were gonna just send us a video in our DMs or in our emails or we transfer over. But it became this domino effect of social content. It was a completely free marketing strategy that ended up going viral. And we were very stunned, honestly we were. But we just rolled with it. So this is the thing when it comes to salt, we don't really plan much at all. We just sort of react and see what happens and see how people respond and then go with it. So with this first video, it got loads of views. We had a load of people uploading their sort of CVs online. And I saw that and I was like, okay, well, let's make this three, four, five part series. That's like follow along with them and update them as we're going and show that we're live in action. That's what we did. And we made it this whole five part series. And then when we actually hired our person, we didn't wanna announce how yet. We wanted to keep it a little bit of a secret 'cause people were so interested and engaged. Our next few videos we had a hiding in the background, just walking around, making a salt. No one really noticed it was higher then. And then we told her to do a mission, which is to hand out as many salt sachets as possible so she'd dress up in disguise and a granny outfit, went to this run club, hand out load of salt. And then we finally announced her by getting this billboard saying salt's new higher with an arrow pointing down as she was just sitting under there with her laptop. And it's just stuff like that that we have so much fun with. And I think that's why people love salt because it's kind of just like an influencer. We just treat it as like another influencer page. - Is that how you like think about it? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think like salt's tone of voice is a person. It's not a product. Like I think a lot of brands get it wrong when they're creating content online for their product or their brand. And they kind of speak in third person or they speak like to an audience whereas like we're speaking to the person who is just seeing this story right now. And it's coming from me and Henry. It's not coming from salt the product. Are you having a lot of fun building the business? - Love it so much. Of course it is so hard. And I think like navigating my book writing with building salt with just normal content has been so hard. That's been probably the hardest thing I think about this whole thing. But when me and Henry come together and we fire across ideas and we're working together and we're just being a little bit silly, it's so fun. It's like being in fact at school. We say it's like a school project. - I just asked all of you guys this one question. What is the one thing holding you and your team back from using AI properly? The answers were fascinating because everyone was basically circling the same problem, the same one that I had. They don't know where to start. People said things like we don't know the right prompts. We don't know how set up an AI agent. Our systems don't talk to each other. 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Because if someone is already buying from you, that's a completely different moment than someone casually watching your content. It means that they trust you, they're paying attention, they're already in checkout mode. So instead of sending everyone to one link and hoping for the best, Stan helps you create a smarter buying journey. And with order bumps, someone can add something extra at checkout with one click. If you are building a creator business, this is the kind of thing you should be obsessed with, like every brand founder is. I'll let you in on one secret. The top earners on Stan all do this. Sign up today to set up your funnels and order bumps and get started with a 30 day creator pro trial at link.stand.store. - Slash Maggie. - It's so interesting because I always say, like you can't compete with someone that's having a good time. And that's why I thought you beside me at the dinner that I did in London, because I had not heard about you, but I had heard about salt. And so when a bunch of names got surfaced to me of like, who do you? And I was like, this brand is so fun. I'm curious as you are taking so many risks and doing so many things that like traditional business people are telling you not to do, how do you handle not knowing when something might not work out by doing it anyway? - I think I'm just so used to it being content creator for five years. I know that it's not going to be everyone's bread and butter, it's not going to be everyone's taste. And that doesn't bother me at all. We're not trying to be a product that everyone loves and that can be in everyone's kitchen cupboards. It's just like, I always say I am the customer. So whatever I post, wherever I do, wherever we decide, will I like it as a consumer, as a viewer? And that is my decision, like that's the only way we decide how to do things. Sometimes Henry's like, no, we need to be a bit more cooler, we need to be a bit more like professional. But then I do just think like, Henry, it's not us. Like it's not us, people buy into people. They don't buy into the product at the end of the day. Of course, like the product has to be amazing, it has to be good. But like you said, like you loved the people behind it, you loved how fun it was and that's what got your attention. And I think that's the same with a lot of people. I just think like, I just do what I want to do. Like that's literally it. You don't ever think it at all. I'm like, a lot of like social media. It's so fast pays nowadays. People forget it in a week's time. So it's really not that big of a deal. If anything, you know, does go tits up or get people get offended. But whenever we never crossed the line too much, we literally just have fun with it. Honestly, that's literally it. - What about the liquid AV? - Yeah. - Can we talk about that? - So yeah, I think it was during London marathon. Liquid AV, which was obviously an American brand. They had a huge activation at a London event. Like a huge London event and we thought like, that doesn't sit right. Like, where are UK run brand? Why is salt not making a move? Why is salt not, you know, being seen at a huge London event? So me and him, we dressed up under the skies. We had our, the oldest hats on. We had our hivers on. We had our salt truck and we went in pretending that we were just going to fix some electricians or whatever. I don't know what our plan was. We didn't have anything, anything scripted. But we went in and we had our salt. We had a huge salt sachet and a fatable thing. Have we just made some noise? And we were filming it. I had my metaglasses on. And it was just a really funny idea that we had. And then we just walked out and that was it. Like, it didn't cause any havoc, it didn't cause any drama. Online it did, a lot of people definitely did not like it online. But again, like, anything that is controversial, anything that is, you know, you think that might be a little bit dangerous or in the danger zone is something that we're going to do because we know that if people are talking about it, then that's what we need to do. Bad press is still good press. Exactly, yeah. But you guys chose to leave the hate comments up on your host. Why? Because I think as soon as you start to delete them, they're controlling the narrative. I'm not going to try changing it. I'm not going to, you know, feel defeated by deleting them and feel scared. Like, I'm going to leave them there. Because I think that's what a lot of haters online want. They want you to react. And I always say, like, just leave it. It doesn't matter. It's fine. So my theory is that this is our store online, right? And why would I let someone that's new to the brand see a comment that could negatively influence them? If they don't know anything about me and the first thing that they see is, like, hot smart rich is so toxic. I absolutely hate what you guys are doing. I have to do X, Y, and Z. Like, to me, that's where the analogy of, like, you should be able to delete comments comes in. But I think you're so right that some of the time, like you have to piss off 80% of the people to find your 20% of people that are really made for you. Have you ever identified as a people pleaser? The worst people pleaser ever, which is really interesting because in my business world, it's, like, I don't really care, but in my personal world, I'm very hung up about upsetting people. And I've always tried to understand why that is. I don't really know if it's because I removed myself as a media goalsmith, mini goalsmith in my business and just, you know, have such a tunnel vision that I wanna not be affected or pivoted by anyone else, but me and my decision. And then I think when it comes to, yeah, my personal life, I think I take it very personally. So I don't know why, I don't know why that is. I need to work with that through my therapist, for sure. - Well, I also think you're a personal brand. How would you describe your personal brand? Like, Millie Goldson. - Chronic Overshara, very vulnerable. It says that how it is. And very normal, I think. That's how I describe it. I just recently read this dot that 88% of audience say that they want authenticity from influencers, which I think that you give. But you've also said now that online vulnerability has become so oversaturated and people are almost weaponizing it against communities to just, like, get followers and to gain traction. So I guess, like, how do you balance being an overshare and leading through vulnerability and also knowing that, like, this is now something that so many people are doing. 'Cause it feels so organic to you. - Yeah, I definitely have a hard time with it because it is starting to come a trend and anything that's trending. I mean, as soon as I start social media, I always just didn't want to hop on trends. I knew that, like, that wasn't going to get me the audience that I wanted to build. It wasn't going to make me feel like I can connect with anyone because a trend is literally just something that's built by someone else. That is getting loads of numbers and hitting the algorithm and everyone else is going to get on it and that's where you're going to get lost in that group of saturation. So I always wanted to go against that and now when it comes to vulnerability, like it is becoming this weird trend, then I think people are recognizing that it does attract people, attract audiences, it attracts, you know, the numbers. So when you've got that intention, you're going to hop on to it and, again, I don't want to hop on a trend. So I'm now conflicted between being myself and just doing what I know works or my page and doing what my followers want and what I want and then avoiding trends and, you know, trying not to get lost in the sea of other people online. For example, with my book, I launched it in April and I was like, how can I promote this book that isn't selling a product? Like it doesn't come across as, you know, just for selling. How can I make this book feel like really true me and how can I connect this book to everyone else who's watching? So I created these high production sort of book trailers and they were basically like opening scenes to some of my favourite chapters of the book and it really encapsulates like the feeling and the emotion that I capture in the book and people have loved it. They really loved it. Convert your question, I think, is always just, I always post content with what I feel in that very moment. I never, again, I can never plan it. I never think about hooks or, you know, how long is this gonna be? Like what are people gonna take from this? Like I just think on the sport and what I feel and I think that really comes across. So that's where I get that authenticity in the content. How do you protect your creativity? Scrolling is definitely a no-go. I mean, it's really hard because there are definitely times where I'm stuck for ideas and I'm trying to think of what to post and I'm not doing anything but it's because I'm stuck inside trying to force something. If I go outside and I actually just live, that's what's gonna trick my creativity and it's gonna get me flowing again. It's getting out of this rut of social media that I definitely get myself lost in as well. That's just where I get my creativity from. In conversations as well, we're talking to people, coming in podcasts like this, like talking to strangers, I always try and talk to some stranger a day. Like whenever I go to New York, it's so easy to do that. So I always try and bring that sort of energy back to London. And I really just try and like, express any part of myself to a stranger and they can do the same and I'll always get something from that. I think a lot of people nowadays want to be these multi-hiphonet creative entrepreneurs that can jump between, like, being an author and building a brand and doing content. Like how do you actually structure your days to be able to. to do all of that and stay creative for so many different haves of projects. This is something I don't know the answer to because I can't just focus on one thing. I'm always trying to do multiple things at once. If I'm doing one thing, I feel like I'm wasting time because I need to do another thing. So that's what's in the back of my head. And then when I start doing that thing, I feel like there's another thing that pops up in my head. So I'll have to just do that quickly before I forget. It's a constant cycle. So the way that I try and structure my days is I mean, I'll always go on and walk in the morning with my dog. That is like the one time I don't look at my phone, I listen to podcasts, I listen to hot smart rant, love you. I always start with my socials, replying to my DMs, seeing what my followers are saying. And then I'll go more to like the business side, so soul, see what's in the emails. And then I'll see what happens after that. If anything pops up, which is usually always like a new problem or a new ad that's come in for my manager, there's always something. I'll have to just like do one hour of of soul or one hour of my business, work, anything like that, and just focus on that. Recently, I've been trying to do two, three days a week of soul and anything outside of those days, I'm not so at all. So I'm doing anything else like my book, my content, my ads. And that is really helping me because it's making me, you know, not feel like I have to do everything at once. Because I really struggle with that, I struggle with prioritising everything, like everything feels like I have to do it now. I'm not going to, I haven't had a weekend in a while, apart from last weekend, just gone. And I'm really trying to get better at that because I mean, I've hit rock bottom many times from burnout. And it's not good. It's not good for me, it's not good for my creativity, it's not good for people around me. And I really don't want to get into that right again. So I'm trying to incorporate, you know, at least a Saturday where I can just do anything but work and see my friends, whether it's in evening or in the morning, going to run. There's always just something that I'm trying to just do that isn't work. So the book is called Things I Told My Notes Up. How would you describe that as someone that's listening to it for the first time and why it became a bestseller in a week? I always describe it as if someone who's just opening up my journal and you're reading it and you feel like you're reading something, it shouldn't be reading, but you're so lost in it that you just keep, you have to keep reading. I think it's a diary that covers everything from family dynamics to going to a girl school, to being a single one whole life and dating and boys. Anything that you can imagine that a 20-year-old person will go through, I explain it in a very digestible way, but also from like a psychological way. I just say go to uni. I love psychology. I love theories. So I've come up with a few little theories in the book and I love to just think outside the box. And I love metaphors. I love metaphors. So there's a lot of metaphors in the book. I think it really helps people like conceptualize very hard topics that they try to navigate in their 20s into something that's just like very easy and digestible. So yeah, it's a very relatable book. I think a lot of people will probably see it as something that is, like, an oversharing book for sure. And I think I agree, but I don't mind it. I really don't. I don't mind people knowing about my entire life. So when you're thinking about this being your notes app, how does it actually turn into a best-selling book? I think, I mean, there was so much trashy behind this. I mean, already the titan itself, things I talk about notes are. It's something that every single person who has my phone can relate to. I know that a lot of people will have very unhinged, weird, random things that they put in their notes app. So opening someone's diary is very, very intimate. And I think a lot of people on this planet are very nosy when it comes to people's lives and what they're thinking, what they're doing. And so when you have access to someone's diary, it feels, it feels like you shouldn't have access to that. It feels like something that, you know, it's quite rare to have access to. So when I was writing this book, I always had that in the back of my head like, I don't want to write this with the intention of talking to someone. I want to talk to myself. I think that's what helps people feel so drawn to the book because when they're reading it, it does feel like they're almost talking to themselves as well. It's not like, you know, it's, it's not like there's this wall between me and the reader. It's the reader reading their words essentially. So that was also a huge thing for me. Like, I wanted to have this feeling of the book. I wanted to give off this emotion that people can always connect to. I think it's very different to your usual cover. It's very simple. And with everything I've gone about in my career, I always want to do something different. I always want to go against the grain. So when I was going into all these bookshops, there was such crazy book covers, loads of colors, loads of huge titles, letters and everything. And so I thought, like, that's just strip of that. Let's have more empty space and let's, let's just do one title and a little bit of a sub-title than that's it. And I think that's what stands out as well. Steven Bertlett actually came on the show and talked a lot about how embarrassment is the praise of entry. And to be successful, admired, inspirational to people, it always starts off being really embarrassing. And if you're not willing to pay the embarrassment praise of entry, like you will never get to where you want to go. When you think about what you just wrote and the word embarrassment, how pivotal is that word to your success in your career and into your life? Completely agree, Steven. It's the main thing that has got me through the door. Every single thing that I've done, I mean, I started posting on Instagram off the back of my eating disorder, I literally, I, I hid this secret for about eight years and I, I shed online to about two thousand people. And that was the most embarrassing I could have done in that moment. And then I'd started to promote weight gain, which was again, something that no one did. No one was talking about weight gain or, you know, how great it was. How it's healthy to, to gain weight. And all of these things were like the most embarrassing thing in the moment, even like when I suffer with acne and, and I go out or I post a picture online, that is so embarrassing for me, but I know that that is just making me connect to the person on the other side of the screen. And that is what's got me to worry on today. It's that connection. It's that vulnerability. And this concept of embarrassment doesn't really exist. It's really just like your insecurity in the spotlight. There's this phenomenon of, like, all the spotlight effect where we always think people are looking at us. Like, we know if we're walking outside on the street, your first instinct is you think that everyone's judging you. But really, it's just like it's you judging yourself. You don't know what people are thinking. You have no idea. The only information that you have is what you're thinking to yourself in that moment. And you just assume that everyone else is thinking what you're thinking. So really, it's just, embarrassment is just you judging yourself. So if soon as you strip that away, embarrassment doesn't exist. So are you not embarrassed by things anymore? I definitely do get embarrassed, though, because I do still judge myself, which is learning. It's a lesson that I'm going to continue to learn throughout my life. But oh my gosh, I am way less embarrassed than I used to be. I feel like you have talked about being chronically single as like a badge of honor. How do you actually feel about being single? I think, oh, it comes and goes. It really does. Like, some days I absolutely love it. I really do. I really thrive being single. I love being independent. Like, I love just doing what I do. It's amazing. But there's moments where I definitely feel lonely. I mean, I live by myself. So sometimes like, no, I'm just like, it's quite lonely. Or there's times when I go to my best friends wedding, and I don't have a plus one, you know, obviously during Valentine's Day and all the like those sort of holidays is when I really sort of reflect. And I think I'm 28. I've still never had a boyfriend. Is this ever going to change? Because I do think I've become so comfortable with my own company now that I think I'm scared of doing anything different. Like it's being a relationship and sharing my life with someone else feels very abnormal and very unknown. And I definitely fear the unknown a lot. I do get worried that this is going to be me forever. And I think there are parts of me that I shouldn't get worried because so what? Like, it doesn't matter. But I do, I would love to, you know, feel love and I would love to be loved. And yeah, I would love to just, I'd love to experience a human emotion that a majority of the world experience. You know, I feel, I feel this sort of sense of FOMO when, like knowing that I've been single for this long. But when I talk about it online, like it really does make me feel so empowered because there are so many people out there who love being single and all their questioning single and I'm helping them, you know, thrive in their single head. But yeah, don't get me wrong. I definitely, I definitely have my, my downtime and my, my sad days sometimes. If it makes you feel better, I loved being single. Like I thought it was so fun and you get to do whatever you want. Like no one's like make, you don't have to compromise. And I also just felt like I learned so much about myself through being single. And I know you did something very similar to what I did actually right before I met my husband, which is like I did not date anyone for six months. I was like, I am literally not going on dating apps. I'm not going on one single date. I am just going to like fall back in love with myself. And it really helped me understand like what I actually wanted. With something that you're still struggling with, do you think that you can be confident and like genuinely enjoy the process while you hold those two emotions at the same time? I mean, then today I'm, I do, I have so much fun in my life. Like I'm doing everything I want to do in my life. I generally think like you said, like I've learned so much about myself. I, I haven't had to rely on any sort of external validation to make me feel like my cup is full. I haven't had to, I mean, don't get me wrong. Like my whole eating disorder was was purely based on the fact that I needed male attention, I wanted male validation, and I thought that the answer to that was to change my body. I don't, I do think that like if I had a relationship during those dark times, would I have built such a strong inner voice in myself that could tell me that I am worth and like worthy enough? Like would I have relied too heavily on another person's opinion of me, that my opinion of myself might not hold held so much value? I don't know, and I think my opinion of myself is my opinion because it's so strong and I feel like I feel like nothing can change that. Hot Smart Rich isn't just the name of this podcast. It's a lifestyle, let me explain. I used to actually lack the motivation to work out until I got addicted to the feeling of what it felt like once I was done, just moving my body. However, to help me get there, I really needed to change exactly what I was going to wear to make myself get excited about getting into the gym and moving my body. When I look my best, I feel more confident. A slick hypony, a little lip gloss, and the right gym fit. 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So go to 8thsleep.com/HSR and use code HSR for up to $200 off the new pod six. - Have you seen a lot of this discourse online about like desendering men? - Yeah. - What does that mean? - It basically means to take them off the pedestal and put yourself all night instead. When I think about desendering men, I think about all the times that I had centred men in my life. So for example, my eating disorder, just doing anything like eating certain foods for men because all like not wearing my hair in plates because men didn't like plates. Like everything was centred around men. And that is basically what you have to do. You have to just desend to them. You have to take their opinion out of the equation. It does not matter. And you put your opinion at the forefront of your life. And that's what you run where. People almost say can desendering men is just thinking that you have to just not like men in general. And that's not the case that you can still date whilst desendering men. It means like you go on a date, you don't put a lot of pressure on it, you leave. If they haven't text you, that's fine. - It's a matter. - They don't hold the narrative. They don't hold your words just because they haven't texted you. It is just being so comfortable around them that anything that they say or do will not faze you. And it's really helped in my personal life also in my business life as well. And my people pleasing traits 100%. Do you feel like now that you are so vulnerable and like anyone you're dating can read your mouth like were you nervous about that at all? - Oh yeah, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's even been times where I've gone on I think it was like the second day. And then I found out through a friend that the guy didn't want to go on a third day because his friends were taking a piss out of him about my content. And they were like, oh, she's gonna make content about you. And I was just like, these boys, these boys are ridiculous. But I do definitely understand. Like I come with a lot of baggage now with my whole entire life online. But like I said, I'm not gonna change myself for anyone. I'm not gonna change my career. I'm not gonna be anything different just to please a guy. 'Cause if I did, that would be centering them. So I'm just gonna let it roll. - I think the same as so true. Like I definitely lived a lot of my single fun life online. And even my husband like the first in that he was sent by a friend was my videos. And he actually had a different perception of me than what he said I'm like. He was like, at the time, I was really only doing B2B, like business, investing content. And he was like, truthfully I thought that you were gonna be like a little full of yourself. And like very know it all. And I don't know if I would have really worked with someone like that. But I was really willing to give you a shot because I thought that you had really good energy. So it's interesting because I feel like the perception of people online can actually be very different. But being with someone who understood what I'm trying to do, the mission of Hawksmer Rich, why I'm trying to make women a hotter smarter richer, he was able to like because he was an entrepreneur, see the value in what I was doing. And it wasn't like, oh, you're just wanting to like gain a following, you're actually trying to change things. So I'm curious for you as now an entrepreneur, a bestselling author, creator, like there's so many hats that you're wearing. When you think about the ideal person that can support you and like really lift you up and not take away, like what do you think that person would be? Having multiple businesses and being the women I am can come across quite daunting, quite intimidating. And so that's already filtering out all of the insecure guys. If anyone, if any guys is already concerned about my content, already judging me based off some videos online, that haven't even met me in person. So be it, thank God, move on. That security, that confidence, that willingness to help out whenever, you know, I might need some pictures taken or a video taken or they'll understand the world of social media and that just because I'm on my phone doesn't mean I'm ignoring you, I'm actually working. My mum also thinks that I'm just scrolling my phone and I'm not doing anything, but really there is such intention behind everything I do. And I need them to value that. And I need a guy who is also doing their own thing, that they're busy themselves, that they're not hung up about my busyness and we will come together and will, whenever we're not working, we'll have the best time ever because it's our time to de-stress and to not think about anything work-related. So when I think about all of those traits, it probably is painting a picture of a businessman or someone who loves traveling and can travel the world with me. But I think I'm asking for a lot. I really don't. Probably an older guy, to be honest as well. I think there's a lot of a rich old man who will not be able to handle me. - Do you want a guy that's watched your social media to lie about it or to tell you like, I actually know a lot about you. And I would appreciate them to just tell me, to be honest, if they ask me what I do, I'll be very top-line. I just haven't had an actual business, do a bit of content, but I wouldn't tell them my name, I wouldn't say milligols with, I'll always say, a milligols man, so I hope that they won't find me. But again, it's really weird thing to navigate because I don't know if they're dating me for me or if they're dating me because they love that attention online or if they, I mean, I've got many business pitches on dates, which is a no-go for me. - Like for people that you invest in their company? - Well, or they think like, what should I do for this business? What do you think I should do? And although it's amazing, I'm just like, that's, it's not great for the first date. I don't know what your intentions are here. So I'm trying to, yeah, read the room in a fair way, but honestly, I have to just try and like, own it and be confident. I think as soon as I show them that, I'm a little bit nervous about my job, it might come across like, I'm judging myself and then it might open them to judge myself in a way. So I just try and be as confident as I can and just sort of own it. - Has Henry ever introduced you to someone to go on a date? - No, Henry. - I know, he never watched that. - I do ask him, but I think some of his friends, I just love that now. - There are no three, yeah. - Yeah, you need a little bit older. - Yeah, if you can, yeah. - What are some big red flags on a date where if like a woman's listening to this and she feels like she's settling, she should walk away? - I think about it. God, who just doesn't support you? Who is jealous? Who doesn't, yeah, big you up. It was in your number one fan. That's number one red flag, 100%. If they don't have any hobbies, to be honest, I think if they're purely work driven, then that's all the past 90s, I think there's not much going for them. You don't want a baby, a man, you don't want to have to mother them. So I say that's not the red flag. I also think, I mean, the obvious ones, like any guy who doesn't give you any time of day, who doesn't text you frequently or isn't checking up on you, or I mean, it turns out your love languages, like I really appreciate someone who, it just gives me that time of day or just gives me thoughtful things, whether it's like getting me a coffee, whenever I didn't think about it, or just helping convenience my life a bit more. That's what I really value. So it's just that extra thought that I really value. So I think a guy who isn't doing that, I don't think I can really align with. - What about like first date red flags? Anyone who's rude? to staff. Absolutely, no I go. Anyone who doesn't really ask many questions, always talks about themselves, I think that's a sign of a narcissist I've heard through many podcasts. So that's an only, yeah, big reflag. I think just someone who's just very arrogant, I really don't like arrogance in a guy. Like I said, like I am very picky so I'm actually trying to learn to not read into too much and just be very open-minded and not take the first day as the bill render, like I really want to give guys a chance. So I think a red flag would be if they didn't want to go on a second date, to be honest. I'd love to get a red flag. Okay, Millie Goldsmith, is there anything else that we haven't talked about that you would be sad to leave the set of parts of my regi if we didn't? It's not normal to know what you want to do in your life. You have to trial so different things nor to find what kicks with you. It has kind of worked in my favor. It's been very sort of easy with the way that my charisma progressed and I'm very like aware of how lucky I'm with that. If that hadn't gone about then I would still be doing what I'm doing today, which is just trying anything, trying absolutely anything whether you have no experience or whether you have no knowledge in what you're doing. The best way to learn is to just try and to ask people and to meet as many people as you can, have conversations as strangers and just put yourself out there. Being like this entrepreneur and this business woman now, like I've really learned that getting in front of as many people as possible is so valuable and it's a lot about who you know as well. Do you believe that saying now that your net worth is your network? Yeah, I do. I think from what I've seen from Henry side as well, like Henry knows so many people and how we've built salt and how we boot shopped it all is a lot through the network that we've got through asking people with the billboard. We know people who run a billboard company or we know people who like some in square, like he knows people so it's it's a lot about who you know for sure and that's one thing I didn't know about the the business world is kind of how rely on it is on that and so I think people can really take advantage of that. I think everyone can can meet as many people as possible whether it's through a DM, a phone call, a LinkedIn message, like everyone has access to everyone. So really take a bunch of that with that access. What is something that breaks through the messages that would actually get you to respond or take the time to like share a really differentiated piece of advice when you are so inundated as someone that's busy. I think anything that's just easy makes my life easy. So whether it's a video, for example, or whether it's something creative, like someone sending a personalized letter that is it's very personal to me and I don't know say someone sent me a letter about, you know, hope you had a lovely festival or watch your content over with love to help you out on maybe your next outfits or say if it's like a phone charger, I would love to build your personalized bespoke phone charger that can you know make your life so much easier in xyz, like it's always about making my life easier I think for me. So yeah, I'm always looking for creativity, I'm always looking for people who just know me, I don't want to have to ask many questions and I want to just yeah, I want to be able to just say yes there and then and meet up with a for a coffee. Okay, Millie Goldsmith, let's do some fun rapid fire. Perfect. What is the last thing you put on your credit card? I think it was my food shop. Love? Yeah. My oven has food shop. What is the most expensive last thing you put on your credit card? It does my rent count. Yeah, love that. Okay, where's place for a first date? The worst place for a first date. Oh my god, a dingy pub. What is the best first message a guy can send on a dating app? Oh, something witty and fun, and sarcastic. I love sarcasm. Is there anything that is kind of self-deprecated? Okay, love. I can grant you one wish. Jo and the Jews carry salt tomorrow or you meet your husband tomorrow. I meet my husband tomorrow. Yeah, I'm gonna do it. I grant that wish. Love. What are you more nervous for? A first date or a big pitch meeting for salt? A big pitch meeting for salt. Would you rather be misunderstood or judged? Misunderstood. No, judged. I really, being misunderstood is like a really hard feeling for me to just sit with. I really, really don't want to be misunderstood, but being judged I can deal with because if I'm not judging myself, it's fine. That's what it matters. If you had to title this season of your life, what would it be called? This is already just the beginning of that. Yeah. You are such a reiner. I think a long time to think. Just riff it off. Okay, and if you had to tell yourself one, you just are a love note for the rest of your life, what would it be? Yeah, I love, which I always say twice every day, is because I'm very decisive, I'll always say, ready is not a feeling it's a decision. And so if there's anything that I'm trying to decide on or like even with this podcast, I did not feel ready to come on. I was like, oh my god, I'm not ready. I like give me a few more years, and I'll come back with like a light of knowledge onto my belt. So does that count? Yeah, I love that. Yeah, that's what I say. Okay, Millie Goldsmith, where can people find you and how can ages are help you? You can find me on Instagram, TikTok, Mini Goldsmith, or drink salt. You can also find my book on Amazon, Waterstones, Kindle, Apple Birk, Spotify, called the Intertominates app, and hate your saw could help me by getting salt in America. Love it. We'll welcome you. If people that are listening to this, then we can try to start underway. Do you have like a dream list of retailers to go into? I mean, whole foods would be amazing. Then coffee, loving junk, the juice would be amazing. Like gyms, equinox, just take over the world. Love it. Love it. Millie Goldsmith, thank you so much for coming on. We love you. Love you. Thank you. [Music]