Millennial Optimism & A Lush Bath Bomb

fall never arrives all at once first the air then the light and slowly the things you love begin to find each other a jacket meets a dress a hoodie slips beneath a blazer an old cap finds a new scarf because you don't simply step into the season you create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall find fall your way at ross hey guys hey hey hey welcome back to the podcast i don't think i've ever said that before i don't know why it's just like i'm just feeling so happy to just look like an absolute mess today like i'm actually serving you i don't know i'm serving you something well i'm serving you doppelganger because i'm just gonna like address it at the top of the episode which is the fact that yes maya and i do see the same hair girl um right right well you know we have to share some no well and it's just like yes but also like oh my god guys like she's the only person that can cut a shag so i'm just feeling i'm resource guarding a little bit i'm sorry i told her well i told her this i was like if you ever moved to new york or something like i would be royally fucked like you don't understand um because i would have to go back to getting like the rabidabo like do which is the wag like over the side haircut yeah um and was like no if i ever move like just know i would come back to l.a that's what she'd be saying but i'm like you know the the east be calling her yeah but i was like i would genuinely fly to new york just to get my hair cut i would be like it would just be kind of me like this no honestly though like mine just a little long right now too like i could kind of do like a pony if i'm being real no i definitely can mine's how long god that's the difference you know she love ashaga she no and i did i did tell her i needed like more taper in the back and we took it there and we took it there and i was like um it might be a hair bias but yeah no it does look good i mean no it does look really good i really like it and i'm happy to have my natural hair color again because right love blue and if you're thinking about dying your hair also for everyone who's asked i don't know what the exact color is but i'm happy to have my natural hair color again the blue was i just know that the brand was provana but the tea is when you go blue or do any color i don't know if it was specifically that dye just because it was so like pigmented like honestly my hair like barely faded like maybe a little in the front but for the most part it was like barely faded and barely faded um i don't know why that it's okay it doesn't matter what matters is the fact that um with that dye it looked like a fucking murder scene every single time i washed my hair and the dye got everywhere yeah can i say that and so i couldn't wear white for a really long time yeah that's real or honestly anything besides like you know some emo ass colors which is fine it's fine love to the gills no and that's like real as hell um so anyways right off the top that's real right off the top i had to say right i got the maya no i'm like i just got the yixi like i don't know yeah um no i do yeah i got the chaletta it is nice because then you kind of like don't ever have to do your hair which is kind of cool well and the thing i miss the most is just being able to wash my hair as much as i want oh because the blur yeah i would like try not to and then at one point i was literally well also my hair was so grown out that i was serving you babiana yeah and yeah literally was just doing like a middle part yeah no that's like the one thing about this haircut i'm like oh it's long again like no like when my hair was long i felt as though it never grew out for real but now that it's short i'm texting her every two weeks and that's the only thing about you know cutting like the pixie is like the back is giving rat dale and i've only like i got my haircut two weeks ago so no worries honestly absolutely no worries some extensions in here yeah honestly rock one little like no like a bus that would be sickening though that would be fun twigs coated yeah i was like okay like a school letter a school letter yeah no i'm gonna let this grow out into whatever it turns into i'll tell you what it grows out into like that but longer yeah just letting you know just letting you know because when my hair got really long it was literally like bob if the bob was like like butterfly filet i was like no worries well butterfly filet well in the butterfly filet um shout out brazil shout out um i need you guys to know another thing right off the top of my head i'm gonna tell you guys another thing i'm gonna off in case anyone was curious like no yeah we're curious simply i could i have to stop doing these 5 a.m fuck ass workouts okay they gotta stop because then i come in here and genuinely start talking like scrambled fucking eggs except yeah except the eggs are in the pan at least and i never scrambled though but i never even turned on the burner well but you do well you do well so the yolk's just sitting in the pan no you do you do well because i'm serving like boiled and i only got up at 6 30 yeah but i've also been doing the thing right like angela bassett did the thing i'm doing the thing where like i keep waking up screaming in the middle of the night because oh i saw this clip of trixie mattel saying that her therapist told her that um anxiety can be um something that's happened like your brain thinking that something has already happened to you is gonna happen again and like that is actually the perfect explanation for what's going on because i literally keep waking up like yeah yeah and i know about me just complaining yeah no it's no yeah yeah and then we wake up at like 6 30 and then we like run three ma and then we like take a shower and then we're like here yeah in our room i definitely am starting to feel fucking crazy oh for sure i definitely yeah yeah i definitely am starting to feel absolutely fucking like nuts like banana nuts right now yeah like banana nut pudding like because genuinely the rinse and repeat that i have just been doing and honestly i low-key forgot this is what happens when you train for a half marathon which is you just end up doing the same exact shit every goddamn week because you have your shit down to such a tight schedule because it's it's either that or like fucking suffer the consequences of like sorry suffer of like the crunch wrap you had last night yeah which is the craziest part that's the craziest part and honestly for me it's been the waking up early and honestly just trying to fit it in but i think on top of that trying to fit in the run and with that being said bro the way it's been so fucking hot like running outside just simply isn't an option you can't do that right now unless you start at 6 a.m because we ran on the beach last saturday wasn't even that hot but once the sun came out i genuinely started to fry so fucking crazy and like honestly was ready to cry like that's the thing once i get hot and overstimulated honestly shut everything the fuck down like i start to freak the fuck out yeah it's been very like um it's been very florida it's been very um jamaica like it's been very just in the sense that la has been 101 degrees and also humid somehow um and i was in fact outside the other night even last night i went to dinner no worries guys actually no worries mind you i just bought aluminum free so everyone we all going down in this bitch don't give a fuck sorry sorry i didn't i didn't know there was a heat wave i didn't know that i needed the max protect i'm sorry i'm sorry i'll say it armpit got a rash y'all not telling me something oh well do you do you know what that is what i like funk bitch rash no it's feeling like okay i'm feeling funky no well feel funky i'm feeling a little funky yeah feel funky but also this happened to me when i used the lush natural deodorant lurch yes i love that of course because i was i was feeling my own i didn't know that they made i was feeling my own boom boom gun they just made like edible bath bombs like girl they make honestly like me chewing on the cinnamon toast bath bomb like i'll do you one better in 2011 i went there and bought their hair products for curly hair oh well not bad i mean not bad but it was like 44 dollars but the hair mask used to be serious and it was like avocado and like chobani mixed up but like when you were 12 it was like i didn't even know what greek yogurt was yet no they i mean they the skincare also that i would buy from there or no no i mean it's just not no it's natural like you know they're not putting like the cinnamon toast yeah like it was a coffee face mask that was they were like it's really good if you have acne except i I was like a teenager going through puberty. So it was just like, honestly, I need fucking, you know, CeraVe. Yeah, it's the kind of acne that's like, we got to let that happen. Yeah, like I need Spirulactin. Like, you know what I mean? Right. With that being said, with that being said. You bought the deodorant. I bought the deodorant back in the dizzy. And when I tell you, I had to do so much research because I thought I was like a candidate for skin cancer because this huge, giant ball started to form in my armpit when I started using natural deodorant. And I looked it up. But essentially, if you've been using like normal deodorant for like since birth, me, it kind of like starts, your body starts detoxing all the shit that was in your armpits. But that's also why you high key smell like shit because everything's kind of like coming out. And it's really. No. It's really. And you get like clogged ducts and stuff like in your armpit, like your sweat glands and stuff get clogged. Anyways, long story short, I tried it for a summer and I was like, honestly, everyone fucking hates me. Wow. No one likes me. I smell like absolute dog shit. Like genuinely, I smell like some like a white person with dreads right now. Wow. Like the Grinch's fucking fingers, like genuinely. Wow. So I'm better off just fucking rocking with. I already eat Taco Bell. Whatever's going to happen happens with the aluminum in my fucking feet. No, because it's like the aluminum and like the. But I also think like that's just me. Like, I will say that if I don't like work overtime to mask my odor, a.k.a. like dove extra strength, like bitch aluminum, like capital A, alum. You know what I mean? All caps. I will smell absolutely fucking god awful. But I will say I've never. You've never smelled bad a day in your life. I remember specifically exactly one time that I did smell bad, but we don't talk about that. But it's OK. I mean, no, I actually have. Yeah. Did I say something? You said it smelled bad. It was giving very much like the Patreon exclusive. Like when you like when you farted and then it was and I was all like, whoa, that's crazy. And then I took my shit off and I was like, like, I felt like I took off the Scooby mask. I was like, oh, that was like just me. It's OK, though. Did I know about this? Probably not. It's OK. Well, that I think was a product of what I was wearing because I was wearing a kind of a sort of fabric that it was just like, I don't really know. Like it really kind of developed some kind of chemical concoction, you see. But no, I definitely have the dilute that like I don't usually like I don't I don't think I have a strong like musk smell. Like I don't think I have a strong like musk smell. I don't know. I've smelled it like once or twice, maybe when I've like really. But all that to say, though, like I did get the aluminum free and then I ran out of my spray aluminum right before it started being like one or one. Yeah. So, yeah. And like yesterday I was out like when I got dinner, it was still 85 degrees at night. I was like, honestly, guys, like I've never sweat at the table at Thai before, but like I was like sweating. It was crazy. Oh, one thou. It was just god awful. And the plates are hot. Like it's just literally. Yeah. Once it was talking about Tomka, I was like, you know what? I think we'll have the papaya salad. You know what? If anyone could use aluminum free, it's faith. So, yes, yes, yes. No. And very that it's chill. I mean, aluminum free is like chill. Yeah. But like my armpit is itchy. It's case. But yeah, I will say it's the detoxing of it all. And it's case by case. I mean, I put, you know, I'm not above putting anything in my fucking body. No. For sure. Oh, I just for sure. I know my best. Bounds and my limitation. Yeah. I don't even know why I got spooked like that. About the aluminum. Yeah. Like I just read like one thing about it. I was like, oh, wait. Oh, wait. And here's the thing. You're so and and I genuinely mean this. You're so more than valid because I don't think like when not like big ball of like bullshit was coming out of my armpit. I was like, damn, like that's fucked up. You know, that's like that's like at least back then it was like 22 years. I've been wearing deodorant. I've been wearing deodorant since one like, yes, yes. So it's just like that. Right. So with that being said, you know, I just think that like whatever microplastics, preservatives and things I've been rocking with 100 percent. I'm just like, if one of them takes me out of the game, you know, gives me dementia or something. I'm sorry. No, it is. Yeah. Just when it is what it is. It is. It is what it is. And I respect to the law. I mean, it was like literally one hundred and one degrees yesterday. So at this point, it's kind of just like I'm about to run for Congress. Like I'm like, this is ridiculous. I was in Burbank yesterday in the valley. You're playing my when I you're playing when I tell you I thought my AC was broken. It was so fucking it was one hundred and ten outside. I literally thought the AC in my car was fucking broken. I was like, oh, my God. No, I'm literally about to start like flock. I'm wearing all the private jets in this world. Like, I'm literally about to start taking out the engines at night. No. And I'm starting with Kylie, bitch, because it's like, yeah, girl, when I see the trail from like San Diego to fucking Calabasas to like, you know, Pasadena to bypass the traffic. Oh, we're going to have to like talk about something very serious. Well, I'm like, we can start with fucking any of the AI bullshit ass shows, dude. The AI. The AI. The AI has got to stop. It's got to stop. The show's got to stop, dude. You know, my mom watches every fucking K-drama. Like, yeah, literally any like Asian drama you can motherfucking think of. My mom is going to clock the fuck out. She's seen it not once, not twice, but four times over. She literally falls asleep to it. It's her cocoa melon. Like she that's genuinely her shit, her way, her tea. When I tell you when we were in Vegas together for my sister's birthday and I caught her watching AI. Like, like a K-drama that was AI, like fully. And I was like, mom, that's AI. And she was like, OK, well, it's really fucking good. Oh, she real. No. Stand on it. I'm not. She real as fuck for that. Well, you know, and one thing about my mom that I don't know if anyone relates to this, having a Filipino mother. They just go and fucking do them. Natalie Nunn. Natalie Nunn. And I just have to let my mom be a little Natalie Nunn to the left. Yeah, no. Yeah. But at the same time, I'm like, when you send me a video of a dog that's like also playing the piano and you're like, this is so fucking cute. I'm like, genuinely, I have to draw the line somewhere. Like, yeah, I like 80s trend. It's like literally, guys, shut up. Like, I don't. The boomer. What would you even call that? Yeah. Like, I've been getting all those millennial optimism. Tick tocks. Obsessed. Have you seen those? It's like a trend where everyone's posting like from God, like Gen Z is just like we are in prison. But like it's everyone posting like their millennial optimism era, like when it was like the tweed. And it was very like, oh, the tweet in our stars fucking like bullshit. And everyone's been like posting or they'll be like my millennial optimism, like wedding. And it's all fucking. It's just like, oh, I know it's so cute. And I'm like, oh, fuck. We were happy. We suffer. We suffer. No, because it's just like, oh, wow. Like that should be having me like sick as hell. Y'all got to have so much fun. Oh, we were I was like, yeet, y'all turn up flower crown like y'all. The flower crown. I know at least we got like a little bit of it. Yeah. Damn. If I was like 1920, 21 during that time. Y'all would have to shut up. Y'all would have to shut up quickly. Hey, guys, want to take a quick break to thank a sponsor of today's episode. No CD. Something OCD. Made me believe about myself. That wasn't true. Was any time I would cook chicken. I and I'd have like a cleaning supply out or anything nearby. I would genuinely believe that I poisoned the chicken somehow. Like I like blacked out or something. And I poisoned the chicken. Therefore, anyone who would have that chicken, including me, would die. Oh, what if? Have you had that thought before? What if you've had that thought before? For a lot of people, that's not just anxiety. That is OCD. And most of them have no idea. OCD is not just the typical neat, organized stereotype. Real OCD is persistent, unwanted, intrusive thoughts that feel totally out of character, along with mental or physical behaviors you feel driven to do to get relief, even when it never actually comes. These thoughts can feel very, very real, which is what makes them really upsetting. OCD is highly treatable with the right kind of specialized therapy. OCD needs ERP, exposure response prevention therapy, proven to be the most effective and most effective therapy in the world. If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting, intrusive thoughts, NoCD can help. Book a free 15-minute call to get started at NoCD.com. Hey guys, I want to take a quick break to thank a sponsor of today's episode, Brooklyn Bedding. I started thinking about my mattress as part of my recovery routine. Since switching to my signature hybrid mattress from Brooklyn Bedding, my spine feels supported, my body feels fully relaxed when I sleep, and I'm not fighting to get comfortable at night. I fall asleep faster and wake up feeling genuinely restored. This shift has made me feel more comfortable at night. I feel a real difference in how I feel every day. 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Brooklyn Bedding is really that good. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use our promo code UPSTAIRS at checkout to get 30% off site-wide during the fall sale. Exclusive with our code. That's brooklynbedding.com and promo code UPSTAIRS for 30% off site-wide. Support our show and let them know we sent you in the survey after checkout. brooklynbedding.com, promo code UPSTAIRS. Well, and you know what? I've been feeling that watching Drag Race. I just finished season five, and now I'm watching season eight. But like seeing the sparkle that was in their eyes back in the day, like they really just like, you know, a hot glue gun and a dream, truly. And I was living season five, genuinely. I mean. Six? Are you talking Bianca? Yeah. Season six. Sorry, season six. No, because I was just like, wait, you already saw five. Like a year. Five, six, seven, eight. Six, seven, eight. Seven, eight. Eight. Yeah, season six with Bianca Del Rio, who's mother goose-a-loose-a-boose-a, like everything. Everything to me. Genuinely, everything to me. And Adore Delano, which didn't realize that I was the biggest stan of her when she was on American Idol. American Idol. Dude, Liza and I blew up the fucking phones. For Adore. Like, genuinely voted like 150 times. Like, Liza broke down sobbing, crying. Right. So talented. I remember I downloaded their iTunes song. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Her iTunes song, what's she saying? Sometimes I feel I got to run away. Thank you. Just thank you for your survey. Yeah, that season had so many icons on it. Oh my God, that season was so. Like, literally, Darian Lake, Gia Gunn, Laganja Estranja. Like, there's hella heads on there. There's hella heads. It's crazy. That season was. But I'm watching season eight right now, and bitch, they got me. Eight is dia, da-dia, da-dia, da-dia, like, bitch, it's dia. Every single episode has me laughing in a way, like, so fucking hard. Skipping seven's hella funny. Oh my gosh. Mind you. Yeah. Seven, eight, like, five, six, seven, eight. Right. Seven, eight, like, bitch, they're so fucking funny. No, the eight, nine, ten, look, because it's like, ugh, that's just. That's that pocket right there. Yeah, well, I'm. Like, four to, like, nine? Yeah, I'm crushing, like, four episodes a day, so. Damn, that's real as hell. So sorry about that. No, that's real as hell, thank God. But I'm just, like, literally, the twee that was happening in their out-of-drag outfits were just gorgeous. Like, the girls were free. The girls were free. That's really gorgeous. Yeah, I lived. Yeah, I know that trend has been making me sick as hell. I saw this. Oh my God, I have to find it. I saw this other. I have to find this other video. I'll send it to Sav if I can find it. But I literally was like, okay, also, mind you, I've been, like, not bricked, and I'm like, here's the thing, guys. Like, I know I sound like chud-maxing, but it's just, like, literally, I can feel the difference. Can I be honest? That I'm like, okay, my brain is actually, like, turning to goo, but, like, worser than the goo is, like, where is this? Worser than the. Have you been seeing that Viking guy? Sav, I'm sending this to you, too, and I'm sorry. Who? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The view page is broken. I'm sorry. I probably need to start from scratch, honestly. Girl, honestly, period. But, no, the worser part is, like, I can feel the addiction. Like, now that I'm kind of back and dabbling, my brain's like, wait, please, please. I'm like, okay. Who is that? You haven't seen this guy. No, but look at, like, how saturated. Or. Well, because he has white eyes, white teeth. That's how you know he's a Viking. Wait. Has no one seen this? It's just me. Wait, so I dropped in the corner like this? Those are literally all his videos. Wait, hold on. So he didn't make the saturation all the way down? No, I think he did. But, like, his whole thing is he's like, well, that's how you know I'm a Viking, because I have white eyes and white teeth and, like, white tats. Like, I don't know. I know Vikings didn't have white teeth back then. Gingerbitis, halitosis. No, ain't no way. I think he's joking, but I'm just not, like, a. 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure he's joking. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Sorry. While we're at it, can we watch this one, too? Yeah. Absolutely. Sorry if you're listening. I'm sorry. I'm trying to find this damn TikTok that made me cry, though. Where is it? Ugh, and that's how you know. Wait, him being, like, pirate core? So Davy Jones Walker, like. I think he's joking. Because there's low-key. There's low-key? No way he's not joking. Wait. Yeah, I mean, if something works, you know. Well, I'm scared. Maybe he's not joking. Dude, what the hell did I. Like, what? What was the premise of the video? Okay, it was basically this video being, like, um. It was showing nostalgia from, like, 20. It was, like, 2011 to 20. Or, no, it was, like, 2005 or. Let me find it. Let me find it. Because I'm, like, you know I'm about to butcher down. You can just play this one whenever. It's just. What do I need a napkin for, bro? Straw. I don't need no straw. Burger. Other burger. Napkin. Like me, sorry. What do I need a straw for? Just feeling god-awful. Oh, my gosh, and New American. Me going through my watch history, like, oh, my God, a New American Horror Story with Evan Peters. Okay. I've got the fire. Like, bitch, I'm a Viking. I'm so. Like, he's, like, no shawday. And I don't know what it is about Evan Peters, but he comes back, like, once a year when the air starts to get crisp, I go into, like, a two-week Evan Peters edit situation. Yeah. And he is just so crazy fine. Yeah. I liked him. He was, like, my friend. He was my first crush from the Sleepover movie. Ugh. And he had, like, the SpongeBob helmet, and I was like, oh, that's so cute. No, you gagged. Him in American Horror Story, though, is, like, biblical. Yeah. There's biblical undertones. I've never finished a season of American Horror Story. Really? Yeah. I always have to tap out at some point. What? Why? It's, like, low-key, if I can be so raw and honest. Yeah, of course. It just genuinely, it always takes it, like, there to a really disturbing place that, like, it starts to be hard for, like, to sit in my spirit. Yeah. Because it's, like, yes, the horror, yes, the gore, but also, like, the things that actually happen in the show, I'm like, ooh. No, that's real as hell. Honestly, me looking through my watch history, like, no worries, guys. Like, this shit about to make me break. Like, there's no way I've watched that many things. All that to say, it was just, like, a nostalgia TikTok, and it was just being, like, I was on boy TikTok, for some reason, but it was, like, a nostalgia TikTok, being, like, being a boy, like, in the, like, 2010s or something, and it was just a bunch of, like, games and stuff. And all the comments, oh, I'm actually about to start crying. That's crazy. All the comments were, like, oh! Oh! Like, empathy for men. Like, it's out there, guys, I promise. All the comments were, like, yeah, but I have my first kid, guys. Like, I'm scared. Like, don't forget about me. I was, like, ugh. I saw a TikTok. A TikTok. I saw a TikTok, too. I saw a TikTok like that, too, about, like, how so many guys made, like, friends off of, like, Xbox. Yeah. And, do you want to see? No, it's okay. Sorry, for some reason, I thought there was an earthquake. Oh! I know about that. I think it was just my chair shaking. No, I literally was, like, wait, guys. No, like, yeah. No, that shit actually had me in bed swapping, because I was, like, it was just, like, girlhood. It was just, it was touching the girlhood of, like, damn, yeah. Like, everybody was, like, hey, we grown up, y'all. It was a good run with the gift that's like this. I was, like, man, fuck y'all. No, I saw this guy's TikTok where he was, they were talking about, like, on Xbox, like, you know, when you would play online and just make, like, random friends. Right. But this one guy was saying how, like, he played with someone for, like, seven years straight. And then, but he never had their number. Like, they were, like, international or something. Whoa. One day, just never logged back on. And he was just, like, I don't know. I don't know if that meant, like, they, like, passed away or, like, they just stopped playing or, like, what happened. But I was, like, genuinely, that is, like, so insane and real and true and trill. It's really insane and trill. It's just crazy. It's, like, yeah, no, we're old now, guys. Like, all shade. All shade. But also, like, the new iPhone. I don't know. Oh. Me just saying shit. I'm, like, the new iPhone, like, fold out. But it's iPad core. It is, like, an iPad. But they're selling, like, a phone, no? No, it is a phone. - But it's big as shit. - Tristan posted someone had it like so tristan like i like someone irl with it but i'm like that's fucking huge like if someone was literally pulled out of mind you two hands look that's about to piss me off i'm so sorry you do not need that that's about to piss me off i'm just sad because like everybody was like they're making a flip i was like oh hell yeah and then that's the fucking flip i'll kill you but i just wait no i won't sorry your ipad around carrying your ipad like i'm drawing the line this is where i draw the line oh okay like the hell that's like my hair right now no literally i'm like that's literally like what i'd be feeling like in the morning um oh i need my bones to do that though okay what like snap in half yeah and then come back together well let's yeah let's you know i don't know wait that diva's booked yeah love it's kind of pissing me off really badly but i'm just hating like the clickbait of thinking that there was gonna be a sickening new there is but i mean that's like that's you know new but the newest like iphone 18 pro max is like new yeah but like is it the same size no it's bigger they got like this isn't a thing like this up part isn't a thing um do you want martin did a video oh the tech review i need to watch that shit how many weeks is that so that color is so cute okay um i mean i've been like kind of soft launching a new laugh lately i'm hearing myself do it it's michelle like a pronounced like ha ha like i don't know why but it feels so good lately okay you know like oh yeah don't tell me if you go back one more on that slide see how oh no just kidding i don't know i'm a liar man i don't fucking know like what's nerd oh the colors the colors are cute is this the let me stop the blues cute we're accidentally spread misinformation um okay i mean i don't think like anything i want some new shit babe groundbreaking well the groundbreaking is the iphone duo you see but what about the iphone single and then it's just it goes like this like if they made an iphone like the samsung one i would be like okay fine i'll buy a new one yeah but until then i'm like guys would you ever switch over to samsung um not liking what this next thing is gonna sound like but i just if i shout out the android girls first and foremost you know what i mean but like kirk genuinely i don't care about the green messages as much as i care about the fact that like every group chat i'm in would be fucked up unless have they updated that yeah oh so you can stay in the group chat you can stay in the group chat and send everything and it it looks the same okay that's kind of sickening zhuzh yeah because my sister's wife has an android oh and we had a group chat with her and we were sending i messages oh like it was green but it was sending like i like your group it wasn't like a text the green is so shady like it wasn't like an sms you know yeah yeah yeah yeah because the sms used to have me like um well then i don't know like a maybe other than i am like honestly is it a new uh oh in around 15 minutes you see okay cool i also just got like the both the wildflower cases i just got r for this phone so i am stuck i think it's the same size well but i don't have the one two three oh yeah i have the og okay yeah remember me yeah i'll think of you um because i just like honestly if it's gonna be like the same vibe i don't i don't get any phones like that same yeah they're fucking playing but like period the crossbody strap like bitch ain't no one like what like ultimate big bucket no like attention pickpocket pickpocket oh there's an iphone air oh it has one okay i'm just not sure what's happening that one's just for like people who are like anti-phone honestly d but it's just like see again how you guys like change one thing and now i have to get a new iphone case like that yeah no i actually need to back my okay strikingly strong they say i need to back my phone up crazy mode it just keeps saying no storage no fucking nothing dude how do you delete stuff yeah dude i literally deleted like two hours worth of footage on my phone and i because i was like recording a brand deal literally deleted two hours worth of footage and it still said that my like literally went to record and it was like you're out of storage why aren't you like a terabyte now no how much this one i fucked up y'all they got me with a christmas special at verizon and so i just said yeah sure what is it 250 oh okay yeah yeah no i i do i do need like a terabitty you know what i mean but yeah it just essentially what happened is i went to the verizon store and i was like oh my god i need a terabitty and i was like oh my god i during christmas and the guy was like we're doing this crazy deal where if you buy a new phone you know how usually you trade it in yeah the he was like you can just keep it oh so i was like okay yeah and he was like today's the last day and so i just bought whatever phone child they had right which was 250 right which i should have just taken the l and got no that's real as the two terabyte but then i was like okay maybe i'll pull trig on like getting a content phone or something and then i went to the apple store and i was like hi like can i like you know like buy a cell phone or whatever and they're like we're sold out what yeah so la pilled that's weird at the grove that's really strange yeah maybe you can get the iphone light i'll get the iphone um ipad honestly i'm just gonna start carrying my ipad around just feeling god awful about the fact that they dare to call that a flip phone but it's like it's not though it's like two phones like one for the plug and one for the low just imagine i can just picture it in my mind like someone's mom or honestly someone's dad yeah yeah yeah yeah that's fair that's fair someone's dad just having the shit like still open and taking like video footage and i don't know why that specific imagery is like making me a little upset fall never arrives all at once first the air then the light and slowly the things you love begin to find each other a jacket meets a dress a hoodie slips beneath a blazer an old cap finds a new scarf because you don't simply step into the season you create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall find fall your way at ross it makes sense like if you if it makes sense if you're not ipad peeled in the sense that then you have an ipad and a phone at the same time but i have an ipad so then i'm gonna have an ipad and then another ipad well i guess the appeal is the fact simply that you can have two apps going at the same time and if i'm being like i'm regressing into like a boomer type shit like that was the part that pissed me off the most because i'm guys the attention wars that's happening why in like maybe i'm just not productive enough or something but what scenario do i have two apps open youtube and like text or like uh like tick tock and gram you know i mean like i could see if you were like doing some work on your phone yeah how it would be like nice to have like photos up and then like the editing app or like something of that nature somebody productive yeah if you're someone who's like really working on your phone like that like i could see that for myself but then it's just like why do i have an ipad i'm just like give me my brain back give me my brain back you guys mind if i take my brain back honestly i've been giving it away like what lately though i've been sorry anxiety's been hitting so nasty that i just like need my ciggie yeah my ciggie and then it's like tick tock and then it's like what and then a baba and then it's just whatever well i can't have babas right now because the half so no worries whatever man i literally can't drink like if i drink and then i wake up the next day and then i have to run it's like oh well don't worry i know all about that because guys i've been seeing a physical therapist post like me fucking my knee up to like like in a serious way so anyways i started seeing a physical therapist shout out ethan and i don't know what happened i have a physical therapist and i don't know what happened and i don't know what happened i was doing an arm day with my trainer and i was like holy fucking shit i'm so goddamn strong like pr-ing like all these all these like new weights and stuff and i was like oh my god i'm getting like so fucking strong like i'm really proud of myself and i was like talking to my girlfriend on the phone and i was like like i'm getting so strong and she was like i'm so proud of you like whatever get home well first get home and like then i have like a dinner that night go to dinner and at that dinner i'm like carrying my shoulder bag and i'm like fuck my shoulder like hurts so bad like i don't know why my shoulder hurts so bad go home that night and i'm like oh my neck is like fucking killing me like holy shit like my neck is like hurting wake up the next morning couldn't move my neck literally neck stiff as a bitch i was like that has never happened to me as a 28 year old like that simply like what the fuck's going on so the next day i literally brought in my outside lawn chair indoors so i'm literally sitting up like this and i have i bought well i instacarted a neck pillow um that came broken so honestly perfect no worries was literally using a chip clip to hold it together it's fine it's fine don't worry about me i'm okay like don't worry about yourselves and i was like oh my god like did i like do something was i like i worked too hard like i don't know but it like freaked me out and i was like i like can't move my neck like whatever literally had to take a muscle relaxer like okay that's fine no worries go to my physical therapist the next day and was like king like i cannot move my fucking neck and he was like yeah that happens with age okay happens with age that's totally fine except like i just remember i used to be able to literally bang my head damn near up against the wall at a concert and then literally snap back like like a rubber fucking band yeah so good to know that you know meemaw has to take easy yeah meemaw has to take it a little easy these days and that's okay that's totally fine but like to your point about drinking a beer and then like actually like you know i don't know i don't know i don't know it taking you know like a couple days to recover yeah that's real as shit no and it's just like we're hella running so don't even worry about it yeah like we're running because wellness training we're training and we are training to run really hardly and we love running so this is perfect so it's perfect i do love running when it's like two ma like tree ma once it's but once it's goo territory well and i had a pump and i guess i do have to go back to the goo i actually don't want to do that though did you try the one that nicole huh do you try the one that nicole had nor i haven't ran anything goo worthy because i didn't run on monday because shout out lizzie i took spindiger which mind you running actually let me not even say that because like don't even clip my shit and spin are like if you had to like after taking spindigo it's giving me like the two sisters from incanto like spin is like the buff one and then running is like the diva with the flowers and she's like oh my god like the way spin digs in you is like physically scientific like it's somebody who really sat down and said how do we turn this up digging you worse and then also bitch when you do the sit backs and the come ups like every time i sat down monday through yesterday i was like do y'all mind if my clam hurt do you slam so i'm just like not really sure i'm just not really sure yeah no thank you i'm just not really sure but i will be back but i was just saying that because i did replace my run with that so i haven't been like running other than today so i haven't been ingesting any type of goo no i think i'm just gonna have to run with a bag of like honey nut cheerios like goo's be making me want to like poultry you should do the twin snakes oh yeah the twin snakes that's smart it's like that's smart no i could fuck with like a candor but i'm just like the goo maybe maybe i just need to try again yeah or like a sweet tart rope okay i'm fucking with that i don't know i'm trying to think like twin snakes would be d a spicy potato taco would be d honestly some nacho doritos but that's not a lot i like i feel like you need something maybe a little lighter yeah than a spicy potato no that's real i just like running i ordered a um a hand thong for the for the water bottle oh yeah uh i do it for you okay just remember that i do it for you um and um what am i trying to say are you using it for a water bottle you already oh i think i'm gonna no it's gonna come with the bottle oh nice i think the nathan but yes exactly but um because when we were running the eight ma like eminem like that shit had me like you know what y'all it's been hella real like it's been trill honestly like it's been like too real um and i'm saying that because i did run it with like no vest which i will say running without a vest is so much nice it's awesome but then it's like what do you do when you start to get like and you don't have later you stop running see i literally first off i was using a vest which i was like let me just try the vest because i use it last training season like the whole entire time and with it for the half right did you run with yours for the half yes but i used a different vest the day of the race or so that was just a whole other experience in and of itself with that being said i was like okay this time i'm trying um the water bottle and i will say i have such a more like pleasant experience running with a water bottle versus running with a vest and again like i know you kind of have to like play around i will say that like that was the hardest run like i've ran six and a half miles before and it for some reason i have no idea why i don't maybe it was like i and it was like hotter when i tell you my back hurt so fucking bad and my shoulders hurt and i was just so uncomfortable yeah i also ran out of water and with like the titty water bottles it's like when you wash them i don't know how to not make them taste like soap after the first walk or so genuinely every sip i was taking just tasted like soap and water or and i was so thirsty that i was like okay it's like nut up or shut up ran out of water mile five and genuinely just was like so fucking miserable yeah and the sun was like fully out i could like just oh wow i yeah it was really really freaking out it was very very serious and it was actually really really tough yeah um and nobody's talking about it yeah yeah i do think it like traumatized me a little bit uh yeah in the sense that like i just feel like there's some experience i feel like what i'm going through right now genuinely this is very champagne problems very like first world problems like i understand that but just on some like venting key key shit i think it's like my trainer switched up my training plan to make it more athletic so it like loki is so much fucking harder and then i have like physical therapy which is just like hard i don't know it's not easy and then i run every week i'm just getting to a place where like maybe i feel a little like athletically burnt out because i feel like everything's so rinse and repeat right now on top of like everything else happening in our world but i just am feeling sort of like okay okay let me find love for the game if i could be so real oh no i'll be real i mean i told you guys like i literally feel like i've been dragging around my body and i'm sorry and you know we're working on that like we're gonna like do a break and everything but it's just kind of like i mean i feel i i teeter between waking the first hour of the morning is the best part of the day my eyes are bright i'm happy to be here one two three iced coffee best part of the day 100 two gifts open like period and it's not like suffering it's just it's not like an act of suffering it's just like um like damn yeah there's just or it feels like it feels like the kind of burnout where you're like not super like champagne poppy like you could be alive but are you living yeah i think that's what i'm trying to say is it's giving like i'm definitely there here as well yeah and i'll be like there and then i'm over there and then i'm like over here and then it's like over here um but then it's like where like where yeah i don't know right yeah no i definitely feel that i think like for me i've just been noticing my self-talk has honestly just been like atrocious yeah and like like a maca literally on the way here i had to do like out loud affirmation you have to do the out loud affirmation because i've just been i've just been like i've just been like i've just been i've honestly been feeling like everyone hates me y'all are mad at me classic and yeah i mean like i just feel like everyone hates me everyone's mad at me and like i'm not doing good enough you know even though i feel like i'm putting my best and you do a lot yeah you do so much yeah you do and it's it's kind of like my plight you know what i mean yeah is i don't know is yeah i don't know i just feel like i just really struggle with feeling like oh everyone's mad at me core yeah and everyone thinks i'm doing a shit job but then at the same time it's like girl what else can i do i feel like i wonder though with the risk of projecting on all on all of us on all three of us loki i just i wonder if i think sometimes when we get like burnt i mean we were talking about this but like sometimes we get like burnt or whatever like we almost like do more yeah and i feel like i've been having a conversation with myself lately where i'm kind of just like i think the outsourcing of like dopamine is maybe what that is of like i'm picking up all these new like interests and like hyper fixations and now i'm just like i'm doing more and i'm going here and i'm like seeing people and like but then i wonder might test this and report back but i wonder if like the scaling back although it doesn't feel i don't know how to explain it like scaling back sometimes feels like you're doing worse yeah but like like like metaphorically speaking like shout out the boy if like genuinely because like that man like i just know and i'd be telling him all the time like if he ever dropped like a youtube expose on me i'd be like yep i don't know you know but i was thinking the other day too like we'll see each other a lot or like when i get really stressed out i'm like oh dude just like come over and like we can just like because like the quick hit dopamine is t of like i'll just see you and then i'll like feel like cool and then we can just like come over and like we can just like come over and like we can just like that but then we were like having a conversation the other day where we were like maybe we should see each other less you know or like maybe like the trying to like work harder like overcompensate to feel like good like i'm gonna go here i'm gonna do this or i'm gonna like buy this like i've been like buying fucking pins if you are on my fucking youtube if you've ever seen my youtube channel bro you like actually this is one like the thought planted in my head is i bought munchling pins i did watch and this is actually scratch that metaphor better metaphor is like those that is the metaphor where i bought it because i was like oh my god it's gonna be so fun to open and it's gonna be like ah like it's gonna make me like ah bitch i opened those and genuinely every single stupid ass random ass piece of metal dumb ass stitch as like a blueberry brioche bread ass pin i pulled out i did see that i was like oh my god there i go again yeah trying to like pull externally when it's like i think what i actually could have done in that moment is like stayed home and like watched like a comfort movie like no but actually speaking no and that's real i i think that's kind of what i've been leaning into too yeah you know and i need to hit that yeah i did that yesterday i was gonna go and watch spider-man but then i was like i'd have to drive to century city and like all the things so i was like i'm just staying home and i bought a puzzle board oh love yeah that's so fun which has transcended the game i don't know if you guys are like puzzle heads at all but like if you're a puzzle head puzzle fans i've been in my puzzle bag so fucking crazy yeah um and just like i've been just trying to do more like brain shit like i've also you know like the new york time games and like whatever that's my brain shit perfect yeah that is brain shit but the puzzles have been hitting but the puzzle board i got is genuinely giant fucking enormous and it has sorting trays and all the things anyways it's really been hitting so crazy um so a lot of that yeah and a lot of drag race it'll that'll do it yeah and honestly just yeah i meal prepped yesterday nice yeah and i'm just like trying to lay as low as possible yeah and i yeah i do feel god awful at times you know where i feel like i go like socially mia and i'm just like trying to lay as low as possible and i yeah i do and like all these things but at the same do you ever really go socially mia yeah well you know what it is to you but like as your friend from the outside i'm like sister you do a lot yeah you do and you should give yourself credit for that and no that's true well i think i feel like i go socially mia because there's so many friends to see exactly that like all feel like i was like fuck i haven't seen this person in like two months so like i got them and then like you know like rotate my like divas in and it's so right like my friends i've seen in a year i'm like because it's love bro love well no and i'm just like you know i try and right now what i've been doing is like rotating everyone into my apartment yeah you know like i'm just like hey like come by sit on the couch and like we can like have qual time that way but i'm just i've been having a hard time like physically getting out and like doing shit and yeah i don't know i mean like also honestly my brain is just fucking exhausted yeah and i think like the pressure that we put on ourselves is like actually like not real no a hundred percent um and so with that being said in this moment i'm not running today yeah i'm taking a fucking nap i'm taking a fucking nap i don't give a fuck that's real i don't give a fuck dude you trained this morning like that's already enough i'm just surprised that you even work and my fucking ass hurts horribly yeah i definitely be kind to yourself core that's all no seriously because i'm just like girl yeah it's you know and if i win a lot this year if i well and hopefully not girl at the no i oof i know it's been tough too because my adhd has been so bad that this morning i yeah it's not funny this morning i um had the coffee after we went to alfred's and i literally went to walk out the door i like picked it up i went to walk out the door i forgot something i did something and i looked for it for 10 minutes and i i genuinely had put it down maybe like 30 seconds before and i was like oh it's gone yeah and it's like sometimes when i'm like oh okay okay yeah like i'm like alive but are we living are we living we live here and there though oh we find pockets of living but i'm just kind of like yeah i on the puzzle of it i'm like i think instead of chasing the next high of dopamine i could definitely go back to the cow yeah you know um well speaking of chasing a high of dopamine i did adopt a dog a puppy at that oh no and shout out the labelle foundation like literally being the metaphor right there she's everything though no excited that'll be so fun her name's bobby but the um the rescue named her laguna so i've been calling her laguna bobby who knows what bobby's fun who knows what her name's gonna turn into bobby's a good name yeah i was thinking of my dad and then i was like oh you could call her bobby and then shout out dad closest i'll probably ever get to having a kid i don't know i said you know like how people like name their kids after their oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah totally totally the same thing um anyways with that being said i met her tuesday and she's everything she's actually so sweet and cute so mom of two i just like don't know how you do it like i really don't mom of two but honestly like i will say that like it's just so funny i mean it's just so funny i used to get like stressed out at the thought of like response being responsible for like anything you know i mean i still do but like genuinely the dog that we have now honey she's four she's a long-haired dachshund and she's like mad fucking chill like mad fucking chill literally the most she does is like bark when someone walks in and she's food motivated so like you know if you have like a fucking apple in your hand she might like sit on your feet but like that's about it you know like she's just like she would sleep all day if we let her you know and i just feel like bobby's gonna follow in those footsteps which is the reason why it feels more also i will say being depression prone as fuck it is really nice to like that i can't rot in bed all day like there is you know a dog a being that is like dependent on me to like get up feed them and like you know take them on a walk take them outside or like whatever and like that's really nice i would say for like my depression and also having like someone to hang out with when i'm like by myself and stuff so it's been like a nice experience having a dog and i was really fucking nervous like i kept telling my girlfriend i was like oh my god like i i don't think this is a good idea like you know like i was like anti for a second but then when we met her i was like love love so i think it's gonna it's actually gonna be really fun yeah yes it will be fun it will be fun i'm excited we get her saturday damn that's real as shit yeah it will be fun though it'll be fun it will be fun she's like really fucking sweet she's really fucking sweet yeah and just like sweet girl right like a sweet girl so cute i was like sad when we did the meet and greet because usually you would like take the dog. But just like scheduling wise, it just like didn't really work. out for us so we're getting her saturday and i'm just gonna be a mama no lid i'm literally gonna be mother goose as fuck i'm literally gonna be mother no and i'm happy for you i feel i'm just like projecting my anxiety where i'm like whoa that's like i mean definitely by myself i would like freak out but i will say like my girlfriend she's like like mother for real yeah totally so i'm like girl i'm not getting up in the middle of the night i'm like having two people is air eating yeah like not dealing with like the hard shit alone yeah so that'll be nice but um you know that'll be exciting that'll be something like new to like brighten up the days you know yeah no it is it's been fun like hashtag dog life um i know you've been in that dog life down i have but it's been tea yeah it's been tea yeah and like yeah and it's been like fun it's been a fun change um just like whoa that's like so mother goose of me how different of a dog because they look very similar um the dog that we're getting bobby bobby laguna laguna bobby uh she's a chihuahua mix but low-key she's kind of long so i'm like she might have some dachshund in her but yeah they low-key look like siblings as fuck i'll put up some pictures um i'll send them in but they do look and also like she was like really interested in honey honey was more so kind of like hey bitch dachshunds are hella funny because they do this thing where like i don't know their personalities are hella funny where if they don't want something to happen or like for example a big thing honey will do is like if some if someone leaves like food on the table she'll like stand really still and do like a shit ton of side eye to be like no one can see me right now yeah and i'm like first off everyone can fucking see you right and i know you want that ham sandwich well yeah like dog shit yeah and so she was doing that with laguna like so like what's up with her like and it was pretty fucking no like what's her tea yeah but it's gonna i feel sweet that like honey's gonna have a sibling because it does feel sad like having to leave her by herself totally and like when i watch her on the camera and like she's just by herself i do get like sad yeah yeah totally if you had a sibling like sibling to hang out with that'd be sweet yeah but like honestly i think that's as much as i can contribute to the world what motherhood wise oh well yeah no that's yeah well no if you wanted to have a kid it was to be supportive as well but no yeah just like as burnout barbie i'm like oh shit like bro i got a plant right now just absolutely like i'm alive i'm dead and i'm like um i do i got a peace lily and they tell you that peace lilies are like mad my equivalent being like a plant i don't know why but like well yeah well in the sense that and that's why i'm like guys like yeah damn you you are the strongest soldier like period yeah i feel like i've learned with having honey that like she adds more value than she like takes away from my life like i feel like i have more like good days than like hard days with her you know i think like the only thing i just wish dogs could talk because that might be kind of what makes them yeah i'm like that might be what makes them no yeah i mean in the sense that i guess they're just like the forever toddler you know what i mean no like quite literally of like you know they can't like let themselves out or i guess in our situation because we like having a we're in an apartment so we're not like yard living with a doggy door you know yeah um but yeah love her yeah and like excited for this next chapter but yeah i don't know i was like my girlfriend and i were talking about like if we were to have kids and stuff and just like what that would look like in a lesbian relationship and i was just like oh my god like the idea of having to be pregnant is i mean you don't have to no you don't have to i mean there's like surrogacy yeah there's um and there's like adoption which like totally open to adoption and stuff but yeah i'm just like surrogates if i had like the kind of i mean i think it's like a genetic thing sometimes when it comes to like pregnancies like i don't know i have some friends i remember my friend was like pregnant with her second baby and she just like slipped the baby right out was wearing her jeans next week and it was just like right light work no reaction yeah and yeah some people have that and i'm like i don't know my mom had gestational diabetes and a c-section so it was like i don't know if she's pregnant or not but i'm like i don't know i don't know if she's pregnant so it's just kind of like yeah totally yeah and then my kid says like bitch i hate you it's just like well i just like can't even think about that right now like yeah we're just like so late 20s courts actually like absolutely insane yeah i will say though that i feel like my girlfriend's the first person that i've met that i've ever like i don't know i don't know if she's pregnant or not but i highly i would be fucking gagged if i ended up having a kid like not the way the world's looking right now but like she was the first person that i met that i was like oh you'd actually be like you're more responsible than me and also you know she's raised so many kids because she's a nanny so i'm like right you could like handle that shit right right whereas like me i'd be like oh um dude i'm like barely like eating lunch so yeah well i have been eating lunch but in the sense that you know like i'm barely like cutting a zucchini type yeah i'm just like if there was a kid tugging on my jean while i'm trying to like warm up my wing stop it's just like guys it don't even make no damn sense like that i don't i mean like i'd literally be like so do you want to go to century city instead of the park no literally well yeah yeah that would kind of have to be like the vibe yeah but it is true also that yeah i just feel like we're in such a specific time where everyone's just kind of like doing things like that it wouldn't surprise me to have a friend who's pregnant or like to have a friend who you know gets engaged or something it's just kind of crazy to think about it sometimes because i still feel so like yeah just in the middle somewhere yeah but that is actually like a really rational thing at this part in our lives at least traditionally to be like thinking about it's just like crazy that that's a thing yeah i think also like in la too everything's like a lot more behind just since everyone's so like career oriented and stuff you know so i feel like a lot of the settling down happens like way later you know um which is like totally fine i mean like we're still like so fucking young that it's like yeah light work no reaction but yeah it is just like okay shit yeah no it's like it's hell a little cuspy hell of people like i don't know yeah hella people getting married yeah me not knowing anyone i'm like yeah actually i do know like one person yeah yeah shout out shout out the married girls um i know but yeah man and shout out like hey guys just know if you get into peace lily you need to feed it every fucking day i didn't know i was like a lizard so i don't know i might just have to let it go i'm sorry oh shit okay i just i mean yeah it's it's tough i don't even know what it is i keep coming home and it's literally looking gorgeous it's absolutely stunning already had to cut off both of the damn flowers though because no worries but it just like ingests more water than i do so i'm kind of like i'm sorry that i'm not okay giving you the life that you deserve at this and it's an indoor moment yeah it's an indoor thing and i got it because everybody was like well it's like a low maintenance plant like you i guess more specifically that it doesn't need to have a lot of light like my apartment does have light but i kind of have to like make an effort to like open windows and stuff so i was just looking for easy plants and everybody was like this one's easy this one's easy and i'm but also i if i left town for three days it's gonna die what about and then i might just got a cat i do have a money tree already okay what about a monstera i have two monsteras regretting it no shade okay because love a monstera if you're thinking about getting monstera though baby they get big as shit like they will keep growing as long as you let them grow and then i just feel god-awful killing my plants like the monsters that i bought like three years ago that used to be a foot long and now they're five i'm like okay so we are locked in until you like die yeah not by my hand though by like the hand of like someone else the lord um but no yeah so just shout out like honestly only pothos like dead ass like shout out to pothos and a neon pothos and that's all i got you can get a cactus i know i do have a cactus but i don't like live laugh love for cactus energy what's the um this is like the easiest plant i've ever owned oh the snake plant will literally live through anything also slayed because air purifier nice to have what about aloe vera aloe vera could be tea i don't know how it is to take care of an aloe vera plant actually i've only ever seen them outside i also have um i got my palea back which i'm really enjoying palea life as well but anyway all that to say i'm just like oh so you're mommy tone um yes in the sense that i have things that i do consider in the chain of karmic life and death no in the sense that if i treated like even a cat like that it would be dead yeah but you wouldn't i wouldn't because it's rising to the occasion that you have to choose not to do unfortunately because like my paleo literally was like and i was like girl get the fuck up seriously you're annoying don't like hell with me at the plant door like nobody stood behind my door no nobody stood by my door but again in like the dopamine like burnout of it all i did get like five at the same time and i was like this is gonna make me like yeah i mean i definitely see the vision of like the freshness a little happy yeah it does it does the freshness i'm also not unhappy sounds like i'm unhappy i'm not unhappy just burnt just burnt dude just burnt just tired just burnt just feel like everyone hates me girl ain't nobody hate you but no one hates me exactly everyone loves me exactly girl you need to start saying that again out loud i did say that to myself in the car exactly i said i'm funny and everyone likes me exactly oh no actually affirmations though guys my affirmation my affirmations being i'm bigger than a spider i'm like no worries yeah say every time i walk up to my apartment you are i'm gonna move but then it's like is that the pliesaw tiktok just hellish actually now that we're talking during this episode i'm like i'm thinking of things that i can cut to feel mentally more adjusted but i saw a tiktok about how gen z is so like when we have a minor inconvenience we make like if it definitely does give high school in that sense well because it's just like so if i move like will there be no bugs and then they'd be like well i don't know well if i move to floor 25 yes that's what i was gonna say but then i'm gonna be walking past my windows like this i will say that through my research you do need to move somewhere where like plumbing and everything airtight yeah and just like yeah just you know the windows everything like the windows were like when you open them like there's no like no and this wet dripping down my ball i'm like the worst that maybe you could potentially face is like you know a fruit fly but like i that's will kiss them on the mouth yeah at this point i'm literally like snow white like let the fruit fly land and i'm literally like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god like this like i'm like like like olaf literally because i'm just like a damn yeah um yeah damn so i'm gonna move to a concrete box next i'm thinking why do i keep feeling like there's an earthquake happening you know what all right well that's been real um the last thing that i wanted to say was that i watched i've been getting so many day john love tiktoks is that the guy big nfl player is he still no he's arrested yeah he's arrested but now everyone's like posting their videos that they have of him right and the guy that he was renting the cars from i did see that have been posting his videos and he was like bro like i'm gonna get straight with you i'm also gonna pay like the lamb because he was like going over the mileage with the lamborghini and he was like so i'm gonna get i'm gonna pay up the lamborghini he's like low-key i'm thinking about the maybach mind you like hasn't even like paid like it's like owes like all this money to this guy that he's like renting the cars and he was like and i might use you again like i ought to whoop your ass with that being said he i got onto the side of like what he would ask girls that he was like seeing long term like how he would ask them for money and one of the things that he was saying was his security guard needed money and because he was like you know that's a bad look for me i can't have my security out here no money and he was like i don't have cash transfered like venmo and shit because people abuse me like he was like people will literally like ask for money and like whatever and i send them to them so it's a boundary that i have within myself that like if you want cash from me i either physically have to go to the bank and wire it to you or he was like i give people physical cash and he was like yeah dude and so anyways he was like explaining as to this girl as to why she needs to like give his security guard money or like why he was like running low on money i don't even know but he was like yeah my security had to leave because his mom has amnesia if i like five sauce amnesia five seconds of the summer um genuinely he was lying so fast he couldn't even think of the word for dementia and i amnesia he was just like she has amnesia i was i don't know why that made me honestly cry die laughing for like a cool like 45 minutes and i just keep saying amnesia to everything well because like conviction will take you a long way like my security guard's mom has amnesia okay like me when i have amnesia no honestly my aluminum fucking deodorant girl i have that i have one right now because i'm not playing with y'all in this hundred degrees oh it's gonna be the funk sound on tiktok i'm letting you know now that i'm literally walking around like fucking squidward tentacles like genuinely walking around the crusty crap like just making that noise constantly with every step that i take like it's just nothing's cute nothing cute's been happening around here when it just ain't shit cute just ain't shit cute but what i did do uh the other day to you know relax my nervous system and i was like oh my god what guys i did buy a stand by me and can i say i did buy the yes i did buy the lg stand by me um and can i say that it was the greatest purchase i ever made i did it when i fucked up my neck and i couldn't watch tv because i couldn't like look up oh wow so i just like ordered a tv that when i know that well more so i just don't have a tv i didn't have a tv in my bedroom so i just like needed something on a stand whatever man anyways like stand by me anyways i've been in my bath era it's so awesome i can watch tv in the shower i don't know okay i don't give a fuck i can watch tv in the shower but anyways i set up like the youtube well i've been back in my reading era oh love and i was i've been reading uh the throne of glass series you know i just had to set up a tv and i was like oh my god i'm gonna watch tv and i'm gonna watch tv and i'm gonna like fantasy moment and i literally looked up on youtube like fantasy autumn ambience 100 no lights on just to stand by me like fantasy like rivendell in the back in autumn um playing like a fantasy soundtrack and me in a bath like a bubble bath literally up to my fucking nose and my kindy pop last 20 minutes dumped dumped in some epsom salt that sounds really amazing truly and if you're interested i offer to thee thank you i appreciate that you could just sit and relax like bikini bottom ambience but that that would like actually give me no shade and that would take it anyways that's all i have to um offer to you guys today is things that i've been up to is like no and it's just like thinking about like the things that we've been up to and just like think about fantasy ambience yeah fantasy ambience on my stand by me like send some prayers and some larve um yeah and strength neighborhood watch my neighborhood watch i was looking because we were talking about cats and dogs we were talking about dogs um i'm shouting out my girl girl with the dogs on youtube oh my god princess shannon just dropping a new fucking disney pin bus down i'm like going home um uh yeah she just like grooms dogs and cats wait yeah in canada yes oh my god i watch her shoe she's everything she's everything she is literally when i tell you i have seen every single video yeah yes girl she's so oh my god this is my damn she got hella subs mama dude that's my okay mama that is my effing girl yeah she's like absolutely everything and um you know who else is t there's a girl who does like these really big free cleans in the uk like like cleans or just clean no like house cleaning oh yeah oh my god she and she's so sweet she literally does these like bust down free cleans and she's so everything oh my god i've been like tearing up her videos like crazy yeah and she didn't post for like four months which i do not blame her because her last free period her last free clean i would have stopped posting yeah you have to take off a couple months um and she was oh i love her dude i love her so much shout out oh my gosh the little cocoa melon i've been watching her down and it's cute because honey will literally be like like she'll just like hear them like wait hello she'll hear the dogs and she'll be like are they okay when they're like scared it's really cute anyways whatever man um my neighborhood watch tony the anthony bourdain movie oh need to see that um it was like really t i think dominic stop adding it to watch later thank you exactly there's there's some that i'll send you no and it's real because i'll be watching boxcats like oh my gosh well because i wash them at home so i need i need to be washing them at home you're real as hell yeah i watch them at home too no like you have to like you have to just like yeah have like bad experiences i'm but i know she does great work yes but she she don't play specialize it like she'd be like bitch you're putting on the fucking um the hood yeah or and you're getting clean the muzzle down the muzzle down or do you where do you see where they like put the hang the dog up like in the yeah yeah yeah no and i'm like exactly like that's kind of me right now yeah she does it with like she does every dog like hard to work with dogs like dogs that are special needs like literally breeds that like she did a chow chow and i learned so much about chow chow i didn't know they were mean as fuck i know i saw this other girl on tiktok talking about chow chows who like she walks up to people on the street in new york and like ask them about like the chow chow when she was like yeah i know the chow chow is getting like nowhere and her owner was all like no it's like mean yeah dude not only mean not friendly they like fucking yeah dude oh my god i watched that one the one below rumors don't trust oh yeah that was that was the first one that i watched and no but i'd be in the cat bag and the cats literally be like i'm like damn bite your ankle well because she'd be like you need to unfortunately wash them the first day i did watch that one though on the way oh yeah the cuteness level i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my bitch that one was dia so cute the cats literally be like yeah i'm like uh okay no it's so fun don't even worry no and there's so many dog like the dog breeds i'm like i didn't even know that was like there's hella and they've been having like breed things yeah like things about their breed yeah like she did this dog that was like that dog inbred oh really and special needs wait and she like that dog hadn't gotten groomed in like so long that dog oh girl pitiful little pomeranian i'm fucking screaming wait what's your neighborhood watch i am about to pee on myself oh sorry let me know it's tony tony like yeah and then uh and then the dogs be like the anthony bourdain um which how accurate is i don't really know it was just it was really good and i was like should i be a chef right well that's how you know it was good yeah you should try no i was thinking about it you have a kitchen island i'd be in that bitch like yeah i do make a lot of food now that i like and that's what i'm saying guys like you like i don't know girl it's just like you can get a kitchen island okay like you can physically like buy one well yeah but my kitchen don't got room for day oh like i could put it in the living room you couldn't put it on like on wheels like the one on wheels it could be on wheels but then it would just kind of give like well damn you could move it around and then i'd be like this like an overcooked that's that's how i was moving type um but anyways with that being said i was like oh my gosh this is so t um i think it's you know something that people want like they want to be a chef and they like create that but the artistry i think we do you know when we think of like art and culture and all the things i just feel like food is one of those things that like it's so beautiful and like i don't know anyways with that being said it was good i liked it a lot and um rest in peace my king yeah seriously um you'll see that and i was like damn should i be a chef no but maybe i'll work in the restaurant industry for sure like a coffee shop moment or a cafe it'd be fun emma chamberlain nachos no but she ate she ate the fuck down she ate the fuck down hell yeah okay well okay guys whoa whoa we love you guys so much we love you guys so much and we'll see you next time bye bye thank you for just always tuning in and just like subscribe like comment subscribe you've never asked for anyone to turn on the notification bell um we're here every wednesday we're here every wednesday for you i only threw this party for you we'll see you guys next party on you okay party on you party on you party on you fall never arrives all at once first the air then the light and slowly the things you love begin to find each other a jacket meets a dress a hoodie slips beneath a blazer an old cap finds a new scarf because you don't simply step into the season you create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall find fall your way at ross