Mike Feeney

What up whiskey ginger fans. Welcome back to the show. It's first time during the show. Welcome to the show. We got a good one for you today, like my man Steve Harvey done say. Do me a favor. Leave a comment down below for the Al Go rhythm. Next year is a big year for the whiskey ginger. We're expanding. Hopefully we're getting bigger and better guests. Comment down below who you want to see on the show. Also, I'm running around the country. Come see me. Andrew Santino.com for those tickets. I'm in Windsor, Ontario, Canada. Bethlehem PA, Hanover, Maryland, Borgata, Atlantic City, New Jersey. Then I'm at Valley Center, which is basically down by San Diego at the Harris. Then I'm in Canyonville, Oregon, Las Vegas, and then the Little Rodifest in Providence, Rhode Island. And also we're going to put it up the tickets for Netflix as a joke with me and Bobby Lee coming up soon. Go to Andrew Santino.com for those tickets. Andrewsantino.com. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to whiskey ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people in order to stay there for all my guests. When I meet him once again today, it is the return of Mike Feeney. Hey. Whenever I hear your name Feeney, whenever I hear Feeney, who do I think of? What do I think of? I would assume I think you're older than the Boy Meets World principal generation. I would think that maybe you go, but you're not old enough for Laverne and Shirley Feeney. That's right, I'm not Laverne and Shirley Feeney. Yeah. Yeah. So you're in that middle period. No, Mr. Feeney, Boy Meets World. You do think Boy Meets World? I know of the show. Right. But you didn't like, I didn't grow up with it. Exactly. And what are you trying to say? You're younger than me? Yeah, it's just because you're young and handsome. This guy, I said this to Feeney before we started the show and this is what pisses me off about him. Well, I mean, there's a lot of stuff. But, but I go, you're the only guy I know that had a kid and got better look at like you look happier and better than you did before you got married and had a kid. You were ugly and horrific and slovenly ugly on the inside and outside. But no, you're the only guy I know that has a young child. But you only have one. Yep. That's the key. Are you done? That's the key. I think so. Yeah. At least for now. I'll come over and root you guys on. Do you want to go for another one? Go, go, go, go, go, pump, pump. Yeah. Can we get him out of here? He's really. No, I actually need him. No, it's, I do feel I'm significantly happier in my day-to-day life post-kid for sure, but I've also just been like exercising for the first time on a consistent basis. How many days a week every day? Every day for like over, every day since January 12, I think. No way. Yeah. And it's a little things. Like if I'm on the road and there's no gym here, just do 100 push-ups, 200 sit-ups, easy. Something like that. That's, see, that's smart. I've been doing, this is, is this, I'm like, I think I'm starting to realize it's, it's lame. But I'm, I'm rowing at my house every day. Row is great. See, he laughs. You laugh because you're young and you think that's funny. Yeah. Oh, just because people have, I don't know, it, it does get a funny reaction. Row. Yeah. But it's an awful body workout. It's a full body. I didn't call it. I, I did crew in college. But this is why people make fun of me. See, I know it. It's lame. You know, but they sent me a machine, the company sent us a machine. And, and by the way, Bobby's not going to do it. So they sent it to us, they were like, would you use it and read the, we did an ad for them. And I said, yeah, I think I'd like a row machine. So they built it at my house. Thank you, McCone and Carlos. Shout out to boys. And I love it. I like it a lot. Kicture ass. Dude, it's awesome. It's actually great. And I realized why the, why it's problematic, though, why people make fun of it. Who, what villain used it daily, or they would show it sometimes on the show? Who, what villain used a row machine? Well, I'm thinking, I'm in a different direction, but I'm thinking about the Winkle Voss twins. Oh, the Winkle Vi, the Winkle Vi. Trade by. Yeah. Army Hammer. Army Hammer. And then guess who else personalized it? Kevin Spacey and House of Cards. Yes. I hated that. So now this is what it is. It's an Army Army Kevin Spacey thing. I just want a row. You got some weird sexual thing that's going to come out a few years. It's all annoying. That's the row machine. The row machine finds the deviance. That's the problem. No, no. Spacey wrote in, in House of Cards, the Winkle Vi, but you are a row. So you're a creep, too. But I was, I did it. I did it purely because, and you'll appreciate this. I'm in this kind of a show. I did it purely because the first day of, first Friday of college, my roommate and I went out to go drink and the crew, the upperclassman crew team took us out court, like bought us drinks the whole night. Got us absolutely hammered. And that was their way of recruiting us. And I was like, yeah, sure. I guess I'll wake up at five in the morning every day and like be puking, stepping on geese shit. I hated it, but I was, I was in decent shape. But now I'm in, and then I eventually, I had to get, I would have had to get knee surgery. And the, the doctor literally went, you can get knee surgery so he can keep doing crew or you can just stop doing crew. I was like, it was a, it was a snap moment where I went, oh, I never, I never even liked crew. I don't even know why I'm doing this. Yeah, absolutely. I quit. I quit, I quit. Knees. It's bad on your knees. Oh, it's so bad on your knees because you're just, you're exploding, your feet are strapped in and you're exploding backwards with your legs over and over again. I'm gonna stop. It doesn't hurt my knees. You got to find, oh, that's great. I will, but it doesn't now. And that's good. You got to find, I do picture you was like a runner, though. I picture you run around the neighborhood. I ran for years. So I ran for years, you know, so I've told this story to my, I used to run. I used to run like five miles every, every other day or so. I loved running. Yeah. But then my back and my knees and stuff, it's, that's the worst for you. And I did, I ran in, in high school, but you never, you never, you never see someone who's a runner who's in great shape. Have you noticed that? Uh, I would argue even worse shape is bikers. I always see people on a bike that are like, they're just, they're blobby. Their, their legs are great and the top is terrible. Well, it's, but in runners, they, they burn off also the muscle. So they become these gaunt, kind of weirdly skinny type of people. I just did whatever. So what are we supposed to do? Just push metal. Uh, I think that's a part of it. And then, oh, I think body weight stuff is huge. And that's actually better than pushing metal. Yes. And then yoga, I also, I'm just, you know, every white guy in his thirties. I'm, and it's a comedy, a comedian. I do jujitsu. That's what I was. You do five days a week. No way. Yeah. I can't do that. That's, I can't do that. I didn't, I didn't think I could do it. It was literally an excuse because I hate the gym. And I wanted to, and I hate working out. I hate pushing metal. So I was like, let me just find something that's different. There was a place two blocks from my house that's kind of like a world class place. So let me try that out. And then it kind of became fun because it is a full, you know, you're, you're, it's fun. It's kind of fun. I've never been in a position in my life where I'm choking people out. And it feels, you know, it feels nice. It feels nice. But you're also rolling around sweaty with another guy. Well, sure. And I'm not trying to like demean it. I just, no, it's, it sounds lame. I don't like that. Well, it's an incredibly homoerotic experience. Yeah. And even if you take one of my favorite parts, I know. That's why you're so happy. Even if you take away all that stuff. Because I'm not trying to make fun of it for the sake of like, ooh, roll the guy. I don't want to roll and wrestle with someone. I don't want to be wet with someone. Well, this, that's, so there's two different kinds. You got, you got the key, which is where you're wearing the robes. And then you got the no key, which is just like, you know, spandex essentially. And I don't like the no key, because it's that. It's so sweaty. And people are pouring sweat on top of you. And everyone's slippery. I like the gear. I like grabbing something and choking somebody with the rope. That's where I, that's right. You sit right here. Something's wrong. It feels great. That's really what it is. It feels dark. It feels good. So what five days a week you're working out, how many days a week do you have in a little bit of sauce? I'll have a drink a night usually. Yeah. And like a cocktail, you know. That's a good Irish boy stand inside. Yeah, dude. I just read that. But I work out every day so that I can enjoy my life. I'll eat ice cream. I'm not, I'm not, and there's no doubt. I eat somewhat clean, but I indulge with ice cream and alcohol. See, because of your lineage, because of Irish history that's in your blood, you, you're, you're built to have more garbage in you and filtered out quicker, because you had to. We have to. Yeah, it's not, it's just no choice. Yeah, I mean, look at this kid. He eats like shit and he's still skinny. You and he eats like shit. How young are you? 26 pisses me off. But he eats you bullshit all day, all the time. Skinny is a rail. I mean, yes, that will change by 35. Yeah. Well, that was with my dad. My dad used to be like my size, and then when he hit 35, he just, now he's like 260 of just, you know, Santa's stomach. He never exercise and drink Budweiser's whole life, but heavy. It's his whole life. So it's like, of course, that's heavy. You just, you know, that's a man's beer. Of course. He might, you're a Michelob ultra guy. By the way, dude, this year, I started drinking the ultra. I could smell it on you. I said, he's too clean, man. Dude, I did the whole, listen, I did the whole craft beer, triple light PA. I did all that shit in the, in the, in the 2000s. And I, I got it out of my system now. I, if I never have another IPA, I'm fine. Give me a nice, give me a high life, give me a Michelob ultra. My dad is such a good drinker. Him and his buddies. This is how much they drank. He memorized the entire on, on the Bud can. There's that like, this is the famous, but yeah, it's like a three paragraph thing that he was so excited to this day. And it would be like a drinking game that any time they messed it up, they had to drink again. Your dad is cool. I want to meet your dad. Yeah, he's a good guy. Well, hold you now. 37. Yeah, it's sneak and dude. And you see smell 40. It's going to be a different world for you. But yeah, but again, I don't drink. I can't remember the last time I was drunk. Like, I just kind of like, I'll make a, like I, I drink in, in moderation now. Like, I'll have, I'll make a cocktail. I'll make a margarita. I'll make a martini, you know, sometimes I do. And I'll feel like a little, I can't remember the last time I had a hangover because I think that's also the kid regulates that where I go. If I, if I get blasted, it's going to be the next, my next days. But the kid's not here, so now you're free. Yeah, yeah, tonight's going to be a problem. You're going to be a bad guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Absolutely. I knew it. be tomorrow's a waste. Dude, you reminded me of, like, because you turned me on to when I did zany's in the fall, you told me to go to bevets. Oh, yeah. Afterwards. And I, I was, I did a one show there, sold it out. Just a one night of felt so good about myself, went to the bevets by myself, got a fucking ribeye, this big garlic mashed potatoes dirty martini and just sat there. And then there was, you know, a gay guy next to me who was super interested, who's date cancelled on him. So he bought me a second martini. Oh, like, look at us. Did you go home with that guy? No, he was, he was anglin' for it. But I just, I just took the free drink. It was like, thanks so much for the conversation. Now you feel like a hot woman, finally, take the drink and move on. I finally got it. I finally got it. That's one of my favorites, one of my favorite spots in Chicago. Everyone always says gipsons, but that's gipsons. Everyone says gipsons. Get gone. Get gone gipsons. Look, I like gipsons. That is correct. Overrated, overrated, overrated, Peter Luger, overrated, overrated, overrated, overrated. My God, we went there at Mino Conor went there when he was still living in New York. And I was like, dude, this is not what I thought it was gonna be. And the stat, the whole part of a steakhouse is supposed to be that the staff is excellent quality. And the Peter Luger has this, we don't need you, you need us kind of energy, which is the first off. No, secondly, don't cut my steak for me. I don't like that. Don't cut my fucking steak for me. Sebastian. Sorry. Why did you cut the steak for me? Am I not a man? What did you think I'm a line? You think I'm a little tiny slice? Yes. You gave me a baby fork. What on a bib? No, I don't like that they cut your shit for you. Don't cut it. Just let me cut it. I'll do it. It's fine. Yeah. No, you know, I think gipsons is good. Chicago cut, like these places are all great. Sure. I like Bavets because it feels like, it feels like you're on a time machine a little bit. You go in there. It's dark. It's very like sultry. It's sexy. That the bar is fantastic. That's where I had it. It's a fantastic little like, it feels like where you'd go to have a drink and a steak. And that's what I like when I go home. It's one of my favorite stopovers. I just did it too. It was a perfect Chicago day. And also that was the day of the Chicago Marathon. So it was like the perfect Chicago. I got the entire Chicago experience in one day. And yeah, that club is so, it's so funny. I'm like, while I'm on stage multiple times, it was just like siren screaming. I opened the, there was a stabbing a block away. I mean, it's a great club. Everyone good, Zany's all done well. Well, all town wells. And that's what a historic street of fun and party. And by the way, because if you keep going up north up there, you can run into second city. I mean, everything up there is like, and it's, and man, if you are on the prowl to go have a drink at night, yeah, the the bar is up and down there. You can go get, you can have yourself a ton. You can have a tough, tough go. What's the name of the one there? There's one right across the street from there. I think it's it's still there. It's called a not tap house hold on. God, my brain is oh scramble. I think I can picture. Wait, wait, wait, there's one called it's to the right when you go across the street to the right. Yeah, what is that called? Not. I can see it. Oh, he's going to kill me to cross the street. What is he's got it? He's got it right now. Old town. Yeah, old, what is it? Old town oil. No, not old town oil. That's for net. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, did you have, did you have any, uh, I have to look it up now, because it's across the street. Is it the right a little bit? Is any Chicago? I need to do it. Hold on. It's flat. No, it's like a hold on. Take a big. Yeah, what is flat is there? But hold on, uh, the big. No, yeah, I know we're, we're me entering. I'm sorry. Okay, now this is what happened. We cut this out and puffs. No, no, leave it in. You know, the most, well, conference up the street is great. The most popular, most popular thing in podcasting is saying we'll cut this out. And no one has ever cut anything out of anything. And they shouldn't. No, leave it in. There are people that you and I both know and love who they'll, they'll do, they'll do the podcast and afterward they'll text you and be like, you got it. Can you just, can you just get that out of here? I don't feel comfortable if they said something real out of pocket. Of course. Yeah. But I also think like if you're doing that, don't say it on a pocket. Don't say it into a microphone with cameras and lights or you know this. Well, this isn't an elevator conversation. He didn't wiretapped. I saved you last time you did the show. Remember that income a cone can vouch. He did like three minute N word rant. Do you remember that? He did the Kramer rant verbatim. He did it verbatim. That was quoting it. And that was in a performative way. It's like how you can smoke cigarettes on stage because it's a performance piece. Right. Yeah, Shepel. That is the greatest hole. Shepel was like it's a performance. And he did it in a Chinese accent. Yeah, you did to the end of the chat. That was that was because Bobby was there. I want to make him feel comfortable, which he hated. What did you? What did you? What did you pull in there with? Was that a drop top Mustang? It was a drop top Mustang convertible. Hot boy, hot boy. Listen, sometimes initially you got to do that when you rent a car. You got to get a funny car. Now, by the way, I love boo is not fun. No, and I and I will say it was pure chance because I got upgraded when I got there. So that was nice. But they go, they go, do you want a convertible for the same price? I go, do I? And then they go, you can have the you can have the white Mustang convertible, or you can have the the fire engine red. And I'm like, you're going to get a Mustang. Got it. I'm going to get a Mustang. You got yourself a black Mustang. Yeah. Why? I will say this though. And from a guy who is not does not own a convertible, normally boy, oh boy, driving from LAX to West Hollywood with the top down doing 17 miles an hour on the highway. It feels like you're sitting in a skillet. Black leather interior. Get that out of there. Don't make it. I'm just I'm just cooking my right here on my thighs are both sunburned. Just direct overhead sun, scorching no place to go. And then you can and then you can't put the top up. Why not? Because you have to pull over on the side of the road and you have to put the car in park in order for it to come up. Is it automatic or it's handheld? It's you have to do it by hand. No, no. You press the button, but it won't go up unless the car is in park. That's it always fascinates me when they have like newer cars that you still have to automatically like there's a Porsche came out with a and look this up. This is crazy. Porsche came out with this is new. I like these a Porsche by the way. It is Porsche. I know, but it's like, you know, it's like a lot of things are a lot of things. You know what I mean? You could say Parmesan or Reggiano, but you know, that's what that day. Yeah, exactly. Porsche came out with a car that you it still has a manual closed roof where you physically still have to like click latch latch to get it on and off. What is it called? I don't remember if it's and maybe it's the 718. It could be this it is, right? The 718 was that right? Yeah. The 718 they still have you physically still manual click in, which I think they came back out with because it used to be automatic, but I remember seeing it on one of these car shows that I like and I was like, dude, you're going to pay that kind of money and you it doesn't do it by itself. Yeah, and then that's like one more piece that could break and then you're like, come on. The sign fell that was there with the sob, the drop top sob. Oh, dude, by the way, I had a sob. That was my second car. My I had a my first car was a 1988 Buick Skyhawk and then my dad had the sob that was he bought used and it was just nothing but problems and then he gave it to me because I totaled the other one and then I totaled that car as well, but that car spent so much time that car spent more time on the back of a flatbed than it did with either of us drive you total two cars. Well, the first one was like, it was like kind of the first car wasn't total total, but it was just such an old car that we'd I didn't want to I think it was like the brakes went and I go, oh, you didn't hit anything. No, well, I did hit something. I hit a we I hit a school bus a school bus hit me. It was like I was going to I was going to we both are coming around to turn and and the school bus it literally this I was picking up my friend to go to school high school and the sun right went right directly in our eyes like morning sun. So I couldn't see and I was you know it's a beater car so I'm I'm grinding the hubcaps against the curb because I couldn't see and I felt this big impact and we hit this bus that had children on it and stuff and they were and then the bus driver didn't get out and my buddy was in the front seat with me his dad is a cop and he's like if they don't get out you don't have to get out and I went oh really and then so we both just sat there and kind of like this Mexican standoff for a while and I looked and then the bus driver just kind of like waved their hand and he's like oh they're waving you off you're good I went okay so I just drove away to school leaving the scene of an accident with children then the next day when I was in the heist when I was in school to plain closed detective showed up to my house charged me with leaving the scene of an accident yeah like all of these all like a litany of craft thankfully the bus driver was like in a literate you know bus driver and they had and they and they got the story was all wrong they said there were four people in the car that I was it was a woman in there it was all these different things so it got dismissed like God but it would have been it would have been bad and then the second one you know I just would preface it by saying fast and the furious was at a as a cultural peak at the time so drag racing and street racing was very big and my friend had a Camaro but I had this I had this sob turbo and I was like this cars faster than your car and so we tried to do a live our life a quarter mile at a time and I but this is an automatic and I was just redlining it in neutral for I mean probably 10 full seconds and redlining it in neutral and my friend I kind of blame my friend for this because he was the one that was going to drop his hands down but he was it was freezing and so he was like shivering but I thought he was about to drop his hand because he was doing this the whole time it's all my and then I dropped it in and one of the heating pins got so hot that when I dropped it into drive it shot out and exploded my entire transmission casing like the metal casing of the car exploded and there was just metal chunks all over the ground and we were in this abandoned sort of you know parking lot not parking lot but like one of those studio parking lot areas where the office park and you know my dad was like what happened to the car I'm like oh just I tried to put it in drive in the in the middle of this office park at 11 at night. And it, uh, - Yeah, and so that got total pretty bad. - I love how you said that all bus drivers are a literate. My bus driver fan base is gonna be pissed off about that. Don't think I let that go. - Don't think that I did all bus drivers. - A literate and some guy at home like takes off his glasses and he's like, really, like, feeny? - I had a good, I had, I remember having one, she was a terrific bus driver. She was always very nice, very sweet, and then I remember your bus drivers. - I had, I remember one of them was very nice, and I remember the other one was quite literally the bus driver from South Park. That was like the screaming witch with like a bird in her hair. I was being like, "Sack down or shot the fuck!" Like it was a car, it was perfect timing 'cause I was on in the air at the same time. High school was a trip. - High school wasn't a trip, dude. I had a, dude, you wanna talk about a weird car? I used to get picked up by a husband and wife on a station wagon to take us 'cause when I was, when we were living in downtown Chicago, the school I went to was just a little bit too far for us to walk, you know, in the buses where they don't, if it's too close, buses won't get, yeah, right. So they were like, you gotta figure it out. You gotta walk your kid to school or you gotta get him a ride somehow. - Sure. - So a woman in the building, my mom doesn't even remember, but a woman in the building had been like, "Oh, this family uses this retiree and his wife and they drive together." By the way, how clever that the guy who was driving always brought his wife. So it was just like, it's not as creepy, but it still was very creepy. - Sure. - Dude, it was a station wagon. We all just piled into the back of the station wagon. Some people got the bench if you got it. - Right. - If not, you jumped in the back. - The backwards facing bench? - Nope. - Yeah, that too, right? - Yeah, but just open back, though, to the back station. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And they would just drive us to school. But if you weren't there on time and you think sweet old man, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. They were always eating and they smelled and he was very big and if you weren't there when you were supposed to be there after school, like if the kickball game just got out of control and you needed to stay in it, they would leave. And then you'd have to figure out a way to get home. And this is pretty cell phone, pretty fucking. - Yeah. - You had to figure it out. You had to latch key your way home. I joined a gang, I had to, I didn't have a choice. How was I supposed to get home, man? - Just you go. - Yeah. By the way, kickball was one of those sports where I was, I remember thinking this in elementary school being like, I am going to be a professional kickball player. I didn't know that wasn't a professional sport and I was like, there's never been anybody better at kickballing. - I'm kickball kick. - Yeah, yeah, it was very fun. - You were good at kickball 'cause you're Lanky. - Oh yeah, I was like, I could really turn one on that. - Yeah, exactly. - You know, it was always funny in kickball because you throw a ball to tag someone out, you throw them at the physical person. Someone always got hit in the face and cried and it became a thing and it was like, okay, all right, I'm sorry and then a teacher was like, you can't do that and you're like, that's the game. - Yeah. - This is just dodgeball with kicking. - Yeah. - Part of it is hitting someone in the head. Are you aiming for the head? Yes, of course. - Sure. - That makes a good out and we laugh and then it pumps up your team but it is such an obvious, you're supposed to throw it in the head. No, you should hit them in the head. - Yeah, you got to hit them. You got to head, huh? - You got to. - You got to. - You got to head. - When you were a little boy, you think your best sport was kickball? 'Cause I got to say. - Dodgeball was actually my best. - Oh, I was a menace at. Tetherball? - Oh, yeah, yeah. - We were the one going around the ball. - Menace. - Yeah. - Because I was taller and I could jump higher than a lot of people. - That's smart. - I would fuck you up. Also, right away, I was just keep- - Oh, yeah, you do the swoop too. - Oh, they can't touch it. - Come on! - We never had it here. - We didn't have Tetherball on my thing. We had that, it's not even a game. It just, you throw it into the ball. - Oh, yeah, that's how it comes out of the holes. - One of the holes and then it's like, I don't even know what's the, I didn't just go, there it is, it's this way now. - 'Cause that way, yeah. - We had Tetherball, but obviously Chicago, and then you on the East Coast, we only, you know, we got to play these outdoor games for, you know, what, two months, not even? I mean, it was, dodgeball was huge, but I promised I never had, I had no arm strength. So I couldn't throw anybody out. All I could do is dodge, 'cause I was skinny. So I was always the last person alive, and then I would just, it would just be me dodging balls until I eventually got wailed. - It sounds like your real adult life as well. Dodging balls, so you get wailed. - Mike Fini, enjoy his new special out right now. Dodging balls until I get wailed. (laughing) - Come and sleep, dude. - And we can greet up a bit next time. (laughing) - Hey, I heard about the Dodging Balls thing and we had about you a drink. - Yeah, I, yeah, I, did you have, and I know you had a, you had a big rap phase in high school, I assume, right? - I did. - Yeah, me too. - I still wanna get into it a little bit. - I had like an embarrassing one. - No, it was all embarrassing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But you're white. - Were you in a freestyle rap group? - Wasn't in a group, but I did freestyle rap with people. And then it would, then in high school college, I would get stone and get the freestyle in somebody's basement. That was like a common embarrassing thing. - Dude, this is-- - Thank God for no cell phones back then. - Yes, it's truly that. I mean, we were, 'cause this was 2000, let's say 2003, and this was, so I was probably, you know, sophomore, just right when Get Rich or Die Tryin came out and Eminem, so it was just like at the end, the height of the Eminem's beef with people and stuff. So I, we were in this group. It was just, it was all white guys. I did have one black guy, it was in the group, but he was also, maybe the whitest black guy. But, and I was just the beat guy for the most part, because I played drums, so I could just make a physical beat. And I only made one beat all the time. It was just the grind and beat by Clips. It's the best freestyle. (imitates drumming) - It's such a good beat. - It's one of the best beats of all time. Yeah, and so I would just do that. And, you know, we named our, we had a whole new, it was called choke on it, choke on it, because, by the way, and to my, you know, a lot of gay theme stuff coming out of Phoenix. - No, no, no. I will say, this is coming off, fresh off, the attitude era and the suck it generation. - Oh, which, sure. - It was, you know, it was of the time right now looking back. It was at our best work now, but we would, here's the best part about it, is that we could always just end, if you ran out of what to say in a freestyle, you would just end with choke on it. And it immediately was just, it worked every time. I feel like, ain't nobody better in a hoodie or a sweater in any type of weather in a choke on a bitch. And then it would, it would just, it would be, it would be so great, yeah, everyone would scream. And then one kid one time was like, I wanna join the choke on it, the group. And because then there was like rival ones formed, they were so embarrassing, and we were like, you got to kind of like, how do you rush for choke on it? - You just sing for yourself, see what you got. Grondon beat comes down, let's go, bro, for the very, and this kid, dude, I'm not making this up, he laid down one of these like, yo mama style freestyle that was so good that he became instantly the best person in the group. And he was like the closer, like every time, we would do it in front of other people. He would do the same rap, and it would murder every time. And I still remember it to this day. And then, so okay, so he would go, it would go, and I got some that, I'll tell you about this afterwards, so. But he would go, here we go. Your mama's so fat, how fat is it? Mama is so big in fact that she could get busy with 22 burritos when time to get rough. I seen that bitch in Taco Bell and handcuffed, and asked that, your mama's smoked crack. She got burnin' urine, and there's no turnin' back. Knuckles dragged down to the ground when she walks, spit comes out that bitch, mouth when she talks. - Choke on it bitch. - I can't tell, it went fucking. - Annihilate. - Kill every time. And people were like, where did you come up with that? And all of us were, we would repeat it. And for years, it was like a thing in our friend group, fast forward to three months ago. - He's in jail. - This was, this was 2003, fast forward to three months ago. I mean, I'm at the gym in a hotel on the road. I'm workin' out. I get into, I got, I went down a real, the far side rabbit hole, right? And I'm listenin', I'm the middle of bench press. And as I'm bench pressing, this song comes on, called yo mama. It was word for word, that thing, that whole thing. It's the far side, it's the far side. Nobody knew a 1992 rap in 2003 as a high school kid. We weren't, we weren't that bad, but this one kid, this little fucking hack, sneak theft plagiarizer, came in, presented this as his own, just added choke on it. He's like vanilla ice being like, I didn't steal on the pressure, I just did ding, ding, ding, like that, and I texted all of my friends the song. I go, that I, I have in some of them, I haven't even talked to him since high school. I go, dude, look at this, look at this. And all of them had no idea. And it feels like my whole childhood was a lie now. - Well, well, it was. - It was, the kid. - Wait, wait, you figure out the Santa isn't fucking real. Blow your mind, dude. Everything was a lie. This bastard, what is he doin' now, this guy? - I don't know. When here's the thing, no one can pin down, who was the, we're like, what was that kid's name? And we're like, I can't remember the kid's name, we did it, because you're like, think about a kid that's listening to the far side, it's such a genius thing, like, let me take a rap from 15 years ago that no one's gonna know. - No one's gonna know. - And I'll say, and it's like a deep cut. It's not even like they're one of their main songs. - And it was good for that kid. - It was pretty clever. - It was such a good, raw, I mean-- - Survival technique for him. He wanted to be a part of socket, and what did he, he needed to steal? - Dude, when I was listening to it. - Or gag on it. This is how in denial, no, no, no, no, no, choke on it. - Yeah, choke on it, choke on it, choke on it, please. - In here, we pour whistle. - Confident shouldn't be complicated, guys. So, all right, through him, you can skip the guesswork and get access to care that actually fits your lifestyle, straightforward, stress-free, and design around you. ED is a real thing, all right? Sometimes there's not enough water flow, all right? The dam's a little clogged, it's gotten older, right? There's some muck in the way. Well, let him's offer you access to ED treatment options, ranging from trusted generics that cost 95% less than brand names to hardmints if prescribed. I'm telling you, him's is gonna be your digital front door. They get you back to your old self with simple 100% online access to trusted treatments for ED and more, all in one place. Don't be shy, guy, get yourself him's to help that ED. To get simple online access to personalize affordable care for ED, hair loss, weight loss, and more, visit hims.com/wiskey. That's hims.com/wiskey for your free online visit. Hims.com/wiskey. You shouldn't have to go out of your way to feel like yourself. Hims brings the expert care straight to you with 100% online access to personalized treatment plans that puts your goals first. You don't got to go out to get what you need, stay at home, and let hims help you do it. Actual price will depend on product and subscription The plan featured products include compounded drug products, was the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality. Prescription required, see website for details, restrictions and important safety information. (upbeat music) - Thank you. I like to interest you. - When I heard that rap, I was in such denial. I'm like, did they like hear ours? And they recorded it retroactively. - Right. - How did the far side steal that from Alex? - From 12 years later, then how did they? - Far side, they'll great reference to that group. - Leavable. - So good. - Love the far side. Yeah, I got into a lot of those types of, I mean, I was always into, like people they'd introduced me. Like, I think we talked about sage Francis before. - Love sage, love the best. - Love sage, shout out sage, he was great. - Still is. - I met him before, he was nice. Him and I, we made a vine together. After one of his shows, one time at the knitting factory in Brooklyn, because vine was big. He was actually doing funny stuff on vine. I was like the first social media thing that I was got a little bit of a following on. So yeah, we call Francis, can you name his alter ego? - I thought it was sage Francis. - Nobody has another name. I mean, you know, another pseudonym that he went by. - Well, what was it? - Zolzan. - I don't know, man. - Yeah, this is a deep cut shit. That's like really, that's really digging if you, if you really were a fan. (laughing) - C-Lion. - So you did a fucking vine with him. (laughing) - Zolzan. - Yeah, it was great. - You know what so funny, you know how powerful sage Francis was? - Uh huh. - The song, big shift Patriots? - Yes, did I tell you the story already? - No, I just fucking know. - Oh, you knew what I was gonna say? - No, I don't. - God, what grade was I in? Maybe a political science class or some bullshit like that? But I read, I read that, the lyrics to that, two-class, and my teacher was kind of like a rad, younger dude, and he was like all fucking about it because the lyrics to that are incredible. And like I remember so vividly hearing it for the first time and how good he was at articulating something without being so on the nose about it. - Yeah. - When he says, "That's exactly what the attack "when a typically darkskin' Disney villain "use civilians against civilians "and drive the Trojan horses into our buildings." And imagine saying that to a group of kids in high school. - Yeah. - Like saying, and they were all like, "Who wrote that?" (laughing) Is that a poet? But obviously, I'm not claiming it as my own, but I was like, this is a song by this guy, sage Francis, who a lot of my classmates had, no fuck. I mean, there was a group of hip-hop heads that I went to school with at like in my friend group that we all loved it. Like my buddy Tyler and I were like hip-hop nerds, but like, you know, reading that to a classic hits, they were like, "Who is this fucking guy?" - Yeah. - But when I read the lyrics of that song, I remember how hard it like hit people were, by the way, this is also 'cause 9/11 had just happened. - Yep. - And it was my senior year of high school maybe, and I remember how like heavy that was. People were like, "Wow, that's a pretty powerful thing "to sing about given the circumstances." And it's very articulate. - You know what I mean? - He was always so articulate that when you listen to, he's like a movie, I love that, yeah. - There's not one of those rappers where you go like, "What is he saying?" Like, "Oh, you can clearly, his dictation was very-- - Unbelievable. - Slow down Gandhi, all they say. Yeah, it was great. - Oh yeah, dude, he mistrust. - Who did you love the most? I had the least articulate lyrics where you're like, "I don't really, I can't really understand every word." - I mean, obviously like "Buster Rhyme" right now. - I'm thinking about it in the underground world like that, like in the more of the independent world. - I mean, I remember like, who is that? - Asa Brock. - Asa Brock, I was 100% the most confusing and I loved him. And he's very smart, but like that was one where I legitimately like, I would listen to it over and over and over again in the car and still not understand what he was fucking saying. Like, what is the daylight? Daylight was one of my favorite songs. - You just have your own version of what that song is and you're gonna be aroused to singing. - Just like my mom does it all the time. We're she'll sing a lyric to a song and I'll go, "That's not what they're saying." And she's like, "Shut up, who cares?" - Do you know what I mean? - I like that. - I love that response. - But no, she's right, but I'll hear my mom say a pop sing a popular song, but the song "Daylight." Play the beginning of "Daylight." We'll cup this out 'cause we can't use it. - Look at this, there we go. - Classic cut it out. - Do you want me just to read it? - Yeah, let me try it. Oh, this will be good. Let me try to guess what he's saying. - There we go. - What is it? - Put one of for Shackle Me Not. - What, see? - Put what, say that again? - Put one up for Shackle Me Not. - Uh huh. Pro clean logic, wait, procreation. Clean logic, clean logic, procreation. - Clean logic, procreate. - Pokemon I meant Shackle No, no, no, no. - I did not admit the wheel. I was a crooked spoke adjacent. - That one's pretty good. - Well, the other, well, the other, hold on. Pokemon I meant, I was a crooked spoke adjacent. Well, the other lasso's, fuck, what is it? - Well, the triple six, the lasso's. - Well, the triple six, the lasso's keep, keep angels roped in the basement. I walk around the, I walk around the block with the halo poking your, poking your patients. Walk around the block with the stick poking your patients. - I walk the block with the halo on the stick poking your patients. - Yeah, see, I couldn't remember it as clean as I could. - Isn't that fucking what? - It's so good. - It's so fun when you have, like, you just hear that thing. - He's fucking brilliant. - And you just go, what are you saying? - I fucking love it. - Yeah, like I'm catching every fourth word. - And you're like, oh, I bet if I knew all that, this would be sick. - But we used to sing it, like me and my buddy Baldina. We would sing it, and we didn't, I mean, I knew we were new pieces of it. Unless we looked up the book. - Dude, I was gonna say, remember they had the liner notes to tell us some places that lyrics. Can you imagine if we had the Spotify karaoke ver, like, you know, the, how they have like, the lyrics come up and they highlighted karaoke style. You go, if we had that as kids, it would be insane, you know? - That Ellen bit would never have been popular. Remember that Ellen bit about words? - No. - That was like, I was like off her, off her-- - Wasn't a big, Ellen fan, never liked Ellen. When she left the country, I feel like I did that. That was me. - She had that, she used to have that. It was like one of her classic, classic Ellen bits, you know? You know, it would be a mean to step. - Was she doing it? - She did it. - Bullying step. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Bullying people making 30 grand a year. - It was my fucking coffee. - So you, oh, I can't pay rent. - Fuck you. - Oh, so you do know the better. I know the better. - No, she has that, she had that bit about being like, when you sing the wrong lyrics and you get corrected in how embarrassing it is if you go like, you go, monkey hatch it, and they go, that's not what you're saying, and they go, what? He goes, oh, does she have it? Oh, sorry, I thought it was monkey hatchet. And the bit goes on and on. - Yeah, it is. - I get it. - There's a lot of, it's a lot of, it's a lot of formets. - Although you look like a lesbian, you don't do lesbian material well, Phoenix. I don't know what that is. - Well, dude, you know what though? I do, I remember, maybe it was college, but a girl was singing, I'll never be your pizza burner. And I was like, what? Are you saying pizza burner? And my buddy, Colin Rivers, she was so embarrassed. She was like, no, I mean, I don't know whatever the fuck it is. - That's just the worst, when someone asks you that question in the tone like that and you lose all confidence in everything. - Oh, but also the name of the song is Beasts of Burden. - Yeah, like, it's not even of where it's like, it's not even proplean logic creation. - Right, right, right, right, right. - It's not like embedded in all, the name of the song is fucking Beasts of Burden. Couldn't be more clear. - And she was so mad, like, the moment of the fuck you got, that's not funny. - Right. - It's not funny if you mean about it. - Oh, that sucks to not take it like that. - And you're like, come on, dude, it's like, who cares? Oh, did I share it on the fucking The Stevie Wonder thing? Did I sell that? - Yeah, we said that yesterday. - Oh my god. - Damn, no, I had great. - No, no, no, no, no, it was just, we were at this thing with a restaurant with a friend and this woman who was, you know, like a. - You didn't. - No, maybe I didn't. - And I not to share it, we talked about it off camera. - Get in. - We were at a birthday thing and this woman who is a friend of a friend who I didn't know and it's this guy's date and this guy is very like this kind of guy, so you know what kind of date he had. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like my wife was like, I wonder if I should wear this to the restaurant, is it classy enough as I had to? And then we got there, I was like, well that girl's pussy's out so I think you're gonna be fine. And this girl is sitting at the table. And of course, someone at the table was like, Stevie Wonder right there and I'm like, no way. It's like Stevie Wonder and I turn around. Stevie fucking Wonder and like two people next to him and he's just a kind of standing there and this girl catches when she's like, there's Russian woman, she's like, who is that, what way or what? And then we go, Stevie fucking Wonder is right there. She goes, what, really? And the table, they start walking behind our table. She turns, waves to him. - Hilarious. - I go lady. - Unbelievable. - And so we all start laughing. And she's like, well, why, why, why, why? And we're like, he's blind. - Why is this too funny? - I go, he's not gonna, he's not gonna see it and she goes, how will I know his blind? I was like, he is, he is, he is more famous for being blind than anything else. His music is secondary, I would say to being blind. - Definitely, if you look up Wikipedia, I said, if you opened up Wikipedia to blind, he's gotta be the guy. - It's, it's, also, if you open up his biography, it's in the first sentence I would imagine. - A blind musician, it might be the first, yeah. - Second word, yeah, yeah. - Or just the first one, blind musician. - Blind musician, famous for, yeah. - Yeah, but that, and she didn't take the joke well, but I thought, come on lady, half the laugh, he's fucking blind. - Right. - Also, I did like that she waved at him for a second because I thought, if he waves back, we're gonna find out something. - Right, or if he just does this, you know? - Isn't there a video of him where he like catches something? - I saw the video, and by the way, they're not unaware of their presence. He's not blind in the, he's not black blind. Like all the way, black blind, what am I? (laughing) Jesus Christ. - Oh my God. - He's white blind, he's not black blind. And black blind is less superior than, no, he fucking, so insane. No, I mean, he doesn't see all black. He doesn't see all black. - Right. - He's not completely blind. - He's vision is not color blind. - No, no, but they say they can, a lot of people that are blind can see stuff. - Like amorphous blobs. - Exactly. - Which is what we call his ex girlfriend, amorphous blob. Why was that not a character in Star Wars? - amorphous blob. - Yeah, just this fucking amoeba looking thing. - I met, I met Mark Campbell the other night when I did, when I did TV, which was kind of wild. - What's he doing? He looks very, I feel like he's very short. - Well, he's, no, he's not that small of a guy, but they prompted me to be like, do you want to talk to him? I talked to Hamill, like if he stays, do you wanna talk to him on the panel about Star Wars? And I was like, I'm not a big enough fan. I'm not a fan. - Yeah. - I'm gonna say I'm not a fan. Because I like Star Wars. - I'm not a fan. - Well, it was cool, I guess, when I saw it, but I'm not gonna pretend to play catch up with the people that are fans and Bobby's a big fan. And we fight about it all the time because I always say the woman doing the prompt for Kimmel, she was like, you know, do you have any, you know, bits that you'd wanna do about that. And I'm thinking about jokes that I would run. And I was like, not really because they'd all be negative. And then Star Wars fans would hate me. - Right. - Because the bit I did say, my buddy Adam Lustig and I used to joke. He's like, what's up with making up a whole fake world? This world is pretty fucking crazy already. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Because if you've ever been to Baltimore, it's insane. That's-- - What was the bar, what's the bar that he always references in the fucking Star Wars? - Oh, that tattoo-y. - Yeah, that tattoo-y, you know, whatever, yeah. - That's what it was. People are gonna be furious in the comments. That's not the name of the bar. But that's what he said. Lustig was like, Baltimore is tattoo-y and dude, that's the most fun, that's the highest collection of lunatics you've ever seen. - The Cantina. - The Cantina and Cantina, that's right. - By the way, should I have had a better name? Star Wars, Cantina? - Yeah. - You put a Mexican-themed bar and tattoo-y. - Just chips and salsa on every table. (laughing) - Oh, a table-side guac, huh? (laughing) - And Star Wars would've been to see like a multi-armed thing making that, that would've been pretty rare. - Salantro, guys. - Do we need table-side guac? - Do we need it? - I think they charge extra for that. - Of course they do. - I don't need it. - Of course they do. - And it's never ever, ever is good. - You say yes. - Oh, I do mean as opposed to regular guac? - I'm just saying, I don't think, I don't think I need to see a naked table-side. They do it now as a show. I don't think it's necessary. - No, and not only that. - Caesar salad at steak houses. You don't need to fucking make it in front of them. - But here's the other, here's the main part. You have no quality assurance. If you're in the kitchen, every good chef, they'll try a little bit of the product. And then they go, "Ah, actually, it's a little too limey. "It needs a little bounce out." When they make in front of you." And then they're like, "Huh? "And they watch you." - And you're like, "Oh, it's good." But wait too much cilantro. It's always a mess. - I disagree with cilantro as an existence as a whole. I think it's bullshit. I think it does it. - Overpower. - It adds nothing. It adds nothing. Salt can bring out what you need out of avocado, and pico, and onion. - Lime juice. - You do not need cilantro. - I also will say get the red onions out of there. - Get the raw red onions out of there. - Now we're red and impass, because I love red onions. - That's a hard, uncooked raw red onion is a hard burn. - We're married. We're not kissing anybody but our wives. - It's just they could take the onion hit. - I don't even care about the breath. It's that I get like, auditioned. - Indigestion. - Yes, I always forget that you're part Jewish. - I'm not. - Yes, you are. - Yes, you are. - I am not part Jewish. - Yes, you are, dude. - I get super bad. - Jesus, dude. - Relax. - I sleep out. - I flip the whole table. - I'll burn this down. - I'll burn this. - It's like, "Don't tell me, dude, don't get me there." - I just don't think I need to see stuff made in front of me at the table. They did it the restaurant the other week. And I was like, "I don't need to see that, man. It's a whole fucking get up. Just make it in the back and I'll eat it when it gets you." - Yes. And in the back you're making it bigger quantities, again, my thing is just the quality of sure. - Well, now we're on the cantina talk, because I am curious about your opinion now. A chunky salsa, soupy salsa, right? Because some places have soupy sauces. Some places have very chunky salsa. It's soupy is a very negative connotation. So I think, well, you say soupy, I'm thinking of watery. Now, if it has the, like, a mulsified blended thing where it's kind of like a big-- - Correct. - That's what I say when I say soupy and you're right. I was leading you negatively, I should have said. Then I prefer the emulsified nice thickened a little bit. But if my other option is the watery one, then I want the chunk. - Now you gotta have chunk. I think chunk is king. - You need both as my opinion. - See, I just think-- - And a chunk. - Okay, but then we're talking color. Now we're talking green versus red. Green should always be a part. I don't even know how red is green sauce. - Yes, but it's like a perfect, mild little heat. Like that should be on every-- I don't know why red became the go to. I think we should have-- - This is my, okay. - Slow down. - You don't like red. - You're killing him. (laughing) - It's not of a bitch. - It's funny, by the way, I think you and I, how often are you told that you, like, are people in your comment or whatever being like, this guy on coke? - You slowed out, on coke. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You and I are the same energy of coke, yes. - And I've never done coke in my life. - You know this, I've never done coke. By the way, I love saying I've never done coke or Adderall, and the amount of people are like, yeah, fucking right. (laughing) - I know what you want me to do. - You want me to think the lie about me. - Yeah, no, I've done a lot of fucking drugs. I've talked about them on the show a lot. - Right. - I just, I'm not interested in coke. - Yeah, it just, the reason I don't, I've never tried coke is because-- - Look at us now, that's why. - Yeah, look at us. - We're too much. - Yeah. - Now what do you, what do you not try? - Your buddies have, you've been offered it. - His name was Pix, and he was just like a big, kind of like dirty guy, and he lined up just five of fat rails and did all five one by one. And then literally picked his head up, and was like, and then just stared at me in silence while gacking out like this, and then was like, you want one? And I just was, it was so disturbingly jarring that I'm like, I was also a little stoned at the time. So I was extra sensitive to everything, and I was probably drunk, and I just was like, I think I'm all set in your parents' walk, and they pay him, they're like, thank you. That was the best don't do drugs at. We've ever had. He's like, yeah, I'll do whatever, more people if you want me to get him to be quick. - For more Coke, for more Coke, for more Coke. - Now I just saw too many of my friends on Coke and annoy me, drunk is also very annoying when your friends are too fucked up. Too stoned, I've never had a too stoned party where I was like, that guy's pissing me off. If anything, I'm like, I got a walk. I just want to take a walk for a while. But Coke parties, if you're there, and a lot of people are doing yacht out, I'm like, dude, shut up, please go away. It's just like, they can't wait for you to get done talking, so they're kind of like, I think what's going on? What's going on? - Love that, love that, love that. - Love that, love, love, love, love, love, love. Your dad is from there. - Yeah. - And you're like, yeah, my dad is from, why are you, why do you know that? - That's it. - They do Coke and they just start, they know a little bit more about your life than they do before. - Well, just remember things you might have mentioned years ago. It like pops into their crevice of their brain. It's like, yeah, your brother went to tech for like a year and a half. Didn't he? And then he dropped out. Why did he get that job? He was like, fishing for scallops? Yeah, dude, that's crazy. - That's like for scallops. - You're like, "Fuck, dude, how do you know that?" But the amount of times I sat in a garage and high school smoking pot with people listening to music. Those days I'll never get back. And honestly, I don't want them. - Do you have these, I don't want them. - And I'm sure there are for sure this way in LA, there's some LA comics, but there's, there's a couple of New York comics, one in particular I'm thinking of. And it's one of those things where he goes, very, very sweet guy, very nice. I don't think he, I think he's the most sober I've ever met of someone, but he just has, he's a guy who we're not friends and he knows too much about me. You know what I'm saying? About my, like, he'll come up to me. I don't even think you would know, I'm honestly. But he will come up to me and he'll go, he'll go, "Hey, my, direct, unflinching eye." Hey, Mike, how are you? How's Leo? Like, I was like, "Why do you know my kid's name?" We've never, I've never spoken to you about my kid. I don't know. - You really talk about him online. It's not like you show your kid online. I never put up a pick. - How would he know that? - I heard it through the grapevine somewhere. - I guess so, but he's always like, it just weirds me out that he knows my kid's name for some reason. And again, he's a very nice guy, but it's so off-putting 'cause he's like, "We're not, you should be like, how's the family?" You know, or something. - Dark joke, dark joke, dark joke incoming, but also to get him to stop. Just be like, "Leo died, man." He'll never talk to you again. - It's over. - That guy will be like, "It's over." - It's over. - You know, like, thanks a lot, dude. - Have a good night, man. - Thanks for bringing that up. - Have a good set. - It's a fresh wound. - Have a good set, man. Leo's dead. - It's a good set screaming, they just start scream crying. I'm not over it, I'm not over it, I'm not over it. - By the way, the guy would never talk to you ever again. God, I got it. You have to tell me after, remember that, remember, remember. - Yeah, I guarantee you won't know. - I guarantee you won't know. - Is your kid gonna be a big boy or no? - Like what? - Size wise. Is your wife tall? - She's tall for a lady. I think she's probably five, eight or something like that. - That's tall for her, that's that is tall. - And you're what? - Six, two. - Yeah, dude. That's gonna be a big boy. Are you prepping him from what sports you want him to play even though he's not gonna do that? - Oh yeah, already took him, already took him to a Yankee game. He got to see his first home run, the Yankee Stadium, which was, did he could he receive that? - Yes, because he was very, 'cause I was explaining, I took him to a game a year ago. He had no memory, obviously, of anything like that. But two and a, oh, he's gonna be three next month, bring him to the game. On the Yankees, there's a first-based name, Ben Rice. And I was like, oh, Ben Rice is coming up. And he just started laughing, like Rice. And I'm like, oh yeah, it's like Ben Corn, you know? And he just, he couldn't believe that someone's name was also food. And he was laughing so hard. And then Ben Rice had this 10-pitch at bat where he's falling stuff off. And he was so locked in. And in between each pitch, they were playing, like, we will rock you, we're just a little, you know, they played those little quick, small snippets. And he was kind of dancing to each one of those. And I go, we gotta see, maybe he'll hit a home run and this is the first standing. And he hits, after a 10-pitch at bat, he hits a three-run fucking bomb. And the whole stadium explodes. And him and I are just like jumping up. And he sort of danced for five full minutes after that. It was so fun. And he'll never remember that. But ever since then, we just, like, Ben Rice has now his favorite boy. - I was just like, get him a Reister. - Yeah, he's got Aaron Judge above his bed. I really kind of let him in. I want to get, I would like to get him into, getting him into Jiu-Jitsu would be awesome if for no where the reason. Then I can't imagine having that knowledge in high school or even middle school of not being, you don't have to worry about being attacked by somebody. It's like, dude, because those kids become this quiet confident, obviously, there's a little, there's discipline two and two. But just being able to walk around high school, being like, if I get bullied, I can destroy somebody. I see little, there's, like 10 year olds that go to the place that I go to, and they're like intimidating for a 10 year old, you know? Where they have this, and they're not, they don't flaw on it, they're not like, I'll be sure-- - They just know they have it in there. - It's this quiet confidence of going, I could fuck you up if I have to, and dude, that would have really gotten me out of a lot of pickles in high school. - Put 'em in it, put 'em in it. How, when can they start five? - I think like five is probably the time that they start doing that stuff. - That's when we started wrestling around five. Five or six when you get with your friends, and you kind of like someone would get pushed, and then you were like, would let's all jump on 'em, and then it became a-- - Yes. - Then it became like someone would fight back, and then there was a struggle, you're like, whoa, I mean, they're like, they're rolling. They're really going for it, yeah, they're rolling, dude. But as we were also like, what I grew up, it was the wrestling, our professional wrestling era. So it was WWE. So everybody's just practicing elbow drops and choke slams. It's not, you know, we would, we would stage fights on our trampoline, 'cause we had that little net around it, so we'd throw people off the road. - Oh, yeah, they were safety net? - The duck around, yeah, my dad was like, the insurance, what are you outta your mind? We were not getting a trampoline, you know, it was a whole, it was a whole thing. - trampoline was never a sell for my dad. My dad was like, what? - Yeah. - No, dude, you hurt yourself all the time everywhere else. You're skateboarding, you're rolling on hills on bikes, you don't need to fucking trampoline. It's like another thing for you to break your neck on. - Dude, I'll never forget my friend jumping on a trampoline and he tried to do a backflip and we're all like, yay! And he landed directly on his neck, and I watched it like, like, do that. And we just, we're laughing at him 'cause it's funny, 'cause he ate it and stuff, and I remember him trying to play it off, but being like, - Paralyzed. - Paralyzed. - I remember him getting paralyzed. It was wild. - He just went like this. He was like, "Oh yeah, they really hurt, though." (laughing) He went home and for days he couldn't move his neck. It was very fun. We used to do dumb shit, dude. We would do donuts while someone was on the hood of the car. We would do donuts in the car. - Well, that's like a man's slaughter. - And we would hold onto their ankles. We were not animals. But it was, you know, jackass was everything. We would just do the jack, we would see the jackass. Don't do this at home. Don't send us submissions 'cause we're not gonna watch him and we're like, "I know what they mean." You know, they just wanna see a bad ass one. That's what they're really looking for. - That was a young age I learned about legal, where I was like, they just have to say that. We could do it. - Exactly, exactly. - Like you knew that you were like, "Well, we're all trying it. I wanna jump into a tree." I remember what those guys jump out of parking garages like into a buff of a tree. - Yeah. - And I was like, "Fuck, dude, should we try that?" - Yeah, and that hurts so much. - That's the dumbest thing. - We did those shopping cart thing where you brought-- - We did that bullshit. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. We tried to drink the gallon of milk in an hour, we all just threw up everywhere. - But the shopping cart thing, in retrospect, also broken neck right around the corner. - Shatter knees. - Shatter knees. - Right around the corner of the one. - The neck that goes the wrong way. - It's only metal. - It's only metal. - It's only heavy metal that you're slamming into. - That's like whenever I see those golf cart videos online, people like spinning out and golf carts drunk. I'm like, "Oh yeah, when they flip." - The amount of people I know, they've gotten very hurt, drunk doing dumb shit in golf carts, like dumb fucking shit. It hurt very fucking bad. - The whole thing, I mean, it's hundreds of pounds landing, huh? - Did you ever have like a punk or rock or metal phase or anything like that? I don't feel like-- - Rap was it for me, hip hop. I liked rock a lot. I liked punk for a little while. Rancid, love big rancid fans. - Oh, okay. - And I've come the wolves, one of the best. No effects. I liked a lot of that stuff. - Okay. - I liked punk, like pop punk. - No, not pop punk, but like punk. - No, that was punk punk, yeah, that was good. I liked that era for a little while, but it was only because it was parallel to rapping the way where it was like anti-authority against the grain. - That's why I got into, I mean, raging against the machine and system of lockdown. - Fuck, it was like all of it. - It was angry against the system. - I just saw something down in court a couple weeks ago. But where? - Met life stadium. It was great. - They played together? - Yeah, they were on tour. - Oh, is that the video of the guy that was jerking off? They got knocked out? - Yeah, that was the night before I was there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the next day. - Hey, hey, hey. Can't take me down, you know? But it was great. It was so much fun, there was a bunch of comics there. It was just, it was such a fun, I always like, dude, I was, I got big into corn at one point in my life. I was probably in sixth grade. I got corn shaved in the back of my head. K in the backward dog, you kidding me? For years, we were like, are you the corn kid? I'm like, I'm actually Ben Rice. But it was, but it was, no, I got into a slip. I didn't get into a mosh, but into that was the shit. - What was that? - The wall of death you ever seen those before? - Oh yeah, those look so bad. - Lamb of God, Osfest, they split the crowd. - So you do that, you were that. - I was always into that, dude. It was, can I remember going to a system of a down concert, what was continental airlines arena? And it was, and I remember going to a mosh, and the mosh, but system of downfans are kind of big football linebacker, you know, just like, they just pushed, and then you pushed me, and I pushed you, and you pushed me. Like that, and I was going in there with Long Island hardcore scene moves, which is like eagle kicks and like sharp elbow, and full, you know, throw in the things. And it was the first time in my life, I ever saw guys that were significantly bigger than maybe like, whoa, like they backed away from me. So, I just get spas and out, and he's bony and sharp. Let's just fucking stay the all the way from him. - The bony sharp kid, watch out for the bony sharp kid, man. - You could split, you could split some people open. - Well, yeah, elbows are wild. That's right, whenever I see, like in UFC fights, elbows, elbows, elbows, my God. Whenever you see that, like a spinning fucking fist or elbow. - My God, the guy who teaches at the, at the judic place, they also do Moita there, and they're like, they're like, I can't stress this enough. If you're ever in a fight, they're like, do not punch. Like the second, the first punch you will shadow your hand. Almost like, 99% of the time, if you punch somebody, you're gonna break your hand, this is the elbows. Always elbows. - Just elbows. - Then you're like, it's stronger. Your elbows are strong, you can cut 'em up, you know. - And so much waking it behind it. - So much. - At UFC in Chicago, when I went to go sit behind Rogan. I think it was the first time in UFC history that two knockouts, back to back were, not back to back, but two spinning knockouts. - I don't know if it was, I can't remember if it was fist or elbows, but it was the first time in UFC history. And Rogan was like, I've never seen that twice. - That's awesome. - That's insane to watch. 'Cause when you see people throw 'em and try, you're always like, oh yeah, usually misses, or it clips a little bit, but when it's clean, you're like, oh my God, the sound is insane. - The sound hurts so much, the sound hurts to hear. I remember trying to do Moita for a little bit, and I miss the heavy bag, 'cause it was like moved a little bit. And I just, I like hyper-extended my elbow to it hurt for days. If you throw a punch at maximum efficacy and you miss, it feels like someone just shot your elbow. - Oh, dude, I got the funniest image, I wish, this is such a, this is such a, you had to be there at moment, but it was beautiful. But I mean, years ago, my buddy Jim, a fight broke out at a birthday party that we were at, at my girlfriend's house, apartment. And fucking, Jim, Jim was like, he's strong, dude. It was a hockey player, and tough his nails, and a fight breaks out, and this guy hits a friend of his, a guy that I know, who I actually didn't mind seeing get hit. I was like, yeah, I guys not the best. - It's kind of fun. - But Jim was trying to defend it, so he jumped. And when I mean, he left, he was horizontal to the ground. I'm not kidding at all. - Superman, but he was super bad. - Dude, he jumped so hard and far and fast to get over this thing of people, and he jumped, and he flowed, I remember watching him flow like, whoa, and he missed this guy by like a foot and bounce bounce. And it was fucking unreal, dude. I was like, no, Jim, he probably knocked it. - He knocked it. - Oh, and you could tell he had heard him so much, 'cause he missed by like, it was like a country mile. He was like, fuck, you know we're near him. - And then they try to scramble up and like, get 'em out the fucker, like, oh, he bounced him. He was like, I just moved around until the fight had like, moved to somewhere else. And then it was quiet, then when it was all done, I was like, Jim, are you good, dude? That was so bad. And he's like, yeah, fuck that, that's suck, that sucks. And it wasn't even embarrassing, because it was like so shocking to watch it. - It was like, are you okay? - Whoa, dude. - You bounced off the fucking, it's like tile floor. - You're gonna broken a rib, that's it, as everything intact. - Dude, fights are never, like when they're not sanctioned, fights like an in-person house party fight, was always so underwhelming and borderline embarrassing. - Embarrassing, it's always embarrassing. - It sounded like someone hitting raw meat, and then the second the first punch, people are, they're just scrambling and running. No one, everyone's taking these wild haymakers away. - No one has any technique. It's throwing as hard and fast as you can. - Hard as you can. - And also holding their breath while doing this. - This isn't sexist at all, but go on. - Honestly, every time a girl would try to run into one of those things and gets accidentally punched or hit or put in your leg, what did you think was gonna happen? - Yeah. - Do you think we're gonna break it up when two men were like just monkey brain, like, (laughing) - You think that was gonna stop by going, "God, he's kept!" - And she gets smogged for her hand. - Oh, and the amount of times I saw like a young lady jump and do it, cut it up, put it and then get either like clipped or hit or what, you're like, "Lady." - Oh my God. - Clearly that wasn't gonna work out, right? - Dude, you just unlocked a memory for me of this kid, and we were at this, we always see you in college. We saw underage drink at this bar, O'Brien's, and we were, and it was like, dude, it was like I had, I looked like I was 12, and everybody was in there, and it was Halloween, and there was a Halloween party, and it got raided, like it would once or twice a year. - Of course. - But you know, and this one kid was just hammered and just, you know, John at the cops and he's shut enough, and they were trying to take him out, and then the girlfriend said something like, "Fuck you pig!" or like something like that. - Fuck you pig. - So good. - "Fuck you pig!" - Dude, the cop slingshot this guy out of the bar because they got so mad at her that they took it out on her. They slingshot this guy out of the bar. He loses his footing, and dude, he goes, eyeball first into a parking meter. - Oh my God. - Like a ball. - I heard like the change rattle inside the meter. (all laughing) And it just was like crank, like that, and he broke his whole eye socket, and he was just, he was fucked for months after that. And he was so drunk that when he first said it, he's like, "I'm being assaulted." You know, like you know when you just have, when you're so drunk that it's just, you know, there's so many times that I got carried out of bars with my degenerate long hours. and friends that we would go to these, you know, every year from my birthday, I would do a, all you could, you know, three hour open bar and we would do shots of Everclear before leaving for the open bar. And then it was, there was one time I fell asleep at a urinal at the, I think it was like off the wagon or one of those, you know, like Jake Stillema, all of those, you know, college bars. And the, a bouncer came up to me 'cause I was a sleepstanding at the urinal and he was like, time to go, buddy. And I was pretty like, okay, about it. And then I, as I, I remember the only man everybody would browned out, but I remember being in the cab and like just kind of, you know, when you're so shit-faced in the cab and think everyone's shuttling you around and I look out the window and as I, their car's driving away, I picture this clear a day. My best friend from home, one of my friends is in a huge, like in a tumbleweed brawl with security who is four times the size of him and thoroughly kicking his ass and then another one of my friend is openly pissing into man into the street. And I'm like, you know, and then I put the window down like if that joker had out the window thing for the whole ride. (laughing) - That image is beautiful. - So the best nights of my life. - Just getting some fresh air. (laughing) - You throw up, I'm charging you. - They always. - Don't you go to the cab, dude. - Don't you fucking puke. - So then don't drive so fucking, you know. - Yeah, a quirky jerky, dude. - It's like, by the way, I'm gonna throw up. - I'm gonna throw up. - What did you think was gonna happen? - Hey, don't park outside, look at me. I've got shuttle, I got, I got fucking. - Like you were getting it burning into this goddamn cab. - What was that in the guillotine? I don't know, like the hands are locked in there. - What is that one? - Oh god. - Come on, I had it until you said guillotine. - No, the stardom, the stardom, the stardom, the stardom. - Why can't I think of the name of that? - Stardom, what is it called? - In the stock, in a stockade. - Stardom, stockade. - We got it, we got it, we got it. When your arms are in a fucking stockade and you walk out of the car like that. They're like, dude, don't let this guy down. Dude, that's why, that's why there should be drunk uber. I think we picked, do I pitch this on bad one time? There should be blacked out uber. There absolutely should be, if you're really fucked up. - It is of plastic down in the back. - And also, it's a little bit more expensive, but they know it's coming. - Right. - And it's gonna be annoying, but they're like, that's fine, they're blacked out, but the case would be, it'd be more expensive because it's the driver and there's gotta be someone in the front as well. 'Cause the driver's gonna need help sometimes. - 'Cause sometimes blackouts do insane shit. - Yes, I think it should be almost like a police car. - Uber black. - Where they can eat black hyphen out. - Yeah, yeah. - You take get a new rear black? - I'm getting a new rear black out. - Yeah. - Oh, I thought you meant that black people weren't allowed in it. - Why did he that draw new? - He's like black out, that's what it's called, dude. - Come on, that's the Irish bars that you go to. (laughing) - No, thank you boys, we're close for the night. - Yeah, like it's 6 p.m. - Oh yeah, that's only close, 6 p.m. Is that what it is already? - You went a bit of an early close. I just love going to Mixorlies, you know? - Oh, Mixorlies, yeah. - And they went in there to like, you know, 90s, seven years ago, yeah. That's bonkers to me. I saw a dust with puke on the ground. It just felt, they were like Abraham Lincoln drank here. It was a very, it's a dream. - I didn't like the idea, they're like two beers, that's it. You're like, well then fuck you, there's like nine next door. - And they're both this, they're both, no, no. They give you two at a time. But they're, they're little shotties. - What's the one I'm thinking of where they only have two beers? - That is, they only do have, yeah, yeah. They only do have two different kinds of beer, but they'll serve you as many as you want. But the best part is, they would-- - I'm saying, I want a variety. - What if I don't like light fucking beer or dark beer? - Like give me that thing, make sure that he's light or dark, that's not why you, you're not going there for, you're not going here for this. You're not going there at all, how about that? How about them, make sure that he's not going to get my business? - No, I like variety. I don't like when they make you, that's why father's office closed down, down, down town. And I said, if father's office is a burger joint here and they've been around for a long time. - And it is a fucking good burger, but they don't make you, let you do substitutions. And it made me, what do they put on it? - I don't even give a fuck. - Is it everything? - The idea that I can't change anything is like fuck you. - I'm saying, but isn't like a, if it's like a loaded burger and they can't, no, it was like, or if you said like a, like I don't like raw tomato. - Right. - So it's like, oh, can I get no tomato and they're like, no, no, substitutions are like, well, it's not a substitution, that's just a removal. - To removal, yeah, right. - You're building the burger, unless the burger is already made back there. - Also, technically, you're thinking about it from a financial standpoint, I'm actually saving you money. - You're saving money, I'm paying you more money for, for less product. - Bigger margins, yeah. Anyway, they closed down them when they did, a piece of me celebrated like, good, of course. - Well, no, the other ones are still open, but I was like, slowly, but surely, they'll learn their lesson. - I'm biting my time, I just keep mentioning it on the podcast. - I don't like me giving you money and then you telling me you can't have it. Like, I gave you money for a food, if I go, hey man, I don't really like the taste of this on this plate, but I do like the plate. - Yeah. - And you go, no, that's how we make it. It's like, yeah, I'll check with the chef. - Well, is there anything worse, what do you think, when they, when they, it's like such a passive-aggressive thing, when they send the chef out? To be like, oh, there's something wrong with that, hold on, let me get the chef and the chef comes out. And he's like, dirty, and he's like, what's up? Yeah, it's always adversarial. - And you're like, nothing dude, honestly, I just, I don't really eat this. - Yeah. - So I just, like, well, there's how everyone loves this. That's how they always come back. Everyone loves this stuff. - Not everyone, bud. - Yeah. - Yeah, I can see that. - Yeah. - That's kind of the, and then they go, all right, I guess, you know, haven't, have them send it. - Well, I won't come back to Benagan's then. - Yeah. - And you two will close soon. - Yeah. - This chain will no longer exist in a couple of years. - Are you kidding me, Benagan's well as far up? - Are there any of those left? Benagan's, they got to be all closed down. Do you even know what that is? - My buddy used to work at Benagan's. - Benagan's was a chain. - He was like, Chili's, he's got like a fudruckers in that world, which also I think close. - Take off, gone. - Yeah. - No more Benagan's, no chance. - I was team Chili's over Applebee's, but I also worked in an Applebee's. - What do you talk about? - Everybody was team Chili's over Applebee's. - Not everybody. - Applebee's never even touched Chili's. - Chili's just, King. - It's Chili's is the best. - I wouldn't do a Chili's for the first time in years. - I want to go to Chili's right now. - Let's go to fucking Chili's. - I do, Ben and it's great. I went for the first time this summer and I brought my kid down. I was like, what is that unbelievably great experience? By the way, it's like, you can have, you want two appetizers and entree and a margarita, 19 bucks. - It's like, get out of here. - Out of here. - There's no way. - A deli sandwich now is 19 dollars. - McDonald's is like 38 dollars. - It's a ripoff. How many Benagons? - The closest one is in Texas. - Yeah, come on. - Yeah. - And then how many Chili's are left in L.A., I know there's one Chili's in in Sino. It is like the famous in Sino Chili's in the Valley. - How many Chili's? - There isn't any in the city. - There are nachos, they do one of those things, which I don't generally like, but it's Chili, so I'll give them a pass. They do nachos, but each chip has every ingredient on it. - Oh, love. - Come on. - Yeah, how many? - Five Chili's left in Los Angeles. - Hollywood Burbank, Englewood, Pico Rivera, Manhattan Beach. - Burbank, oh, in Burbank, Burbank, yeah, in downtown Burbank. - Wow. - Pico Rivera, Manhattan Beach. What do you mean, Hollywood, there's no in Sino, there's got to be in Sino or Woodland Hills. - They might not count in Sino and Woodland Hills as Los Angeles on this. - Really? - You know, they don't like to hear that kind of stuff, 'cause those guys are our friends too, just 'cause they're mostly Persian. And that's because McCone doesn't like that kind of stuff. - Yeah, there's a very Irish episode today, you know? - As it should be. - You've got a little Italian in you though, you're a little tainted, but my son is Italian and Irish, so they've scumbagged. - Yeah, your wife's Italian, you've got a full blood, you can never be a made man in the Irish mafia. - Dude, I think about that all the time. - Yeah. - No, I couldn't be a made man in the Italian either. - And either. - Because I'm like, what's his name? - I'm like, De Niro. - De Niro? - De Niro? - De Niro was a, he was half a mech, right? Isn't that the whole deal? That's also why he didn't die. - Yeah, interesting. - There you go. And I didn't get, I didn't-- - But also Duval and Godfather. - That's what, yeah, Duval and Godfather him in Goodfathers. - Well, another layer of this, I was also Santino and Godfather. - Sonny. - Godfather or Goodfathers? - Which one's better? - Which one do you choose? - Well, generationally, we would always choose Goodfathers because we grew up at a hundred percent. - Yeah, but I mean, my dad would obviously disagree. My dad is God, that's a Godfather error. - I would argue Casinos better than all of them. - I mean, Casino is great, but I would argue, I would argue Godfather too is better than the original. - I don't have three sequels ever that's better than the original. It's that. - But Godfather III didn't exist. - Right. - I've actually never seen Godfather III. - It's awful. - I've actually never seen Him. - Unwatchable to me. - But that, Terminator II. - Terminator II. And there's also controversial. Ace Ventura, when Nature calls, is better than the original because the original has to set up the bits. The second one just hammers the bits. You get the bumblebee tuna, you get the, all the stuff, you get the rhino scene, of course, you get the, Griswold, hit the lights, you know, you get the, every, the slinky starts the whole thing. - I'm trying to think if that was better than the original. - I don't know. - It's just, it's, it's all the jokes and the new plays, it's great, laces, laces out. But then that also, I was also so young that I didn't even understand that, like, I didn't understand that till years later. - Little did we know that was just like a trans woman, right ahead of our time in film. - Yeah. - Wow. - And people, he was so disgusting. - And they were very negative about it. - He was, he was so disgusting. - He was so disgusting. - He burned his clothes and took a shower. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - But Ace. - Imagine if doing a panel for like a 30th anniversary. Like Jim, a trans activist here. - Yeah. - He was there. - Yeah. - He's got an answer to that. - He's just like, we're all stars and ether. - I'm not, I'm not. - I haven't been Jim in 20 years. - I'm not even here. - None of us are here. - That's so funny to have to answer that for all the comedy shit that was so fucked up from back in the day. - So fucked. - I mean, like, I remember, I think there was a scene, maybe it was three men and a baby. Is that what it was? One of these were like, the joke was like two guys, two guys is gay, but three guys is like a group of friends. Like, if it's just two guys walking together, they're like, those guys can be gay. - Right. - But three, those boys are going out to have a good time. I don't know if it was like an 80s comedy movie like that. - I mean, that's like a lot of hacks, crowd work to this day. We're like, two guys are going to get, what do you do, gay? - We're just fucking each other in the butt. - Unbelievable. Still gets laughed somehow. Except sometimes I'll see that in LA. It's like one comic that, again, we'll talk about it off here, that I've seen that I see, dude. I was like, what do you do? You just two guys are going to get it, what do you gay? And I've watched them, I've watched an audience go, yes. - Yeah. - And he's like, I can't even see this, they're going to go, it's like, absolutely, if they are. - Yeah, what are you going to do? - Yeah. - And what are you going to do about it? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Ban you from the club. - Right. - Dude, what do you guys get? What do you guys get? a straight couple. Is he a man and a woman like what is this? What are you two good gay or something? - I've also, it's a loaded thing 'cause it's a nuke if there's two women together and you go lesbos and then they're just like, that could be a, that's a bad, I don't know to that. - That's a bad, never works. Because if they are, they're, they're, - I always say sad widows. - I would say that, I'd never, I don't ever do fucking crowd work. It's so funny. - I've never seen you post a crowd work clip of in your life. - I don't really, I don't know what it is. I don't care, I like to do it sometimes. I love doing, I love doing it, but I don't, I don't, I'm not like, I just came up in those rooms where they were ambush shows and barked in shows. And if you didn't have something, our jokes were so bad that that young and comedy that if you didn't have that skill to, and it was always like the village lantern in the West Village. It was really like shalt and aakosh and myself and a bunch of other comics that if you didn't constantly be like, hey, pay fuck in a tent, you know like that. If you didn't have a thing that they would, they would just, they would just be talking full volume. - Yeah, I like doing crowd work sometimes. I just don't want to give them too much space where then they think like they're going to be part of the show for the rest of the show. So then every one of you are able to comment. - I don't like when the host does only crowd work. I hate that because then everybody else after that. - I have a rule. I have a rule when I have people open for them. Just do material, that's it. - Love that, just do material. - That's it. - Love that for you. - I always say that, just do material man because that's the thing that's going to build your comedy career. So when I have someone open, I go just do material man. - 100%. - Were you writing? - Yeah, and it's like, well then do that. - I don't really want to have to talk to them because they've been talked to already. So I always say to features, no. So I'm like, just do great material. That's it. If somebody yells out, retort, but I'm always like, just do great material. - Killed at the beacon, by the way. - I know you wouldn't want me saying that. - Very nice of you. I love you so much. It's just a face, but you're a great comic and a terrific man. - That's gonna wrap up the episode before I get too anxious for you to go out of here. - Fini, I love you to death. Fini, you want to plug anything? - Sure. I have a podcast called Cohost Wanted where every single week I sit down which we talked about at the beacon. - At the beacon, you were the one that gave me the green light to be like, you should do that. That's a great fucking idea. Every single week, I interview someone to be the permanent co-host of the show. And you know, your application's still on file, but we'll get to you. - I'm gonna get to you. - But it's great. And you can check it out on my youtube.com/micfinicomedy, tortatesmicfinicomedy.com and social media. And I am my Fini, come see the show, live. That'd be great. - Go see the show. I always say that I've said that a lot, but please go see live comedy. The only thing we actually love doing is doing live comedy. Tapping stuff is fun, pods are fun, blah, blah, blah. Go see a live show. You're gonna like the guy more live than you did on this and he might do more coke live, dude. (laughing) We end the show the same way. Look at that camera, one word or one phrase. What do you mean? Say one word or one phrase into that camera. - Okay. - And the episode. Man, that feels like a lot of pressure. Well, you're good at it. Choke on a bitch. (laughing) - In here, dude. - We pull. - It's in the press. - Oh, that creature in the ginger field. - Sturdy, ginger. - Like that has the ginger gene intricate. - Ginger is a fugitive. - You only five dollars for the whiskey. - 75 dollars for the whole. - Ginger's our hell knows. - This whiskey means excellent. - Ginger, I like ginger. [BLANK_AUDIO]