Mike Cessario: CEO Of Liquid Death Gives Marketing Masterclass

Mike Cesario. He's the guy who founded Liquid Death. He's behind that incredible company in the growth and has a very interesting story. So he's going to come in and talk about marketing and all that stuff with us. Also news with Rudy Pawbitch and we'll do that right after this. Bet online. Hey, this is Adam Corolla from the Adam Corolla show. The next big football moments. Well, they're waiting for you at Bet Online. Back your team on a Sunday or ride with a prime time underdog. Build the same game parlay, chase a player prop or jump on live odds while the drive is still moving. From the biggest NFL matchups, the college football Saturday's every angle is covered at Bet Online. And when the final whistle blows hundreds of slots, table games and live dealers keep the night going. Enjoy the freedom of online gaming or the action moves with you. And every moment is yours. Visit Bet Online today and discover where the action never stops. Rock, Crazy X Girlfriend, Anchorman, the Legend of Ron Burgundy, the X-Files, Wayne's World, and so much more. We're not worthy. The best things on TV really are free. You just have to know where to look. Escape to Pluto TV. Stream now. They never. This episode of the Adam Corolla shows brought to you by Simply Safe. From Corolla 1 Studios in Glendale, California, this is The Adam Corolla Show. Adam's guest today, the CEO of Liquid Death, Mike Cesario. Plus the news of Rudy Povitch and now, Adam Corolla. Yeah, get it on. Got to get on a choice big on a mandate. You get it on. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for telling the friend. Mike Cesario is here. Liquid Death. You've seen everywhere. It's a really interesting story to me because I felt like I was there for a lot of the ride because I would go to people's podcasts or go to the green rooms, the comedy clubs. And I kept seeing this product everywhere. And I was like, it's canned water. But how did it get everywhere? And why is it feels so populated in the comedic realm? But you tell us. And also it's just weird. It's interesting to me that this product, a version of liquid water, liquid canned water exists or around or whatever. And you go into this market and go, I got to take over this market, even though it seems pardon the pun, flood it anyway. Yeah, I mean, I think what most people underestimate is almost every product category is a commodity. The functional differences between one brand or another brand are so small. And the reason that people buy things is way more emotional than rational. Right. There's Ford guys and there's Chevy guys, but they really, they both make a good large pickup truck. And the Chevy guys wanted to clear war on the Ford guys, but they're really the same product. Marginal differences. Right. If you changed out the logos and someone was driving a Chevy and didn't know it was the Ford, that would they really notice the difference, not probably as much as they would say, I love this brand over that brand. Right. And I think what I saw was, you know, I had a background of working for big advertising agencies on the creative side for a long time. I just kind of kept seeing how brands would just fuck up marketing. And, you know, people hate marketing. And we would look at all the data. It's like 95% of people say they hate marketing. And like they'll pay a premium every month to just not even have to have it in their in their realm now. So this was like, Hey, what if we built a brand that could be this new kind of marketing where we sort of blur the lines between an entertainment company and a beverage company. And if you can entertain people, make them laugh in our case, then you build sort of a connection to people. And now there's a reason to buy your product over another one. Because if they kind of perceived it's a similar product, Hey, I'd rather give my $2.19 to this company that made me laugh, that seems like there's real people behind it that I'd want to have a beer with over this kind of company that's just this soulless corporate. I have no idea what this is. And it's around a similar price. I think that kind of thing is why we were able to have so much success because we we built a we tried to build a great company and not just a great product. And there's a difference. Yeah. And look, there's plenty of companies that were doing real good and then they made a mistake and then they're doing real bad like Bud Light. And I would say Audi made kind of crappy cars. I mean, Audi's have Audi started with the auto union or something in Germany in the 30s and stuff. And they made really crazy amazing streamline race cars and stuff. And then they started making junk in the 70s. And then no one wanted an Audi. And then somewhere 15 years later, they started making really good cars again. And then everyone got back into got buying outies again. You know, so like people have a pretty short memory. But you can go up or you can go down depending on how you want to how you want to market this thing. And it is it is interesting as humans how you know, there is not big chasms between this water and that water, this carbonated thing or this soda and that soda. It's just all. I don't know is is Red Bull sort of the company that I don't know if they started it, but sort of every time I turn on the TV, there's some sort of Red Bull event has nothing to do with the product, you know, except for has everything to do with their product, as it says Red Bull. That's great. Yeah, I mean, I basically stole the playbook for Red Bull. I was going to say it feels red bully. Yeah, it was I think they were the first to show. They are really an entertainment company that monetizes via selling beverages. It's like when you see a Red Bull video, it doesn't feel like a commercial. It's like that's legitimately entertaining. You would maybe even pay money to go consume that content. But there's still a Red Bull logo in there in a helmet. That's a Red Bull ad. Right. And that's why to this day, I mean, Red Bull still over 30 years of the energy drink company, they are still the number one energy drink. Every other brand that's coming along, hundreds, thousands of others tried to undercut on price, et cetera, they're still number one. Now, their entertainment genre is action sports. And, you know, my kind of thinking on this was like, Hey, I think there's more entertainment genres that a brand can own that aren't just action sports and stunts. And for us, it was comedy. And I want to be the funniest brand in the world. And the way Red Bull hires athletes, I want to hire comedians. And that's kind of how we built our entertainment. So were you just dropping off cases to green rooms on comedy clubs, all throughout America, everywhere, every time I'd go do someone's podcast, there'd be some liquid death there. But I did feel like I was just running into it whenever I was doing comedy. And I thought, well, I guess drop it off in the club and my guy might walk up on stage holding it, you know, because you will, you'll get some water, something from the back and you'll come up on stage and set it, you know, next year and that kind of stuff. Like, what was that plan? How did that work? Yeah, I mean, in the early days, we wanted to, and the strategy for most new beverage brands, when you don't have these bajillion dollar marketing budgets, you've got to get really scrappy to get what we say cans and hands, like get the product out there. So yeah, I went everything from, hey, we're a brand that's about humor. So kind of no brainer, let's go get this in as many comedy clubs as we can. Let's get it to as many comedians as we can. And that worked well for us. I think with big brands, like the Cokes and Pepsi's of the world, comedians probably make them nervous. Like, they wouldn't, you know, I don't know. He makes jokes about this. We can't really be associated. I think that's the unique thing that we have where comedy is really our moat as a brand. If we just wanted to be a brand that was about sports, any other brand with a big enough checkbook can sign any athlete. Right. If we tried to go spend a little bit of money we have to just get an athlete to drink our product, it's not going to move the needle and eventually someone could outbid us for this person and take it away. Comedy is something that can't really exist within sort of like the corporate bureaucracy of these giant companies and rounds of revisions and focus groups and all that. Like, that just isn't the way that comedy can live. So in a way, what we do is not something that could easily be replicated by somebody with a lot more money. Right. And a lot more folks that have to sign off on whatever this campaign or this idea is and somebody's going to raise an objection. And I'm wondering because I think a lot of companies are still going about it the wrong way. Like, they, there was one, I think we're talking about it, Dawson. I can't remember if we talked about it on the show or not, but my problem is as I complained to Andrew, off the air and Dr. Drew, off the air so much about shit that bothers me. I can't remember if I talked about it. Andrew, a microphone or just into their right ear. But, uh, remember that story. from the other week where it was a converse all stars and it was a racist thing. - Yes, we talked about it on the internet. - And it's like converse immediately went out and apologized, except for they didn't do anything. And it also, there is an association with guilt when you apologize, like, you know, when you drift over your lane and there's a car next to you and the guy honks the horn and you do the thing, you go, sorry bro, but if someone just comes up behind you and bumps you in the back, you don't go, sorry, I mean, you didn't do anything wrong. And if you did say sorry, it would imply that you did something wrong. And it was, I think it was target that immediately apologized to the black community for some clown outfit they had that meant nothing. And then converse had to apologize for putting a Asian woman in her converse high tops, but a white skirt that looked like a client hood or something and they just, like, we'll do better. And I'm like, I don't think that's the way to go. I don't think that helps you. So now we're living in safe spaces and octagons. It's like one group is just apologizing and talking about safety and we'll do better and sorry, sorry, sorry. And the other group's like, fuck you. I'm in a Dodge Ram, Dana White's doing the Vio. I'm doing a donut, you know what I mean? Like, is that, is that what it feels like we're heading? - It does, yeah, I totally agree. I think the phenomenon of social media, and I think most big company's misunderstanding of what it is and what it's not, is what drives a lot of this. So there's a rule, it's been researched, you can look it up. It's called the 90-10-1 rule on social. 90% of us who consume social media are passive observers. We scroll through the circus. We don't ever click the like button. We never write a shitty comment. It's just like you're just washing it like a television. 10% of the people consuming social might take a light action, meaning I might click a like button on something here and there. Less than 1% of the people who consume social will actually write a comment. - Right. - Take the time to do that. And of that, what percentage are actually like the, you know, fuck these guys, you know, that kind of comment. And what happens is when you're looking at your social posts as a brand, because there's not that many comments, 'cause nobody comments, the rest of us just watch. - Right. - Three negative comments out of 20 in your brain thinks, you know, 10% of the people hate this. We're in big trouble. It's like, no, no, no, no, no. 10% of 1% of the population doesn't like this. - Right. - And I think that's what brands are doing is they're trying to take their whole brands and cater to this microscopic louds portion of the internet. And that's what's causing all of, like a lot of this. And I think you're seeing it on both sides too. You see angry people, oh, I'm so angry, you know, I'm so angry because of this thing. Well, you saw this one post that was only shown to the small portion of the internet, whether it's real or not, and you're letting that affect your opinion, and you're not actually taking the time to really research information, figure out other multiple points of view, what's happening. And I think it's all kind of part of the way that people are consuming social and it's leading to a lot of this. - Liquid death, to me, feels five minutes old in terms of, I mean, I'm old now and time goes flying by now, but I don't remember seeing liquid death anywhere more than six or seven years ago. I can't think how long, how long does it come to? - We started selling the first cases in late January, 2019. So yeah, this will be like year seven for us. - Yeah, that's what it feels like to me. And what's the company worth now? - Well, the last priced round that we raised capital out was a couple years ago, and that was at 1.4 billion, and that's public. - Wow, and that was a few years ago. I mean, it's worth quite a bit more than that now. - Well, it depends, 'cause markets matter, right? Like a couple years ago, when interest rates were great, things are different now, strained economy, they put valuation as a fluctuating thing, depending on the actual state of the market, it's not necessarily the state of the business. - But from basically, the beginning of COVID, till now, one point, whatever billion dollars, which is really amazing. And lots of, now branching out. And, 'cause I remember at the beginning, I thought that was kind of funny. It's also sort of funny that you're naming your product, liquid death, and that's all kind of funny. But like, at the end of the day, it's water, and I don't really much care where it came from. But now, it's like a lot of different flavors and, you know, carbonated stuff and whatever. And also, I mean, at some point, in the alcohol, beer, you know, that end of it, or is that just too regulated? - No, it could be. I mean, like we said, we started with water. And similar, it had a lot of people were like, oh, this is a really cool brand, but someone we would listen to, you know, people who reached out and they'd say, you know, what are you gonna make something with flavor? Like, I just don't like plain water. Like a brand, but I don't really drink plain water. So then we kind of created, you know, liquid death, basically like healthy soda, like flavors, carbonation of that. That did really well for us. And then we had people say, hey, I love the brand, but like, could you guys do something with a little bit of caffeine? Like, I want something with a little function. So then we launched liquid death iced tea, that had a little bit of natural caffeine. And I think after we launched iced tea, and that was very successful, we're even right now, we're the number two iced tea brand on Amazon, over all other iced tea brands. And we've only been a brand for, this will be year three in iced tea. - Oh, do I got an iced tea related question for you? And you are very well suited to answer this question. I can't figure it out. The iced tea, I normally just get plain iced tea 'cause I don't want the 150 calories on iced tea, which-- - Unsweetened iced tea. - Unsweetened iced tea, I should say. I love, I am so glad that passion fruit is somehow working its way out of my life. I really feel like it was impacting me in a negative way for a long time. And now I just see, we're back to regular iced tea. And they're sweet and there's unsweetened. And then, I don't know, it's the number one brand, the one that comes in a plastic bottle, it's like leaf, something on there. - Arizona is the number one. - Is Arizona number one? - What is just the regular iced tea, Andrew? I can't remember. - If your leaf is like a close number two. - Purely, is that what it is? - All right, so they have sweetened and they have unsweetened, and then they have sweetened with lemon. But I'm like, you guys don't need that lemon. I need it in the unsweetened and they don't have it. And I'm like, why no lemon? 'Cause like, a lot of people order a diet Coke and get a lemon wedging it. They don't put, they'll never put a lemon wedge in a regular Coke 'cause it's good how it is. - Yeah. - When you go to a restaurant and you get a tea and it's unsweetened and you don't sweeten it, I always get a lemon wedge 'cause it just helps the experience. 'Cause other than that, you're just drinking unsweetened tea. How come they don't have lemon? - Because they did some kind of market test and said there's not enough of you to be worth making the product. - That's what they did. It's so weird though, because everyone who orders a tea gets a wedge when they go to a diner. - You know, it does make sense. It's like tea, lemon just goes, in my opinion, goes along with all tea. Like to your point, if you order a nice tea in a restaurant, they're either giving you a lemon or they're asking you if you want a lemon. - Right. So why does this company, and they don't make it? And it's weird. I was like, well, maybe it's just not at the 7/11 I go to or something like that, but I looked into it. I'm like, no lemon. - Which is weird. - Yeah, again, there's so much that goes into, you know, when the amount of shelf space that a retailer will give you, like Walmart or like Ralph's, it's like, hey, you're only getting this much space, you only can fit, let's say, five different flavors in there. You've got passion fruit doing 60% of all you or whatever, right? - Passion. - Well, whatever that, you know, flavor might be. I think too, it's like, sometimes you just get to be the victim of, in any company or any board room. It's like, everyone's looking for what's exciting, what's next, and they're always just trying to push excitement and anything that feels old or familiar, maybe gets pushed, you know, down the list, regardless of whether it's going to be successful or not. And I think there's, you know, big companies with as much money and research as they have. People are really just protecting their jobs. - Yes. - And it's like, hey, we tested it in a focus group, and this is what it said, but then they put it in market and it totally performs differently. - Yeah, I mean, I'm starting to wonder if we're growing out of the just protect your job phase of our society, because like, I used to go, if you dealt in the entertainment industry, you would go onto these studio campuses, and there'd just be offices and offices and people and people, and everyone had so many jobs. And everything was this huge committee. Like, if you were doing a sitcom for a network, it was like, well, Nancy, tell him, didn't get the Burning Man joke. So I'm like, I don't care. Lloyd Brown doesn't know the Burning Manja. I got, yeah, I don't, it's not for him. And on the meetings and meetings, we literally had, you'd have a table read or you'd have a run through. And I was the creator and the head writer and the star of a sitcom pilot. [BLANK_AUDIO] doing the run through with 30 people, and by the way, some of these women are the least funny people have ever met my life. Like, no, like, I would like my fantasy was to go find guys that went to high school with them. I go, you remember Nancy Talon? Yeah. Oh, that's our old pus. She's running comedy at NBC. They'd go get the fuck out of here. That picture's not funny at all. Or something. But anyway, they do a whole run through. And then they're done. We had to get the executives to give notes to the writers. And I'd go, all right, where were we doing the note session? And they'd go, no, they don't want you there out of them. And I'd go, well, I'm the creator, the star and the lead writer. I wrote the pilot. So why wouldn't I get the notes? They're just not comfortable with you in the room, like giving the notes. Like, you go back to the bungalow, they'll give all their notes, stupid notes that make it less funny. And then they'll bring those notes back to you. And then you, right. And I'm like, what kind of committee is this? And how well, by the way, it's all gone. It's gone. It was everywhere. It was, it was a beehive of activity. They're the million jobs for a million hair and makeup and catering. And evidence all fucking gone now. Because it was like committee, right? It's like too many. And by the way, you know how many non writing producers got paid? Like, how many idiots that just did nothing, didn't even show up. We're getting paid. Like, the list of producers would be 10 names long, and they contributed nothing. It can't sustain itself. It's not a model that'll work. And it's finally collapsed under its own weight. Yeah. And, you know, I would see similar things, you know, when I worked in the marketing industry, and you know, we have these big clients that come and like, you know, trying to pitch them on, this is what people really want. But again, you've got those people who are, well, I know what it is because I've done this and I've done that. And we're not going to do that. And we're going to do this. And after so many years of just similar thing, advertising is different. I like to say that advertising is the place where people who are not good enough to be like actual entertainers can go and sort of live this little fun dream of like, I put something on TV. I'm like, I make a commercial. I worked with the director of this thing on a commercial. And it's like, it's such a thankless job because you're working around the clock to make commercials, you know, for brands. And you try to come to these brands with good things, and the brands just water it down. And I got so tired of that as like a creative person that I was like the only way for me to make the kind of marketing I think should be made is I have to create my own product where no one can tell me what to do, where I'm the top decision maker. Yeah, there's nothing worse than when you get an idea. And it's like you like this idea. And you go, oh, this is going to be funny. This is going to work. And then somebody gets they have to run it up the flagpole and so and so. And then they get back to you and like, no, we're not like I used to do when I did dancing with the stars. And when I was done doing dancing with the stars, they're like, well, you're funny. So you should come back periodically and do funny bits on the show. And I was like, oh, okay. So I would write a bit like I had one bit that I wrote where I was like a football coach. And I'd figured out that the guys had lost four four years in a row. A guy hadn't won in four years on dance with the stars, all the females won. So celebrity. So I was going to give him a big pep talk, right? So I was like, I was like yelling at everybody. Everyone was lined up. I think it was, um, Donnie Osman was there and uh, uh, Michael Irving, the wide out for Dallas Cowboys. So there's one part where there's like one guy and I was like, yell and I was going, you, you use spray tan? You put him up in a spray tan. And the guy's like, yeah, yeah, I use a spray tan every morning. And I, I like, I dragged my finger on his arm and I put it in my mouth. Liar. Liar. And then at some point Michael Irving, they're standing next to me. I go, by the way, good job. And everyone, oh, you can't do that. And Michael's like, it was funny. It was like funny that he, yeah. And I was like, yeah, we wish we could and I go, you can do it. Yeah. He thinks it's super funny. And Michael Irving doesn't care. Yeah. And they're like, nah. So I'm like, damn, I hate when a good joke just goes away. And then so the other side, I, I, I did bits with them. And there were good as I could make them with their restraints, but they were funny. And then, um, I said, okay, I want to come back. Like, it was like two weeks after I did dance with the stars. And I said, here's the bit I want to do because everyone, everyone, everyone does, everyone, all they do is lose a bunch of weight. Everyone loses a bunch of weight. And then they announced they're now in love with dancing. You know, so I said, I want a massive fat suit, like a money python fat suit. And, and I'm going to sit in the crowd eating out of a bucket of chicken. And Tom Bergeron's like going to come over during the break and, and go, Adam, it's been two weeks since, yeah. And you know what? I love it. I quit my job. All I do is dance now. And I'm like, you know, and I've fallen in love with the majesty of dance. And it's, I've devoted my life to dance at this point. And I'm, I'm thinking about starting a tour, but I'm five hundred and seventy five pounds in like two weeks. And they're like, yeah, it's too mean. And I like to who it's too mean. I go, it's, I'm making fun of myself for putting on three hundred pounds in two weeks. And then nonstop dance talk. And they're like, yeah, it's just, it's mean. I'm like, who we making fun? No. And now eventually that bothered the shit out of me enough where I was just like, you know what? Fuck off. I'm not doing your shit anymore. It's too bothersome. Yeah, I mean, it's, I mean, I'm not a professional funny person. But to me, comedy so much of what it is is something is funny or really funny because it's kind of something that maybe you're not supposed to say. Yes. You know, it's like by nature, it's funny because you know there are some people, some people who are not going to like it makes it funny. If there was something that a hundred percent of people would laugh at, which one is not possible. Right. So it's like, I think like comedy by its nature has to be a little bit, I guess, provocative is maybe the word. Well, they, you know, they also, you have to feel this way too. Like, what about the silent majority that got a weaker comedic product? Like, okay, somebody would have been offended by my spray tan, Michael Irving joke, somebody would have. But a whole bunch of people got a lesser product because it wasn't in there. What about that? Right. Like, where are those people? How come they don't get a vote? Like, why is the plan to dumb it down and lessen it just to the, so it's no good? You know, it's basically like going, I got a great tortilla soup, tortilla soup. And then somebody tastes it and goes, this is a little bit zesty. Maybe we should dump flour in it so we don't offend. Like, maybe there's a nine year old with special needs. It doesn't want to happen. Like, then we all get shitty soup. Yeah. We made a, and I think there's always going to be someone who is offended that doesn't like something. And you just have to do the math of how big is that group? And can that group have a material impact on what we're trying to do versus the upside of the people who like it? Because that's the thing people don't calculate. Hey, if for the silent majority, they really love something. Like, oh, my God, that joke. That Corolla did about Michael Irving. I can't believe they, but you got to see the show. They are spreading free marketing for the show when they love something so much. And how many new people does that bring in versus what do you lose? Because there's 0.37% of people stop watching the show. Because of the joke. Well, you just gained 5% because of what you got. Well, we're now getting back to the heading of not getting fired. You have a whole bunch of untalented people making a lot of money. Like, you think, you know, when I work construction, if someone got fired, then give a fuck because the job sucked in the first place. You know, like quitting McDonald's or whatever. Like, you know, I don't know, getting fired from McDonald's or carwash or construction jobs like fuck you. And you leave. But you have to think, think about this position. Let's just say, you're making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. You have a corner office and expense account and everything. And you're not that talented and you're not that funny and you're not that bright and you're not that creative. You would be hanging on to that fucking job with both hands because you'd be like, this is a gravy train. And I'm not going to do anything that could remotely jeopardize this sweet, sweet gig I have because remember, you're not even funny and you're running the network and you're running the, you know, the sitcom division of the network and you're not even talented or funny. So those people hang real hard. And again, they're not taking any chances with any Michael Irving jokes. Exactly. Yeah. I mean, and that's, and you know, and eventually it's, if the thing doesn't perform, It just goes away that your job is just eliminated eventually. Well, I think what they're thinking is, is it's kind of a. The wolf has come for all a sheep, and as long as I'm the last sheep, I just gotta hang on. When I got a job doing stand-in work for the movie Judgment Night from the '80s, no '90s with Emilio Estevez, and who else? I think about who was in that movie. Anyway, it was the cushiest gig I ever had because it was free food, and I was getting paid to stand. I was like a stand-in. I wasn't working. You know, I'd come from a world but could be a good engineer after all. I had to work. Stephen Dwarf, I think, was in that. You could watch that movie from '93 or '94, but anyway. Oh, Jeremy Piven. He has more hair now. So I was getting paid to not work in my world. I was standing around eating granola bars, looking at everyone. And by the way, when you're standing and they call for dinner or lunch break, you're eating free, but you're always first in line because everyone else is working. You're like, you go, "When's lunch?" You go, "It's 1 o'clock and it's 12.57." They're still all working, like the camera guys and everything, and you just go walk over there and go first in line. So sweet. All I wanted, I was one of the bad guys, and I knew my guy was going to get killed. All I wanted was for him to get killed last. So I could milk another three and a half weeks of standing around eating free food and looking at Dennis Liri was in that as well. I knew I was going to get killed. I just want to milk it. I kind of think these people feel that way because they never go on to anything. I mean, you got to think about that. It's not like they're comedic geniuses and go on and start their own network. They're gone. No. And just building and running a company, I have to look for people like that in my organization, like people who are just there to do the bare minimum, you know, just not lose the job, but it's like a startup where everything stacked against us, and we have to constantly punch so much higher above our weight class just to survive. That kind of approach to a job doesn't work in the startup world, and we have to find those people and set up the right kind of environments that like incentivize people to go take calculated risks. Like it's not about, oh yeah, just go put the whole company on the line, but most decisions are survival. I think people think, oh, if this one little thing goes wrong, that's the end. It's like, no, it's not true. Most decisions are survival and if you especially if you approach it in the right calculated way. And that's actually the way that we approach content at liquid death is we have this idea like small bets find the big wins. I'm sure, I've seen comedians do it where just to get a 60 minute standup special, you're shopping material around for like a year, trying out jokes, trying to see what's going to work, even people have been doing it for decades, they don't know 100%. Well, I could just sit down right 60 minutes, one shot, be ready to go. It's like, you're trying little things and that one joke that you thought was going to be so funny when you try it doesn't get that much of a laugh. But then this little dumb thing that you just mentioned gets this huge laugh. You're like, oh, that thing, that's the thing and then you build that. It's the same thing like we can't predict what's going to be great or mediocre. It's like, we have to try a bunch of things and be able to execute each thing cheaply enough where if it totally doesn't work, it's not going to make or break us. And then it gives us the ability to find some golden nugget that you would never know. If it costs $5 million to do this thing, you would never do it because if you were wrong, that could be the end. Right. So it's like, we try to like put lots of little things out there and find a really cheap way to produce it, which is why we have our own internal marketing agency and production company. We don't use any outside stuff so that we can do everything as cheap as possible. Simply safe. Well, for most of us home security has never really been about the house. It's about the people inside the house breaking leaves a mark even if nothing has ever taken psychologically. So you want to stop the break ins and you want people to feel safe. And that's why I love me some simply safe. There's a nothing in that house. 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It lets them know that we sent you and really help support the show simply safe ahead of crime in real time. Oats overnight. I love to imagine having the perfect diet and lifestyle. But as soon as I get busy again, I start shoving fast food back in my face. Here's one thing that helps me stay on track. Oats overnight. It's drinkable oatmeal that tastes like dessert but has 20 grams of protein and tons of fiber. It's perfect for my busy morning so I can make sure that I don't skip breakfast. I also like to take it with me right before you go to the gym or before I go to the gym, take it on the road with me. It's made with oats, chia, flax, real fruit and no artificial flavors or sweeteners. My personal favorite, the cookies and cream. But there's over 60 flavors to choose from. You're going to love Oats overnight. I do. You will too. Am I right, Noss? Head to OatsOvernight.com and get 25% off your first box when you subscribe. That's OatsOvernight.com for 25% off and a free shaker when you subscribe. Give Oats Overnight a try today. Who's doing it right out there? For example, I watch football and they'll run all the commercials and they have the one where the therapist is running the group who are turning into their parents. It's always a funny commercial. It's not really edgy. But when the next one comes down the pipe, I'll always watch it because it'll, it'll, I don't know if it'll make me laugh, but I'll be like, oh, that's, that's nice. That's kind of funny. And then, you know, Bud Light used to have real men of genius, which was a great spot. Always funny. I think Reebok had Terry Tate office linebacker, which was a great campaign. Crazy. A lot of stuff where you'd look at it and go, God, I don't think they could do anything like that today. And then there's a commercial. I'm looking at you, Andrew. Okay, keep running it for, I think it's direct TV. And I think it's your boy, former center, Kelsey, Kelsey, what the fuck is name is? Jason Kelsey. Kelsey, doing some sort of generic bullshit with his fucking wife that's stupid. And he's like, if I'm frosting these cupcakes, I'm a big guy, but I'm making a cupcake. See how funny that is? And then, I don't know why it always bothers me, but we're going to wait, 26 of our favorite people over to watch the game on Sunday. And not one of them is going to drink a beer. We're all just going to stay in there holding a cupcake in a soda like we're in a nine year old party, you know what I mean? It's the most, it's super generic. And also she's the smart one and he's the dope. Like it's all fucked out. It's totally generic. I never need to see it again. It'll run ad nauseam. Oh wait, let's take a look at it. It's going to fall Sunday. Who's coming over? Everyone for what game? All of them. David Lizzie are from California. We'll need the Niners and Chargers. Kyle's mom's freaking out. She needs every game for fantasy. Check. We're going to be the worst host ever. We're good. We got NFL Sunday ticket in YouTube TV. NFL Sunday ticket in YouTube TV. Get every game every Sunday. All in one generic. Ethnicities and friends. What's your name? I don't know what that costs. It's so fucking boring. I'll expensive that one. It's also like what year is this? Like it's just why are you wasting our time with this shit? Did you see the Jason Kelsey commercial we did a couple like a month ago? No, that I need to see. Do we have it? Yeah. The, uh, the, uh, the P commercial. You did a Jason Kelsey P commercial. Oh, I haven't seen that. Hold on. We can't hear you. Dawson's eating. But he's getting closer to Michael. Thank you. We always try. They never listen. But he's not a professional performer. He's got, uh, okay. Now I got to see this up. Wait, start from the beginning. AI data centers with millions of gallons of water. That's why liquid death and garage beer decided to team up. We want your pee to cool these data centers. ♪ We want your peace ♪ ♪ Please give us your peace ♪ ♪ Let's be our computers together ♪ ♪ 'Cause we need a lot to be ♪ ♪ And it plays gallons of green ♪ ♪ Join our importance and ever ♪ ♪ We want your peace ♪ ♪ Please give us your peace ♪ ♪ Let's be our computers together ♪ ♪ And save humanity ♪ - Wow! That's so sweet! - The garage beer's classic light beer and liquid dance sparkling energy, the light beer of energy drinks. It's never been easier to create beer. ♪ Let's be our computers together ♪ ♪ Save humanity ♪ - So what are you waiting for? - Go ahead. - Are you going to another garage beer or liquid dance sparkling energy? - Then send your fee to the AID center of your choice. - We even make it easy with these collectible, sealable modes. ♪ We want your peace ♪ - Wow! That is much different than that direct TV commercial. Wow! That's funny. Well, so he does the most sort of watered down part in the pun, commercial you can do, and then the adgeous commercial you can do, all in the same six month period. - Yeah, I mean again, I'm sure, you know. Like again, they probably get paid so much, yeah. Oh, they get paid so much to do the boring stuff that it's hard to turn down the check. And if it's like, yeah, I gotta show up somewhere for a couple hours and do this, like fine. I will liquid death is the thing that he's excited to do. And he was like, you know, he learned the song and he was really amped on it, you know. - That's so funny. Speaking of being, I will tell you, I got the Tesla with the self drive mode. And I was, I had a couple gigs in Orange County, a couple of weeks in a row. And I found myself in bumper to bumper traffic after probably drinking a couple liquid deaths. And I was like, I'm not gonna make it to Orange County. I gotta pee. But I had a big, like, I don't know, water jug tumbler thing. Now, peeing while you're driving is doable, but it's tough in LA traffic. But if you got self drive, oh, the world's your bathroom man. I mean, all you need is a jug on that fucking Tesla. They should be arguing that. 'Cause I mean, I had a, I had a dignified non-high voltage road pee with no, like, grab in the wheel, or fucking look, I took my time and I had a lovely piss while that car drove in traffic. - That should be the commercial. - That should be the commercial, 'cause I mean, yeah, you can text when you get to where you got to get to, but peeing, that's a whole different world. All right, let me give a plug out for this. Well, what are you going on to next? Like, you must be, and maybe you can or can't talk about it, but you must have other markets and endeavours and arenas, like, somebody needs a better peanut butter or something. - No, it's interesting. I think what we've found is like, this approach we're taking to liquid death is not confined to water or liquid death. This is approach of like, build an entertaining brand that can go from zero to, you know, a decent amount of scale, very quickly because you're able to get so much ROI. It's like, that Jason Kelsey commercial ended up getting nine billion impressions. - Really? - Because literally nine billion. - Yeah, because the media, every media outlet writes about it. Is this okay? - Right, right, right. - Free, everybody on social is sharing it, talking about it. So it's that earned media thing where the cost of that spot was basically, for us, we made it completely internally to, the hard cost put Jason aside, but because Jason's a garage beer owner, there's different economics there. But it was basically a 150 to 200 grand for us to make that commercial. Like, most commercials, if you try to go to a commercial production company and say, "Hey, I want a 30 second commercial, "what will you charge me to shoot it?" You're not getting anything under $800,000 and a million dollars to make a commercial for most like legit places. So for us, the return on that of nine billion impressions and you look at, if you had to go buy media to get liquid death in front of all those people buying media, you might spend $15 million trying to get that much media, but when you build an actual shareable, entertaining idea, it kind of, the media gets created for free. - I think, I mean, I understand it as well because I used to do shows with tons of staff and writers and executives and blah, blah, blah. And now, you know, me and Andrew just go out and he gets the drone fired up and I just clip the mic on my collar and we just go to the home depot across the street and talk shit to people or whatever, go to Malibu and examine some fire stuff or whatever that is. Just as edits on his Mac and boom. - Yeah. Tons of views. Like, I guess it's the new world order. I mean, the new world order is all the people that we didn't need in the past are gonna be gone. They're already gone and they're not coming back. But the people that actually create, like I can't tell you, when we finished a man show, when Jimmy and I stopped doing the man show, our manager still got paid for season five of the man show that we weren't even on it and we didn't get paid for it. Like, I can't tell you how much it pisses off people who create stuff to know that other people aren't even on the set, aren't even spending the late nights, burning the midnight oil, having all the deadlines and all, we used to walk in to our man show office and we had to do like 26 episodes and there was just a big court board with 26 stripes on it and we just look at it and be completely empty. And we'd be like, we gotta fill every one of those with bunches of bits and, you know, parodies and whatever. And the people who were getting paid, Jimmy hated the producers. They'd get in and they fucking metal around and stuff and he banished him. He said, you guys can't come to our set. You can give no notes, you can do nothing. So there you go, fuck it. One of them was just in Israel the whole time and people would be like that guy. He doesn't even get shot and I go, that guy, that guy's in fucking Israel right now spending our money. He's enjoying himself, we're at work. And we have to work this whole time. There's no more second acts for those guys that the people you don't need, they're not coming back. And that's the new world order. And that's just how, I guess it's how all economics work. I mean, think about big three car companies back in the '60s, you know, total monopolized. Now everything's gotta be lean and mean. And the good news is the consumer is the winner 'cause the product gets that much better, right? - Yeah, and Tessa is a good example where, you know, you don't have to have a real dealership. You know, I think about all the overhead costs of the old way of like plots of land and employees and cars and all this stuff sitting out there where it's like, no, they've got this really simple way 'cause they realize like, no, what does someone actually need to say I wanna buy a Tesla? Let's just give that whatever that is, you know? That's why they're able to, you know, look at what Tesla has valued at compared to any other car company. - Yeah, are they more valuable than Ford and Chevrolet? - 10x more valuable, with the same amount of revenue too. - Right, interesting 'cause they don't have the overhead. - Yeah, and they just, the market believes that the growth for them is so much more substantial in the future than say, a Ford or somebody else, where, you know, they had trouble trying to get into electric cars and they couldn't figure it out and they sort of abandoned some electrical projects. - Yeah, well, back to what we're saying, my Tesla, it's just a Y, it's nice, it works. In self-driving mode, it has like, standard, and then says, hurry, and then the third one says, Mad Max, because they're fucking around. - Yeah. - But they got a sense of humor. And that would have been shot down, you know, at Ford or Chevy GM, whatever. Someone would have, how about we have Mad Max and they'd go, come on, we can't do that. - Well, they, they just do it. - Yeah, and I think that's the one thing that I think Elon has been really good at. Is he's got a good sense of American pop culture. And he knows the value of that to people, and especially when you've got superior technology, which inherently, most Americans are a little bit nervous about, like tech is kind of scary. To like, use humor and pop culture to make something a little bit scary. Like, I remember the original, high-speed mode was ludicrous mode. Like, from space balls. And they even had the thing plaid where it goes to plaid. It's like, yeah, what car company would say? Oh, let's make our most coveted feature named after a space balls joke. - Right. - You know, but. He's smart enough to do that, which again, it has this strategic value of, it makes the technology more approachable. - Yes, you know. Yeah, yeah, no, you're right. You would not, it would be like, happy, friendly robot versus evil robot. You know, we all had this sort of or well-in scary future, whatever. And he's making flame throwers and shit. And he's making it like tongue and cheek, you know, fun. And it's so right, like it's such a part. It's kind of invisible, but you're right. He's taking this thing where it's like, I'd never own an electric car, not turning it into something that's like accessible. - And there's something that shows that, you know, probably in his own head, he just like literally doesn't give a shit what people think. And that lets him operate from this place of confidence. - Yes. - In what decisions you make, like it doesn't feel like he's on defense, like he's playing offense. And I think that's different than the way I like it. - Yeah, you say confidence, I would say freedom. - Yeah. - He feels free. Like, here's what I want to do, so I'm going to do it. - Like he doesn't care if you don't buy the car. - And people are going to talk shit, but who cares? Like he seems like a guy, he seems like a guy who got rich for all the right reasons. Like some guys go, I want to, you know, fancy watch or I want a Ferrari or I want to, you know, I want to yacht. But really, I've told people all the time, people always talk about, you know, by the way, Tesla is 20 to 25 times more valuable than Ford. Ultimately, what you want is not FU money. People go like, that guy's got FU money. The FU money means somebody brings up a frivolous lawsuit against you and your lawyer goes, it's going to be a lot cheaper, just a settle and you go fuck that and they go, you can settle for 100 grand. If it goes, of course, kind of like a 500 grand, you go fuck that guy, because I got FU money. But really, the ultimate is FU money. I'll fuck myself over. I've got so much fucking money I can just do shit to get me. I don't care if I sell cars or not. That's FU money and FU money means you're rich and you can do whatever you want. FU money just means you have more money and you have something set aside to fuck with your ex-wife or something like that, but this ain't that. He has FU money and that's why he is who he is. That's why he seems totally free. - Yeah, because with FU money, it's all about your tolerance for risk is so much higher than somebody else, which enables you to go do truly innovative, different things because that by nature innovation, there was a great quote if the guy said, "All truly innovative ideas are almost laughable at first." - Right. - Like anything if someone says, "I got this great idea." And you're like, "Oh yeah, that sounds like a great idea." That probably means it's not actually that innovative. There's 10 other companies who have been thinking about it for two years, but then he got something like, you know, when Uber first came out, I want people to rent out their cars like taxi drivers with drunk people in the bathroom. - That's the dumbest idea. No one's going to do that, Silicon Valley's or Airbnb. I want to rent my house out to perfect strangers. Oh, that's the craziest dumbest idea. So I think by nature you got to have this. - It's a Starbucks, you know, four dollar coffee, you know, 25 years ago sounded insane. I remember having conversations about canned water, bottled water, like, are you nuts? It's free. It's free. It's in your sink. Who would possibly pay for this thing? Like it's, I'm old enough to remember those conversations. It's sounded crazy that someone would pay for water. And here we are. - Well, it's like you're not paying for water, you're paying for convenience, right? It's like, for me, I'm thirsty right now. I'm on the freeway. For a dollar 69, I could pull over and get a cold water and not wait till I get home and drink tap water. - Yeah, I mean, I get it. I just means when you're looking at things through the filter of an old American, it all uber sounds nuts, Starbucks sounds nuts, bottled water, just water, just paying for a bottle of can of water. By the way, trans kids go into the girls' locker room sounds pretty fucking insane too. Like we're in a side where everything is like, wow, it all sounds nuts. Some good, some bad, but it all, it's all stuff that if you brought up in 1975, everyone went, that's never gonna work. You're not, I'm gonna go, we're gonna convince half the country that a man is a man and a woman is a woman and a man, we're called women, men, birthing people and whatever. They go, are you fucking nuts? That's impossible. It's impossible and we pulled it off. That's the greatest marketing of all. It's the whole trans thing. They actually got it done. Well, I think like a lot of that sort of, whatever you wanna call it, like the overly woke side of the left, I think it all started with a good intention that was just executed and pushed to a way that was counterproductive, I think. I think, I've been around and I've had a hippie mom and a hippie grandma and I will say this, it's good intention mixed with a lot of narcissism. Like I'm gonna tell you, I can help you. I believe in everyone needs dignity and needs to sit down at the table and stuff. So it's like, it's not, I think we're being too kind by going it's all just good intention. Which, and a lot of it is that because like, I don't want any homeless on the streets and I want kids, I want everybody to get world-class healthcare and stuff, but that's all, you're making retarded proclamations that you can't back up, you can't do that. We don't want any of that either. You just don't have a modality, you can't get there. I had a talk with one of my real liberal buddies in Hollywood the other day and I just went, I want all the same shit you want. I just don't trust you to pull it off and I don't think you can. And it's not like I don't want any of this stuff. I want all of it, now you're sort of a narcissist who has to pretend like the other side doesn't, you want kids to go to bed hungry. I don't want any kids to go to bed hungry. I don't want the government paying morbidly obese kids that you snap at McDonald's and check in the box. I don't think they can pull it off, but I'm four, everything you guys are four. - Yeah, and think about the world kids grow up and now in this social media-driven world, which is kind of making everybody so much more isolated. Like, there's a fear for guys to even go out and talk to women now. Because they're afraid and like, now you've got all the worlds porn at your fingertips. So it's like, why would I go take the risk of going out and doing it? So people get so, I think, lonely and we're, and especially kids in these little bubbles where, hey, maybe something they did in school when we were growing up, you did something dumb, the few people that saw it, saw it. Now, whatever you did dumb is living on the internet forever for everybody to comment and chime in on. I think people, they're just feeling, there's this feeling of being lonely and they want some kind of validation. And I think that's what's driving the narcissism, it's like. - Yeah. - Well, I want someone to say, I'm worth something or pay attention to me, I think that's a big part of it. - The narcissism is a, like, it's a monster that needs to be constantly contained. And you can't turn your back on it, walk away and go, ah, leave the cage door open, he'll come back. It's a constant, like, old people knew it, old philosophers knew it, you know, Romans and Greeks and shit like that, the people wrote the Bible and all those people knew, you had to constantly keep a vigil for your narcissism. And if you let it sort of take an inch, it'll take a mile. And we're in a place right now where we just sort of went, every, you know, we got into the self-esteem movement. We started telling everyone they were great, every kid they were great and don't let anyone ever tell you you're lesser than or whatever. And we really pushed it hard. We thought this was a good thing. If everyone felt really good about themselves all the time. Well, now, you know, people are coming up shoving cops and dumping buckets of water. So I would never, it was like, yes sir, no sir. Couple of next men at a light, I would turn the radio down even if my windows weren't open just 'cause I don't know. Fuck, I'm not taking any chances. We let narcissism out. We let it escape. And we said it was a good thing. And now we have our own, you know, lived truths and all this. We made up a whole bunch of fucking words to support. Anything but call it what it is, which is narcissism. And it's in everybody and we used to tamp it down and work on it and humble it and keep it, because they like knew it was a monster and they knew it couldn't be fed and roamed. It couldn't escape. They had to keep it and we had, we wore suits with vest and women wore corsets and stuff like. We literally tamped it down. That's not very ladylike. A young lady would never say anything. And then we let it out. An hour was fat and there weren't sweatpants and they're fighting at the airport because we let the fucking narcissism genie out and we're not getting it back in. And that's the ear we're living in. But speaking of cops. I got a great idea for you. I figured out that I got pulled over once, many years ago, and it was an exhibition of speed situation. I was in a BMW M3. This had a supercharger put on it, it was making like 600 horsepower, and it sat at this fucking shop for like five years. I finally got it, and I said, "All right, I'm going to test this thing out." I was in van, I was like right in the middle of the valley, it was the middle of the day, and I just fucking dropped the clutch and I passed the motorcycle cop who was in between two cars, and he had his gun out, but I was like, "I pulled myself over because I passed him at like 90 to 35, and he came up the head of steam." He's like, "What do you think you're doing, son?" And then he stopped, and he goes, "Where'd you get that hat?" I go, "Hat, what hat?" I wear so many different people, give me free ball caps, I just put them on, they could say anything. I go, "What hat is this?" I looked at it and said, "LAPD on it." So I go, I go, "I was doing some charity work, they gave me the hat because I did some charity work for the LAPD." He goes, "Well, what kind of charity work?" And I was like, "Ah, it's a golf tournament thing. They hosted some of your specs to raise some money, because I guess some of them, the wives, the fallen officers, you know, because, all right, we'll keep it under 50, all right? Get out of here. They used to let me off." They realized, "If you wear a hat that says either LAPD on it or California Highway Patrol, and you're wearing the right hat when you get pulled over, I'm never going to get another fucking ticket in my life. I will be wearing California Highway Patrol hat when I get pulled over my next time in the highway. And the guy will have to ask, "Where did you get that hat?" He's going to have to say, "If he's LAPD and I'm wearing LAPD or he's a California Highway Patrol, he's going to say, "What's with the hat?" And then I'm going to say, "I do some charity work." And then I'm never going to get another fucking ticket as long as I live. It's a good plan. You could do it? But I just ordered, I just had my assistant go online and order me California Highway Patrol hat and LAPD hat. It'll be for both shipping under 40 bucks for two hats, average speeding tickets got to be 350, 400 bucks. Put that hat on. And just, it's easy. Just, I would wear the LAPD one when I was driving around L.A. and when it got on the highway and it got on the freeway, I would put the chip one on. California Highway Patrol. You tell me it wouldn't work. It would totally work. If you were going Dawson, when you go from here up to the Bay Area, put the highway patrol hat on. Smart. Now, it's not going to make it worse. You can't say anything. You can't point out, there's no, it's impossible that the cop pulls you over the highway patrol and doesn't ask where you got the hat. I don't have one on this car, but I used to, I always try to find a back the badge sticker. It doesn't hurt, but they look at that as a little ass kissy, but you get that hat. See, the real thing is, is he will initiate the discussion. He'll say, where do you get that hat? And then you just say charity. You did it, I did a gig with these guys. And that'll be it. There was a really funny story, our chief media officer told me, he's been really exploring like that what you can do with AI lately, and he got pulled over and he used, I don't know if it was chat GPT or Claude, but you know where you can set it in like voice mode where it talks and you talk. And he said, act as my lawyer. And the cop came to the window and he said, hey, I'm using, this is my lawyer and you're going to talk through my lawyer. And he went through a whole thing where the guy was like, well, you don't do this and he's like, ask this and the thing says, well, actually, like, can you show proof that this, this and this? And the cop was getting angry and the cop's like, oh, you think you're smart. I'm going to write you, how about that tint on your window? I'm going to write you a tint for that. And the thing is saying, he has to take a photo of you with the window up and prove that you can't, he can't see you through the tint. Right. And he wouldn't be able to, so basically he got out of this thing without a ticket and the cop was pissed, wow, but it was all just through using AI as his lawyer to like just make sure everything is being said is all 100% above, yeah, above board. And it's to your point, enough where he's like, I got a long day, do I really want to deal with this guy? I'm just going to get back and go do my thing. Well, tell this guy why while there's newfangled way to get out of a ticket is impressive. I got old school away and it's not going to piss the cop off. Yeah, he's going to end up giving you a fucking escort to work. Tell my hat plan. Well, listen, wherever you are, if you live in Nebraska, then you got to get the, you got to get the right municipality for the, you can't be wearing the wrong one because these guys could have rivalries, you see what I'm saying? I wonder if there's kid, do they own the trademark? Like, can you say LAPD and they try to say, that's our trademark, you say, I don't know, but they sell gear, man. I was a son. All right, Mike, this is an interesting stuff, an interesting success story and such a short period of time too, man. LiquidDeath.com is where you can go. All the products are great and I'm with everyone else. So water was kind of fun, but now that we got all the flavors of caffeine, that's the way to do. Mike's are a good speaking to you. Thanks a lot. This man, well, as you get older, you can put the same work in and not see the same results. I feel drained, easier, it's a lot harder to lose weight now. That's why you use Marsmen. What I like about Marsmen is that it's not forcing hormones into your body. It's designed to help your body use more of the testosterone. It's already producing as men get older, there's a protein called SHBG that binds with testosterone. So, even if your T levels look fine on paper, a lot of it may not be available to your body to actually use. Marsmen uses clinically-dosed ingredients like Tonkat Ali and Boron to help free up that bound testosterone. Now my mood's better and I have consistent natural energy. I know you're going to love it too. It's Marsmen, right Dawson? For a limited time, our listeners get 50% off for life, plus free shipping and three free gifts at mengo to Mars.com. That's mengo to Mars.com for 50% off and three free gifts when you check out after you purchase. They will ask you where you're heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show, send you. Oh, oh, oh, Riley, auto parts. Yeah. They're in the business of keeping your car in the road. Riley auto parts offers helpful service with the parts and the knowledge you need to maintain or repair your vehicle. They always know what to do because they're not, I mean, the people who work there are serious about their jobs, you know, they're not just mining the counter. They can go in there as a car guy and talk to these guys and they know how to talk. They've got thousands of parts and you can go online and get them, but I like going in person because I like the way the place smells and they'll also test your battery. They'll do your car battery in or out of your car, find you the right battery if you need to be, it needs to be replaced. They're professional parts people and it's a one-stop shop for car, do it yourself first. But again, you can go online at awrily.com, but I think you should go in, it's just the better vibe. It's awrily, right, Dawson? Drop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us at awrilyauto.com/atom. That's awrilyauto.com/atom. It's time to check Adam's voicemail. Hey, man, I was at your late show and asked this park the other night. You should know that your Joe Biden jokes made a couple of Colorado liberals get up and leave the show. The funniest part was the whispered conversation he had about how they were going to do it without you noticing because they didn't want you to make fun of them. Almost as good as the material. Keep up the good work, my friend, get it off. You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744. Yeah, I don't really do the Biden stuff very often, but I don't know. They seem like they'd like that shit over there. Yeah, but especially when you live in a space that is as liberal as Colorado, when people come out to shows like yours, they're definitely of a certain ilk. Yeah. Yeah, but I agree. I agree. They're certain ilk, but they're still pulling from a pool that is of a certain ilk. So that's fun. I don't, I mean, by the way, if you're a fan of Donald Trump, you will hear nothing but Trump jokes all day every day that's negative about Trump. You cannot watch Saturday Night Live without Alec Baldwin or whoever. You can't watch a stand-up special or see, you know, Shane Gillis do a set or whatever. I don't get this part where it's like, okay, I don't like Biden and I do like Trump. But our deal is is nobody can make any jokes about Biden, otherwise you get offended and leave. But I got to sit and hear all the Trump jokes in perpetuity forever and I'm fine with it. Like, all right, that's the rule. Yeah. There's a thing in comedy where headliners will tell people, I don't want my openers to be political and then the openers will go up and they'll do a joke about Trump. And then the headliner won't say anything. Basically what they're saying is, I don't want my, my openers to go out and make fun of the left. Right. Yeah. Because they will leave. Yes, absolutely. I know. When did the skin get so thin on the left? I don't, I guess, look, if you're going to live in California and you're going to think how I think, then you have to have a pretty thick skin because everybody will disagree with you, including family, neighbors, associates, the business, you're going to work in Hollywood. You're going to work in entertainment, live in California and talk like I talk. I guess you'll have to develop a thick skin. So I don't notice it. Like, I turn on SNL and they're making fun of Trump. Okay. That's all SNL does make fun of Trump. So you guys can't handle any, and by the way, whatever the Biden jokes are, they're not like cruel, they're actually good jokes, they're, they're decent, solid jokes that are just jokes. Yeah. I tell a Trump joke. That's just a joke. You know what I mean? Yeah. And when SNL, when they make that Trump joke, they're okay with it, but when things don't go their way, that's when we get Kate McKinnon singing "Hallelujah" on the cold open of Saturday man life. Chill. That's, someone marked a twine. That's when comedy died, everybody forgot about that bitch. All right. What do you got? Well, speaking of President Trump, here's a video. You may have seen the other day, former President Barack Obama made a statement saying that if women were put in charge of every government for two years, things would be better. Well, this is Trump's reaction to President Obama's statement. Women in charge of every government for two years, things would be better. Do you buy that? I say ridiculous. I love women. I think they're great. But what a ridiculous statement that is that I love that even you would say that. I love the little aside at the everybody's like, even you, you liberal cock, even you would say that. Well, angle of Merkel ran Germany into the fucking ground. I mean, look, there's examples of women. I think by and large, worse than men at running things, it's probably why there's more men and CEOs and shit like that who got tons of female mayors. If you broke it down, I'll look at you, Dawson. You got like Lori Lightfoot and you got what's your name, Wu and Boston and you had what's her name and Oakland and what if you just and you had Karen Bass, London Breed and San Francisco. Okay. Let's just like kind of step back and go, look, obviously we're not going to have women run Japan and China and and and Britain and and whatever. There's going to be some female leaders in certain places. But what have we just said, look, a running a city, running a good size city is a pretty good indicator on how you would run things and how things would work, meaning it's kind of controllable, but there's a good enough sized people. Your policies will matter and we can kind of work this out. Like if we're doing a thought experiment, like I would say, I would say this, if someone who said, here's this person, you want to hire him as a general manager or whatever you want to make sure they're there early and they stay late and they work hard and stuff like that, I'd say, if that person ran a lunch truck and ran the shit out of a lunch truck for like a year, I know exactly how that person worked, like a no preparation early often. You know, it wouldn't be, there were a lot of like he didn't show up on Thursday and then he showed up Friday and crash a lunch truck or something. I know who that person was. Versus guy never missed a day was always set up by 6 a.m. He had breakfast, though, he's like, like you know who that person was by that lunch truck, right? And he wouldn't have to go like, what about other lunch trucks who were maybe failed with another lunch. You just go, no, if I saw guy in a lunch truck for a year, I don't exactly, all right. It should fry truck managers or guys who ran the fry fryer would never make great managers of a McDonald's. You know, it's not like you jump into a position of power and all of a sudden now you're a great employee. You suck when you're on the bottom, you're going to suck when you're up on top. Yeah. And vice versa. You're good, you're good. So I would say a large city like Boston or San Francisco or Oakland or LA, Chicago would have you. I'd go, that's a pretty good yardstick to measure male versus female. And I think to be a set, you know, listen, Lori Lightfoot sucked and now there's a dude. Oh, wait a minute, maybe black people aren't good at this. That's just their category. Here's the whole point. The whole point is LA's run by woman. It sucks. She's battered job. A Boston is run by a horrible mayor like I think what we could do is just go. If we'd like to find out if they're better at this or worse than this, we'll just take the top 10 female mayors and the top 10 male mayors and we'll figure out who's better, who city runs better and whose schools are better, whose streets are safer, whose place is cleaner. And I think you probably end up finding out that the women didn't do as good a job as them. That's what I think. It'd be percentage points. It wouldn't be 100 to zero. There'd be some sort of margin where we calculated the test scores, the crime statistics, the cleanliness. We pulled the people live in the city and the man won 63 to 37 percent or some version of that. If it's seen what's going on in St. Paul at all with that mayor, the lady mayor who first off, you're doing a shit. You have two lady mayors over there. You have the dude who's a chick. Yeah, mayor Frye who's basically a lady. I love every once a year somebody just tweets him weeping by George Floyd's coffin. That's the greatest cock pussy. You want to talk about the ultimate cock, usually to be a cock, I mean, if you like that genre of porn, the black dude fucks your old lady while you watch, but he's taking it in the ass by a black ghost, the ultimate cock porn, the worst done nots movie ever. He's getting fucked by a black dude who's dead. The ultimate cock form like I like his head nodding, he's really sobbing so heavily. That's great. Oh, yeah. That's so funny. This video and the one where basically he shows up to the rally and the whole rally tells him to pound sand and get the hell out of there and he walks away with his tail between his legs. That's the other one that I love so much because it's like these people voted for you. You kiss their ass and now they turn around and they totally pile on top of you. Yeah. I also liked him pretending to enjoy Somali rice of Ronin. Yeah, it is. That's another good idea. I'm joking. Yeah. No, the mayor for St. Paul first off doing a terrible job with the city and then on top of it going through allegations right now of sexual misconduct where she was grabbing the inner thigh. Oh, I heard about that. Yeah. And that was the only thing I kind of like about her. I agree. Yeah. There he is. Oh, this guy sucks. Oh, God. Oh. This is great. Oh, beautiful. I love it. I love eating cold stuff with my hands. This is wonderful. I love food that's goat-based, you know what I mean? I love goat-based food. And so if you like goat-based food, you're going to love the Somali cuisine. All right. Is that this guy? It's terrible. You got a cuck and then you got. And by the way, the chicks, as it turns out, the chicks do all the same shit the dudes do. All the kickbacks, all the bribes, all the paid for my shopping spree and got my daughter or job at the place. It's all the same shit. You've been saying white guys do the whole and have been doing. I go whole. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, this is him dancing. It's a Somali fast. God. God is so weird having a total pus. Like we got new some and we had we had Eric Arsetti who was almost as big a pus as fries this guy said. Yeah. He was almost that big a pus, not quite. But he was like, he gave the speech once where he's like, would these criminals are paroled, we owe them a dead of grass. Oh, I remember that. Yeah. Shut up. You fucking pussy. Jesus Christ. All right. All right. Speaking of ladies, a furious woman was caught on camera trying to shut down a California couple's romantic marriage proposal before the confrontation took a very ugly turn. Footage shows a woman confronting a videographer and photographer who were hired to capture the surprise engagement in Laguna Beach. Mm-hmm. It's a nice part of LA. The public is the people that live here to enjoy the park and you have picnics and they don't allow events on the grass here for that reason. Yeah. I understand them. Come here and enjoy it. So I just call the police. They're coming out here. They're going to make you tear it down. No, I understand them. We'll be out. I promise. It's every single fucking weekend and I'm sick and tired of it. We weren't here last weekend. Tell him it's here down. You're gonna have to anyway. I'm sick of this shit People feel really good about them In the mariachi big kicks in and then it's where she loses Yeah, tough to hear but she says this isn't Mexico. You mother fuckers. Go back to Mexico. I know she does have a point there (laughs) Make a move on me. And as basically the end of the video right there is just her you can stop it there mariachi yeah, so this sort of proves that everybody is a little bit of that narcissism runs both ways because Enough with the marriage proposals and the prom proposals. Just ask the person to marry you ask them to go to the dance I don't need this whole let's make signs. Let's get a mariachi band. You don't need to spell out. Will you marry me in Rose petals? Just do it private. Why does this have to be such a big deal? Everything has to be an extravaganza? You're missing the gender reveal Yeah, we got to get a cannon and load it up with either blue or pink. What first off the gender reveal It's insane and in the reason it's insane is Everybody either has a boy or a girl and then you act equally excited no matter what you get Like even if you're rooting for it dude, you still got to act excited when the pink powder comes out and It's it's sort of it's even less than a birthday like I never was picking a birthday's Because I'm always like everyone's born Hitler's born Your worst enemies born like the worst people in the world are born, you know Jeffery Dahmer has a birthday, you know everyone has a birthday So it says nothing about you other than you had a birthday, which everybody who's on the planet had a birthday everybody literally You are the least this is the least unique thing on the planet because everyone who's alive by definition had a birthday And they're all here with you and there's probably several million people Maybe hundreds of millions of people that have a birthday. That's on your birthday too. Right now. They're in China somewhere You're in India. Who gives a fuck? We don't care about that. So let's not let's celebrate your achievement day Yeah, not your not your birthday and The reveal thing the general reveal thing is is a no one gives a fuck whether you have a son or daughter Be everyone either has a son or daughter. Now. I guess they can change that they live in LA At some point we could have a gender reveal party for them on their 14th birthday That's what I would do. I'd be like Son yeah, you want to you want to go like Tammy now? Yeah, I named him Jake. Yeah, it's Tammy. I'm becoming a woman I got a plan. I want to celebrate you Let's do a second gender reveal. We did your first gender reveal party. Yeah, when you're born That was blue. Yeah, you remember that when we burned down half the forest California. I named you Jake Now let's do a second one where I get the old cannon back out again Okay, and then this will be now you being Tammy the woman and I'll all load up the cannon and then I Show up to work Monday. They're like what happened with the gender cannon. It's fired. Yeah, Jake's I mean Tammy's gone Yeah, let's never bring this up again. I probably should have put more wadding in there and I probably should have a little different I'm one of the sulfur to gunpower ratio. It'd been a while. Uh-huh anyway, and I probably shouldn't have had a pointed directly At Tammy or Jake. Yeah, what was Jake at the time? Yeah, I mean Yeah, technically Never really became Tammy. Yeah anyway, I'm gonna adopt some I would adopt a kid. Did you get the deposit back on the mariachi band that you hired to perform at said cannon funny story with the cannon Okay, took them out to them to yeah, man. Yeah, there's real bad cannon. Well, luckily they got insurance because they're definitely US citizens. Yeah, yeah, the general reveal party is is the most narcissistic thing a couple can do. Yeah No one gives a fuck and again, I don't know what it's it's like saying I'm gonna flip this coin and if it lands on heads or tails, we're gonna go insane and it's like okay, that's all that's all we got Mm-hmm. We got a boy and a girl. Yeah, there's no other options If you are on the fence about finding out if you should do a gender reveal or find out if you're having a boy or a girl I always give this advice, which is Everything on the planet right now is under a camera nothing is secret anymore The only thing that you can keep secret for nine months is if you're going to have a boy or a girl And as somebody who went through what who didn't know if they were what gender they were having when they were having a child The second that that baby pops out and that doctor says it's a girl or it's a boy It'll be the best moment of your life and every time I tell people that they go well people need to know if they should buy something Pink or blue there's a target or a wall greens on every corner of the planet Amazon can bring you whatever you want in three hours if by the time they get from their house to the hospital They can stop and buy something that is either pink or blue. Why do why this is for you? This is for you to be a narcissist and tell everybody how important you are and that your baby's gender is way more important than their free Saturday, so you're saying you allowed the doctor to assign your daughter a Gender at birth Rudy. Well, that was the mom Dessigned at birth. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that doesn't mean that's what she is Well, when they cut off the penis it was covered by the by the insurance since we were at the hospital that day I mean I had to pay a little bit of a you know, a little bit of a kickback, you know Yeah, for the most part they take care of it right then and there, you know Now if you come back if you leave the hospital and come back, that's where the insurance company really screws you Yeah, then it's an elective surgery 10,000 every time I start thinking about training seriously again I know I need good gear. 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Well Gen Z some Gen Z freshmen have already decided just weeks into the fall semester to abandon their college campuses and head back home to take classes online Others are quitting school entirely very early on and a recent outnumbered segment Fox News co-host Discuss the trend of young college students bailing out on campus life and returning home saying the degree is what they're after not the college experience Yeah, well, I guess the booze consumption is down quite a bit and you can't go out and chase skirts around like you used to do because you're going to get sued or They're going to try to string you up to use your rape. So you remove the booze and the boobs Mm-hmm, and you got a fucking 75 inch flat panel at home. Yeah free Wi-Fi also houses are not what they used to be like Your house my house like let's really break it down We had 800 square feet no air conditioning in one black and white TV in my stepdad's room No dog no hoop no pool no pet no no nothing no double wide sub zero Not none of that So there's no reason possible for me to ever want to go back inside my house like it was it was made so unattractive my basically I realized what my mom did Who's number one goal was to get everyone to leave and to leave her alone she did To her home what basically I did to my car stereo way back in the day when I Decicrated my own car stereo. I desecrated it. So it wouldn't be attractive. So it wouldn't be stolen my mom's like If I put a bunch of hot pockets in this refrigerator and we get some air conditioning up in this place, these guys are going to be hanging out eating hot pockets and air conditioning. I instead will make it a sweat box and have nothing to eat. And then people, my kids will actually be shoved. So, but you think about houses now like man cave, the fucking man sat on my stepdad, John's bet sat on the bed he slept on and watched mod on a TV set and sweltered. Yeah. If I had a fucking, I go these houses now, they got full man caves, they got full bars, they got to have taps, you know, like popcorn machines and they've got the pinball at the old school video games over there. Purple boy hockey downstairs. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not leaving. Yeah. Parents who love them, it's filled with all the great things. Zones, different zones. Climate zones, climate zones. In the fucking house. Yeah. And we're not even talking about like super rich guy shit. We're just talking about stuff. Like you can go get a cool throwback video game. You can go get like I said, like a fucking little soda, soda maker beer tap, you know, whatever thing, music, every fucking where, you know, you got your sonos piped in or whatever the air's thing. You got 80 inch flat panel TV. Go down to Costco for, you know, 450 bucks. You get a 90 inch TV set. Seven million channels on it. I don't know. That that sounds pretty comfortable versus like shitty dorm room with crappy roommate. Yeah. And what's even crazier is how little amount of uncomfortability like these college kids can have because the places that they're living right now, the the dorms and the apartments they're moving into. Beautiful. They're stunning. They're great. They have, like you said, they have all the amenities. They have Wi-Fi. It's not as nice as what home is, but it's still pretty damn good. And they can't handle that. Well, I would argue though, if it's an old school and an old dorm, you still got a square footage thing. Absolutely. Like you start to live in a small space with somebody else. Yeah. And that's what I'm saying. It's not as it's not as bad as it was, say like in the 90s, when people were going to college and they were just renting out these awful homes near the college, or they were staying in dorms that hadn't been updated since the 70s, the places are staying now are good. Not as good as what home is. So that's what they're taking out. Home is like fun. Yeah. Now like big stainless steel fridge with an ice maker, ice water. I said the whole fucking nine yards. Probably somebody who does your laundry makes your food. Yeah. I'm just thinking like the home base is like my kids were no hurry to get out of their house at all. That's why they don't know when we went to driver's license anymore. Because where the fuck are you going? Yeah. You got a man cave because you mentioned just having a fucking man cave when I was a kid. That would have just been so spectacular. Like we used to go we watched the super we would watch the Oscars at my grandparents' house because they had a color TV. They had like a 27 inch color TV and we were going to watch the Oscars so we would have to go to their house because the 13 inch Z-knife wasn't going to cut it. And they had an air conditioner in their bedroom though. They didn't have one outside of that. But I think about all these houses like just pools, jacuzzi's, theater rooms and shit. Yeah. And they do the singers like my dad went to Costco and he got one of these inflatable theater screens and we could put upstream. We'd have movie night. The projector's only 150 bucks and it's high dev and then you can watch the movie from the pool like where are you going? Yeah. Oh anybody who had a pool table in their basement. It didn't even have to be level. You didn't even need all the balls. No. It was better than anything that we had in our house. Ping pong table was a big deal. If somebody had a ping pong table, that was a big fucking thing. If somebody and if somebody had a swimming pool, that was it. Yeah. They were never leaving. That's the biggest mistake that TREX family ever made was digging a pool next to my house. Yeah. No. The worst I had, the worst you can have it is the trilogy of pools and your odd man out. So my dad's house, the house I rebuilt in the TV series that I made in 2002 or whatever it was. That house, which was a sweatbox that had no central air and all I did was lay in that garage and sweat. The house directly behind us had a swimming pool. The house to the right side of us had a swimming pool and the house to the left had a swimming pool. So I would just be sweating my ass off all summer hearing Marco Polo slashing. I didn't even just fucking sloshing around in that pool because by the way, people had to use their pools. You got a pool. You used it back then. My kids are like, ah, they had a pool. That was all right. But they weren't in it all fucking day every day. Houses were hot. Pools were fun. You had nothing else to do. You didn't have porn on your fucking phone or videos or anything. It was summertime in the valley. You had a pool. You're in that pool. And so all I would do is sit and sweat hearing people frolic in pools that I couldn't get to. Yeah. It's so much harder. It's first off, it sucks to hear people have fun. But when you're also equally, you're 10 times more miserable because of your enough space where you're sweating it out or digging a ditch for your dad and everybody else is out playing baseball. It sucks, man. It's the worst. Andrew says that to Luke a lake may be the unused pool capital of North America. To Luke a lake is every single house has a pool, every single house. And you don't hear a lot of frolic. Rich people like having a pool just because they got a pool. And also when you got big acreage, sometimes your pool is actually pretty far for the pack of your house in those places. But yeah, I'd like to know, I will bet you the above ground pool in Arkansas gets a fuck of a lot more use than the in ground pool into Luke a lake, right? Yeah, because the outdoor pool, especially for people in the Midwest, we get a minuscule amount of time to use it every single year. We get three and a half to four months to be able to use it because it gets winter. You got to winterize everything. But then on top of that, the parents are also fun parents now. They want to be out in the pool with their kids and enjoying it and drinking beers on a Saturday. So now you got not only do you have the kids, but you have the parents acting like kids, and it just turns into one big party. I would have a policy. If I did the above ground pool, the policy wouldn't be like no cannonballs or use the latter, no crawl over the edge or no rough housing. Be absolutely no videotaping because I've seen so many videos of these things going. I think they only go south when you pull out the video camera, right? So I'd be like, and if somebody pull their video out, I'd fucking grab it and throw it in the pool, go get the fuck away from that. You, I know this thing's going to end up on some Bob Saga show in 10 minutes. Get that shit out of here. Best I can determine the video camera takes out more above ground pools than fat kids cannonball. Yeah, 10,000 gallons of chlorine water all over your yacht. Why? An endless amounts of video of this thing's going caddy wampus, and it's only because that camera came out. Well, speaking of kick ass homes, Los Angeles's progressive mansion tax has somehow made housing jobs and tax revenue scarcer. This is measured. You sell the voters in 2022 as a way to stick it to millionaires and billionaires. But it ended up sticking it to the people as a whole. The damning new report says that the tax officially known as the United to House LA or ULA has had a negative impact on the city's high end and multi-family real estate market and collected less than half of what it was expected to generate to tackle the city's housing crisis. Okay. Why is it a few things? First off, you know, every time somebody creates a billionaire, that billionaire creates like hundreds of millionaires. Like they act like everything's in a fucking bubble. Like this guy just got rich and no one else gets rich because he's taking all the money. No, these guys create tons of jobs. But I want to say this all the time in terms of their plans. Like I always say this with the government. You take the LA City Council or, you know, the mayor Mondani, or whoever, Karen Bass, Nithya Rahman, or whoever. Do you think that they're brighter than guys like Rick Caruso, like guys who create things, you know, guys who build businesses? Like there are dopes. They're mostly dopes. And the fact that they're going to outsmart the billionaire guys who create everything. It always blows up in their face because they're dumb and they don't know they're dumb. So they go, we're going to go get more money off of that. And then later on, it's like, oh, turns out everyone either moved their corporation in Nevada or instead of $5 million for their house. They sold it for 4,999 so they could avoid the tax and it turns out they stop building because they don't want to pay the tax. Whatever it's all unintended consequences, it's all outsmarted. They get outsmarted by the people who work in the private sector who have to go out and compete every single day and the dumb bloated bureaucrat who never had a job in the private sector. At the always gets outsmarted at the end and goes, "Man, that's not what I wanted to happen. I had this thing where I was going to control rent. I was going to give out this because I've got free bus rides and everything else." And they always get bit by their own snake because they don't understand business. They're pying the sky and they're fucking dumb. So all these things that they always say, "This is going to work." They never fucking work because they're trying it against. These guys are like, they're like fizz-ed coaches from junior high and they're going, "I'm going to go fucking out with that Bill Bella check in an NFL game." It's like, "No, you're not. No, you're not. I'm going to go get some of those rings." It's like, "You're not getting, he's better at this than you are." The reason he's better than yours, he worked. He was an assistant coach and then he was a manager and then he was a front office guy and then he was a special team's guy and then he was a defensive coordinator and Cleveland. He's here for a reason and he's getting this salary for a reason and he knows how to navigate. You don't. All you know how to do is try to get money off of Bill Bella check. That's all you know. That doesn't mean you're a good cop and you're going to fucking get whipped and they always do. And this is the latest. It's like rent control, rent control never gets them what they want and they immediately stop commercial building. Who the fuck is going to build a commercial? Of course you're not going to have units. No one's going to build units. If you get to control, the government gets to control the price of the unit then who's going to invest in this? Yeah, they don't do it here in California where they do build them as in places like Tennessee or Idaho or you know states that are friendly to people who actually create jobs and bring in money. Yes, they do. All right. Okay. Let's see. Tomorrow, Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey, oh, is Andrew going to be doing stand up there? Yeah, buddy. Andrew, very funny, stand up comedian, really, really, really pick some angles up there. Uncle Vinnie's will be there tomorrow and then Friday and Saturday, Potsdown, PA, man, homecoming for Andrew. His winter family's coming out, we'll be doing four shows there, Soul Joles. You can have fun place, fun place, Rudy knows. It's a lot of, yeah, we were there last year. Yeah. Good, I'm Carl Ducco. I'm going to be in Atlanta at Helium coming up four shows over there, October 30th through the first and November. What do you got, Rudy? I'll be in La Jolla, California. I'll also be in San Antonio and Dallas. Just go to RudyPovishCompany.com. So until next time, I'm Carl for Rudy Povish and Mike Cesario, saying Mahala. Pick up your phone and leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744. And they're going to take us to CDAs, man, at adamcobrola.com. In this life, you can't win. When the world gets you down, escape to Pluto TV. This is objectively fantastic. Relax into the movies and shows you already know and love all for free. Swing! Even our news is uplifting. You stay classy, San Diego. Watch School of Rock, crazy ex-girlfriend, anchor man, the legend of Ron Burgundy, the ex-files Wayne's World, and so much more. We're not worthy! Escape to Pluto TV. Stream now, they never.