Mikaela Hoover

Propel Fitness Water. With Gatorade Electrolytes, zero sugar and vitamins. Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade Electrolytes. I actually think that's the point of art and life is like learning how to be ourself. Yeah. And I think too, Chopper has healed so much in me. I like, I didn't know how much I needed this role. So when I booked the role, it was the first time I looked at myself in the mirror after I booked it. And I was like, you did it. Michaela. Yes. Thanks for coming. Thank you so much for having me. Wait, you order House of Harlow? They do extra, extra small. They do. She's so small. So I'm so grateful to her for that because people don't make like tiny clothes. We got to get you on the, like the friends list. That would be my dream. So she's, they send stuff. What? Yeah. I'll post them and I'll do anything. No, I'll make sure. That would be so cool. Yeah. I'll get, I'll get your information somehow and give it to, um, give it to them. They're real. It's cool company. Well, it's your wife's company. Of course it's cool. I'm super proud of her. She started it 16 years ago. I started wearing it shortly after she started it. Yeah. House of Harlow is funny. Cause it's like, it's not the biggest brand, not the smallest brand. It's been around for 16 years. It's really made its way into the like multi-generational culture. I feel like it's pretty big. It's just all right. Yeah. I'm proud of her. Probably because it's my wardrobe, but it's, I feel like it's pretty, it's been around for. That's really cool. She'll be really. Really? She'll be tickled. I was actually trying to find a House of Harlow outfit to wear to this, but I'm like, I've worn everything a million times. And so it would be kind of on the nose and cheesy, but yeah, I love her stuff. I love her stuff. That's really nice. I could, I could talk about her all day. So sweet. What is her sign? When was she born? What month? Virgo. And what are you? Pisces. Pisces. Yeah. That would go together. You're into astrology. Very into astrology. What are you? Cancer. Emotional. What month is that? July. Oh, July. But what is your moon sign? Ooh, that's a good question. I think I'm a, um, I want to say maybe Leo moon or maybe. Well, Leo would explain why you're in the spotlight. Oh. If you're a Liam man. But I wonder what your rising is. Cause you have a very mellow energy. I wonder, am I mellow? Yes. You have a very calming energy. I think I'm grounded. Yes. That's why I'm, I'm sure there's earth, a lot of earth signs. There's earth. In your chart. Yeah, that's probably it. Earth. I don't know a lot about this stuff, but. Pisces is one of, if not the best sign. Pretty fluid. Yes. The water sign. Yeah. Very intuitive. They're the most intuitive sign. Very intuitive, very gut. And lucky. It's a lucky sign. Very lucky. Super lucky. I also work with my wife. What? Yeah. I work on House of Harlow. Oh, so me just talking about that, you're like, oh, this is, this is extra great. Yeah. I'm not involved in the like. Design. Design or anything in the like business of, as far as like the vision of the business or whatever. I just run the company. Wow. So I just work with the CEO and like help manage the infrastructure of the company. Wow. Which I really love. I'm not good at like clothing design or anything. So whenever she shows me something, I'm like, that's cool. Well, her designs are great. I love them. Yeah. She's dope. So. Do you do like anything like that? Design clothes? Yeah. Or like, do you have any other companies or businesses or. No, I wish that would be really. Product or anything? No, I've been so focused on my acting career for the last two decades that I haven't. You've been doing it a long time. I know. I know. You don't look old enough. Oh, shut the hell up. You really don't. That's so nice. A long time. I mean, I moved out here at 18 and went to college out in, in Los Angeles. And then for. Loyola. Look at you. Yeah. Yeah. LMU. I studied. Oh my goodness. I feel so special. Thank you. Yeah. And just was in the school plays and, and then got an agent and a manager and, and all of that stuff. But like, it's taken me so long. Yeah. I mean, I've been working, I've been a working actor for a long time, but it's taken me a long time for people to actually recognize that. What does people recognizing it mean to you? People thinking, oh, she's talented and she deserves to be here. And you get more. Looks like people go, you know what? Let's call her for that. See if she, right. Like she, she, I think that she could possibly play this role. So you love the work. I, I love the work. And the, the problem sometimes is people. Yeah. Not giving you a fair look. You see a role and you go, I would fucking crush that. But they can't see it. Which is usually the case. Right. Which could be really frustrating. I think because of my voice and I look a certain way or, you know, have a certain energy that people think like, oh, she couldn't do that. But I do love the work. I love the character work and I have OCD. And the only time that I don't have OCD is when I'm in a relationship. And I'm like, oh, I'm in a relationship. Yeah. Yeah. But OCD is when I'm working because I'm in, in that character. So it's really great. Do you think that being such a pretty girl gets in the way sometimes? Thousand percent. Yeah. Yeah. Which would be also be frustrating. And I'm not saying boohoo me. Cause I'm, it's like, No, it is what it is. I'm just saying. It is what it is. Yeah. But I think that that's why playing this little reindeer boy chopper has been so amazing because nobody would ever be like, she can play a little, you know, like she can play a little, a little boy or a little, you know? And it was like, that has nothing to do with the way that I look. Nothing. It's all. I have a theory. I think our most productive years are from 40 to 60. I feel like I just stepped into life. And I think that your talent, cause you're very talented. Oh, thank you so much. It's interesting. If you're smart, which you're smart and you're talented, you're talented and you work hard, you will not lose. It's just a matter of time. I hope you're right. No, I know I'm right. Yeah. Thank you. I know it. And I'm telling you and I'm psychic. I love this. I think that you're about to find out in the next chapter. And I think the chopper role, I'm not saying you're just here because of one piece, but I'm one of the biggest one piece fans in the world. You are? Yes. I didn't know that. Oh, you didn't know that? No. Okay. You are? Yes. I'm a one piece nerd. I'm so happy. Like I would get in a line at Comic-Con for you to sign a fucking card. For real? Yes. I wouldn't know. I didn't even know you knew what one piece was. I'm obsessed with one piece. I just didn't want to lead with that. I wish you would have led with that. I would have felt so cool. I'm like looking around like, oh, I'm so intimidated. You would have said one piece. I feel cool. Okay. So. I love that. And I think that we think we have the idea of what our career or our work because a career is just a life, is your life's work. And we think that we know what our life is supposed to be. And then God has another plan. And that if we trust that and go forward, we will discover that plan. And that plan will always be better than our plan. Because if you had to decide what you think success is, because success is not just a hit movie and you're on the poster and, and then everyone's like, oh my God, it's you. And there's cameras and you have sunglasses on. And you're like, that's one picture we see all the time. And we're like, we're programmed to think like, I guess that's what success looks like. Because I, in my twenties, I had the hit records and all that stuff. And I was like, I guess this is, this is success. All right. And then that got in the way. Wow. That's so cool. And it got in the way of my growth. It got in the way of my, of me. And then I had to go into my thirties with had not having done no work on myself, having not grown, having been infantilized by all the people that do all the things for you and all the, the, the success. Exactly. The success. The success is what I got a bunch of money or I got a bunch of whatever. It's not that I'm not grateful for the experience I had. It's not that I want to throw it away. It's that I thought that was the ball game, but I'm sitting here now. This is the ball game. And that's a cool backstory in my opinion. It's so much more interesting. And yeah, it is. It's, you know? Yeah. And if someone has had to work to get here and not give up, which that's how I feel about myself. Like I'm here now and it's not that I don't care about anything I've done. It's that I showed up for that. I showed up for that. I worked my ass off and I'm grateful that I got that, that things happened in the order they did, but I'm not chasing that. I'm not like here trying to figure out how do I do that again? How do I have a hit song or how do I, but I thought I, I thought I was until like, I came to me in working on myself and realizing what's the most important part. It's me actually. Yeah. I need to be happy. I need to be healthy. I need to live a long time. I need to like have a good relationship with the world and with like myself and with people and having success young can stunt us from actually having the one knowing who the fuck we are. Yeah. Having real relationships with people where we're like, we know them and we're not the only one in the relationship. It's not transparent. transactional too when you're young it's like and you get success like that yeah i can't imagine how transactional everything feels the success now in this stage of your life is richer of course you know it's like a more rich you earned it too feeling yeah so i'm just saying i think every career should feel exciting and interesting those are the best ones and i think that you've had a very interesting propel fitness water with gatorade electrolytes zero sugar and vitamins propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self what propels you propel with gatorade electrolytes feels like it's just starting yeah but it hasn't just started yeah it does though it feels like it it has you know it feels like it's just now starting has the chopper roll you one did it open your eyes to one piece yeah so when i i was filming another show when i which i thought was the other show that i got was a um beef yeah have you watched season two i haven't watched season two season one blew my mind i cannot wait for you to watch we're waiting we've been waiting to like binge it so it's like on our binge list watch it together it's so i was a huge fan of season one and the fact that i even got an audition for season two i was like oh my god i'm even being considered and when i got a call back i was like there was a confidence that i had i got from that that i'd never had because it was like just in my mind beef is such a it's like the highest form of art for television like one of the highest it's just it's a masterpiece the the first season and the second season so when i booked the role it was the first time i looked at i looked at myself in the mirror after i booked it and i was like you did it you did it for you and you did it and you showed yourself that you're talented you can walk away from this career now and say that you did it because you just proved yourself and it's just one role on on a show but there was something about that moment in my life where i went now it's just fun now you just you don't have to prove yourself anymore so going back to to one piece i was working on beef and i was like oh my god i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it and my agent called and said you know who's your agent uh stephanie at at buckwild she's my voiceover agent she's the greatest cool so like such a nice person really cares she saw me you know like i'd had agents before that who didn't see me she sees me and to me that's so much more important than anything else 100 so she called a week later and she said hey casting asked for you specifically on this because i had been auditioning for for voiceover since guardians of the galaxy and i hadn't been booking anything nobody was taking me seriously nobody was even but guardians is such a good piece of tape though like oh thank you like it's so good oh thank you so much like that's good work thank you but but but the industry didn't i mean they clearly did because it led me to one piece so when i got when i got the sides and that the breakdown in the audition they didn't say what it was for so it doesn't it has a code name and then it didn't say what the character was and it said it was three uh episodes on a netflix show and that it was facial capture as well and the breakdown was that he was this ugly little forest creature who had been picked on his whole life who'd never been seen and right away when i read the breakdown i was like they want me for this that's um they want me to play this ugly little boy forest creature i'm so happy right now and then i read the sides and and one of the the scenes it's such a good arc oh one of the scenes was with dr here like yeah and uh where he's saying you know he's he's locking him out and immediately it was almost like cosmic universe thing i was like i love this role and this role is me and i knew nothing about it uh and i i went and i recorded it and i had the most fun i'd had in years playing and making up this who he was and and all this stuff about him and then uh stephanie said that producers want to see you i still didn't know what it was for and so when i auditioned i again thought he was this forest creature so i was like hunched over i had one eye closed like a like so gross and the producers were like you don't have to do that you don't have to and i was like no i'm ugly little i'm getting into character i thought of him as this slimy gross and i i i did the audition and one of the producers was had tears and he goes people are gonna love chopper so much and i was like who what's i thought it was for i can't say what the breakdown of the the code name but i thought it was for like ninja turtles or something it was something so like not what i had envisioned and then found out it was one piece and i called one of my friends and i was like oh my god i'm gonna love chopper so much and i was like oh my god my best friends who also happens to be in the in the business and is a director and i and i knew when i got the call for for chopper i was like i knew it was something so special i knew that it was something that i i wanted so bad i was crying and i called my friend and i said it's for this show one piece and he goes your life just changed oh yeah and i was like what do you know about one i mean now you know about one piece i do now but i i didn't know how important one piece is i didn't it to me it's japanese star wars that's the best way i could describe the universe right even though it's not star wars but it's that important every character has a backstory every story arc is related somehow yeah it's so beautiful it's also the the biggest selling comic of all time i know it just surpassed superman yeah and it's like one of the greatest like worlds and i discovered one piece because i went to i didn't get to travel as a kid but i got to travel as a kid and i got to and my first time traveling was when we started touring in like the year 2000 i went to japan and it was already in japan it was like in the early yeah in the early years of it it was there and it was like it was cool and then in the 2000s it it got bigger and bigger and bigger and then in 2010 11 12 it got bigger and you you saw this thing over the last 20 years grow really it's only because there's so many fans see and i've never been to japan oh my god you would love it you would love it i've been to korea and and i was when i was shooting beef we were shooting the finale in korea and i was chopper but nobody could say that i was chopper i couldn't tell people and i saw in every convenience store there were there was little choppers like every he was everywhere yeah choppers couldn't tell anyone choppers beloved but i couldn't it was so cool to see him everywhere there but then i was but i can't tell anyone that that i'm him and one piece is at the beginning of its global awareness like now i just saw shack was wearing a netflix one piece yeah i'm telling you right now the next 20 years is going to be about the rest of the world discovering one piece like the way it's loved in japan it's loved in america by anime fans but now it's expanding because this is why i keep saying star wars in the beginning star wars was big one piece is big in japan star wars was like i'm a sci-fi fan now no star wars is just a global accepted piece of entertainment right like everyone knows star wars that to me is one piece like i believe that every character should have their own their own movie like the backstories are so good in one piece it's making me so happy and excited right now you have no idea what you're doing to my little heart so big and so important and it's the number one but also just like comic and then now that the rest of the world is understanding like more and more about the characters their stories are so good so good and i love one piece so i'm just like such a nerd so happy that you're out of it one piece yeah i thought i was here for beef i'm really oh i was like chopper oh you have no idea no i love beef yeah but trust me when i say this me and my wife we have like our list of shows and whenever we get like like a weekend or we get to like binge watch something like that's definitely one we binged and and season two we're gonna watch that it's on our list but like one piece is beyond not just the show like i love the live action show i think it's the greatest tribute like to me the live action is like the best execution of a live action i've seen and they could have really fucked it up and they didn't and that that part is what as a fan it's so nice to see live action get executed the way that netflix has done it that is so nice yeah and they have to do the whole comic which i think is like probably 12 seasons that would be it's my favorite role i've ever done there's a thousand episodes amazing and you know of the cartoon there's a thousand episodes so i never watched over a thousand the cartoon because odison picked me and odis oda picked you is that wait do you know one piece too oh my god i love that i didn't know oda was so deep in the live action oh oh That's amazing. He's he's. Have you met him fully? No, I'm hoping. But he, you know, I just saw an interview that he did where he like every character that's on one piece, he is like, that's his, he does background for the character, like for the actor and sees if, if they have that like energy and soul of the character, which I'm like, it's crazy that he does that. That's why it's good. That's why it's because. Isn't that amazing? The artistic choices. Cause he, he looks at the, each one of, and I'm telling you, each one of those actors are so much like they're in the best way. Like they are in the best way. They're like their characters. Making the show. Did you get to, obviously you, you got to interact with all the, even though you're your part. I went to South Africa. Yeah. Okay. So was it fun? It was so fun. And, and seeing, you know, I had been acting. Off them, but on a big screen, you know, cause they, you know, have the cameras up for me. And so I felt like I already knew them because I'd been working off of them and they were, they're just so lovely. And so it's a really great cast. It's a really good energy and a good group of people. And everyone that works on the show is so passionate about the show and take such care of every little thing, which is so beautiful. Again, this is why I think. That is whether any of them knew about one piece. Some of them probably did. I think you guys all have a sense of like, oh shit, we're doing something really like special here. We're doing something. I didn't even realize what this was. I didn't even know what it was, but I wanted it. So I felt so connected to him and I wanted it. I've never wanted a role like that. I've never been like, Stephanie, talk to them. Did you, did they say anything or are they like, I, and I didn't know why I didn't. I didn't know why when I read the sides for him, why was immediately like, I have to play him because it's that good. The sides were that good. They were that good. And it also felt aligned with who I am. And I'm telling you it's, it's because special is special and we get distracted from special by other information this much money or this much, this or that much, this or that, or this or that. That's so true. The business. Yeah. It's like, Hey kid, you know what I mean? Like, you know, I will say like some of my reps don't know what one piece is and they're like, I try to explain it and they're like, cool, that that's cool. So I, like I said, I didn't know that you were, I thought I was here for me. I am a one piece. So happy. That makes me so ha okay. So, so then I have to ask you as a one piece freak, what do you think of, of, of that? Cause I didn't know anything about chopper going in. I didn't. I think that's perfect. I think that sitting with you makes me really happy that you are chopper. Really? Yeah. Cause you're a really, um, you, you're a kind person. Oh, thank you. And you're smart. And you're like, there's something, there's something edgy about you. That's in like a, an, an unsuspecting way. That's chopper. Really? Yeah. That's chopper chopper is like stronger than you think because people underestimate. Yes. And I love. That about, and that is, I think, well, going back to, is it hard to be a pretty girl when you're trying to get goals that maybe, you know, that's what I meant by that question is not, have you been underestimated? That's the question. Yes. And that's chopper. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And so when I sit with you, it makes me really happy because I didn't care if you knew one piece or not. I'm not that kind of fan. I love one piece. It's not, I don't care if someone is into it or they know about it. Or they don't. I were, I like sharing it cause I love it. Yeah. I just think they've nailed it with the show. I wonder if it is because Oda, I literally just saw this interview where he's like, he's like, I look into everybody's, they all, he's like, yes, the looks have a huge part to do with it with me. Not, not so much, but I will say like, my friends are always like, you're the way that I, they're like, the way you talk is so animated that if you were to put you in a movie, someone would think you were a telenovela. Like it's so over the top and that works for chopper. It's so, I don't feel like I, when I'm playing chopper, I have to like overdo it or do anything. I'm just playing like I would if I was myself. Oh, you're being yourself. Yeah. Yeah. And I think too, chopper has healed so much. And me, I like, I didn't know how much I needed this role. My inner child has been more than therapy could ever do by playing this role. So I have so much gratitude for him and, and for one piece in general. But that's the thing is, is, is, is chopper is not real. Chopper is an idea that a guy came up with because he was making art and he was telling a story that he needed to tell. And that's why I love Oda. And I love the whole world is it's storytelling and art is that art is us telling stories so that people, they don't feel alone. Exactly. And music is that that's what I love about music. All of it. Art is that, and we dismiss art until it's big or whatever. Right. So you get, I get everyone in the art space. We get dismissed until we're not. And so true. You that started, you know, when you came out here, you're 18, the same you, you just have more experience, you have more whatever. But what I'm saying is, is that what I see in the chopper role is you get to be you and they picked you. And the fact that Oda picked you, the guy who created the thing, he's going to make the best choice. He trusts his feeling about something, whatever his process is. I'm going to look in their background, whatever. It doesn't matter. It's a feeling, I don't know why I just liked that one. And I'm just going to stick with how I feel. And then you have the agents and you have this been, you know, that, and they're like, well, what about the one on the marketing says this and the focus groups of that and the blah, blah, blah, right. And you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no. I feel, I think you learn whether it's him or whoever the creator of something within time, there's like this critical moment that happens when we're in the art space, where we create. And we have a feeling and then we share it. And that's, that feeling is agreed on. Someone else has that same feeling. And then we get momentum because we do that again and more people agree. And then we do that again. And then somewhere that becomes a hit of some kind. He had it with his comics and then 20 some years later, it's bigger than it's ever been. That's not, wasn't his plan. You're on your journey and you got to trust that your journey is the right one and that if you just. Become more you and not less you choppers help me and you'll find your path, but I don't think it's about success in the sense of what everyone else thinks. I agree with you a thousand percent. I think you'll have that continue to have that. You've already had it. You've had it, had it again, had it again, but it's more like actually like learning about life. You know what I mean? In my language. Yes. And I, I think that when I am able to play chopper and when I book chopper, I'm able to it felt the most, you know, I always wanted to be like Penelope Cruz or like this, like, you know, Salma Hayek type. And it's like, who knew that the thing that helped me get the closest to myself is this little boy reindeer. But you being you could now, in my opinion, I think you're going to get the Salma Hayek role. I do. I think you're going to get a role. You didn't think you would get. Thank you. Thank you. Being you. Yeah. And I think you in that role will be more entertaining than you trying to be somebody else. And that's what I was trying to do. Yes, exactly. It's like, if I try to be the, when I came on and I was like, what does a rock star do? I think he does that. I'm going to try to be like that guy. And then I'm like, okay, I'm going to do. And then I'm like, no, I'm not very good at being like bad. Yeah. I'm not good at like being too wild. I'm not good at being too drunk. I'm not good at being any of these things. But I had to learn, like, actually, I think I just got to like be this and then I'll be better at it. Yeah. And then at least it's more sustainable for me. And you're actually happy. And I'm happy. I know who I am. Yes. I go, no, I don't like that. Yeah. I tried to be like that. I don't like that. But I'm just saying, like, I think the more we get to be, the more we discover what it means to be us, we go back and we go, oh, I actually think I could. It's not the role. The role. I think if you do the role, you will kill it. If it's you, the chopper role is you nailed it, like nailed it. You got like a hundred. You got a hundred out of a hundred. Like, you know, thank you so much. And I don't know that. I'm sure it was hard work, but it's the easiest role I've ever done. It doesn't feel like a stretch. It did not feel like a stretch. And I feel like every role you do should feel like that. Agreed. It should align. You know? - Yeah, but it's hard because, exactly what you were saying agents and managers and this person are trying to all fit you into this the business the business you gotta make it here's how you gotta do it here's how you gotta shine here no other way but it's yeah it's a thing it's like because you come in here who am i i'm from fucking nowhere yeah you must know better than me i mean and so then you listen to that and you you lose who you are i mean i completely lost who i was and it wasn't until i was like if i don't start experiencing life and loving my life and stop trying so hard to quote unquote make it that's when stuff started happening but you were making it all along that's so nice of you thank you you were making it all along it did not feel like your your your ambition tells you that if i could just get here that's okay we have to kind of know where we're pointing but just also i would say from my perspective you were making it all along you were honing a craft you were learning how this whole thing was the journey yeah it's the journey and listen none of us are satisfied that's part of being in this business though isn't it part of being an artist attracted to this this life we want to be in the game every fucking second every day yep you and that's a good thing we can't deny that about ourselves we also have to trust the process and we have to measure things in relationship to our happiness versus like our what we were told was success when i was 18 was like a platinum record and sold out arenas and that's the only thing that's only that's all there is to it it's all about the process it's good to get that stuff but that can't be the measurement that's not the thing you know there's something about like joy yeah and that's also i mean bringing it back to chopper like i've had more fun playing this role and i also think because it's been so easy and come so natural when i go to work i'm like i'm never like oh i'm nervous or i'm like i'm like i get to be chopper again like it's a different feel than than any other role because it's like there's a part of me that is like it felt it feels just it's so aligned with with who i am and it got to open i mean it like i said it healed so much childhood trauma in me chopper has and and chopper's biggest thing is he doesn't feel seen and so he's trying to make others feel seen and that is my life in a lot of ways and i'm trying to because you never like you never know what somebody's going through in their own personal hell and and that has to do you know with the ocd that i have but i'm i want people to if there's one thing people take away from me i want i always want to make them feel seen and and chopper has that and it's not like i had to like create that for chopper he just naturally had like that's just who he is because of his upbringing and what he went through and the struggles that that he had so being able to play that role and being able to play that role and being able to play a role like this and that's that's why it is so important to me and is so precious and there are people who are like it's just a an ana like a an anime adaptation and they don't take it as seriously as i do and aren't as passionate about it but it's something that has changed my life for the better and that i am i am so passionate about it's why i do conventions like i love doing conventions i love it i take it so seriously because if i had you know i'm obsessed with scary movies and just nicole really yeah it's fucking really fun because she fucking falls asleep to them and i'm stuck watching this goddamn last night she's like there's a really good show i'll start it over if you want something very bad is gonna happen no it's um willow bay or something oh i've heard that's so good okay so first of all i don't know if you've ever watched a scary movie it's a crime drama it is like a scary fucking dark thing she loves scary movies and she's like i oh there's a great new show we can watch it together i'll restart it and i was like i got out of the shower and i was like no no it's fine just finish watching it i'm gonna get ready and then i'll like and and she watches movies in bed i don't i hate tv i don't want a tv in my room really keeps me up oh to watch tv i fucking hate it so she needs tv she fucking hates it i don't want to watch tv i don't want to watch tv i don't fall asleep and then i'm watching this fucking show and i'm like she didn't tell me it was scary she told me it was like a crime drama or something she's like this is a really good thriller i was it's like a thriller and i'm like what does that mean so then i'm watching it and i'm like it's scary it's like there's something in the fog or something and i'm like and then i look over and i was like this isn't a crime drama and i'm like she's asleep and i'm like this happens all the time and then i love her and then i'm like watching it because i want to find out what happens but it's like scary like he's in the basement freaky yeah it's so freaky i want to watch it it's fucking i hate it because it gives me bad dreams it like is not the way i like to go to bed let's watch this babe oh i don't every time and then she falls asleep and you're like i have to to finish it it's the most psychotic thing about her is her movie choices she watches scary movies like rosemary's baby one of my favorite movies of all time uh what else like even the comedies are like fucking dark yeah yeah me too i don't like beetlejuice she loves beetlejuice i'm like it's a little dark and creepy like still like i get like i have an imagination so if something goes in my head when i go to sleep i dream weird dreams whenever she's like can we watch tv because it's kind of like most of the time i'm just like can you watch tv and and then when i come in the room i'm gonna turn the tv off because you'll be asleep and i know she's 15 minutes she's that she couldn't fall asleep that fast let me tell you something when she says let's start a new show i'm like what so i can watch the first episode 10 times it's like a joke like let's start do that together i'm like what so i can watch episode one 10 times 10 days in a row and then what happens is this she's like let's start this is what happened with the first season of beef i watched this first episode 10 fucking times because i get hooked in i'll watch four episodes i'll be up till 2 a.m watching four episodes she's asleep and then the next day i'm on episode like six five or six and she's like are you ready to watch beats again i'm like i'm like i'm like um yeah i'm on episode five oh my god she's amazing she's the worst she's amazing she's the worst are we watching fucking sex in the city again that's the other thing is she watches sex in the city girls fucking um like all these shows she has like these comfort shows and she's like like she's like i'm gonna fall asleep so i'm gonna put sex in the city on and then you have to i know every fucking episode of sex in the city at this point it's very vulgar by the way that show very vulgar so it was girls by the way it's very and adam driver's very mean to her he's very mean i i never got into those shows i need to okay or do i not i don't know but it's either like some girl show or or a scary horrible scary movie that's like like really like disturbing even like american horror story is just like disturbing it's like or do you remember the substance yes she she woke up one night and she like couldn't sleep and she well i'll tell you why she woke up oh because she like fell asleep too early and then like she fell asleep at eight and i was like this is not gonna you're gonna wake up at two and turn the tv on fell back asleep and i woke up to the fucking substance where the like woman is like exploding her face is exploding and i was half asleep and i was like what what's happening talk about lucid dreaming i thought i was like what and she like it was loud that is fucking amazing our marriage tv balance is not great it's not great movie is horrifying it's horrifying i could not imagine waking up and seeing that no with no her face is exploding in like a theater and getting on people and i'm like i was like what what's going on i didn't know no warning i didn't know what movie it was god that's amazing yeah it's it's bad that's a great story our our i would say the most off-balance thing of our relationship is our tv that movie does she like one piece no she's like she's like what she like she would humor me and watch it but she's like freddie cougar it's tough she like scary feminine wow i love her i think she'd like one piece if she gave it a chance yeah because she did get into like game of thrones thrones yeah so i think she would way late though i still haven't watched game of thrones how i know you are i know you know what though i'm jealous because i get to watch you get to experience like eight seasons of great tv yeah that's how i feel about breaking bad or they're like she loves breaking bad i love that's dark too that's i like dark i don't like it at night breaking bad there's a darkness to it right you have such a pierce it just makes me disturbed really yeah wow and it's great i love in theory i love it like it's not that i didn't love breaking bad i did but like it weird it probably triggers you does something to yeah it triggers yeah it's a little dark your body remembers but also that's the testament to the incredible work they did yeah did you get lost in the story you forget you're watching you know i think that brian cranston and aaron are like such a good duo and they cast the show like i don't know they that show is just a great piece of work it's a masterpiece yeah yeah it's one of those masterpiece yeah i think beef is the same way though like i season one of beef i i was i wanted to live in that world even though it was it was uncomfortable and icky i i wanted to i just was so blown away and the same with the second season is the actors on on it like oscar isaac i don't know if you carry mulligan like propel fitness water with gatorade electrolytes zero sugar and vitamins propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self what propels you propel with gatorade electrolytes you know what though they again it's like to me like the great modern television are like really good interesting choices yes and it brings something new like the old we need a we need a big star we need a name always put them on the poster we need to sell tickets the new way is like more artistic and pray to god you're right i think i am i hope so doesn't mean that the big name doesn't like in the right what we i what i think now the modern lessons are like just because the big name doesn't mean it's always going to be like amazing yeah and just because you don't not you don't know that person it isn't going to be amazing do you know what i mean yeah so like it's more to me back to artistic choices where artists make choices of a feeling like i don't know i like this guy there's something about it yeah yeah yeah and there's there's something about i mean that's why you connect to certain certain actors there's something about them on screen they have a to them that that you want to know more and so back to you i think the experience you've had which has been you have a very established career that you should be really proud of thank you the chopper role is it's the first time i went who's that and then i then i realized i knew knew you that i didn't you know what i mean so that's a i love that and then what i think is the chopper role because i'm such a fan of you in that role and i think it's a really good thing that you're in that role i think your world is opening up in a way that you deserve thank you so think that like maybe people were looking at you from the wrong angle agreed and then this is this is going to be really interesting not only to watch this live this this show over the next uh many seasons they do it and chopper's such a great character but also like what people have discovered about you which i think you could see it all along well and you know what's crazy too is right before i had the audition for chopper i was with a uh an acting coach who i was leaving and i turned around and i said to her i just wish i had a different voice i've tried to work on my voice i've for years and i can't get it deeper and i hate my voice so much and and she stopped me and she was like your voice is your calling card your voice is what makes you so you and and and i was like wait really because i nobody had ever said everybody had always said you need to change your voice you need to change your voice you need to deepen your voice you need to and and so i was always trying to do be somebody else and then two weeks later i got the audition not funny for chopper but but you know your your subconscious wanted you to have that conversation it's so beautiful that she said that and that that i was like thank you so i mean i was so taken back did you believe her at the time or did you just kind of go like because she is is an acting coach that i hold i mean you have a lot of respect for her she does everyone and so it was like the fact that she said that and i know that she's not full of shit i was like wow like that means so much and and it did mean so much and and i clearly took it into the next chapter of my life yeah it's funny though because i actually think you're sub our subconscious yeah and then maybe i'm going off too too much here but no i like this i like i think i like what you're about i think our subconscious is really wise and knows and a little psychic yes and the subconscious knows when it's time yeah to put something to bed to do something to learn something to fix something and it leads us whether we realize it or not so we think we're frustrated it's actually our subconscious poking us i think in that moment your subconscious is like okay get it out say it i hate my voice why am i never going to be taken seriously why is no one ever going to see this talent because of the voice and the this is the me that's received information things this is the me that has received i say this too for everyone listening for people listening that are like you think you're frustrated about something about yourself but what if it's one of your greatest attributes and you're looking at it all wrong and what if we need to go all the way around to get back to that so what if if you had discovered that you love your voice when you were 18 when you were 21 when you were 23 would you love it as much as you do now no you know what i mean yeah what if it was all so that you would actually cherish yourself as much as you do in this moment in your life right now that's what i think when i go why did it take me so long to get all the way to here what if i was always supposed to just be on that yeah but it took me so long to realize that all of us all of us why why when you wait why at 40 do things seem because people people tell especially women they're like oh 40 like i mean people told me like you haven't made it by 40 what are you doing like why are you still around that's the biggest load of bullshit it couldn't be i was after 40 i was like oh i just started living but i'll tell you why you look like you're fucking 29 oh thank you because you're happy you think you i promise you you look older when you're not happy yeah everyone says like how do you do that how do you do that i'm like why you and nicole look so young i don't even know if we look young i think we're just i think we just like are comfortable in our own skin we're not fighting against anything we're not trying like we're not trying to be the biggest this or trying to be like we just are where we are is it are we perfect or is it figured out all figured out no but we like like each other so nice to hear that that exists in hollywood though it does but it starts with you just liking yourself but that's rare too in hollywood i think so because it's such a business of scrutiny like how do you look oh you better get this you better get in shape it's i mean it's you're not tall enough you're not pretty enough you're not this enough it's it's it's constantly for the last 20 years it's been i mean you'd have it's it's there's a bit of insanity insanity it's insanity like why would i put myself through that for so long why why would i keep going but i think there was something that i always knew keep going it's gonna it'll happen you know it'll you you'll your talent will well it's happened big time for you oh thank you but i also think you that it's part of your like your your growth and your journey your journey with all of it i think it's just like the timing is like true to itself yeah because like i don't know if i would like your story if it was any other way that's really nice you know what i mean yeah there's only a couple more things i want to ask about i know you're tight with uh james gunn he's been very like it's like my older brother yeah right two decades yeah i think those people are also like so important to our direction our growth our do you know what i mean he was my first call when i booked one piece that i just said someone in the end you know said and he said your life just changed but he saw it you guys have collaborated a bunch yeah and like you guys see that in each other that to me is like those people the people that see us there's a few people like that in my life that like saw me the whole way i would say my therapist is actually one of them too like i feel like he's like he saw me when i first came in and sat on his couch and he was like you could be a lot more than i love him you know what i mean i was like what do you mean a lot more i'm fucking rock star he's like yeah he's like that ain't what it's about and then like a year or two later i was like now i know what it's about it has nothing to do with this this is all just what we do you know the work is work we're gonna work on stuff and impress people because it looks like we're doing a magic trick when you do chopper it looks like a magic trick to the rest of us we're like whoa oh my god how do you do that just being yourself and you're like i think i can jump over that hoop i think i can climb that mountain you have the stuff but like it's something else it's like this it's like who who am i that's the actual like journey so why do you think that so many because you sit with so many people that why do you think there is a like why do you think actors and musicians and it's never enough like why is it is it a a hole that that we're trying to constantly fill is it a is it a validation is it insanity is it why is it never wow okay you know that's it's enough and when does it become enough my perspective i think self-esteem most of us come in with a wounded self-esteem thousand percent like most all of us all of us you can't be in this without it and then we get we overcompensate when we get success it turns kind of into a bit the self-esteem never gets fixed so we we kind of get this inflated self-esteem so that we can hold our our own in the role because we don't feel like we're good enough like imposter syndrome right so we just inflate ourselves so we either become assholes or whatever that gets mixed up with the love for what we do because we are artists and we do love what we do yes so those things get mixed up because i still want to write songs and i still want to create but if having a hit is the only thing that makes me happy it's the only thing that makes me happy it's the only thing that makes me happy if it's special and good enough then i always have to have a hit yeah you can't live like that that can't because then the art gets it's not pure anymore because we're thinking about the hit exactly and we're not thinking just about the art and the art when we started was just expression yes and so if what we have to do is separate the art from the result and the result has to be measured later way later not on release day but more like uh one day i'll look back on the on that and see if i thought that was a success or not because a hit movie doesn't always mean it's good success for you you could have a hit movie and it could be the worst thing that ever happened to you because you got pigeonholed into this one thing and you didn't even know why you did it because your agent talked you into it and then everyone's like oh it's a hit and you're like why don't i it's exciting but i also don't like fucking feel great about it because i don't care about it when there's this thing over here so it's weird because like if that's the only measurement that is success that it's a hit don't think that's a true thing because it's a success true measurement because what defines a hit is usually numbers and numbers don't relate to feelings and how we feel is more something like i'm happy yes and that feels like success we have to separate them and then we also have to understand our self-esteem and then if what you have is not dumb luck what i have is not dumb luck we put our we aimed up and we started going towards it and however long it took us to get there we never stopped and that's where when people are the people that are listening that are working through some problem in their life because everyone is the idea that it's worth it to try and get back up and try again and try it's the most important thing and you will get there so to me us talking about our experience it connects them in they hear you talk and they relate to a person and they realize like it's not not just a pretty girl but but i do think there was a broken ness in us that kept us at it like if you are just a uh which god bless you if your life has just been amazing and perfect and happy home life and all of that stuff but i do think there is something about this business that attracts uh a certain type of trauma and and damage and and so you know we we get into it and then we kind of go the long way like you're saying of like discovering who we are and and figuring out that that trauma and why why we need that external validation and what that is the last thing i'll say and i live my life by this at some point i realized it the check is there you're gonna pay it so even the person that everyone thinks has it easy or maybe it's if you don't dig in and do some work somewhere in your life and all of us have a different place some of us it might be our inner work because we have some trauma some people don't have trauma but some people it might be their work work they're not digging in and building anything some people it might be their relationships some people it might be their health whatever it is if you don't dig in and work on yourself in some way shape or form you can run away from it your whole life somewhere you will have a check that you have to pay some people it's health for all of us and it's they you know it's it's some people it's their relationship so if you're not being if you're not investing in your kids and spending time with your kids it will come back to you it'll it'll the check will be there and what i realized was like oh i gotta do the work so i just want to get up every day and just try to pay the check everywhere i can you know and some days better than others some some areas better than others but like that's my mantra because i don't want to get to a spot in my life where the bill is too big and i can't pay it whatever i'm running away from everybody has that somewhere in their life you know you're right every single one of us all of us yeah it doesn't matter who you are but thanks for coming on i'm so grateful this was wonderful for me thank you thank you for listening to this episode of artist friendly you can also watch the episodes on spotify spotify premium users get 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