Midseason Fantasy Awards, Bears Bully Seahawks, Stupid Court, Fantasy Court, and Songs We Irrationally Hate

On today's episode of the Ring Your Fantasy football show, we bask in the bears beating the brakes off the Seahawks. We're going over midseason awards and power hour, biggest winners, biggest losers, waver wire heroes, boring guys who are crushing it and the guys that we hyped up a lot that suck. And of course, the return of Stupid Court. And then we have a Stupid Court spin off where we argue about Nikola Yokich playing quarterback for like a really long time. All that and more after the break. This episode is presented by Verizon. Let me tell you all about Verizon's new simplicity plan. You get one plan, one price, just $30 a line per month, even for a single line. So while everyone is running four trade analyzers before offering a backup tight end, Verizon said one plan, one price. And the simplest move is the best one, like the simplicity plan. Head to Verizon.com today. For new customers who switched to Verizon, $30 per line includes auto pay and switch discount, additional taxes, fees, and terms apply. Welcome to the ringer fantasy football show. My name is Danny Heifetz. And I'm joined by Danny Kelly and Kurt Quill back in today in his power hour, where every Wednesday we power rank something. Today, we are power ranking midseason awards. It's not really a power ranking, it's just for doing awards in the order of how cool we think the award is. But whatever, it's an order of a thing, it's like a ranking, right? Yeah. We can do what we want. Yeah. Every two minutes it'll change categories, so it's essentially like a power. Look, we're drinking beer the whole time, all right? That's the whole point. First we have to get to Monday Night Football. Obviously it's Wednesday. We have to talk about Monday Night Football. TKCUX got shellacked by the Chicago Bears. They are the main character of the season. They traded for Jeffrey Simmons and then they beat the COX 34 to 17. Beat the frickin brakes off the Seahawks man. That was the worst Seahawks loss in 30 games, they haven't lost by more than four points in 30 games. And you guys defending Super Bowl champions, prisoner of the moment, I think are the Bears the Super Bowl favorites straight up? They sure look like it, yeah. I would probably put them in the 49, like the two most balanced teams right now in the NFC. Yeah, we were talking with Nikhil, our producer, who is a huge Bears fan. And he was like, should I expect that the Bears win the Super Bowl now? Yeah. And I was like, I think you're at the point where it's Super Bowl appearance or bust, I would say. If you don't make the Super Bowl. That's what the first one picks her for. I mean, yeah, it is. Yeah. You need to make the Super Bowl, I think otherwise it's a disappointment. I totally agree. Once you make the Super Bowl, it's like the whole goal is to get there and frankly from there on, it's like what happens happens up to the football gods and the small margin details. They have the best odds. I know the second best odds in the NFC right now, bills are favored to win the Super Bowl still, Niners are second and the Bears are third. But the Bears are a Super Bowl or a bust team. DK, there's so many things about it. One, Jeffrey Simmons, it actually reminded me so much of the Bears getting Cleo Mack back in the day. I know that that was not midseason, but it was late in the season. So it felt kind of like an in-season trade. And it felt like it felt transformative. Jeffrey Simmons honestly dominated the first two or three drives to the Bears against the C-OX. And then they just started doubling Jeffery Simmons and then everyone else started wreaking havoc. And I can't remember a trade where the thesis of the trade played out so immediately throughout a game, which is Jeffrey Simmons will dominate one-on-one. And then when teams dominate him, everyone else will get better and then it makes the blitz is more effective. And then it completely transformed the Bears defense. I force multiplayer. This is the definition of a force multiplier. The wired thing was Miles Garrett and Aaron Donald coming back for the Rams and the wired one is them getting Simmons. I mean, Simmons was an absolute frickin' force. The poor Grace Able had to move to right guard and then got absolutely dominated for like the entire first half. That was kind of a tough one. You know that story I always tell about how the refs at Trading Camp left watching Aaron Donald beat all the guards in practice? That's what that looked like. That Grace Able, Jeffrey Simmons rep, like we're in the 99th. He looked like Aaron Donald on that point. Also just the bright orange, like arm, like under armor or whatever it was. He's not even hiding out there. Yeah. I'll tell you exactly where I am. You could always see where he is. That's how do I go? Apparently he does that because his daughter says he can't find him on the game so he wears the brain. That's very sweet. That's very sweet. I couldn't, I mean the stats back it up too, not that you need the stats to see how good Jeffrey Simmons was. He had a sack. He really had two sacks because what I got called back for a penalty on Grady Jare for face mask. But he had all the other sacks the Bears had. Was hockey assist from Jeffrey Simmons, like everything was kind of about him honestly. There's so many things about this game I want to talk about. But DK, I thought the big headline to me with this was, the Bears were more physical. Then this was on both sides of the ball, which was really shocking to see. Yeah. They outseahawks, the Seahawks. There was that hit early on on Horton over the middle of the field that was kind of a tone setter type hit. I mean, they hit on Darnal when he was sliding. Yeah. I mean, that should have been a penalty for sure, but like he was trying to avoid it. He did it with his kidneys. Of course, of course, you're the one who's going to defend them, not call it. No. You want a flag? You rest guy wants a flag. I mean, whether he was half way into his life, it's that fucking black and white. I want a flag when it's an obvious hit to the head of the quarterback when he's sliding. He literally, that's fine, but it was, he, I've never seen someone hit it. I was happy overall that the rest kind of hit them with. He hit him in the head. I don't know. It's anything. I don't know. Let's watch. This is ridiculous. Anyway, the point is the Bears were absolutely a more physical team. I mean, I think the Seahawks, that is like one of their, their key tenants is they're really physical. They tackle. I didn't think they tackled, especially well, especially in the first half. The Bears kept getting extra yards after the catch or extra yards once they hit contact. They just looked, man, they just looked really, really good. I haven't seen an offense do this to the Seahawks really with that much ease since last year when the Rams did it and that's like the only other team that's done it in the last two years. They were hitting explosives. They were guys wide open down the field. They protected Caleb. Caleb was taking the easy stuff. Andy was hitting the hard stuff down the field. He was alluding pressure. I was just incredibly, incredibly impressed with the Bears. Obviously, I came in like really confident that the Seahawks defense would be kind of what they looked like against the chiefs last week where they'd kind of make it into a slog fest. And then who knows? They would be like a low scoring game. Hopefully the Seahawks come out in front. But I mean, the Bears offense, absolutely dominated the game. There's the Bears defense is really good. I've got a lot of concerns about the Seahawks offense in general, but yeah, I want to talk with the Seahawks offense in a second, but the Bears deserve the beginning. I think it was a low scoring game until Leonard Williams left the game for Seattle. I think this was a game of how important defensive tackles are among anything else. Like Jeffrey Simmons was transformative. I think it's like the best ones in the NFL right now are probably Dexter Lawrence, Leonard Williams. And I mean, you will see where Aaron Donald knits out to, you know what I mean? Like, obviously, there's great defensive tackles in the NFL. Jeffrey Simmons is right there. I thought the Bears had 13 points and then Leonard Williams left the game and then the Bears scored touchdowns in three of their next four drives. He had a stinger. So that probably isn't long term, but I was surprised how much the Bears just, it's not knife through butter. But like the first drive they had was a touchdown drive, but it was 17 plays 80 yards needed a fourth down. So yeah, that was a, that was a tone setting drive. And then there, but then there were a lot of punts. Leonard Williams leaves the game. And suddenly the Bears can just run on Seattle. And suddenly all the, oh, we'll stop the run with six guys. It doesn't work anymore because you don't have these two guys that both need double teams in, you know, obviously you have Leonard Williams. And then you have, oh, now the Byron Murphy. And so I thought it really was interesting. And Ben Johnson is out here doing crazy shit, like having Caleb Williams line up. Was that in trips, motioning, and then they ran like the, like a half version of the Philly special. Yeah, I was really special, but for an explosive play, which is like very Ben Johnson, like I want 18 yards instead of eight. And the other thing, the Bears offense, it was every facet, even special teams, like they blocked a kick, which is something that we have to never do against Seattle. So I don't know. I know it's easy to look at the prime time game, but I really do think the Bears are the best team in the NFC now. I know that's present at the moment, but you look at what the Bears did in week one. Now you have Caleb healthy. The offense looks unbelievable. And then now look defense looks like this. The special teams are pretty good. I kind of do think they're going to win the NFC. I think the best team in the NFL. I mean, I probably put them in number one. What's kind of crazy is like the Bears have only really played four games with Caleb Williams. It's like it's like I haven't even, because he played week one, and then week two was that Minnesota rainy, crazy game, and he got hurt. And then he's only had three games back. So it's pretty remarkable how good this offense looks already. Really only four games into Caleb Williams in the second year with Ben Johnson. And now you're seeing all these pieces come together. It's like, everyone's kind of settling into their role. Like the Colston Loveland thing is like officially back, Luther Burden is working Roma dunes. They have like a great game and kind of looked like what we thought he would look like. They're able to run the ball at the Andre Swift. And like the play calling hyphids, what you just mentioned, the weird stuff that's having Caleb start outside. It's like what Mike McDaniels tries to do in LA, but it works and the offense is actually coordinated. It understands how to do it, because there's a lot of complicated stuff that the Bears do like that cool play at the goal end, where they pretended to run the same play twice. And they were all acting, saying run the same play, run the same play. It was a different play, which was the Luther Burden one year touchdown. Everybody thought it was going to be a run. Like they are doing pretty like team wide organized one hive mind stuff, which is really impressive considering basically their fourth game with Caleb this year. And they always have. It's cool. When you can do it when it's awesome. When Mike McDaniels tries to do in the charges and you don't have any wins, it's stupid. The chiefs can do ring around the rows against the Raiders when you've went to see this role. That's far out of about that. with Ben Johnson, you have the most 30-point games in a row ever, whatever, like when it works really cool when you're crushing it. I think they're also really fun team to root for straight up. I just think that everybody on the Bears, it's really fun team. I didn't like playing them. It's sure not a fun experience for me. I'll put it that way. Speaking of people, I mean, it's easy to say Ben Johnson's a great coach. Dennis Allen, who we've made a lot of fun of as a head coach, and I mean, mostly for just hating Kendrick Miller, as the states had coach. Dennis Allen's done an unbelievable job with his team because, you know, I think I said a thousand times this year, I thought the Bears had the worst fronts of having a vetting team trying to win the Super Bowl by far. And now that's not true. The secondary looked even, I mean, Cam Lewis, Dylan Tiniman, who we all loved before the draft was one of the most popular prospects. Jalen Johnson being back, Kyler Gore, and this was secondary crazy banged up to begin the year. They were signing safeties and playing them and like, I think 10 days before the season. And now it's like, oh, everyone's like healthy-ish, except for the league Muhammad. Anyway, I just, I was very impressed and it was the rarest thing of all, which is like the whole, it felt like the whole plan came together. And in week A on Monday to football against the defending champs, and they kind of beat the crap out of them. So, I thought that was a really, really well coach game by the Bears. And, you know, you can kind of see, frickin, uh, Ben Johnson, he's got that kind of serial killer crazy look at his eye at all times, like he's such a good, he's such an intimidating opposing coach. He is the only coach with like the Michael Jordan mindset. I swear. Yeah. He is wired differently than any other head coach in the league, I think. I thought they had a really great game plan against the Seahawks, obviously, and that played out. They executed it perfectly against the Seahawks. They shut them down. They shut the Seahawks down on early downs. They were kind of like run blitzing and then putting on a lot of pressure. The Seahawks couldn't get into any of their, uh, play action stuff. Like, there was a couple of sacks. The Seahawks tried to run a play action fake on first down a couple times and got sacked. Like, they were just anticipating everything. And then Ben Johnson, as he's done for the last couple of years, seemed to just have the perfect play call at the perfect time. That, that, uh, very late in the game when the Seahawks had the Bears and third and whatever it was third and five, and then there was a fault. There was a, they did a late of game, but the Seahawks had them. It was like, they let the play kind of go. It was a tackle in the backfield. And then the very next play, third down, basically the key, the crew, the most crucial play of the game. They did this little, you know, tunnel screen to Khalif Raymond. And he gained like 30, 40 yards or whatever it was. And now it's just like the final nail on the coffin for the Seahawks. The Seahawks did, you know, to their credit, have a couple opportunities to get back into this game and potentially win it. But the Bears just came up with big plays every time. Um, exactly. So I thought the Bears were really, really impressive. Um, yeah. On that, on that note, DK, I think the Seahawks offense also look concerning in this game. And I think we have to start with this was the first game where I felt like, okay, this offense is way, way too reliant on Jackson, Smith and Jacob Superbowl. This was the game, you realize that? Yeah, yeah. Well, when they flashed the graphic at halftime that JSN had 92 receiving yards at halftime and the rest of the Seahawks combined had two receiving yards. Yeah, that was actually literally the moment. I'm like, they can't win. They will not, they might not make the NFC shape. Again, 40% of their offensive yards has a player one single player. Well, that's the problem is he, which is the record. Yeah, the Superbowl and the three person who had the only person who had a higher percentage of a team's yards than JSN through half of his season was Lance Allworth, which was, that was the AFL. That was pre-mergered. Like, that was an upstart football league. Like, that doesn't count. Yeah. The most ever. And I think the number went up last night. So like, now you're talking about pushing 60% of the CRTR through JSN. And guess what? He had one catch in the second half and the catch shouldn't have counted. He dropped it. They were down 17. It didn't even matter. And he dropped it. He had no catches in the second half, really. And the Seahawks couldn't move the ball. And like, you got your Darian price back. I actually think he has juice. Sherbin A looked like a stick in the mud, but like, you know, hey, you know, it's his first game back from ACL. I don't know, DK, like, I'm really, I was really concerned watching this game for the offense in a way that Sam Darnell has to push in a way that you, he has a few moments of brilliance every game. But you're, you're, the Seahawks are now very vulnerable to Darnell has to make shit happen. Darnell needs to be in a balanced offense. It can't pass. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Darnell exactly. He's not like a, he's not particularly a quarterback built a play from behind. He's not Joe Burrow where you're like throwing 45 times and come back will be fine. And then you can see that in the second half the Seahawks though. I mean, they're freaking running on first and second down, down 17 or 10 or whatever it was, late, late in the fourth quarter and the crowd started booing. It's pretty, yeah, it's pretty telling. You know, people have, people are kind of freaky out in Seattle right now about Bryan Flurry, the new offensive coordinator. But to me, it's, it's more than just him. It's, it's, just a lack of, it's basically the JSN stat is really, really glaring right now where you don't have a good second skill player. Like a, look, think about all the best teams that I felt. Look at the freaking bears. They had Roman doons. They making huge plays. Luther Bird making huge plays. The Andre Swift making huge plays. Lovelin making huge plays. They've got like four or five guys that can make a big play for them. And you look at some of the other teams in the NFL and NFC. The 49ers are the other like top team. They've got Krishmckhaffrey, Kittle, Evans, and Debo. The Seahawks have JSN. And that's it. Like, who else do they have? Like, price is kind of exciting, but he's fumbled. He fumbled. Then he got hurt. Now, he's fumbled. Sharbin, he's, Sharbin, he's back. And he's probably not going to be 100 percent. Those guys aren't different makers. Yeah. So the players, but the problems are different makers for whatever reason, outside of JSN are just riddle and harder to lie out. Like, Rashid. It was supposed to be Shaheed, but he has not really stepped up in that role. Hasn't done anything. And even in special, like, I think you, I think you feel when he's not in the game for special teams, but he's not really done anything on offense. And it's funny. It's a few million a year. The Seahawks saying, I know we talk about them trading for like a running back and whatnot. And you were happy that they got Quentin Nelson. I wonder if they're in the market for a wide receiver. Like a Brian Thomas might be smart to go to Seattle. I think Brian Thomas might be good. Josh Downs might be good. He's open quickly other than JSN. I don't know if Josh Downs exactly fits what they want to do with how they want to run the ball. Obviously, he has like five foot eight, but I think you have to kind of just figure that out. Because Josh Downs can get open quickly. And like, that makes JSN. Like, that will just work when you have JSN. I think that that's because they just who is getting a third down for this team when they just decide to double JSN because it's not to worry Wharton. It's not a super cup once again. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Cooper cups 33 years old. He's 30. Yeah. He's been, I mean, he's been washed for years. His best value to the Rams last season was making Pukka Tuku a stop eating jack in the box. Like, I, it's, so I think looking at this DK, I'm curious. I think like five days ago, I asked you, who do you least want to see in the NSE Championship game ranked them out of Rams, Niners and CS and Mirrors? You put the Bears last solely because they had, you had not seen them play the CS. Well, yeah, it's more or less out of disrespect to the Bears, the more just I have deference to the Rams before the Tigers. They're very like great competitors, but after this game, after this game, I'm like, I don't ever want to fucking see Ben Johnson again. You know what I mean? Like Caleb, Caleb Williams was surgical. The run game was awesome. And again, like I said, the only other coach, I think really that's just picked apart the CEO's defense. In the last two years. And so sort of last year is McVeigh. And so I put Ben Johnson on that level, really. And honestly, I think he's a better play caller than Sean McVeigh. I think Johnson's doing a way better. He's definitely more forward thinking and sort of, aggressive, I think, in certain situations and the way that they run the plays. The Sean McVeigh is kind of old-school in a lot of ways. McVeigh gives, maybe we had a great email from Got him Carter that I actually was wondering if it should be a take perch, but I'm going to say it now. So Carter emailed in and was like, Sean McVeigh should be the Rams play designer, but not their play caller. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think that's actually might be something to that. Sean McVeigh will give up the, get stops running the ball at a light breeze. Ben Johnson will run the ball on 37, if you think he's going to go for it on fourth down. I'm like the discipline, it's not just designing plays, it's sequencing. McVeigh is as good of a designer as anyone, but he gives up on certain principles during, if they're not working in a way that Ben Johnson just, just feels like he never misses. So you're a bear's friend. And to kill here does a lot of our social stuff is just is a bear's fan. He's over the moon. I've never, well, he killed. I'm so happy for you. He said before the show my life's perfect. The other thing I wanted to mention, if it's you said, who would I rather face in the NFC championship game? Brother, I just want to make the playoffs at this point. The Seahawks are actually a kind of a coin flip for inner out of the playoffs, according to some models. I saw the ESPN model has Seahawks at like 49%. The athletic has them at 52%. The Fandall, they're minus one 36 to make the playoffs. So, I mean, that's crazy. The NFL or the MCI should say is pretty stacked. You got, you have all the teams in the NFC North are potentially going to be threatening for the playoffs. You have the Seahawks Rams 49ers. Seahawks are almost certainly not going to catch 49ers at this point. They're six in court. The Cardinals and Raiders coming up and they have, when those games go six and four to the buy, then you've two weeks to prepare for the 49ers. Seahawks still have to play the Rams twice. They still have to play the 49ers once. I'm not, I'm not like counting the Seahawks out by any means. Again, their defense is awesome and they have had these crisis to faith in the past, but I mean, they've already lost the same amount of games they lost last year. You're a superl team. You should be fighting for the one seed, not for the playoffs. Right. And they just take the shit out of the chiefs and we were like, holy shit. No, I know. And in a hundred percent, like a lot changes in a week, the vibes change a lot in a week. But at the end of the day, four losses, it's going to be hard in a really competitive NFC. I was going to move on, but I will just say the last point Craig just made about they kick the shit out of the chiefs. I do think that fundamentally, though, that's what, like the biggest picture Mike McDonald first, Ben Johnson. I think we'll be seeing that again. It's, it's, they're wiping out old coaches, like it's an extinction event for the old coaches dying off. It's like Sean Payton, Andy Reed. I am dubious, like the defensive version to that Ben Johnson just destroys. And the offensive version that Mike McDonald just, Andy, like Andy Reed, these guys have been around for 30. years like Mike McDonald like atomizes what they're trying to do. And I think Ben Johnson's like that for defense. And so it's it's interesting to see the other quick thing I wanted to say about this game before move on is just I love it when a really good player who's been on a bad team his whole career goes to a good team like Jeffrey Simmons. Jeffrey Simmons is about to be so much more famous now that he is with Caleb Williams and on the Bears like I bet you there was a lot of casual NFL fans that didn't even really know his name Jeffrey Simmons right I debated with the trade doing who is this guy because how many people really know him and I kind of we probably should have done it. Yes and watch that first sack he had where he like grabbed Arnold's like jersey and just like ripped him to the ground. He's got his like giant orange sleeve on you're like holy shit. Yeah. The physique of Jeffrey Simmons alone is like jumps off the street. He's going to become three times more famous than he's ever been. The Ranger Fantasy football show is brought to you by Fandall Thurston at football just got a little more rewarding with the Fandall rewards club with Fandall rewards club you can unlock exclusive offers throughout the NFL season including Thurston at football. We're talking profit boost promotions and more ways to get rewarded on the matchups you're already watching and as you were in points and eligible settled bets winner lose you can level up and unlock even bigger rewards with Fandall rewards club. Thurston at football the Jaguars are playing the Baltimore Ravens who are down not only Lamar Jackson but also Tyler Huntley who has Turf Toe so Joey Fignano is going to play this game on Thursday night and somehow even though the Ravens are home the line of this game is only nine and a half and maybe I'm missing something but first of the Jaguars have a great run defense. Derek Henry's been fine the Ravens offensive lines banged up. I don't think you can ever count on an offensive line being dominant on a Thursday. I know it's the Ravens in their home but the line should probably be like 15. This guy is also an injured undrafted rookie who was a former walk on at Maine who's never played in the NFL and he's not even getting 10 points from the Jaguars who like could make the Super Bowl. So I'm going to go ahead and take the Jaguars to win by double digit points. I don't know what I'm missing. Who cares that they're home the fans are going to leave this freaking game in the mid-adaptive. So before Thursday football kicks off head to the Fandall app and check out what's available for your level. Make this your most rewarding season ever with Fandall 21 plus select states or 18 plus and DC or Wyoming opt in required refund and bonuses issued as non-lustrable bonus bets or tokens restrictions apply. See terms for all offers at sportsbook.fandall.com gambling problem called 1-800 gambler called 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org/chat in Connecticut. Okay let's get to power our mid season awards. We're doing I don't also I don't hear anyone being like well there's 17 weeks so it's like is that we isn't really mid seasons it's week it's mid season. Are people saying that? I feel like no one's actually saying that. Everyone's hating on it. Who has said that to you? Do you get like I was chanting it. I'm like next week we're doing the trade deadline. It's really easy. So we're going to do mid season awards now. So we're going to go through them and we'll see. I like kind of know he gets picked but not really so we'll go through and we're just going to go through some categories. Start if you have two minutes on the clock for these are three. Two two minutes. But if we ignore it then it becomes meaningless. Who cares? We have to stick one by. Yeah, buy by it. All right well then fine two minutes on the clock starting with DK who is the biggest winner of the fantasy season through eight weeks. I think it comes out to two players. Jermir Gibbs or Jackson within jigba and probably lean JSN just based on not not only you didn't have to have the first overall picked to get him but he is averaging just looking at what he's doing relative to every other receiver. It's pretty crazy. He's averaging five more points per game than the next closest number two receiver who is Puka Nakua. He scored 50 total more points than Puka Nakua has this year. Sorry then the number two receiver which is not Puka. He's he missed a couple games. So he only has one game less where he scored fewer than 19 points in a game. That was a week. Say that again. He scored 19 or more in every game except for one which he scored 10. So he's been absolutely really consistent and he's just lapping the field at receiver and you couldn't and you didn't need the top pick to get him. It's splitting hairs. It's probably one A1B. It can only be these two. But I think it's in jigba as well. Like he's having the best wide receiver season like ever and he's the only player in the he's like truly feels inevitable. Like you go into every game. Defensive coaches are doing the same thing we're doing. How do we stop JSN? He's the only above average player on the Seahawks and they came. He had 118 yards in a touchdown last night. Even when he's irrelevant he's putting up 100 yards in a touchdown in the game. It's it's unstoppable. Like his bad game is at least a touchdown. It's yeah like last night was a bad game. Yeah he had 118 yards in a touchdown. I think it's JSN as a tiebreaker one because junior gives us the first pick. Most people didn't have a chance to get to get to get. Most people didn't have a chance to get JSN. And the other reason you know what a weird thing is both of them have the same stat where the gap between first and second place is as big as the gap between second and 14th at the position. That's not true for both of them. They both have as really big a gap between them two and two and 14. Like again I said just pure points like the points are really what matter here. He scored 50 more points in CD-Lamb who has the second most points that receiver. And again it's at some point it's emotional. It's like looking JSNs they'll be fine. JSNs awesome. All right biggest loser of the fantasy season so far correct. It's say Juan Barkley. Seven snaps say Juan. It is. It just is. And I know you're thinking maybe it's the chargers but none of the charges really went that high. Mary and Hampton will get to him later. Say Juan Barkley is the only first rounder that killed you. Literally every single one of them is playing pretty well. Save Justin Jefferson maybe a little bit but he was fringe. Every other first rounders had like a very good season so far. And say Juan has has trapped you now in this sticky goo of like every week he's technically going to play and he's going to get 12 snaps but he's had a touchdown in each of the games and you don't know what you do and the season long outlook is terrible but you have like the Stockholm syndrome where he's just going to be on the shitty team for the rest of the season and he's going to gut through every game even though he's hurt. He's playing 19 snaps at game. That's less than someone named DJ Herman on the dolphins who plays 20. He's running back. DJ Herman is playing more snaps for game than say Juan. And yet you still have no way that's right. You still have to play him in fantasy so I don't know what you do. You heard me and I've never heard of this guy. Who is that holy shit. He's a full bag. He plays 20 snaps at game. Say Juan was 19. That's amazing. All right. Well that's that that's the short list just out of the year. Wow. I was going to try and zag. I was going to try and zag and say it's Hampton but say Juan's actually scored fewer points per game than Hampton. That is horrifying. And he's been hurt. He's misgames. And again, like there's no, you're just stuck with him. It's the other thing Craig said too that if you go back and look at your draft like who else could I have had. And you're like, oh my god Ken Walker or like JSN or Amonra. Amonra. Hampton, it's like, oh, then it's like maybe you took camped over like Chase Brown or AJ Brown or like you know what I mean Nico Collins, people who were like, oh, like maybe my season would be over anyway. Many people took sake one over like James Coker Amonra. Yes. And then you're just like crushed. And I think that is why it has to be. Also watching him two weeks at a row in prime time play great and then be in and out of the game is like like spiritually. It's just hurtful. Also eight to eight to miss two weeks. Very likely chance that like they just shut him down the last month to the season in your whole years screwed. So watching him's physically painful. Okay. Wave or wire winner of the year so far. Dika. This is the guy we haven't really talked about a lot but Braille and Alan for the Jets. Yeah. He looks incredible. He is he on the season. He's the RB 17 season RB nine since he took over as the starter ahead of Breeze Hall. And he's been I mean, it's to the point now people were like they should they might as well just trade Breeze Hall literally. He looks like that he should be their starter. I mean, I still really like Breeze Hall but Braille and Alan brings the element of physicality, run you over run like run after contact. He's decent in the passing game. He hasn't done a ton of the passing game but he can catch the ball. And I don't know. He's just awesome. He's just been really, really surprisingly good. And he's still very young. He looks like a guy that can build their run game around in a long term. It just makes sense that they might want to trade Breeze now before he gets just extended in this off season. But I agree. You know, it's so funny. Braille and Alan again, he's like there's the Colts running back Seth McAllen that if the Colts trade Jonathan Taylor, Seth McAllen will be the starter. He's a rookie. He's like three years older than Braille and Braille and Alan 22. Yeah. He was the youngest player to ever enter the NFL, wasn't he at one time? He was up there. Yeah, down there. But yeah, underdog had this great stat that Braille and Alan has more 100 rushing 100 yard rushing games this year than B. John Robinson, Jonathan Taylor, Derrick Henry, Saquon, obviously Ash and Gentie, Scataboo, Quinshunt, Junkins, Javante, Karen Williams. He's only really been playing like five weeks. The last four weeks Braille and Alan's a top six running back in fantasy. If Breeze Hall gets traded, it's pretty rare. I mean, Breeze Hall is like what, 25 years old and is good. It's pretty crazy that Braille and Alan has come in and has played so well. They're like, all right, see you later, Breeze Hall. He's probably bringing the price down for Jonathan Taylor because if you the private Sean Payton might want Breeze Hall too, you know what I mean? Breeze Hall is under contract for three more seasons. The other person I want to mention for a waiver wire person in the year, there was Kirk Cousins, who is the number fourth and just points at fantasy football. He isn't at a buy week, but he is the fourth most points. And you can argue whether he hasn't at a buy. All right, but that's also good. He just has the first one. Oh, he's scoring points for you. It's the bottom line. Yeah. Also shout out all the Gordon top 20 running back since he started playing. Yeah. That one was really out of left field too because you're like, if HN can't do anything in this offense, how's Gordon? and he looks really good, man. He's downhill physical runner. - And we had a better game. But he started screaming at the other team and then they had to, you seem like, well, let's be like, yeah, they asked him. What happened with Ali Gordon? He was like, yeah, I was dead as wrong. And I had to tell him he was dead as wrong. He was like defending a 15 year flag, which actually really actually mattered in the game. Okay, totally over hyped guy who actually delivered. I think this has to be Christian Watson for the Packers. We hyped him up, a lot of people hyped him up, but we were a little dangerously in on a guy with hamstring injuries. Christian Watson is the number three receiver in scoring this season. Literally, he's third. - Yeah, I got to give credit to you guys. You guys were really all over this. I was a little bit worried about him and he's been incredible. He's been, and you guys pointed out all this sort of step. This is like how it always works in fantasy. It's like, if you look at a small sample or a smaller sample and kind of try to extrapolate it to a full season, you know, when Craig, what was the step that you would always, when he would play more than 75% snaps in the game, I think he was like a top seven wide receiver. - Yeah, and it's like low and behold, that fucking held on and it's been awesome. He's also just like by the eye test, he's incredible. - That was why I didn't care about the statistical arguments for Watson. I just couldn't believe when he came back from the ACL, how good he looked. And I thought that it was really masked by Malik Willis as the backup in the Packers, just playing his grind it out cold weather games. And every play that mattered was to Christian Watson. And he, I couldn't believe how explosive he looked off the injury. And he came coming back into that game after going to the hospital. It was crazy. - I know we didn't record after that Thursday game. I almost feel like we undersold it on Sunday. Is that the craziest thing that's happened in the world tonight? - It looks like a WWE bit, you know? - Like things that aren't serious, you know what I mean? Like Demart Hamlin doesn't count. Like crazy things. That is a, that it was fucking crazy that the ambulance drove him back to the game. - Well, this was serious. We thought it, I mean, we thought it was COVID-19. - We thought it was COVID-19. - I think it was CT for his lungs. - Yeah. - But hell with that, I gotta play. - Again, I'll never, I'll never forget. Third quarter, Christian Watson won catch nine yards. He's back in the game? - Yeah, yeah, he's back. - You can point to a moment. You're like, when we look back on the season, there's a handful of moments would be like, that happened. I think the Mike Evans jersey grab, we're like, who are you? - Yeah. - Is the, is up there. - Oh, yeah. - And then there's lots of ones right there. - Yeah. - I would also like to shout out for this category. I think Basial Tutin, Basial Tutin is the honorable mention who's been a top three running back in the last month. I think Tutin is the guy that when we do this episode at the end of the year, guys who could be the winner. - Could be the winner. - Yeah. - Second half, I think Tutin, I know it's tough 'cause I know I wasn't huge on him before the season because I just felt that he was being really highly drafted, but I was dubious that he was getting a huge workload and being incredible, but he looks, he's kind of like if Devon H.N. didn't have like incredible vision, but like the speed and I've been impressed with him. He's, again, he's just more physical than I thought he'd be for some of that fast and you can't eat that. Okay, next one. For anyone else for just overhyped guy who's actually performing? - I mean, the only guy I would throw in there hasn't looked as good the last two weeks, but Kent Walker. He's been, I mean, he was one that I think he-- - He was the overhyped though, I think you had to make a-- Well, I thought people, maybe I just overhyped him. I don't know, maybe I'm just thinking from my perspective, I felt like I couldn't shut up about him. - I feel like he was underhyped and then when the season began, everyone was like, yeah, we should have overhyped him. - Yeah. - Okay, fair enough, fair enough. Who else? Well, the next category is the overhyped guy who flopped. So it's the opposite of the prior category. I think this is O'Marion Hampton, who going into the season, it was like, oh, the colds, the chargers have their own Jonathan Taylor. And wow, look at what he mostard in Devon H. and I've done with Mike McDaniel Miami. O'Marion Hampton's gonna do that. And what's crazy about Hampton specifically is you look at all the other overhyped guys, right? Jonathan Brooks was really hyped, didn't work out. A.G. Brown this season, a lot going on with him. Gentie, Travian Henderson, these dudes, they all got hurt. O'Marion Hampton has not been injured. He's just played so poorly that he's in a three-headed timeshare with Kamani Vidal and Keaton Mitchell. And he isn't at 40 yards in a month, O'Marion Hampton. And he is like, he's like Brian Robinson now on this team. - It's so brutal. - I. - He's a giant battering ram that just runs into the line and falls down. - He's kind of letters for Neddy. - To where O'Marion Hampton was drafted in fantasy versus what he had done to that point in his career. I think O'Marion Hampton is the worst fantasy football draft pick since Clyde Edwards' layer was like a first-round pick as a rookie when he had never played before in them was terrible. Like Hampton, it's one of the worst picks I can ever remember 'cause he wasn't particularly great last year. - Well, that was. - It was already taking a bit of a leap of faith. - It was a worst shot cast watching him last year. It was kind of a. People had different opinions on how he looked 'cause sometimes in open space, he looks unstoppable. - Well, he looks like a runaway beer try. - I keep. - Look at that giant stuff. - No, there are flashes of him. I don't know. I would still say there are flashes, but I mean, the pick after him was Kenneth Walker. If you look at like average draft position, Brock Bowers, you missed out on Brock Bowers and Kenneth Walker because of O'Marion Hampton. - I think Ashton Gentry O'Marion Hampton was like a question, before Ashton Gentry heard his ankle. And people are upset with Ashton Gentry, right? Not having good seas. - Oh, he's been way better than Hampton. - Ashton Gentry has twice as many points. - Yeah. - Ashton Gentry twice as many points as O'Marion Hampton, I know what you're happy with him. - You know who was picked next to Hampton? - Just to bring up one more guy in this category, who I think is being shielded by Hampton's ineptitude, is Chase Brown. - Yeah. - Who went one spot before, I'll be real quick. He went one spot before Hampton. And we really liked him. I talked about him a lot, and I was excited to draft him. And he has been really bad. - It's just the definition mediocre. - He's only scored 16 more points in Hampton in the same amount of games this year. - I still, he has like, his finishes among running backs this week by week, 13, 21, 24, 18, 27, 22. - He's just like a guy who scores 10 points of game now, and he's like the last player that you start every week. - I think we're gonna go to a grave saying he's a by-law, but he's a by-law because T.A. - He can use his own pace for like 40. - 40 aren't touched down last week, call back. - T.A. against his own pace for what? Like frickin' 18 touchdowns. Like at some point Chase Browns, you're gonna start just scoring touchdowns. - Yeah, maybe. - Or should you know, Higgins isn't put the, Higgins only has four this year, how's that possible? - Higgins is doing a lot of, it's mostly catchers in yards for T.A. - The, sorry, other people I have to mention, 'cause I can't do overhyped guy who didn't do anything without mentioning Colston Loveland for the Bears, where the Bears are, it's actually worse, 'cause at least Chase Brown, you're like, you know, Chase Brown, I get it, he was terribly hurt. At least you're playing other people. Colston Loveland, Omer and Hampton, you're playing these guys every single week, and they're doing nothing. For you, Colston Loveland, you probably took, like I had a Christian Watson. Like Colston Loveland, you took, I had a lot of people, and he's, you would have been better off just adding Michael Mayer when Brock Barber's got his meniscus trimmed, and Michael Mayer's now performing Colston Loveland entire season. - Hopefully, he's picked it up. - He's picked it up. - By the end of the season, hopefully, it's not as terrible, but yeah. - I think, yeah, it's probably too late to Bilo, because the Bears offense looks so good, and he'll be better, but he's been terrible for you. The boring player who is winning your league, DK. - Speaking of a guy, it's too late now to Bilo. Don Jay Swift, the running back for the Bears, who looked awesome last night, scored three touchdowns. Swift is one of those guys that's interesting. People kind of think he sucks for a variety of reasons, but if you look at his career, the lowest points per game he's averaging, purely from fantasy, is 11 points per game. I mean, that's like not bad in terms of, you're not getting the floor that some of these other guys bring, with the Bears in his career, so far he's averaging 13 points per game in this year. He's averaging 17. He's the RB4 in total points. He's outscored Jonathan Taylor, Kyron Williams, Derek Henry, Genti Brown, the guys we just talked about. And he was drafted as the RB19. So he's been an awesome value, and I think, as long as he stays healthy, he's going to continue. In fact, maybe even get better as the year goes on. - Yeah, I'm very impressed with him. I've always liked him. I'm most impressed with his durability. It feels like he's a guy who, I don't know this because his last name is Swift, but I don't think like, you think of him as like a gritty, tough running back, and he really is. - He's become that. - He's doing the Mike Evans, like he just grits through every game, and he's super dependable. He's tied for the league lead and touchdowns. He's got 10 touchdowns, along with Jumir Gibbs. So I totally agree. I think the other guy who challenges here, who I would argue deserves to win this because he's more boring than DeAndre Swift, is Chuba Hubbard on the Panthers. Chuba Hubbard is the number six running back in fantasy. He's averaging 17 points per game. He is what Chase Brown is supposed to be, but he's not. - It's funny, too. These are such different players, 'cause I think Chuba Hubbard is not necessarily physically that gifted, but he's like a coach. He just, he survived a lot of coaching staffs. Chuba Hubbard was drafted by Matt Rule. Like there's been a lot of Panthers coaches that I'm like, I don't wanna get rid of Chuba. - He was drafted by Matt Rule's wife, really. - That is true. Matt Rule's wife. Well, you know what? She did better. - She has an eye for running backs, yeah. - Yeah, we should ask her what she thinks. Whereas DeAndre Swift, he actually learned better vision. Ben Johnson clearly taught Swift vision. Ben John, DeAndre Swift was the running back before sake one at 2,000 yards in Philly that like couldn't go and get 1,300 yards in a season when the Eagles offensive line. The sake one came in at an 800 more yards. So different players. - Is it Swift or Chuba? Who wins? - It's gotta be Swift. Chuba's way more boring though, but okay. Chuba's more boring, but like Swift, I mean, can I give you a crazy fact? - DeAndre Swift, I don't think it's that boring. Chuba is arguably the most boring running back in the NFL. - But the category is the boring guy winning your league. Let me just, okay. DeAndre Swift is just two fewer points this season that B. John Robinson. - I know, they're like right next, Swift and Chuba are very close. - But Chuba's 12th running back, which is good, but like Swift, I don't know, he's 30 more points. - Chuba's like 12th, I have him at six. He's the sixth running back, 12th. Where do you see 12th? - Oh, just 12th for total points. - Yeah. - Oh, why are you, okay. - Chuba's 7th and points for game in 12th. - You don't look at points for game, guys have buys. I mean, that's, both. Well, okay. I feel like you should look at points per game because if somebody had a buy, then there's screwed. He's the RB six in points per game. Well, I was, I wanted my head of Robinson stats. He's literally ahead of Deandre Swift in points per game. I wanted my BG as two fewer points than BG on Robinson stats. He was taken 20 spots later than Deandre Swift is scoring more points than Deandre Swift and is more boring than Deandre Swift. And yet he will not win. Okay. Well, DK, you've got from it. He says anything. Break the tie. I said Swift. So what do you want me to do? But I also totally agree with Craig. That's incredible. That's been an awesome, awesome value. I'm also like, if you kind of think about what's going to happen next, like I don't have a ton of faith in Chuba Hubbard. We say that that is the Chuba experience. So that's the boring player experience. I think the real answer. Yeah, I guess. I'll give you Chuba if you want to be I admit that he's I admit he's more extending in all of us. He quite literally is outscoring Deandre Swift in points per game. So I and he was taken later in the draft and he's way less famous of a player. Where did Chuba Hubbard go to college? Fuck, it was like Oklahoma something. Where did Deandre Swift go? Georgia. Georgia. Exactly. Exactly. I arrest my case. I arrest my case. His name is Chuba. What a name. I know Chuba is fun, but Swift is fun. Who made the joke that Chuba Hubbard has the most Star Wars name in the NFL? He totally does. It's like the new Star Wars spin-off with Chuba Hubbard. Yeah. That's good. The next category, best guy over 30. This is hard because they all got hurt. Right. Who do we go with here? It's the old head. It's like Derek Henry. I saw this video on Instagram the other day because it involuntarily serves me up videos. I don't want to see and I'm addicted to it. And I wish it didn't, but I saw this video of two deer who were locked in antlers and they couldn't get out. And one of them like died during it. And I feel like that's my govins since Avantay Adams fighting for this. He's probably got left down in the field. Nature is metal, you guys. Nature is metal, dude. I think it would have been Devantay Adams had he not gotten hurt. He's a top 10 wide receiver before he went down. So now it's kind of Mike Evans versus George Kittle. I kind of want to go George Kittle. I think it's probably. It's probably Kittle. Yeah. So I think Kittle to your biweek thing, no one played Kittle in week one. I don't think because he was barely getting played. Right. So like you probably had a different tight end in week one that probably was average for you. So since week two, George Kittle is the second best tight end in fantasy football. Yeah. Literally he's ahead of Trey McBride in fantasy points since week two, which kind of blew my mind. Yeah, it's Kittle. It's Kittle. Yeah. I mean, you can make a case for Evans. The Kittle is the guy. Kittle the easiest skill player to like root for in the NFL. He's so good. His play style is so awesome. And he's like so weird. I feel that. I don't know. I feel like if you hate George Kittle, I'm not sure like a CEOX fan in the division. Like I think that's really weird. I even I love Kittle because it's not like it's not just that he's 30. The fact that he overcame the injury and is doing what he's doing. I mean, Evans has been good, but him just being so beat up, you're a little bit. I mean, like, I'm not that, you know, Kittle is now seen as despite coming off an Achilles, he's like durable. He's more durable than Mike Evans. And he's 32 within Achilles tear. Can I am? Can I throw out another name for the categories? You're a best guy over 30. Can I am? Can I throw it? I think it's going to be really unpopular and you guys can get mad, but it's literally you're going to say some quarterback or something. Josh Allen is okay, which I somehow is spiritually wrong and not part of this. Well, because a running back receiver, tied N30 is like a quarterback 38. Okay, but Josh Allen is, I mean, what's his fantasy points just from fucking Russian? What's his what? Josh Allen has ran for nine touchdowns this year. So just you could say Josh Allen is a runner. Josh Allen is averaging 11 and a half Russian fantasy points per game. That's more than O'Marion Hampton. No. I mean, how how many we say you should just reach for Josh Allen because he's two players. Right. Honestly, he's like Otani. I mean, like he's average, if he's averaging 11 again, that means he's averaging more than Chase Brown. So if you reach and take Josh Allen in the third or the fourth, you are taking Josh Allen and Chase Brown. Right. You have basically two players in one roster spot. Chase Brown this season is one rushing touchdown. Josh Allen is nine. How many games more will Chase Brown have to play to get to match Josh Allen to rushing touchdown? 20. Why did we rank Josh Allen behind fucking O'Marion Hampton again? Can we never do that ever again? Sure. Yeah. Of course. I mean, geez. Next year, we actually have to rank him like 13th. He's also averaging 15 points per game just passing, which is the same amount as like Gino Smith. Yeah. Right. You're getting like, you're getting an average quarterback and a running back with that. Yeah. Next play, next category, the out of nowhere league winner. AKA really, this is the most improved player. With respect to Matthew Golden, I think this has to be Jalen Warren. I agree. I agree. Who crazy statistic, I saw this week, Jalen Warren is averaging 6.9 yards per touch, which is the highest of any running back over the last decade through eight games per touch. He's seven yards of touch. I really do. It has stuck with me when you said he's the new Austin Eccler because it's true because he's like a truly off the radar player who just undrafted it is to outwork other NFL players. Yeah. Like he's just the hardest working guy. And I also, I saw this, I saw this quote come across my feed the other day. It was first round picks have to prove they're not good and undrafted players have to prove they're good. And it's like so hard to go like over the lie or whatever, like eclipse the person who's like highly drafted, highly paid. There's a lot of there's a lot riding on this player reputationally in the GM like needs this guy to work out to for war and to do what he's doing is really remarkable. That's also like the the shitty offense is that he said to fight their Kenny picket at Mason Rudolph and Mitch Trubisky and Russell Wilson. And it's like he actually fits kind of nicely with Rogers Rogers. Trust him to use him really smartly in the passing game. And the offensive line is now giving him room to breathe. And he's just like, it's crazy. 28 years old. He's not 25. And he is really seems like he's he's had a new level in his career. Yeah, which honestly, that's a good trivia question. Who is the last running back that had a true breakout? We think of them completely different now at 28. And it's a good question. I mean, this guy was playing behind fucking Najee Harris for 28. That is man. There's probably not a lot. I'm sure someone can I'm sure there's someone I'm not thinking about, but like it is it is not common for running back. Honestly, it's probably Mike Anderson, not that I think about it. Actually, it's definitely Mike Anderson. We'll kind of nail that just now, damn Mike Anderson. I don't even know about it. It's 20 Broncos. He's in Denver. And his first season at 27. He had 1500 yards and 15 touchdowns. Interesting. Oh, you know, it's funny. I was thinking of another Denver running back CJ Anderson who kind of like took. Yeah, it's confused. He was fun to watch. It's crazy. Anyway, I know the Gonger. We have to just mention Matthew Golden though, because Matthew Golden went from I mean, I hyped him up a ton as a rookie, felt very stupid because he didn't do anything. And he looked good in the playoff game. And my joke this season was Matthew Golden looks so good against the Bears that I'm going to fucking make the mistake of taking it again. And I did. And I was afraid to recommend him because I was like, I just talked about him last year and I didn't do anything. For a hand. He's like unbelievable. He's unbelievable now. He's taking a massive leap. He looks amazing. Matthew Golden's family thought that he could I told you halfway through the season Matthew Golden would be this one of 10 receivers with 100 with 100 fantasy points. Like the last month, the best receivers in fantasy with the most points last month are JSN Pukinakua Matthew Golden. He looks awesome. Imagine if he could catch, he'd be, he'd be JSN literally. He's dropped more fantasy points than sick. He's forgotten more about football than I'll ever know. He's dropped more points for fantasy than I've ever scored. I made a joke on the fandal ad that I wish I could part. I wasn't a joke when I was like, I wish I could parlay him dropping a touchdown and scoring a touchdown. And Tyler Brooke pointed. He did it back to back plays. Yeah. He's anyway, it's unbelievable. And also, I say it likely who I got a text probably about that too. It's funny. People love that. Golden, truly shocking. Okay. Next category, the player you quietly really regret drafting, but nobody thinks about. I'll go I'll go first, but I don't know if this guy's necessarily the winner, but I wanted to point him out because we haven't talked, we haven't talked about him. We've kind of quietly forgotten about him. He's just like in the, he's in the ant, whatever. He's like an annotation in history books or something like this. Trave you on Henderson. Yeah. He's like, he was the RB 25. I drafted him to be my second running back on a couple different teams. He had over a thousand yards from scrimmage last year. He's the explosive guy in their offense. He's supposed to be the past catcher blah, blah, blah. He's ever stringed three points of game. He's basically their third string running back now. He's been hurt. Yeah. He's not usable. You can't even play running back skills. Triven Henderson does not have translatable running back skills at this point in his career. He can learn that. He's so frustrated. Horrible. He's a blocker. He doesn't have vision. Was this whole thing coming out of college that he was good at blocking? Yeah. He was like the best, the best past blocker in college football, which a very low bar by the way. Yeah. You know, much more complicated. He's technically good, but you know, much more complicated is the block. Sure. I just feel like in the, I feel like the scouts like great blocker. But why don't you, it's a small sample. It's like, it's where the jokes about the Jersey size come in. Well, the Jersey's that size because he's really fucking small. You know, it's a great blocker, Ramondra, but there's so many players in this category. You have to keep moving. I mean, we need to chase Brown. Do you remember my love Nightmare? He's on the I.R., never bought it. We were kind of like, what if the Texans are good and like they suck Montgomery's been as bad as a pick as anybody? George Pickens, we have not discussed. Talk about, yeah, he's really They've fallen off. - He's been very average. - Production-wise. - He's averaging 10 points a game. He's a replacement level player. Another guy, Amecha Ibuka, has it been great. The bucks have been really messy. I still think he's a good player, a turf toe. They'd bucks don't throw the football anymore. It's been a very weird year in Tampa, but he's been an unfortunate pick. So yeah. - That's a good one. - But the winner, God, I don't know. Who's the winner? - Player, you quietly regret draft. - I know what he thinks about. - I'm sure he thinks about it. - We just kind of gave up on him. I feel like he's not even in the conversation anymore. - I think it's him where it's David Montgomery. - I think it has to be David Montgomery too. - You know what the difference is to me? - Montgomery is a fucking disaster. I guess so was Trayvian, but yeah. - At least David Montgomery said the dignity of not playing, so you've actually replaced him. Trayvian, I mean, Trayvian had 76 yards and it touched down a week one. So then he then kind of catfished you to play. And then he said, "Twenty-two." He didn't play a week when he was hurt. - Oh, you're sorry, a week two, a good point. So week three, and on, 23 yards, 42, 22, 31, and terrible. - That's like insulting, you know what I mean? Like that hurts your soul. Although Montgomery, can we have them? - Dude, his snap rate, look, his snap rate, 60, 35, 38, 18, 23, 24. - You want to do a co, we'll give it to both of them. - Every now and then, like, oh four. They split the MVP, like we, yeah. - These are just like the guys you drafted to be or RB2 and they are not even on, they should even be on your roster. - It fits the category that the guys don't think about it a lot, we can't even decide. We just split it. - And it's like the sunk cost, like you're never gonna drop David Montgomery, even though you probably should. - Okay, the next award here is the horse drawing award for that thing of the horse that's really good at the beginning and then it gets really bad. And that's for the players who we were really excited about in the quarter season version of this episode that haven't really done anything since. And kind of had to leave the Panthers, Bryce Young, and Tyler Shock, who were the shocks of the first quarter of the season, haven't done a ton since. - Yes. - Bryce Young is a very good one. If it's conceded an argument a few days ago about how Bryce Young hasn't been great for the last month. What is he, he's like the quarterback 22 over the last month or something like that? I think that's very fair. Quietly Parker Washington started the season quite hot and now three of his last four games, he's had less than eight points. - I would go get him in a second. I think that there's, like the differences, I actually am like worried about Bryce Young and I haven't been the ringer league and Parker Washington, I'm like, you literally, there's nothing that could happen instead of injury for me to bench him. - Yeah, I don't think, I think he's a great player. I just think it's like, often times they spread the ball around a lot or they're just like the volume is it there. - Yeah, they were like one of the lowest pass rate teams in the NFL in terms of like, and they play really slow. So the pie, the, you know, the entire body of plays that they run, it's just, there's just less to give out. - I also, I'm more confident and shook as just somebody who just gobbles up fantasy points than Bryce Young. I just feel like they just go out in the other, the opposite of what Jacksonville does where they're running a million plays a game. They're throwing the ball a ton. Shock runs a little bit, he's big. They had a bad game against Pittsburgh, but he's got four games of 20 or more points this year. I'm kind of not worried about Shock. - This is not, can I just say something that will inferior you guys? - Okay. - Or I feel like he's Craig, are you also on this? I'm gonna get gonged out of here. Since we did that episode of, we said the MVP of the first quarter was Catawalker. Since then, Catawalker is the 12th best running back to my points. - I had him written down here for this category as an honorable mention. - It's not the horse drawing. That one's the middle of the horse drawing. - He's had two down games. - If he has one more, you start to get a little more. - Then you're starting to worry. - They played Seattle and they played down, they're playing the Jets. He's probably gonna have 260 yards against Jets on Sunday. - I think the answer is Bryce Young, because since week five in points per game, Bryce Young's 29th in points per game. - It does kind of feel like their season's starting to unravel. - Also. - I think it's somewhere in between the first quarter, the first quarter in the second quarter. - Of course. - Of course. We should never get too higher, too low. Bryce Young is an average quarterback, and he's gonna be an average fantasy quarterback. - Yeah. Okay. The next category here is our expectations were low, but holy fuck. - This is fun. - And I think we might have to split this award too, because incredibly, I was checking just total, just total points that receiver. I know that it's like they're on buy, but sometimes it's helpful. And you know what, there's something poetic about the fact that if you sort by total points, Marvin Harrison, Jr., and Brian Thomas, Jr. are next to each other at 82 and 80. - Of course. - Sweet, adorable. And you know what, I don't want to separate them. They're behind Laquan Tred. Well, in total points this season, I will say it again. Marvin Harrison and Brian Thomas have fewer points than Laquan Tred. - Here is it. - The past four years has seven catches entering this year. Like today's the midterm elections that we're like, recording this, between now and the last midterm elections, the Quant Tred will have had seven catches. And he fucking has more points than Brian Thomas and Marvin Harrison. - The Brian Thomas thing, I think, I don't know. Who do we have higher expectations for? - Brian Thomas. - I would say I had higher expectations for Brian Thomas. - I still think Brian Thomas could be a good player in the NFL. I don't think that about Marvin Harrison. - Thomas was more volatile. I think when we said Brian Thomas being drafted, it was like, there was a chance that this could happen, but it felt like there was also a chance he could just be like a top eight receiver again, and that maybe more of a chance than that. And the upside-down side was worth it. And obviously it was like the worst crash out of all. - Marvin Harrison, we were like, he'll probably start and be really bad and you'll hate him. And he couldn't even do that. - Yeah. - Like he just stopped trying. - I think the winners should probably just be Harrison by a hair because we had lower expectations, but holy fuck, he was traded. His own team was like, fuck this. - He had, do you know how bad you have to be for TG? TG Shmanzada did like a five minute video. Not like it and like a sitting there. Like he's bad, like a breakdown of how little he's trying. - He's like, do you know how little you have to try to have athletes call out how little you're trying? - Right. It's Marvin Harrison, Jr. The our expectations were low, but pleasant surprise, which is not a category, but I'm thinking about it right now. Kind of the Browns, gotta say. - Yeah. - The Browns are in the Nexus. Yeah. - Well, this, this is a good segue. - This is a good segue, actually. - Sure. - Yes, it is. The next category is Rookie of the Year in Fantasy Football, which we gotta say very down year so far. Eight weeks in, not a lot of Rookie love here. I mean, the guys who went early in the real draft, Jeremiah Love, Karnel Tage, you're Dairy in Price, McCuy Lemmon. None of those worked out. Jordan Tyson hasn't played a snap 'cause he's been hurt. Kenyans Cedique had one good game. Casey Concepcion had one good game. So it's gotta be, I think, Denzel Boston by default who's been very good. I think Jeremy Bernard is probably right there. And then if you-- - Tate, I think Tate's somewhat close to that group too. He's been coming on stronger. - Yeah, I mean, I think Karnel Tate actually is playing well. I actually think he might be a bilo, but I don't think he's done anything in fantasy. Like he's been-- - Well, I mean, he's averaging less than one point per game, less than Boston. I mean, he's played one fewer game. - Sure, but-- - But they're pretty close in points per game. - He's had double digits twice. - Right. - And you took him, I mean, he was going, he was a top 80 pick. - Yeah. - That's true, that's true. - Denzel Boston was like free. And then if he had more hype in the final two weeks, so he probably spent a 12-round, period 10-th round pick on Denzel Boston. - The guy I think by the end of the year, John a Coleman, if Denver doesn't trade for her, running back to you on a Coleman, could be the winner of this by the end of the year. - Yeah. - I think it's-- I haven't gone through, but I'm just thinking of it now, but I can't remember the last rookie class that halfway through the season. There was not really a receiver or a running back of any significance, you know what I mean? Like the best running backs by talent are backups. Like Emma Johnson looks great, but he just had a good game. Just no one was fucking playing in the fantasy. John a Coleman, he's probably the best impactful fantasy guy. He just was on injured reserve. Like you probably just added him off waivers a week or two ago, 'cause he was out for so long. - I think it's Denzel Boston who, I think it's like a weekly starter in fantasy. I think it has to be Boston, but it's a weird year, put it this way. I think you could argue that the rookie of the year race begins now. Like, I mean, if Fernando Mendoza came in, if they traded Kirkussons and Mendoza came in, he'd probably win the award. And like, I don't know. The fact that John a Coleman could win the real life will get the award, it's kind of crazy. - It's a good point. It's interesting, 'cause like you said, Jeremiah Love is now on the IR. Another high ankle sprain. I think a different one than before is what they said. - That is brutal. - You know what? - Okay. - To go back to the preseason game where they gave him 14 touches. And I think we weren't as mad about that as other people. We were like, look, he's got to play. And if he didn't get hurt, no one cares. - It just like doesn't matter for good. - Well, the fantasy is like mad that he was playing. I was like, okay, every year fantasy people get mad at coaches who don't play rookies in the beginning of the season. 'Cause they're not ready. But they also get mad when you're in the preseason. And I'm like, we'll pick a side. Like, do you want him to play or not? However, once he has the high ankle sprain and then they keep playing and playing him, I'm like, man, it is like, to take a running, it's basically the worst possible run out for the cartels. You take a running back third. Sonny style looks like a fucking Hall of Fame linebacker. I think Arville Reese looks like an old pro linebacker. Colonel Tate hasn't done anything statistically, but I think he looks certainly violent. - I think he'll be a good pro. - Yeah, like David Bailey for the Jets, I know he was the second pick you went before, but I'm like, a lot of those guys do look pretty good. Jeremiah love having two high ankle sprains in the same year. He's kind of a fucking disaster. - Yep. - Anyway. - This is the Raiders are going through the same thing right now with Jente. He's like banged up. - Took him over Membo, which looks terrible. - Yeah. - The only reason everyone didn't pan that is Sequan, I just had 2,000 yards won the Super Bowl, and everyone was like, maybe we won't beat up the team if you're taking running backs, but that was a terrible decision. - Yeah. - Okay. Anything else? We didn't make fun of Justin Herbert at the halfway point. Can I just mention Justin Herbert's the 30th best quarterback in fantasy? - We've moved on. - We've moved on from that. - I just had to mention this, Craig. I know. You're mad at me about total points. Can I give you one last total points that? - Sure. - Gardner Menshue came in in relief of Jacobi Preset and played like a quarter. Gardner Menshue is like 20 points off Justin Herbert's season long goal. - Oh my God. - Holy shit, are you serious? - Yeah. Gardner Menshue has, I think I'm right. Gardner Menshue has 20 points in fantasy this year, which again, barely fucking played. Justin Herbert's total number. - He played one quarter. - Yeah. - Or two quarters maybe. - Oh no, sorry, it's not, that's sorry. 20 is wrong. I was like, yeah. It's like 45. But regardless, he played a quarter. - I mean, Justin Herbert is averaging less points than Tanner McKee per game. - Brutal. - 30th. - Okay. - I think we could do like a Patreon fifth episode a week where we just talk about the chargers for 60 minutes. - Every week, we just go like, watch the fuck event. (laughing) - We just read stats. - Yeah, I think so. - Just chargers hour. - We just watch the Herbary Interceptions and we're like, how? - How? (laughing) - That's what we call, it's the quarantine. - It's with quarantine it from the other content that we do. We even want these people to infect. - Right. - Someone write that down. - This episode is brought to you by Zippercruder. A seasonal job that I always thought would be fun would be to work at a bakery. Just for like the holidays or something, I like to bake, I'm getting into baking salad of bread and I always thought it'd be kind of fun. Just for a couple of months to get up early every day, go to the bakery, work with the people, learn about bread, always been an interest of mine and I think it'd be kind of fun. Maybe you could retire my job. Well, finding people for a unique role, a seasonal position or any role really is not that easy. So do yourself a favor and use Zippercruder, especially since you could try it for free at zippercruder.com/fantasy. Zippercruder's powerful matching technology finds candidates with the skills you need and then it shows you the most interested in qualified ones first. And it all happens pretty fast. Let Zippercruder find the right people for your roles, seasonal or otherwise. Try it for free today at zippercruder.com/fantasy. That is zippercruder.com/fantasy. Meet your match on Zippercruder. - Ring or fantasy football league update. - Craig. - We're tied for first place. - Yeah, that's right, baby. - Thank God Craig, another gritty win, four straight. - Damn, thank God Craig is really on a roll right now. - Kind of a judge not. - You were in last place, Craig. - Yeah, look, you know, you can't overreact. I let the people talk their shit and now look who's in it. Luther Burton got me a win last night over Mal. Mal was reeling, it was great. - My team is in free fall, meanwhile. - I'm not gonna lie beat the shit out of you. - Well, you only won by 20. It looked worse until Deandre Swift played. - That's true. It's one of those were Deandre Swift had this incredible one in a game. - You were beating me by 50. - He got three touchdowns and you lost by 20. - Right, I was like, oh damn. 'Cause I think halfway through the game, I was like, oh damn Deandre Swift is kinda going off. Am I making this interesting? I'm like, oh fuck up, still doubting what coaches do when they're gonna get fired soon, which is like they score a couple touchdowns in garbage time to lose by 20 instead of 40. - It just doesn't look as bad. - Doesn't feel as bad. - Okay, so here's the real thing with the standings, which is interesting, this, I can't, this doesn't happen a lot. Although I think it's happening more this season, but I can't prove it. So the standings ran after the ringer league. So I'm in first with Craig and then House and Van are in tied for third at five and three. DK and Bill are at four and four. So that's six teams. Six teams are above 500. The next six teams in the league are all tied at three and five. Literally Sean, Mal, - It's a flat. - Doesn't Sal, Chris, Ryan, Dave Chang, and Tate are all three and five. And we have a regular season last place punishment. - Mm-hmm. - And so six teams are tied for last. - I could lose next week and technically be in last. (laughing) - Fight score like zero points. - The, I think it's time to go over some of the punishments again for what people have to do. - I forgot about mine. (laughing) - Yours, what did you say? - I thought about it. - You have to get it, you have to wear a two pay on a show. - I'm gonna get the best looking two pay you've ever seen in my friend. Or maybe the worst, I don't know. - You should just start tanking and just wear a two pay. - I agree. That sounds awesome. - Sure. - I would let him do that. - That's a lot of people from some of these. - What's wrong with mine? - Because you're actually like, that's fun. - I'm excited to wear a two pay. - Yeah, that's not a punishment. - By definition, if you're excited for it, that's not a punishment. - Let me put it this way, I'm not like, I'm not gonna be like super sad if I have to wear a two pay. So, Bill's punishment, what is Bill's punishment? - Bill has to listen to the McAfee album, I think. - Oh yeah, for an entire NFL Sunday. He's listening to the Pat McAfee. - I think it's the opening slate, but yeah. - You're gonna have to have somebody there watching him do it. - Yes. - He's speaking, I know, let me just fork it out. Speaking of watching them do it, Tate Frazier's in last place right now. His punishment is he cannot watch the Super Bowl. - Oh. - He has to watch a movie of our choosing, which we were joking it would be a lot of fun. - He can't go golfing though, either, right? - No, we cannot go golfing. He has to watch something of our choosing, like a movie or something. So, that actually sucks. Dave Chang, if he comes in last place, has to eat Terry Bradshaw's book. - Oh, right. He's gonna like cook it all up. - He didn't eat trade with somebody so that he could-- - So the house took it and then traded it to Chang, and Chang's gonna have some recipe he wants. - He's gonna make like a burnt, burnt page sauce. - Yeah, he's gonna like make a sauce out of the book. But he has to eat the book. - Chris Ryan, if he's in last, this one's not as, he used to go trick or treating in his neighborhood, not on Halloween, and he has to get 10 pieces of candy from 10 different houses. - Yeah. - He said he wouldn't dress up. We need to make-- - We need to dress up as the whole point, Halloween. - Right. - He's probably gonna be a stickler about that. If that, if that wasn't specifically communicate. - This is what cousin Sal's for, it's fine. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You can't knock at the door. I'm like, "Hey, I'm here for trick or treating." But like, I don't have a costume. It's fit, no, you have to work on it. - Well, Chris was like, "I like my neighbors. I'll just get to talk to 'em." - He's like, "I know all my neighbors. That'll be easy." - No, we're not, that's ridiculous. Malorie's punishment is, oh no, did I not write this down? - Malorie's the 7077 hot dog. - No, malice is 77 hot dogs in a month, which I wanted to make a week and then Craig talked me out of it. - 'Cause Mal might die and I don't want that. - You don't wanna kill anyone. - Oh my God, you guys, come on. - I feel like that has a blood lust. - He just wants to kill someone. - We finished the live show. - We just, Craig and I are, after the live show, just arguing how many, whether we should have hot dogs in a week, you know what I mean? - Craig's like, "We're not gonna kill anybody." - I'm like, so they don't take it. So then like, everyone has free will. There's 18 rounds to take a punishment. - And I believe, I believe that night, we were at a hotel in Hollywood at like midnight and I was like, "You know what, I'm going home. Do whatever you, this is the night before the live show." I said, "Do whatever you want." And then you showed up the next day and you reduced the amount. And you didn't have to. I said, "You can do this 77 in a week if you want." - Yeah, but like, yeah, but. - So you caved, you could have kept it. Do you wanna win arguments with me or not? Pick a side. - I don't know. - And so I have never had this feeling before. So I don't really know them. - I'm trying to carry it with me. - The other ones, what is it? Oh, and then Sean Fennancy, who took no punishment. That's right. - In like the eighth round. - And he has my pick, the fifth pick, we swap picks. - Remember that. - I need to forgot about that. You're tied for first, he's tied for last. - I took James Cook, forced himself out of the first, he first himself out of first place. Oh my God, I forgot about that. That's so funny. Oh, okay. - BS, hanging around, sixth place. I want Bill in the playoffs. That'll be fun. - Yeah, Bill neither making the playoffs nor coming in last place is better content. Okay. - House also, I've won four straight house. Quietly also, one four straight. Third place. - House is surging. - House is sneaking. - Sneaking, sneaking. - Kyrgyz Williams in a monoraw are carrying him in Tremac Bride. - Yeah. - Okay. - Time for Fennancy Court? - Hmm. - Yeah. - Definitely don't tell anyone about this thing that you're doing. - I don't really wanna be handcuffed. - It is worth pointing out that the word shark in and of itself is a combination of what two words. - Shit and fart. - Exactly. (dramatic music) - My man. (laughing) - The exactly. - Exactly. (laughing) - Exactly. - Two stupid people saying exactly to them. - That's always, that's always two, - Shit and fart. - Shit and fart. - Two dumb bitches saying exactly. - Oh my God. - Yeah. That's good. - All right. Fennancy Court here. This is from Colin. - Colin. - Zbone. - Breakfast is a banana, a nine-millil cram zin and a nice coffee with half an hour. - Ooh, a nine-milli, okay. - Do you guys ever done zins? I was never, I never achieved that. - Not a zin guy. - All right, I guess we're all squirrly lame in the three of us. (laughing) - Are you guys real men? - No, we've got that. - We haven't done selling salts or zins. - Is zin real men? - Real men is like, I'd shoot tobacco. - That's fair enough, yeah. - That's true. - I do the fake chemo. - You're not even a half man, though, Craig. - A good point. - That was the point. - Do people that are not trying to quit smoking choose zins or whatever you do with the zins? - You put it in your lip or whatever? - No, I think it's more vaping is, I use quit. - Smoking zins are crazy. - It's like you don't choose it. - That was aging in the zins. - I didn't mean to you. I knew, I know what you'd do with it. - The big league chupids. It's like a kid pulling out like the stuff from the big league chupids. - Big league chupids literally like a fucking campaign to get people, to get kids addicted to tobacco when they're not. - Hell yeah. - I mean, I gotta start. - Like the bruise. - It's a lot of it up like a char. - The rally heaters, man. - Yeah, I'm so stringy like tobacco and you like watered up. you guys ever seen Terry Frank Kona, obviously the baseballs, like this is my baseballs, like the most degenerate sport. And everyone's just fucking just doing crazy shit in the dugout. But Terry Frank Kona, yeah, Terry Frank Kona, what was his, he had a recipe for chewing tobacco. It was, he would chew it on the whole game. He was, he would earn some energy. It was a recipe. He would wrap, yeah, Copenhagen long cut loose tobacco inside. I think it was four pieces of gum or he made a gum like ball around the tobacco and he chewed that the entire game. I mean, that guy's jaw, that guy's mandible is stronger than anyone on earth. Yeah. E-nails, we don't know anything about dips or anything else, just the e-nails. Okay. So anyway. So people, I guess just dipping, this is not actually. Do you chew it? Are you chewing on it? Is this regional? You know, we call it a dip. No, you want a dip. That's what people call it. No. There was a time I went to a Warriors game growing up with friends and it was like, you know, we were all in high school and there was like kids, we know what those are doing. One of my buddies, of course, like put a giant water tobacco in to go to the Warriors game. Of course, swallowed some of it, which is going up the whole, you know, Adrian Peterson did that once on the plane. He had like, you know, he's from Texas, like he's got a Texas size to like dip in and they hit turbulence. He swallows it. Then I on the way to the game and he's like violently throwing up all night, you know, and then he makes a 230. It really affects you. Like you, you have to purge a lot, yes. I think about that story of the time when sometimes guys get sick on the way there. You're like, you don't know what the fuck happened to them. You don't know that. Yeah. Okay. Next finish, so call it anyway. Anyway. Nine milligrams of Zid. Yeah. Consists. We have a six-man shop league with shops occurring every three weeks. Can you explain what that means, correct? So every three weeks, the lowest scoring team in the league gets kicked out and all of the players on that guy's teams then enter the waiver wire and everybody can bid on those players, which we have to do this mixture. The key to team league, the shop leagues are awesome. There's so much fun. I'm still alive in the ringer discord league. We have a ringer discord, one with 32 teams. So a 32 pick first round, I guess who my first round pick was. Second one. Sick one. Fucking sick one. So we're out. The 16 pick and I was like, what a steal. Yeah. Yeah, I'm out. I'm fucking hanging on. I actually have sick one now. It's not helping me. Oh my god. That's great. So, anyway. So, yeah. So going into this past Monday's nine years commander's game, two teams were duking it out to be chopped. Team one was up 10 points, has George Kindle Brock party. Team two is Rashad White, Terry McLean. So team one and a football, Monday and a football, your season's over if you don't hit it. So in a moment of extreme desperation and technical legality, because we erroneously did not turn off mid week trades, the manager of team two trades Rashad White and a bunch of free agent budget money, which is very, very, very valuable for Christian McCaffrey. So they do McCaffrey for Rashad White and money to a third team, to a random third team that is like the best team in the league. So team two loses and now we find ourselves in the position of team three being the odds on favorite with 60 extra dollars to an already amazing team. And while this trade was legal, we can't help but feel it was both morally dubious and extremely unsupportable. How would you handle the situation? Well, it's kind of interesting. So basically, these two shitty teams were duking it out and team three is sitting there being like, my team's great. And I'm going to trade McCaffrey to a team I think probably might just lose anyway in exchange for 60 free dollars. And so that when McCaffrey, when this guy loses and McCaffrey goes back into the pool, I can just get him again and anyone else I want because now I got 60 more dollars. So he like loaned Christian McCaffrey knowing that he would enter into the waiver wire the next week for 60 dollars. So why should this be illegal? They literally didn't make it a big gift. This is like a chopped like Ponzi scheme. I kind of. I guess it's just really savvy business. That was kind of my first impression. I feel like if you didn't have the foresight to think that someone would make a trade on Monday and a football in this, it must be the first year of the league, right? I don't know. I don't know. I just look at this. They're allowed to make trades during the week or you're not. And so it's like they should just decide. Do yeah. Yeah. Like it's like I totally see, but if you don't want this to exist, I get it. If you do want it to exist, I get it, but they should decide. And then, but like I don't think you should undo this because you're mad that that happened. Well, it's because then all these desperation trades come into play here where you're just like shipping off tons of money to try to stay alive. And then if you don't, you're just, you're just making the best teams even better. But I guess basically people who are hanging off a cliff and you're like negotiating for them to like, do you want my hand? Then you just kind of fuck it. You know, that's a bad. And it's basically like the Oregon black market for fantasy football. It's like not really ideal. Yeah. It's like, sure, you can have McCaffrey. But I'm going to get him back eventually. Yeah. It's like, it's like, I'll donate you a kidney. It's in the cooler and you're like, I'm going to take that back. Yeah. I do think the ruling here is like, this is the nature of good business. Yeah. It's like one of those, it's one of those trades where like fuck, I wish I would have thought of that. That's what it is. Yeah. Most vetoes are just, I wish I got that deal. Yeah. Like almost all of them are that. That's like when I traded Triven Henderson to Salford Tucker Kraft and Hyfe, it's tried to veto it because he's mad. That's not true. Sure. A vetoed it because Sal was on drugs. Sal was on a live podcast every week. Is he okay? Why is the kidney stones? These are kind of like the holes. Sal is working full time. How are you? You're making the medical decisions on behalf of Sal Icono? No. There's just a review period for this. I had to look at his medicals. We didn't give him a drug test and everything. I need a pass. And he was fine. Yeah. I will say. Did he grant you power of attorney, like Elizabeth Holmes and Brian? You don't know what he signed. You have no idea. The trade went through. You have Tucker Kraft. It did. But you, you got in the way for a second. You like started to text a chat and you're like, whoa, what's this? And I'm like, hey, buddy, that's not your job. All right. Well, yeah, you got mad. It was funny. It was the fucking cold fantasy football. That's a commission or meddling. I didn't do anything. You meddled. You meddled. You meddled. You meddled. No, you meddled. He dipped his toes in it and-- He did. Was trying to get the reaction. You should have gone to me in Zell privately and said, hey, is this trade good? We would say, yeah. You send it through. That's your job. Well, I did that. No. That's how you did. What did I do? You made a joke, but you're like a salad drug. It's like, you basically implied that I was swindling Sal because he was not of sound mind. Well, I mean, you did swindle him. I thought you're probably-- He wasn't of sound mind. And I let it go anyway. So what's your fucking complaint? He was of sound. It's not your job to determine whether or not he's of sound mind, so he's an adult man working full-time. I was fucking viking it. He's hot for these kidney stones, and it probably a lot. And you know what? I did it anyways. Who cares? What do you care? What do you mean? What do I care? You're trying to be told what I tried. I could have vetoed it. I fucking didn't. No, you couldn't be told it. You're not allowed to do that. It's a trade that-- I literally am. I'm the commissioner. I literally can. And I fucking approve it. You can't just veto it. No one's going to allow you to veto any trade. And I-- so what's the fucking problem? Is you tried to meddle in a trade that you didn't think was fair, just because you didn't think it was fair? I didn't meddle in trade. I just made you mad for a little. That's fun. You don't-- You literally meddled. You meddled. You made the league question-- Is a medler whether or not there's trade should go through, which is unfair. You did. That's meddling. You're saying you were agreeing to meddling. That is a lower-- I wasn't going to veto the trade. Really? What the fuck with you? He was doing a bit. Sure. Yeah. Okay. If Salwood had said, you know what? You're right. I don't want to do the trade anymore. I would have killed you. [LAUGHTER] He was trying to peer pressure Sal out of me. He was. 100%. No, no. That's not true. [LAUGHTER] We had an overnighted drug test. It took a long time. Hope he's okay. I really don't want kidney stones, man. Sal was doing fine. He's destroyed Bill and gets the line. Has he gotten those things pulverized yet? What's going on in it? Is he still dealing with it? It's still ongoing. It seems like a really pesky stone. It's like the meteor in Armageddon. They can't figure it out. They got to send a little mini-pastronauts in there. Do they train astronauts to drill or do they? Do we teach Ant-Man to drill? Do we? That's a great idea. It's Armageddon, but now it's Ant-Man going after a kidney stone. All right. This looks from Will. Willy. Breakfast. Ritalin. A day-old apple. A day-old coffee. Two day-old banana bread. What does a day-old apple? What does that mean? I think you bought it. Browning and whatnot. It's a day-past when it was good. I just figured it was the ball. Maybe cut it up and ate it the next day. A day-old apples. That doesn't make me sense. I actually didn't think about it until you set it up, but you're right. To me, that means the apple is one day past when you should probably eat it. So. Mealy. The subject line of this email was, "My buddy thinks he can teleport." Oh, my. Okay. I'm already annoyed. I'm like, "I'm going to run the voice. I'm hitting the button." I'm like, "I'm turning around." That is how I should push you guys, these people. There's so many. It's going to fit to you. It's going to fit. I'm going to say it again. Yeah, do it again. All right. Subject line. "My buddy thinks he can teleport." That is how we should do it. You two both have to do that and then whoever does it first gets to judge the case. So Will writes, "I have a friend who claims he can essentially teleport." Essentially. Okay. Now the audience already changed it. Essentially. Okay. This is written too. He says he got this idea from some video or something. Okay. (laughs) - Freight. But basically, Will writes my friend when he's out at a bar or an event and he doesn't want to deal with the pain of getting home, subway, traffic, whatever. He just blacks out. This is actually pretty good. The next thing he knows, he's in his bed. He wakes up the next day, he's like, "Oh, yeah, I'm home. All right." Yeah, he doesn't always know where he teleports to, but he can teleport. Sometimes it's in somebody else's bed, but he can teleport there. I think I agree. He does essentially teleport. Yeah. I mean, in his own brain, he's teleporting to everyone else he's not. But to him, he is. Will says for context, we both live in New York City, he doesn't drive much like I mean New York City. Should hope not. He says that. Well, I think that's the idea. He can public transport anywhere. And he says to him, his memory skips from the bar to waking up in his bed. So he's teleporting essentially. He claims it's like if you could freeze yourself and travel to Mars, even though time's passed, you'd feel like you teleported to Mars. Yeah. And Will says. What's that called? Like a. Cryo? Yeah. Cryo travels. Yeah. What do you say? Cryo sleep. Cryo sleep. Cryo sleep. You're thinking of cryotherapy. But I think it's the same thing essentially. Yeah. So I love that he's like, so the friends like, I think of teleporting. Will writes, I think my friends and idiot who we have to drag home every time. Well, yeah. And it's also extremely, I think that he says, it's all, it's my favorite part. He says, it's also extremely annoying since he'll always say it's teleporting time when he's about to do a bunch of shots. This is funny. Instead of Irish goodbye and he's like, it's teleporting time. He's like fucking Hancock. He's like shitty superhero. That's not even a good catchphrase. It's teleport time. He could do better. But I guess he's hammered. So we could do better. I love the idea of him being like, he like pulls out his phone, he's like 55 minutes to get home. He's like, nah. Takes three shots. See you guys later. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Holy shit. It's teleporting time. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. We got to do a better catchphrase. Oh god. What's the guy that says it's clobbering time? Is that the thing from the Fantastic Tour? Is that the big rock guy? Yeah. Isn't he saying it's clobbering time? Something like that. I don't know. Oh my god. It is. Yeah. It's clobbering time. Good pull. So the ruling here is that I believe that we're comfortable saying and supporting the fact that he does essentially teleport, but also he, but he's also fucking annoying. What is it? Yeah. God. He's inseparable. He's a time traveler teleporting. No. Cause to him it's teleporting. Yeah. God you're right. That's crazy. He blinks and he's in a different place. Yeah. There's something here. There's like a theory of relativity or something. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That's so good. Okay. The top of the part of time is he takes his shot. Bar keep making a double. Oh my gosh. Should we do another stupid court case? Keep him in the whole stuff. We don't condone blacking out. Yeah. So don't do that. Sure. Why don't we do one more? All right. I have another stupid court here. Do you guys want one like a realistic ish one? We're not realistic ish one. Not realistic. Yeah. I think the latter. I don't know. You make the call. I trust you. Okay. So it's from Matthew. Maddie. M bone. I don't know if you guys will find this as funny as I did. I really don't. So Matthew's breakfast today was the gas station sausage egg and cheese with the black coffee. Okay. Okay. So my friend group had a years long debate on whether you could eat a small house over the course of your lifetime. Maddie, I'm telling you, men, women, there's that would never happen in one million years in it with a group of women. Yeah. So to clarify, no glass, no insulation, like nothing's going to really kill you know. No asbestos. We're talking like wood and paint. Yeah. Of course. So just building materials. So brick, drywall. It's not furnished. And the way it would be accomplished is you take incredibly small amounts of house. Sure. Right. And you grind it up into your food and drink throughout your life. Like a house smoothie. Yeah. Like a house of powders. Yeah. And it's a small house. It's like a casita. You know, it's like a ranch house. A casita. Yeah. Yeah. Like a smaller house. A yurt, if you will. A yurt. Could you eat a casita yurt over your whole life? Yes. I think so. As well. Yes. I think as long as you don't die of other causes, you'd be fine. Yeah. I mean, you can turn anything into a powder. You can probably eat anything. The other reason I say yes, and I'm actually kind of like genuinely serious is that aren't there people who have like really weird things where they like eat nails and stuff throughout their entire life? I don't know. I don't know. There's people that have there's people that eat all kinds of crazy things like it's a it's a disorder of some sort obviously not very good for you, but is it physically possible? I kind of think so. There was a famous Hollywood agent in Sam Cohn who was he had a real life habit of eating paper. He just ate paper. So weird. I say it bit. I want I love how many of these are of these emails for stupid court have been like my friends that I have argued about this so long that we can't even talk about it anymore. We don't bring it up. Yeah, yeah. It's like jacket or the pants. Honestly, that's like my stupid court is like just clicking a pen like make it die faster like jacket. I can't fucking talk about it. No. It's like just don't bring it up. Don't talk about Penn's dog in my household, but I want more of these stupid courts. I love them so much. That's a great argument. So you do you think you can eat I'm glad you had said that because I could also thought I could eat the house. I was afraid to say it. Some of the things I'd be worried about are the plumbing. Rank them. Oh, yeah, plumbing. How are you fucking eating? How are you eating the plumbing? That's it. Yeah. You might die if that part. I mean, you need a machinist vice for sure. How modern is the house is my first question. Do we have like a state of the art blender type situation? How are we going to? Yeah, I mean, obviously, you need. Do we have a smelter? Are we like able to melt the shit down? I think you don't have to be responsible for the metal. The metal is the house. The metal I don't know you doing it. The metal shaving. Yes. Correct. The metal is tricky. Yeah. I think I have to mix the metal shavings in a little in a time with like larger amounts of dry wall. Yeah. Well, we're talking about metal. The metal is the tough part. Well, how much dry wall could you eat in a day? Not very much. I know time is so powerful, though. I'm thinking of like Shawshank redemption. I do think you could eat the house. The tiles are underrated. Again, the stove. I think the stove is tricky. That's the problem. I'm like, is the stove like a year? What about that thing on top of the stove? A little metal, great. That's like, I guess you could melt that now. That's the metal. The metal. The metal stuff. We had a really long argument, my friend, Craponce about if LeBron James could be, could metal in the Olympics throwing javelin if he only had six months to practice. I think we talked about this a long time ago. Yeah, we have. And half of us were like, absolutely, and the other half were like no shot. Probably not. Really? This was also five years ago when he wasn't 40, but it was like, he's not playing basketball. He has all of his money. And the only thing he sets out to do is to metal in the Olympics. And he has six months to, he bires all the best trainers, spends as much money as he can on it. That's all he focuses on. LeBron James. You don't think so? He just needs a bronze. LeBron's. He's got a bronze at throwing javelin. LeBron's. LeBron's. Like, if you're life depended on it, would you really say no? I would not bet my life. No. I mean, he got his throwing is so good. I think we never talk about, I've told you this is a yoke itch, and I'm kidding. I'm not really kidding. I kind of think the coyoke itch would be like, it actually like elite hall fave level quarterback. Oh, yeah. Like, I think he would have been the best Broncos quarterbacks since Peyton Manning. Like, whenever I watch yoke itch with these like behind the back passes, he has same vision. Like, he has everything you need to play quarterback, including the physicality of like the Eastern European side of him that seems like he could really fuck people up if we ever fought. I'm like, I actually think he'd take hits. I think he could be a quarterback. So, yeah, I kind of do think LeBron can be a javelin. Yoke itch would be like steroids big Ben. Like, parking bark, kind of mobile, injured all the time, great arm, like holding people off with one hand throwing with the other. Tecler's just hanging on him. I mean, he's too big. I mean, he's like, it would be very hard. It's a large strike zone, but like the whole, he's too big. I'm like, yeah, like, I don't know. I kind of think he could play court. I think that's why I think, I think yoke itch could play quarterback in the NFL in six months if he wanted to. And he like, if he cared about football as much as horses, you know, I think he could do that. Horse guy. More than I think, maybe, maybe more than I think LeBron could do the javelin thing. I think that's one of the dumber things you've ever said. There's no way. You think dumb? Nickelodeon, yoke itch could be it could play NFL quarterback in six months. versus LeBron getting a bronze medal at Javlett. - I'm not saying the Broncos would be in the Super Bowl, but like, what do you mean he could complete one pass? What are you saying? - Well, we just saw Baker Mayfield complete no passes. - What is your bar of like playing quarterback? What does that mean? - That's fair. I think, I don't know what I'm saying. Like, I've never thought about it in a specific like cookie. I'm not I'm saying, I don't know if I've thought about it like he could specifically do this. But I think what I'm saying is he like, to me, unquestionably, has all the intangible skills of a quarterback. - He could go three for five. - He's the most accurate passer. I think he's more accurate throwing a basketball than all but like five quarterbacks are throwing a football. Like, he's more accurate than every quarterback in the NFL except like five. - I like these, I like these side experiments. - Like, I'm talking full court. Like, the things when he's under one baseline that throws it to the other are more accurate than 25 quarterbacks every single week. - This reminds me of a argument I had with my buddy Jackson. You guys know Jackson. Way back in like high school, I think it was. And his argument was that WWE wrestlers are the best. I think it was at first it was like, they're the best athletes on earth. And then he thinks that and we had an argument that who's better athlete? WWE wrestlers or the best skateboarders on earth. And it's like one of those ones where it's like, how do you fucking answer this question? - Yeah, they're so different. - Yeah. I'm like, I think the best athletes are skateboarders which I don't know if I had necessarily believed that but like think about how the degree of difficulty it is to do like a fucking 360 flip onto a grind of a frickin' rail down 16 stairs or whatever. It's like, how do you fucking do that? - Well, I don't think of you. - And Rey Mysterio's got to do a 360 flip onto another person on a mat, right? - Take within Jackson's take is that that's something the skateboarder would say to get them talking about skateboarding 'cause no one wants to talk about it with them. - Right. - That's something you say in your 40s when you want to talk about skateboarding. And you want to talk about that you skateboarded and they don't. - No, this was like from high school but it just reminds me of that we had that argument with time. And I don't know what, I don't know genuinely in my heart what the answer is. - Yeah, you just start talking about what it is. - Think some of the top pro skateboarders are like incredible athletes. - I don't think Yokech in six months could be a starting NFL, right? - Six months, six months is a weird time. Let's say it was a full year 'cause I acknowledge weirdly for me the rules. It's give full year. - He's got to move with the goalposts. - I think my point is, I guess let me rephrase. How much time do you think Yokech would need to be better than Kyler Murray's been for the Vikings this year? How much time would he need to have spent practicing football? And again, let me make it whenever you want to pick Yokech's primus. 'Cause I don't think it's four years. - I don't know, I don't know. I don't know how to answer that question. - Like Jaylen Daniels came in and beat the Dallas Cowboys as an undrafted rookie. And I know he'd played, but fucking Yokech is like a foot taller than him. - I know, but has Yokech ever held a football? Like, does he know the rules? - He would take him like two weeks to run to throw a football. Like maybe two hours. - Two weeks. - And you have to see him throw a basketball. He can throw a basketball behind his back. More accurately than fucking Daniel Jones can with forward. - I know, but I feel like you more than anybody talks about how underratedly still, how underratedly difficult it is to play quarterback and how much goes into that. Him being able to learn how to like throw a deep ball is like cool, but I don't know if he can play quarterback in the NFL. - But it's the same thing. - Yokech is pro day. - Yokech is pro day. - No, it's not. - But I'm saying, no, he's putting everything into it. I'm like, they can teach him. You have to run a college style offense. You have to make it simple for him totally. - Sure, okay, regardless. Isn't playing football like, I don't know, 200 times more complicated than throwing a javelin? Maybe 200,000, I admit that. But that's all they're doing is throwing javelins. I don't know. He's not throwing a javelin. He might not be able to, I don't know. - DK, what do you think? - What about what? - Is it more likely that Nicolay Yokech could be a starting NFL quarterback or that LeBron James could win a bronze medal in javelin? - Probably the bronze medal. - Okay, thank you, DK, thank you, Craig. Thank you to Nicolay Yokech. I don't know about six months, but I think you could do it. - Thank you, Cam, thank you to Kill. Thank you Austin, thank you everyone for listening. Emils, stupid court arguments, I want fantasy court. I want stupid court. - I've never had more fun than doing stupid court. - I know. - Stupid court's great. - My friend thinks he can teleport is all time. Emils, stupid court. - Essentially teleport. - Well, he says he can essentially teleport. - Emils, stupid questions. Thank you, Lauren. - Lauren, all right, songs you were rationally hate new theme month, I had lovely day by Bill Withers, the world's most annoying song. And DK had dropped it like it's hot by Snoop Dogg. - Yeah. - And now I have it set up. - You know what song just does nothing for me? Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morris. - Oh my lord. - There are so many old songs I just like reveal. - And that one comes on and it's like, (singing) - Oh, real original. - What? - Dude, dude, dude, please. - Melody? - It's an iconic melody. - I know. And I just don't know what I hate it. I just don't fucking give a shit. - That's what I like. - Also it's called Brown Eyed Girl. - Also it's irrational. - Well yeah, it's irrational. It's called Brown Eyed Girl. There's like three billion of those. - Well, he's obviously writing about a specific person that he likes. - Sure. And I bet he forgot her fucking name. - He had her in his cell phone as well. - So you really don't like that song? - Wow, do you dislike Van Morrison in general or just this song? - No, I don't think I dislike Van Morrison. I just, that song, people are recoiling right now. - I'm sure they are. - I love that song. - I don't even get mad when people are like, yeah, old music's better than new music. There are so many older songs that I reveal in love and are classics. And I just feel like, I can't tell sometimes what songs are great and what songs have just been foisted upon me. You hear them so many times. And frankly, there were less avenues for people to hear songs back in the day. And so what we're just ubiquitous versus actually good. And yes, people were like, oh, it's not as good as music. Much music now. Yeah, but there's like so many more, the competition's harder in a way. And like this song, I'm like, if I, hey guys, like I have a song I wrote and I showed you it. I feel like you would think that it sucks. Truthfully. - This is one of those. Yeah, I like that the way that you put that because like, I'm sure there's so many songs now. We're like, okay, explain it to me. And then you're like, oh, that sounds terrible. - Yeah. - Oh no, I think he's not saying like the lyrics age poorly. I think he's saying that like the song is simple. - No, that's kind of what I'm saying, yeah. - I was like, hey guys, like I made this song. We give it a listen, I want to let you think. And I think you turn to each other whisperably. It sucks what we say. - I think there are other songs in which I would agree with that argument. I don't think that's the case for Brown and Girl. - I agree with that, yeah. - But I get what you mean, generally. - Can you put your finger on why you don't like it? Or is it just kind of like you just doesn't-- - Do you remember when we used the sing, shout out loud, you don't like that? - That's it, it's to do the shout out thing. - You don't have to shout out loud. - To the fucking shout out loud. - La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. - It does kind of seem like he just didn't, couldn't come up with any lyrics there. And he was like-- - I just feel like I'm like listening and I'm like, this is it, shout out loud, la, la, la, la. - It's one of those songs to me that's just really happy and joyful. - So yeah, yeah, totally, yeah. - And hyphotates that. (laughing) - This is good, this is good. This one I did not see coming. - No. - Brown, this is like a true classic. - Yeah. - Yes, fell off the waterfall with you. Brown and I, girl. - This is great. - This is according to the Morrison Wikipedia. He says, "It's not one of my best. I've got about 300 songs that I think are better." (laughing) - 300, go! - 300. - Go! - That is, I, yeah. - Maybe Hensis is onto something here. I've got about 300 that are better. - Do you know how many people were listening where like get a cancel of me and mad and now they don't know what to do? Fucking Van Morrison's on my side. - That's really funny. I've got about 300. - Well, the rest of the world disagrees, but you and Van, Van, me, Van Morrison, Van Morrison. - He's probably fucking sick of singing it, to be honest. I bet you most artists hate their most popular songs. - Oh, yeah. - I wonder, it must be so odd to write a huge hit. Like I think about Taylor Swift writing, you know, "So many songs, so live your hour, you go at 16." And you're like, "You're gonna do that when you're 80." And it's like, it must be weird to just do the same thing over and over and you're like, "Yeah." - As we have the same conversation for the seventh time. - But we don't remember it. That's different. - It's funny. - That's true. We don't remember it. - How can a day, everything was simpler. So it's like, was it good or was it just there? And then I think of a song like Call Me Maybe. And I'm like, "Ah." It's not like we're exactly getting that much more. - Right, right. - Intricate and interesting. Hey, I just met you and this is crazy. Or what about her other song? I really, really, really, really, really, really like you, massive hit. (laughing) I'm sure she hates singing those too. - Greg, do the Friday song. That one's a hit. - Well, that one was like, actually, now internet bullying. She was 13 years old. - Yeah. - Yeah. - That was fucking crazy and Reggie's okay. I'm sorry. It was a funny song. - She became so funny. - Fuck you. - You the child. - The 13 year old. - The final video on the entire world was like, "You suck!" - Six years from now, Calvin makes a little music video for fun, puts it on YouTube. It becomes a global sensation. And then 20 years after that, some other fucking podcasters like, "That's all fucking suck." - Today's show is just like, "What an abomination, young lady." - We find all, imagine that, Greg, Jesus. (laughing) - Like, Greg and I, it was fine 'cause we were like, also 13. But in retrospect, That was really weird. - Just sing it, I just want to hear it. - Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday. Everybody's looking forward to the weekend party and party and yeah, fun, fun, fun, fun, looking forward to the weekend. I can't believe I know that, but that's kind of fun, fun, fun. - See, she fucked up. She should have just done, "Shallah, la, la, la, la." - It's true, you know? - That would have been great. Everyone would love that. Well, you've been worse than that fucking comment sections. My god. ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo ♪ That's nice, come on. - Yeah. - It's all downhill from there. - Okay. - God. Goodbye, everyone. (upbeat music) ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, do you know what I mean? - 21+ in present and select states for Kansas and affiliation with Kansas, 1-888-789-7777, or visit ccpg.org/chat in Connecticut, or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here, visit gamblinghelplinema.org, or call 800-327-5050 for 24/7 support in Massachusetts, or call 1-877-8 Hope-NY or text Hope-NY in New York for Louisiana, call 1-877-770-7867.