Mid-West Fans, Withdrawal Dreams, Youth Sports Corruption | Monday Morning Podcast 9-28-26

Thumbtack presents Home Overwhelm. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, September 28th, 2026. What's going on? How are ya? How's it going, man? How you doing? Yeah, that's awesome. Oh, fucking Billy Freckles. I cannot pick an NFL game to save my life. And it'd be one thing. If it was the usual, like I wasn't watching, blaming the kids, we had protection issues, you know, just coming up. I am watching. I'm home. I am watching the games. I am gathering information. And off of the things that I'm seeing, I'm making what I feel is an educated guess. And I cannot, I can't pick a fucking game. Just getting fucking destroyed. I had, who did I have? I had the goddamn Packers. Packers. Atlanta Falcons, fucking DOA, the first two weeks, all of a sudden, you know, Tua goes down. Then they bring in their backup, fucking Steve DeBerg, whoever it is, he comes in. They're running backs, running wild, fucking Packers. They go and they, not only did they cover, they beat them. Then I took the fucking Cincinnati Bengals, knowing the Steelers always playing difficult, but I just kept looking at Aaron Rodgers' face. Every time he was going to the sidelines, he had this look on his face where it's just like, I don't need to look at the iPad. I know what's going on. I understand football. You guys don't. That was his energy. And I'm like, well, you're not going to fucking cover a three and a half spread with that shit going on. You know, like you ever see a couple and you know they're in a fight, even though they're trying to act like they're cool. You can, you know, they just got out of the car. They're exchanging pleasantries, but there's a hoarseness to their voice. It's like, okay, yeah, things got elevated right through the final red light. And now they're just, they're just, can we just keep going there and be adults? Yeah, I was getting those vibes. So I took Joe Burrow and the, uh, and the Bengals and, uh, Steelers won. That was over. Who else? Who the fuck else? You know, my, my day isn't over yet, but it feels like it is. Who else did I pick this week? You guys can all laugh at me. I had the Packers. I had the Bills. Did they cover? And then the Cardinals. I don't know. I've lost like six fucking games in a row. You know, I was watching the Patriots today. Oh, wait, wait. I watched a bunch of football. I watched college football yesterday. I watched, uh, who did I see? I watched Michigan, Iowa. Um, that shit show. Once again, hey, you know, there's eight minutes left in the game. Why kick an extra point when you can go for a two point conversion and not get it? Because the analytics say, like, what is the fucking analytics on? How many fucking times you're going to go for a two point conversion, not get it and lose the game by one? You know, I mean, I guess, you know, Iowa threw one last second. They scored. If they, Michigan kicks the extra point and they tie it, then Iowa, if they make their extra point, they would have been tied. But they didn't have to kick the extra point. I just don't fucking get it. Wake Forest game against Louisville. They go, the analytics let it go for the two point conversion. They kicked the extra point. Guess what happened? They won the fucking game. I said it before and I'll say it again. It's a two point conversion. You have to score another touchdown. You have to score back to back touchdowns. That's what a two point conversion is. Everybody gets in there. Oh, it's just two points. Like it's a little fucking whoop-dee-doo. No, it's another touchdown. Good luck to you. Then I watched the Florida Gators bring Ole Miss down to earth. I also watched, what did I watch? Texas, Tennessee. But then I had to go to a, I think, what the fuck did I have to go to? A kid birthday party? What did we do yesterday? No, I went to my daughter's baseball game to start the day. Oh, that's why I can't remember the day. You know, they started early. She had the early game. And oh my God, seeing her out there in the uniform, it just, it was amazing. It was fucking amazing. And she's got a great arm. She's great at fielding and all of that. And she was up there, you know, got a hit. You know, I'm trying to, you know, something that they never taught me, taught me Little League, you know, was your hips go first and your arms, your hands stay back. I never knew what the, I've heard that for years, hands stay back. I never knew what it was. So I finally, you know, my back foot always came up like I was following through on a golf shot. You know, I was like, oh my God. And I would watch the major league guys saying that back leg stays down. So I've been working with her on that, but I don't know. It was just, you know, I just see how happy she is. She loves wearing the uniform and she's, it's just awesome. So I did that. So I missed a little bit of some of these games. And then on Sunday, I watched my Patriots as I always do. And everybody's fucking jumping all over Drake May. Three games in to a 17 game season. Last year, three games in. Did anybody think the Patriots were going to the Super Bowl? Dude, I'm listening to these announcers talking about Drake May and his fucking confidence. And it's all fucking shot. It's like, guys, we had issues with our offensive line last year. Okay. We didn't make any moves to fix that. We had issues that he had nobody to throw to. We worked on that. And Troy Brown, our number one guy or whatever, whatever the fuck his name is, he gets hurt. Our offensive line was getting blown up, whether we were trying to run it or throw it. You can't get into a rhythm and that fucks with you. Drake looked great the first three playoff games until we ran into Seattle. And they were just blowing through our fucking offensive line. And he was still trying to get the early game yips out in the third quarter. That's not his fault. So don't listen to these guys. They're a bunch of ball-watching morons. All right. We have no running game. We have no passing game today. We got totally dominated on the offensive line. And then guess what happens? You start getting threes and outs. And then your defense starts getting tired. And everybody starts, oh, we don't have any fucking defense either. It's all fucking connected. The knee bone's connected to the leg bone, right? We got to have time. Here's some brilliant football analysis. If you don't have time to throw the fucking ball, if your offensive line can't get some fucking holes for the running backs to run through, your defense is going to spend most of the game on the field. And everybody's going to look terrible. So, you know, we had a lot of drama during the off seasons. You know, we're trying to calm the seas out there. So basically, my analysis on the New England Patriots so far is everybody fucking, relax. The regular season goes until January. All right? Drake Mays like what? In his third fucking season, he's already gone to a Super Bowl. I'm not throwing him out the window three games in. Because some fucking man-titted cunt with a fucking smartphone wrote an article or is saying some shit. All right? We're still in September. You know what it is about fucking people that say shit like that? They're quitters. They quit. And then they project that onto other people. They don't see like, hey, man, in order to be successful, you got to fall down a bunch of times. Anybody can fall down, but can you get back up? That's what it is. Trevor Lawrence looked great. Beautiful man. You know, best hair since Farrah Fawcett. I'm jealous as hell, the bald bastard that I am. He had all the time in the world. All the time in the world. I'm not taking anything away. Their fucking offensive line and their defensive line were way beyond what the fuck we had. And guess what? All of a sudden, their running backs can go through our defense. This is all basic shit. It's all basic shit. I did catch the end of the Jets versus the Lions. Congratulations to the Lions. And congratulations to the Jets. They're playing competitive, exciting fucking football. And I don't know. I'm happy the Jets are fucking good. I'm not one of these fucking hating ass fucking people. You know what I mean? Like, look, it comes down to it. Jets versus the Patriots. Obviously, I'm for the Patriots. But like, I can't sit there and look at Jets fans looking like fucking basset hounds every fucking year. You know, at some point, let them up off the mat. something to cheer about. Speaking of that, Red Sox-Yankees, October baseball doesn't get any better than that for me. I'm very excited about that. And they were talking about how Yankee fans applauded, gave Peyton Tolley. Is that his name? Tolley? Is that how you say his name? I've been fucking buried this year. Peyton Tolley, a big round of applause, you know? Just a lovable dude. And somebody in the comments wrote, yeah, that's Yankee fans. We're like elevated, like they're higher than anybody else because they cheered for an opposing player out of respect or because they liked them. It's just like, it's just such a typical New York point of view where they're just such poorly traveled people, even on the internet. All they do is suck their own dicks. It's like, I'm a Red Sox fan. I got to tell you something right now. We could learn some manners from St. Louis Cardinals. Fans, they don't boo their own players. They give people a chance. Like Midwest fans are way more elevated. Okay. Like, what are we doing here? Philly fans, New York fans, Boston fans, Jersey fans. We're fucking animals. Bills fans are a bunch of fucking animals. They're animals. We're animals. All right. Let's not be patting ourselves on the back. All right. Fucking just. Relax. I mean, from. Didn't somebody in the upper deck of Yankee Stadium one time throw a knife down at somebody? Okay. You also did that. Jesus. That's back when they were just burning the Bronx down for the insurance fucking money. All those stupid landlords in a fucking panic attack. If they just fucking wrote it out. They just wrote it out. Who would have known? All the lightning that they had up there. Also, I went to my first WNBA game. I don't want to butcher this woman's last name, but it was her last game. It was my wife's idea. I took my daughter there. My son, my whole family went out. We had such a fucking great time. Great vibes. Talk about great vibes. From the fan base. WNBA game, man. It was fantastic. And I got to tell you something. I was watching the shoot around. And they were as accurate. It looked like an NBA shoot around. During the game, it falls apart a little bit, but it's still, you know. They get the funding. They start making some money. They fucking go to sleep, you know, holding on to the basketball. Because there's a million dollars at the end of the fucking rainbow. I mean, it's dribbling a basketball. It's shooting a basketball. This is not trying to like bench press 700 pounds. Like, women are going to be able to handle the ball and shoot. Just as good. If they put the fucking time in. Which I think is going to happen the more and more they put money into the sport. But I will say this. Watching the goddamn game. When the game started, they weren't as accurate. But I was watching the shoot around. Like, they were taking NBA threes in like the same amount that were going in. It looked like before an NBA game. My issue with the WNBA game is the first quarter looked like an NBA game. Both teams came out. It was the LA Sparks. Versus the Golden State Valkyries. They both come out. They're fucking ice cold. Ice fucking cold. And what do they do? They just keep launching three-pointers. Launching three-pointers. It's like, what's wrong with the fucking 12-footer? Okay, the same way I go. People got to get their fucking heads around the math here. A two-point conversion, you have to score another touchdown. Now, let's see. Let's talk about the three-pointer. A three-pointer is 23 feet, nine inches away from a fucking layup. And it's only worth one more point. What the fuck are we doing? I swear to God, I watched that first quarter and I had the same fucking thought I had watching the NBA. It's like, I feel like I could coach a team to a championship with just taking 10, 12-footers. First of all, they have that stupid. Three-second rule on the defensive player, too. There's nobody underneath. It's the TSA fucking pre-check line. Just start driving the fucking lane. There's nobody there. Layup. Stop taking 23-feet, nine-inch fucking shots. You can take a zero-foot shot, a dunk, and all you get penalized is one less point. You let the fucking math. You let the team who can't even play the fucking game take all the beauty out of the game. No pick and rolls. No big men battling underneath. I swear to God, if I was commissioner of the NBA, I would get rid of the three-second rule on defense in the paint. And I would get rid of the three-point line. And I would say, go back to playing fucking basketball. I don't want to watch some seven-foot-four person taking a fucking his 10-three-pointer of the quarter. All right. Sorry. You know, full disclosure, I had my second fucking, I just drank a fucking Cortado. A free one, too. That's how many times I go to this fucking shop. You know, it's like the old blockbuster. You know, you rent every James Bond by the time you get to Casino Royale. Like, all right, just, yeah, here you go. The way they used to, a mom-and-pop place. That's what I would do to improve the NBA game, to actually bring back the, the beauty of the game, the physicality of the game. And you could actually see somebody dunk on somebody. Now what happens is they go in. Occasionally somebody seems, I mean, I know sometimes they dunk on people, but not nearly as much. They fucking come in and the person they're going to dunk on starts running out of frame because they don't want to end up on Instagram. That's, that's, that's my goddamn opinion. All right. And I'm, I'm, I'm sticking with it. All right. Until you guys can hit a fucking 12-footer, okay, can do some backdoor passing, a little fucking give and go, a fucking pick and roll, get a big guy fucking posting up in the middle, feeding the big man, battling the other big. Until you fucking do that again, you don't get your three-point line back. That's it. All right. Or what I would do is I'd have the three-point line. Okay. The three-point line lights up the final two minutes of every quarter. That's it. That's it. And other than that, you're just somebody taking a long two-point thing so we can actually get people down low. We can watch people play basketball instead of it looking like a fucking shoot-around. It looks like a guarded shoot-around. All right, Bill. You've said your things. Okay. I've made my peace. College, I have no beef with college football. I don't care. They're paying the players. I don't give a fuck. You want to make these super conferences? Fine. The kids make it a million dollars. I don't give a shit that he has a fucking six-hour Southwest flight. They were never there for the education anyway. They were there to make the fucking school money. Anyway, I got the Chicago Theater, everybody. Unfortunately, I had to move the Sunday show to Wednesday because the premiere of The Social Race, Reckoning, in New York City was on Sunday, and I have to be there. So I apologize to everybody. We gave refunds to people who couldn't make it. And so there are some tickets still left for the Wednesday show. Thursday, Friday is sold out, and I think there's still a few left for the second show Saturday. I cannot fucking wait to get out there. This is literally, it's like, wait, I think Thursday I'm in Detroit. That's what it is. Thursday, I'm in Detroit doing a casino. Oh, that's what happened. I was supposed to fly to Detroit, go across into Canada, do the casino, then fly to Chicago, and I was doing Friday, Saturday, Sunday. So now it's become Wednesday in Chicago, Thursday just into Canada, Friday and Saturday in Chicago, and then Sunday I'm in New York. That's how it is. On October 17th, I'm in Mesa. Arizona with Tom Segura and Rachel Feinstein, two of my favorite comedians out there. Just total originals, headliners in their own right. So I'm going to have to follow that heat, in the heat of Arizona. Looking forward to that. And as always, if you guys got any good coffee shops, you can recommend me in any of those places. I am, I'm all ears. So, oh, Billy, no weed. Oh, Billy got out. I'm in control with the weed, and I don't like, you know, stuff having control of me. And I got to tell you, man, like, the chemicals, the THC, the shit they're putting in this stuff, dude, I am, like, coming up on, it'll be two weeks tomorrow. And I still keep having, like, I've had a couple of fucking weird-ass dreams. Fucking, listen to this dream. I'm not going to say who it was. It was a friend of mine that plays in a band. you guys would all know, someone I've met over the years, right and uh and no it's not scott ian from anthrax who i just had on my podcast who was a fucking incredible guest and a great person too um and i have my favorite part of that interview he was talking about when you know the first drummer in their band and they had this band where they would play like obscure covers and uh of like well-known uh bands or whatever like say like you're into acdc but rather than playing you shook me all night long you don't even play back in black you don't play shoot the thrill you don't play you don't play uh hell's bells you play have a drink on me you know oh what's that last one on the first side um you let me put my love into you baby yeah they play obscure shit well the first drummer they had he would play shit the tempo would be too fast and i said to him i said did that drive you guys nuts he said no we all liked it we liked playing fast and just sort of that guy you know his adrenaline going and causing him to play it at a faster tempo than the record and then them discovering that they liked it you know because there was no speed metal bands it wasn't even a thing like these guys were part of the big four that came up with it he was telling the story of how this happy accident you know led to this thing you know just like chocolate chip cookies i mean it was a complete act speed metal was a complete fucking accident anyway i got like i love hearing stories about that but it wasn't him it was somebody else in a different band so i had this fucking you know weed withdrawal just let you know my weed smoke and got to the point where it was like almost every night and i would take two or three puffs so i still feel like i was a kind of like you know i was like you know as far as my tolerance like i like if it was a gummy i was like a five milligram person and uh i didn't like doing 10 i would just be like fucked up so i'm a lightweight and even with this lightweight shit i am like two weeks into this stuff i'm still having these fucking bouts of like depression like waves of depression or like irritability really came in this week and uh and the first week was like anxiety but they say that you have like these vivid fucked up dreams the only one i can remember was i had this i had this dream uh i was at this um i was at a party at this this musician's house and it was funny it was he was there and all of his kids were there but all of his kids look like this musician at different ages except one of them who like looked like him but for some reason had eyelashes that were like dyed blonde and they look like like a venus fly trap when he was blinking it was fucking weird so i'm over at the dude's house and there's a bunch of off-duty cops there music is playing and they want me to go up like outside and do stand-up and it's like yeah dude i'm not fucking doing this everybody's wasted like this is like a hell gig so the cops were mad that i wasn't doing that and then for some reason i had to go to downtown la and i took a sip of this drink and i started like feeling a little weird so i get on the subway out here in la which then was kind of new york and uh you know i wasn't hanging on to anything and then all of a sudden the train kind of came was coming to a stop and rather than reaching out to grab something i started like stumbling through the train not fast but i was sort of spinning as i was tumbling and everybody i went by i was going oh i'm sorry sorry about that sorry sorry sorry and then i was like i need to get off this train and i saw my stop go by i missed my stop so i go to get off on the next stop and all of a sudden there's like this three foot gap between the subway and the platform so and i almost had like vertigo and my head was feeling like i was under the influence of something so i like sort of like rolled off the train and then was like hanging onto the platform so i wouldn't fall onto the track as the train left and then finally i got back to the party and the musician told me that the cops were all pissed at me because i wasn't going to do stand-up and they all thought i was a pussy and then i just finally said to the guy i was like dude i gotta be honest with you i think somebody put something in my drink and he just snapped his finger and he pointed at me and everybody cheered like they were all waiting for me to figure it out that i had been roofied and that was the end of the dream so i am like uh two weeks into this and i found once a fucking gen i got my dumb ass addicted to something but like i'm not like i like i've never been billy rehab or billy aa i'm not that far but i have fucking problems i gotta keep shit out of the house like i don't have any cigars in the house so i don't not smoking cigars right now so like i'm not smoking cigars right now so i'm not smoking cigars right now like you know i kept doing these fucking stand-up shows and these weed people would show up and they'd give you a whole bag of you know here's some shit you grind up here's some pre-rolls here's some blah blah blah and i had a whole drawer full of this shit and then all of a sudden i'm just smoking oh billy fucking three puffs and uh it got to the point just like my drinking well i was like i don't want to do this i'm not doing this tonight i'm not doing it and then there i am lightning up and then i was just like god damn it now i gotta go through this shit again right so i'm two weeks into it and um you know i'll be fine you know i just i guess it takes like a month to get all this shit out of it but if you're like so anyway so i go on the fucking internet and i start looking up all of the uh sorry peeking into the air conditioner it was just getting fucking hot here because you know it's 90 degrees out into fucking october out here and the uh billionaires are just gonna keep fucking making ai even though everybody's saying we need to slow it down they're so busy competing it's like toxic competitiveness with each other and it's just like all right i just at this point you know the zen thought is you don't stress out over what you can't control um you know i guess we're gonna have to wait and see what happens next but i'm just just gonna have a science fiction ending that's all right it's all right it's all right what are we gonna do it is i and i really have to feel like this is what's supposed to happen you know like we were supposed to there's a beginning and a middle and an end and like the reason why there's sociopaths and narcissists and just like i don't know selfish fucking people out there they are they are are here so that our time on earth can end and then something else can have can have a crack at it you know and i really feel like this has happened over and over and over and over and over again and i'm willing to bet that the earth is even older than what the fucking scientists have been able to figure out by digging into the ground i think all they're digging into is what was what came out of after the last people fucked it up like i've had a theory for a long time of course this is based in a summer school education that water is the toxic waste from the last fucking people that fucked up the planet this was their plastic this was their nuclear waste or whatever and we just grew out of it i know none of that makes sense but that's just what i think so anyway okay uh to wherever the fuck i was at um i went on the internet and uh i was just watching all of these videos on people quitting weed and what they're going through now a lot of these people that like you know the people that have like ridiculously high tolerances like uh which to me is anything nothing north of 10 milligrams like if you can take a 20 and still have a conversation go to work with 20 milligrams in you and you're just like you know and then i'm projected in the fourth quarter we feel blah blah blah blah blah like that to me is like a head like any sort of wake and bake person dude these people were talking about the withdrawals they went through it was like listening to fucking somebody kicking heroin so uh i don't know my whole life growing up they said that we were listening to fucking people kicking heroin so uh i don't know my whole life growing up we were listening to fucking people kicking heroin so uh i don't know my whole life growing up but now that it's legal and big corporations are making money off of it i mean they made doritos addictive so that's how they anything you ingest they make a addictive, you know, so I imagine that whatever they're putting into it, which you're never going to know, they're never going to tell you, it's probably really not good for you, I'm not going to lie to you, after a really fucking stressful day, you know, having a drink, having a puff of weed, smoking a cigar, was something that I enjoyed, but I don't have the ability, I just wish I had the ability to just have a fucking glass of wine, and drink it, and enjoy it, and just go, like, yes, that was, you know, I wish I had the ability to eat a fucking couple of Oreos, I just can't fucking do it, I just gotta ramp it up. Fucking, fucking sucks, but I, you know, but anyway, I don't, I don't think about drinking anymore, but I'm almost eight years into not drinking, so I just gotta, I don't know what I'm gonna do, I don't know what the fuck to do with this shit, I think I'm gonna treat it like cigars, well, look at me, I keep treating cigars, like cigars, and then I keep fucking going back to Billy One a day, and then I gotta shut it down, and I don't smoke for fucking three months, it's just, I don't know, that's what my life has basically become, my, my life has been, just become, like, okay, I'm not addicted to this, but now I'm addicted to that, now let me stop this, and then I'm addicted, it just goes from one thing to another, I was thinking of, like, trying to do something for, like, a week, but I can't, because, I'm self-employed, like, what if, like, for a whole week, I am, I just live like I did when, before I, I ever had any sort of substance, like, you know, Billy 12-year-old, no cell phone, no coffee, no weed, no booze, no cigars, nothing, like, then what, then what happens, then what happens is I gotta go outside and do something, that's why you went out and played, you weren't fucking high, you go ride your bike, you go play some sports, I don't know, but I'll tell you, man, I am fucking squirrely right now, uh, all right, let's get into the, uh, anybody else trying to kick this fucking, kick, kicking weed, like, we're talking about heroin here, anybody else who thought they, uh, no, I'm a casual, I'm a casual fucking person, and then all of a sudden you go to stop, and you're like, give me drugs, give me drugs, remember that, the greatest John Travolta fucking, uh, Vinnie Barbarino episode, when Horseshack gets addicted to the pills, give me drugs, give me drugs, um, all right, true work, everybody, uh, the T1 work pant has become a warm weather staple on job sites for a reason, lightweight, breathable, and built for four-way stretch, it moves with you through long 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Oh, cool, only two reads, I love it, okay, on to you guys, reading to me's, here's your questions here for the week, oh, look at the first one, New Tiger Stadium, I'm talking about this, you know, how they, you know, keep talking about they need a new stadium so they can compete, they don't need a new stadium, they need to draft better, get better coaches, have a better GM and a better owner, the new stadium doesn't do anything, it does absolutely nothing other than make the value of the team go up, the owners to make more money, and for you to have all your tax dollars that could have helped out public schools, giving you health care and all this shit, go to these fucking assholes. Um, all right, hey, Billy Nipslip, I just heard about the new name for Tiger Stadium, currently Comerica Park, starting next season, it will be Fifth Third Park. What the hell, the person says, naming stadiums after banks is gross enough, but on top of that, this one sounds ridiculous, yeah, Fifth Third Park is weird. Jack White had a hilarious and angry Instagram post about it, mentioning how it sounds like something Sylvester the Cat would say. Pretty spot on. Dude, Jack White, by the way, is low-key fucking hilarious. He did some movie, I just saw a clip of it, where he played Elvis, he was amazing as an actor, as everything that he does is amazing. Anyway, P.S., another great underrated 70s movie is Figures in a Landscape. I never heard of that. It's basically just Robert Shaw and Malcolm McDowell. Now, that's Quint from Jaws and Malcolm McDowell from. um um clockwork orange running from a mysterious helicopter through an unnamed country with almost no context strange exciting and captivating oh and i love the fucking metaphor for that big brother or fucking freaking out on drugs anyhow thanks for all the laughs i will definitely check that out i will say right now i am on a um i'm on a big music kick too um i've been listening to a bunch of bill evans and as much as miles davis has always been my guy as far and all the musicians that he played with um there's something about the emotion that bill evans plays with that i i i don't know it just gets me and i i like it in the morning or at night anytime i need to like chill anytime i'm sad anytime i'm hopeful i put on his stuff and it's just incredible um i recommend the album everybody digs uh bill evans which by the way there's a movie that came out about his life this past year that i really want to watch that is called everybody digs bill evans and it's about that period of time where um i think that's the album that he recorded live at the village vanguard and right after i don't want to ruin the movie but right after that a tragedy hits him that causes him to stop playing piano and blah blah blah blah blah so i actually tempted to watch that tonight although my lovely wife and i i told you downloaded that series dallas um and we are now into the second season and we just watch one or two episodes a night and um it is so fucking funny how much my wife is into it like she is talking to the tv like she does when she used to watch real housewives and i laughed last night i go oh my god you are so fucking ridiculously into the show and she started laughing she's like fuck you so are you i go no no i i am i'm totally into it i'm loving it but you know my wife is like the coolest knows where to eat knows all the music knows all the spots every once in a while i have an idea or a plan or something so i was just happy that you know she got into it so we've been uh we've been watching that um anyway um all right yeah that is fifth third park fifth third is where enough it's weird enough i'm picturing sylvester the cat saying th to th man there's a lot of hard shit in there then the rk fifth third park that you know what that is that's like the fucking you know wheel of fortune is like the cheapest fucking game show out there like they don't want anybody to win the grand prize in the end this is like the final thing like um the final puzzle you'd have to solve fifth third park oh i'm sorry it's fifth third park like that's that's the kind of shit that they would do in the end like nobody's getting that um all right lizards infiltrating kids sports uh hey billy bulbous balls um i i guess it's alliteration and insulting my body i have no idea all right how do you know what my balls look like um bulbous wait a minute i thought that meant swollen does that mean like colorful hang on a second to match my personality bulbous they spell it right ah jeez i gotta turn i gotta turn the internet back on i gotta turn it back on all right bulbous is that means fat round or bulging often resembling a plant all right by the way did anybody i don't know where the fuck i was but did anybody see robert plant come out with his band and do that on um on uh uh oh fuck whose talk show was it i can't on one of these fucking talk shows i was death scrolling or whatever stephen colbert and he did his uh version of uh ramble on a zeppelin tomb it was amazing here's something right here you know when people like everybody's trying to get fucking plastic surgery and just i don't know they're afraid of looking their age or something like that if you want to see how it's done look at fucking robert plant guy has just aged gracefully he's acted his age he has a sense of humor about it he's just like i don't know i don't know i don't care about himself and he just sang that song at the age he was at and it was absolutely gorgeous check it out if you get a chance i reposted it it might still be in my stories on uh instagram there all right billy bulbous balls uh you got kids getting right around the age where youth team sports becomes a thing so i need to go down i needed to go down this rabbit hole private investment firms are buying up youth sports yeah i know it's the whole thing is fucking ridiculous it's ridiculous they've taken all the fun out of everything let me shut off this fucking air conditioner it's loud as shit here the old rattle and hum of my fucking air conditioner um yeah it's awful they just as they've done with everything everything everything has an outfit everything has pressure in all of this stuff like sports is supposed to be a thing to be fun and before you even get into this if your kid is going to make it into the mlb people are going to see it and they're going to come find you and all of this shit where people are going out and they're getting coaches for these kids and sliding mitts and compression sleeves it's there i mean it's it's just it's stupid and then get all so you know your level of commitment to your child's sports playing future and all of this shit it's just all you're going to do is just burn them out and they're not and they're going to miss out on all the great things that you learn in sports you know handling winning and losing being a good sport being a teammate choosing the team over your own individual wants and all of that shit um and i just think the more you get into those travel teams is the more you're going to run into these toxic sports parents that used to just be like stage moms back in the day who wanted to be like stage moms and they were like under their daughter to be the beauty queen of fucking you know i don't know great the greater worcester area area i have no idea um anyway this person goes on to say that um one of the wildest examples of private investment firms buying up youth sports is murray gunty founder of black bear sports called the black bear sports group and black street capital holdings uh black bear has bought up nearly 50 ice rinks but they also own youth hockey clubs league tournament yeah dude like this is not capitalism this is monopolies are not capitalism and anytime they try to stop monopolies all they say is everybody this is socialism and then maybe it's like communism what's gonna happen next vans are gonna pull up and just grab people off the street you never see him again oh wait that's already happening yeah but that's illegal aliens that's not gonna happen to us oh no you got nothing to worry about you're eventually going in the van you fucking idiots um unless you just keep sucking the corporate cock um all right black bear has brought down bought nearly 50 ice rinks they also own youth hockey clubs leagues tournaments scoring software streaming and merchandise their co-president tony zazowski has basically described the strategy as keeping as much of the money as possible inside their ecosystem yeah there's nothing this is how everybody's doing business now these people i swear to god i swear to god it's it's beyond they need to be broken up like something needs to happen to these people like they have to go to jail you got to start putting these greedy cunts in jail that's what needs to happen this is not free enterprise this is dominating a market and creating a toxic you're just making the herd run i fucking hate these people they're not human beings who would do this to kids who creates an ecosystem in youth sports um um anyway uh and it's much bigger than hockey kkr bought varsity brands for 4.75 billion eq eqt bought img academy for 1.25 billion brand velocity group co-found co-founded by eli manning recently acquired rcx sports i'm surprised that professional athlete is involved in this they usually speak out against it which operates official youth programs for the nfl nba wnba nhl mlb and mls i'm going to predict this right now what's going what you're going to get in there is you're going to get a bunch of toxic people burning kids out they're going to get an unbelievable amount of injuries they're going to need therapy after it and then not to mention that you're going to if they dominate it and this is where all the kids are guess what else is going to show up all the fucking predators and pedophiles and all of that type of shit it's just this is it's not it's not good uh congress actually held a hearing in june called field of fees private equities role in the commercialization of american unionists youth sports i'm a strength coach and a new dad and the more i read about this the more it feels like lizard people discovered the final untapped market parents who will spend almost anything if they think it gives their kid an opportunity would generally love to hear your take on it yeah i am anti-travel team um but i also am at the very beginning i don't know if it's inevitable if i want my kids to keep playing organized sports i have to tell you and i think a lot of people will attest did you ever when you were growing up did you ever have more fun than just getting together with your childhood friends playing pickup hockey on a pond did you ever have more fun just playing pitchers poison when you could actually just go to a fucking baseball they were just public and if you got there first you could just play and if more kids showed up and then you played each other pick up hoop you know all of it we used to play um in my hometown we started playing this game every friday after school tackle football in high school and we would come in on monday just talking about how much fun we had and it just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger to the point it literally became like 11 on 11 and uh it's the first time i ever hurt my back i was playing playing that game and um it just it was the best um i would just say you know you don't have to participate in this and um i don't know i just think it's a it's a tragedy how everything is owned by so few people now and how they just you know they're going to do this with natural resources they already have but they're going to continue on with like water and i hate to tell you this your politicians are going to sell out to these people as they always do because they they're even out of control like they you can't even uh like bribing them is legal now and it's called a gratuity and they actually have a rule though that the politician cannot get the gratuity until they do what it is the person who's going to give them the gratuity wants and all that does is just protect them from the gratuity and they're not going to get the person that's buying a politician and it happens on both sides but as long as we keep playing this game i'm white you're black we're on different teams i'm i'm blue you're red i'm west coast you're east coast all of this dumb shit is is all designed so they can keep doing this to everything um that's my take on it and um i don't know i don't know if there is a way to bring people together i don't think i don't know i i think at some point we're going to have to like the way that they're going to start shutting off the power and shit like that and fucking with the food supply we have to get organized and fuck with them the same way be like all right we're not on the internet for a week we're going to go on strike on the internet now we've shut down all of your businesses because what they have done is they put all of their peas in one fucking pot and it all hinges on us being on our phones you can in a totally non-violent no protest nobody has to get maced nobody has to get the shit kicked out of them nobody gets to be the first people they try that thing that shoots like 200 decibel sound at you and fucking makes you deaf like this is this this is the technology because they know we're eventually all going to get on the same page and rebel against this you can stay in your fucking house just i'm not i'm not participating i'm not streaming anything i'm not going to be on my phone yeah i'm taking all the tvs off my fucking wall i'm sticking them all in one fucking room and we're gonna you gotta you're gonna have to have in a fucking safe room in your fucking house where you guys can talk with your neighbors and plot to try to figure out how to stop literally 0.1 of one percent from staring this whole thing into to the abyss they're out of their fucking minds they're out of their fucking minds to the point that this shit is the shit i was talking about when i first started doing this shit i was talking about when i first started doing this shit and everybody thought it was crazy now there's mainstream people going if they don't stop this fucking ai there is a chance we could all be dead in five years this is like being said nobody says anything and they're still going after like musicians that make comments about people committing genocides they just made a comment about it and everybody gets mad at the musician it's like why don't you focus on the person that's involved in the action with the body count it's all just misdirections um so my little non-violent rebellion is i try to live as much as of an analog life as i can i i i read i go outside i swim i ride bikes i play baseball like soccer i play sports with my kids that's what i do and if some lizard people want to fucking take over all of them and make you play for pay four thousand dollars for my kid to learn how to play fucking hockey then you know i'm just gonna find a fucking frozen pond and teach them how to skate and play like i did you know that'll be their next move they'll buy up all the fucking lakes in minnesota um the way they bought up all the fucking beaches in jamaica um anyway moving on here fucked up ways to die oh okay i like this fucked up ways to die hey bill you red fuck i heard you on a recent podcast talk about the brazen bull way of torture and death where the victim is essentially cooked alive inside a metal bull you had me thinking about other fucked up ways to die have you ever heard of these methods um oh my god i i hate reading i hate reading fucking people being dude can somebody write in where we're being nice to each other uh scaphism i hate reading i hate reading fucking people being dude can somebody write in where we're being nice to each other uh scaphism i hate reading fucking people being dude can somebody write in where we're being nice to each other uh scaphism happened it's like i remember when i used to do stand-up at colleges you'd read their pamphlet and somehow they were all number one and something they would figure out how to work the numbers that they were number one and something and then you know number one community college and blah blah blah in the greater fucking part of this area because they would figure out a way that they were number one and something i don't know what but anyway i'm holding out i don't give a fuck at this point i'm just gonna be nice to people that's that's all i want to do i'm just gonna be nice i'm gonna try to help fucking people out all right that's it i'm not hating people i'm not gonna be racist i'm not gonna be nationalistic i'm not gonna be homophobic i'm not gonna fucking hate you because your political views are different than mine i'm not doing any of this shit i'm gonna say hello i'm gonna be nice to you and i'm gonna wish you i have a nice day how about that can i do that does that do anything does that do anything fucking positive um and i'm not gonna fucking stress out about shit that i cannot fucking control i'm just gonna go buddhist zen shit here the robots are coming there's nothing i can do about it um there's wildly ignorant people that are getting fucking more racist by the goddamn second that has even infiltrated stand-up comedy the amount of overt fucking racist comedians that i've seen it's just fucking it's it's fucking insane what is going on so there's nothing you can do about it so other than choose to not be that so that's that's what the fuck i'm doing and i watch sports if i can figure out how to do it if anybody can tell me figure out how to fucking tape a game um on youtube let me know because i'm trying to figure it out i don't know how to do it i can't figure it out they always say go into the fucking settings and click on this and then click on i always click on it and the next thing they say to click on is not there and then i got to figure out well when was this information given do i not have the new one do i have the old one or is this the old thing but i have the new thing and then i just say you know what i don't give a fuck there used to be two football games on when i was a kid the one o'clock and the four o'clock you're going to be the one o'clock and the then somebody into division do i need to look at all the fucking games am i an analyst no just watching the pats all right and i believe in drake may i believe in our coach i believe in our offensive line we're gonna fucking turn it around everybody relax that's it that's the podcast go fuck yourselves and i'll check in on you on thursday Thank you.