Michelle Buteau on Being “Too Much” and Turning It Into a Superpower

Today we are surviving and thriving, and that's something my next guest knows all too well. Michelle Batteau, someone who took all the things people told her to shrink, her body, her voice, her curves, and turned it into a superpower. Because who really gets to be the main character of your life? Who gets to define beauty or decide who's worthy of being seen? Michelle answered that for herself. She co-created the hit Netflix show Survival of the Thickest and made history as the first woman to film a comedy special at Radio City Music Hall. So today, we're getting into what it really means to own your story out loud. Because baby, this is Kiki Palmer. And baby, this is Michelle Batteau. So grab you a drink and a snack, you enjoy it. Get into the vibe that only one gets to know. You know it's your girl. Baby, this is, this is Kiki. Baby, this is Kiki Palmer, yeah. Hey! Hi! Hey! Can I talk to you? Can I talk to you? Yes! I had you literally back there for hours. What's going on? How are you? I'm good. You remember when I ran up on you at the airport? Yes. Yes, girl, with your kiddos. And you had your kiddos. I'm like, I love you. It was real good. Yes, girl. We were like flying first class, trying to do the most with the chocolate chip cookies. And y'all looked good. Thank you. It's a lot. It's a lot. But it's good. Especially with the kiddos. Yeah. Now, wait a minute. Do you live on the East Coast? I live very East. That's what, you here in New York. Very New York. Look at this outfit. It's like fake jean. It's like, it's like. It's cute. Look at you. Girl, look at you. No, look at you, bitch. These shoes. Thank you. Are these potatoes? Oh my, I have no business. Girl, me too. Nah. I hope y'all don't see a little bit of the ash. I could have been a little bit more moisturized today. I could have been. I could have gotten like a spray tan. I love seeing you though. Usually it's always like a work event. I know. And you're so good at them. Oh my gosh, you too. No, you're really good. You come in, you do the thing, and then you kind of like just peace out without telling anyone else. I was like, she was just here. I always want the Irish accent. I love it. Because I hate awkward, I'm awkward in general, so it's like with goodbyes, I'm like. Yeah, goodbyes are too much. It feels weird. A hello and a goodbye, that's too much. It's too much for one evening. Everyone calm down. I'm so sorry, you got things to read. Look at you. Girl, you did your pre-show pull-up, and you're probably one of the only people that, I mean, some people know their big three, but I'm impressed that you know your big three. Yeah. Because you're into astrology. I am, because I love, I didn't even know what angel numbers were, but I knew that I was born on 7-24 at 7-24, and my kids are January 19th, 2019, so I'm like, angel numbers always come up, so I'm like, what does this mean? What does this mean? That's so crazy. Oh my gosh, I'm into angel numbers, too. My mom loves 26. Oh. I was born August 26th, my dad's March 26th, and she was like, last year, she was like, 2026 is gonna be special. Wow. She's into that, too. I wonder what that means. I know. Is it like an eight? What does that mean? What does it mean? I don't know. So you are a Leo rising? Yes. A Scorpio moon, and then a Leo sun. Yeah. Girl, you got a lot. Do you feel that Leo energy coming through? I mean, the hair is giving main. I don't know if it's on package, but, but, ma'am, ma'am is giving next day delivery is what it's giving. It'll never mess up, even. Look, I know. Fabric softener I learned in full locks really does a trick, but anyways, not most, fabric softener. It's a little bit of water, but yeah, I feel very Leo. I feel like, you know, since I was little, I wanted like community, I wanted clubs, I wanted hugs. Fierce. You know? Fierce, yes. Yeah. I will say the Scorpio makes sense for me, because when I see it, I'm like, oh my gosh, any time I see you, I feel that sexy energy. Really? It's something that you just, I don't, like, I just feel it. You're always like, yes. Yes. It's always, she's always here. I mean. I live for that. I love when people own their sexuality. There's nothing better, because it's also like, I feel like we're always under the gaze of like some terrible patriarchal standard of, oh, like we have to be sexy, but not too sexy. Yes. You know, we have to be smart, but not too smart. And so it's just nice when you're just like, I like what it does. Yes. You know what I mean? It isn't like, thank you. It also isn't, you're welcome. It's like, I'll call you. Yes. And so I love it. I love it. I know. I know. It's great. I'm obsessed with it. Thank you so much. Your love language is service and touch. Yes. Fabulous. Yeah. So what does that look like? Or you can like, touch and service me at the same time. What? What? I mean, it's a hand in hand. This sounds excellent, by the way. I'm right there with y'all. Thank you so much. No, I mean, like, I never really cared about how much money somebody had. Period. As long as they were thoughtful and ambitious. You could always make money, but can you, you can't teach somebody to be thoughtful. Like, can you help me and take care of me? That's without a doubt. It's true. I feel like it goes unnoticed too much. Yes. Because character is something that, it's like, once they've grown, they've grown. I mean, people can change. Yes. I'm not saying they can't, but it's like, it's a tall task, a tall order. You are who you are. You know, you are who you are. Yeah. But like, absolutely, money and success, those things can, especially if you have good character. Yes. Even if you lose it, you can make it come back. Yes. Are we talking about Jerry Springer? Just kidding. I don't know. Because I feel like he lost money and came back, but rest in power. What a weird. What about MC Hammer? Did he come back from it? The lossage of the money? Did he? I hope he did. Wait, he's alive, right? He's alive. He's living. Okay. He's living. So shit, he living. Good. That accounts for something. Bobby Brown came back. He's on the stage jumping. Yes, Bobby. Yes. Is my, is my, my, my, my, my, my, my. Wow. New addition. Recruit. I know. Is it still new? Is it, can we still use the word new? Just saying. What's a question you wish you were asked more in interviews? Um, I don't know. Yeah, this is a hard one. I don't know. Yeah. Is there any topic that you're like, why don't we ever touch that topic now? No. I mean, I feel like social justice is one of those things that definitely comes up and people are afraid to say something because of like ruining relationships or money in their pocket or whatever it is. But I just feel like, you know, I just wish more comedians especially would punch up not down. Sure. But I don't know like how that would be a question. One of the questions I do not like getting, which I don't know if this is one of your questions, is like what you would tell your youngest self. I'm kidding. No! I just wanted to do that because you set it up so perfectly. You set it up so perfectly for me to do. This is why I love you so much. But that is a really hard one though. It is. I hate when I'm asked that too. Sorry. But not sorry. Look at that. Look at all these cameras. This is nice. Girl, thank you. You got more than one Wayfair rug. This is. You. It's definitely Wayfair. I'm so glad you noticed. Yeah, you got what I need. This is nice. You got speed bumps. Like what? This is a real. Come on, yellow jackets. This is nice. My dad used to make those. Not those particularly. But yeah, my dad was always making plastic, selling plastic. Oh my God. It would come a long way. That's so great. So you're like Tommy Boy. Now who's Tommy Boy? Oh my God. That movie Tommy Boy? The daddy worked in a factory? Well, he owned the factory with Chris. What's his name? I know what that's in there. What's the big dude's name from SNL that passed away? Thank you so much. Oh my God, Chris Farley. Yes. Rest in peace. Rest in power. Do you remember that movie? Rest in power. I don't remember that movie, Tommy Boy. Oh, it's good. Yeah, but I do remember Chris Farley. I remember his movies and stuff like that. Yeah. Growing up. It was with David Spade and they were like. Oh, I love David Spade. What was the, didn't David Spade also do Mom Named You Joe Dirt Not Yell Nat? Joe Dirt? Yes. Isn't that Joe Dirt? That is Joe Dirt. I love Joe Dirt. It was so crazy, that movie. I love you so much. They did that boy so bad. I love you so much. Yeah, I love a good spicy white movie. You know, hot chick. Anyway, who is someone that you met that made you feel starstruck? You said Lenny Francine. First of all, his middle name is Francine. No, it's F***ing. Oh, Lenny F***ing. Lenny F***ing Kravitz. Yes. I live for the fact that Lenny Kravitz's parents was on George Jefferson. I know. That gags me. Isn't that crazy? That's the coolest little random ass fact. Isn't that so crazy? Like what? I love Lenny Kravitz. Me too. So he's your guy. He's your one. He's the one. Yes. He's the one. Because I met him. Now, I sat next to Beyonce at like an event, but there was no way I could, you know, I can't go. I don't go up to- You didn't say nothing. No. To B? I feel like B would live for you down. She probably would, but like I was, there was too many people asking her things and I was like, I don't want to bother you, miss. Oh my gosh, yeah. I feel very much I don't want to bother you to ever ask. Yes. I do as well. I'll say hey, but then I'll be like, let me get out your way. What do you mean? Because it gets so awkward. It gets awkward. That's the thing. Do you have social anxiety? Social anxiety? Girl, yeah. So I'm always like, oh. Because that like helps me stabilize. That's me regulating. Right. It's like, oh. Oh, I love you so much. You know, it just kind of, because if I do that- That's why you grab the mic and start singing. Yes. That's grounding. Yeah, I get it. It's grounding. 100. What's your sign? So, thought you'd never ask. I'm a Virgo sun. Wow. Cancer rising. Okay, Earth. Sagittarius moon. What do you mean? It's a lot going on. Not the Sag batch. That's a Sag batch. That is the fire. That's the fire. She's coming through. Yes. You know, she's trying to- Yeah, that's great. That's great. Yeah, my husband's a Virgo and my kids are Capricorn. Oh my gosh. So they just let me live. That's our perfect match. I mean- And by the way, the Leo is the head of the Virgo. Yeah. Like the Virgo lives for the Leo and all. Yeah, yeah. So it's like- Yeah, I mean- Your husband's from the Netherlands. He is. I dated a Dutchman once. Are you okay? I enjoyed him and I enjoyed living in Holland. I lived there with his beautiful mother. Shout outs to her. Me and her are still friends. We're on Facebook. Oh my gosh. Oh, not the Facebook friends. I could see myself being a Dutch wife. Like I was into it momentarily. Wow. It was a COVID thing. Oh, I didn't know. We could have been Dutch wives together. We could have done this. We could have been going Dutch. Is your husband very, very Dutch? Like, is he riding the bike? Oh, ma'am. He's riding the bike. He's fixing the bike. He was born on a bike out of his mama's. Yes, he's very Dutch. Oh, my gosh. He's Dutch. There's this restaurant in Amsterdam that I love called Von Spitz. Oh, okay. Back when I ate chicken. It was very good chicken. I know that's not what you're expecting when you're thinking about the Netherlands, but, by the way, it was great. Oh, interesting. You are messing me up right now. Do you guys visit there often? We do, because we were long distance for two years. Oh, my gosh. From New York to Amsterdam. It was supposed to be a one-night stand. It was. That's why I tell people. Tell me the story. Let's go. Well, I mean. One-night stand, right? Yeah, you got to open your mind, your heart, and your legs to love. Okay. Because it can happen. But be safe. You're too cute for bacteria. Oh, my gosh. That's true. Do you just say, my UCLA health chart? Boom. Well, I don't go to Kaiser. We have something different on the East Coast. But, yeah. I mean, also Planned Parenthood support them, because they were supporting my holes when I had no insurance. But the point is, I didn't love going to Amsterdam. I just have been on too many bikes, though. Like, my taint's a speed bump. I loved it as well. I did as well. Wow. So, one-night stand, you guys had a fabulous vibe, and then you just kept texting, calling, hanging out. Well, he was getting in touch with me. He was, like, really trying to hold it down. And I was like, I'm busy. I don't even know how to say your name. I don't even know where Holland is. Is it Germany Light? Don't say that to a Dutch person. They don't like that. No, they hate that. It's a thing. They're like, is it Denmark? I'm like, I, you know, I don't, I just learned timeshares were fake. I don't know what's happening. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I did hear that about timeshares. They lied to us. They really did. What is a timeshare? It's like some scheme. It's like a pyramid scheme. It is. Kind of-y. Have you ever been in a pyramid scheme? No. At least I don't think. Oh, s***. That would be a doozy. I find out today. I know. Oh, my God. That'd be terrible. The concept of a pyramid scheme should be right. But it just goes bad. That's how you get somebody in a pyramid scheme. Right. Because it's like, it feels like it should be cyclical. I truly believe anything you tell me. Because I feel like you are of right mind. And when you're wrong, you say you're wrong. What am I, Jerry Orban? Oh, my gosh. Anyways, all my references are older than Taylor Swift. But I do love, and I call my vagine the Holland Tunnel at this point. Okay, because that's all we got time for. Yes. We only got time for the Dutchman's. That's right. And gas is cheaper on the other side. They're very nice. You know, I was going to say, what's something I can say in Dutch? Prost? Prost. Yeah, prost gotcha. Period. Prost love. Okay, so. Oh, yum. Let's go back to the beginning. You are from Hamilton Township, New Jersey. Oh, yuck. Your mom is Jamaican. She is Jamaican. Your daddy is Haitian. That's right. So, I mean, what was it like for you growing up? Were you always really funny? Are your parents funny? What was your childhood like? Oh, my God. Really? Oh, my God. Really? Yes, and I feel like this Caribbean vibe, it makes total sense to me. Yeah. Yeah, like this, you totally give that. I also think Caribbean-type girls, they always have a little bit of this je ne sais quoi as well. Yeah, I call it a je ne sais queef, but yes, that's right. You know, the thing about growing up, I skinted Caribbean in central Jersey, which is like the Midwest with a Northeast attitude. You know, it's just a lot of people angry, eating pink meats and a big hoagie bread with white sneakers, yelling, gout, everybody named Tony. Calm down. Come on, Wawa. I didn't even know I was too cute for a neighborhood until I was like 10, and I learned how to code switch at six. I was like, this is exhausting. And even like my uniform, so much higher in the back, so I had a high booty. I call it top shelf liquor now. Okay. So like even though like I was around women in New York, you know, like Brooklyn, Queens, or even going down to Jamaica or even up to Miami, whatever, with the Caribbean women, my family, they just love their bodies. And so I didn't understand why I was. I was literally shamed, you know? And then my mom sort of tried to teach me how to walk in this world. Yeah. And she's tiny. And so she'd always be like, because I've had this body since I was 12, but she'd be like, you know, don't stick your chest out. I'm like, I'm standing up straight like you told me to. And so then figuring out how to live under this male gaze yet again, I was like, this is exhausting and I'm bored. And so, you know, by the time I could like come home from school, let my head, literally, let my hair down and my freak flag fly, I was like, this is it. But like, I didn't know that. I just thought that's you in public and this is you at home. And so I slowly but surely came into my own, like through friends, through my people, you know, I went to college in Miami. So I was like, I got to get out of Jersey. And Miami sounds fun. It was so fun, especially for college, because there were so many people from different countries just living their truth. And it's too hot to be anything else than what your body's supposed to be. OK, you know? Yeah. And so I'm like, yeah, I'm I just I figured out how to be a truth teller through my body first. And then I came to my voice when I started working in the workplace. Yes, I had to ask for things and advocate for myself because I realized no one was going to do it for me. Yeah. Two things spoke jumped out to me, too, when you were talking words. One, where you're being criticized for your body for being too thick or whatever people say about it in that regard. But then also this idea that I think a lot of women experience is the sexual. Isation. Yes. Early on, you fetishize at the same time. It's like on one hand, I'm too big. But on the other end, yes, this person is lusting after me. And now I got to stick my chest. It's gross. You're either a fetish or a fear. And that's why the states that have the most egregious trans laws also have the highest use usage of transport. It's really gross. What you need to do is just give people their rights and just let them live in the body that they want to live in. Yeah, that's really important. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. Because it's exploiting. You're exploiting it at that point in time. Yes. Also. Wait a minute. Do you remember when you came to Big Morning Buzz live? Oh, yes. Over ten years ago, I was Nick's co-host. Oh, my God. And you were there. And I think you were there with your mom. I don't remember. But I remember that one of your earrings broke and I was like, I got earrings. And then, like, we pulled out like a whole thing of earrings. And I don't know, you just went to the earrings. It was very sweet. And I took them. Good. Did I take? I did. I don't know. They weren't mine. Oh, they weren't yours. I mean, they were like mine for the show. Yeah. I don't know. That's so crazy. We had. That random thing that I didn't even remember to you just brought it up right now. But you've done a lot of stuff. I just love that we had more connections than I knew. Yeah. Were you like the youngest talk show host on BET? I was. That's insane. It was crazy. It was a crazy time. And you were like, but that's got to be lawless in a sense. Yeah. And I think it still is. Like, I feel like I'm I feel so much inside of the meta awareness that is my generation is arriving to. Yeah. Possibly is just because of what's happened with pop culture and social media and reality TV. But I've always been trying to, like, process it out loud. And I think that was like the beginning of it. And then, like, I love having my podcast because I get to I'm still having that same conversation. It's like, so what does it mean, y'all? Yes. Are we experiencing life? Are we in the experience? Are we watching it? How much of us watching it is actually playing into us experiencing it? It's just so recursive. The whole thing. Yeah. What's that word? Recursive. Come on, Akilah. I don't know. I don't know how to spell that. You said it in a sentence. She just did. What? I'm from Jersey, OK? The Akilah callback has me guys. It has me guys. I love it. I love it. You shared a moment where you were told by a college professor that you weren't the right size for camera. Yeah. What was that experience like and how did you get past? Because when we're in our formative years, it's pretty everything anybody say to us is like the law because we don't know that we have like a choice outside. Of that. You know, trust these people. So a professor saying that to you, you're in Miami and they say that to you and you somehow still find your way to be who you are today. What was that path? OK, so the road trip is happening, all right, the snacks are packed, somebody already has the playlist ready and you already know the music is about to be popping, OK? And the kids have been asking, are we there yet? Since before we left the driveway. As someone who travels by car frequently with her child, I know what will make or break that trip is what you pull up to at the end of it. Because after me and Leo have been in that car for six hours, baby, we are not trying to arrive at just anything. We want to walk into a home. And that's exactly why I like booking stays on Airbnb. When you get to a place that actually feels like somewhere you can live, the whole energy shifts. Now we have a space to spread out a kitchen where I can throw some together if I want to. A place where I can sit, breathe and come back to myself after that drive, that's the reset you need. The trip doesn't end when you arrive, it's just getting started. And when you book with Airbnb, that's when the trip really begins. I need everybody to hear me clearly. You do not need a milestone to enjoy yourself. I said what I said. Society has us out here waiting for promotions, engagements and New Year's Eve to twist open something nice. I'm over here with a chilled glass of Stella Rosa Black because I remembered to water my plants three days in a row. That's growth, literally. And the flavor, sweet, smooth, rich, bold, deep berry, blackberry, blueberry, raspberry, all sitting together like a real housewives reunion where everybody kept their glass in their hand. This is wine for everyone 21 and up who understands that sometimes a celebration is the random Wednesday or the quiet night in. Before I finish my laundry, and put it all away in one day, victory lap. You are the occasion, so please act accordingly. Head to StellaRosa.com to find your favorite flavor. Your next occasion, which is literally whenever you decide, is already taken care of because baby, this is Stella Rosa. And please, please, please drink responsibly. - I don't know, that's such a tough question because, you know, we were going around the class saying like what we want to do with our degree. And I remember saying, like I want to be like an entertainment journalist. I want to be like a John Hart or like a John Tesh or Mary Hart, you know what I mean? I want to wear like a red lip and shoulder pads and just like-- - Oh, fabulous. - Give you the entertainment news. But he told me I was too fat to be on camera and it was so-- - Literally. - Yeah, and it was very like matter of fact. So, and I didn't-- - I didn't question him. I was a little embarrassed, but this is the '90s and you know, there was no iPhones, there was no cameras. There was no, again, it was pretty lawless. Like we've come a long way. - Yes, we have. - You know, we still have a lot of work to do, but the thing is, is like he was kind of true because I never saw myself. Like there was Oprah and that was it. - Yes. - There was Ricky Lake and that was it. - Mm-hmm. - And that was it and so I didn't see myself. And that's why I always say representation is so important because if you don't see yourself, how do you ever know that you could be it? And then also, how do you learn about anybody else unless you're just seeing the same type of people all the time, the same type of bodies? But the thing is, is that he's not the first person that was gonna say that to me. - Right. - So many people have said just way more egregious things. And so he kind of prepared me for what I was getting into. - Yeah. - And I didn't know. That was the first time I heard it. I've already heard stuff from my family, but it was more like, if you don't lose weight, like you can't find a good man, no one's gonna love you. - This was your family? - Yes. - That's so annoying. I'm sorry about that. - Yeah, but it's okay. - That really pisses me off, sorry. - Yeah, it sucks because I would never tell that to a child, but like, but what it did was inform me on how to love myself, fully. - And also, it's just so untrue. You know, my mom has shared those kinds of things with me with her growing up, and you can't do this, or you can't be that. She the only person still married, damn it. You know, and her, you know what I'm saying? She the only, like all the things that people try to tell you that you can and can't be based off of your weight. If you want to change your weight, that's one thing. If you want to be whatever you want to be, if you want to be it, that's one thing. - That's one thing. - But this idea that everybody that does not fit in the same box is somehow not dignified? - Yeah. - Or worthy of love. - Or worthy of love, or love they self? - It's crazy. - It doesn't make sense. - It doesn't make sense, and it says more about them than me. - It pisses me off. - It pissed me off. I was angry for a while, and comedy really saved me 'cause I was able to talk about it, make a funny yell, and eventually go to therapy. But I'm thankful for those experiences because I, when people say we fight for joy, like I fight for it. Within myself. For everybody else. And now I know how to love my children. And how to raise them. Do you know what I mean? 'Cause I'm like, it ain't about even me, it's you. This is your body. The most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. So I am actually thankful for those, you know, for those experiences because they really have taught me how to just live in an unbridled, sort of joyful way where nobody can touch it. - Yes, yes, yes, yes. It's crazy 'cause I've talked about different things in my life where it's like, it all becomes okay when you realize it's something that can become cyclical. If you just get to a mountaintop of something and there's nothing to share it with, it can make that all feel like, damn, what was it about? But the moment that you realize, oh, this happened to me so that I can share it. I went through this so that I could then tell my so-and-so. Then it all feels better because you're like, at least it's going somewhere. It's worth everything I went through. 'Cause it's gonna make it easy for the next person. - My kids, we're never losing. We're only learning. And that will become a story you get to share. - Yeah, yes. - And for me, it's so many things. And for them, it's like tic-tac-toe. But like, you know what I mean? I'm like, yeah, but for me, it's like anything, whether it's like going through an IVF journey or having a surrogate or being fat shamed or experiencing secondhand homophobia and transphobia, trying to protect a community or not even being a resume snob when I'm trying to hire a very diverse, cast and crew, it's like-- - Come on with that resume snob. - You know what I mean? - Yeah, it's real. It's real. - Like people have done the work, they just don't have the little line. So just give them the line. - Girl, I'm really serious. 'Cause sometimes it's just like, man, all I did was, I'm sorry I didn't go to the school, but you know what? I put the hours in. Get me a shot. - Oh, 100%. - That's how I felt many times in my career where I've diversified, where it's like, I know I don't necessarily have this at school thing for this, you know, but hey, I am studying culture. This is cultural studies for me. - Yes, 100%. This is what my mission is. I am experiencing this so I can talk about it. - I think imposter syndrome is something that is also set in, not to take it back to the patriarchy, but here we are, as a form of control. - It's all around us. - Yeah, as a form of control. No, you can't do that. You know, you need a degree or you need X amount of whatever. And I'm just like, do we or do we just need instinct? - And intentionality, integrity, you know, I think those things I value. Why are you doing what you're doing? If it's just, I don't know that I love it from a superficial level, but if you're doing it 'cause you care, you're concerned, you're really interested in the subject, and this is what you, then I know you're gonna keep getting better at it. 'Cause I can tell it's coming from a true place. I wish that was honored more. - Yes. - There's something else that I wanted to point out on what you said, because I think it's something that's important for people that are dealing with opposition from any angle. Going back to what you said about the professor is, the way that you spoke about what he said, I think is a key. Because you said, well, it was a fact. It being a fact, doesn't mean it's kind, doesn't mean that it's, it doesn't mean actually any of those things. - Yeah. - You were able to reach out of that moment and just address the reality of that. - Yeah. - And I think that that is something that, like that's a very powerful survival mechanism. Some people might call it detachment. - Disassociation. - Right, some people might call it disassociation, detachment, whatever, and that might be valid. But I do think a certain amount of that is needed and necessary for you to succeed in life. - Yeah, because then I liken it to, I'm so sorry about my movie references. They're just like dirty white boy references, but like Pet Detective, when like homeboys like, or home, I don't remember who the was like obsessed with laces out. - Yeah. - Your whole life has become laces out. And the way you didn't kick a ball. It's like that one thing cannot define your whole, like you cannot blame that one thing. 'Cause then you're also giving somebody else power. You have the power. When people ask me for advice on like how to make money, I'm like, you're asking the wrong question. - Yes. - The money is still power, okay. It's still somebody else giving you something. The thing you should be telling yourself is don't tell yourself no before someone tells you no. - Yes. - Yes! - You're the only one that matters. - Ooh! - That is, that is that Scorpio, miss girl. Not to bring it too deep. But there's an amount of selfishness that I think everybody needs to allow themselves to have. - Yes. - You have to be the most important, coolest person in your life to you. And that to me is what builds confidence. - Yeah. - And I think a lot of people look to you, you think about the level of the thickest, we think about your success, I think that is such a big part of it is this extreme confidence that you exude. Is this something, and maybe this is a silly question 'cause you already kind of answered it, but is it something that you feel you was born with or is it something that you choose every day? How does this confidence come to you? - I think a little bit of both. I think I had it and then society tried to say no, no, no. And I was like, maybe. And then finally I was like, oh, oh yes, I'm here. Stop it. - Yes! - You know what I mean, like stop it. 'Cause who is you playing with? Not me. Girl, why do they try to do that? - And it shows up in every, it shows up in furniture. - I love everything about you. - There aren't chairs to fit my beautiful round ass. It shows up in wardrobe. I can't find something to fit my beautiful size 18, 20 body. - Okay! - But I'm just like, I'm gonna figure it out and keep it moving and sit and spin and enjoy my life. - Yes, 'cause why not? - Do you know? Why should I be in a bad mood about this that don't even really matter to me? - You can't. - By the way, that means I can make more custom looks. You don't have it. You don't have it. - I would love more custom looks. I would also love a turnkey experience of just going into the store and buying something. - Yeah. - And that's why I made my character a stylist. 'Cause I'm like, it was just like a perfect job because you know, having parents from the Caribbean being a stylist would not be a real job to them. Like they'd be like, people could dress themselves. And when I told them I was gonna do comedy, they're just like, but you're still gonna have a job, right? - Yeah. - And so, that's a great parallel. But then also I want to showcase the discrepancies in the fashion industry and what that actually means. Not just being a bigger body, but also, you know, whatever gender expression means and why that's such a hot topic and why people living their most authentic truth bothers people. It all comes down to control. - Yes. And other people feeling like the world told me no, so why should you get to say yes? That's the biggest thing. - Yeah. - You know, across any marginalized group of people, - Yeah. - It's always the audacity you have to have joy and be happy. - Yes. and myself and the world told me I should have it easier. - Yes. - They ain't got to do with me. - Yes. I love also what you're talking about with the fashion. I wanna know your relationship with fashion. - Oh my God. - Obviously you made it a center point in the show to have, you know, and it's so weird to have this confusion when it comes to fashion because we can have somebody like Andre Leon Talley. - Yeah. - But then people still don't consider size and like you said, this turnkey experience in fashion. - Yeah. - But we have so many people in fashion that are, we have people that are revered. - Yeah. - That were not what you apparently was saying the typical vibe should be. - Yeah. - So what does that mean? I mean, maybe don't answer to this, but I'm curious what you think about it. - Yeah, I mean, it's always felt like the, it's cool if it's international unattainable on the cool kids club, if it's like that couture world, but I'm talking about like the everyday experience. I'm talking about like the sister in Oklahoma that needs to get a men's Taco Bell uniform because they don't have a size that she can't bend over properly without showing her biscuits. I'm talking about like, you know, finally being able to afford going to a nice spa and you ain't got no robes to fit my body. Like, what are we saying? - That's right. - Like finally I get to afford a mammogram and there's no, you know, robes to fit over my body. And so I need two robes. It's just, you know, it's just like this lack of understanding, it's like this chip. And so, you know, I think, yes, the fun people in the fashion industry, yes, but it's got to trickle down at some point because we are all deserving of to feel that like love and light and sexiness and fierceness that everybody else has. Like we deserve to feel that too. And by we, I mean, like I always say the odd bodies and the fatty baddies, you know, the non-binary royalty, like everybody's just like, where do I go? It's like, you know, you should be able to go here. - When it comes to these money people, all I want to say, also, 'cause I feel like maybe this-- - The money people, I love it. - Right, so maybe this reaches you guys is, you're leaving a lot of money on the table. - Yeah, I've said that too. - 'Cause it's like, I don't know how else to reach them. - No, that's fine, yeah. - Because it's like, this is also a whole white space. - I know. - So what are you doing? - I know. It's sad that it has to be in those terms. - It is, it is. - But like as a producer, you could be producing stuff. We want to spend our money. - Yes, but you know, it's also like bigger picture. Like for me, I'm just like, well damn, if healthcare is a luxury, then of course I can't get a size 18 so and so. - The healthcare thing is crazy. - It's insane. - It's just, and it's almost like, I feel like with a lot of this stuff that we're talking about across the board, you know, any of the isms, or the obias, or the phobias, you know, the transphobic, homophobic. - Fatphobic. - Fatphobic, all the phobics as well. I feel like I don't really know how, I don't know if there'll ever be a moment where I'ma snap my fingers and it's gonna be over. - Right, not in our lifetime. - You know, that is-- - Not in our lifetime. - You know, and same thing with the healthcare. You know, some of these, it almost feels as if some of these issues, they want it to continue. - Of course. - Like it's a part of the lifeline of the continuum. - Well that's how we were made, right? And so I feel like we have what, 330 million people in America. You ever been out to dinner with like 20 people? And how hard it is to order food? - Yes. - Nobody can decide. - That's why it's like buffet. - Yes. - Come on. - Well we are a buffet. And none of it makes sense and none of it goes together. And that's what it is right now. And it would be nice if somebody came in or a lot of people came in. I'm just, I need a hero. - Okay, I need a hero. - Yes, you know what I mean? - Girl, that's real though. That's why we like the movies. That's why I do think the Marvel movies and all that stuff is popular right now. It's 'cause people like bring somebody in to fix this. - Truly. - Today, 'cause we are in Gotham, honey. - Yeah, this is crazy. People don't like get off of social media and recognize what's going on. But it's just like social media is all we have. Like just give me, like the more war I see, the more three ingredient vegan in a blender cake recipes I also need. - Girl, that cooking is what's keeping me alive. - Yes, do you cook? - Sliding down saying, no, just I watch the videos. - Yes. - But I do have this weird thing thinking that suddenly I can cook from watching it. - I know. - I don't think it's true though. - Well that's like what social media makes you do. It makes you think you can be a photographer, a model, a comedian. That's what it makes you do. It's a false sense of security. - Girl. - It is. - It's false. - Modern day Viagra. Everyone's watching Instagram and all the blood's going to their dick. - Oh my gosh. - Is that too much? - I'm howling. It's making them excited. - It is. - It's true. - Anyways. - Survival of the Thickest, third season. - Wait, have you watched it? - Yes, of course. - Oh, that's so funny. - My mom too. - Really? - Yes. - Oh my God, your mom. But it's like a little sexy. It's a little raunchy. - My mom used to watch, her favorite show was The L Word. - Oh. - For many years. - Oh. - Yeah. - I love that for her. - Yeah. - Yeah. - So. - Yes. - Back to this, this is the final season. - Yeah. - How are you feeling? - I don't know. - What did you, what, what, what, what, you know, just what does this moment mean to you and what's next? I mean, that's an annoying question, what's next? But I mean, what's next? - That's so funny. - You said that's so funny. - It is because I feel like every color of the rainbow is every emotion I feel. Like I feel so lucky that I get to have three seasons of a show because- - Yes, that's rare. - I used to fly myself out on miles and points to LA for pilot season in the middle seat, just to read seven lines next to somebody and hope that I get the gig, you know what I mean? Like the amount of clothes I bought at Macy's in return, that's not my bad, it's yours. Your return policy is trash and I love it. It's, you know, because I couldn't afford to keep the clothes and stuff. And just the amount of ideas that I've written down on pieces of paper to, and the imposter syndrome that came with writing the book of just like, "I don't even read books, who gonna read that book?" Type stuff and to finish the book and then have the book turn into three seasons of storytelling and friendship and wild as just wonderment. And then also to employ so many beautiful black, brown, fat, queer, like there's people saving up for top surgeries. Like it's so like, what it has done is just filled like my heart, like my heart is full and so are my panties. Is that too much? Anyways, full of what? Love, love as well. Love as well. No, don't share. 49 still got, I'm just kidding. It was just a big deal you guys, come on. But I am truly one sneeze away from ruining this share. Do you like this share? No, it's borrowed, right? We have another one. The point is, if you have to wear fair carpets, you have another chair. But the point is, - Oh my gosh. - But the point is, it's like, I do feel everything. It's bittersweet. Like I don't want it to end, it'd be nice if it didn't go on longer, but good things are meant to end. And what's next? It's like, I'm supposed to be doing this for the rest of my life, so I don't know what's next. That's the exciting part too. I wrote another hour of standup. I'm currently touring it right now, which is like so dope. - Oh my gosh. I mean, how is this, how are these themes of messiness? Women being able to be nuanced, all these different archetypes that we don't get to see. How is that showing up in your material now? - Oh my gosh. - Especially post Joe. - It's again, lawless is the word. No one's safe in a good way, in a good way. 'Cause what we need to do is just laugh. We need to laugh. - We need that, babe. - Yes, yes. And I want people to laugh so hard, they like also pee themselves, which won't be hard 'cause my demo's over 45. - Bathing suit bottoms. I should sell bathing suit bottoms as merch. - No, by the way, also a full on like any type of line, any type of anything. - Any type of anything. - Like we buying it. - Oh man. - You're very much that girl. - I am. - I am. - Everything you do, I'm just like, mwah. - It's back at you, it's back at you. You started as a voice that people recognize on VH1. - Oh yeah. - Yeah, doing standup. I mean, when did you realize that that was not just a conversation that you wanted to be in, but you wanted to create? - I think I always wanted to, I think I knew that I always wanted to create it. I didn't know, I just thought I was like a hands-on person. You know, coming from a production background, because my professor told me I was too fat to be on TV, I was like, oh, you're right. So I went into production and I started editing and field producing and I love to know how the sausage is made, for real, for real. - Me too. - You know? - I really do. - It's so fun. I think it's really, I think every little job is, it's so beautiful. It's like building a wall of happiness and everybody's like a little brick. Oh my God, what am I, what's love? So anyways. - Stop. - I don't wanna. But, I don't even remember the question. I am lacking out. - We were just talking about just. - Oh, VH1. - Yeah, VH1. Yeah, we're talking about VH1. - It's very fun. - And how you realized you wanted to be. This is the thing, I think there's one thing about stepping into the box of something, which is there's nothing wrong with that, where it's like, you know, especially as actors, there are roles, you see roles, I wanna be in that role. But then there are also, like you're saying, producers, people that create the conversation that builds the role. - Yeah. - That's you. - Yes, and I didn't know that. I thought I was just like a very hands-on talent, because I am coming from the stand-up world. - Yeah. - And I didn't realize I was producing stuff for free. You know, writing stuff for free, improv-ing. But I'm just like, if I'm here, let's just make it better. Like, yes, everyone should be getting paid when they get paid, but I'm just like, there's nothing wrong with just making it better. And I love working with people who wanna make it better as well. You know, 'cause I feel like we only fly. - Yeah. - You know, we inspire each other. - Yeah, I mean, that's just also just the bomb quality. Everybody does not have that, and it is beautiful to see when people have that ability to push the narratives forward. - Yes. - You know what I'm saying? - Yes. - 'Cause that's what keeps things going. - That's exciting for me. - Can we talk about how you also made history? As being the first woman to film a comedy special at Radio City Hall. Let me walk you through my Tuesday. I woke up and immediately had to decide what to wear to a meeting, what to feed my son, whether I'm taking the call from my car or rescheduling, and it's not even 8 a.m. yet. By noon, I've made a hundred decisions, and I'm already over it. So the things in my life that don't require me to think, those are sacred. That's exactly what Fruit of the Loom women's underwear is for me. I open the drawer, I grab a pair, and I already know it's going to be comfortable and fit right. There's no guessing, no adjusting, no let-me-try-another-pair moment. It just works. When your whole day is full of decisions that actually need your energy, having that kind of simplicity in your routine creates real peace of mind. And trust me, that feels really, really good. Fruit of the Loom. Fruit of the Loom proves that simple feels really good. There are two versions of me at any given moment. There's the version that is on the way somewhere, locked in, unbothered, do not interrupt me, I have a purpose. And then there's the version that sees a Starbucks and just turns, mid-stride, with absolutely no hesitation. The second one is my favorite version, especially in the summer. I'm the one who orders a tropical butterfly refresher, guava and passion fruit flavors, these mango pineapple flavored pearls that pop in your mouth, and a butterfly pea flower infusion on top that just shifts the color of the whole drink right in front of you. And I stand there watching it happen like it's the most important thing that happened all week, because it might be. One small choice can lead to a whole jiff. Unlock your best summer memories with the Tropical Butterfly Refresher from Starbucks. Order now on the app. Like, what was that, what was, what was that for you? Um. Like, was that always a dream or did it, did it just fall on your lap? No. No. No. It fell on your lap and it was like, by the way, you know you're the first woman to do radio. No, like I, so I don't set, the only dream I have every day is to be happy. Okay. You know, and then like also to challenge myself, to push myself. And so the fact that like, the fact that I'm a size 18, 20, and that I'm a woman, and I believe that I'm worthy of love is already just like, who this bitch, right? And so I was very, thank you for laughing, because it is funny. But, you know, as I'm. As I'm like, shopping venues for my comedy special, I'm looking at the venues we can afford, right? Because there's a budget. And I put Radio City Music Hall on the list because I knew I couldn't afford it, but I just want to see it like, in the day when it's quiet. And it's sort of like, being on Say Yes to the Dress and trying on the Nina Paterno, whatever the f*** her name is. Like, the dress that you can't afford, you're just like, just jack it up and let me see how. And, you know, it's like, I don't have a budget, but I just want to see their house. You know? And then when I walked into Radio City, it's just like the, like the seats are like this beautiful rosé color, and that's like my favorite drink. And I was like, no. And the stage is so big, but I'm like, I'm not a dancer. And I was like, it's like, it begs for a. You're ridiculous. But it begs for a band. Like, eh, hit me three times. You know? And it's just like, it just begs for that. And so, but there's something so beautiful and magical about it where it feels intimate, even though it's very big. Much like my vagina. Just kidding. Good God. Guys, come on. There's so many cameras. Yeah. And then, anyways. I mean, truly, truly. We went to B&H and got all the things. Oh my God, obsessed with you is too much. It's too much. It's just enough. So, anyways. Is it giving Star Trek? Is it giving, like, Dominican reboot of Star Trek? Anyways. Yo. So, I asked the lady showing us around. I'm like, this place obviously is amazing. And I'm like, what other females have recorded? And she's like, oh, no one. I'm like, what? And she's like, no one. Lots of people have sold out for decades, obviously. No one's recorded a special here. And then I got, like, this thing in my, well, some would say acid reflux, but I say instinct. Okay. Where's the Pepsi then? I know. I was like, Tom to Tom, Tom, Tom's. And I was like, I have to do it. And because now it would mean something. And I'm like, oh, now I have to do it. And I'm like, I have to do it. I have to do it. I have to do it. I have to do it. You know? But when you do a special, you do a late show and an early show to edit and mix both of the shows. But because there was like 6,000 seats that could only afford to do one show. Oh. Yeah. So I was like, we're going to go. We're going to act like this is a live show. Live to tape. I'm already editing outside of my body. So if I'm- Okay, girl. I'm going to do the embodiment of it all. It's the room of the room of the room of the room. What is it? Why do we go there? And is that also like, is that just like- It's amazing. Why do we do that? Is that, does that mean we're traumatized? Like how does this- No. What does this mean? It means we're operating on a different plane. Come on! It means that nobody can with us because we are- Stop! Yes. Oh, I didn't know what we were doing. I thought you were just ah! Yes. That's what it is. Girl! I mean, we are amazing. I'm with it heavy. Look. Because it's like, I'm already at the end of the combo and you just in the middle of the sentence. Yes. Holla at your girl. Exactly. Period. So it was great. Oh my gosh. Best experience ever. Yeah. It was pretty good. You mentioned this earlier about the not punching down. Yeah. Comedians not punching down. All this kind of stuff. Yeah. Do you feel, and I'm just going to ask you, do you feel like also as a comedian it's your job to kind of speak to culture? It depends. It depends on what kind of comedy you do. Yeah. It depends on what kind of comedy you do, but at, you know, at some point you have to, you have, you just have to, there's too many platforms for us not to say something. Yeah. Or to have some type of material that could be inspired by it, you know, around us. And even if it's not material, just say it in a, there's so many podcasts and interviews and stuff like that. And so I'm just like, where is the love? Yeah. Where is the love for communities? You know? I'm just like. Everybody can't be the butt of a joke when we have like this, this monster heading this crazy administration. We have to protect each other. Like yes, it is a, to me it's a cheap joke to make fun of a minority within a minority. They cannot protect themselves no matter where they turn. And it reminds me of just like when people, it's almost like sometimes people assume that just because they're including, that's enough. Even if the framing of it is incorrect. It's almost like when I used to watch. Like shows like early shows from the nineties, the joke is like, and then a black person walks in. Yeah. That was the joke. Yeah. That's it. And I'm like, that was the joke. Like I watch old shows now and it's like, and next thing you know, it was a girl and it's like her being a one, just her being a her. Yeah. Just them being a black or a person of color. It made it immediately a joke. And that's what it feels like as well now when it comes to that. Well, I included you in the conversation. So that's me. And it's like, well, we have to move forward. You know? That's what it feels like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The thing is too, it's like, it's easy. Like it's just, it's easy. And so that's why I challenge comedians to make it funny. Yeah. Yeah. Can you make it funny? Can you actually love somebody and support them and make it funny? I can. Woo. Is there anything that you, that people hated that you said that you were like, well, you know what? I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. Woo. Is there anything that you, that people hated that you said that you were like, well, shit. I can. I can. I can. I can. And that you made funny? I mean. Probably so many stuff. Yeah. I mean. So many stuff. Wow. My grammar. So many stuff. Yeah. I mean like truly like people, people are offended that I even exist. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, that's the one you boo. You sound very unhappy. You sound like you do not have good food and orgasms. Oh my gosh. And you need to have them. You mentioned how, what somebody eats says a lot about how they have sex. It does. Let's get into this because I'm scared girl. I feel that I'm a little vanilla. Oh. Oh. But maybe. Oh. Maybe. Like what can I reveal? Look. But the thing is it's like vanilla is not bad. Vanilla could be it's pure estate. Like Gordon Ramsay is just like you don't need to put anything on it. It's just salt, pepper and butter or whatever. Or like. Oh my gosh. I'm macaroni and cheese. Are you? I mean no. I would have just based off of that. Macaroni and cheese is, you know what I mean? To keep it basic. To keep it basic. But it's like excellent. I don't like a lot of cream. I like more cheese. Right. But we could, you know. That's what he said. I'm kidding. Wow. She was up on me. So. So you can tell by someone's food how much fun they are. Yeah. Or how happy they are. How happy they are. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's got to be flavorful. I think so. Or. And also like. Also people are like picky eaters or like scared of something. And it's also interesting because to me it's giving indecisive. Okay. Like they don't trust themselves or something. but I do love when someone's, like, open about it. They're just like, I'm a picky eater. I don't even know why. Let's just, you know what I mean? That's fun. I think accountability and openness is so sexy. I love that. I'm about to start asking, I'm about to start judging that in a proper way. But I'm going to be like, so what do you like to eat? You know, I never liked. It's a good way to do it. Well, that's, we're talking about food, right? Ah! I don't know. I got to ask. It's just the whole body's a pre-fix menu, honey. I love that. You know? And I never liked going out on dates, like dinner dates. But now I understand why. You have to see how someone treats the waitstaff and their table manners. Because I'm giving you a seat at my table. You coming with manners? Okay. And then also to see how they chew. Oh, my gosh. The chewing. What is it? The chewing. Chewing is bad for me. Like, when I hear it. Oh, it's like a wet bag of dicks. It's too much. It's a lot. Any type of mouth noises as well for me. Yes. Like, even if I'm watching a movie and they're kissing, sometimes I hate that. Oh, the kissing. Ugh. Shut the f*** up. Do you have a lot of sex? Do you do sex scenes? Girl, no. I don't do a lot of them on or off camera. Stop it, girl. You know, it's hard out here. Nobody's really looking for a hermeneutical thinker. Nobody wants somebody that is, I don't know, you know. I think it's interesting, right? Okay. Because I feel that I'm a fun gal. You know, I feel like I'm like, ah! You know, I'm like, I'm ready for it. Gah! You know, but I don't know that it gives sex immediately. But it's okay. We all have our things. You know, so. Yeah. I've done like one or two sex scenes in a movie. One was with a girl, which was the most fun, the most amazing. Hey, Hailey Ram, love you, boo. Oh. The other one was with, like, my big brother, Evan Ross, in TLC. Okay. And it wasn't really, I mean, it was just like. Like, not even much. Okay. So, I'm spooked by it. Really? Girl, it scares me. Really? Why? You know, because it's just like. Is it the people watching or that you have to, like, see it later? I mean, now, in a professional environment. Yes. I think it's like, you know, I can do it because I'm being professional. Yes. But. Yes. On the way there, I'm just laughing and ****. Like, I'm just, it feels so silly to me because this is my thing with sex. Why are we so serious? Yeah. You know, sometimes. It's like, this is what it's like. It's like, this is us before and then now. Yes. Why does it have to be that? I don't think it has to. I don't. I want mine to be like, ah, boy, stop. Yo, I'm hot in here. Turn AC on. Not right there. To the left. To the left. To the left. To the left. Remember Beyonce's hit? I want it to feel like that. Yes. Because the **** bothers me. Yes. It makes me scared. Yeah, I agree. I want it to turn into Sasha Fierce. I see. ****. No, I see. I see what you mean. Not everybody. Yes. I don't like that. Somebody wrote a scene where they were like, Michelle, now you do a dance for him. I was like, get the **** out of here. What are you? I do a dance. What am I, Cardi B in a J-Lo movie? Come on. What do you dance? Can I even walk across the floor without even tripping on something? I have a bunion. What are you? I haven't seen my feet since I was 12. These titties. Stop. I'm like, I could barely sit on somebody without even like losing my keys and with their face. So I'm just like, yeah, okay. But like, I think. And, you know, I think it's exhausting already, but I think it, humor is fun. That's what I think, boo. Like, what if, what if Fifty Shades of Grey was just like them trying to crack each other up instead? Oh my God. Like, oh my gosh. You know everything. You gotta eat my ass. No, you gotta eat my ass. Yeah. Yeah. That's fun. Oh my God. This is unhinged in the best way possible. It's the best. I feel like that, this is to me, and this is also. It's so intimacy to me. Yes. I think we've also, like, I love that movie with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and, oh my gosh, Julianne Moore. Okay. It's called Don John. And it's about the porn, the rise of porn industry and the commercialization of porn and the normalization of it. Julianne Moore be out here, huh? She, okay, honey, she was teaching him a thing or two. About a thing or two. And what I loved was that she was talking about how intimacy is sometimes lost in the act and the performance of sex. And I feel like that can be very. And even just speaking to my generation, like a lot of the young men, you know, that are, you know, we talk about millennials or, you know, Gen Z or whatever, they have been heavily influenced by sex through porn. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And so it becomes this thing where you want me to show up as a character. Yeah. But I'm not, first of all, you're not paying for me, the actor. Yeah. Let's get that straight. By the way. By the way. And then secondly, like, that's not real intimacy to me. Real intimacy is me being the truth of who I am in this moment with you. Yes. I think that's like the thing. Right. So, yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I feel like. Being vulnerable is interesting because a friend once told me somebody will meet you as deeply as they met themselves. And so that is so true, whether it is in a Zoom meeting or in the bedroom. And I feel like, well, at least what I try to do through sex scenes on my show is not wear a lot of makeup. Yes. Show the soft parts of my body that, like, people consider problem areas. I say they're human areas, you know, because all of these things are important to showcase. And I think when you do write and act in a sex scene where you are making each other laugh and you're connecting in a different way before you connect in a different way is really important. It is the education that you'll never get in school. Yes. You're not going to hear that, you know, on the playground with your friends or wherever the other sex education is happening. So that's why, like, all these things. They matter. And, yeah, I'm excited for you and your sex scene that will be coming up. It's going to be hilarious. Coming up soon. I will write it for you. Oh, my gosh, girl. We need to just do it as one reel. Like, it literally starts with the sex scene and ends with it. Like, I'm here for this. Coming to you guys soon. Okay. Okay, last question before we get into the game. Oh, my God. I know. I can't believe that I have to end with you. This is just devastating. You've said you want to upgrade something every year. Yes. So what is this year's upgrade? Let's check up on it. Oh, my God. This year's upgrade, you know what? I just, because I'm touring now, I'm like, and everyone's like, you need to go on vacation. When my friends look at me on FaceTime, they're like, you need to go on vacation. I'm like, I don't need to go on vacation. I need to find vacation within every day. Okay. You know, I need, like, a peaceful. Now, that was a bar. I need a peaceful moment. You know, whether it's me telling my kids I cannot. We've already read three books. I cannot. Dr. Seuss is the longest book. You picked it. I got to go. It's too much. It's all the same. Yeah, yeah. And you know how to read. I'm so sorry. And Dr. Seuss be making up anything. We let him get away with so much. Dr. Seuss. Those animals were hitting. And a comment of Booster Deuce. Yes. I don't want to fight or Vox or Knox. We really let him get away with it. Like, that's Dr. Seuss-yism. That's so crazy. Eleven fingers. Check yourself, please. You are undoing all the things that they taught you. The one thing, too. So amazing. Well, actually, that's what I call my twins thing, one and thing, too. Oh, my God. Love it now. Fabulous. Simply fabulous. How old are they now? Seven. Seven. What's the new arrival with them? My son is three. Oh, wow. And he is talking down, girl. Three is so cute with the little heads. Oh, my gosh. And they, like, think they're, like, big kids now. They're knowing something. He's very, like, checking. Like, last night, tell me why he thought this was going to offend me. Last night, I was like, it's time to say prayers. You know, put the iPad down for a brief moment. You can have it for 15 minutes. Oh, yes. Yeah. 15 more minutes before you go to bed. But, like, last night, he said, no, no, no. No, I'm about to unzip your jacket. What? Okay. He starts unzipping my jacket. Yeah, I'm about to unzip your jacket, mama. Oh, my God. Okay, unzip my hoodie. Like, he thought that was, like, going to gag me. Yeah. And it's like, boy, say this prayer. Oh, my God. I love it so much. These kids are crazy. My daughter is seven, and she wanted a neck tattoo of a heart for her birthday. Like, a real one? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're into expressing themselves. And my son wanted an iPhone or to go to Algeria because it's the biggest country in Africa. He's into facts and figures. It's real cute. I want them to be smarter than me. Help me. I'm bad at directions and math. Help mama. Because I didn't even know where Algeria was. Don't get me, anybody. I was homeschooled. I know. Were you homeschooled? I was homeschooled, and it didn't work out. But I do a lot of things well, so, you know, people let me go. But there's more I can learn. I can be more defensively. It's awareness, right? It's accountability. I can learn more, you know what I mean? This is my break. I just feel the dragging happening in the comments already. No! I'm so sorry. But that's amazing, though. I love that. Yeah, I love it, too. It's, I, they don't, sometimes they feel like my kids, and sometimes they just feel like these beautiful souls that I get to watch, like, see the world through, like, their eyes or something. Like, it's so crazy. It gives me a second life. It does. And not to say, like, I'm living through my kid type of thing, but what I mean is, and you probably can relate to this, as any mom could, your kid, 40 years old. Forces you to just be present. Yes. Because there's no element of, like, all of us, like, I could do the whole, like, performing as a kid, but not even just performing as a kid. Oh, interesting. Performing as human beings. Yeah. We are all doing it to some degree. Yes. The moment that we become observed or in relation to somebody, we are expressing a part of ourselves that's not the same self when we're just there. Yes. At home, in a room by ourselves. Yes. And so, to that point, what, the great thing that I feel that has happened after having a kid is that when I'm in the moment, he's not expecting nothing. Yeah. There's no, there's no performance. There is no expression. There is no anything outside of authenticity. It's pure. It's pure that he expects from me. Yeah. And so, it's now, it's like now I'm being called to be there. It's beautiful. It's the best thing ever, man. It really is. It's really, really cool. And also, it takes so much work. It's so much time that when people are like, why don't we hang? I'm like, I got other things to do. Yes. I'm so sorry. And they're much more exciting. Sorry, bye. Kind of. Okay. I want to play this game with you before you go. Okay. So, I host this show called Password. Shout out to Jimmy Fallon. And we give one, like, I'm going to have a word, you're going to have a word, and we have to get each other to guess the word. So, like, let's say that the word is pancake, right? Yeah. In order to get you to say pancake, I might say, if IHOP is one word, I can't use it, I don't think, because it's an acronym. Okay. But I would say, let's say, IHOP, and then that'd make you say pancake. Oh, man, this is when you break up with me. Oh, no. There's no breaking up. - Okay. - This is yours. - Oh. - This is mine and we can just do three to four. okay okay do you want me to start or do you want to start i'll start okay let's go um wait and then i say one word or a couple so you can you say one word and then i'll and then i'll try to guess okay or i'll ask for another word like i'll ask for another hint got you sink sink that's the first word sink sink or or sank sank sank sank do i say another word now um i'll get another hint okay yeah because i'm not sure me neither oh you do i give you one yes one more is there a timer no um uh uh boat sank boat titanic yes boom did i do it right you did it right perfect i love the claps thank you for the claps um okay oh no are you ready for this no sure i'll be sure lanelle i love lanelle me too oh my gosh and she over there with That'll be now. They are. That look good. I'm so happy for her. Me too. Look at that. Bend it back, sis. Okay, so another hint. Okay. New. Sure. New. Sure, like a beach. Sure, sure, like, oh, yes, I'm sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. New. New. New. New. I think I need another hint. Sure. Okay. Wendy Williams? Oh, Jersey Shore. Yeah, just Jersey. Oh, so sorry. So I was doing, like, sure. I'm so bad at this, but I do appreciate your good neck. I maybe wasn't good. By the way, I learned recently in Pilates that I'm out of balance because this is where I live in my life. Oh, s***. I didn't know that that was actually putting me out of alignment. Oh, my God. This is how I live in my neck. That is so crazy. I never knew it because of s***. They told me, they were like, girl, you're like this. And I'm like, damn, it's because I live here. I'm all neck. Oh, s***. S*** is out of control. I'm so sorry. Yes. Okay. Oh, wow. Okay. Oh, wow. Okay. Is that the hint? No. What if I was like, s***. Just kidding. Okay. Yo. This fist? Wait. I know. I was like, what am I allowed to say? Singer. Okay. Well, that's a lot of folk. Oh, okay. But that helped. That's the breaking the ice. Another hint. Okay. Singer. Halftime show? That is a full sentence. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. Okay. Vegas. Singer. Vegas. That could be a lot of people. Oh, wait a minute. Usher. Yes. Wow. I really f***ed up the halftime show, but I didn't know that that was like, not one word. I'm howling. Yeah, halftime show did help me though. It did. Okay. Here's another one. Sorry, Jimmy. What could I do? What could I do? Okay. Wife. Wife. Wife. Wife. Okay, one second. Real housewife? Okay. Second, second hint is? Married. Wife. Married. Married. Wife is married. You want one more? Yes. Are you going to say woman? Man. Wife. Married. Man. Wait, now I need Pilates. My neck is f***ed up. Wife. Married. Man. So there's a priest? Okay, we're going to get this one. We're going to get this one. We are? This is the last one. Tuxedo. Oh, groom. basically husband. That's it? That was it. Husband. Husband. That's too broad. I did too much. It's me. No, it's not you. I'm supposed to be so good you guess. No. I gotta get my life right. This is also set up. Oh, IHOP. IHOP. It must be pancakes. It is. Was I not supposed to say that? I didn't know that IHOP was on there, guys. It's not IHOP, it's pancakes. Right, okay. I didn't know pancakes was on there. I didn't actually. That's crazy. This is how good you are. What can I say? It's my job. Okay, last one. I gotta pick a good one. Wait, wait. Is it the last one for you or for me? How many have we done so far? Three. I did three, you did three. That's right. So this is the last one for me. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Oh, God. Okay. Yes. Boots. What? Boots. Boots. Boots. Boots. Boots. Billy Porter, Kiki Boots. What? Boots and the cats. You're actually close. Really? Contextually, to some degree. Okay. Okay. Okay. Nancy Sinatra. These boots are made for walking. Dressy. Dressy. Boots. Okay. Okay. Okay. Are you the only child? No, you are, though. I am. I would have loved you to be one of my sisters. This is so fun. We would have too much fun. No. Girl. This is why I don't play games. Okay, um, um. Dressy Boots. Queen. Drag queen. Queen. No. Dressy. Dressy. Beyonce. Wendy Williams. Ah. What is she? A talk show host. A messy queen. That's what it is? The word was messy. Try it. Boots. Not as it makes me feel. Boots, that's why I had to do boots, like, boots. I should have did this. Boots. That would have served it more. It would have been. Because why did I go there? I don't know. I could have easily said, dirty. You know, something that involved mess. But I thought we would give life. Yeah, I'm so sorry. I did not meet you where your life was. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. OK, last one from you. Here we go. Hopefully, I get it. Ready? Ready? Yes. I'm going to give it to you in your language. I'm scared now. You should be. Me too. Neck. Neck. Wait, ready? Neck. Neck. That must have been-- Oh, my gosh. Ew. What is that? Ew. Ew. Ew. Blowjob? Legs, neck, a thigh. Oh, no, nobody. Oh, Sharon Stone. No. Oh, the legs. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's, yeah, I can see how you. Oh, my gosh, that could also have gone, too. That also could have gone, too. Remember that movie, Serial Mom? Anyway, random one. Do you remember that? No, but I do like Serial as a mom. Oh, my gosh, I'm not going to get it. No, you will. Stretching. Pilates? Yes! Wow, I need a drink. Yo, this has made me so hot. You are incredible. Thank you. I'm obsessed with you. It doesn't really get much better than Michelle Patel. This is so fun. We can't wait to see you at the next work event. I know. And then we're both going to Irish goodbye. We're all colleague-y. We're going to Irish goodbye at the same time. Literally. You're the best. So fun. You're the best. Congrats on everything. Thank you. You, too. And also, sex scene written by her. Just the scene. No movie. Just the sex scene. Coming soon. It's okay. It's good. Good job. Michelle, what I love about you is that you don't clean it up for people. You tell it like it is. And this conversation really felt like a reminder that confidence isn't something you're born with. It's something you choose over and over again. And to everybody listening, including me, let's not be afraid to grow and change. And let's definitely remain the main characters of our lives. Take a chance on yourself and don't let anybody telling you no stop you from seeing what's going on. It's possible. Because everything is possible. I'll see you next time on Baby. This is Kiki Palmer. Baby, this is, this is Kiki Baby, this is Kiki Poma, yeah