Michael Bublé asks about selfless acts

This is a HeadGum Podcast. HandsomePod. Chatting to friends on the HandsomePod. Cheers. Welcome to the HandsomePod. I'm one of your handsome ho- My voice is very deep this morning. Yeah, it is. Yeah. I'm Mary Cowboy. Whoa. I'm joined by- Fortune Feimster. And Tig Notaro. Yeah, Tig's back in her booth. I'm in my Colorado booth. Colorado booth. In the mountains. I am. I'm in the mountains. And I went rafting yesterday. Ooh. You got that rafting glow. Yeah. How was it? Yeah. It was really fun. It was so beautiful. And just floating down the- Floating down the river and saw so many just those kind of crazy nests in trees where like Big Bird probably lives, you know? Whoa. Yeah. I wonder where Big Bird lives. And seeing bald eagles and just unbelievably beautiful. Wow. It's tough. I think that's- Anytime you see a large animal like that in the wild, I think that's very auspicious. I'm still- Never mind. Don't- Don't check in with me much today. Why? What's going on? You're out of your mind? What's happening, man? Are you asleep? What's happening? Very auspicious. I was up really- I couldn't sleep. And yeah. Aw. Excited about the recording that you would see me and Fortune? Yeah, I was so excited. I can't wait to get on and talk about things with my pals. Just a hit song. Yeah, that is a good one. Yeah. I was up like- I was up like smoking cigarettes and doing work and like feeling very inspired. And then now I've ruined my whole day today. And wait, what kind of work were you up doing while you were smoking cigarettes? I was writing, I was painting, and I was organizing. I thought you about said orgasming. I was like, okay. Fortune Marie. I thought that's what they were saying. Fortune Marie. Sorry, Tig Marie. You know, I probably would have been- I would have been in bed earlier if I was, but- Mm-hmm. I don't know. You would have rested, been- Knocked myself out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So do cigarettes kind of get your creative juices flowing? No, and I have so much shame about it. I think it's more when I'm anxious and- Yeah, or stimulated. And so, yeah, I was- I don't know. I couldn't sleep. Anyway. That's all right. We'll take a little nap later today. Oh, yeah. I will. Or you'll go to bed right after this podcast. Yeah. Just wander back. When I used to smoke, I feel like it- I would always- Well, like if I was playing guitar, you know, I was 19 in my first apartment and just up all night smoking and- I know, but I'm 40. Yeah. Like, what am I doing? You know what I mean? But I was just curious if it made you feel creative, because I felt like when I would smoke, and I don't know if I was just like recreating what I thought was a cool vibe of, you know- Mm-hmm. Playing guitar and smoking, but I felt like it inspired me, you know? Like, oh, I got to have black coffee and a cigarette and get my guitar out. What was that that you just showed? It looked like burnt toast. Oh. Yeah, a slice of burnt toast. I was the same in my teens, but now I guess I still have that habit, but I don't think I'm like putting it on a pedestal or thinking it's cool. It's more like I'm like, I want to go to bed. I've got stuff to do, and then I, you know, I've been, you know, remember the fires around my house. Of course we remember the fires. Of course. We've been following this closely. We're worried about you. We're following the fires and your star meter, right? Oh, yeah. For the star meter and Mae's house. Then whether or not it's still on the hill. Thomas, in fact, can you check in and see where Mae's star meter is? I should just- I should just have on my wall like a big counter, a big like, you know, and I can change the numbers. Hitting number one is pretty difficult. But not just that. Fortune Mae stayed there for a long time. But you were the number one star in the world. In the world, Mae. Yeah, I need you to really take that in. You were the number one. Out of TV and film. You bumped Tom Cruise. You bumped Sandy Bullock. You bumped them all. Had any of us ever heard of the star meter before that? I'd never heard of the star meter. I've heard of it. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, because a lot of actors refer to IMDb for a lot of things. So it's kind of a- You're always like looking up who directors are, who people are that you're working with. And that's like the biggest place to see like people's resume as far as acting or directing. I should have got a lot more offers during that time. I should have been getting- And phone call. Well, that's why we're bringing it up again, okay? Because this is a big deal. And also, can you imagine, Fortune, if you had just signed on to a project or you were meeting? You didn't know Mae yet. And you were like, oh, I'm meeting with this person, Mae Martin. And then you go on IMDb. It's like, oh my God, I'm meeting with the number one star of TV and film in the whole world. Thomas, where is Mae landing? So bizarre. Mae is number 355. Ooh, that's still massive. I don't really understand how- That's a mighty doofal. I don't understand how it works is in March. In March, I was 85. Okay. And now I'm 4,000. Well, you've been slacking off, Fortune. I really don't understand how it works. Wait till the hawk comes out. I think I cracked the mystery, which is just that Wayward was number one. I was number one for a moment, and people were Googling to find out what gender I am. I think that's it. It was number one in Saudi Arabia. It was people just going, what is this? But I didn't have anything happen in March. Wait, I didn't know you could look back and see other months. I've just seen it when I- You can go back five years. Five years? Whoa. Where was Mae five years ago? I'd like to see the chart. When you go to your page, you just click on Star Meter, and it shows you the line graph. Guys, I just realized we're just about to boost both of your profiles quite a bit. And we need to make sure we have a regular check-in with Mae's Star Meter. Actually, that's really good. If we mobilize any listeners in this podcast just to just go on IMDb and check out all three of us. But do you think it's- The Star Meter is like- Is it like people Googling us? Is that what it is? I don't really understand it. I wish I knew. I think it's people visiting our IMDb pages. Is it press hits and searching? I don't really know. I don't. Thomas, do you know how Mae is- I think it's people looking at our IMDb pages. Trying to find out our genders. Yeah. Seriously. They're confused about all three of us. That's not me being humble. That is the only explanation that I can think of. Because there is no way. Who are these three? What are these genders? What am I looking at? Yeah. And is there a project in Mae Martin's history where the gender is clearer? Still no. Still no. Oh my God. That's so funny. Gender alert. I got off IMDb and got on gender alert. Gender. These people are like, we got to get to the bottom of this. We got to get to the bottom of this. So you went rafting. Oh, yes. I went rafting. Yeah. I'm here. I've been here in Aspen, you know, with my dear, dear love. Tony. Tony. Who you sent me a picture of and has just the kindest face. Yes. Because it's true. It's true. We love a kind face. Yes. He's got it. But yeah, he went on a rafting. He went on a raft full of lesbians. He was like, this is my sweet spot. Were these lesbians you knew? Two of them. The actress Beth Malone, who I told you, I think I mentioned she was the star of Fun Home on Broadway. Yep. That's right. She's a real talent. And her wife, Shelly, and their gaggle of pals. Fortune loves a gaggle of gals. I love a gaggle of gals. It's truly my favorite. Yeah. Well, this was a gaggle, and they were no joke rafters. Well, really? They're on the river every day. Oh, my God. That's a hardcore lesbian right there. I mean, seriously. You got to bring up the slack in the back, ladies. That was truly it. Yeah. That was truly it. Did you ever see that movie with Meryl Streep, and she's a whitewater rafter? Oh, Riverwild. The Riverwild with Kevin Bacon is the bad guy. and he's so hot in that movie and she's doing a lot of, Paddle, paddle. Yeah. Yeah. And speaking of hot, I mean, he has aged well, that Mr. Bacon. He's a good looking man. Yeah. He's like, he should be number one on Star Meter. He should be number one all the time. Nobody deserves it more than you, Mae. Okay. We're not. You know what? I have the most star power of any human. Should we transition this podcast into IMDb Star Meter? Star Meter. Star Meter talk. Star Meter watch. Star Meter watch. Good morning. The date is Thursday, June. And checking in today on the Star Meter, we've got a spike. And then everyone's like, what is this? We were, of course, unable to get this number one star on our podcast. Yes. Everyone listening is like, what is this Star Meter? Wait, actually, Thomas, who's number one? Who is number one right now? Yeah. Should we guess? Who took Mae's spot? Let's guess. I think it's, it should be Kevin Bacon. I think it's like what's in the zeitgeist right now is what I think it is. But how much of a heart attack and stroke would we all have if I was the number one on Star Meter? I'm going to say one of the off-campus. I'd be screaming. I'm going to say one of those off-campus stars. I'm going to go with Belmont somebody. His name's Belmont. Belmont. Belmont. Belmont. Belmont. I'm going to go with Hudson Williams from A Heat of Rivalry. Okay. Thomas, do you know? It's Indy Navarette from Obsession. Who? Obsession. Oh, that's the movie. Oh, Obsession. I want to see that. But I don't know Indy Navarette. Yeah, well, that's the number one star in the world. I think the number one's like breakout people. It's the people who people are saying, huh? But not like, huh? It's like a lot of people. A lot of people have watched them do something, and it's in the zeitgeist, and they're like, you know, their star has exploded. Okay, but it's also, what is their gender? Yeah. That's our other podcast. What is their gender? Yeah, what is their gender? And we take people, and we even take objects. We even, we'll have a whole episode. What is its gender? This can. Oh, my God. It's just a bunch of men trying to get a picture. To get to the bottom of it. We've got to figure this out. I won't sleep until I know. Well, I've been talking about that on stage when Max and Finn were five. I was writing a bedtime story, and Finn interrupted me mid-story. Just a children's bedtime story. Could not focus on it, because he had to ask me when he was five, Mayor, are you a boy or a girl? And then I talk about how funny it is to me that, you know, he was saying to Max, like, I'm going to ask her. I've got to get to the bottom of this mystery. Like, I have to know what I'm looking at. Who will not? Because I cannot concentrate on this simple bedtime story. Yeah. That's really good. But, yeah, I would, I'm up for what's, what's, what's your gender? What's your gender? What gender is this? Yeah. It's the gender reveal show. That's what it is. It's a gender reveal show. Well, we're on to something, y'all. Yes, we are. What, how's, how's, what, what, May? I was going to check in with Fortune. Oh, let's check in with Fortune, yeah. Okay. Oh, thank you guys for asking. I'm doing pretty good. I'm finally getting my house in order. I have furniture now. Because you've been standing. I've been standing for the past few months, right? I've been standing except for this desk. I've ordered the last of it, like, artwork and rugs. The last thing I have left are lamps. There's one behind you. This one probably won't stay because it's, it doesn't quite go with anything. It's just a fun yellow lamp. It's pretty yellow, but it looks like that thing, that drawing where you can see two faces in it, you know? Oh. Yeah. I was, during one of my faves. One of my faves is where I thought big pops of color were, where it was at. I love that phase of yours. My gay designers are just like. Remember when Fortune wasn't doing big pops of color? My gay men designers are just like, no, this is not the state. And I'm just like, okay. Yeah. So. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking you have time to play a game when I get a group of friends together. We all do. We all lose. I know not all my co-hosts agree, but I love a game. And now I'm sad I missed an opportunity when I had people over last night. Yeah. Checking first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. 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It's just all in my website. Well, it's like, oh, do I need to go to like a, do I need another type of website to like find the right pictures or to like another type of website to upload the like- Yeah, no, it's all in one place. The video or the audio or like, no, I want, it makes it easy, make it easy on me, please. Yes, and you can do all those things, photos, videos, changing fonts. The designs are amazing. They're catering to all your different needs. There are SEO tools, which I know what those, are, and there are custom domains. Oh, let's come up with a domain right now. Let's see. I wonder if it exists. www. Friends meeting. Friends. Friendsmeetingfriends.com. That's an original thing that we came up with. Friendsmeetingfriends. Anyway, so check out squarespace.com slash headgum for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code headgum to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell, sounds easy. Anybody could do it. We went through a bunch of fun memorabilia the other day to get framed. So at some point, there's going to be some fun things on the wall because getting stuff together to get framed is a real pain in the ass. Let me tell you. Do you keep all of the memorabilia or are you like, this is special, this is not? I don't keep all the memorabilia. I keep things that I'm like, oh, at some point, this would be cool in a frame on a wall. But it has been. And some of this memorabilia I've had for like five years. That's how long it's taken me to get my stuff together. You mean memorabilia like from your career, like specials or tours or yeah, yeah. Yeah, like my first Hatch poster at like the Ryman or like my first tour poster or like there's a cool thing they gave me at Celebrity Wheel of Fortune with my name on it. You know, like little fun things that someone drew. The artists do a really cool painting of Biggie, things like that. Yeah. And then and then they gave me as my wrap gift, our special effects guy on the Hawk gave me these really amazing blown up black and white photos. Oh, I love that. And they're really cool. And I'm getting those framed to put in my den. And one's really cool. I've got I'm like stretched out holding this thing and Will is staring at me it's and that like, the black and white of it looks very artsy. So yeah, and timeless. And that's good. So yeah, I'm excited about that. And I'm doing good. What? What? I can't believe we'd forgotten to ask about your butthole. But I didn't forget I was not going to ask because I don't need to know. For those of you who didn't listen to the last episode, I got a colonoscopy. My friend Natalie Mains from the Chicks picked me up from my colonoscopy. I'm going to mute you. And people told me, why didn't she sing Wide Open Spaces? And I was like, that's a good one. And now, update, she's texted me and was like, I now need you to pick me up in August for something. And I'm like, I got you, girl. I like that. We're friends that pick each other up from appointments. That's really nice. That's when you know you're aging. Yeah. Can you pick me up from my doctor's appointment, from my colonoscopy? That's where we're at. We're picking each other up from doctor's appointments. This is wild. I want to know when your bright pops of color phase was. Yeah, me too. Good question. Thank you so much. It was pre-marriage. Oh. I had just gotten my first house. And that. That was okayed by Jax. No, I wasn't with her then. I know, but you carried it into the marriage and she approved it. No, she did not approve it. She's not a color gal. She's blacks and whites and grays. This lived in my office. That was the one space where I could live like a college student. Where you can let your freak flag fly. So we're saying that's special. Where you had the pink suit. That wasn't during the pops of color phase? No. Good question, Mae. That is a good question, Mae. You're right on in that assessment. It was not during my pops of color decor phase. But it clearly was a pops of color wardrobe phase. Are you still in that right now? No, I think for my next special, I'm going to go back to regular. Like bomber jacket pants. Yeah, or no pants. Bomber jacket, no pants. I'm going to go back to that. I don't think I'm going to go as bold. I think you do it for one and then you switch it up, you know? Sure, that makes sense. We're waiting for the gown special. Can you imagine if I. I don't think I would be comfortable. My entire set would be me tugging at. Tugging? At what? That's what the special is called. Tugging. Tugging. At. Tugging it. Tugging it. Tugging it. Oh my God. But I think I go through phases where I'm into pops of color. And right now, everything in my house, there's not many pops of color. I never thought I would hear the phrase pops of color so many times today. I didn't anticipate it and I love it. It surprised me too. Yeah. That's what I have to contribute to the design of my house. These gay guys will be very like dialed in. And then I go. What about a pop of color? And they ignore me. You can do a pop of color in your kitchen with lemons and oranges in a bowl. You're right. I do currently have a pop of color in my kitchen with a red KitchenAid mixer. Oh, that'll do it. Oh, that's a pop. But here's how easily I'm influenced by these gay guys. Is that what they asked to be called? Yeah. That's what I was going to say. Yeah. Jesus. It's my endearing. Yeah. Okay. These gay guys came over. My gay. Every time I see them, I go, here are my gaggle of gay men to help me design my house. My non-binary designers came over today. My non-binaries came over. My bisexual gardener was here today. I have a bar cart in my den because I love a bar cart. And they somehow convinced me. Who did? The gays. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Somehow convinced me to buy a framed picture of Roger Moore, the original Bond, smoking a cigarette and drinking a drink because they were like obsessed with this picture. And I'm like, but is this weird that like me as a lesbian has Roger Moore? And I got them away from it. And then they came back to it. And now I have bought this photo. And I'm like, so now I'm going to have Roger Moore drinking. Cigarette with a drink. And people, what I love about it is that anyone that knows me is going to come into my house and be like, why do you have this? And I'm just going to be like, since when are you. The gays. You know what you need to change that out with? What? A picture, a framed picture of Dudley Moore. Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. Yeah. They did try to even it out with a very large picture in like literally the main part of the wall. It's a long framed photo of, it's a vintage photo of like six women from like the 60s in those vintage bathing suits with long, long surfboards. So that was their way of being like, here's the lesbian part. Is that the lesbian part? Is any of this representative of your personality? No, but it's going to look cool. I say take all that garbage out and put your flash of. Of color light lamp in there. No, I do have some pops of color in there. When y'all come over, you're going to see that there are parts. When are we coming over? I have an idea for a gift for you. The end of July. Or you're not going to be in town, Tig. I'm not home until early September. God, why are you doing this? Fortune, I don't want to fight on the show in front of everybody. Why are you leaving for so long? Jesus. I got things to do. I got movies to film. I got jokes to tell. I got mountains to climb. That's fine. I'm every mountain. Well, at some point. Well, May will come over whenever May wants to. And at some point, you will come over. No, May's not going over there. May's going to come over here. Fortune, you quiet. I think I'm going to have my mom come visit at the end of July. Well, that's good. Oh, I'll come when Ginger's there. Yeah. I'll have people over. I'm going to. This is what I want to get you. It's a big frame. But you remember that ad we do for Aura photo frames? Where you digitally. So it's going to be like a big, giant digital frame. And it's live updated of whoever's number one on Star Meter. Yes. And every day. I think Tony's locked out. Not Tony locked out. Tony's locked out. Knock three times on the ceiling if you won't be. Twice on the pipes. Means you ain't going to show. Me to Mimi in the hallway. That's on the pipes. That was just a really. You know that song? It's Tony Orlando, isn't it? If you were going to have a little summation of our sort of comedic personas, it was that. It was getting back on Fortune mid-sign. Take just a little facial expression of what the. What is it? What did I miss? Look of disgust. And they just giggling. Giggling. Really giggling. This is so disgusting. I think it's Tony Orlando who sings that song. Your friend's name's Tony and he knocked on your door. There's a lot of tie-ins here. Come on, knock on my door. We've been waiting for you. Three's coming to you. Oh, you guys. That's all I have in me. I'm going to get my mom out of here. I'm going to get my mom out of here and get her in her bikini and get her in. Fortune. Cool. Does she have a bikini? What the heck is going on between you two? No, but you know. I can't wait to get my mom out here in her bikini. Get her in the tits out, Tom. You need to get a framed picture of her in your bar. I know. And that's the lesbian. Yeah, that would be a good surprise for her, too, if she showed up and there was a big. She would love it. Yeah. She would love it. She would love a picture of herself or just the name Ginger. She loves her name in places. I'm trying to do. I'm trying not to bring it down, but I guess I am. Her last scan was not good. Oh, I'm sorry. And there's more cancer, so I'm just trying to schedule some fun things together. Yeah. I'm sorry, Fortune. It's all right. And you're going to get her out to L.A. as much as possible? Yeah, I mean, well, I mean, it won't be, like, all the time. She just hasn't been here, and she wants to see my pops of color in my house. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I'm going to go there this summer quite a bit, and she'll come here, and we'll just do it up. Yep. We're sending a lot of love. Yes, indeed. We'll find it. Yeah. Make some special fun plans. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well. Anyway. Why did I do that? Why did I do that? Well, because it's. Because that's part of life. Yeah. It's a. Things pop in, and they're not always just bright, pretty colors. Yeah. Life pops. Life pops. Yeah. How is Ginger doing? Yeah. How was she after that scan? Yeah, I think it kind of took the wind out of her sails a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. It's weird because. i don't know why i brought this up it's so stupid no it's not i was literally talking about the buttholes oh my god what's wrong with me singing one second my mom's cancer's growing oh my god i'm so insane but that's what it's like that is yeah that's the reality is oh it's it's weird because she's lost like so much weight she's lost like 100 pounds so on her outside she has never looked better and never looked healthier so it was a real moment for me to be like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry it was a real moment for me to be like oh my god i'm so sorry it was a real moment for me to be like oh my god i'm so sorry whoo yeah nice hey handsome pod it's whoo yeah nice hey handsome pod it's whoo yeah nice hey handsome pod it's michael blue like hiding in my laundry michael blue like hiding in my laundry michael blue like hiding in my laundry slash liquor cabinet thing room so my slash liquor cabinet thing room so my slash liquor cabinet thing room so my kids don't ruin this kids don't ruin this kids don't ruin this my question is what is the most my question is what is the most my question is what is the most charitable and selfless thing charitable and selfless thing charitable and selfless thing that you have ever done i've done so that you have ever done i've done so that you have ever done i've done so many so many what's the most selfless charitable thing what's the most selfless charitable thing what's the most selfless charitable thing that you've done that no one will ever that you've done that no one will ever that you've done that no one will ever or has never heard about because you or has never heard about because you or has never heard about because you just did it because it was in your heart just did it because it was in your heart just did it because it was in your heart to do it and you really didn't want to do it and you really didn't want to do it and you really didn't want anyone to know anyone to know anyone to know can you tell us thanks oh can you tell us thanks oh can you tell us thanks oh fine finally we get a platform to tell fine finally we get a platform to tell fine finally we get a platform to tell to toot our own horns all of our logged on this could be the most insufferable um even his speaking voice is so smooth and i was just gonna say in tune can you do a michael buble impersonation um okay um and i'm feeling good oh the answer is no that was quick i think my voice is deep enough to to try it today i want to go home what's the that song what about another something some another something some and i want to go home that was that better too let me go home okay i googled some lyrics okay you're a fallen star you're a getaway car you're the line in the sand when i go too far that was thank god you have that deep voice this morning i can't believe yeah good thing you're smoking all night i mean smoky rats to be clear i think i had three cigarettes it wasn't crazy to be queer to be queer we can hear it say what but i like the i'm feeling good that's a sexy song i mean let's hope he didn't listen to this let's hope he did we're in the business of singing with people on stage yeah yeah that's true get me put me in coach yeah give me this give me this opportunity give me buble give me buble well the the tricky part of his question is something nice that you just said but i like the i'm feeling good you've done that you haven't told anybody about because that's rare for me like i you know you're doing something nice you want to guess all the goodness um oh god i haven't done anything nice for anyone this is tough yeah this is might be the hardest question we've ever been asked because now i have to think of something nice charitable thing that we've done charitable thing that we've ever done time Tony, take a bus up from Denver to hang out with me. That was pretty charitable, too. Yeah, yeah. You let him stay in your apartment. Hotel. My hotel. Your hotel that had an extra room. And you didn't charge him. That was nice. Or did you? Did you charge him? A little bit. Un poco. What's the most charitable thing anyone's ever done for you? Who's coming into my driveway, y'all? Someone is doing something charitable for me currently because someone's in my driveway and I feel like they're about to drop something off. If it's a bomb, that's not. Y'all. What? Girl. Y'all. Girl, what? I'm getting someone's, I think it's my radio show, just delivered me cupcakes. Why? Why? Just for being you? Just for being me. Because it's my birthday. It's not your birthday? Not today, but in a couple days, it's my birthday. And I'm going to be out of town for my birthday, so it looks like they just dropped off cupcakes. I thought they'd just deliver you morning cupcakes every day. That would be 500 pounds. That would be bigger than I am now. Anyway, that was very nice of them. What kind of cupcakes do you like, just for future reference? I like red velvet. Me too. I like chocolate with peanut butter. I like carrot. I like chocolate with even darker. I like darker chocolate little chunks in the chocolate. Oh, that sounds good. I like a chocolate cake cupcake with vanilla ice cream, like white. Icing, icing. Wait, is this what Michael asked us? Yeah, no, wait, okay. Most charitable thing we've ever done. I mean, I always try to do nice things for people. Like, it's so weird to be like, I did this and this, but like. Yeah, like I do big charity things. But then I talk about it incessantly, like the book of animal paintings. I did Doctors Without Borders, but, you know. That's really nice. Now, can charitable be just like. Interpersonal? Yeah, helping a friend out. Like, I'm going to pick up Natalie from her doctor's appointment. I can think of in my teens, so many people that were charitable with me. Like, I had a friend. Well, it was my girlfriend at the time, and I was living in her parents' basement. And then I think they wanted me out. And so they. They paid my first and last month's rent on a place. That was really nice. Because they wanted you out? I think they were like, get out of here. We've had it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. A lot of my teachers were very charitable with me with their time and energy. Yeah. Which I was always very appreciative of. They spent extra time with me when they could see, like, if things were hard at home. They would spend extra time in the morning just checking on me. You know, if I was not great with math, so, like, teachers would take extra time to, like, go over that with me. You seem like you're good at math now. You're crunching numbers, especially. I can crunch numbers, but it's, like, more of the, like, algebra and geometry of it all. Like, that bullshit that you only need if you're, like, an architect. Yeah. Which we're not. So, you know, people were charitable with me when I really needed it. Like, growing up, we didn't have much. We didn't have much money, and the recreation department, like, got me, like, a scholarship to a tennis summer camp. You know, like, things like that made a big difference. Did you wear a tennis skirt? I did not. I wore shorts, but I had to wear a skirt in college. Ugh. Was it an ugh about college? No, about the tennis skirt. So, I've always tried to, like, do that kind of stuff in return. Like, help people out if they need, you know. Especially in college. How many, like, with openers, like, you try to give them people opportunities if they're, like, a good person, and they're funny, and they work hard. I really, you know, try to do things for them in that way as far as, like, bringing them on the road or introducing them to people. Like, I like to think of, like, oh, this person's funny. He'd be good on this show, and if he's on that show, that would be good exposure for him for this. Yeah. I try to be charitable in that way in the careers. I don't run a – I don't have my own show. I don't have my own show or anything like that, so I can't just employ people. But I'm always trying to put people with other people to network for them. How come you haven't done that for me? You don't need it, my friend. Yeah, how come you never let Tig open for you? Tig does not need it, and Mae's the number one star meter, so you guys are good. Mae's the number one star in the world. My biggest charity case is my mother. I'm always buying – my parents, I'm always buying stuff. Oh, for my parents. Well, they deserve it. I know. Yeah, yeah. I try to be generous in general. I've worked in an orphanage. This is so hard for us. Well, it's because, like, there's charity stuff, but then it's, like, a charitable act. Yeah. Well, there's – I've been trying to – I met this older couple when I was on tour. I probably – maybe I talked about them. They were security guards at one of my shows. And then I met them – I saw them in the parking lot after, late at night. It was, like, midnight. And they were going through the garbage. They were collecting cans, and they – and so I – then they came – well, the guy came over, and they were in their 60s. And he said, I'm embarrassed you saw me collecting cans, but, like, we've been working since 7 a.m. on other jobs. Then we took the job to do security at your show. Now we're going to trade these cans in because my wife has cancer, and we are broke. And we – she's – Beating the cancer, but it's, like, medical bills. And then – so they – and then I met the wife, and they really stayed with me. These two – because they were borderline living in their van, you know? And then I got all their details, and now I can't – because they're not getting back to me, and I want to be charitable. And I'm, like, trying to find – like, I've been emailing and being, like – Maybe tell them you're the number one star in the world. I want to – yeah, I just want them to know that. Yeah. No, but I really want to, like, set up a GoFundMe or just help out with some cash. But I don't know how you find people. Or maybe they're, like, fuck off. I don't know. You never know. Yeah. Tig? Tig? Well, you know, it's interesting because years ago when Hurricane Katrina happened and it leveled my hometown in Mississippi, and, you know, of course, was so destructive in New Orleans and so many other places. But I have a lot of family and friends out there, and I just – I thought, well, what – this is the first time I learned the power of connection through social media because I wasn't on social media. And this woman I was dating put it on her social media that I was going to rent trucks to bring food and clothing. And diapers and stuff to drive that out there. And people were showing up with cash. And for two days, like, around the clock, people were in my front yard and house, like, folding clothes and packing things. And I remember it was such an interesting moment because I was personalizing it, thinking, like, God, this is so nice that people are helping me in my town. And that area of the country I came from. And then it was like, oh, right, this has nothing to do with me. Right. Me organizing this doesn't have anything to do with me and people donating. Because people, I think, just instinctually want to be helpful. And then you become this vessel to create action and help. And then once – Once I had that real understanding of, like, this is – I am not in this equation. This is truly – you're setting up a way for people to be involved and to help. And it just – it was a really big learning curve for me. That's nice. As embarrassing as it is to admit that I was initially thinking, like, God, this is so nice for helping me out because of my town. And I'm like, this doesn't have a thing to do with me. You know? Yeah. Well, that's – that is the one nice thing about having some sort of platform is, like, sometimes you don't exactly know how to help. But you are sort of able to get information out to people better than others. So, like, when the hurricane happened in western North Carolina, like, you feel helpless. Like, I can't go. I can't go there and do anything. But, like, I can post about, donate to here or here. This is a good charity. This is legit. And then people start writing you and be like, you know, can you post about this? And so being the person that, like, sort of just gets – because, like you said, people want to help in these crises. Yeah, you become the vessel. Yeah. They don't know where to put their money or what to do. And so if there's someone facilitating that, it's really helpful. Yeah. Yeah. I'll also say. - Yeah. charities what they what is so helpful to them is like regular monthly donations even if it's small because it allows them to budget and plan plan and change the services they offer and stuff and see where they're coming out short so even like five bucks a month for yeah especially non-government funded charities that's something something that my in my 20s so i would highly recommend this to any young people out there who for a multitude of reasons want to help and also like bring people together like in a kind of communal way uh when i was in my 20s i lived with two roommates and none of us had much money but we would we had a yard so we would throw these um backyard barbecues like once every like six months and we would make it a potluck where like we just bought like hamburgers and hot dogs and everybody would bring everything else and i was a journalist at the time and so i would get a lot of random things and like gift bags or like dvds or whatever so i would accumulate all these random and it some of it was like the dumbest stuff that like you would throw away or not want but like it's funny so i'd accumulate all this stuff and because we lived in la we knew all these different talented performers and like a magician singers improv artists actual artists like and at every barbecue we would have like three or four groups of people perform one of their talents and we would have this raffle for these dumb presents and we would raise we would pick a random charity and we never raised a ton of money but you know a couple hundred bucks because everybody our age just didn't have much money um but we would raise like 500 bucks or something and donate it to a local charity and then and people had the best time and the process they we we had people like meet their future partners they got married meet people that connected at work stuff like we just brought all these random people together that we all knew and in the process raised money um in a little way such a good way to build a community too a little block party yeah it's one of my favorite memories from my 20s so if anyone's ever looking to just sort of you know branch out in your area um that was a really cool way to do it nice yeah well aren't we good you know we're so you guys we're so good we're such good karma is vast yeah and all the good ways i mean it's like the the stories we could tell of the good we have done i mean luckily you know i think everybody you know hopefully finds their own way to yeah to get back in whatever way they can i mean that's the thing financial yeah yeah sometimes people think it has to be this huge huge act of um giving or kind of just the tiniest thing people also really need volunteers like like food on foot and and also with midterms coming up like boots on the ground people knocking on doors for small grassroots campaigns yeah i thought you meant midterm exams for a second yeah but midterms are coming up i gotta get the boots on the ground boots on the ground but if we in financial terms big shout out from this podcast to mackenzie scott because this article just came out that of last year of the 19 billion dollars that was donated donated by big the big money people she was a third of it who's mackenzie scott the ex-wife's ex-wife yeah oh no way and she just said fuck it um she got a lot of money in their divorce and she is giving it in boatloads yeah to various charities but like really amazing like to women's health to um historic black colleges to like um she's one of those billionaires that's understanding she doesn't need all of that money yeah and she's i mean elon musk just became a trillionaire right yeah sickitating it's absolutely like just nauseating that she is doing incredible stuff it's so it's so amazing to see someone with that power and not flashy about it i don't know yeah yeah she's just uh it's it's wild so we need more of that people can or could do and what people aren't and don't well she's putting all them rich people to shame she's doing incredible stuff so shout out to her and shout out to anybody else who's doing cool stuff for other people keep it up should we hear what incredible stuff michael's doing yeah let's hear it yes let's i didn't realize i had to answer my question i would have asked a way simpler question if i had known i had to answer my own something like that how do you wash your bum anyway so my answer to my question is i think the most selfless maybe charitable thing that i've done never told anybody was that i bring my kids to a toy store a lot and we buy toys so that we can donate them to the children's hospital and uh but my kids are still little so they don't understand why we're buying toys but none of them are for them they're for the other kids and even though i mean they're beautiful but they yeah they're very beautiful they're very disappointed in me for many years and i feel like that's a pretty selfless thing can i can i just say that um i had sent thomas the question video that michael had sent me and then thomas said hey can you send the answer video and i'd forgotten so i quickly sent and i sent it to a different thomas friend of mine my friend tom aaron just and he got this video of michael buble being like anyway guys this is what i did really his his response like he tried to roll with it as though he thought i sent it to him because i thought he'd enjoy it he's like wow this is great anyway so he's like so cool that he goes to uh toys and i was like oh this is not for you thanks you're just like look at what michael like canadian giving spirits yeah i love it but that is great to teach that lesson to his kids at a young age too yeah for sure my brother's really good about that he's they're always like his wife will have them um go through their room when they were especially when they're little go through toys and be like we're gonna donate this amount to charities and yeah you know anytime they got something new they would donate other things i felt that was a good a good foundation to start at a young age when you were a kid did you ever collect pennies and then do you remember putting them in those little rolls of to donate still do it still do it no way i uh i haven't seen a penny in years world they stopped making them now they did just mint the last penny that was a thing they minted the last penny that's heartbreaking actually yeah yeah so now places have to like round up or down outrageous outrageous what does this world come to yeah we were so generous giving away our pennies all those years ago and i'm feeling good birds flying high oh that's a good oh yeah that's good sun in the sky you know how i feel don't you know it's a new day oh wait that is the same song i was like that's a great song too oh you guys what a podcast i just need you to know that i'm saving for a future episode a a car incident that happened to me i'm saving it for next time okay you're gonna save it for the next one tune in tune in next week we're gonna be on the edge of our seats wait tune in either next week or another week yeah that would be funny if at the end of each episode we gave a teaser like i promised you next week we're going to talk about this car incident next week we reveal may's star uh meter that's at the end of every episode i have some tour dates if anybody cares yeah i do we care okay well uh i'm gonna be in rochester new york i am going to be in calgary i'll be in iowa city des moines omaha oklahoma city charleston west virginia chattanooga knoxville olympia washington fresno and napa and more dates are coming and bigger markets also will be added down the road uh go to tignotaro.com for all of the information that you possibly need yeah um starting august 6 i picked my tour back up again in west hampton beach new york uh then the foxwood casino in connecticut red bank new jersey uh halifax canada provincetown mass greenville south carolina wilmington north carolina that's all in august and then there's tons more like boise portland oregon austin chattanooga caton louisville and um madison durham oakland bakersfield la palm springs uh nashville and then filming my special in denver which they have been Denver's been crushing it with this I'm so excited I think we're going to end up doing three shows maybe Tony will show up Tony get on that I'll turn the milk on my door I have in the next few days I have warm up shows for my special taping in Toronto at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre on the 22nd 23rd and 24th and then on the 26th I'm taping in Montreal doing two shows I hope that they're sold out by now when this comes out but if they haven't please come there and then the 29th I'm back in LA at Largo and then the 30th I'm at UCB with Alana Johnston and Matt Follett. Unbelievable and also please rate and review this podcast it helps us like you'd never believe also subscribe to the audio and YouTube and we come out one day early on Hulu if you can't wait for this nonsense and also if you're looking for a fun new show to watch The Hawk is on Netflix right now streaming very fun show that I'm in amazing and you should watch it I mean but imagine then by the time this comes out the star meter oh may our star meters are going to be off the charts I'm going to fall off of the charts you guys we're going to bump you off yeah you're going to bump me fully off well until next time what do you say we keep it handsome handsome is hosted by me Fortune Feimster Tig Notaro and Mae Martin the show is produced recorded and edited by Thomas Ouellette email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at handsome pod what a podcast what a podcast that was a hate gum podcast checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance not checking what night the family chose for movie night this weekend my mistake I just popped a truckload of popcorn but it turns out we're watching a movie tomorrow night I'm about to give myself a stomachache making sure the corn doesn't go to waste yeah checking first is handsome so check all state first for a new podcast for an auto quote it could save you hundreds you're in good hands with all state potential savings vary subject to terms conditions and availability all state North American insurance company and affiliates Northbrook Illinois