MFM Minisode 503

This is exactly right. Welcome aboard season six of the Girlfriends Flight or Fight, which takes place 30,000 feet in the sky. A beautiful woman smiles and hands you a scotch. But you have no idea just how messed up her job actually is. It was the most sexist job I think you could have. Until one day, a group of stewardesses spark a revolution that reshaped America. Listen to the Girlfriends Flight or Fight on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Why do some women yearn for Shakira's black hair to make a comeback? And whatever happened to the power couple of my dreams, Mariah Carey and Luis Miguel, I'm Maria Garcia. You may remember me from my podcast, Anything for Selena or My Devil. And now I'm back to unpack more stories from the present and the past. Listen to Mui excited with Maria Garcia on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armason here. The dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form. We're launching Podlandia AO rewatch. Our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together. Breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Kreisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician, Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvise not just words, but a song about it. I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. We'll listen to Podlandia AO rewatch on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. [MUSIC] Hello. And welcome to my favorite murder, the mini-sode. We read you, your stories, and emails. And emails, and stories of emails. Stories where you're writing emails to us. Talk to feelings about email. Your first time first. Whatever you want. I'll go first. OK. So this was an email that I found when I was researching back for episode 544, where I covered the Paul Franz Actous appearance, the baby who was kidnapped as a literal, like, two-day old from the hospital. Yeah. So it's called, "Was my dad adopted or stolen at birth?" Wow. Hey, best pals. I've been putting this email together in my head for months now. So here we go. My dad, Jeff, was a wild dude and lived life fast in extreme. When I was young, I would ask him to tell me his craziest stories. He paint beautiful pictures of his younger self, convincing the cops to buy him and his friends beers, and smoking doobies on their way to their fifth Rolling Stones concert. Just regular bedtime stories every father tells his daughter, right? As I got older, and because I've always been a murderino at heart, these stories slowly became more murdery, like how his friend Ray was acquitted for the murder of his wife in 1996. But everyone in town knows that he probably did it. But that's not the story I'm here to tell you today. Sadly, my larger-than-life dad died of colon cancer complications this past February. At his celebration of life, we were all telling stories with tears in our eyes. Then out of nowhere, my dad's cousin Donna says, "I always remember us making fun of Jeff for being that stolen baby from Chicago." Man, he hated that. Come again, first cousin once removed Donna. What came next was the unfolding of my dad's final wild story. The one that was so good he didn't want to tell me in person. He wanted me to do the digging myself. So everyone knew my dad was adopted. This is something that he never really cared about. He would always say in a very South Side Chicago accent, "My mom's my mom, dad's my dad." That's all that should matter to you guys. My dad was born and adopted on April 24th, 1964 by my grandparents. On that same day, Paul Joseph Franzack was stolen from a Chicago hospital by a woman dressed as a nurse. - Same day. - Same day. And then he was adopted. So it's so suspicious. Like look at all the people who adopted babies on that exact day who were born there. And you'll find-- - The turnaround, though. - Yeah, turnaround. - That's very true. But that turnaround is like, wouldn't you think that the person-- - Well, exactly, it's not. This launched a huge man hunt and baby searched the FBI. Tested an exam in over 10,000 babies, one of which was my dad. They came back multiple times to examine my dad and took multiple hair and blood samples. The authorities were highly suspicious of my grandparents as they weren't my dad's biological parents. And their lawyer was under suspicion of black market adoptions. And he says, okay. And then it goes on to say, it's clearly not him. It dried up. Another baby was found to be him, but it wasn't. - Obviously-- - This is a story I told. - Obviously, it wouldn't be him, right? - Because you would have told that during your actual story. - Right. - I don't know what the-- - I don't know. Just like, let's do it, isn't it? - It's suspicious. So episode by 44 is where you can read, you can hear about that story. And then it's this email goes on to say that she's been reading Paul Franzack's book called The Founding, which he wrote. And then she says, this has been such a comforting way for me to cope with the loss of my dad. Only murderinos get it. Thank you for giving my dad's story a voice. It means more to me than you will ever know. I've been on the hunt for my dad's bio family because in my grief, that's just what feels right. So murderino fam, if you know anyone born in that timeframe with a last name, Schwer, S-C-H-W-E-R-E-R, hit me up. Wow. And of course, a huge U-Rule for normalizing mental health issues and everything that comes with it. If Pro-Sec is your bestie, say, hey, hey, hey, stay sexy and hug your dad for me, Allie. So it's Allie Schwer. Check it. I mean, if you know something, look her up. - Get onto our discord. - Or message me, yeah. - Sol, message me. - That's a just five, five, nine, five. - Call the hotline. We've just added in stuff. - Not crazy? - Yeah, that's wild. - So thank you, Allie, for your info. And then, obviously, I had to read that as well. - Yeah, that's great. - When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific corn artist. They take matters into their own hands. I vowed I will be his last target. - He is not going to get away with this. - He's going to get ready to serve. - We always say that. Trust your girlfriends. - Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe. On the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. ♪ I'll tell you, I'll tell you ♪ - Okay, well, we'll just do a quick pivot over to this subject line, which is Children of the Corn, a Nebraska child labor story. - Okay. - Right. - Okay, L-A-H. - It's, no, he said Nebraska. - Could have been so perfect. Could have been so boring. - Hi, Karen and Georgia. While most seventh graders were gearing up for summer pool days, my friends and I were applying for summer jobs as detastlers. For people outside of Nebraska and Iowa, detastling is the process of pulling the pollen producing top off of a corn plant to prevent self-pollination. - Whoa. - Giant machines do the first pass, and then crews of teenagers walk the rows of seed corn to pull whatever was missed. - Those tiny little young hands. - Wow. - In the Midwest, this is basically a right of passage. - Wow. - Every July thousands of teenagers spend about three weeks working in the corn fields. But I love this information. A typical day looked like this. I woke up at 4.30 a.m. and put on my uniform, a hat, mosquito net, safety goggles, long sleeves, long pants, tall socks, galoshes, and gardening gloves. - Wow. - You do not want exposed skin unless you wanted corn rash. - Corn rash is the thing that I've never heard of. - Wow. - At 5 a.m., I boarded a yellow school bus with a bunch of other kids my age. And to head to whichever corn field we'd been assigned to that day. This is just like child labor in a very real way. Once we got to the field around 6 a.m., we spent the next 10 to 12 hours walking row by row pulling tassels. It took a trained eye to recognize the tassels, so we lived by the cardinal rule. When in doubt, pull it out. Rainer shine, we were out there. The fields were often wet and muddy, which added to an extra challenge. Sometimes the corn fields were so tall that at 5 foot 2, I had to jump for each and every tassel I pulled. - That's a good workout. - For 10 to 12 hours? - No, fuck you. - No. - But, Superbia is not that bad. Now that I think about it. - But we got paid by the acre. - By the acre, it's so big. - So the goal was to be as efficient as possible. No excuses, eyes on the price. - Yep, this is farm life, for sure. Of course, since we were teenagers with minimal supervision, there was also plenty of tomfoolery. The most memorable was corn bowling, where someone would sneak into your row and shove you over just to see how many corn stalks your body could take out on the way down. (laughs) I thought he loved corn bowling so much. - Corn bowling, oh. - It's the best. Despite the bugs mud and intense heat, I actually loved it. all my friends are there. And since we didn't have smart phones yet, we were forced to interact and invent ways to entertain ourselves. That's right. Yeah. The amount of teens that fell in love in the corn stalks, pulling out tassels, detastling, fell in love or did it. Don't fall in love, you're too young. No, no, sorry. Let's keep it on the crush level. You don't want to be like, no, we're at least staying back in your hometown for your corn crush. No. What if your crush is corn, then what do you do? Anywho, all caps. I love the show and I listen while getting ready for work every morning. I'm now a middle school teacher. And MFM has inspired me to sneak little safety lessons into my classroom. We talk about appropriate boundaries between kids and adults. I mean, the idea that it took this. The difference between secrets and surprises and all kinds of other random things. Hopefully, I'm planting seeds that help kids trust their instincts when something feels off. Fuck yes. Stay sexy and make your teen work a grueling summer job to build character and teach them the value of the dollar. Oh my gosh. And here's Cassidy when Cassidy was 14 years old. That outfit. Getting ready. Those galoshes. Yeah. You're going to get sunburned or ticks. You've got to look out for everything. Yes. That's amazing. I know. It's so good. I really want to know the dangers that why the sleeve said to be so long. Because if you've walked in corn, actually, I haven't. It's not that intense. Scratchy or anything. I mean, I'm not the one to say, especially to a person that lives in Nebraska or Iowa. That's a great outfit. I want to be that for Halloween. Are you for Halloween? D-tastler. Well, I'm a D-tastler. Cassidy to the teen. D-tastler. Oh, sorry. It says this is a picture of me excitedly showing off my D-tastling outfit at age 14. The photo was taken on a razor-flip phone and immediately posted to Facebook. Yes. Great one. Nice. When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific corn artist. He is not going to get away with this. He's going to get ready to serve. We always say that. Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe. On the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I survived nine months in captivity and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the survivor files. Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and merely silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the survivor files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay. This is St. Patty's Day. I'm the St. Patty's Day Story. Hi, all. It's been a minute since we've heard any things in Wall Stories, so it's time I shared mine. Five years ago I bought my very first house, a small old farmhouse that needed a lot of work. Renovation started and one winter night I was talking to my mom on the phone. I noticed something gray sticking out of the brick fireplace on the wall. I assumed it was drywall paper or something since we just barely removed the old wood paneling in that area. A few moments later I noticed this gray thing had actually moved. I paused the conversation so I could focus, squinted real hard and said, "Mom, I gotta go. There's a snake in the fireplace." Luckily it was just a harmless baby garter snake. One fishing pole, a shoelace, a cardboard box, and an hour later the snake had been relocated to the backyard. Sorry. Let me just think about it for a second. You can't just spray it with fucking ants, spray. No. We found black widows in our backyard recently and it's just like empty to a whole bottle of, but you can't do that with a snake in your house. No, first of all, then the snake's angry at you. And also this is a baby garter snake. I think I would feel comfortable picking up a, I call someone and just throw in it. Or like, because they are good for outdoors, they're going to eat rodents. They're going to help you in all other ways. But I have no experience with snakes. It's like Sverbia also didn't have snakes. So like you probably met some snakes back in your life and a snake your time too. But married him. My first husband. But just don't kill things. I wouldn't, I would never kill it. I would just make someone else do it. A month later on on St. Patrick's Day chatting with my mom on the phone again, I looked at the fireplace and there was a snake poking its head out of the wall. Want to see a picture of it? Yes. Oh no. I mean, it's beautiful. That doesn't look like a harmless snake. Like the pattern, like that isn't, and the yellow is not what I would think of as like, I don't know what a fucking harmless snake looks like. But that doesn't look like it. No, and it's not gray. They said gray. It's yellow and gray. So you can imagine how concerned my mom was becoming with my new big financial investment. The snake was caught, relocated much further away this time, and the house was snake free for the rest of the year. I also don't understand how they were using a fishing pole, a shoelace, like that list of things of the shoe box. Totally. So that was kind of like maybe a hoop around the fishing pole and then you fish it. You get it. You tighten the shoelace. Okay. Put it in the box. Okay. I would do that. That makes sense. I wouldn't touch it. But a fishing pole, I would think I would do that. That almost sounds like a game at the fair. And then yeah, when a huge stuffed animal, I made Pito look at mad, but okay. Snake free for the last year. But the next year, on same Patrick's day, sitting in my newly renovated living room and enjoying the warm fireplace, I looked up to see a snake again. It made multiple visits and proved impossible to catch this time. They were getting smarter. It's not one guy. I'm sorry. It's a fucking nest of snakes. It seems three now. And then it said, so we started cocking every entry point I could possibly find. And eventually the snake stopped coming back for the rest of the year. But sure enough, the next year and every year since a snake has found its way into my house on St. Patrick's Day. That's crazy. Then it says they might make a visit on other days of the year too. But like clockwork, there's a snake coming out of some wall in my house on St. Patrick's Day. And then it says Karen as a good Irish Catholic woman understands the irony of the situation. St. Patrick is the st, he's a saint because he drove the snakes out of Ireland. Holy shit. So that's, it makes me go, but prove it every year. I believe it. So the ghost of St. Patrick is caught in her chimney. No, she just has a house with a fucking thing. She just has snake nest. She just has 50,000 snakes under her house. And she's paying more attention that day because it's happened once or twice. And so it happens every fucking day. They're doing it constantly. It says, I keep plugging every entry point I find, but a few years back while in the crawl space doing some plumbing work piles of snake skins were discovered, leading us to believe there is in fact a den beneath the house, the Nick Terry den of snake episode go to YouTube and find it immediately. It's fucking hilarious. So every spring when the baby start hatching, they make their way out and into the walls of my house, yay for country living. I believe I don't have to live like that just because you're in the country. I believe I found all of the entry points for now, but we'll see if St. Patrick will do me dirty again this year. Stay sexy and pray to St. Patrick, Jesse. And then it says in case she want to see, just want to see the video. Yes. Okay, here we go. I mean, I burned my fucking house down. We've had multiples like you three. Do you have any butter? Have you seen Patrick? You're not wearing green and it comes in fights. He's cute. He's kind of cute. Also, let's let's that's not caulking holes. We need the entire bridge. Yeah, that was a entire brick. Brick it and then a piece of metal. Okay, wow, that was amazing. Also who put that music on it? One of the girls said you guys. The listener sent it in with music and we weren't sure if it was cleared. So I think Clark picked that for dramatic effect. Love it. It's it's like the bumping a bank music, sneaky little snake. Okay. The subject line of this email is a dog story and then in parentheses, it says happy ending. Just to everybody because these days, we need to know that truly. It just starts. I've been thinking about writing in with this story for literally years. So I won't keep you waiting a moment longer. Thank you. Almost 20 years ago and then in parentheses, it says Jesus Christ, that math makes me want to cry. That happened me and Nick Schwartz and went to lunch the other day and then we we were like we have to figure out how many years it's been since we've seen each other and it was literally like 16 or something. That's impossible. Insane. Okay. My husband and I were living in Texas about 40 minutes northeast of Austin when our next door neighbor's dog, a beagle healer mixed named junior, started escaping his yard and showing up on our front porch. We would take the dog back to his house, work with the neighbors to fix the fence, etc. But it just kept happening and the owners did not seem to give a shit. We finally just stopped bringing him back and again, they did not give a shit. Nice. Unfortunately, it was quickly apparent that our dogs wanted nothing to do with this poor boy who was not properly socialized. So I started working on finding him a new happy home. I was thrilled when a colleague and his wife said that they would take junior and that they understood the commitment they would need to make to work with his adorably destructive behaviors. Big win. Fast forward about five years. And we had moved to upstate New York when my old coworker called me out of the blue. Well, he said, I wanted to tell you what happened with junior. My heart started to sink. He confirmed that the pup was no longer living with him and his wife and wanted to tell me the story that I was certain I didn't want to hear. There was a fan. Happy ending. There was a family living in their neighborhood that they spent a lot of time with frequently heading to the other families cabin in the hill country for weekends of fishing grilling and hanging out. On one such weekend, they brought junior along for the trip. He zeroed in on the other families five-year-old son who was autistic and nonverbal. We'll call him Tim. Tim would run around the yard. Junior was constantly nipping at him and grabbing his added shorts, pulling him around. When the families were enjoying a bonfire and s'mores, the dog repeatedly knocked him down, sometimes holding him in one place by lying on his legs. Late in the night, junior stood at the front door, barking frantically until the entire house was awake. My heart continued to sink. I could just picture this crazy pup running riot over what was supposed to be a fun family weekend in the country and the stress that it must have caused everyone. But as he wrapped up the story about this faithful weekend away, where junior harassed the crap out of his poor family and their little boy, he closed with, so they asked if they could have junior and we said yes. Plot twist. The family recognized that junior's pulling on Tim's shorts was his way of trying to keep the boy away from the street. And knocking Tim down and lying on his legs was keeping him from getting too close to the fire. The incessant barking in the middle of the night, there was a rattlesnake behind the couch. So junior, the dog who had been fed by his previous owners just throwing handfuls of dry food into the backyard who was never allowed in the house or provided with love and affection was now going to school to become a support dog. Did we get you? I think so. Yes! Can we zoom in on Georgia's 8-tier dogs please because it's actually finally happening. He only took 501 of these fucking episodes to get you and we got you. When Tim started elementary school the next year, junior went with him. I literally couldn't believe my ears. It was all so beautiful and so unexpected. Even now close to 20 years later, I still see saving this dog from that gross backyard and being a link in the chain that brought him to Tim was one of the best things I've ever had the privilege to be a part of. Stay sexy and endeavour? Oh no, it got me too. Stay sexy and endeavour to deserve dogs. Rebecca. Oh my god. Perfection, Rebecca. That's even better than be the person your dog thinks you are. Yeah. So good. That was so beautiful. That's like a dog that's found his calling. Yeah. A real purpose. Oh my god. Oh, like here's another one. A dog having a purpose. Yes. Welcome aboard season 6 of The Girlfriends. Flight or fight, which takes place 30,000 feet in the sky. There's great food, comfortable chairs and attentive stewardesses. The stewardesses was so beautiful. But in reality, the stewardess job is far less glamorous than it appears. In this era, the airlines told these stewardesses they have to be single. They had no good excuse for why they wouldn't let women be married. They have to be skinny. We were starving ourselves. And they have to be young. You would retire at age 32. But one day, a group of stewardesses said, this has got to stop. They risked it all, turning a fight for fairness into a revolution. Flight or fight on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey there, everybody. Amy Robock and TJ Holmes here from the Amy and TJ podcast. We are your one stop shop for the biggest newsmaking headlines of the day. We've got you covered. Yeah, there's a lot of news happening these days and some of it's breaking. We are on top of it every single day. There's a bunch of true crime going on out there as well and so much of it dominating on social media. We have our eye on it all. Listen to the Amy and TJ podcast on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hi all, love the show. I moved to LA two and a half years ago and loved listening to your LA pre-show talk to hype me up for the move. I'd digress back to the point of this email speaking of LA things. I've seen many celebrities and influencers in my short time as an angel, you know, but one sticks out to me as an all-time favorite interaction because it happened twice. I lived near a very popular hiking spot for two years, has to be running canyon. Probably, right? And I would walk my dog on the same two routes routes every morning in that area routes. I think route. I think routes. Mostly on eventful, except for one people morning when my dog ran straight up to this very attractive fine, wine-aged man with a thick beard and slightly peppered, slightly wavy hair and beautiful blue eyes getting out of the passenger side of a car. The dog ran up. I was stunned because I had truly just rolled out of bed straight out of a rom-com. I swear, he politely laughed and petted her. I apologized. We smiled at each other and I continued my walk when it hit me. I know those beautiful blue eyes. Then I thought, surely not. I had to throw away my dog's waist bag up the sidewalk a bit, which meant I had to double back to go back to my building when we passed each other again. We made eye contact for a second time when I saw a different look in his eyes. This time a little more anxious. Do you recognize me? Are you going to say anything? Freak out. What's about to happen? I again politely smiled because I knew that he knew that I knew who he was that he was clearly trying to enjoy his morning. So I just smiled and kept on all caps. It was Gerard Butler. Who listen? I did not have to Google. I'm not going to lie. Well, but you know who he is. Yes, as soon as I saw him. That name does not suit him. No, he's a Jerry Butler, but he's Gerard always throws. Gerard is a sexy name. You don't think so? Yeah, but it doesn't. He's although a very sexy man. He's also like. Hey guys, like he's Scottish. I guess it doesn't fit that character, but good. He's gorgeous. He's from 300. What else? Well, every movie I watched in COVID green land, fucking my wife is trapped somewhere and I'm going to punch my way to her. Like that's every movie. Okay. Fairly recognizable under the beard and long hair, but it was most definitely 2000s romcom and 2010s period war drama heartthrob Gerard Butler. I was starstruck, but somehow still functional. So much so that I never expected to run into him again on our same route a couple weeks later. Uh-oh. This time both he and the man he was with appeared to remember my dog's sweet face and looked happy to see her again. Then it says, good girl. They both said, good morning and the Irish accent prove my suspicions correct. So he's Irish. He's not. He's Scottish. Okay. Although I told the story to friends on my block and said he introduces himself as Jerry smiley face. Thank you. That's amazing. Either way, I'm glad my interactions with him were positive. Stay sexy and get a dog who introduces you to your celebrity crash. Staff she her. Gerard, if you we want to hear the story from your point of view about this girl stocking you on Ryan and Canyon. You've got to have your say despite your fake beard. I mean, because that's the kind of thing that like for somebody like that, he sees somebody once, then they see her and then it's just like, do I call security now? Do I have to wait for a third time? But if you're an actor and you're going to Ryan and Canyon, it's because kind of cause you want to be seen. You're asking for it. You want it, Jerry? Jerry, let us know. We don't know. Jerry, you have to have a say. Um, Jacob, uh, Tyranny and I, the all through COVID, that's what we would do is if a new Gerard Butler movie came out, then we'd be like, well, we got it. It's like we get and we would act like we had to see it on the day at premiere. So like, I've seen every questionable choice that man has made for like the last, I guess, six years or so. Do you want to want to hear Karen's opinion about it, Jerry? She'll give you some feedback about your career. Jerry, I, I went to acting for a acting school for a year and a half. That's right. I've done this level one of improv twice. We have feedback from what you want. Here's the thing. I get a feeling about Gerard Butler that's very similar to Russell Crowe, which is you want to go to a bar in the daytime with these people. Right. These are, especially when they're not, when they're Irish or a Scottish or anything English, whatever. Galic, Australian, sure. Get in there. Totally. Because there is a certain, they're just not the typical Hollywood after type. Totally. They're kind of like, Hey, look, I'm way more good looking than most of people on my island. So I get to be here. Look at that. But other than that, this is crazy. That's the vibe I got. Are we done? Is that it? Do you have one more? Here's my last one. This subject line is stories about your landline. Greetings pals and gals. Greetings gals and pals. Same to, you asked for stories about our landline phones. And then in quotes, it says, you know the one that that used to hang in your kitchen before smart phones I guess that's what we said. I grew up in a house of Yellars. Our house wasn't particularly large, but with a basement and three bedrooms, my parents often found reasons to scream across the house. To each other, to us kids, to our cat, you name it. One day my dad, and then a parenthesis, it says Kurt. Kurt? Kurt came home with a marvelous new contraption, a set of rechargeable cordless phones for all the major rooms of our house. Kids rooms were sadly not included in that list. The most exciting feature he proclaimed was an intercom function that turned each phone into a not quite walkie-talkie. Smart. Do you remember those? Yeah, cordless phones? Yeah. They were like gray and bulky. Yeah. And you have to pull the cord up. That's right, yeah. If you hit the button for the intercom and then dialed the single digit number of whichever other phone in the house you were trying to reach, the other phone would bleed out a special ringtone that indicated someone was trying to page you. Is that more annoying to be paged than to be yelled at and go, what? Yes. Getting pages annoying too, probably. I think it's all a little bit. But it's like, if they just yell at first of all, it's what you're used to. Yeah. And then it's also just like, then you just know what's going on. I don't know. I think Vincent and I, the most annoyed we've ever been with each other or ever are with each other is when one of us is trying to yell something to the other one and they can't hear it. And then someone's coming closer. Yeah, that's like, or like they're brushing, I can't hear you right now. Yes. And you're going to be mad at me because I can't hear you. But you're the one yelling at, in our aunt and uncle's house, our cousins were raised, which my sister and I, the first time we stayed there were both like, well, that's intense. But they weren't allowed to say what? They'd have to say coming. Wow. If someone was like, did the parents have to fucking do that, too? No way. Fuck that shit. Well, that's because the kids were downstairs and the parents were upstairs, like that. And older and paying for everything. OK, sure. Anyway. OK. So that way we didn't have to yell across the house to each other anymore. My dad explained excitedly, dear reader, it did not work. My mom Sue, who has always been a hyper-efficient type A person, frequently had too much in her hands or in front of her to bother grabbing the phone. My brothers and I were twins and teens, and far too lazy to get up to answer the phone. And my poor father was reduced to having to scream across the house to get the person he was trying to talk to to answer the intercom. That's right. The screaming was never going to end. After a few months, the intercom function saw no more action, except for when my brothers or I would prank each other with it or show it off to our cousins. My parents still have a landline to this day, but have shrunk the number of phones in the house to just two. It's a good thing, though, because some of my bank or credit card accounts that I opened in high school and or college are still linked to that phone number. I'll only know which ones, when my parents finally disconnected and I'm unable to log in. I'm sure there's no other way to know, dot, dot, dot. Anyway, thanks for all you do at exactly right. You're lovely people who light up my life with your content. Keep up the good work. And it's just signed A, they, them. Thanks, A. Thanks, A. Wow. Plus, we're fun. I know. Yeah, write us your stories at my favorite murder at Gmail. We want to hear all of them. Any kind of slice of life that you want to report, whether it's a complaint about your childhood, or just fun times, or this is what made my family different than the rest of the families in the neighborhood. This is the thing we always fought about. The one thing we always fought about. Yes, yeah. Yelling, yelling in phones is so relevant for 80s people. Totally. So fun. Yeah. All right, well, thanks for writing those in. Everybody did a great job and stay sexy. Coming. And don't get murdered. I had to. Nice one. Come on. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie? [MUSIC PLAYING] This has been an exactly right production. Our managing producer is Molly Smith. Our consulting producer is Kate Schellmbach. Our creative lead is Alice in the Gosty. Our associate producer is Tessa Hughes, and our editor is Aristotle Acevedo. This episode was mixed by Leonis Koalachi. Email your hometowns to my favorite murder at gmail.com and follow the show on Instagram at my favorite murder. Listen to my favorite murder on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Or watch new episodes every week on Netflix. Search for my favorite murder, add us to your list, and hit the double thumbs up button. Goodbye. Welcome aboard season six of The Girlfriends. Until one day, a group of stewardesses spark a revolution that reshapes America. Listen to The Girlfriends, Flight or Fight on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Dancing with the Stars is looking for a new pro. And since last season, I came in eighth place. I'm basically an expert. I'm Daniel Fischel. And I'm Vouch Merkowski. And we have a new podcast called Stepping on Toes with Danielle and Val. Every week, we're breaking down Dancing with the Stars the next pro. To find out who I'll be sharing the boring with next season. Listen to Stepping on Toes on America's number one podcast network, I Heart. Follow Stepping on Toes and start listening on the free I Heart Radio app today. - Why do some women yearn for Shakira's black hair to make a comeback? You may remember me from my podcast, Anything for Selena, or my Divo. Listen to "Muy Excited" with Maria Garcia on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.