MFM Minisode 499

This is exactly right. Welcome aboard season six of the Girlfriends. Flight or fight, which takes place 30,000 feet in the sky. A beautiful woman smiles and hands you a scotch. But you have no idea just how messed up her job actually is. It was the most sexist job I think you could have. Until one day, a group of stewardesses spark a revolution that reshapes America. Listen to the Girlfriends, flight or fight on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to my favorite murder, the mini-sode. We read you your stories and what and have summertime fun. Yay, you go first. That really got serious for a second. Okay, this is a good way to kick this off. Yeah. The subject line of this email is the where pick. I grew up on a farm. We just get right into it. There's not even a hello. I grew up on a farm in rural North Georgia. Think big pastures broken up by dense forests of pine trees. Well, during the summer and after school most days, my eight cousins and I would be kept by my sweet grandmother. Who instead of having eight elementary school children in her house from 230 to 8 p.m. would kick us out to play outside. Now, this was in the early 2000s. So she could have just plopped us in front of the TV with some SpongeBob and a popsicle and called it a day. But we're glad she didn't let us rot our brains. Yeah, she didn't want in the house. Instead, we would go play outside in the woods and the cow pastures until the sun went down. And boy, do I have stories about being chased by bulls physically attacked by a black swan and falling into literal quicksand of cow shit. Because she couldn't keep a close eye on us. She called in the help of the where pig. The where pig was a wearable flight pig that lived in the woods and would watch us to make sure that we were being good. And if we were bad, we'd eat us just like he did the neighbor kid. A threat with an imaginary like beast. Crypto. Yeah. Cryptoid. That's killed before. That's killed children before. And then it says, this might sound bad. But what's worse is all of our parents, my five uncles and my dad adopted the where pig to do their bidding. Oh my god. When we were on our early teens, one of my uncles actually dressed up like the where pig and scared the shit out of us while we were playing flashlight tag in the woods. Oh, but I would pay a lot for that video. The screaming, the sharp. The screaming and then the crying and then the, oh, come on. It was after things, after Thanksgiving. Needless to say, we were all traumatized by the where pig and kept a close eye on the woods. Years later, we were all joking at a family dinner and found out that our grandmother and our parents had a family meeting to discuss what to do about our behavior when we were kids. Thus the where pig was born. That's how bad they were. It's like a cult. Kind of. Here's the agreed lie. Tell the children. I think the movie hereditary is based on that. It's a real by any means necessary way of raising children. It sounds like it works. I think so. And says, stay sexy and watch out for the where pig, Matty. And also it's a pig that's watching you. Yeah, that's pretty creep and kills children. Most importantly, eat some right up. Kill children. Yeah. Did you like your bacon? Yes, right morning at breakfast. Well, now I'm here to you. Revenge. Welcome aboard season six of the girlfriends flight or fight, which takes place 30,000 feet in the sky. There's great food, comfortable chairs and attentive stewardesses. The stewardesses were so beautiful. But in reality, the stewardess job is far less glamorous than it appears. In this era, the airlines told these stewardesses they have to be single. They had no good excuse for why they wouldn't let women be married. They have to be skinny. We were starving ourselves. And they have to be young. You would retire at age 32. But one day, a group of stewardesses said, "This has got to stop." They risked it all, turning a fight for fairness into a revolution. Listen to the girlfriends flight or fight on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, years later, my confession. It's called. It's very funny. And then I have to do this. Wesah, dudes, and dudes. First off, thank you both for everything you do. You've been my comfort podcast since the summer of 2016 when I was 15. Wow. Now for my confession. In 2018, when I was 17, my grandmother passed away due to the long-term effects of smoking. That detail becomes important later. Our entire family gathered at her retirement community to celebrate her life. There were so many friends there, which honestly surprised me because, let's just say, Grandma wasn't exactly known for her warm and fuzzy personality. Not with kids at least. After the celebration, the immediate family went back to her apartment to pack up her belongings. When my mom was cleaning, she suddenly held something up off the floor. What's this? My vape. That shouldn't say it, but it's her vape. The same vape I'd gotten caught with about a month earlier. Apparently, I dropped it during one of my visits. Immediately, my brain went into survival mode. Without missing a beat, I gasped. Grandma vaped. The room erupted. No way. Seriously, I had no idea. Well, everyone was busy processing the shocking revelation. I realized I had one chance to save myself. If Grandma owned a vape, she'd probably have a charger, too. I casually walked up into my backpack, pulled out my vape charger, slipped it into my pocket, waited for everyone to get distracted again, and quietly tucked it into her nightstand drawer. Evil. Like doubling down on evil. Just being like, well, I have to, I really have to send this home. Yeah. Someone's going to say, like, as if anyone who doesn't have a vape knows that you have to charge it. It's your grandmother. Oh, yeah. She smoked. She likes sweet apple. No, no. She smoked cigarette, and she wasn't particularly warm and fuzzy. Yeah, that's true. But vaping is like a step beyond. She's not a fucking kid on the corner with a very small BMX bike. No. I walked into her nightstand drawer, mission accomplished. A few hours later, my dad opened the drawer. Guys, I found the charger. Shit. Footline sinker. She's 17. Okay. Which is like what you're supposed to do when you're 17. No, that's fine. My mom spent the rest of the weekend telling everyone that apparently Grandma had secretly switched from cigarettes to vaping. A gossip. Meanwhile, I stood there nodding along like I was hearing this groundbreaking information for the first time. What? A little shit. That's a little shit. Can you believe it? But I love it. Unfortunately, my parents threw both the vape and charger into the apartment dumpster, which meant I had to recover the evidence. This could have ended here. Yes. That night, I put on my best gloves, fashioned a trash bag into what can only be described as a dumpster diving poncho, and climbed into the dumpster to rescue my vape. I still have it. It's been sitting in my nightstand for the past seven years as a trophy commemorating the greatest cover-up of my teenage years. So it went down like people just believed that and that's that's. I'm 25 now and as far as I know, no one has ever figured it out. Hi. That's insane. But I mean, then it's almost gross. It's like plate. I think she has to play this for them. Yeah. Oh, it's teeth. Sorry. He has to play this for them. I mean, but so good. It's so good. Every now and then, when my family is all together, I'll casually say, remember when we found out Grandma vape. Everyone nods, I smile, and absolutely no one suspects a thing. I'd like to think my grandmother would have appreciated the commitment to the bit. She had a mischievous streak herself. Stay sexy and don't or do frame your dead grandmother. Zeth, he, him. I love that story. So good. I also love the idea that maybe he's suggesting that his grandma would have bought into the like. Oh, it's fine. Tell him whatever you want. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's my baby. That's my baby. No one else did it. And my charger's in the drawer. Is that you have to play this for your family? Like at Christmas. Gather everyone around. Everyone around. We'll edit out all the foxes in this and such. So you can do it at a holiday. There's great food, comfortable chairs, and attentive stewardesses. In this era, the airlines told these stewardesses, "They have to be single." They had no good excuse for why they wouldn't let women be married. Even to the girlfriends, flight or fight on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, here's my next one. The subject line is, "I dated a con artist." And it says, "Hello beautiful people." I was recently talking to a couple of friends, and a story I had repressed for a while came up, and I thought, "What better way to deal with this than to ride into a murder podcast?" When I was about 19, I'd recently come out of a serious relationship and was pretty naive in the way the world worked. And that's when I met Brad. He was a very charismatic person, well-dressed, full of great stories, hubris, and he was the king of flattery. He was also a doctor, working at a hospital nearby as a surgeon, and we'd often meet after his work with him still wearing his medical scrubs. Overall, I really liked the guy. You can get scrubs at CVS, everybody. Looking back, there were a couple of warding signs that didn't add up. Like him living in a tiny house with a roommate, he constantly complained about. Even though he was on a surgeon's salary and should easily be able to move out, or that he changed his luxury car every couple of weeks without ever worrying about parking fines. I found out a few months into the relationship why this was when I was awoken at his place one Saturday morning with very loud knocks at the door. It was a police raid. I had absolutely no idea what was happening when they took Brad away in handcuffs along with laptops, electronics, and documents. As much as I begged the police, they wouldn't tell me anything for privacy reasons. After putting on my detective hat and doing some digging, I realized he wasn't a surgeon, he wasn't even working at the hospital. The man I had been dating for months was a con man. His MO was to meet people, selling their cars online dressed as a surgeon, gives them a chance. Sorry. It's so good when there's costumes. Yeah. Sell it. You got to sell it. Yeah. Anything to make trick people into trusting him. Give them a check or false proof of payment transfer and then take their car. He would then sell or swap the latest vehicle and continue on his way. His charisma would allow him to trick others into handing him large amounts of cash that they would never see again. He was eventually let out of on bail and fled across the country where he did similar things to many others before being caught and sent to prison for a few years. I wanted to just let everyone listening know that this kind of thing can happen to anyone and then it doesn't make you stupid or worth less than anyone else. These people are good at what they do and we can just be more aware and put our stories out there in the hope that it can help others. Thank you for all you do and keeping me sane during trying times. Stay sexy and be wary of surgeons, Calum. Be wary of overly flattering people. As much as I wish Vince would tell me how great I look every time I dress up, which I have to remind him to do. If he did it, I wouldn't believe him. I'd be like, what's wrong? Why are you doing that? You're like, stop it. What did you do? Yes. Every and I think that kind of like, it's one thing to show up in scrubs because you're just like a surgeon that's working your ass off. But then it's like the cars, it's like the levels. I feel like a lot of time scammers don't know when to stop. Right. They don't keep it real. Yeah. Like surgeons, let us know, like, do you wear your scrubs like on your way home? Do you love to just meet people at a wine bar in scrubs just to see if people will love it? So that's kind of gross. Like the amount of like a biohazard issue. Old blood. Yeah. If you're a, if you're a medical student or a surgeon and you can tell us about a bloody scrub stories. Yeah. Tell us your best scrub stories. Tell us your, I told you, I know I've told you, this is like a 2016 Pat story driving to work in her whites car accident in front of her on the 101. Yeah. She goes and leans on the thing. And so she gets blood on the front because she's talking to the guy who has a glass in his forehead. And then she turns to walk back to her car with blood on her whites. And then a friend of ours from Pedaluma drives by and thinks it's my mom wondering on the side of the road. Oh my God. Oh my God. Just a total shit. So that's the story. Karen just gave you a great example. If you can't beat that, then stay home. Okay. Last episode, we had a bunch of good scammer stories and there were so many leftover that I, these are. We just love that. I just so much. They're so good. Please send in yours. Especially I am enjoying the take home part of this happen to me, don't let it happen to you. So I was the scammer. Those are great. Especially if you were like seven years old. Totally. Exactly. Okay. This is called scammer, fan girl summer. Okay. And this sounds like it would have happened to me when I was 19. So I love it. Hello, wonderful ladies and crew. I listened to the Anna Delve episode and heard you asking for more scammer stories. So I figured I'd share mine. Back in 2014, a young adult me was a huge fan of a pop rock boy band that was starting to get pretty big. And then no name. Like we had to know. It would be a shame of loving who could have been 2014. I was in a, I don't think I know a boy band in 2014. It's got to be a K-pop band. Oh, maybe. Yeah. Were there any? I don't know. I mean, just continuing to love one direction through chill 2014. It could be. Yeah. None of my friends were into them. So I often went to concerts alone and made friends there, which I love. How? I know. One girl, let's call her Abby and I quickly became close. Abby suggested we follow the band's 2015 summer tour through Vegas, San Diego and L.A. The deal was that she'd pay for the flights and I'd cover the hotels. The catch, she lived in the middle of nowhere. So I had to take a five hour bus ride to her hometown and fly out with her. No. Already sketched. Incorrect. The first half of the trip was great. The second half is when I started noticing Abby's scammer tendencies. She claims she had lost her only debit card. So I supposedly needed to cover all our food and gas expenses. That story fell apart when I caught her using the card to buy a drink. She also showed her crazy side by getting a scenely drunk at one of the concerts and started hysterically sobbing that the drummer might be dating a model. Then on the last day of the trip, she informed me that she couldn't drive me home from the tiny airport we'd fly back into. There were no buses available for two days back to my home city. So she was stuck in the small town with Abby still. So yeah, young and experienced broke from the trip and panicking. I called my dad from our Detroit laver. He booked me a separate flight home from there. The problem was that my checked luggage would continue to Abby's airport. Abby happily offered to pick up my bag and ship it to me. The vibes were terrible, but I didn't have another option when you just want to be home from a trip. But also can't the option be that you just have the airline do it for you and just like no one else has to touch it. I think not when you're a kid, you know, can't we go back and fix this luggage issue? Once we got out, it's worse. Once we got home, Abby claimed my luggage had been lost and even gave me a baggage claim number when I checked with 48297. Exactly. When I checked with the airline, the claim didn't exist. Airport security and the police got involved, which is so surprising. And sure enough, surveillance footage showed Abby taking my suitcase. She doubled down and claimed she thought it was my bag. And said it turned out not to be and brought it back. She did not. Airport security zoomed in on the footage and my name tag was clearly visible the entire time. It's the airports. Yeah. Right. You're not getting sneaking in and sneaking out and doing your own thing. No. The police told Abby that if she returned everything to the airport, no charges would be filed about a week later. I finally got my luggage back minus a bag. I bought an LA. At that point, I was willing to eat the $100 loss just to be done with her. And Abby blocked me and all my friends on social media. That's how you do it. When I started warning other fans online, my DMs filled up with stories from girls shoot scammed. Once that Abby took her for over $1,000 for concert tickets that never existed. The worst was a girl who had originally planned to go with us on the tour. She gave Abby $700 for the trip then backed out. Abby kept the money. That $700 it paid for both of our flights. Imagine my guilt when I realized I'd spent the entire trip on that poor girl's dime. Fast forward to 2022, I discovered Abby had become a fan girl of another boy band. She was now selling counterfeit merch, still going scammer strong. How? Anyway, stay sexy and don't go on trips with crazy dilulu fan girls, especially the ones who genuinely believe they're going to date the drummer anonymous. It's so embarrassing to think because when your drunk, that stuff comes out and you start crying. I was like, have you ever done that? We were so shit face and you come to and you're like, what am I crying about right now? This is really weird. And it's like because the drummer doesn't like you. The drummer doesn't like you. The drummer never met dating a model. Welcome aboard season six of The Girlfriends, flight or fight, which takes place 30,000 feet in the sky. But one day, Group of stewardesses said, "This has gotta stop." They risked it all, turning a fight for fairness into a revolution. Listen to the girlfriends, flight or fight on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. - All right, see this is kinda random, but I just really loved it. Okay, I won't reach it. The subject line, it says, "Hello." Picture it, 1987, downtown Salem, Oregon, the drive-through divorce is open, and the sweet chemical smell of salon perms is in the air. I am one year old, writing in my stroller for another day of errands with my mom and pre-teen sisters. We enter Nordstroms. Are we here to browse cool clothes at the brass plumb? - No, the brass plumb. - The brass plumb I spent so much time there. No, we turn to the children's shoes section across the aisle. Before you know it, I'm on my feet with a collection of toddlers, and a path has been cleared. A bell rings. My family is cheering me on, and I run as fast as my little chubby legs will go. What could possibly be happening right now? A baby race at the mall? - Yes, baby race. - Baby race. - Baby race. - I would fucking, I would put money down on that one. - And then it says, "One that I most definitely did not sign up for." That's right, there's no consent. - No. - As luck would have it, I won. I left those other babies in my way, and was awarded a bright white pair of Wee box. - Oh. - And then it says, "You read that correctly." That concludes my one and only athletic achievement to date. In subsequent years, I found my true calling, coloring contests. I didn't have an allowance, so I entered them all. Winning cookies, gift certificates, one hamster. - Wow. - And my first real bike. Stay sexy and collect prizes. - Yeah. - Leslie, I know I love it. PS, one day I will find an email, my second grade essay response to, "What's your favorite movie?" Mine was the fugitive. I watched it with my parents. I was eight, but Karen's, right? It is a perfect movie. - Okay, I'll watch it. - Please send us your contest winning stories. - As a child? - As a child, was your mom obsessed with sending in? You know, I love those people who just win contests, 'cause that's all they fucking do with her free time. - Yeah. - Enter contests. - Or like, did you win your school with regional spelling - or your like, mall modeling contest? - Did you? - Anything. - We wanna know. - I love those. I wanna hear them. Okay, one more. - Okay. This is basically a trash child story. - Okay. - I was a child extortionist. - Hey, team, so I was about eight years old. My aunt was having a house party and none of the attendees, including my mother, bothered to get a babysitter. - Oh. - Of course not. There's so many adults there. I pay for if I can another adult to be there. - Sorry, the '80s, '90s, the '90s. So in classic '90s fashion, they sent me and three other children, including my little cousin to the playroom, declaring that I was the oldest and therefore in charge. She's eight. - Yeah. - I was the high queen of benevolent ruler and they were all welcome for being in my cool, big kid presence. I led multiple expeditions to spy on the adults before we were chased back into the playroom. And finally, we were told that if we didn't stay upstairs, we'd have to go to bed early. That was their ultimate mistake. They let us stay awake. - Also, what were they doing down there? - Fuckin' having adult time. - Shit, man, whatever it is, smoking indoors. - Yes. - Bitchin'. - Yeah. There were two bathrooms. One that was only accessible by walking through my aunt and uncle's bedroom and one at the top of the stairs. My six-year-old cousin and I worked out that only family would use the downstairs bathroom and therefore they were unlikely to see what we were doing in front of the other. We locked arms and formed a child blockade at the top of the stairs, then waited until all the drunk adults at the party started stumbling up the stairs to try to use the bathroom. They were basically in that with the tiniest mob bosses, this site of upstate New York. At first, we accepted quarters for bathroom entry but then one of the adults negotiated four bathroom trips for a whole dollar. So I'm drunk fucking dude, it's like, listen, I don't want it to keep giving you guys quarters. - I'm by myself the night. - Yeah. - We got around but not to our parents in a very sweaty 20-something climb the stairs slowly, holding out of $20 for full access all night. We were in business. - Yeah. - The party went late and the other two kids went home with their parents. So it was just my little cousin and I, half asleep at the top of the stairs when our parents found out how we had been spending the evening. My aunt had her friend who had worked out the four-trip deal with us, the man that we give his dollar back. Fuck that shit. - No. - Parents were. We did, but I guess no one else snitched because we walked away with $20. $45 that night. - Jesus. We had told some of the folks we scanned that we were donating the money to an animal shelter. And after a couple of days of secret candy, we felt guilty enough that we put the rest of that $25 in the jar at our downtown ASPCA. - Oh. - Love everything you do, stay sexy and don't just leave your kids to be supervised by an eight-year-old at a house party or do and watch them become the mob, Kate, with a sea. - The amount of times we got locked into another room and then started to play a game that was like, basically like climb the shelves or whatever like a dangerous insane game that when the adults would be, "Hey, what the hell's going on?" - Well, you left them alone. Like that's the other, like, this isn't on the kids. - Yes. - We had, at the Antoni of Ani's, there was one time where we, they ran along the tops of the couches. There's amazing, huge leather sectional. And it was like, all the kids running like, "You have to go faster, you're gonna fall." - Oh, my God. - It was the most fun. - That is, of course. - Of course. - Fracked skull right there. - This, like, coffee tables everywhere and shit, you can fall down on it just like, and we're all running as fast as we can. - What do you think you can win today? - Yeah, yeah. You could win. - You have to really keep your knees up. - Yeah. - Because the cushion part is different than the, like, arm-chair parts. - Keep going, and just keep going. - And just keep-- - And look up. - Don't look down. - Keep up and just stay positive. - Yeah. (laughs) - And that's what you want you to do. - Fan call. - Tell us the insane games you played as a kid and keep your knees up and stay positive. - And stay sexy. - And don't get murdered. - Goodbye. - Goodbye. - Elvis, do you want a cookie? - Ah! (upbeat music) - This has been an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer is Tessa Hughes. Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo. - This episode was mixed by Leonis Koalachi. - Our researchers are Mary Maglachin and Ali Elkin. - Email your hometowns to my favorite murder at gmail.com. - And follow the show on Instagram at my favorite murder. - Listen to my favorite murder on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. - And now you can watch my favorite murder on Netflix. - And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and the remind me buttons. That's the best way you can support our show. - Goodbye. - Welcome aboard season six of The Girlfriends. - It was the most sexist job I think you could have. Listen to The Girlfriends, Flight or Fight, on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.