MFM Minisode 495

this is exactly right there are plenty of things that keep you up at night your sleep tracker shouldn't be one of them hatch sleep clock does it differently it tracks your sleep from your nightstand no ring wristband or judgmental score waiting for you in the morning instead you'll get personalized insights to understand your sleep and recommendations to build a routine you'll love night after night hatch sleep clock the sleep tracker designed to get you to sleep available now on hatch.co goodbye between work school family obligations and the endless halloween hustle it often feels like there's never a good time to slow down no matter how busy life gets even a small break can help us recharge reset and enjoy the moment breaks don't have to be the 15 minutes in your car while you wait for your kid to get out of school or the two minutes while your little pumpkin is tying his shoes kit kat gives people permission to take the break they've earned and make it a better break while the world tells us to keep going kit kat reminds us that the best time for a break is now break now have a kit kat goodbye the hulu original series phony is now streaming on hulu and hulu on disney plus sunny's life is pretty great until he wakes up from a car accident to a world that looks exactly like his with one exception his mom starring five-time emmy nominee connie britain and sam nivola this small town is hiding the mother of all mysteries just beneath the surface watch the hulu original series phony now streaming on hulu and hulu on disney plus for bundle subscribers terms apply goodbye a favorite m word magnesium like the kind that's in dr teal's magnesium spray made from a proprietary blend of topical minerals it's designed to relax and prepare you for a night of rest if you need a reset after your day make dr teal's magnesium spray part of your nighttime routine generously spritz each foot before bed and you'll be all set i've actually started doing this and i'm obsessed with magnesium it does everything something like this is just like it's simple it's easy and it actually works totally for wellness you can feel find dr teal's magnesium spray online or at the in your local bath aisle goodbye hello and welcome to my favorite murder the minisode that's right we tell you things you didn't even know that's right are you ready you're about to learn go ahead uh the subject line of this email is the great goat gland grift it says hello my favorite emotional support podcasters that's a good one love y'all love the podcast day 13 listener here so roughly around the time i started writing this hometown i'll get right to it that's funny day 13 i love that lucky they know uh okay it says i now live in los angeles but i hail from a small border town of del rio texas when i was nine we moved to a new neighborhood and i remember driving past the rundown old mansion at the end of our street for the first time its imposing iron gates bore the name dr brinkley from the back seat i asked who's dr brinkley to which my dad casually replied oh that was the goat testicle doctor as you can imagine that nickname comes with an equally insane backstory that honestly feels like it could have happened today in 1917 a young doctor named john romulus brinkley moved to a tiny town in kansas with his wife minnie one day a farmer visited brinkley complaining of being a flat tire aka erectile dysfunction they joked about how goats never seemed to have that problem and the farmer said too bad you don't have billy goat nuts what started as a joke turned serious when the farmer insisted brinkley implant goat testicles into his scrotum to fix the issue no no no no you can't make up a fucking medical procedure but in 1917 you could yeah i guess so that's the quote gland cure was born uh brinkley began promoting the procedure as a cure-all claiming could fix everything from impotence to cancer even offering a version for women to be clear this surgery was a complete hoax and brinkley knew it but his charisma and flair complete with a goatee round glasses and a three-piece suit helped sell the scam okay it's like the kfc of testicles they're like there's something familiar about that guy and i trust him colonel with my testicles it was also around this time that commercial radio was taking off and brinkley saw and seized its potential he launched his own station using it to promote his hospital quack remedies and elixirs wow so his own means of production brinkley was a natural using his calm and conversational voice just like us he was a natural using his calm and conversational voice he convinced and captivated audiences turning himself into a nationwide sensation not everyone was buying it though enter dr morris fishbein of the newly established american medical association morris you're such a buzzkill morris get in here because he also has a curly mustache and round glasses anorectal dysfunction that's not something to laugh at it's okay they're not paying attention for years he worked tirelessly to expose brinkley as a fraud and eventually succeeded taking him to the hospital he was then taken to the hospital and he was taken to the hospital to court the trial revealed brinkley had a questionable medical degree and was linked to 42 death certificates of patients who died at his clinic oh my god with countless more likely succumbing to his dangerous advice this is incredible yeah wow brinkley had become one of the most successful killers in american history operating openly in full public view even crazier he couldn't be criminally prosecuted due to the laws at the time oh my god i want a whole episode about this i mean me dibs yeah no you can have it it's first thanks so much i'm touching the paper so it's mine kansas revoked his medical license and federal authorities shut down his radio station but brinkley wasn't finished he ran for governor wow of course he did because he's a man and he has the audacity get that shit out there and kill more people it's your right please spread the word using his celebrity massive cult-like following and radio platform to cast himself as a victim of the elites sound familiar he lost but only because the state rejected thousands of votes that misspelled his name lost on a technicality by 1931 brinkley relocated to del rio where he built one of the most powerful radio stations in the world just across the rio grande in mexico outside u.s regulations his pseudoscience reached millions spanning as far as asia and then in parentheses it says our old neighbor claimed that his station was so strong it made their bed springs hum and car headlights flicker this is amazing it's fucking unbelievable oh my god there's a picture okay keep going i want to go as brinkley's fame grew so did his ego he was rubbing elbows at hollywood premier slapping his name on his mansion a custom cadillac and a private airplane after visiting 1930s germany he embraced of course not see he embraced pro-fascist views even considered running for president again sound familiar oh my god eventually lawsuits and investigations caught up with him a libel suit against fishbine backfired exposing his fraudulent empire yes that's in discovery if you try to sue somebody they can fucking depose you it all comes out within two years he was bankrupt and a year later he died of a heart attack at the age 56 today his mansion still stands restored by a series of subsequent owners and marked as a texas historical site a bizarre monument to a con man who built an empire on charisma deception and well goat testicles i just want to thank you too for being my constant companions for all these years and for always making my mondays thursdays and now wednesdays a little brighter not until every day of the week is jigging up so proud of everything that you've accomplished and all the lives you've touched thank you a big shout out to my friend annie who introduced me to the show and to my road trip buddies brian and cody who are always along for the stories hope to see you soon alberto alberto with an exclamation point alberto he and then he included a newspaper article highlighting billy the first goat gland baby okay what so basically because oh yeah it can't be real though the erectile stopped dysfunctioning and here comes the oh my god billy the goat gland baby dr john r brinkley and billy billy the goat billy go and billy goat i didn't even think of it that and that baby is chris farley's father wow that there are so many i just there's so many things i want to hear people's like crazy person from their town that everyone knows about like his like the person who has like a legend yes there was an incredible um the old victorian that was on a hill on the highway on the road it like on the highway into petaluma and it was white and faded and it absolutely looked like it was from a horror movie yeah and it just sat there like falling apart i'd always be like who lives in petaluma and i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so who lives there and no one knew i think at one point a teacher at our school was like it's like the egg magnate of petaluma or whatever but it looked like a witch lived there it's so it was amazing okay my first one's called inca talking heads lima peru hometown oh hello and welcome to my favorite story smiley winky face i live in a great little town just north of petaluma called get this wrong. It's not Stub-a-pole. Sebastopol. Sebastopol. I'm sure Karen knows it well. Very well. Yay. It says, yay, I saved all my fangirling for you two until the end, so let's dive in because this period is period good. My husband is an American now, previously British, and even earlier than that, Peruvian. And it says, yes, his accent is to die for. Yeah, I bet. He was born in Lima and lived there for his first 15 years. When he was really young, there were many Incan burial grounds just outside town. I'm sure they are all protected now, but sadly, grave robbers had mostly already pillaged all of them over time. Anyway, it was the early 70s, ladies, so however inappropriate this was, folks treated checking out the graves as a day outing of sorts. Yeah, and go look at the ruins, kind of. Yeah. There was some stuff left behind by the robbers, like tiny bits of pottery, rope, and even some bones, like femurs, that my mother would take home and sword fight with. Sword fight. That's not sword yoga. I just remembered. But also, that's bad. You don't want that. That's, no. On your hands or home. Well, here it goes. Well, his grandmother, Brenda, that is not a grandmother's name, and that's not, I, Brenda. Brenda. Grandma Brenda. Grandma Brenda. Had done the same thing many years earlier than that, when the graves were, quote, less pillaged. Back then, she came across two relatively intact Incan skulls she decided to take home with her. She felt it surely seemed better than them being strewn across the desert as she had found them. She placed them at each end of the piano in her house and went along with the day. My husband's whole family plays piano a lot, so for months the skulls were always in good company, or so they thought. Oh. Until one day, his grandmother's gardener and cook, both Incan descendants, asked to talk to her. They sat her down and told her that the skulls had to go. She was mortified and realized she had probably desecrated their culture and said she would rebury them immediately. But no, it wasn't that at all. They didn't care at all that the skulls were there. The problem was, apparently, that the skulls were talking and gossiping to each other all the time, and often even fighting. What? Look at it. It's like fucking Haunted Mansion come to life. Yes. They said all this back and forth, bickering from the skulls was driving them nuts, and they couldn't sleep at night. Seriously, this actually happened. So off the skulls went to be buried back where they came from, and a new family rule was enacted. They were still allowed to bring home bones, and it says, yep, still the 70s. They just couldn't be skulls, and they had to bury them in the garden before the second sunset from when they brought them home. Okay. Interestingly, there's a Peruvian law that states all deceased must be buried before the second sunset of their death. This time in South America seems to be brimming with truly incredible family stories, like the time when they found out his other grandparents were M16 spies, right? MI6. MI6. MI6 spies in Colombia during the Cold War, and a super romantic story of his father serenading his mom at her house from a piano that he and his friends had stolen from a bar, put in a truck, and drove onto her lawn. playing the whole way. Why can't I have that? That is romance. It's all anyone wants. Now you're just fucking swiped on you. Now you're just nagging people in a bar and you're supposed to, that's enough. No. And then it says, oh, so sweet. But those are stories for another day. Thanks for all you do. I've been a listener since year two and really love your dedicated empowerment of women. I'm a female business owner disrupting my traditionally male industry and making space for mental health conversations. I also especially love your book and TV recommendations. I travel a lot for work and I love to cook and there's nothing better than a few MFM episodes to brighten my mood, no matter how slightly disturbing my husband finds it. Thank you again. You two are inimitable and we all appreciate you so much, Ash. What does inimitable mean? Like. One of a kind? Molly? Impossible to copy or imitate. One of a kind. Well, that's not true. Let's not be crazy. Yeah, you know who we're talking about. Wonderful. Thank you, Ash. That was a, first of all, culturally interesting, relevant, but also like what an insane thing that's just nearby. Yeah. Like that's just like, oh yeah, did you bring a femur home from the ruins? The ruin cemetery. Actually, we had a driver in Italy across Sicily and he was saying that there are ruins all across Sicily, but no one ever tells him. He never tells anybody because the government will come and take your land. Wait, what? They kind of like go, it's like if you have, you know. So he goes, oh, we used to, he goes, we used to climb on, there would be big columns from the temples and we played on all of it because it was a driver who took us to this one site where they had like built stuff up and he walked all around it and it was super cool. He's like, oh, we used to play here when we were little kids. We just get all over it. We climbed all over this stuff. I thought you were going to say there were some like mines hidden. Oh, no. That's, that's crazy. It's wild. And then he's like, oh, he goes, I know so many people. I know so many people that just have like ancient stuff in their garage. Because they're going to take their land if they tell them it's old. They're not telling anybody. Oh my God, that's amazing. It's so good. Yeah. I mean, there's your, there's the tour you want to go on. Yeah. October is the month when being scared is supposed to be fun. Terrified in a haunted house? Sure. Your actual house? Absolutely not. 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SimpliSafe, ahead of crime in real time. Goodbye. We've all had moments where dealing with health care or insurance feels completely overwhelming. You're sick, worried about someone you love, trying to understand what comes next. And suddenly you're spending hours on hold, filling out paperwork and trying to figure out who to call. Research shows patients spend the equivalent of an eight-hour workday every month coordinating their own care. Nobody hands you a roadmap when you're dealing with a diagnosis or ongoing health issues. That's why there's Solace Health. Solace provides personal health care advocates who average 16 years of health care experience and can help you get answers fast. Think of them as someone in your corner who understands the health care system and can handle the logistics while you focus on your health. They can help. With appointments, insurance denials, medical bills, treatment options, and understanding doctor recommendations. 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Dr. Teal's magnesium spray comes in a lightweight, fast-drying formula. Just shake it up and generously spritz onto the soles of your feet and massage until absorbed. I was kind of blown away the first time I used this spray because I do have problems sleeping. And when there's something this simple, you just spray it on your feet and suddenly you're asleep and the next morning you're like, wait, what happened? Did my problem just get solved? Like, it actually is that easy. And your stinky feet now smell like lavender. Like, what more do you want? How dare you call my feet stinky? For wellness, you can feel. Find Dr. Teal's magnesium spray online or in your local bath aisle. Goodbye. Between work, school, family obligations, and the endless Halloween hustle, it often feels like there's never a good time to slow down. The costumes, the parties, the planning, it all adds up. But no matter how busy life gets, even a small break can help us recharge, reset, and actually enjoy the moment we're in. Because breaks don't have to be big to matter. They can be the 15 minutes in your car before pickup or the two minutes while your little pumpkin ties his shoe. The pause between one task and the next, when you finally get a second to yourself. KitKat gives people permission to take the break they've earned and make it a better break, a real break. Because when you stop, even briefly, you don't fall behind. You come back a little lighter, a little clearer, a little more ready for whatever's next. While the world tells us to keep going, KitKat reminds us that the best time for a break is now. Have a break. Have a KitKat. Goodbye. Okay. This is. This is a trash parent story, but I'm not The subject line, it says, Hey, Karen in Georgia, picture it. It's summer 1995, and I'm four years old, and my family and I travel all the way to San Diego, California, from Kentucky for the first time. We did it right. We rented out the red convertible, drove across the Mexican border to have dinner and a dance, in parentheses, not a passport in sight, and spent the day at, all caps, SeaWorlds. Well, no, horrible, but as a kid. Horrible, but it was how it was. I was so excited. All the beautiful fish, and they even had those whales. We're sitting there watching the orca show. This is a four-year-old. We're sitting there watching the orca show at the top of the bleachers, and my mom, an elementary school teacher with permed hair and an ear for whispering, overhears some workers saying, and they need to be about 38 inches and less than 40 pounds. And my mother, not one to lose out on an experience, says, My daughter is less than 40. 40 pounds, and just yours to me. Oh, my God. Not five minutes later, I've been taken from my family by two random people, walked back behind the gates and onto a stage where directly in front of me emerges an orca whale onto a semi-submerged platform. No! A trainer in Lycra grabs me and hoists me up. I, a literal four-year-old, am sitting, straddling a killer whale. That's a smack. You have a photo? Holy fucking shit. This bitch, it's like she's on a fucking, what are those called, carousel. Right. With a fucking literal killer whale, and everyone's just laughing and smiling about it. If the carousel had horses that were dangerously wide, because this little girl's practically doing the splits on top of this orca. Holy shit. Meanwhile, this is an apex predator. These are more dangerous than great white sharks. I made that up, but I feel like I read that somewhere. They're the most dangerous. They're the biggest killers. And in the crowd? Not a speck of sunblock to be found. Wow. What a time. So, maybe that same year, I fainted at SeaWorld. Oh. I was there, and I fainted. Was it because that little girl was doing the splits so hard? No, but can we see my head in the background? Am I there? Okay. I am nothing but my mother's daughter, and I am loving it. I sit, smile, and wave to my adoring fans, not knowing at all what the actual hell was going on. Today? I don't remember much of it, other than being slightly upset afterwards that my butt was wet after the experience. Yeah. But this is definitely now my fun fact about me. I have made fun of my mother many times about this, how she let her oldest child, but four-year-old, go off with strangers and be placed on top of a giant sea creature whose name literally includes the word killer. Not true trash parent behavior, because come on, it was the 90s. Stay sexy and volunteer your toddlers for cool things, Emily. And then she says, PS, see attached photo of little Emily. Oh, my God, I love it. So, watch Darkwater, everyone. We have to say it. I mean, I feel like orcas should absolutely be protected, but I love that it's come to the turn in our culture where people need to be protected from the orcas now. Yeah. Because they're fucking trying to kill people. Because they deserve it. They're on it. Okay, well, I have a dad lore story. Hey, Georgia? Yeah. Did you say Darkwater? What's it called? Blackwater? Blackfish. Darkwater, Blackfish. Darkwater is a Japanese horror movie, isn't it? Is it? Isn't it? I think it's a film starring Mark Ruffalo. But it's from a Japanese. It's about chemicals in our water, I think. Yes. Oh, okay. So, Blackfish is what I'm talking about. Can you leave us all in, by the way, obviously? A hundred percent. Because this is great podcasting. This is content. It's how we. Okay, and we're back. It's called The. Disney X Trash Parent Crossover You Have Been Waiting For. Uh-oh. Ladies, sending love to you and the ERM team from my sofa in Oslo, Norway. Hey, we've been there. Hello. I'm currently watching you on Netflix. Congrats. And the Disney story from Anaheim made me rush to my laptop to share my contrasting yet parallel experience. Summer break for us back in the early 2000s was a bunch of my classmates' parents in Eagle Rock figuring out what to do with a gang of kids that included crashing the houses with pools, camping at Lake Piru, and an annual trip to Disney, normally at the peak of summer in July, date relevant later. With so many kids and activities, it isn't that wild that you wouldn't drive in the same car as your parents if you wanted to sit with your friend, etc. On this occasion to Disney, I sat and drove there with my friends, family, and we had a great day as a gaggle of kids and our parents. The time came to get on the trams that would bring us to the parking lot areas. In the chaos of everyone boarding the trams, I somehow got lost in the shuffle and couldn't recognize anyone in our group. I didn't end up boarding. We had. Just didn't get on the tram. No. I don't know these people. We had parked all in the same area, so I knew to stay put, and someone would be back to get me since they would realize I was missing. The fireworks were long over, it was getting colder, and the sparkle of the day had officially faded. I waited and waited until a cast member saw me and asked if I was lost. After telling them what had happened and how much time had passed, they took me to a lost kid center. Oh, I've been at Disneyland? Yeah. I've been to that, the little house. Oh my God, the like you ran off? Yep. Oh yeah. I ruined part of vacation. My parents thought I'd been kidnapped out at Disneyland when I was five. Oh God. This is that. That day at Disney is one big blur, but I remember clearly the older man who kind of looked like Santa staying with me for hours and gave me multiple pins for my lanyard, some Mickey Mouse nuggets, and set up some blankets for me to lay in. It's like a lost dog. I was just in a red chair. No one gave you shit. Meanwhile, my parents had driven all the way home. Sorry, I missed that completely. It was like a lost dog. I was put in a kennel. They put a nice fleece underneath me. Got a chew toy. Meanwhile, my parents had driven all the way home, and Eagle Rock is fucking, it's back in Los Angeles. Hours. Where they finally realized I wasn't with the family that I originally drove with, and because it was 2000, they had to go into the family's house to use their dial-up to find a hotline to Disneyland, which I always find the most cinematic part of the story. My parents apologized and fussed over me when I did finally talk to them on the phone as they were headed back to pick me up. I was so tired and slightly traumatized by this point, and my spacey but loving parents were a mess when they got there. My guardian Santa and other cast members kindly offered us a room in one of the hotels since it had been hours since the park had closed, and they had already driven home and back. So fucked. In hindsight, it is reasonable to think that the family I arrived with had assumed I would be going home with my parents, and my parents assumed I would go in the car with the family I drove with. It's definitely something you locked down beforehand, though. On the other hand, WTF, Mom and Dad? Anywho, that's how I also got a free night at a Disney hotel and spent my ninth birthday. That's cool. Stay sexy and teach your kids your phone number. It says Parenting 101. Brittany. Legendary. So scary, though. I got lost during the day and then was found. You know, I turned myself in and was found. But the idea that you're there and then just everything closes around you. Everything's just kind of shutting down. No. You're like, oh, shit. Oh, no. The feeling of being lost as a little kid is the scariest. Sure. Your actual house? Absolutely not. Feel safe in your own home? SimpliSafe is designed to help stop intruders before they get inside. And of course, I got freaked out. I opened my camera and it was a big spider dangling in front of the camera, which was terrifying in itself. But such a relief. And I love that I know that it works. Like so much better a spider than an actual person. But I'll be prepared. Right now, save 60% off with professional monitoring when you visit SimpliSafe.com slash fave. Goodbye. You're sick, worried about someone you love, trying to understand what comes next, and suddenly you're spending hours on hold filling out paperwork and trying to figure out who to call. Think of them as someone in your corner who understands the health care system, and can handle the logistics while you focus on your health. They can help with appointments, insurance denials, medical bills, treatment options, and understanding doctor recommendations. Advocacy improves outcomes, and Solace advocates are covered by insurance nationwide. It takes about two minutes. Two minutes, and it's covered by insurance. That's S-O-L-A-C-E Health.com slash murder. Goodbye. Magnetism. Dr. And when there's something this simple, you just spray it on your feet and suddenly you're asleep. And the next morning you're like, wait, what happened? For wellness, you can feel fine Dr. Goodbye. Between work, school, family obligations and the endless Halloween hustle, it often feels like there's never a good time to slow down. But no matter how busy life gets, even a small break can help us recharge, reset and actually enjoy the moment we're in. They can be the 15 minutes in your car before pickup or the two minutes while your little pumpkin ties his shoes. The pause between one task and the next. When you finally get to work. When you finally get a second to yourself. KitKat gives people permission to take the break they've earned and make it a better break. A real break. Have a break. Have a KitKat. Goodbye. Okay. Well, so, uh, my last email, uh, the subject. The subject line is Liza Minnelli's story. Okay. Brace yourself. Hi, all. I grew up in a New York suburb and I spent my youth training to be a ballet dancer. Wow. Well, well, well. Among the many places I would take class was a tiny underground, literally, studio on the upper west side of Manhattan that my trash parents inexplicably let me travel to by myself starting around the age 12. And it's, this was the early aughts. Okay. I had a book called A Very Young Dancer that I was given probably. Age seven. And it was all about the little girl who gets cast to play Clara in the Nutcracker at the New York City Ballet. Oh, wow. And it just, this, I was just like, oh, it's, it's her. She's here to tell us some stories. I had one called Angelina, who is a ballet dancing mouse. Oh, I know that book. Angelina. Mm-hmm. Very cute. Yeah. This place also rented studio space to a jazz teacher known only as Luigi. Luigi? Hit the thing. Hit it. Finally. Hit it. Ding, ding, ding. In honor of Georgia about to become a part of Italy folklore. Get ready. Okay. He'd been around forever and had a cult following within the New York theater scene. Luigi actually has an amazing story himself. And in parentheses it says, major car accident, would never walk again, self-rehabbed, et cetera. Oh, my God. Mm-hmm. Please tell us Luigi's story. Please. Documentary that shit. Please. I would love to. I would love to hear that. Okay. But that's for another time. Well, make time. Little bunheads like me were required to take his jazz classes during the school's August intensive program as part of our dance training, which I was not thrilled about at first. My 12-year-old brain saw Luigi as a hairy, weird old dude, and he honestly scared me a bit. But boy, am I glad I went, because his classes were unforgettable. I don't think I've ever seen a more bizarre mix of people in such a tiny space. Child ballerinas, random rich Upper West Side oldies. Old ladies in thong leotards. Yes. And massive beehive hairdos. Oh, please let that be me. Young theater professionals and Broadway legends like Ben Vereen and, you guessed it, Liza fucking Minnelli. One of our employees here, Craig Peralta, who we know and love very much, who was also on Broadway himself, concurs that Luigi was a very big deal, knows who it is, and said that there's a line about Luigi in one of the songs in a chorus line. Holy shit. Holy shit. So this guy's legendary, legendary. Ooh, I'm so excited. Okay, so it says, Oh, I love her. And she'd chat to us in the dressing room, often while. No! Often while naked. Oh, no, Liza. About whatever she felt like talking about. But you would have loved the theater department, because standing around naked was this thing people did to, like, where it's like, it's natural and it's your body. That was me. I make people so uncomfortable. I don't fucking give a shit. Yeah. And it's also kind of a brag of, like, I'm actually willing to stand around naked. Right, right. And, you know, that's theater. The fact that she did that's so funny. That's amazing. She'd tell us crazy stories about her life, ask us about ourselves, our goals and our dreams, or just monologue about shit I definitely didn't understand at the time. I'll never forget her encouraging us to go on and tell Auntie Liza what the young people are into these days while she was butt naked. Holy shit. She was just so kind and fun, and I still laugh thinking about her doing finger guns at the end of every combination in Jet Slash. Liza! No, no, no. She. Her and Luigi. I didn't appreciate how much she struggled with her mental health and substance abuse until I got older, but that only made me respect and admire her even more. She's truly incredible, and I'm so glad. I was lucky enough. I was lucky enough to share even a little time with her. Oh. How is it taking you 10 years to fucking write this in? I know. It's like one of the best fucking things. You're so selfish. You're one of the worst listeners we have because this is the story we've been waiting for. We've been asking you for this. And, god damn. You're kind of withholding. I just would like to mention now, if Liza Minnelli hears this, I got to play you in a musical about New Year's Eve before 1980. And you're the person I always pick when someone says, who would play you in a movie? Yes, that's right. Always you, Liza. We're big fans. Stay sexy and treat Liza Minnelli like she's anyone else, even when she's naked. And it's signed H, she, her. And then, here's a photo, H in costume, for a production of Petrushka around the time she took dance with Luigi and Auntie Liza. Look at her. Little baby. Amazing. Cute. Amazing. Great job. Okay, here's my last one. I'm a huge fan. And long-time listener, I heard your call for dad lore, and I wanted to tell you one of my favorite stories about my awesome dad. It was 1968, and Dennis was 20 years old, living in the band district of Richmond, Virginia. He had a day job working for an engineer, but at night and on the weekends, he would play in a band and do odd jobs. One night, he was asked to deliver a brand new pearl white Vox Phantom guitar to the mosque theater near his apartment. It was a guitar for the one and only Jimi Hendrix. Shit. Who was playing a show that night. Dennis knocked on the stage door and told the doorman that he had a delivery for the band. The doorman looked at him, looked at the guitar and said, I'll take it from here. But this was a big effing deal. And so my dad said, no way, I have to deliver this myself. The doorman let him backstage and went to find someone from the band to receive the guitar. Yeah, you can't fucking just hand a guy at the door something that precious. Or so the stagehand thought. Ooh. In actuality, my dad had spent months. Saving up for his very own pearl white Vox Phantom, the same guitar Brian Jones from the Rolling Stones played, I'm told. He had finally purchased the guitar when he found out that Jimi Hendrix was coming to town. He simply couldn't afford both. So he thought on his feet and boop-boop-bopped the stagehand into letting him backstage. Just held up his own guitar. Yes. That's like the thing of like, if you walk in somewhere like carrying a stepladder, you can get it anywhere. Or a clipboard. A clipboard, too. From there, in what must have been the absolutely most anxious moments of his entire life. No, he's a white man. He gets away with fucking anything. Yeah, he's fine. My dad managed to sneak up onto the balcony with his guitar. When Jimi Hendrix started playing, my dad worked his way into the crowd and watched the entire show. He got both the guitar and the show of a lifetime. Fuck. Epic. Thank you for reading the story. I adore my dad. Home Jim and Marty would love Dennis. He's sweet, funny, kind. And then it says, up grumpy. And one of my favorite people. I like to think that me and my two sisters helped make him that way. That's what happens to girl dads, but you already know that. Stay sexy and rock on, Bernie. P.S. Dad, if you're listening, it's okay. I know I'm the favorite and we don't have to tell my sisters. And then there's a photo. There's a photo of my dad as a grip at Red Rocks. Yes. Where me and my sisters were fortunate enough to watch many concerts from backstage while our dad worked. Look at him. Look at him. There's probably like 30 in this photo. This guy absolutely belongs backstage at a Jimi Hendrix or any other concert he wants to go to. I want that guy to be our grip on our next tour. That's a guy that's like, he's going to be like, he's going to know where the Coke is. Yeah. And then he's also going to know where the really good chicken strips after the show are. Totally. And he's got so much gaffer tape on him. Yeah. And great stories. Great stories. And he can drink. He can drink. Fun. All right, Dennis. Dennis, we believe in you. Thanks for doing a good dad job. Yes. If your daughters are writing to this podcast about you. I'm not calling you a trap. and even still and not yeah exactly you still kind of made it well amazing those were great thank you guys for writing in write your story yeah for sure write your story write your dad's story to us at my favorite murder at gmail it can be anybody's and now we go to Italy stay sexy and don't get murdered goodbye Elvis do you want a cookie this has been an exactly right production our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer is Tessa Hughes our editor is Aristotle Acevedo this episode was mixed by Liana Squilacci email your hometowns to my favorite murder at gmail.com follow the show on Instagram at my favorite murder listen to my favorite murder on the iHeartRadio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and now you can watch my favorite murder on Netflix and when you're there hit the double thumbs up and the remind me buttons that's the best way you can support our show you know a favorite m-word magnesium like the kind that's in Dr. Teal's magnesium spray made from a proprietary blend of topical minerals it's designed to relax and prepare you for a night of rest if you need a reset after your day make Dr. Teal's magnesium spray part of your nighttime routine generously spritz each foot before bed and you'll be all set I've actually started doing this and I'm obsessed with magnesium it does everything I want to do something like this is just like it's simple it's easy and it actually works totally for wellness you can feel find Dr. Teal's magnesium spray online or in your local bath aisle goodbye vacation planning should feel like a breeze not a deep dive into countless travel sites searching for the best deal with cheap Caribbean's budget beach finder you can search every destination and every date all in one search you'll save time and money with the budget beach finder say goodbye to endless scrolling and tab hopping and hello to budget beach bliss at your fingertips go to caribbean.com to try out the budget beach finder and see just how stress-free vacation planning should be goodbye new beginnings are exciting especially when they come with four wheels if you're shopping for your next car start your search with cars.com cars.com has the tools and expert advice to help you find exactly what you're looking for with more than two million new and used vehicles nationwide it's easy to search compare and find the right fit for you cars.com is there when you're dreaming planning or ready to embrace the new start your search with cars.com where to next goodbye when it comes to my policy farmers gives it to me straight so there's no surprises it's your coverage you should never be confused you hear that an insurance provider with a conscience we're a choir but yes we have that too straightforward coverage you can literally understand that's what you get when you have farmers bump bump bump bump bump learn more at farmers.com underwritten by farmers.com truck or fire insurance exchanges or affiliate products not available in every state