Mental Stability: we need to talk about it...

I'm back! Okay, hello. Welcome back to just girly things with me, Greta. I hope you're all doing amazing today. And if not, that's absolutely okay too, because like, I'm here to help you. You're free therapist, back at it again, on that grind, helping you guys out, because if I can help someone else out about something going on in their life right now, that they might just need a little bit of guidance or help on. I'm 100% going to help them. And just to let them know that they aren't alone in whatever battle they are going through at the moment. But before we start, I'm just going to put a little disclaimer that I have no schooling in therapy. I am not a therapist. I am simply speaking out from my experiences with things like these to help people. That maybe are going through something similar. And be, I apologize in advance if my tone of voice, be like, becomes or gets a little emotional, because even over a year later, these things are still very hard to talk about and almost relive through, because this is probably at my all time low, to be honest. So I'm sorry about that. So I love you all and let's get into it. Okay, now if you're one of my close friends, you know that like I joke about being mentally unstable all the time. And I think that's something that we maybe all joke about every so often, you know, like, oh, I'm not thriving today or whatever. But it is a very serious thing to go through as in being mentally unstable. And I'm proud to say that I am internally and mentally healed, because for almost half a year of my life, I was going extremely downhill. And I maybe didn't want to admit that to myself, because it made me feel even more just destroyed and torn down, knowing that I, you know, had kind of lost this like battle to myself, however you want to put it. And I feel like I probably did develop a slight depression, but analyze it deep inside. I started to really just not feel normal or okay, but I, I would put on a show or just kind of like mask how I was feeling around people. I mean, obviously not around my family or anything. I definitely expressed how I felt with them, but it was just primarily at school. And I didn't want to admit that I was kind of a little depressed. I was always trying to look at the positive side of things, but I think looking back, I maybe did develop a little bit of it. And to the people like listening to this from my old school, like obviously not everyone from there is like this, you know, but you all need to pay attention and check up on the people who are maybe super quiet or eat lunch alone or are drowning in their headphones or earbuds all day because they might need that assurance that someone is there for them. This is for people in general too. Anybody that's in school. Because, but majority people were so narcissistic of themselves and way too vain to care about, you know, people like that. Even people that I thought were my friends did not seem to like care or take my feeling seriously when I would try to talk to them, which really sucked. And I felt so alone and just like in this darkness that was slowly approaching me until it ate me up and I had become a completely different person than I once was. And that is something that is hard to say because I'm all for like character development, but this was like a setback. Like this took me so far back that I just could not keep up with it and I really let my true self go. I had turned just so empty inside that I was just this blank canvas and I was painting the picture that everybody else thought was pretty and trying to please everybody, you know, trying to please everyone so I didn't lose them. But apparently that wasn't enough, you know, I just wasn't there pretty picture that they wanted to see anymore. But now I know my worth and I think some of those people probably regret how they treated me, but the other ones still have their same shallow and salty personalities. Like they don't give an F about me and that's completely fine because I don't want to have their disgusting cocky energy around me anyways. And not everybody there was like this, but please let me know or reach out to me. If you would like for me to talk about like energy attraction because that is something that I find super important in life and I would love to talk about that because like the energy you're putting out into the world, you know, you would like to receive that same energy back. I'm just kind of ranting right now. But once I left that environment, I felt like the energy around me completely changed and I felt so much more happy after I left there. So matching that energy is so important in life and I would love to do an episode about that because I really do believe in that. Okay, sorry, I just had to take a little break and clean my mind because I really don't like to hold on to those negative thoughts or feelings. And I hope you don't think I'm like, oh feel bad for me type of person like I'm simply speaking about my experience and I can't a little heated or emotional about it because it's a tough subject to talk to tackle and talk about and you know, I'm proud of myself for talking about it because it's nice to get my feelings out there because I've never talked about things like this on YouTube ever. I've never got enclosure on just that whole situation there. I don't know if I really want to talk about it just because I don't want to like not necessarily drag people under the bus but I know the people there would not be happy about me talking about that. Well, just, we won't really, no comments on that. But with doing this podcast, I want it to be an opportunity to be able to talk about like issues like this because not a lot of people I feel shed enough light on mental health and getting better but more importantly healing inside because your inside glow up is really all that matters. And so like, yeah, like I said, I am so for character development and becoming the best version of yourself that you can be. Now when I left school the first week or two were really hard because all these people suddenly cared about me now, like no, Han, that is not how this works. I mean, I get asking questions and when people asked, I simply explained that I was not happy to go to school anymore and I could not handle it. I couldn't handle going somewhere where I felt like I was always being judged by people for my particular lifestyle, you know, that I enjoyed living. And another thing too, I was surrounded by people who were constantly being fake. Like, oh yeah, Blinken, we are fighting right now, so I'm just going to sit by you today, you know, like, oh, we're besties again. Like, no. And they were especially fake when I would do like school vlogs or when I was doing vlog miss. I would have random people who, you know, would ask to be in the video or the more sad part is is that I would have people who talked major shit about me the day before. And then the next day, apparently we were just fine and that we were freaking BFFs or something, you know, excuse the language there, but like, it was so, you know, that really took a toll on me too, like, just being used. And not that I, like, gained anything from them being nice to me for those two minutes, like, it was just that feeling of being used is so, it's, it's really hurtful. And I'm sorry, I keep, oh, I keep ranting and I'm getting slightly sidetracked, but maybe you've gone through a similar scenario as well. So just so you know that other people have gone through some of the things, you know, some of the struggles as you and it really sucks. [BLANK_AUDIO] I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now or maybe you have in the past, but you just have to keep pushing and leave that toxic environment to help yourself. And mind you, I've known these people my whole life that I used to go to school with, but people change and everything happens for a reason I strongly believe that. Sometimes the reason doesn't make sense right now, but I promise you that it will help you grow so much. Like you'll realize the pain that you are temporarily paying or have paid is sometimes the cost of becoming the person you are meant to be or are becoming. You know, it, yeah, it just really sucks in the moment, but I promise you it all happens for a reason. Every day is a new day to evolve and learn new things or life lessons. It's hard to hear right now because I didn't understand it at first. I was in that like, why me? Why is this happening to me? But like the higher power always has a plan for you. And now that I'm completely free from those people, I am possibly living the best version of myself and my life right now. And you should try to make every day of your life as best as you can. Looking back, I don't regret anything that I went through, which kind of sounds weird. And you might be thinking like she is absolutely crazy, like psycho weird, you know, who wants to live with trauma. But like sometimes things like this, it helps you shape you into the person that you are today. Sometimes you just need to, you know, wait a while to reanalyze the situation and realize that, you know, without this, like what would have happened, you know, would I still be surrounded by that toxic environment, you know, like everything happens for a reason. Now, my advice on healing mentally would be to take time for yourself and work on yourself, whether that might be physically because I felt like dance really helped me escape my problems, so to say, and it was a very safe space where I felt, you know, loved by everyone there, great support group. You know, maybe fitness is a stress relief for you. That's amazing too, you know? Or taking time to, you know, if you're a reader, just read a book or lay outside and listen to music. That makes you feel happy, you know, or light some candles and take a nice bath with a little bath bomb or something, you know? Painting or doing art is a great way to express yourself, you know, or your emotions personally for me. And everyone is so different, so just find a healthy way to kind of express yourself or deal with your pain or help escape that for a while or whatever you're going through. You know, it's always great and can help you calm down and just get those things off your mind if you need that because for some people talking about it or talking through it is another way. But some people would rather just take time to calm down by themselves and that's completely all right too. I want this podcast to be a safe place where I can't talk about things like this because it is very, very important to me knowing that other people can have someone to help them and almost guide them through tough times that they might be experiencing right now. And that's, you know, why I'm here to be a little therapist. But I do genuinely care about helping people overcome tough times. And some people might be embarrassed to say that they've gone to therapy, subject change. I was so random. But to be honest, I think everyone should go to therapy once in their life because, you know, it really does help and it makes, you know, it can make you feel safe and give you and they can give you amazing advice that you might not think of. Like, I don't think therapy should be something to feel like ashamed of because we all need a little bit of guidance from an outside perspective. And it can really open your thoughts. And personally, like, it really helped me become a more open person with my feelings. It really helped me express myself and to not be afraid to talk about how I feel because before I felt like I used to almost bottle everything up and not really talk about things that often, but it really did help me. And they are there to help you. I'm not to judge you for your situations going on, which some people maybe need to hear because they feel like they might be judged, but they are generally there to help you. When I started to feel mentally just stable again, was honestly the best feeling in the world. And I felt free. I felt like the storm had finally passed. And I was starting to just feel normal again and happy and not trapped by just a surrounding darkness that kept me stuck in this constant state of sadness. And being able to surround myself with the people who truly cared about me helped a ton too. You know, they know my gratitude and how thankful I am that I have them in my life. And I love them beyond words can describe. And having a good support system is very important. But unfortunately, not everyone has that. And you know, I'm here to openly say that I will always be your guys' support system and make sure you're doing OK. Or if you ever need someone to talk to, like, I'm always here. But that is all for today's episode. I hope that this maybe helps you out. Maybe you could relate. Unfortunately, if you have, I'm so sorry. But maybe you've gone through a similar situation like this. And sometimes hearing other people talk about their experiences can help a lot too. I hope that the advice that I gave you isn't too generic or basic. If you would like me to go into more detail, I would love to do a little part to this. But hopefully, you've stuck around till the end. And I appreciate all the amazing support I've gotten on my podcast in the last week. Yeah, it's going to be a week. And I love you all. And stay tuned for next week's episode. Bye.