Men Scared of Smart Women, Women Done with Weak Men

Welcome back to another episode of the self-work podcast. This is season 2. And I know you'll all have missed me. I've been seeing your DMs every single day by the way. There's at least one or two people. But like, Dino, when's the podcast coming back? Dino, don't do this to us. Well, here I am. And we got to embrace this while it is here. Today's episode is going to be an absolute banga. And I've actually been thinking about what this season is going to be about and what I wanted to stand for. Because if you consumed season one, you would know it was more internals about you, your mind and your triggers. But this season, I want to challenge some other things, things that go slightly deep, or more importantly systems. The system that has been created around us, the things that are normalized, the things we inherited without realising. And the things that actually shaped our world beat. Because you right now, that's currently listening to this. I can guarantee you, your entire belief system, you think you consciously chose. I can bet my bottom dollar is something you inherited. So you might be informed. This episode is going to be an absolute banga. I've been writing about this for quite some time. And when you guys just sit with this till the end, I'm currently recording this in Ramadan. So use this as a form of reflection. Something that I've been observing for a long time actually, in real life, my community, DMs. And something that's been getting louder and louder, you're probably going to realise what is it that I'm talking about, is this growing wave of male insecurity being disguised as protectiveness or misogyny being disguised as modesty. You've got the red pill ideology creeping into every space, even the Islamic spiritual space. You've got these wannabe red pill gurus. And most importantly, the shame-based purity culture that's been producing paranoia, double lives and resentment. And on the other side, because as I said, this isn't targeted at one specific gender. On the other side, you've got women who are genuinely hurt, genuinely tired. And instead of healing, they end up weaponising feminism in a way that hardens them. And then this, which is funny to me, actually feeds the male bitterness. And it becomes a loop that nobody knows how to break. Let me actually introduce this idea and let me actually help you work through this. Because I want to make this clear from the start. This is not an attack on religion, I'm not here to call anyone and I'm not here to give you any lectures by the way. This episode is just about one thing to me. When culture, insecurity and even to some extent social media and the algorithm, hijack, morality and spirituality, both men and women, we all suffer. And I want you guys to remember that specific point. And the reason I want to talk about this is because I genuinely believe one of the main reasons we are seeing so much confusion and so much resentment and so much hatred towards each other. And the reason why there's so many broken people with mics online is everyone's just projecting their wounds. So if you've ever felt confused and I want you to listen to this, if you've ever been confused about what is right or what is cultural noise versus what is spirituality, this episode is for you. And I want you to listen to this slowly. Where does this problem even begin? This confusion because when I trace back my own hyper awareness, it didn't start with social media. Of course it didn't. I grew up being outside, bike riding, being around people. And I always ask myself, where did I download my inherited beliefs? For me personally, it's tied with people. I grew up in an ethnic household and if you grew up in an ethnic household, you already know what I'm talking about. Everything is reputation based. Don't embarrass us. Don't move like that. Don't speak like that. What will people say? Who saw you? Who were you with? Why did he do that? These are things we hear on a daily basis. And you don't even realize it at the time, but from young, you're being trained into a mindset. You're not asking what is right, what is sincere as you should. You're not even asking what is meaningful. You're asking how does this look? Will they judge me? Will they label me? Is this going to damage my bloody family name? Will people think I'm weird? And that mindset, believe it or not, follows you everywhere you go. And you feel it, especially in environments that are meant to be spiritual. This is the most important thing. It's going to come full circle at the end. But the part that hit me that actually affected me for big part of my childhood is I wasn't actually scared of God. You're not meant to really be fearful of God, but I wouldn't be God's century. I wouldn't be focused on God, I should say. I was scared of people. And that is a dangerous foundation because if you think about it, everyone always tells you fear God, but in reality, you fear the way people judge you, the way they label you, the way they categorize you. That is what you end up being scared of. So if you're more compass, slowly shipped, and this is very important, it becomes reputation based instead of principle based. And when your morality is built on reputation, you don't build integrity, you build absolute performance. And think about it, I've performed for a big part of my teenage years. Performance over time becomes identity. This is why so many people today don't even know who they are. They just know how to look right. So let me actually ask you something. When you think back to your childhood or your teenage years, what was the dominant voice that was guiding you? Was it? Think about this. Do right because it is right. And I know this is right. Or was it don't do that because people will talk? Be honest because that is the difference or that difference is the beginning of everything we are about to discuss. If you were raised more by people will talk than this is right. You were raised by a reputation system. And the reason why this is so important to me is I spent a lot of my teenage years battling different things and trying different things out experimenting, doing things wrong, doing things right. And I didn't actually have anyone to reference or anyone to actually confide in because I was raised in a system which is entirely reputation based. And this is a cultural infusion. This isn't a religious thing by the way. When you grew up in certain cultural backgrounds or other Somali background for anyone that Somali listened to this or even South Asian or even North African is pretty much the same thing. It's all reputation based. So you can't even say things that you're struggling with. You can't even say things that you're not understanding because everyone always tells you, Hey, this is not what we stand for. Do not embarrass us. And that's the problem. Fear. And when fear is your foundation, everything else becomes fragile. Now here's where things get messy because people and I noticed this especially on the internet confuse culture and religion like they're the same thing. Culture and religion are not the same thing by the way. And because people do not separate the two properly, it creates so much confusion. Have you realized there's a propaganda being pushed and two religion propaganda? And every time people speak and they talk about their religious experiences, it is almost always a cultural thing. Don't get me wrong. Culture can have good values. Of course it can. But culture can also contain insecurity, ego, paranoia, honor obsession. You know, this whole idea that, you know, honor is the most important thing. And shame. And the problem is culture is very, very, very good at high jacking religious language to justify itself. And because nowadays is become intertwined and because you grew up with both at the same time, it becomes very difficult to separate what is actually principled and what is just inherited fear, which is why one of the things I spoke about recently that I wanted to share with you guys is you have to learn the religion for yourself because it is very easy when you grew up in a household as reputation based, shame based, honor based, everything is all about fear, fear mongering, fear mongering. Matter of fact, all you are fearful of is humans rather than the creator is very easy to develop resentment towards the religion because it is so intertwined. So instead of someone saying nowadays, if you think about it, instead of them saying I'm insecure, they say I'm protecting my honor. Instead of someone saying I don't trust myself, they would say I'm lowering my gaze. And again, critical thinking caps on this is why it's very important to acknowledge this with a critical thinking lens. Instead of someone saying I fear women because I like discipline, what did they say? I'm safeguarding my religion. And because the words sound moral, no one actually challenged it and that is how broken mindsets become normalized. I saw a video at the time I'm recording this that said I would never go to my friend's house if his wife's there. I made a video on this but at the same time I paused and I thought about it and I said what does this actually mean? Your friend, his wife is at her house, her home, simply existing. If you're saying your solution is you can't enter. What are you implying here that women are inherently a problem that yourself control is so fragile, you can't exist in the same space, that your morality collapses over the mere presence of a woman. Is that what you are actually saying? And because as I said, we have normalized this so much, men will say it confidently and act like it is wisdom. You will hear things like across social media and sometimes in real life. I don't want my woman educated. I don't want my woman working. I don't want her around friends. And he gets framed as leadership as protection. But if you learn to deconstruct and this is what we're going to talk about in this episode, I've done this a few years back and it's really healed my mentality. It has allowed me to stay grounded, to stay honest and to stay genuine. When you learn to deconstruct what's underneath it, all you hear is, I don't trust myself. I don't respect women enough to see them as a human. I see women as temptation first. Listen to this. Person second. I don't have internal discipline. So what do I do? I build external avoidance and call it something like piety. That's what I hear. Now let me ask you honestly, but anyone listen into this. Have you ever agreed with something like that and deeply, deep down because you are sincere, genuine person? You realize you don't actually really know why? Or maybe you've never said it out loud, but you have that or you felt the underlying fear. Be honest with yourself. Because this episode is not about attacking random people. It's about dismantling the logic that is spreading. Because as long as you internalize that logic, you will never ever live comfortably. You're going to live in paranoia. You're always going to try to control people. You're probably going to isolate yourself and be lonely and you're never going to be able to experience life for what it is. And that is why these ideology spreads so easily because insecurity is common. And what happens if they get shrouded in religious language? This is where it gets very technical. They get wrapped up in morality and you think it's the truth, but it's just fair with a good branding or religious branding. Which is why when you look at certain people on the internet that are pushing this religious narrative or for some women that may be pushing anti-religion narrative, it's always from a insecurity perspective. And once you realize it and once you see it, you will never unsee it. Because if you don't learn to separate the two things, culture and principle in of itself, you end up defending your own cage. So let's actually continue breaking this down. Now, moving on, I want to talk about this whole concept of protectiveness. Because I'm not denying that men should be protected. Unprotected. Men should have responsibilities. They should have standards. They should have leadership. But there is a massive difference. And for any man listening to this, this is education. And for any woman listening to this, this is also education and awareness. There is a massive difference between protection and control. And we need to stop lying to ourselves about that. Let's actually separate them because people listening to this may not even realize. Protection is the following. I'm responsible for myself. I'm responsible for my household. I am disciplined. I am not paranoid. And I am not reactive. Protection always remember comes from strength. Control though. Control is very interesting because it is almost always rooted in insecurity. Control if you really reverse engineer and define it is. I don't trust myself. I don't trust you. I need to restrict you to feel safe. I need you smaller so I feel bigger. That's partly the reason why they don't like educated women. Or I need your freedom to reduce so my anxiety is reduced. An emphasis on the last one because sometimes when someone says I'm protective of my partner, what they actually mean is I've reduced their freedom to the point where my insecurity feels quieter. You know, at the time I drop that to some of my male friends when I'm trying to educate them. They're like that. Maybe you might be telling the truth because I'm always around people that I don't have egos. A lot of the people that I like hanging around do not have egos. They're like learning. So if some of my friends call out what I am doing, I absolutely accept it as long as it makes sense to me. So just remember when someone says I'm protective of my partner, witness them. I actually watch them. Most of the time it is I've restricted their freedom to the point where my insecurity feels quieter. That is just anxiety management. And the issue is a lot of men call this protection because it sounds noble. Sounds like leadership. But the reality is most of it is rooted in fear. A lot of men are scared of being embarrassed. They're scared of having comparisons or reference points. That is why I even had a friend. I don't know if I've mentioned this in a podcast before, but you wanted to get to know a sister that was good, ambitious, level-headed, everything was good. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, then he dropped the butt. And I said, how can you get worse from this? He said, oh, but she's been married before. I said, did she have kids? He goes, no. Even though by the way, there's nothing wrong with having kids, but because he's unmarried and he doesn't have kids that could be a preference thing. And then I said, so what's the issue? Then he's like, oh, she's just been married before, man. I don't know. There's just something wrong with that. Anyways, after sitting there and going or giving him an unofficial therapy lesson, it was more so he was scared of the comparison. A woman having a reference point because having a previous partner. So let's actually talk about this. Let's actually sit with this. Are you really protective or are you insecure? More importantly, are you grounded in yourself and grounded in the person you chose? Or are you secretly anxious that something out there could really challenge your identity? A big part of my growth in my 20s was really challenging my weak spots. Anytime I felt like I was inadequate, anytime I felt unintelligent, I always realized my ego would translate that into being aggressive, being loud, being controlling, whether it's a friendship or an intimate partnership. I would always be that guy that would overcompose a dominate. No, don't do this. Do this. No, I don't like people that do this. But when I sat down with myself and I deconstructed it at one time, I realized it was rooted in the fear of being seen as inadequate. Because that's when I started realizing that a lot of the things we do as men is to just protect our fragile egos. A man would say I don't want my partner doing XYZ, but the reality is what he means is I don't like the anxiety that it triggers within me. You don't know how to manage their emotions. And instead of dealing with the anxiety, what does he do? He restricts the environment. So just remember this. The next time someone says I am protective and they constantly repeat it. Ask him what does that actually mean to him? If it means I am disciplined and I am principled and I have full trust in my partner, fantastic. Or it could mean I don't trust women and I'm scared what people will say. If his protectiveness in a nutshell is driven by reputation and fear, it's not leadership, it's just insecurity packaged around religion and masculinity. A man who needs to control a woman to feel like a man does not have masculinity. I've been trying to tell people this for so long. You don't have to prove masculinity to a woman, she'll see it. And that is why a lot of men become performative and performances fragile and that is why it becomes harsh, it becomes controlling and it becomes loud because it is built on fear, not internal authority. Take this away if you take nothing else because I know I do speak sometimes where you have to pause and reflect on things. You do not have to prove to people what you already are. If you are constantly trying to convince the world that you are super protective, ask yourself, are you protective or are you controlling? The next thing now I want to deconstruct for all the young men listening is this concept of an educated woman should be feared because my goal with this podcast and also in general is to make people see things from a healthier perspective. We've been seeing this trend online where people come out and say, "Men shouldn't go for educated women, educated women should be feared, you don't want a career woman, why would you want a woman that knows too much?" And I'm going to be real with you, I used to think like that as well, I used to absolutely believe that. And the reason why I'm saying this is, I'm not talking from some pedestal, I'm not trying to sound perfect, I used to have the exact same mindset that I'm warning you guys against, especially when you are raising certain environments where you don't question things. Someone says, "You don't want a career woman" and you're like, "Yeah, true, why would I want that? Just get a woman who doesn't really know anything." And it becomes the norm. See how no one questions it. But let's actually slow this down and ask the real questions. What is it that you are scared of young man? The honest with me, are you scared of her having a brain? Are you scared of her being able to articulate herself? Are you scared of her having options? Are you scared of her being harder to manipulate? Oh, big one. Probably stung, right? Harder to manipulate is something that I always try to repeat to men. Are you scared that you wouldn't be able to manipulate her because you're not exude masculinity? Let's just call a spade a spade because that's exactly what it is. This isn't pandering, this isn't me trying to sound progressive, by the way. This is me just telling you what is underneath the mindset a lot of men have in this society. A lot of men fear educated women because educated women reduce the effectiveness of control. If a woman has a knowledge, confidence, financial stability and awareness, she's less likely to tolerate nonsense. Let's just be honest. And men who have built their entire identity, and I mean their whole entire identity, by the way, on being needed. A woman needs me. A woman has to have me. They panic because if she doesn't need you, now you actually have to be valuable through character. So instead of becoming a better man, they frame her competency as a threat. They shame her. They belittle her. They try to make her smaller. And then they try to call it masculine leadership. And in reality, it's just insecurity. So for all the men listening, let's level for a second because I'm trying to make you guys become confident, grounded men. And for any woman that's listening to this, I'm also helping you understand the male psyche. If you're married or you're looking to get married or you're thinking about your future, if your wife or your future wife becomes more intelligent, more confident, more capable, would you feel proud or would you feel threatened? And I'm not asking you for an ideal answer about it. You're not giving me the correct answer. Answer it for yourself. If your woman is doing amazing things, she's intellectual, she's capable. She still loves you. She still rates you. Deep down, would you still feel proud or would you feel like you're being challenged? Because if the answer is threatened, you, my friend, have got some work to do. And I'll speak on it myself as well. This is something I have to build. I am no different to you guys. We are just a product of our environments. But there's only so much you can blame or in so much blame you can put towards the environment. You tell me back in the days that she's a graduate from Oxford. I'll be the hell no. Get me a woman from the village. Why would I want someone from Oxford? I'd rather she pick crops and doesn't speak English. And I had to sit down and ask myself, where does that even come from? It comes from fear. Because a secure man doesn't need to compete with his woman. He doesn't need to put her beneath him to feel like he is above water. And that is why I want you to realize. For all the young men listening, if you feel like you need to put someone down in order to feel masculine, your masculinity was never solid. And that is why you're trying to clutch onto something that makes you feel masculine. But why would you want to live your whole entire life performing? To now make things worse, we've also got the massive red pill movement which I've spoken about before. And the reason why I'm mentioning it now is it has creeped into religious spaces. Red pill has slowly entered spaces where it's now being framed as truth, as wisdom, as this is just how men and women are. And one thing I really disagree with is that like by the way if you want to tap into my psyche is I really dislike absolute terms where people would brandish someone as an absolute men are this women are this and most of what red pill offers is emotional convenience. Let's actually simplify the language they use. They would say women are like this men are like this trust nobody dominate or be dominated relationships are transactional women only want power men must control and the reason it appeals and I want you to tap in with me here because it obviously affects a certain type of man it doesn't affect every man there's probably a man listening to this thinking yeah red pill is corny but there's also a massive group of men that take this in it is simply because it gives lonely men certainty it gives hurt men a target okay let's vilify women it gives insecure men a script to follow in life and the struggling man out there hopes that one day he'll be able to control someone but here's the thing there's a difference between truth and intensity and I've said this before that algorithm does not reward truth it rewards intensity the more outrage anger fears suspicion a video can generate the more vital it becomes why do you think nuanced content doesn't travel as fast I can wholeheartedly tell you there's a reason why my content in of itself doesn't gain as much traction because it provides nuance when you look at social media as a landscape it only makes or the things that go viral or the people that are pedestalized are ones that push absolute statement so if I come on the internet and I'm like as a man you should never trust the woman I'm going to get a lot of engagement I'm going to get a lot of views but more importantly I'm going to build a cult like following see if you tap into the marketing side of things I'm not going to bore you guys with this but there's a concept called creating the common enemy which they use this a lot in marketing which is if we demonize one team I'm going to create such a cult like following that they're going to ride for me till the end so if you look at someone like Andrew T for example he has a cult like following there's certain people that he could do the most heinous crime in the world they would still not turn their backs against him because they gave a broken person a voice instead of teaching them to heal what did I do I validated their hurt so when you watch one red pill video then another and another and you slowly become paranoid suspicious bitter you think you're becoming wise but you just became guarded you became anxious and the worst part of it is it is framed as masculinity these men puff their chest out thinking they're emotionally intelligent thinking they figured women out but in reality they are scared and here's my hot take and I've said this before men are becoming more feminine than women and I don't mean soft I mean bitter, spiteful men are more nasty than women nowadays they'll always be watching another man's video on judging always trying to one up someone always trying to dominate always seeking male validation and then you wonder why women say things like men aren't emotionally stable because a lot of men unfortunately live for male approval they don't move from first principles it's always from ego so I want you to ask yourself this do you want to lead from calm grounded conviction or do you want to lead from fear because if you lead from fear you create a fearful whole fear in of itself does not create love it creates compliance and compliance is not connection have you ever seen those pseudo alpha leaders the moment something about them gets exposed nobody gives them grace nobody defends them why because they led with fear and people were just waiting for their downfall because fear never builds loyalty it builds silence so if you're with a partner right now and you're in a relationship and you're trying to dominate them and still fear in them I can't do you know most people will just buy their time and when the moment's right when the cards are all laid out they may make a move that may shock you so to balance this now I want to talk about the reaction from the other side because this conversation cannot just be about men let's talk about what has happened to women many women throughout time have been mistreated they've been controlled they've been silenced they've been policed so instead of healing what did women do as a retaliation some of them not all of them by the way there are some good grounded women out there for some of them have built ideologies around their wounds now you see empowerment people use as ego armor and it looks strong from the outside you look at them they're confident they look beautiful they're independent but deep down I promise you all of these people are lonely why because it blocks intimacy it blocks vulnerability and it blocks trust and now what do we have women can't trust men men can't trust women and everyone online is preaching truth whilst they are privately lonely so for the woman listening to this I want you to actually ask yourself this genuine question if you are a godfair in women or women I should say answer this are you building boundaries or are you building walls because boundaries are calm boundaries do not include resentment you can absolutely set a boundary and be authentic within it whereas walls come from fear are you discerning or are you assuming are you a good judge or are you jumping to assumptions based on what you consume and that being your confirmation of bias and for a lot of women this may actually strike a chord ask yourself are you truly healing or are you hardening I noticed a lot of women nowadays unfortunately they harden themselves because it feels powerful by still a defense system if we are serious about creating healthy communities we need to address both sides you as a woman cannot harden yourself to the point where you become masculine because that doesn't last long I do get that in order to navigate this world you have to have your wits you have to also have discernment discernment is very powerful is your ability to judge and gauge situations I'm good at discerning I'm good at judging I don't actually become spiteful towards women I think women are absolutely amazing they're great humans same thing with men if a woman's viewing men you need to acknowledge a man's flaws and you need to find your type of man but the moment we start pointing fingers at each other have you not realized we're playing into the overall scheme or game this pyramid called life they get you guys to go against each other so you can be fragmented divided so they can control you guys in a much easier way so just keep that in your mind because if you've listened this far and you're sat here wondering what is actually going on let me zoom out for you a bit because the real rule of all of this is identity insecurity this is not about men versus women this isn't about culture versus religion this isn't about masculinity versus femininity it is all identity insecurity because people who do not know who they are are easily threatened you've probably seen this in your own life whenever someone is going through an identity crisis what are they they're high-percentive they get triggered easily they're defensive men who do not have internal authority are threatened by capable women women who do not feel safe internally are threatened by male leadership and when you grow up in a reputation based environment constantly watched constantly judged constantly policed you internalize it so you start living through optics the optics create fear fear creates control control creates resentment I say this all the time resentment creates ideologies ideologies create division and that becomes the loop and the reason so many men are lonely and the reason so many women are bitter the reason why there's so much fighting going on online is identity insecurity you haven't sat long enough by yourself with yourself to figure out who you are so you borrow certainty from the internet and believe it or not that is the most depressive state to be it and because borrowing certainty feels strong you know you're not acknowledging or should I say you're failing to see that it is fragile so let me actually ask you guys something powerful to reflect them anytime I make a podcast episode I want you guys to reflect on the things that I'm saying which part of your belief system is actually principle things that you wholeheartedly believe are based on facts are actually based on evidence and what part of what you currently believe is inherited fear because if you cannot trace it you are not thinking you are inheriting and that is why whenever you challenge someone store and get like oh why do you actually believe this why do you think this is the case they're like oh it is because it just is it someone says it just is because they inherited that and that is why most people cannot think for themselves they only speak in narratives so if you're sitting here now thinking okay Dino you've criticized or critiqued everything what does a healthy approach actually look like well pull your chair in get your note pattern pen I want to actually build out what eye classes healthy masculinity and healthy femininity let's start with healthy masculinity to me healthy masculinity looks like disciplined without paranoia I don't actually have to have these paranoid thoughts because I'm so grounded in myself and also being a spiritual being I do believe God wouldn't put me in situations that I cannot handle if I trust God and I'm grounded in myself and I've made the right decision through the trust of God why do I need to be paranoid to simplify I'm grounded in myself that if I choose a partner I trust her also leadership without domination protection without control and accountability without ego a healthy man does not need women smaller he needs himself stronger so one of the things I did a few years back was developed what who radical acceptance accepting myself for the current situation I'm in meaning that I'm not going to lie to myself I'm insecure I don't like seeing people doing better than me I get intimidated by seeing an intellectual person all of these things allowed me to become who I am because I faced it I realized I just needed to make myself stronger because you can lead through the embodiment you don't actually have to impose or force anyone to do anything and now let's talk about healthy femininity healthy femininity to me looks like intelligence without shame you can absolutely be the intellectual person you are and not get ashamed for it however there's a few things that I'm going to add to that which is having confidence without hostility and boundaries without bitterness a lot of women are noticed when they do become intellectual when they do become confident they would have this almost hostile, aggressive personality which comes from an identity insecurity. You can actually have your boundaries be who you are, be intellectual and still remain feminine, still remain respectful, still remain a woman. Because in society nowadays when you look at the internet, I'm talking to women right now. When you look at women on the internet that are followed, that have a massive following, that are leading people, what do they teach you? Be unkind, be unjust, be unforgiving why? Because this capitalistic market demands that of if there's so much evil in the world does that mean you have to join evil in order to get your peace? I trust in God, I'm a spiritual man first and foremost, so I believe if I'm doing good, I will never ever be swayed by someone's evilness and badness despite how many things they may possess because guess what? They may have things around them, but inside I can almost guarantee they are empty. So just remember that you can have strength and softness without hardness. A healthy woman does not need to villainize men in order to feel empowered. She just needs herself anchored. So a man needs himself stronger and a woman needs herself anchored. So what does a healthy dynamic then look like? Because you're probably thinking, okay, this is for men, this is for women, but let's say now you guys come together in unison, your partners now. For me personally, it's all about mutual respect having clear boundaries and trust built through character. If you're with someone and you chose that person, why are you paranoid? If you are with that person and you chose that person, why are you trying to control them? Does that mean you are doubtful of the decision you made? Was it rooted in insecurity? Because this is something you have to think about. If you pick someone you don't trust, that is on you. If you need to impose concentration camp level restrictions on your spouse, you chose wrong or you don't trust yourself. So ask yourself this pen and paper. Does your world view right now make you feel calm or doesn't make you feel paranoid? Because if it makes you feel fearful, more suspicious, more angry, it is protecting your ego and it's not guiding you anywhere. So to get to the part of this podcast episode, and I've done this before, where we actually give you some practical steps. And I'm serious, I want you guys to get a pen and paper and write this down. This is something I had to do before. And if I had to do it, you guys are no better than me. So number one, first question on what you guys to ask yourself is, where did your views of the opposite gender come from? Be honest, did it come from real experience? Did it come from cultural narratives? Did it come from internet content or inherited fear? I want you to sit with it and answer it. Number two is, what do you believe women are like? For men especially and also women, you need to view what a woman's like as well. What is the stereotype in your head? I want you answer that, ask yourself, where did it come from? Number three, for women and men. What do you believe men are like? What is the stereotype and where did it come from? Think about it. And number four is, when you talk about modesty or boundaries, is it disciplined or is it fair? Are you trying to impose these things because you're scared of the impending doom on the other side? Number five, I'm very in mind, there's seven questions. So when you guys to write every single one down, are you attracted to extreme content online? Be honest with me, it is okay. Red pill content, gender wars, rage, bay, humiliation content, women bashing men, are you attracted to this type of content? I want you to ask yourself why if you are and you said yes. And under that, I want you to actually ask yourself, what emotions are you feeding? Is it hurt? Is it betrayal? Is it trauma? What is it that you are validating when you are attracted to this type of content? Number six, if you are a man, does a strong woman make you proud or threatened? And number seven, for a woman, if you are a woman, does a strong man make you feel safe or suspicious? Your answers will reveal your wounds and it won't reveal your preferences. I can promise you, when you stop generalizing entire genders and you start evaluating individuals as in what is this person's character? Are they accountable? Are they emotionally mature? Do they respect boundaries? It will actually help you live a healthier life. I want you to delete your wound teachers. Anyone that speaks in absolutes, I repeat, anyone that speaks in absolutes, delete and block them from today because life exists in nuance. You need to learn to build internal authority because if you are a man, the only thing that's going to save you is discipline, self-control, responsibility and drum roll please, emotional regulation. If you are a woman, internal anchoring, boundaries, having discernment, being a good judge, self-respect and drum roll please, healing distrust. So if you reached the point of this episode, I tried to make this first episode a heavy hitter. I want to close this properly because in all honesty, man, I care about every single one of you that is listening to this. I care about the state of the world. We're entering a time where broken ideologies are getting louder and louder. And I care about every single one of you that keeps listening to this. I don't want you guys getting swept up in noise. nuance content doesn't go viral. This podcast will never ever be the most viral podcast you'll see in the world. And that's not a limiting belief. That's just the state of affairs. The algorithm rewards outrage. It rewards extremism. It rewards division. But if you somehow found this and you've sat through this whole episode, then I genuinely believe you're meant to be here. And I want you to embark on this journey of being a healthy, healed individual because you could chase dominance. You can demonize women. You can demonize men. You can adopt whatever ideology feels empowering to you in the moment. But remember this, if you're looking for reality and if you're looking to be a genuine person, real strength is not dominance. Real strength is discipline for women or for men in general. Real modesty is not paranoia. It is dignity and protection. Real protection is not controlled. It is responsibility. And again, to remind you, most importantly, if your world view makes you fearful, more suspicious, more angry, it's not guiding you. It's just protecting your ego. And that is a wonderful intro to season two. This is the season where we dismantle system. So if this episode resonated with you, you can share it. And I would love if you share it with people that could benefit from this. Send me a DM token of appreciation. I welcome here. I do like to be given my flowers, not in an egotistical way, but it does make me feel good about this mission. And as per usual, I do love you guys. Make sure you answer those questions today and try to figure out, are you being protected by a wounds and you are hiding, being an avoidant? Or are you willing to embrace vulnerability so you can grow into a healthier version and lead a more purposeful life? I love you all and I'll see you in the next episode.