Mel Robbins: The Power of Saying No, Changing Your Money Mindset, & The Busyness Addiction

If you're starting a business, there are certain things that are so fun to think about. Y'all know I love a mood board, so everything that relates to the creative, the name, the brand, the website, the vision board. But then there are the things that make you pause and ask, am I even doing this correctly or do I even want to be doing this? Like forming your business, getting the right documents, keeping your personal information private. This is where our sponsor at Northwest Registered Agent is so helpful. They're a one-stop shop for founders who want to launch and legitimize their business without turning it into a giant admin spiral. They help you form an LLC or a corporation, act as your registered agent, and give you tools like a business address, operating agreement, website, phone number, professional email, and free guides. They also have real corporate guides who know your local laws. 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You shouldn't be available 24-7. You just douched yourself with things that don't matter. Do you want a towel? Probably. People know me as an author or podcast host or the CEO of a global media business, but I was 41 years old and $800,000 in debt. You don't forget what that feels like. Money is power that allows you to leave a relationship. You do not need somebody else to buy you the designer handbag. There are so many stupid idiots out there making money. If you look up and it's 2031, do you actually like where your life is leading you? Because nobody's going to come and change your life, but nobody's stopping you from changing your life either. And so if you want to be successful, the most important word that you need to learn is Hi, angels. Did you know that subscribing to our channel is free? It doesn't cost you anything, and it is the simplest way for you to support Hot, Smart, Rich, and help us grow so that we can bring you more of the conversations you love. Just hit the subscribe button below and thank you. In case you missed it, you're allowed to be hot, smart, and rich. So let's get into it. Mel Robbins, are you ready to get hot, smart, rich? I am not only ready, I am hot, smart, and rich. And I'm here because my intention is that as you listen or watch right now, you are going to say to yourself, this is exactly what I needed. And you're going to get the encouragement and the one takeaway that you needed at this exact moment to be able to make that change, to be able to embody hot, smart, rich. This is why you make the time to listen and to watch this video. And I'm going to give you a little bit of time to the show. That's what we're here to do. That was actually going to be one of my first questions to you because you're Mel Robbins. When my team got an email that you wanted to come on this show, I couldn't tell if it was someone playing a prank on me or if it was a mistake. I was like, Mel Robbins doesn't live in Los Angeles. She's here for a finite period of time and she is making the effort and the plan to come on this show. And I have to ask you, as someone that has endless choices, how do you decide where you're going to spend your time and what it actually means when you choose to do a behavior based on having so many options? Okay. I'm going to answer your question two ways. So first of all, thank you. Thank you for telling me that. Thank you for telling me that you were excited and that your team was excited. I am a person that lives by the power of intention. This is something that I learned way back in the day from Oprah Winfrey, who learned it with Zukav, who wrote Seed of the Soul. And in life, we think a lot about cause and effect. We think about the fact that our actions and the ways that we think cause outcomes. But before your action, there is an intention. There is a reason why you do anything. And so if I want to answer this in the micro, the reason why I'm here is because I love what you're doing. I love empowering women. The age group that you're speaking to, especially women in their 20s and their 30s and their early 40s, you are the future of this planet. You're the future of business. You are the leaders of your family. You have so much power. And so my mission in life is to encourage people and to provide people with the tools and resources that they need to be able to create a better life. And if you and I can join forces and we can speak directly into the minds and hearts of 20, 30, and 40-year-old women and tell you unequivocally that you have the power to change your life, you have the power to change your bank account, you are smarter than you're giving yourself credit, and you got to wake the hell up and start getting serious about what you want out of life. And so I said yes to you because we are very aligned in wanting to empower people. And so many young women look up to you. So many young women make time to listen to this show because you want to listen to something that's going to help you be smarter, that's going to help you change your habits, that's going to help you create a better life. And so we are completely aligned. In terms of the larger question, which is how do I make decisions about spending time? I think a lot about how one of the most important things, and I talked to my daughter, so I also have daughters who are 27 and 26. It's very important to think about input and output. And we have all kinds of ways to track all kinds of habits in life, right? Whether it's your sleep habits or the number of steps that you take or the macros or the calories that you've burnt or whatever else. But really tracking your time, your energy, and your attention, and where you're going to put output and where you're going to allow input. So for me, when I'm thinking about where do I want to put my time, where do I want to put my energy, it has to be aligned with something that is either important to me or that is aligned with the values and the mission that I have. If you want to be successful and happier in life, the most important word that you need to learn is no. And as women, what you need to understand is you will be more successful and you will have more joy and you will have more power in your life the more you say no. And the hard part about saying no isn't the word. It's managing the feelings you have about somebody's reaction. So to me, I don't do it unless it's a hell of a deal. I don't do it unless it's a hell of a deal. I don't do it unless it's a hell of a yes. And it's only a hell of a yes if it's aligned with what I'm up to and what I believe in or aligned with somebody that I respect like you. Otherwise, it's an absolutely not no. Is it still uncomfortable for you to say no or how? No. No. I don't owe anybody anything. I owe myself everything. The first time that you realized the power of that word, can you take me back to that situation? I don't know if I know the first time actually. Because, you know, there are going to be times in your life, particularly when you're building a business or you're changing your career, where there are realities to the day-to-day of your life. There are times where you have to take a job that you hate because you have bills to pay. There are times where you are going to take a deal or sign a contract that you're going to regret later because you need the money now and you need the opportunity now. And that doesn't mean you're a dummy. It means that you understand that right now the priority is I need a certain amount of money to keep doing this thing. I need a certain amount of money in order to be able to pay my bills. But there will come a time where it is critical for you to start to understand what is the kind of agreement that you want to make with somebody else or a business or a brand or a job that you want to accept that you start to recognize that you don't want to be in a situation, this is kind of one of my fundamental rules, that you don't want to be in a situation where you don't want to be in a situation where around business. Don't ever sign a deal you're going to regret in success. Never. Always play the long game. Because if you're not willing to bet on yourself, if you're not willing to bet on your own capabilities, if you're not willing to bet that you've got the ability through your effort and your attitude to be able to figure things out and create value, then don't even bother trying. Here's where I remember it starting to happen. So I spent a period of my life in the corporate world doing a tremendous amount of corporate speaking and And I became the most booked female speaker in the world, speaking at massive corporate events. And it was an incredible way to make a living. And I remember that I loved it, loved it, loved it, loved it. And then there came a time where I started to hate the thing that I used to love. And it's important for you to pay attention to these feelings in your body, the friction that you feel. Like I used to love to get on a plane because I was making money and I felt like it was making a difference and it was helping me pay off the liens on my house. And I felt really good about the work that I was doing and the impact that it was making. And so I would be like, yes, yes, yes. And then I started to notice that I was dreading getting on the plane. I started to notice. That the things that I used to love started to make me just feel like, oh, you know, I'm missing my kid's soccer game again. Oh, I don't really know if I want to go to Omaha and stay at a Marriott courtyard and eat like the breakfast in the lobby. I mean, go talk to a bunch of realtors and I need the money and I want to do it. And when you start to feel that dread about a job or a relationship, that's your body telling you something is no longer aligned. And the thing isn't. It's not going to change. You have to change. And so one of my early memories of saying no is I was starting to, we'd gotten the liens off the house. We had stabilized our income. We were out of a free fall. So I didn't need to say yes. And I remember saying to the person that was booking these speeches for me, no, I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to take it. And he said, why? I said, well, first of all, it's not enough money. And second, this is a speech on a Saturday. And I'm no longer doing speeches on Saturdays because I'm going to keep missing my kids like soccer games. And I'm starting to feel like a terrible mom. And I realize a lot of guys don't necessarily deal with this. They're traveling for work. But for me, I was starting to feel a lot of conflict about the amount I was traveling for work and what I was missing out on at home. And so I said, no, I've got new rules. I am not going to speak on a Friday and I'm not going to speak on a Monday because I am not traveling. I'm not going to be traveling anymore over the weekends. I need to be home. And what was interesting is I thought that people would then go, oh, she's not available. What happened instead is people would be like, oh, well, would she speak Thursday? And I didn't even think that was an option. Oh, if she doesn't want to speak, would she speak if we double the fee and we fly her home on the corporate jet? Like, that's an option? And you don't know what is possible until you say no to the thing that you've always said yes to. And all the cheesy sayings are so true that you cannot open up a door if your hand is still gripping to the other one. And here's what I've thought a lot about when it comes to saying. And I imagine that there's some anthropologist who's studied this. But I personally believe, especially as a woman, when you say no, you say, no, I'm not available. They'll double the fee. When you say no, I'm not interested in you. That person's more interested. When you say no, I'm not going to do some influencer deal for a brand I don't even use. I don't care. I'm not willing to do that. Oh, well, would you do it this way? When you say no, you start to bump into. You start to bump into deeper reservoirs of your power and your value that other people see, but you have taken for granted. In fact, I'm going to tell you a story about the very beginning of being a keynote speaker. So I kind of stumbled into keynote speaking. I had given a TEDx talk that ended up kind of going viral. I didn't know that normal people got paid to give speeches. I thought you had to be a celebrity or a former athlete or some. You know, bestselling author. So I give this talk. It starts to take off online. People start to ask me if I will come and speak. And this is a very important lesson. If you're early in launching a business and you don't know how to price things, I'm going to give you the tool for how to price something. If you don't know what to charge, because you will under freaking charge yourself all day long. I mean, haven't you done that? All the time. Yeah. I was starting and now I'm starting to get to the point of where you're talking about. Yes. And it feels good. And by the way, you have to go through this. Yeah. Because if you roll in and you're brand new at something and you've got this giant ego and you think you can demand some big thing, people are going to think you're an asshole and you haven't earned the right yet. And so I'm one of these people that I really love people that just put in the work, that you're the kind of person that you don't care what your title is. You don't care whose job it is. You will do what needs to get done because that's the right thing to do. And so I start getting asked. This was 2012. I start getting asked because this little talk that I gave started to go viral. I start getting asked to speak at women's conferences. And I'm just thrilled. Like at this point, I'm working at CNN. My husband and I, who had had a lot of financial problems, we're starting to pay our bills. Like we feel like our head's above water. I'm a legal analyst. We're CNN. Very respectable, even though people don't know that I have liens on my house. And we got three kids under the age of 12 at this point. And so I'm like going to these women's conferences. I'm riding the ham track. Oh, my God. I'm going to the conference. I get to go to the conference. And you get to the convention center and there's 14,000 women there. And they're like so amazing if you've ever been to one because you've got these incredible women up on the main stage. And you're like, oh, my God, there's Oprah Winfrey. There's this person. There's that person. And then there's breakout rooms. And so I would be in a breakout room. Like, you know, if you've ever been to a convention center, you have to wear sneakers because you're walking all the way down to the end of the hall. Right. And it's like 10,000 steps. And I'm on the second floor all the way down room 217E5. And so I just loved it because I love being in the company of women. And it's like, oh, my God, there's so many women out there who realize that we have so much more that we want to create an experience in our lives. We are not here to be somebody's daughter or wife or girlfriend. We are here to make the world a better place and to leave people that we come in contact with feeling better as we make the world a better place. That's what we do. We create life. We like we have. I love. I love being around women in that conversation. So. I do like six or seven of these things. And it never even occurred to me. That's a good pick. Didn't even occur to me. So you did it for free. Yes. Oh, yes. Because I'm just like a person that's given a talk and I didn't have a book. I didn't like here. I'm also in my private life. And I don't want to be in my private life, but I'm going to be in my private life and I'm going to be in my private life and I'm going to be in my private life. I'm going to be in my private life and I'm going to be in my private life and I'm going to be in my private life and I'm going to be in my private life. I'm going to be in my private life and I'm going to be in my private life. something. You're taking a risk on yourself, and you're pretending that you have it all together. And internally, you're questioning everything which can really make you feel like you're not worth the value that you deserve in the market. And those are two different things, how you feel about yourself in the moment versus what you're worth and your time and your energy and your expertise and your just capacity is worth being paid for. And so this is what I said to myself. I said, okay, the next time someone calls me because I don't know what to charge, I'm simply going to say, I think I'm available. What's your budget? And then I'm going to pause, and this is the important part. Pause and say, normally I'm double. And wait. Two weeks later, the phone rings, and it was a gentleman named Darren Powell. And Darren was, he had a whole parallel track. This is like a big, like, God wink, universe converging story. His wife was working for a company that was hiring a speaker, and Darren used to be in that business. So she asked him if he would call this woman who's been going viral on Facebook and see if she would come give a speech at J. Hilburn, the men's custom store. And he said, yeah, I'm going to call this woman who's been going viral on Facebook and see if she would come give a speech at J. Hilburn, the men's custom suit company, MLM, right? Direct selling. And he called, and I picked up the phone, and he says, is this Mel Robbins? Oh, yeah, this is Mel Robbins. Listen, we have a company in Dallas looking for a keynote speaker. A lot of fans of yours have seen your thing. Would you be willing to come down to Dallas and give a speech in August? And, you know, I, like, pretend I'm, like, making a paper. And I'm, like, yeah, okay. Yeah, I think I could make that work. What's your budget? $10,000. I dropped the phone. That was three months mortgage on a house that had liens on it. I forgot the second part. I forgot to say normally I'm double. I picked up the phone, and I was like, oh, my God, okay. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Now, there's a couple key takeaways here. I felt so unworthy of that money that I did something that you have to do in life and business. You really want to make an impression, prepare. Prepare. And, yes, look at the notes. The amount of notes I have for this interview. Yeah, prepare. Because you never know when your moment is going to come at bat. You never know when the universe is going to toss that pitch. All I know is you better be ready when it comes. And so, because I felt so unworthy of $10,000 back in 2013, I felt so unworthy of $10,000 back in 2013. I felt so unworthy of $10,000 back in 2013. I spent half of the money on a graphic designer to make a presentation with me, and it was the best thing I could have done because it forced me to prepare. So, when I stepped up on that stage and I delivered that speech, I smoked it. It was one of the best performances I had ever done in my entire life because I was ready. And Darren came up to me. I said, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. And he came up to me afterwards and he said, Mel, I've been in the keynote business my entire life. You are by far the best female speaker I have ever seen and arguably top two or three in the world of everybody. And he said, who runs your business? And I said, you do. And he has run my speaking side of my business ever since. Wow. Yes. I'm going to hold your hand when I say this. You do not need to make marketing so hard for yourself. And I say this because I speak to founders day in, day out, and one thing that's become abundantly clear to me is that most entrepreneurs find building their businesses from scratch easier than marketing them. That's wild to me. We started using Stanley a little while back for Hot Smart Rich. And I'm not just saying this because they are our sponsors and I absolutely love the founder, John, but it's genuinely made growing the business so much easier and fun because you can think of Stanley as your AI head of content. You just connect your social page and Stanley learns your tone. So when you give it a task like write me a caption or build me a content calendar, it gets straight into the work without you having to handhold. It's great. You've already built a business. So let Stan help it to get seen. Head over to stan.com to start making your marketing easier. Now that's stan.com to make your marketing easier. 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Ask your doctor about ebglis and visit ebglis.com or call 1-800-LILLY-RX or 1-800-545-5979. you know a browser but gemini and chrome that's new it can help you with practically anything on the web like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50 page restoration block or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks gemini and chrome is here for it ready to make anything online make sense there's no place like chrome check responses set up required compatibility and availability varies 18 plus tammy regularly hauls stuff to her kids at college that's why she shops at bj's wholesale club saving up to 25 percent off grocery store price is beef jerky microwave meals laundry pods even they can't screw up have you met my kids and with bj's gas she gets there for less they call me the road warrior this is your home road warrior mom home of the save join for just twenty dollars at bjs.com mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months open soon limited time offer new members only bj's home of the save new pod sex you know this is the other thing that i think is important is when people come into your life something pay attention because what i see a lot of people doing is they get very greedy when things start to work and they devalue loyalty you forget about the people that were there at the beginning and that helped you build and i see a lot of people start to build something and then want to really drive down the commission people make or they want to devalue what the person's doing but there's going to be people if you're building something that are part of the build and it's important to recognize that loyalty does matter if you want to have a very very long-standing career now that doesn't mean that you're not going to have to weed out the greedy toxic people they're going to come your way too but i'm very proud of the fact that you know that is how it all began and that's still the person that runs everything for me i'm not that side of the business i'm so interested in that mel because i think that there's a lot of women that listen to this show that are in actually a big growth mode they made their first 250 500 million dollars they're building these businesses how do you know if the people that you have around you right now that have been with you from the beginning are the same people that will get you to the next phase of growth i love that you're saying this because i am saying to my team right now what made us successful in 2025 does not work in 2026 and what made us successful this year in 2026 is not going to make us successful in 2027 and if i were to sit down anybody that works for me and I were to ask you, what do you think my job is? They would probably be able to describe 3% of what I do. My job as the CEO is always changing. People look at me and think I'm an author or podcast host. That's 5% of what I actually do. I am a CEO of a global media business that's making a positive impact in 194 countries right now. I own everything that I do. Coming back to how do you evaluate because you're right, one of the hardest things about scaling is that the people that you begin with will only take you so far. Then there's going to come a time, and in fact, I'm in the middle of this process in my company right now. I can unpack that more, but it's a painful process because you have to look. at what you're doing, why you're doing it, and what skills and expertise do you need in order to get you where you want to go next. The hardest thing you will ever face, whether you are building your own thing or you are a leader inside of an organization, is having extraordinary people working for you who are wonderful and kind-hearted and hardworking, but they do not have the skills to help you get where you need to go. I think about it this way because I believe a couple fundamental things. I believe most people want to do well. When people can't do well in a job, it's not lack of intent most of the time. It is a lack of skills. It is a broken process. It's a lack of clarity. If I break down the way that I think about things in running a company is I'm always looking for points of friction. So where is it in your day-to-day job or in the company that you're building where you just have internal agita? Where is it? Is it in the social media production? Is it in the contract negotiation? Is it in the fulfillment and the shipping? Is it in the local geo-tagging search result strategy that you can't seem to get to? Where is the friction? Because as the founder, as the leader of the team, you can sense when things aren't going well. And then when I can make a list of all the things in my business that are driving me crazy or that cause me frustration or that I just know we can and should be doing this differently, first of all, I don't think I'm the one that can solve it. My job as the CEO is to identify the things that are going wrong. And then when I can make a list of all the things that are going wrong, I can identify all the points of friction. Then I go to the next column, which is, okay, these are all the things that aren't working or they don't feel the way I want them to feel. Now let's go to the next column. And I ask myself, is it a process issue? Because if you don't have the right tech, if you have too complicated of a process, I don't care how good the people are. They're not going to be able to do the job well. So is it a process issue? Is it a issue of people? Do you have good people that are willing to learn, but they don't have the skills for where things are now? And can you solve that by bringing in somebody that has the expertise that can then train this? Or are you looking at a painful situation where you just need people that have an entirely different set of expertise? And those are two very different problems. And you ask yourself, is it a process issue? Is it a process issue? Is it a problem? You also have to ask yourself, is this a problem that needs to be solved right now because it's on fire and this business is going to implode? Or is this a problem that my business partner, who's also my sister-in-law, she's a genius. She's our CFO and our COO. And she was the CFO of a much, much, much larger company for 19 years before she joined this company. She always says, there are parts of your business that we can operate under, the rule of do no harm. They're not killing it. It's not impressing you. It may just be limping along with a broken process and not a lot of skilled leadership there and a bunch of people bumping into each other. But it's not important right now. So can you tolerate this aspect of things just being a C-plus? Because there are other aspects of your business that require your attention. And so to me, that's the matrix that I look at to start to untangle, okay, any point of friction. If it's not working for you as the founder or the leader of the team, that's a problem because you're going to then bring your negative energy to everything that's happening and people are going to feel it. And your leadership style is going to become, I'm afraid of mom because mom's mad. And the second thing then is look at every point of friction and go, do I have a process? Do I have a people person problem? Or, and this is the bigger one, do we have a problem with clarity about what's important? And I think this nine times out of 10 is the issue that most people are struggling with. That in today's world, the secret to success is simplicity. That if you can't start your day and if your team can't start the day by going, this is the singular most important thing that we make progress on, then they're working on everything and nothing at the same time. Because if everything is of equal importance, nothing is actually important in your business. And your job as the CEO, number one, is to define what is actually important. And number two, it's to get behind everybody and build the systems and the process and put in the training so that people can actually do their jobs. If you're listening to this and you're one of those people that wakes up and has no idea what they're working on every single day, doesn't feel like their job is simple at all. There's bad mom, there's mean mom, and they just feel so confused and so lost on how to make progress in their job. What strategies would you tell that person tomorrow to go to their boss and say it in a way where they can find a solution versus being a problem? It's a great question. I'm glad you said go to your boss. So I would make a list of absolutely everything that you currently have on your plate. And I would walk into your boss's office and I would just say, hey, do you got five minutes? I just need some help focusing on what the strategic priority is this week. Hell, today. Here are the 19 things happening right now. And what is the single most important thing I should be working on? That's number one. Number two, what is the most important thing that would actually help you if I got it done? Because the more you align what you're focused on with the bigger objective this week for the company, and the more you're aware of what pain points to solve for your boss, you will become indispensable. And most bosses are horrendous at clarifying what's actually important. And part of the reason why is we are all under an avalanche of Slack DMs and of texts and of Zoom meetings, and nobody has time to get work done. And so it's just input, input, input, input, input. And I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to input, input, input, input, input. Oh, my God, I don't even know what to do. And everybody at work can just Slack you shit, and now they think it's off their plate, and you haven't even opened up the other 75 things. We actually just did an analysis of Slack in our company as part of this change management process. 89% of Slack messages were DMs, not public channels, not threads, DMs. And so one of the things that you could do is you could also, in addition to talking to your boss, you could clean up the way people are using tech because it's killing your team. Killing your team. You could change the meeting culture. Like this comes back to saying no. Do you actually need to be in all the meetings or can you send somebody on your team? Does this even need a meeting? And if you're in the leadership position, it starts with you. If you're a go-getter in your 20s and your 30s, I'm going to tell you the secret. You're going to hate hearing this. Be the first one in, be the last one out. Why do people hate to hear that? Well, you got to decide you want a job or a career. What is the difference? A job gives you a paycheck. A career gives you a runway to take off. I have a lot of people that work for me that have a job and they look at it like a job. And I can very clearly tell who actually sees this as a career. And the difference is you understand something of value. Well, there's value in every job. Every single job you have, particularly the ones that you hate, teach you something critical about success, about leadership, about money, about human dynamics, about sales, about marketing, about product testing, every single job. And you can practice showing up with incredible energy and focus and intention in every job. And it pays so many dividends. But if you're just kind of showing up and you're resentful of being challenged or you're, if you, you know, are going to work late or, have to work on the weekend, then you want a job that matches your lifestyle. If you want a career that is going to launch you into something else, then you show up very differently. You understand that proximity to the person that is running the company is everything. Proximity to your boss is everything. Inserting yourself, solving problems, these are the skills that advance your career. Like a lot of us think that the skills are something else. Oh, I got to learn AI and do all this stuff. That makes you a coder over there. And that's an important thing to learn. But if you're the kind of person that can see problems and you just step in and solve them, you're indispensable. You will always, always, always be somebody's right-hand person until you become your own right-hand person. It makes me laugh because I remember when I first graduated school, I went to work at Salesforce and I earned a lot of money right out of school. I earned like double what my friends were earning. But I hated it because it was a job. I clocked in, I clocked out. I felt no emotional connection to what I was doing. And when I went to my first startup, I legitimately cut my salary in half for half the amount of what I was making, but with equity and real purpose and mission in what I was doing. And that was when I was like 24, 25, that company ended up going public. I reported to the CEO because to me that was a career, whereas Salesforce was a job. I see value in both. But I think a lot of people that are listening to this, a question I get all the time is the uncertainty that they feel about what they actually want to do. You don't need to know what you want to do. You're not supposed to know what you want to do. I have had like 19 career changes since I was 20 years old. I went to law school. I was a public defender. I worked in a large law firm. I then jumped into the first tech boom in 1999, working in a marketing content tech company. Then I jumped to another one a marketplace that connected creators to advertising agencies. Then I went to an advertising agency and did business development and account management. Then I started a business and life coaching business. Then I hosted a reality TV show that never aired. Then my life went to shit when my husband opened up a restaurant and we almost lost all of our money. Then I got a call in a radio show. And here's, there's two types of people in life. There are people that are like an arrow to a target. You come out of the womb and you know you want to be a doctor. And it's just in your DNA. And then there's the rest of us. You don't have a clue. But the way that you figure it out is understanding that everything you do, every job that you've ever had, is the way that you're going to be. And that's the way that you're going to be. And that is leading you to the thing that you will feel fulfilled by. And here's the real twist. Even when you find the thing you're fulfilled by, guess what? At some point after doing it for two or three years or five years, you're going to be like, I don't think I like this anymore. If you're the kind of person that needs to figure it out by experience, you have the opportunity to grow and change your entire life. And I'd love to kind of frame where we're at in the world right now because the world that I grew up in is very different if you are starting your career or you're in your career in your 20s and 30s. Like the old world was static. And you were rewarded if you had the knowledge. You were rewarded if you had expertise and that gave you ability. And the old world worked based on who you know. That's not the world we live in. The world we live in right now is dynamic. It is always going to be changing. And what's great about that is 50% of the people, actually maybe 90% of the people are paralyzed by the amount of change. You know what that means? There is absolutely nobody in your way but you. And so if you can wrap your brain around the fact that the new rules are this. Information is everywhere. Having information is actually not the value. It's being able to see through all the information and connect the dots and see the singular thread and spot the patterns. Being somebody that can look through the noise where everything's important. No, it's not. That's important. That's a superpower. The second thing, it's not ability and expertise necessarily. It's flexibility. Because everything is changing. Everything is changing. Unless you are a chemist or a medical doctor or a nuclear scientist or a profession that demands and should have credentialing and professional licenses. And there are lots of professions like that. For the rest of us, it's about flexibility. That's the skill. And the third thing, it's no longer who you know, it's who knows you. Who knows you. And if you are putting your head down and you're staying silent, you're hoping somebody notices what you're doing and promotes you because you show up every day and you work really hard, nobody knows what you're doing. Are you good at talking about your contributions? Are you good at expressing your ideas? Are you good at putting yourself out there? Because in today's world, it's who knows you, not who you know. we wouldn't be here if I hadn't started doing that. I wouldn't know Mel Robbins had I not started posting online and talking about the things that I know. But I haven't stopped thinking about this since you said it actually a little bit of time ago. But there was a woman who came up to you that asked you about the paycheck. And I think what I can't stop thinking about and why I'm so happy you talk about money and like that moment for you is that women are taught not to talk about things like that. I was thinking, wow, how brave is that woman to come up and ask you, and what are you getting paid for this? Because that is such a thing in society that we tell women, do not talk about money. Do not tell people how much your salary is. Do not share any of that information. If you were to tell women one thing about how they should start thinking and talking about money with people in their lives to normalize the conversation and gain the skills to be able to do that, what would that be? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. to do it with someone they're negotiating with or with a new boss, what's the one takeaway you would have about women and how they treat and think and talk about money? Well, I can only speak about myself personally. Yeah. And I'll tell you what I tell my daughters. Make your own damn money. Money is power. Money is freedom. Money allows you to leave a relationship. It allows you to leave a job. It allows you to move. It allows you to be in control of your life. If you got off your phone and you stopped scrolling online and you stopped making yourself feel miserable by comparing yourself to everybody else and you took your time and your attention back and you got serious about learning about money and how to make it, how to save it, how to invest it, how to be smart about it. There's nothing sexy about being a business owner. There's nothing dumb about money. And it is the most important thing that you can do because it gives you choices. It gives you control. It gives you power. It is no longer sexy or cute to be like, hi, I don't have any money. No, not in today's world. And so number one, I want women to get serious about money as a tool and money as an important pillar that gives you power. And so number one, I want women to get serious about money as a tool and money as an instrument that gives you the things that traditionally women have been socialized into thinking that's what your marriage is going to give you. When you have money, when you understand money, when you're smart about money, you have power and control over your life. And so that's number one. Change your mindset about it. Second thing would be is you're already doing it. You're listening to a podcast like this. What's so exciting about today's world is there's so much to do. And so number one, I want women to get serious about money as a tool and money as an no way should you set yourself up like that because that means you've given power to another person and no one should have power over you but you. And to me, number one, understand that money is power. Number two, start to educate yourself. Continue to listen to podcasts like this. Talk to other women that are building something, that are ambitious. Because when you're around people like that, we do talk about money. We do talk about sales funnels. We do talk about. And there are lots of places that you can go, whether it's online communities or it is in-person events where you can educate yourself about this. And one of the things that I would do, even though I kind of was dinging AI in the corner, get educated about AI. Because there is an absolute gold rush happening right now of women in particular learning how and teaching themselves how to build businesses online using these tools, which wasn't possible 20 years ago. To me, it starts with you. It starts with you actually wanting to. And this is kind of one of my core beliefs. I think one of the reasons why most people stay stuck, and I know I stayed stuck for decades because I couldn't answer this question. What do I want? What do you want? If you have not answered the question, what do I want? You are basically hoping your life turns out. That is a really sad way to go through this one remarkable life that you have. I really want women in particular to wake up and to ask that question of themselves every year, every single year on my birthday. I go through an audit. I look through my photos. I go back through the entire year through my photos. I write all the highs and lows. I compare it to the list I made last year. What did I accomplish? What did I experience? What trips did I take? Who did I see? And then I ask myself, what do I want in the next year? Because if you don't stop, and create the space to get intentional about what you want in your life, you're not getting it. And to me, it's the most important gift that you could give to yourself. Because you don't often think about this fact. Like, think about this. The life that you're in right now, the job that you're in right now, the relationship that you're in right now, where you live right now, it's a path. You may not like it. You may like parts of it. But have you ever stopped and considered that if you roll the clock forward five years, it's going to be 2031, and let's say things go okay at your job. Let's say things are okay in your relationship. And if the answer is yes, great. Keep going. But if there are parts of your life that you don't like, 2031, my God, I don't know. No, absolutely. Then do something. And when you can get clear about what you want your life to look and feel like, what you want your career to look and feel like, what you want your bank account to look like. I mean, just imagine what it would be like if you opened up your bank account and there was a million dollars there. Imagine that. And imagine that you were the one that earned it. How would that feel? And I say to my daughters all the time, it's not going to happen this year. But if that's what you really want, that kind of security, that kind of like pride in yourself, that kind of, oh my God, I figured it out. I can do cool stuff for my family. Wow. Don't you think if you gave it 10 years, you could figure it out? Don't you think if you gave it a decade, you're smarter than me? through your effort and your actions to make whatever you decide and you can envision? Of course you can. But we don't stop and give ourselves permission to say, what do I actually want? Not what society's told me, not what my folks have told me, not what, you know, my girlfriends are doing. What do I want? That's where it starts. And it starts with money. What do you want? Hot Smart Rich isn't just the name of this podcast. It's a lifestyle. Let me explain. I used to actually lack the motivation to work out until I got addicted to the feeling of what it felt like once I was done, just moving my body. However, to help me get there, I really needed to change exactly what I was going to wear to make myself get excited about getting into the gym and moving my body. When I look my best, I feel more confident, a slick high pony, a little lip gloss, and the right gym fit. Like our sponsor, Lululemon's new license to train set made with innovative Everlux material. This set is super soft, sweat wicking and supportive, meaning it can keep up when training gets tough. 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EBCLIS is a prescription medicine used to treat adults also called atopic dermatitis that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin or topicals or who cannot use topical therapies. EBCLIS can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you are allergic to EBCLIS. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with EBCLIS. Before starting EBCLIS, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection. Respect your time. Ask your doctor about EBCLIS and visit EBCLIS.com or call 1-800-LILLY-RX or 1-800-545-5979. EBCLIS.com or 1-800-LILLY-RX or 1-800-545-5979. And first I want to say something. There's the busyness that comes from being in a moment in your life that is due to the circumstances of your life. And, you know, we've all heard the metaphor of a chapter, but I do think it's really helpful when you think about your entire life as either a book or a movie. And right now, you are in a scene of your life. That's it. You're on page 117. And if it's ACOTAR, we know we got 600 more pages to go. So you got a long way to go. And if you're in a movie, you're in one of the scenes and like kind of the opening of the movie. That's all that this moment is. And so if you're feeling the busyness of like, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, I got to do it. And I can't do this. And I got to pay the bills. And then my roommates piss me off. And then I got to do this thing. And then my boss is mad. And then I didn't do this. And I got to do this thing. And then I got to do it. It might be because your mom's going through cancer. It might be because you are in a part of your career or at a job where it's just crazy ass demanding. And that's what life in this scene feels like. That's different than what a lot of us are experiencing in our day to day life. But we're not aware of it, which is a busyness that comes from a nervous system that has never actually flipped into a calm resting state. So what I want you to do if busyness and always being on and chronically being stressed and never having time for yourself resonates for you is, and I'm going to tell you right now, 0.5% of you will actually do this. And the 0.5% of you that do this will make more money. You'll be happier. You'll have a better life because you will be doing a skill that is necessary for you to take control of your life. And here it is. I do not want you to sleep with your phone. I want the phone, it can be on the other side of the room, but sleep and the pause and the space between you and the entire world is what you need to create. And your addiction and constant attachment to meaningless bullshit on your phone is destroying your ability to change your life. It's destroying your happiness. It's destroying your power. And there is a simple solution. It is to recognize what a problem this is. It is to recognize that you have become a tool in the algorithm. And it is to take back your attention and your time and your energy and understand that your attention and energy is the single most important thing to you. And it is to take back your attention and your time and your because where you put your attention and energy is where your life goes. And so you're going to put the phone on the other side of the room and I already know the objection, but what if my friend needs me? And what if this, okay, great. You got a job. Somebody needs, here's what you tell everybody. Don't slack me. Don't text me because I don't sleep with my phone. If it's an emergency, call me. Your friends will text you all kinds of bullshit drunk from the bar all night long. They will only call if it's an emergency. Then in the morning, what happens, and this is why this is so important. When the alarm goes off on your phone, it's not near you. It's not near you. So now you're forced to get out of bed and you are forced to give yourself this space. And in that space, this is the most important thing. You now get to choose what you do next. You get to choose if the news and social media and all the stuff going on at work, pollutes your brain, or you get to choose whether or not you are going to widen the space and you're going to set an intention for the day. You're going to create a routine that begins with you and your goals and your dreams and your power and your energy before you let all the idiots on that phone pollute your mind. And we all know this is true but we don't change anything. And you were sharing something with me before we got started about how, you know, an expert came on here and told you looking at your phone first thing in the morning is cheap. It makes you cheap. You are being used. Used. You're giving your most valuable thing that will make you rich, that is how you are smart, that makes you feel hot, the most valuable thing you've got, your attention, first thing in the morning when it's most important, to meaningless crap. And now you wonder why you have no purpose in your life. Because you literally laid in bed like this, right? You know, you laid in bed and I'll give you the thing and I'll even do a little demonstration here. I don't want this one. It's like crap. You know what I mean? It's like that's what's on your phone. Negative crap. Right there. And now you wonder why do I have anxiety? Why do I hate my job? Because you started the day by allowing things that don't matter and that actually make you feel terrible into your brain. And for the rest of the day, you're playing catch up. And here's what I'm going to tell you. Your dreams, your mental health, your confidence, your sanity, your goals, your money, it deserves a lousy five to 20 minutes before you pick up the phone. Everybody can wait. But if you don't make this change, your dreams and your power and your success will always wait because you prioritize something else. And it's stupid. Stupid. First of all, do you want a towel? Probably. Okay, Bob, towel, production, production. I'm obsessed with you, first of all. Well, like, you know, I do that because it's funny. But when you see the water like that represents, it's not meaningless. And until you see it, you don't really go, wow, it's true. And you can't trust yourself. If you're an alcoholic, you should not sleep next to a bottle of tequila because you will grab it when you're not thinking. And so putting the phone away from my bed, it's been the biggest unlock ever because I can't trust myself either. In fact, as a CEO, one of the big changes that I've made is I never, ever have my phone on my body. Because if it's on my body, I will look at it. And if it is off my body, I use it when I need it. And you shouldn't be available 24-7. Because if you're available 24-7, you're cheap. If you value your time, you're not available to everybody at all times. And when you can text right back, when you're always available, it means you don't have anything important going on. You're training. You're training people to know that you're the go-to because you're always there for them to go to. And, you know, not when you can get around to it, but, oh, immediately, I got to get right back to people. It will change your life if you start to really protect your time and your focus. It changes your life. Can I just say that, too, to really hit the point home? Like, you're one of the most followed people in the world, and you don't even feel the need to do that immediately when you wake up. And I think that's what's important. What it brought to me was, over the last few days, I've been thinking, wow, I'm really not as important as I thought. Like, to the level where I was like, I'm so important. I'm so busy. And it's actually made me be like, everything works without me. And that's actually a beautiful thing. But I think going on the point of being one of the most followed people in the world, Mal, like, what I love about people like you, when they do, they build these businesses that are working, and it's working, and it's growing, and it's growing. And then they almost do something that no one expects. Which is what you did with Pure Genius Protein. I love when people that have a spotlight and a theater performance as large as you, that does something that's taking risk. Because I think it's so easy when you have success to just, like, not change anything. Like, things are working. Let's just keep doing this, but scale that. And when I see someone do something completely different and put themselves back in the arena of having the opportunity, to have challenges, to have struggle, to have failure, to have things they have to overcome again, I always question why. And I don't think that I've heard you publicly really talk about, as you're building Mel Robbins to be the brand that it is, why put yourself back in the arena to start an early stage brand and open yourself up to that level again? You know, it's interesting, because I feel like it's totally aligned. Like, if you think about what I'm doing with the podcast, my vision was really to create something that was helpful and encouraging to a normal person who is waking up today and they're exhausted and they're wanting to do better and feel better in their life. And they want that for their families, too. And, you know, I've talked about the word simplicity. Our show really is a show about life. And we shine a huge spotlight on researchers and researchers, but we do it not for them. We do it in service of the person who's listening, who wants to improve their life. And the thing about simplicity is it's very easy to make things complicated. It's super challenging to make something very simple. And I love solving problems. And I love making the things that make your life better, easier and more fun to do. And so the reason why I got involved in this, there's two reasons. The first one is and this should we take one? Yeah, we can absolutely take one. I'm going watermelon because I just am obsessed with watermelon. OK, now that what you're drinking is 23 grams of high quality protein. It's only 100 calories. There's no sugar. There's no fat. There is no artificial flavors. There's no artificial color. It is shelf stable. It's TSA approved. And it solves a big problem that I was having. And so there's two reasons why I wanted to get involved in this. Number one is if you want to run a business, I'm always a student of something before I step into it. Study the greats. If you want to step into business, study the ecosystem of the business. And so when you look at podcasting, there is only one person that understands the podcasting business as well as or better, than I do. And his name is Stephen Bartlett. And Stephen is a very, very good friend. But when you own your own show, when you produce your own show, when you syndicate your own show, when you understand that Spotify is a different business ecosystem than Apple and Apple's different than YouTube and YouTube's different than Netflix and Netflix is different than Amazon Music and you understand that those are business ecosystems. And in order to compete in those ecosystems, they're as different as trying to to sell a product in retail? As. You know, versus selling it online. Yeah. You know, versus direct to consumer versus Amazon versus from your website. These are all different ecosystems. And so I understand all this. I understand that the podcast space is monetized based on both downloads. So the size of the downloads of your show and the number of ads that are running on your show. And now that podcasts has become video, the advertising has become even bigger brands and more television commercial style stuff. So the business is changing before our eyes. And I am maniacally on top of it. I love this aspect of running this media business. I love all the innovation. I love the tech. I love the complexity. But one of the things that I noticed and Stephen said. And this is interesting in this because a lot of the advertising that runs on Stephen's show are companies that he has equity in. And the other thing that started to happen. And again, this is, you know, people always tell you, if you're thinking about starting a business, think about a problem that you have and how you could solve it. Or think about something that you love and what product could make you love it even more. And so many founder stories have this. I had a problem or there was a problem or there was a hole in the market and I was starting to look for this thing and it didn't exist. And so I started. I started to notice a bunch of things because I am a businesswoman. That's what I describe myself as. And I am a genius at spotting trends and a genius at slicing through the noise and seeing the simple thing that's right there. At the same time, I was starting to have a personal problem. And the personal problem is I had gone through menopause. I hated my body. I felt like I had a flesh fanny pack here and meat wings that wouldn't go anywhere. And I've always been a very active person. I ski. I hike. I do Pilates. I do yoga. I've run five marathons. Like, I'm like, go, go, go, go. I cook. We live in Vermont. We buy food at the farmer's market. Like, we are healthy, healthy. And I hated what was happening to my body. So all these experts start coming on the show. And I know this happens to you all the time, too, as you're interviewing somebody like, oh, my God, this is me. Oh, I need to do this. And the message was so clear. It's episode, I think it was 73. Dr. Amy. Dr. Amy Shaw came on and just started hammering protein and women and protein and fiber and that you have to eat more protein. And then another doctor came on and started talking about protein and women and hormone. And so I took the advice on my podcast. I said, OK, I'm going to go talk to my doctor, which I did. And my doctor said, I think you need like 130 grams of protein a day. Do you know how much protein that is? It's a lot. It's too much. I can't do it. Yeah. I can't do it. I can't do it. The calorie intake is too much. It's too much food prep. There's only so many shakes and meat sticks and bars that melt in your purse that a human being can deal with. It's calories. It's volume. It sits in your stomach like a brick. I already feel like I have a flesh fanny pack. I don't want that. And, you know, I would be standing in the fridge, opening the door, eating chicken from last night, you know, for breakfast because I'm trying to choke down protein. I'm making my eggs. And then I find out eggs only have six grams of protein. So all of a sudden this product gets sent to me and it was an earlier version of this. And getting protein into a shot formulation in a consistency that tastes like juice is nearly impossible. Nobody had done it. And this had actually originally been developed overseas as a product that trainers and a professional sports league had made. So that athletes could fuel themselves on the sidelines during a two to three hour soccer match. And if you stop and think about it, what do athletes have to fuel themselves during a long performance? Caffeine. And so they had developed this protein shot and one of my now founders had seen it and brought it to the U.S. and they worked on it for a year and then they brought it to me wondering if I would come on and let them advertise. And I took one sip of it and I was like, this is revolutionary. And the product as launch sucks. And it tastes like a liquid Jolly Rancher and it has all of this like artificial crap in it. And I cold called the founders and I said, I know that you're looking at the bodybuilder community for this and the sports community. I think you're missing the bigger picture. I've never, ever gotten involved in a product. If I'm going to do this, I have to. I have to be able to have the vote on everything. I need to change formulation. My first step is to be recruiting a world renowned medical board that I am going to handpick. And then I am going to the labs and I'm going to be involved with our world renowned medical, nutritional and scientific board. And we are going to change the formulation because I want people in chemotherapy and GLP-1s and I want pediatricians. I want anybody that is a medical. Professional to see this as an option for a normal person who's trying to get fuel. And it's having trouble just like I was. And the profile of the taste can't taste like candy. The ingredients have to work for a clinical setting. And they said yes. I want people to feel like a genius for reaching for this. I want people to feel like a genius for making. What if we called this pure genius? Because the idea is pure genius. And that's how I want you to feel. When in the middle of a busy life, you reach for something that's a better choice because you know running on fuel is better than running on fumes. I want you to feel like a genius when you put this in your kid's backpack because what else are they going to be eating after school to fuel up before sports practices? I want you to feel like a genius for reaching for something mid-afternoon because you need a little fuel, but you've already had breakfast and lunch and a snack and you don't want the calories. I don't want the extra calories, but I need the protein. And that gets me through the day and now I'm not a hangry bitch to my family. And so that's the origin. And then I said, and here's an even dumber idea. I think that our brand should be around vintage light bulbs because what is the actual symbol of a great idea? It's a light bulb. I had no idea. I am obsessed with that. Isn't that great? And the packaging all looks like vintage light bulbs. So that's the launch story, but there's so much that we've learned. Oh my God, the hard way. Not about the product, it's the packaging that was really hard. It's the hardest thing to sell for direct-to-consumer retail. The eye level of everything is crazy. But you want to know the hardest thing about this? And I would love everybody's ideas about this. The hardest thing about this product is it's the only. version of it. And it's a hard thing to market something small when it's in the aisle with things that are this big. So this might be next to a product that's three times the size. And your perception as a consumer is that the 23-gram protein shake that's 600 calories and 24 ounces is actually more valuable. When in fact this. This packs way more nutritional punch because 92% of the calories come from protein. And since this isn't everywhere yet, I mean, we've only been out since January. We had a million dollar launch and sold out like in two and a half days. We're about to roll out our first product, new product, which is protein and fiber. And I'm excited because CVS is carrying a point of sale. Like my vision, remember how I said you got to have the courage to have a vision? My vision is that this replaces the five-year-old. Mel Robbins, what is the last possible thing you just put on your credit card? I don't know because my daughters took it out of my wallet and I asked them this morning for it back. They're here with me in Los Angeles. I'm obsessed with them. Okay, what's the last most expensive thing you put on your credit card? Maybe this necklace. Okay. This is a Herkimer. They call it a Herkimer diamond, but it's a particular quartz that only grows in Herkimer, New York. It has magical powers. I'm convinced of it. I put it out in the moon to clear its energy every full moon. And these are also Herkamers. And this necklace is a. It's basically a car. Not this. This thing's probably like 200 bucks, but this necklace is extremely expensive. Obsessed. Okay. Something you hate to spend money on? Clothing. Okay. I really. Part of the aspect of this job, as I've become more and more public, is the kind of public appearances. Right. you can steam them in a hotel at night and they look great on a jumbotron and you can fit a mic pack. And so I'm kind of a uniform person. I love that, by the way. And it's something I'm jealous of Steven about, like black t-shirt. He doesn't have to think about it. So I wish we could do that. But I'm trying to lean into like loosening up and being more fashionable. My daughters are really pushing me, but I don't like to spend money on clothes. Yeah. Just please don't change the glasses because they're so you. I'm obsessed. I actually watched your TED Talk last night and I was like, wow, it's so weird. That's a 21 minute long panic attack. That's the first speech I've ever given. You can see the chest rest a minute in and I didn't even mean to say the five second rule in it. That I forgot how to end the speech. That's crazy. Finish this sentence, Mel Robbins. I know I'm stressed if I'm spending money on. Oh, I know I'm stressed when I'm spending money on my third martini. I always stop at two. I love that. Okay. Because we glamorize young entrepreneurs so much, I'm really excited for your answer. What age did you stop worrying about money? Maybe 54. Because when you are 41 years old and you're $800,000 in debt, you're going to lose your house and you have no job. Most people know me because of what I've built. In the last three and a half years in my late fifties. And most people don't understand that at 52, even though I had all this experience, I was unemployed. I was starting over in a new place. I had no idea what was going to happen in the world. I just knew that nobody was going to come and figure it out, but nobody was going to stop me either. And by God, I needed to figure out what I wanted in life next and then get to work building it. That's why I'm as passionate as I am because I know you can do it. I know that you're selling yourself short. I know that you are the one arguing against your dreams. You're the one talking yourself out of it. And instead of constantly going, what if this, what if that? I want you to go, what if it all works out? Because if you put your head down and get to work, it will. Yeah. The work works. Okay. Mel Robbins, last one. I do this on Instagram almost every day. It's called HSR Love Notes. It's basically a way to retrain. I have a very toxic brain. If you could only tell yourself one HSR Love Note for the rest of your life, what is it? I am so grateful that I get to experience this day. And today is going to be a good day because I'm going to make it a good one. Love that. Mel Robbins, thank you so much for coming on Hot Server Edge. I feel like I just blobbity, blobbity, blobbity. Did you get anything? You brought joy back into my life and I know you're going to help so many of the angels. So thank you so much. We love you. I love you too. Y'all know I love a mood board. So everything that relates to the creative, the name, the brand, the website, the vision board. 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