314: Meet Our New Baby Antonio

You made sure to shave, you made sure to trim shave, it's a big episode. I know, I know, I got hair under my neck. I should have cleaned myself up. I literally, I literally got a haircut for this. For the dude, this is such a big episode for me. Should I go shave real quick? No, we don't have time. No, dude, I'm gonna, no, I should, I should have done hair and makeup. Let me, let me see if I can. Just a little bit of a comedy show. Glamy's Glam team, they'll be, they'll be there in five minutes. Damn, yeah, it's an emergency. Dude, I know you're very exhausted, but dude, can I tell you how exhausted I am real quick before you get to your exhaustion? That would love to hear it. Bro, I just flew it, dude. So you know, I've been like a world traveler. It's passed like few weeks, we're pretty insane for the holidays. I just flew in yesterday just so we could film these episodes and then I'm right off. You're going, you're going back to Florida? No, no, I'm going Australia. Okay, we were having a outback time all fun in New Year's, you know what I'm saying? We're getting crazy. That'll be fun. Yeah, so and we'll get into all the, my world travel and stuff. And, but I, bro, I, it's so funny, I got home last night. And of course, I haven't seen, like Daniel's been home. She didn't go home for the holidays. If you guys don't know, yeah, Daniel is my roommate. She's been living with me for the past like three years. So she's like a little sister to me. But I, I get home and the whole house completely redone. Every single shelf, every single shelf is different knickknacks. And I would, dude, I was telling her. I'm like, Daniel, this is a, this is a problem. She has such an addiction to those fucking shelves. She changes it every week. There's some home goods, home goods does shit to girls, man. It's crazy because home goods is the plate. She was there yesterday for three hours. Oh, yeah, it'll do it. Looking for replacement knickknacks for shit that we already got. We were in the bottom. Zayn, and it's not something that's usable. It's decorative things that sit on top of books. Exactly. I understand if they were like, you know, we're using it. It's a kitchen stuff or kitchen devices. Yeah, yeah. But these are electronic things. These are knickknacks that no one else is going to pay attention to. But you, Danielle, you're the only one that's like really looking at this shit. And I get it. Like, you know, there is an art to like what you need to have on the shelf to make it like all work, but it already look good. Like, Danielle. It's like the, uh, the giant Jack, like, you know, the Jacks. It's like the little silver thing. And it's just like, you prop it up on top of a book. Exactly. Mandatory. This bitch will pop an out of all and spend 11 hours on a shelf. 11 hours. And then she'll like send me pictures like it's this look good. I'm like, Danielle, it's look good. It looks like before you took it. I wish you could like put your time to something, something like else. But I know she has a lot of fun doing this. But I'm like, god damn, Danielle. And you know what those saying? I get it because I'm, I'm kind of neurotic like that too. You're not on a shelf like that though. I feel I love decorating. I love, I love setting stuff up, arranging books in a certain order. Like, there's something, there's something, um, you know, satisfying. I think it's cathartic. Cathartic? You know what? My, I grew up, my, I grew up half my life. Cathartic. I got baptized, communion confirmed. That's capital in the cathartic, um, the cathartic church. Yeah, I used to go to the cathartic church. The cathartic church. Yeah, I don't know what the hell was going on. It's right next to what was going on in there. But it's right next to, um, Australia. What? The cathartic, the cathartic. All that ocean, the cathartic ocean. Yeah, um, but in the specific ocean, um, but yeah, no, I get it. She, she likes the things and, uh, home goods, man, it's, uh, it's a money suck. It'll get you. It is, it is. She found good stuff in there though. I actually, I also got two little knickknacks from, uh, from Sweden, which we'll talk about later, but got low to knickknacks from Sweden. Really cute. I got myself a little goat. Okay. Because you know, I fuck with goat heavy. Really? Yes, I fuck with goat heavy. I, he was even a goat. He was a goat Halloween. Oh, true. I just, there's something about goats that like really, I'm not like a goatfucker. Like, I'm not like weird, but I just like, I find it so awesome. You're, you're, you're leaning a little bit, um, into, uh, goadism in an interesting territory. Like, oh, say, inshit. It's, I mean, it could be, it could be very, uh, you know, baffamit. And baffamit. What are these big worries? No, you got to see baffamit. You got to see baffamit. Baffamit, he's this guy. Oh, oh, my god, that's like, damn, that's like, that's really dude. They did such a good job making goats look evil as fuck. I know they're so cute, but they can also be used as like a very demonic. I, you know what? I feel like the eyes have something to do with it. I feel like people lost all the goat eyes and like demonic. Oh, they freak you out. Square eyes, demonic. And they poop pebbles. Kind of weird. You know who else poop pebbles? Guilty. Say, you never, you never told me about your, uh, it's not bad. No, no, no, like he's, I can't. It was that bad. You know how we really, like, we really get into like the, the people who talk on this, yeah, podcast. I don't think this is way too far. I think people would boycott this podcast. I, I, I did it on this podcast to leaning over the toilet with my shirt covering it. So all I could do was hug. No, it's much worse than that. It's so, but you know what? It is the same territory. Okay. I, the thing is the only way I could really go into the stories. I have to go into detail because it's so fucking insane. But going into detail will make everybody again, boycott this show. And they'll like go against me. And I feel like I'll be all over Reddit. And like, I'll just tell me, tell me on the online, what? Because I, tell me on the online because I still, I still don't know what happened. Like you haven't told me anything. He's good. He is good. He's like, how can we plug the Patreon? No, Zane, I think the only other time we've plugged the Patreon, like that was another poop thing. To see the picture of your, or hear the diarrhea type you have. Yes, yes. He, but it wasn't mine though. So that's why we're like, okay, we'll time. But we did show it, which was fun. But you know what? Since you guys are here right now, patreon.com/Zane and he. That's how long it's been since we plugged it. I promoted it. But guys, it is so fun on there. Again, we do bonus episodes every month. We do unwinds for every episode. Which, I'm just started doing for some reason. We don't even put it on the, it's not on the subscription thing of like what we promised to deliver. We just deliver it every week. That's what we do, baby. Like, like, like, like, UPS, baby, shake it, delivered. Exactly. And you know what? It's, it's pretty much a mini episode every week. It used to be just like kind of literally an unwind, but it's starting to become like episodes. And it also feels like we could get into things that we wouldn't on the show. Exactly. So a little bit, you know, um, risque, mm-hmm. Exactly. And it's, and you know what? So if you think about it, we do post five episodes a month. Yeah, you get an extended cut of every single podcast episode. Early access. For $5 a month. As a month. Come on now. It is unheard of, unheard of. Plus, we got another little mouth to feed. So make sure to subscribe right now, please. Right now, we, sorry. I think you keep looking at your old camera. I'm in Matt's seat. I don't know. I tried to switch it up today. But I also can see Jared perfectly from this seat. So I'm gonna, you know, we're just changing shut up this year. Yeah. Again, we have another mouth to feed. We're in a new set. We got new lights. We got new TVs. We got new cameras. We have, I got purple behind me. We got a new girl coming in in 20 minutes. It's a lot of new shit. And we have to, we have to catch up. But I've never seen Zane. He's so hyped. I think Mariah getting pregnant, like really sparked something in you. No, you can't, you want me to be honest with you? Yeah. It's my haircut. Oh, I was having a really bad day until I got my haircut. And then I, I forget, because I forget that I, like, I'll get like, you see my haircut right now. It looks really nice. It looks really clean. And I'll get this once. And then I'll grow it out for the next like eight months. And I forget that I like this haircut until I do it again. I'm like, bro, you got like my haircut guy. I'm like, you got to remind me that like I actually like this haircut. And we got to keep doing this haircut every time. Because then I always want to grow it out. And I start looking homeless and shit. And it really brings out my mood. And then I'm just like, what is it? Like why don't I like feel good? It's because I need to get these haircuts again. It's an instant mood boost. I get it on the same. And I like, I like, I feel like it thinned me out too. Like I just feel thinner. Like I feel snatched. And so I just got like, really, you know, I also just took my zooloth. I took a little, I took a little vibe. And so like, we're really kicking shit off, you know, like it's. And you busted out a quarter zip. Where's Mark? Where's the boy on the moon, but yeah, so let's guide. This is going to be an exciting episode. He's gonna be crazy big, big news. We kind of already said it right. But he has really big news for all of us. And we know Matt's not here. But we're going to get Matt on FaceTime. Because he is with his family during the holidays right now, right? It's like still like the holidays right now. And we're really popping into the studio just a record real quick to get back to our holiday break. Yep. But we're going to call Matt. So because it's again, a big reveal that we're about to do. And it's very exciting. So let's roll the intro. Here we go. And you ready? Let's have the best episode ever, baby. Come on now. It's coming down, baby. Woo! Gaga Welcome back to Zayn and Heath on filtered. I'm saying, I'm heath and we have Jared too. Hi, I'm Jared. Just say hi, Jared. You know, just do it. You're part of the intro. Welcome back to Zane. Heath on filtered. Thank you for coming here again. You know, it's the new, is this, is this the new year that when this episode comes out? Yeah. What's, what's today's date? It is the 28th. Oh, it's the 28th. Yeah. This episode comes out the 20th. Oh, no, no, no, no. This episode, like this episode, when does it come out the January 2nd, January 5th/6. Oh, January. Oh, okay. Well, happy. You guys had an amazing new year. Happy new year is 2026. This is, I know I say this every year, but heath, I think this is my year. This is the one. Yeah, it's because of this haircut. The haircut's doing too much for you. I'm sorry. I need to download it down a bit. But we, it's a new year and, you know, with a new year, we got new faces to show. And so I think, is it time? I think it might be. Is it time? Should, should I, should I start out just rigging him on? Wait, wait. So let's, it's so, do you, do you want to do, like, a little intro? Like, I know everyone's, I know there's, do there's, there's so much to go over just everything with the birth, the experience being with him. Like, you know what? Let's, let's get Matt. Let's get Matt on the scene. Okay. Before we really get into it, he might not have much time. He might have like only five minutes. So with the most important parts, he'd get in that five minutes. All right. Oh, okay. And then we'll fill Matt in when he's back. Oh, yeah. He's going to have a thousand questions. I know. Let me wait. Let me, let me, let me tell him where I had to bring him down. All right. So, um, Matt is on right now. Say hi, Matt. Hi. Um, we are waiting for Mr or Mrs. Usar to bring down the little bugger. Baby Usar. I'm so stoked. I cannot wait to make this baby. I, I, I, I, I can not believe that he has a baby. It is so insane. I might tear up again. I know. I haven't seen Mariah in forever, too. I wonder if she'll be on here. Yeah. I wonder that too. She has a bob. That baby's probably probably not just cry. They're doing glam. You know, for eyes making him look perfect. Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. He praise me. Baby, Usar. Welcome to the world. Oh, my God. He's precious. He literally looks like Mariah and you, which is so weird. I know. It's a perfect combination. It's going to be so fun as he's growing to see, like, what ends up, like, what features are coming from you? What features are coming from Mariah? I know. It's always crazy how it happens like that. Oh, my gosh. His little socks, too, his little yellow socks. Imagine the chair. Oh, you kidding me? Oh, he's just, he's missing his match. Oh, he looks so adorable. He's so tiny. He looked bigger in the pictures. He looks great on you, he looks so good. Oh, who's that? I just saw somebody in the corner. Is that you, Mariah? Mariah's PR. She's like, we're going to have to cut that. There he is. That's him. His first appearance. He's so cute. He just ate. Oh, no, he's eating it up. He's got, he's got them, he's got the mullet flow going out the back. It's insane. Full head of hair. I, oh, man, you can't even hear him. No, I can't, but he's saying he has like the, the mullet on the back of his head. He's got a crazy head of hair. He's saying he has a lot of hair. Oh, I bet. Blessed be. All right, Heath, do you want to tell everybody the name of the little sucker? All right, everybody. That right there was Antonio Carl Hussar. We call him Tony. There's a little Tony. Tony. I love it. Oh, dude, honestly, I was not expecting that. I had about five other names in my head. Dude, us either. I'll give you the whole rundown of everything, how the name happened. He was born for two days. We were in the hospital. Still didn't have a name and they were like, you got to fill out the birth certificate. Like if you want to go home, so Matt, he didn't have, they didn't have the name picked out yet. Like until last, last minute that baby was out already and they were about to leave and they're like, you have to sign this birth certificate and there has to be a name. Well, it is a perfect name. I'm so glad he went with your gut instinct at the end. Baby, baby, Antonio, baby, Tony. I can't. Oh, praise me. As soon as they told me, I'll say, oh, my God, Tony, the tiger. Matt, I'm so, I'm so bummed. You weren't here for this episode. I know you're in Birmingham right now, but we had that we had to get you on FaceTime and show you the little squirt. Sorry. Matt can't hear he because of the headphones, but he just said he, uh, I'll tell him I'll give him the low down. He'll give you the low down later. Oh, of course, of course. You guys take your times. You guys take your time. Heath, you look great as a dad, buddy. Man, I am so thrilled for you. Enjoy all of it, man. Thank you. Thank you. Well, you have fun in Birmingham and we will see you soon, Matt. I cannot wait to dive in. I have all the questions on everything of how it all went down the heat. Mariah, big cheers to you guys. You guys are going to be fantastic parents. I am the real baby, Tony. Welcome to the world, baby. Oh, I love it. Tell the family we said hi and enjoy the holidays. We'll see you soon. Of course. All right. Bye. Bye, Matt. Look at all that hair coming out the bed. It's crazy. I know. I feel like he didn't have that much hair the first day. Oh, he came out like this. It's insane. Oh, my God. He's going to have such good. Oh, my God. I have to pull up some of those hairs out for me for my head. Seriously. I'm just see I'm right now. I'm just all I'm seeing is a hair bank. Oh, Tony, you're going to give me some of that. So crazy. He's like he's got good hair. He's like my sister's keeping my sister's keeper, but my hair. My nephew's keeper. It's brotherhood of the traveling plugs. Just like he's going to go out of here. So jealous. I know. Oh, man. Look. He's so small. Yeah. He's teeny tiny. I just can't believe that you're like responsible for a little human now. I know. I was already freaking out for them over a cat, but now they got a baby. Yeah. I got I got to fill you in about the whole interaction with Dean and Tony. Dude, there's so much to cover. I hope I hope they're good. I hope they're good. I hope he's not jealous. Okay. Good. Because I know pets get very jealous when a new when a new baby comes into town. Oh my god. That woke you. He tired. Too much camera time. That's a little like after 10 minutes of camera time. Yeah. That's how you get there. Yeah. He got that from me. Wow. Okay. Well, thank you, Tony, for making appearance. Mariah. Thank you so much. Sorry for bringing him on. Mariah, can you give one little wave with your hand? Give the people what they want. Oh, guys. I was I was telling he what I was talking to him when he saw the baby the first time out. I was telling him like, Oh, fuck, I might actually move to Nashville. You have to do it. No, because I wasn't like before the baby. I was like, no, I can't. Like, I got to stay here, but now I'm like, I have a baby too. You know what I mean? Like, now I have to go. I have to take care of it because they're going to need someone to take care of it when they're busy. Exactly. I got it. I got it. I got to set my priority street. I'm an adult. I'm 34 years old. I'm 34. I have to. I have to know you're not what I am. 34. Here we go. 33. 33. Oh my god. 33. I'm 33. You know, I'm old. I got to I got to prioritize like what's important in my life. So and that's and that's Tony. Exactly. And you have a studio there. Imagine if I move there in a month, we built this whole studio for Matt. Matt and Jared. And it's me and you. I want to go to Nashville. Come on down. We're going to have to move the whole set. I'm bringing I'm bringing everybody with me. Well, how does it feel? Everybody is probably wondering how does it feel? It is a father. It is unreal. It like, you know, you hear people talking about it and trying to explain it. It is so hard to put in words because it is unlike anything I've ever felt in my entire life. Like a part of you becomes unlocked that never existed. Yeah. And you change. Like you like, I am a different person. It is so weird. Like I I'm about to get like emotional right now. I'm sorry. I've I've cried every day since we've he's been born. Okay. So I was so I'm surprised. I because the few times I've talked to you. And yeah, now I'm surprised. I have not seen you cry because in my head, in my head was like, you're going to cry every moment we talked and you had that baby in your arms. But I'm sure you got it all out those couple days. No, it still keeps common. It's it's an never ending waterfall. He gives you like the baby gives you any sort of like like like either grabs your finger or looks at you for like more than two seconds. Just. No, it'll take you out. It'll take you out, man. Wow. And then like waking up on Christmas morning. Yeah. And just like, bro, it is it is wild. It's so wild. And just like the love from Araya, like seeing her throughout everything. Dude, she's awesome. Yeah. I can hear it in your voice. She's the best man. She's, she's an unbelievable mom and, um, it's crazy. Just, she just gets a real dude. Yeah. It's wild. Um, it's crazy. I can't even like put it in the words. Um, dude, she's a rock star. She crushed it, um, didn't even feel it. Didn't even have that thing out. She's like, it's out. Yeah, she, she was a trooper. Um, I'll start from the beginning, I guess. Uh, so Mariah has like a very high pain tolerance and like just super nonchalant about everything. Mm-hmm. We went almost a week past her due date. Uh, so he was born on the 19th due date was the 13th. Um, so that whole week, we were just kind of sitting around just like waiting like, is it going to happen? Like, dude, I was, do you feel anything? Like what's going on? And it was just nothing, nothing, nothing, um, and then one night we were like chilling on the couch and, uh, she like got up, she went to go to the bathroom. And she comes back and she, we were watching the show. She comes back and she sits next to me and she's like, I think my water, bro. I was like, I was like, you think she was like, I think so. I was like, how do you feel? She's like, fine. I was like, I was like, why are you like, I'm about to figure out why are you not freaking out right now? Please, please tell them, please tell them what you guys were doing in the moment. Cause it like truly not a lot. You guys are watching a show. And yeah, we're just watching a show. Didn't she say her water broken? And she was like, we can finish this episode. Yeah, yeah. She said, hold on, let's get into the good part. That's so insane. It was wild. So we just kept watching TV and then she just put a towel under her. She's like, yeah, no, so they were just like hanging out. And she's like, I guess I'll just wait and see if I like feel anything. And then I was like, let's just call like a doctor midwife, yeah. I was like, let's just give them a heads up. Let them know like, it happened, whatever. So we call and she was like, I think my water broke and the lady was like, we like explained everything that was going on. And I think just because of how nonchalant Mariah was, the lady was like, I think you just peed and I was like, no, no, I didn't. She was like, well, keep monitoring it. But I think it's pee. And where I was like, okay, what day was this? That was the 18th. The 18th. Yeah, at 10 o'clock at night. So we just kept hanging out for a bit and I was like, let's just keep an eye. I just see how you're feeling. We end up going to bed. And I wake up at like four, 30 in the morning where I was like, hey, I was like, yeah. I was like, you feel okay? And she was like, yeah, I think I'm starting to feel a little something. If you want to go ahead and shower, we'll just start getting ready for the day. Just to, you know, get ready. I wasn't even get ready for the hot. It was just like, no, just like, just so I could be up with her. Cause she was like feeling some sort of like contractions. Yeah, it was still pretty chill. Like she wasn't like in pain or anything like that. So I take a shower, we're hanging out and she's like, you hungry. I was like, I kind of just want like a coffee. I was like, I can order something real quick. I was like, oh, shit, Starbucks doesn't open till five. It's four, 30. I was like, let me order. She's like, yeah, just order it. We'll wait till it gets here. We're just sitting around waiting for coffee and then I was like, Oh, crap. I got a, I got to go do ad reads. So I come down to the basement. I'm here filming ad reads. Where I upstairs. She's vacuuming cleaning. I go back up. I'm like, what are you doing? She's like, I don't want to come home to a dirty house just in case we go to the hospital. Oh, it's like a true, true. So we just like start picking up the house, do it dishes, cleaning counters. Like five, 30 rolls around and we're like timing them. It's happening like every 15 minutes. And then that it starts getting closer to the contractions. And it was like every five minutes. Yeah. So we're still waiting, waiting and it's still like not bad at this point. Then it was like 630, 630. They started getting like every three, four minutes. And she was like, Oh, okay, I'm kind of feeling it now. So we get in the car. We drive over there. We get to the hospital and I'll just, I tried to try to make it short just because there's so much to it. I'll just like kind of speedrun this story. Do you want to just like rush it to the end and then we'll go into detail next episode? Or do you want to go just fully into detail now? So basically we'll just speedrun this real quick. We'll have Mariah come on and do like a full thing. Because no, guys, there is, there is so much that they like went through. Dude, it was crazy. I could not believe it. It's really good though. So guys definitely make sure to tune in the next episode because it is so like insane, insane. So we get to the hospital. We get, you know, checked in, whatever. And they bring her into like this first entry room type thing. Just to like see how you're doing, check your blood pressure, things like that. And the lady goes to check and she's like, Oh, you're, you're pretty much. You're pretty much there. You're seven centimeters right now. You did a lot of the, a lot of the pushing, I guess, at home and we're like, no way. Like you're, you're like, you're basically there. You're like so close. So they do the blood pressure, take some blood and they're like, okay, we'll get you up to a delivery room and just start getting ready. We get to the delivery room, everything's good. And they're like, Hey, could you, her paperwork's not filled out downstairs. Could you run down real quick and just make sure she, like everything's fully checked in and right? Yeah. Um, so, so I go back down and the lady is there. She's like, uh, asking me questions and we just, uh, basically just like her address, phone number, everything like that would be on file, whatever. Yeah. We go through everything and I go back up the elevator to go to the floor that she's on. And they're like, are you here for room 12? And I'm like, yeah, they're like, dude, she's about to deliver. You need to go and I was like, I run, I'm sprinting down the hallway. I get to the room and it is full blown starting, like it's happening. Um, and dude, it was the most incredible thing I've ever been able to experience. Like, she didn't almost pass out. She didn't almost pass out. She was doing no, no, you, me because I know it's like hard for you to like see that. I get, I get super queasy with anything that has to do with that, but literally didn't cross my mind. You're just so hyper focused and in the zone, you're just so present like I don't even, it went by so fast also that I, your brain didn't even have time to comprehend. Um, we got to the hospital at seven, got up to the room at seven, 15. I went down for five minutes to do the paperwork. Baby was out at seven thirty. This is a lot quicker than like what I'm imagining in my head. Same. When we got to that room and they told me to go down to do paper, I'm like, okay, we're, I hear labor could last like three hours, four hours, even 10 hours. Yeah. So I'm downstairs getting checked in. The lady is like, oh, four lottery number. And I was like, yeah, she's like, I was, I used to work at plantation hospital. I was like, I was born in plantation hospital. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. Especially like, especially just to go down to do paperwork. You're there. Crazy. You just got to do the paperwork real quick. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So I got up and just held her hand, talked her through it and all of a sudden, that's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. So I got up and just held her hand, talked her through it and all of a sudden, I was like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. Especially just to go down to do paperwork. You're there. You're there. You're through it and all of a sudden, next thing we know, Tony's coming out and just being placed on her chest and it was just like the most unreal experience. Um, words will not do it justice. Yeah. It is so beautiful. Did you take your shirt off? No, I did. It took my shirt off. Um, but I did cut the umbilical cord. Yeah. Wow. Fun. Crazy. Cool. That it was going to like squirt. Oh. That was a surprise. Oh my God. Heath, you're like literally a surgeon. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I did my kind of big clamp it. They clamped it and they were like, just cut right between them. I was like, okay. I mean, she doesn't feel that, right? No, no, no. That's so crazy. I don't feel that. What? That umbilical cord is attached to the placenta. Yeah. No, I know. I just like, it's just so, I find it hard to like, it's hard to wrap my head around that. Like, she does not feel that. Yeah. Yeah. I cut it. It's crazy. Oh, is it because it's numb or just it's, uh, oh, no, no, no, it's not actually attached to her. Right. Also the baby feels it. That's probably why that baby's fucking crying. So loud. Like, it feels like getting your tail cut off. Like a pack and the tail steps on it. So like, what was the most painful part of your life? Back when I was like, what, back when I was, uh, being born. when they cut that bugle core, that's your hurt in saying, okay, well, you definitely did a short version of that because I know there's a lot more. Zayn, I know it's killing me now to go, but we'll say that much, but no, it was, I'm so, I'm so happy that it went so smooth for super, super smooth. Yeah. And that big question, you guys did all your tests. It's just so weird that, like, the baby comes out, we go to another room and you're just sitting there with him. Like, you're like holding him. He's feeding. You don't give him back. Like normally every time, every time you hold a baby, it's like, okay, here's your baby back. Yeah. How do you, how do you think circuits feel to imagine you delivered? You're like, you got to give the baby to the parents. Oh, I could not imagine. Oh, yeah, you're leaving with a soul. You're leaving with a package PR package. So, so bizarre. But the whole time we're like chilling there. We're in the, the hospital room. And we're like going through the names that we had on the list. And like, nothing is sticking. We just like can't come to like, not even in an agreement. We liked all the names we had, but just there was not one that was just like, that's it. How so we waited and waited and we're going back and forth. I'll stress for you. Like, trying to get that because obviously, there's like a time. Yeah, it was getting stressful because they kept asking because like, they had to like fill things out. I had to do the birth certificate. And they're like, dude, they come up with a name yet. And I was like, no, we're still working on it. They're probably like, y'all, and then they need to pick up. Before they get a baby. Johnson, before they get a baby, don't, but yeah, no, that name is perfect. It's crazy because it didn't cross. I'm pretty sure it didn't cross any of our minds, especially everybody listening, but that girl, she, some girl posted a TikTok and she put a list of names. And I almost positive one of the, one of the names were Tony really, but I don't think we ever talked about it because you never brought up, you never brought that name up. I don't think we've ever brought that name up ever on this show. So I don't know how that girl came up with that name. So we were sitting there, Mariah's mom flew in immediately. When she got there, we were like going through it, trying to like talk about like what the name could be. And we started talking about, I was like, I really like like family names, like stuff that have, like keeping it in the family, like not just like a new random one type thing. And Mariah's great grandfather is named Antonio. And we're like, okay, Tony would be cute because we liked Tony. That was on the list. And we were like, Antonio is like really cool. And then my grandfather's name is Carl. And we were like, oh, Tony Carlo, that would be sick. And like I wanted to do Carlo, but my grandpa is Carl with a K. Yeah. Carlo with a K just like looked funny written out. So we're just like, okay, we'll keep it Carl, but we can call him Tony Carlo. Yeah, I'm going to call him Tony Carlo. That's a sick ass name. He just sounds like a race car driver. Oh, here comes Tony Carlo making a pass. I'm sorry. And there's that Tony Carlo takes the lead. I'm gonna get you that Instagram handle. I know you're not going to think about it, but I know it's. Oh my gosh. I should I should grab that now before it's too late. Here, I'll grab it and then you can pay me for it. Okay. Damn it. There's already one. It's C, right? His name is with the K. Oh wait, with the K, but it's Carl is the official name. Yeah, I feel like he's going to want to it's really taken by this freaking goose. He posts AI photos. I feel like he should be banned. I'll report him. Don't worry. Yeah, yeah, I got. We'll get the handle for for your Christmas present. I'll I'll okay. Yeah, go hit your rep. Oh, that's amazing. Okay. That will that. Yeah, amazing. Perfect. I can't think of a one thing to like pick at. That's good. That's good. Perfect. Name is perfect. Yeah, no. As soon as as soon as we said the name, Mariah and I just started bawling and like knew immediately. That was it. Like we we set it out loud. We looked at each other and simultaneously. It's just started. And we're like, okay, that's it. Like we just knew. So cool. Like that's the that's the experience we wanted for it. Because like there was no like we would say the other names. I was just like, okay, that could be it. It's cool name. But like as soon as we said that, we're like damn. That's it. That's how we felt when we came up with a pretty unfiltered. We're like, damn. And then when it was taken away from us, damn, damn. Start a crying again. Start crying. Wow. That's amazing. All my wall. I like cannot wait to do it. I can't wait for you guys to meet him. You're going to die. It's going to happen. I just don't know when. And like I'd like, what date is that going to be? It's a great question. I want to ace up. Yeah. I'm going to put that on my Instagram bio. I'm going to put that date. The day I meet him. It's ain't makes Tony's birthday his password first. I'm his first. I make his first fan edit page. But dude, dude, saying it's so wild. Like when we got to leave the hospital, like you just walk out with him in his carrier. They have to bring your own. Oh, yeah, okay. They help you load him in the car. And then that's it. I have never, saying I have never been so stressed and focused and proper while driving since my, since my driver's test. I bet. I was 10 and two the entire time. Doing the speed like just every turn, I was laser focused. It's like driving someone else's car. Dude, I felt like I was driving a Pagani. I was like, dude, and like everything hits you. Like the way your parents are. Yeah. Dude, semi's next to me. My heart was racing. Yeah. I was like, get, get these people away. Get them all. Dude, I turned into like this create like the protector that comes out in you is unexplainable. I genuinely don't, I would be way too scared to drive around with him. Like, yes, I think for maybe I think a whole year, unless he has a doctor's appointment, I don't think that I'm driving around with a mind. Because I know, I know the car seat is padded. It's got the straps and everything, but I'm still like, they're so fragile. It's just other people are stupid. I just, it's just scary. But we did, we did take him to his first Italian restaurant. Oh, damn. Oh, so you're, he's starting. Dirty hour restaurant. Don't bring him around. Yeah. So we took him out. We went to a restaurant. Yeah, we went to this place called Little Hats. They got like a little market. We just got some like little goodies. We're pushing him in the stroller. There's like a little courtyard area. So we just sat there, gave him a bottle. He was chilling. Wow. Wow. You guys are. He's such a good baby, though. Yeah. Man, like, such a good baby. What's like the crying? Because I know a lot of babies are really good with the crying. They don't cry a lot, but then some babies like cry a lot when some babies, they have something called collic. You could have like a collicky baby. And they, they cry nonstop. Oh, okay. 23 hours a day. Got it. And Tony doesn't know. No, no, he, he gets a little fussy sometimes when I change his diaper. I mean, we all do. Yeah. We all do. I would be, I would be pissed if I was getting mad at you. I'd be a little fussy too if I should. Honestly, no, they, you would love that shit. You'd be like, like, boy, no, no, but like, it would also like burn too. Like when you wipe the wipe like that and you got like, will be everywhere, it like burn. It's crazy, though. And that's another thing. Like, I didn't know how I would be with changing diapers. Yeah. You know, you go into, you're like, oh, that's gross. I don't want to do that. Again, you don't think about it. Yeah, it's like, like, it is, it is a part of you that you don't, like, you're just like, okay, you know why? Because you love your baby. There's fucking parents out there that push these babies out and they don't even fucking like the baby. That's true. That's why they get annoyed and piss at the baby. And then it carries on to like, throughout their whole childhood. And then it's called throughout their period. This episode drops you better. Victim flat back. My parents, no, no, my parents were amazing to me. No, sorry. But yeah, I know it didn't sound like I was like speaking from experience, right? God, just trauma. I don't get how people can like, like, nobody likes crying. Nobody likes loud noises that you can't stop. Yeah. But like, people that like shake their baby, I'm like, you got to be some type of fucked up person. Wait, what do you mean, like shaken baby syndrome to get them to stop crying? A lot of people they shake their baby. How is that stop them? How does that stop them from crying? That doesn't even make sense. Yeah, it like rattles their brain and it's really sad. Like, oh my god. Yeah, it's a really fucked up thing. Almost terrible. Like you said, like, some people, not that they don't want their baby, but they just like, it's, it's, I think it's more of like a patient's thing. Like, you got to be very patient. Like, you have to, you have to understand, like, they don't know what's going on. They're just, they're, he's a weak old. Yeah. He just, he just showed up. Yeah. He just showed us. That's crazy. But it is, it's the coolest thing, dude. Like, just like having a hand hold your finger. It's like my favorite, even like a baby, that's not even mine. Maybe I don't even know when they're holding my finger. There's something like in your heart. It does something. primal. Yeah. It's, it's crazy. It feels good. You're like, oh, wow. I am the first time he squeezed my finger. I farted. No. I, I, I instantly started crying. Dude, it's a bad. I'm also a super emotional person anyway. Yeah. Yeah. So it happens pretty easily. - Yeah, I'll get it, man. - It's definitely a change of pace for sure, 'cause you gotta feed 'em every two, three hours, you're changing diapers, watching 'em like a hawk. Just like, I can't stop staring. - Yeah, I feel so rude. I'm like, sorry. (laughing) - Sorry about that. - Maybe it's just like, just give 'em some fucking space. - Yeah, dude. - I get it though. I mean, look, again, I feel like a lot of kids out there probably wish they had a little bit more attention from their parents. So give 'em as much attention as you want. - Poor little things live in life. Like, he's got paparazzi following 'em, dude. I'm taking his picture, I'm staring. I'm just like, all up in his face. - That's fine, man. - If Kardashian, kids can do it, you can do it too. - Mm-hmm. - My little NEPO baby. - Yes. (laughing) Okay, Leah is here now. Should we have her come on? - Yeah, bring her on. - All right, you don't write. - Yeah. - Yo, coffee beans. Guess who's back? Pack it again. We have Leon again. Everybody say hi, Leah. - Hey, girl. - Hey, hey. - We figured since he has a baby now, we figured we bring the best nanny in the world. Best nanny in Los Angeles. - No, in the world. - To come maybe give you some tips and tricks on how to take care of a little baby, since Leah has done it for so many years, you know? - Okay, okay. - Yes, you have the expert right in front of you. - I'm trying to think. - Have you seen the baby yet? - No. - Did you know the name? - Well, I heard you guys. - Oh, okay. - Okay, here, I'll send you. - I almost said it. I almost said that last time. I was like, no, that's too obvious. - You guessed that his name was Tony? - Antonio. - Really? - Yeah, well, I was thinking next. I was like thinking Italian names, but I was like, no, that's like too much of like a, to give it, right? - Yeah. - Don't tell him where I though. (laughing) - Oh, but it's really cute. I like the middle name with it. - Yeah, it's his grandpa's name. Her grandpa's name. - I've always actually loved the name Carl, as a first name. - Carl's a good name. - He's a cute little name, I don't know. - Yeah, but we call Tony Carlo. - Tony Carlo. - Tony Carlo. - No, that's a name, that's a good name. - Yeah, that's so good. - That's solid. - See the bunch of hair. - I saved it in my photo. I'll be like a. - I love it. - Zayn, you go like this. It's your screen cover? Like your background? - It's the background. - Oh, don't, don't, take your will. I'll do it. He's so cute. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - Thank you. - Maya. - She's doing amazing. - Aw, good. - Yeah, she's recovering very well. - I was like refreshing her page and your page and no one was posting. I was like, I know that baby's here. I texted him, is the baby here? He goes, maybe. - Bro, where, where is the baby? - He lost the baby. - Oh my gosh, you're kidding. He's so cute. He's a little Christmas baby. - Yeah. - Keith, I wanted to, I think I told you this already, but I'll tell everybody too. When I, the moment I found out that they were going to the hospital, it's happening. He texted me when I was in, when I was in Sweden, I was like on our trip to Sweden. And I remember the moment that they told me, I forget, was it, you tell? - Right, when we got to the hospital, I texted you, it's happening in all cases. - Okay, you texted me saying it's happening, right? That moment, I was in an ice hotel in Sweden. An ice hotel, so everything was made out of ice, like the beds, the tables, literally everything. And I was, they had a section in this ice hotel where it was like a chapel, like a church. And I was in the church when I got that texted. As soon as I saw that, I was like, Mariah is gonna love this. - Oh yeah. - Mariah is gonna eat this shit off. - Bro, but the chapel looks gorgeous. - It was gorgeous. - I told Zane, 10 out of 10, bleed out spot. (laughing) - Unbelievable. - I always feel like you're randomly always around the world. Like I'll see you in Los Angeles, then the next day you're like in Japan, you're in-- - No, normally, I'm not around the world. I'm getting a little crazy at the end of this year. - I mean, it's recently that I feel like, I've seen you a lot of places. - He's going to Australia tomorrow? - No, you're not. - Tonight. - Tonight. - Oh, tonight. - Tonight. - Yeah, I leave, I leave at like, like-- - Wait for what? - Just for New Year's. - It's my dream. - Yeah, we're literally-- - You don't care about going there. You just want the men. (laughing) You just like, you love your Australia guys. - I love every dude that she's talking to is Australia. - Well, yes, but also Australia is just so fun and general. So it's always been a dream of mine to go for New Year's. - Have you been to Australia? - Yes. - Oh, it's amazing. - Oh, okay. - And when they're so, so nice. - Zane, when you get there-- - So hot. - And their accents are amazing. - It is so, it's hard to explain, but like when you go there, you're like, this is Australia. - Yeah, it knows. - Like, it just makes so much sense. You're like, the movies aren't playing it up. - No. - It's just, what are you saying? - It is exactly how you expect it. - Okay, so normally when I go to visit a country, it's not what I was expecting, sweetheart. You're saying it's exactly what I was expecting. - Right, it is exactly what I was expecting. - You know it's Australia. - Is everybody have that accent? Everybody? - Yes. - Wow. - Very thick. I love Sidney and Bondi the best. - Oh, okay. I heard like Bondi beaches, like beautiful. - That's like a pool. - It was like, have you ever seen that pool? Like, it's the last pool over there? - Yeah, I didn't know it wasn't told. Now, they told me I was like, no, Heath, have you ever seen a picture where the pool is right on a beach? - No. - Have you ever seen a picture like that? - And you could eat at the restaurant up there. And you like look out over the water. - Oh, sorry. - What is that? - Sorry, we're talking about goats. Yes, dude, I've seen this picture so many times. - But it's like more incredible in person. - Yeah, oh, really? - Yeah. - Normally pictures are much better, or pictures are much better than in person. - It's cool. - Everyone's swimming and hanging out. - We had it, we had it. - But how water is the ocean water? - Wait, what? - Yeah, it's like the pool? - Yeah. - Oh, it fills it up. - Yeah. - So it's like a saltwater pool. - I don't think so. - I don't think so. - I'm wrong, my bad, but I'm almost positive 'cause the water flies into it. (laughing) - It does. - So it's at some times there's ocean water in the pool. - I'm giving you two that just to give it up. - I don't think there's a pipe that fucking is connected to this pool. I doubt it. - No, not a pipe. It's all ocean water. - No, no. - Oh, okay. (laughing) - I was like, maybe I'm wrong. - Damn, okay, that makes sense. That makes it. Oh, but like, dude, that would suck. All that shit going in that pool. - 'Cause I'm saying what's underneath it. - Imagine just like shark flying in there. - This sucks. - The sharks are really bad in Australia, right? - The jellyfish are really bad. - Oh. - It's just like a shark attack there. - Fuck, they see, I can't- - Just don't go in the, like, yeah. - Does nobody go in the water in Australia? Is that like a thing? - I'm Dovan. We went on this cruise and there's these jellyfish, it was jellyfish sting season, and the size of your thumbnail. And if they sting you, you start to hallucinate and they have to airlift you out and take you to the hospital. - Does anyone touch this one 'cause you wants to get out? - I don't know. - We had to wear- - I kinda want to trip out in shit. - Hold on. - So we had to put on wetsuits, but like, yeah, they're like, all right, jump in. And I was like, cool. - Yeah, I'm not gonna do that. That's fucking insane. Hallucinate from a jellyfish. Imagine that trip. - But they're literally- - You're seeing SpongeBob characters. - You're seeing bikini bottom here. - I think they're like deadly. I don't know. - Oh, it's like if you get stung like enough. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Damn. You know what I'm really not looking forward to, Heath? The fucking spiders. - Oh, they're huge. - The fuck, have you seen the spiders on TikTok? - What is it called? The Kingsman spider? - All of them. - Is that the big one? Is that what it's called? - I don't, but he's- - Do a drill. - Their small spiders are fucking massive. - And birds. - The birds, the magpies. Is that what they're called? And they come down and they, woo! They'll take the spiders. - No. - They'll like come down and cheer. - Dude, I can't look at spiders. Oh my god. - No, they're everywhere. You'll see them. - Oh. - There are really cool birds in Australia, though. - They just fly down and check. - Oh, they attack you? - I think so. - I got attacked by a birdie. You know I got attacked by a bird once. Walking home from elementary school, it was fucking traumatizing. - Well, then I got to have room too. - It probably was a magpot. No, it actually was a, not a vulture. Crow, a black crow. - Interesting. - Game of Thrones type shit. - I think that's why, I think, like, it makes sense. - That's kind of a mean something. - I think so too. So if I hope a magpie actually, that'd be kind of sake of a magpie, like, you know, just to follow my last bird attack. - Uh-huh. - But I don't want to, like-- - Just don't get attacked by a cassowary. - What is that? - It's a pretty gnarly bird out there. They're crazy. - Oh my god. - This thing's a fucking dinosaur. - Dude, that literally looks like me when I have no clothes on. - Yeah, looks good. - Same. - No, dad actually. - Why can't I see it? - I have an ostrich body when I'm naked. - What? - I have a baby body. - It just looks like, I look like a big baby. - Wait, so do I. I look like I have a diaper on. - It's just like-- - It's your butt's baby. - That's the off when you look at me. - Every time I get naked, my friends like, "There's the naked baby." - Why are you naked around your friends? - I'm always naked. I was running naked around my courtyard in my house with the raken. - The courtyard? Like the public? - Well, my friend came in and she had stole my dog. So I ran out naked to go upstairs and grab her. But I look like a naked baby running through the-- - Oh. - Oh, my God, I feel like that's a hard watch. - It's a good watch. - Oh, okay. (laughing) - All right, ostrich body. (laughing) - Wow, yeah. But Heath, I'm hoping I don't see one spider out there. - You're gonna, there's literally everywhere. - Yeah, I know. - I know. - Just on the walls. - Are you guys doing like a zoo or going out into nature at all? - Honestly, I would love to go to like some sanctuary, to see some like-- - Yeah, dude, dude, they're amazing. - I'm down to see those spiders, but I want it like behind a glass. Like I don't want to surprise me in the middle of the night when I'm like getting out of my bed. Like that would be like, I wouldn't, like sure, I wouldn't pass through. - They were on my walls, but also I like to stay in hostels and stuff. - Oh, so like-- - It's prone to just pop up. - Yeah, I'm sure you're saying somewhere nice. - You know what it is nice? - But they are on like the railings, they're like on, they're out and about. - They're out and about, so you'll see it just walking around. - Like they're big, so it's not like you're gonna be shocked by it, you'll be like, oh, there's a spider. - Yeah, okay. It's really weird. I think I said this already. I have like my two fears. My big fears are like snakes and spiders, But they're like different fears like. Snakes, I'm scared of it hurting me, but spiders, I'm scared of it like with just the way they look. It's present. It's just it's them in general. They're presents. It's just like they could not like be venomous or, you know, deadly or whatever. But like it literally makes me shut down. Yeah. Just something about it. Yeah. But snakes are like, I'm scared that it's going to wrap around me. Put its fangs in me and it inject me with like the worst venom and just kill me. Just imagine dying like that. Oh, it's miserable. Oh, my God. I never understand people who get pet snakes. Why? Like why are you doing that to yourself? I know. And then like they look at the tank once and it's just like it's gone. It's yeah. There was a story once that it was like this person had a snake and they were sleeping with it. And the snake was like first, I can't remember how long, but he was stretching his body out to like basically consume the human. Oh, no. Oh, like he was preparing to eat it. So he was like growing like to the length of the person's body. That's not the snake for preparing to eat it. He's preparing to eat it too. Dislocated that jaw. It was like your snake. Come on. You wake up. The snake is a little bit end of your bed preparing to eat you. It's just like you wake up in the stomach. You look up at the snake. It's got a little bit of on. You wake up. It's halfway down and start. You're like, oh, what's that? What's so tight? It's like the movie Anaconda wrecked me when it was like when the alligator was in his body. It ruined snakes for me. Yeah, but that's like that's that that happens though. Like Anaconda will eat what is the biggest thing an Anaconda has ever eaten? That's a good question. A whale. Is it they asked that like we would know off the top of our head? Oh, yeah. The biggest also when I first watched Anaconda, I thought it was like a mythical creature. I thought it was like a fictional creature that they really for a horror movie. I was like, oh, thank God that doesn't exist. And I research, I was like, oh, this is real. You thought it was like a Loch Ness monster. I thought Anaconda was literally like a unicorn. It was just like, it's a word that we all know, but it's a mythical creature. It was a Jennifer Lopez movie. And I was like, oh, thank God. And Ella cool, right? Yeah. Is it does it still hold up that movie? I want to rewatch it because I haven't watched it since I was a kid. Some graphics are probably shit. I've never seen it. They're making a new Anaconda and it condos, it's I think it's more of a I've never seen the original, but I think this one's more of a comedy. It's got like Jack Black and Paul Rudd. Oh, that's going to be good. Is it wait is it like it snakes on a plane, a comedy movie or do people it's so bad that it's a comedy? I think it's so bad. It's a comedy. It's so bad. It's a comedy. Okay. All right. All right. Like, you know the movie cocaine bear. I feel like they've been making more movies like that like cocaine bear. Have you guys ever seen that movie? I never saw it. Never. You'd love cocaine bear. Okay. Oh, you would love it. What? What's like you fucking do it? Fucking. Oh, you know, you would love it. How do you think he stays up all night? No, he, it's literally exactly what you think is it is a, it's a bear, it's a, it's a killer machine based on basic yeah, yeah, loosely, I think it went past that. But it's, it's a really funny movie. I was really surprised after I was like, damn, that's a good movie. Okay. Two things. Snakes on a plane was officially an action trailer with horror elements, but it was considered can't be an unintentionally can hilarious. That's a good word. I've been using it more recently can't be. Yeah. Oh, damn, that's a can't be. And then this back to the anaconda, what's the biggest animal we can eat? This says it could even consume a cow while though it's extremely rare and borderline legendary. Okay. A borderline legend. My legend. Like, there's not a lot of anacondas out there, right? I think there is in the like the Amazon dude. Oh, there's like a bunch anacondas, like as in like. Like the big, like the big fucking currency ones. Wait, Jared, can you look up biggest anaconda in the world? Yeah. A picture of my pants. They're out of control. Everyone needs to be here. Same with the jobs. Hold on. Don't want to compare your dick to that Drake picture. Or you said, no, they were not Drake. They were not Drake photo that came out or like he was like flopping his dick forever. I was saying it goes. It wasn't even that big. I was like, I'm sorry. I know. The thing is that it wasn't like the things that you could tell that like he sorry for you. You could tell that he was like like more than half-chub. And that's normally what we would do if we were trying to get a good shot of it. You can tell that he did that. And in that sense, it wasn't that crazy. It just looked like a normal size. Yeah, I thought it was a normal size because it was the same size as mine. And if you think that's big, then to me, then I don't have a small penis like I thought I had. Continue with the anecdotes. It says, the biggest species is the northern green anacondas with one specimen named Anna Julia measuring 20.7 feet and weighing 440 pounds. Wait, 20 feet. I feel like that's not that long. 20 feet for an animal that's fucking huge. It's a two-story building. I thought it was. I thought the biggest one was like much longer than that. Okay. Is that the biggest snake in the world or that's just the biggest anaconda? I think anacondas are like the biggest snakes, right? Let me see if there's a difference. Oh, shit. That's what I'm talking about. Titanoboa. I'm not even going to try to pronounce that which lived about 60 million years ago to reach the lengths of 42 to 50 feet and weigh over a ton. Can we talk about the 60 million years ago? Like, oh, this is like another one of those things where it's very like, how the fuck do you know? It's 60 million years old. How can you as a human be living for 50 years, can like learn that something is 60 million years old? It doesn't make sense. What? The math doesn't make sense. It's the fossils. It's fossil. Yeah, but how can you, I just, it's like, how can you look at a bone and be like 60 million years old? They're not just looking at it. They're testing it. Testing on one machine. It doesn't make sense because we have learned that atoms have half lives, right? And they deteriorate over time. And we know exactly how long these atoms last. And so we can see by how much is left to know that it's last 60 million years, right? Who fucking was alive for that long? That tested that thing. It's just like starting to sound like me. It just like, it just bugs me. It bugs me because it just sounds just like foolish. It sounds like, you know what it sounds like? It sounds like religion. It's like, we're all listening to one person that wrote a book. I can also write a book. I can write anything. I can put anything in a book and put a new island and be like, this is, this is real. This is what happened. And then and everyone, I can, I can convince everybody that what I told them is real. It's that with, oh yeah, that star, that's 20 million light years away. Go fuck yourself. 20 million years for the light to try. I'm like, bra, like, come on. I did see a video recently where they showed the scale of just the Milky Way galaxy. No, it makes me spiral. They were like, if the Milky Way galaxy was the size of North America, our son, which is already like eight million times larger than Earth, would be six nanometers big. Like it would be smaller than the one where it was all like it showed first like the whole. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I saw that video when I was high a long time ago, and I had a meltdown. It was, it was an insane experience. I, it really makes you like, not care about anything anymore. A little bit. Like we're all so fucking small and just like, that's what they, that's what they want you to feel. And that's how they want you to think. They want you to feel like your life is meaningless and you're floating in the middle of nothing with no purpose. Don't let it get you. I know. But there's something, there's, but like there's something nice about like room, like reminding yourself like, don't take it so seriously. Yeah. You know, everything's going to be okay. We're on a floating rock. Exactly. It's fine. It's fine. No, it's, no, I like getting on a rant like this. It's like, it's just fun. It's like, it's fun to not believe anything. It's fun until they go to bed and then I start spiraling. Yeah. What am I? It's fun until somebody posts this clip and they're like saying, it's a fucking idiot and then I spiral. It's like, oh, you want to see spiral? Yeah. But no, and this is why not everybody should have podcast equipment. Exactly. When I see that comment, I'm like, make podcast equipment more expensive. I love those comments because I agree. I like those comments. I'm like, it's true. I agree. Yeah. Are these AI pictures? Like, what is that? Yes. I don't know. Oh, 100%. The one. Yeah. No. Imagine. Imagine. Oh my God. I do want to know about your hair. Because you're a little bit of a ginger right now. I, um, it's the winter lit. It's really, this is a journey. I'm on a hair journey right now and I'm like trying to figure out, I've been trying to figure out for a long time. Yeah. And it like pisses me off because I don't have good natural hair. Like my hair is very pubic. Hairy. I remember you saying, um, so when I try to gel it, I try to do anything blow dry it, literally I've tried so many different. I've had people. I've hired people to try to like. make my hair look nice for stuff for events, and it just never, ever wants to just stay looking good. Like, I'll put John here and it'll look really good, and then I leave my house, and then it, and it looks like I just stuck my fork in an electric shock, and it just looks like fucking ass, and then I have to grab my hat and put it on. And so that's why I wear hats all the time. But I realized that if I bleach my hair, I decided to bleach my hair once for a video, I bleached it, and I realized that my hair looked really good, 'cause it like strips your hair, and then it makes it, yeah, it frees it, it made it thick, and then I geled it when I after I bleached it, and it looked good, it stayed styled, and I got a lot of compliments on it. People were like, "Oh dang, your hair looks really nice," outside of the blonde hair that a lot of people didn't like, but it's because I didn't want to put dye on it, 'cause I was scared putting dye on it would fuck it up again, because you're putting like more shit in your hair. So that's why I always had it bleached. But I recently decided to start dyeing my hair after, 'cause I really want my brown, I just want brown hair again, because I'm 33, and I feel like, if-- - No more frosted tips. - Yeah, I just like, I don't make music, I don't DJ, I shouldn't, I don't need blonde hair. Unless I move to Australia, then I can maybe, maybe I can bleach it back blonde. I actually, you know, maybe I should do that before this trip, there you go. - It's okay to say don't. (laughing) - Maybe next time. - It's not like, you see, it looks nice right now, because I bleached it, because I fried it off. - Hear me out. (laughing) - Hear me out, say. - Hear me out. - I think it does not look nice, that is just your-- - It looks fine, but I hear me out. What if you got a perm? Because you could do like a low perm, or it's just wavy, and then your hair would almost stick in place. - I could get a perm to make my hair look like this. - Not like that, so they roll it all, like they'll roll it all in these rollers. - But I don't want to look like a take-talker. - No, no, no, because you could do, you don't have to do like the really curly one, but a nice little subtle wave. They'll take it out sooner than like the whole time. - But if I have like my hair is like kind of like very thin. - Yeah, yeah, I have a really good perm girl. - Does she do your hair? - No. (laughing) - What is that mean? (laughing) Okay, next time, I feel like I have to let it, honestly, give me a year. - No. - I have to, because I can't go to her now. It's fucking bleached, it's fried. I can't do anything else in my hair. - We'll talk about that. - No, Leah, I literally, if I put a perm on top of this dead hair. - I think she'd tell her, I don't know what the chemical is, but I think you can. - Yeah, I can't go talk to the expert. - I feel like there's a lot of hair experts that are listening to you. - Can you get a perm? - Please, yeah, please, like in the comments, I'll read the comments, I'll read all the comments. I want to see what you guys say, think about like what I should do with my hair, because I really need help. And I talk about my hair a lot, and it's super fucking annoying and I hate doing it, but this is the last time, fill the comments up. All my salon girls, all my hair people that know the shit, let me know. - Help them. - Help me, and I'm gonna. - I just think you should shave it off. - Just buzz it. - I am gonna buzz it though before my hair turns my head. - You're getting another one? - Oh, you're gonna go full like me? - Oh fuck. - Yeah, I'm getting another one. - You're addicted. - Oh my god. - I'm not addicted. - I'm probably doing this. - Where's it going? Like more in the salon. - You always find this place. - It's like filler. It's like you can always put it somewhere. So it's like, we'll find places. - Okay. - We'll find places. Is there an opposite of a perm that makes your hair just like a straighter? - Yeah, you can do a perm straighter or a perm curly? - I don't know if you remember this. - I've actually permed my straight hair. I've permed my hair straight before. - Yes, I do remember that. - Remember that? It was jet black. It looked terrible. It was the worst my hair has ever looked. I don't know if that's how I'd never do it again. Yeah. - That shit was flat. - It looked terrible. - It was so bad. It looked terrible. - Oh, that's scary. - Yeah. And also black hair on me looks so bad. - Really? - Yeah, it looks like I'm trying really hard to look young. (laughing) So. - I don't do it. - Yeah, it looked like a hair piece. - Yeah, to pay. Remember Matilda when the guy had the fucking, Matilda's dad, that's what it looked like. (laughing) That's literally what I looked like. (laughing) Look, you try bleaching his hair, look. (laughing) Bro, that's literally me. That's, do, me and him have the same fucking journey. We're trying to figure it out. - See, 'cause I was thinking I kind of, I have super curly hair. And it's really, it's kind of annoying sometimes. And I was thinking about getting it like, loosened or whatever. - Do a straight hair, dude. - Oh, I really like your curly hair though. - Thank you. - I feel like it like fits you very well. - I feel like if you have straight hair, it just wouldn't look right yours. - Can you like blow it out? - Maybe, I can. - Oh yeah, have you tried like, no. - You should try it. - Try it. - Like a Dyson era? - Ooh. - Yeah, have a look. - I'll bring it. - I'll bring it. - Try it. - Have Reggie, have Reggie do your hair well. - I just also have no idea how to do any of that stuff. - Yeah, I don't either. - Do you be pretty simple? - Yeah. - It probably is. - Once you see someone do it, you're like, okay, I got this. - And yeah, I've never had just any of that training. And so. - Fair. - But yeah, sometimes I hate my curly hair. - I'm just really happy that hats exist. Imagine like hats were just like band. - Kill me. - We'd be so fucked. (laughing) Just like, I never go out. - I'd be a hermit. - I would literally have to do glam every day, like Alicia and Remi, like, before I leave my house. Like, I'd have to get people to do my fucking hair. - No, I'm happy that, like, baseball caps were invented. 'Cause, like. - Baseball? - If we had to walk around wearing, like, top hats. (laughing) - Fedoras. - Bro. - Just fucking. - That's literally what they expect you to wear when you go to some of these fucking nightclubs. - And these bars. - Oh. - And they're, like, super strict, like, Davy Wains. - No hats allowed. - Like, get over yourself. Get over yourself. Like, people with hats like that and you're like, come on. - It is fancy. - Like, Fedora, no, it's not. (laughing) - I'd be so scared, like, somebody showed up with a hat like that. I would think that they were, like, gonna murder all of us. - The only one that's acceptable is the one that kind of, like, slopes to the front, like, the, uh, peaky blinders. - Do you like that? - He wore it to your wedding shoes. - I know, I love that hat. (laughing) - Do you? - You don't like my hat? - I do. I think, um, if it's on you very well, I look like shit with that hat on. I don't like any hats that don't look good on me. I just judge. I judge it. - You look like a trucker hat. - Yeah, baseball caps. - You know, like, the dad hats? - Yeah. - God. - They made me lose. - Terrible. - They're so flat. - So flat. Now, you know, I got a cone head, so, like, it's hot. - Peaks through. (laughing) - That's just, like, floating on my head. It's like, why? You know, there's a new season out here. Did you see that? - Is there a new season? - Oh, what? - I thought there were geeky blinders. - I thought it was a whole movie. - Oh. - It's a movie. - Yeah. - No, no, no. - No, no, no. - No, no, no. - Oh, they made a movie. They came out, 'cause my dad lost geeky blinders, and I told him, he's like, well, it's, uh, it ended. Like, the, the final season, I was like, uh, you're wrong, because I just saw trailer. He just posted it. - The, the immortal world. - The immortal man. - Do you like when they do that, when they have a series, and then they end it with the movie? - It really depends on, like, what is gonna happen in this, you know, like, if it, if the series is already wrapped up, and so just leave it at that. If this is like a prequel or like another part of the story before the end, I'll be fine with it. - Okay. - If it's past that, and they ruin the ending, then go fuck yourselves. - Interesting. I don't know. What are you saying about it? - It's like when they did the, uh, El Camino movie for Breaking Bad. - Oh. - Yeah, they really butchered that. - Horrible. - 'Cause it ended so good. - Yeah, that movie. - They did that all to me. - Yeah, that movie. - It was nothing, right? Like, nothing happened in that movie. - It was dumb. It was just bad. - It was a passion project. - It was, it was a cash grab. - It was. - I heard it was bad. I never even saw it. I was like, it's not. - Yeah, a lot of people didn't see it. - They were like, just not ruined this. - It's because reviews came out, and I think a lot of people like mega fans were like, I'm not gonna watch it because I don't want it to like piss me off. - Yeah. - And like, ruin it for me. So, a lot of people didn't watch it. I didn't watch it. I don't want it like, ruining anything for me. - How you doing there? How you doing? I was thinking of dead. - You know, I'm just thinking about my baby. - I do like that. Oh my god. - I feel like that's all you want to do every day. We're recording right now for like two hours. You don't want to be here. - I just want him next to me. - I'll say the best is the newborn scent. - Oh yeah. - The best. - Why did they come out smiling like baby powder? You didn't put baby powder on them. - It's the womb. - You know? - Oh, you know what he did do yesterday though? - He gave me a mustard squirt like you would do that. - Oh. - There are seeds and those things. - Boy, I lifted the leg. - It's mustard! (all laughing) - And it's nitrogen. - Baby, baby diary is gross. - Oh man. Why is it like so yellow, you know? - It's crazy, it starts out super, super dark because they're getting rid of all like the cells and stuff that they were like absorbing and taking in in the womb. - Oh. - So it's really dark and then that flushes out in the first few days and it turns to that bright yellow. - How often do you have to bring the baby to like the doctor to kind of like, do you have like checkups? - Yeah, we took them to his first pediatrician for his first checkup. - I think like four days after he was born or something like that. - And then when do you go again? - We have a two week follow-up. - Oh, two weeks, so it. - Yeah, I don't know about after that. I think they just do like the first one and then a follow-up checkup. - I think it's so crazy. I think I'd bring my baby every other day. - I think there's a lot now. - I think that once we do the checkup, we don't have to go again unless something happens. But they're trying to make sure they want them to gain their birth weight back. And once their birth weight's back, then it's like. - Oh, it's been sailing. - Yeah, I'd be so worried because like babies can't talk. So I would just freak out and I'd be like, I'm sorry, I'm gonna bring into the doctor's office every fucking other day because the baby can't tell me if he's not feeling good or if he feels like he's passing out or whatever the fuck they. - Oh, did your brain goes crazy? - You have that little outlet for their foot? I have seen that, but then I looked into it and people are showing their feet are like burned. Oh, wait, what? That's crazy. A lot of, like, um, a lot of babies, the bottom of their foot is getting this like crazy red blister thing. Interesting. It's a monitor that goes on like a sock. So if they stop breathing or if anything happens, like this alarm will go off. Oh, that's amazing. But then I saw people that were having like a lot of issues with it. And I was like, oh, I don't know. It seems kind of mixed reviews. Yeah, I mean, I feel like it would go off on like moments that's not nothing's happening. Just like glitching. This would make me more anxious. Yeah, it's like, it's like one of those things where it's like waiting for it. Yeah, I would see you really need to like stress yourself out a little, but like more than would. I would see 126 BPM for their heart rate. I'd be like, he's dying, something's wrong. Yeah. Why is my baby in a hit class? So when are you going to toss the baby in a pool? Because I feel like because baby, yeah, because babies, because babies can float. But I don't know how I don't know what they do. You have a teach them to float. Yeah, I think I used like, oh, no, I thought like I thought because of their like, the like how light they are, like they're able to like turn. Well, you have to teach them how to turn. You have to teach them to roll over. You've got to teach. I thought that they are doing things like what? I thought that's the new one, all right? I thought that's tapping. This snapping was just like, keeps them to keep like their head up and to teach them the most fucking dogs. I think, I think, I think they naturally, like because they're humans, humans are incredible. You know, it's crazy. If you have a water birth, they could stay underwater for, I think it's like 30 minutes before you, like that they're completely fine. Connected to the inbilical cord, though, right? Yeah, yeah. I would go above and beyond and get a little mermaid tail on my baby before cutting the vocal cord and just like, imagine that photo shoot. I, you haven't seen one. Have you seen a newborn baby mermaid photo shoot underwater? Oh, his, his inbilical cord fell off last night. Oh, I'm going to keep it. I put it in a little bit. Oh, you did? You should frame it. I graded it on top of our salad. Okay, tell me when. Did you guys eat your placenta? No, we didn't. You can bake it. Why didn't you? People could ship it off and put it into pills. They would just be crying the whole time. They're super emotional. Is it, when you see it in person, the last thing you're thinking is, oh, wait, could I have that? You took the placenta home, huh? You took the placenta home. No, when I saw it, I was like, toss it. I would have froze it. Oh my god. Yeah, bring it. Oh my god. Imagine, imagine one day, like just keep it in the freezer until like one day, you're like, you're fucking dead. It's just like, doesn't know what it is. It's like, let's cook some steak. You just throw it on the grill. Never seen this type of. Which Kardashian, was it that cooked it and prepared it and served it to the whole family? No. I remember this, but I don't know who it was. Well, he was like, I was there, I ain't sorry. No, I've seen it. You could also, yeah, I was going to say one of them turned into it. Courtney and Kim. Yeah. Oh, the pill, see? Yeah, you can turn into a pill. Oh, it's a pill. Yeah, you send it into someone. It's in all of our lemmy gummies. It's not. I saw your lemmy sleep over there. Yeah, no, I fuck with it. It works really well. And the way they taste, she should make candy with that formula. Like gummies, like actual gummies. Yeah, they're good. I saw some bitches back. Do you got any tips and tricks? What, babies? Yeah. I don't know. I think I'm just like, naturally a baby whisper. But I will say, I feel like the most, like what I was doing with like a kid that I was basically raising, is just talk to them. Like they're like, just a human, you know what I mean? Yeah. Always just talk to them. And then eventually, I feel like when he was nine months old, like he was already talking because he was like the only person in the room with me. So it was talking to him. Don't talk to him like a baby yourself. Yeah, like a baby. Just have normal conversations and talk to him like a. I've heard that. I've heard that a lot. I've heard that helps a lot. And they just become just like, I don't know. They just become, like you can have actually a conversation with them. Just a mad chill baby. Yeah, just really chill. Yeah. We no more eyes out talking to him like a baby. No, she doesn't. Don't worry. I always say too. Can't walk. Hey, Tony, come here. Hey Tony, could you grab me a glass of water? This is like, I mean, it differs for everybody. But personally, I really, really strongly believe in structure. Like structure, like schedule sticking to like like same time every day you do. Well, yeah, I don't know. I mean, I feel like there's a baby's too. It could sleep anywhere. But um, structure doesn't even make sense. I don't even know what I'm trying to explain. I feel like Keith and Mariah are like very built on structure. Right? Like in like every day of the house. I just don't like getting so into it where if something doesn't go accordingly. Yeah, and then people like freak out. Like it's just like, we're very go with the flow. I don't think of what I mean by structure. Like not like a schedule. Not like that. Like a discipline. Like say something. You mean it tight. Oh, he's ready. Like kids need structure. Yeah, there you go. Kids are structured as far as like discipline. Like he's be like, what do you want? Like give me options. But there's also. I see way too many bad little fucking kids out there. Like discipline is so important. But people like people like I don't I feel like people judge super hard on like the way some people like discipline. And I'm not saying like physical. Like I'm just saying in general, like people. I feel like people are so anti-discipline to kids. I'm like, no, these kids are going to be so fucking terrible. Yeah, they're going to literally they're going to hate you. You're going to hate each other. Yeah, by the time they're fucking teenagers. Gentle parenting. Gentle. Yeah, you got to have a healthy fear of your parents. Yes, that's right. I had a very healthy fear of my dad. Yeah, I was scared. Yeah, no, but then you were an adult. Yeah, I'm still scared of his dad. But yeah, I think it's good. Like I was just so scared of letting my parents down. That prevented me from doing so much. Like bad things. Okay, let them down more as an adult than it is. But cool. Yeah, I mean, we're just learning as we go. I'll just say yeah, you'll figure it out. Kind of enjoying it. Are you, because I know you do a lot of podcasts and a lot of reading. Are you, how are you taking in like, doing my Google history, my TikTok history, just all newborn shit. Are you, are you, are you listening to podcasts? Are you, are you more like just looking up YouTube videos and TikTok? It's, it's mostly like something will happen. And I'll just have like a question. Ah, okay. Lauren, I'm just constantly looking things up. Do you know what I'd be doing? I'd literally be like, day two, what should I be doing with this baby? Like, that's how I would be asking because I would be doing it by days. Like, okay, day 12, like, what should the baby be doing already? What should I be doing as a dad to make sure the baby's the best that they could possibly be raised? I was looking up just like best burping techniques. Yeah. Things like that. You know, that's my life now. It's so scary that like how you raise like your kid is how it's going to turn out. Yeah. Like you're hundred percent. Yeah. That's what he's so stressful. Like I would hate to like, imagine like I raise a kid and the kid is a fucking serial killer. I would be so depressed with myself that I can't even like raise. Like, what did I do? What did I do? Like, as I was raising my kid that he was like, I'm going to, I'm going to hurt people. Like, like, what went wrong with, like, some of it's a little out of your control, yeah, like that part of it. But also like, I feel like some of these, yeah, I feel like like these serial killers, I feel like they did have like really bad childhoods too. I really do think it's yeah, it is childhood trauma too. Like a lot to do with it too, because I've been through a lot too. We should talk about it. Let's talk about it. This trauma dump. Yeah. Should we talk about it on the unwind? Yes. Oh god, so much is happening on the unwind. Good plug. Good plug Jared. Good plug Jared. Very good Jared. Everyone's doing so well. What a crazy episode. Congratulations. Thank you. On your new child. Congrats. And thank you. On your call. Tell where I said congrats and highs. I will. Absolutely. Tell Mariah, thank you for letting Tony come on the episode. We really, really came on. Yeah, we had him on earlier. Yeah. So I get really. He was talking his ass off. Yeah, he was chatting it up. He's a, um, a natural maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe you can see him next time. Uh, also, yeah, we're just, I'm just so happy for you, Heath. Thank you. What a, what a, what a new beginning. Thank you. You've got the pop a glow. Yeah, you do. You do. Paps. It's okay. I don't know why. I thought like he would look like different, like, visually. I don't know why. I think it just imagined him in like a bottom up, like, culture. And corner shorts. Like, maybe I should do a switch up. He's a cool. No, don't be yourself, man. I think that's what's so like, I feel like when you have a kid, you got to still be yourself. That's what makes it so beautiful. It's crazy because I feel like, well, I'm older for having a kid, but I still feel like I feel like I'm too young. If that's your teen dad, yeah, I feel like a teen dad. That's, that's, I mean, that's how I see you too. I mean, I think it's because we've known each other for so long, but like you, you don't look like your father. It still seems like I'm not at that point in my life to be a dad. Yeah, I like, I would say another 15 years. Honestly, like you just don't look like, you just look like, you look like a baby with a baby. So weird. So crazy. And then I think about my grandparents having my mom at 16. Crazy. My mom had us when she was like 25, 26, and looking at pictures, she does not look like 20, she just looks, I'm not, she didn't look all she just looks mature. Yeah, makes no sense. Imagine us a baby. It's a different time. Yeah, I couldn't do it. It's different. I think it is just like the style too, because remember like older ladies back then, like when you watch these shows, like the same age as our mom, but like their hair is making look so much older. It's like the short, like, fucking, what do you call those, like, older ones? It's like a, like a, Like the afro type thing where it's like just like a poofy kind of yeah, but if you look at them really look at them And they like put like they make up that you'd wear today and like have straight long hair They would look like our moms today Yeah, I think it's just like the how they really presented themselves. Mm-hmm. All right Unwind we'll see you in a second. We love you so much again If you want to check out the patreon patreon.com/saintinheath you get an extended cut of every single episode bonus episode every month live Q&A every single month patreon.com/saintinheath you check it out nice. All right. You can check out these episodes every Monday audio form and all podcast platforms The cameras right here and video version every Tuesday on youtube.com/saintinheath Everybody make sure to show heath and Mariah all the love you can on all their socials. They look at all of it um, and yeah wish them luck on their yeah, hopefully hopefully we'll have a baby picture posted by the time this episode comes Yeah, baby. We're waiting for it. I know wait for it. It's the pressure on Christmas day. I know I know I know I know the question turned on We were just busy and it's just like So I get it. I get it. You want to soak it in like dude. I feel like last thing I want to do is fucking like try to post a picture when my child is here. Us trying to get the the little Christmas sweater picture. I say you know I noticed it was like taking like a while. We're just like I just I just want to like hold my love of like I know that photoshoot took you guys three days But it looked really it was a great photoshoot. It was a great photoshoot. He looked adorable in there He's really cute and you're a little you're a little angles with the hands. I was like, okay National Geographic All right, we love you so much. We'll see you on winters in five seconds. Peace and blessings peace. Bye Bye, Tony. See you. What's what's the Charlie? Good luck. Good luck. Good luck Tony. Good luck Tony