"Me dijo: "Aquí no hay cámaras que nos vean"", relatos de algunas de las víctimas. #derechopalagente

Hello, you are listening and watching Shagmar annoyed, please keep me anonymous. Hello, and we are joined this week by the incredibly funny comedian, Susie Ruffal. We had a wonderful chat. Very funny, lady. Very, very funny. Susie is a stand up, we started around about the same time, me and Susie, I've known her for years. She does a podcast with Tom Allen called Like My D'In Friends and a podcast with Macy Adam called Big Kick Energy, which is on talk about a tour, which you're going to go and say on here. I am, it sounds amazing. Very, she's got a musical theatre background and sort of very sort of theatre kids. We'll love it, guys. She did set it at one point in me show there's some light and state changes and Rosie literally lost her mind. And you got dripping. As she was called Juggle and for tickets, SusieRuffal.com, that's suz.iRuffal.com. Like the chocolates. Yeah? No, it's spelled different. Great, unhelpful, completely unhelpful edition there by Rosie. Thank you for liking and rating and subscribing. Please subscribe if you're watching this on YouTube. And just enjoy. ♪ We had a fight about the Jingle Jingle ♪ ♪ We could set a lawn of Jingle Jingle ♪ ♪ So this is the Jingle Jingle ♪ ♪ We hope you like the Jingle Jingle ♪ ♪ Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadoo, Baba Jingle ♪ Funny trainers. I said that. Oh, my jay lorbitan. Hey, what would they? I could then used to work in like a really cool shoe shop in Newcastle. And he was just every time you see him, he had like the coolest fucking tree in his own. He's obsessed. I see what I'm doing. Oh, okay, shopping. Oh, yeah. There's a night out like near Birmingham. I was like, I've got four hours before I show. Oh my god, shopping. I'm so happy to see you. I've got a thing with shopmen where when I'm in-- You can't be trusted with that, Rosie. How did you know? Like literally dressing. Like salt. Yeah, I'm so excited. Well, so the sort of-- the sub headline would be, I'd just buy the same colour stuff all the time. So stuff basically, the colour of these curtains is green. No, no. Greens. After three, what colour do you buy, which I hate, which you don't even suit? Oh, one, two, three. Oh, burgundy. Fucking burgundy. So, I buy burgundy and she hates burgundy so much. I buy burgundy. You don't suit really, though. I buy like olive green. Like, I literally-- I walk around a shop and I'd be like, oh, I pick loads of things up. And then I go to the dress, the change room I'd have at. And I'm like, these are all fucking cargy black are olive green, like all the same colours. Yeah. It's all I do. You want to look like you're in the army or something? Someone once-- Someone asked me, are you in the tear? Someone said, someone at the gym said that. The one, are you in the tear? I was like, no, the one you've always got like green, burgundy. Oh, that is right. Why do you never tell me these things into the satire? What a terrible way to-- What a horrible way to find out you dress like shit. Well, I was going to say that you didn't recognise you. Not annoyed. [LAUGHTER] What terrible way to find out you're not a fron. Not the one who I am. You know where I am at the gym, it's just one of them. He's like, you should, you should, you should. They know where I am at the gym. Don't worry, they do. No, they definitely-- You need to know what I've got me green dress up. But I've got me Christian, I'm desion. [LAUGHTER] But yeah, the thing we're making a shopping is, now when I'm on tour especially-- so I'm sitting in the hotel room, and I've got to have a time to kill. I'll go like, oh, I should, you know, go to the shops. And I walk around shops. Well, basically, if I'm on me phone, and I'm looking online, I look at stuff, or why I've done this to myself, why I'm in a shop, and I want to just leave the shop immediately. But then when I'm at home looking online, I can't shop. I'm fucking terrible at shopping. Yeah, you are. I'm just fine at shopping. You're obviously not able to do all my stuff now. I think that's-- But you don't know how to do it. She bought all of this. I think so. Thank you. [LAUGHTER] Like all of it. Is this marriage counselling? What is that? Yes. What a funer-havoc. What are you-- what do you enjoy buying? And like, what-- So just buy tops? Yeah, I buy a lot of t-shirts. Yes. I buy a lot of t-shirts and got quite a lot of sort of shackets. Yeah, I love a shacket. I love a court, me. Oh, yeah, I love a court. I love a coat, I love a shacket. Yeah. My mum bought my dad a shacket, but she got confused halfway through telling me and she told me that she bought a mishampa. She knew it was two words put together, but she hadn't quite-- She hadn't quite-- She was like, yeah, I-- A shumper. You know what? I mean, a shumper. I was like, oh, I love you so much. Oh, God. I love that. A shumper. Yeah, I love that. I don't know how to do that. It's a two-to-year shumper would be either a wall shirt or maybe a like a jogging button. Ah, have a shumper. Do you? Ah, have a jumper tight material that's got a collar. Yes. Do you remember when they were really in for men? Yeah. Like a rug atop. Yeah, yeah. I'm thinking of-- Do you remember when they used to sew in a collar? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it would look like-- Do you know what I'm talking about? No, I don't know. It would look like a hat, yeah. I do. I do. I do. I need to leave. Is that a wrap? A couple of patterns. I thought it's crazy. I remember, can I remember my other billionaire on? This is Ruffle. And she left half of his room. And then she created that shumper and-- Yeah. Remember, we never saw-- You know what you're saying? She bought an island. You know Shumar Island. Oh, I thought I'd invented something the other day. Oh, what was it? Genuinely. Because I do a lot of emails in the car. Sure. Just didn't know why the fuck I've got on this. She was busy. She didn't know I was doing a lot of things. No, no, no. Last five minutes, what she's doing, Susie? She's leaving the last fucking minute and doing more emails on me. I'm just scared. I've got more energy. I don't know why. Do you need a deadline? Are you like this? Oh, my God. I need a deadline. Oh, fuck me. Oh, God. Don't give me a month. Oh. Because I'll do it a day before. No way. Yeah. Could you give these Q&A's back to us? You can do it by Friday. Yeah. Yeah. 10 to 5 on Friday. I'm like-- Come on. Get the adrenaline. Oh, yeah, I'm like that. But I was checking my emails in the car. No, no driving. I promise you. I promise. And then I was like, wouldn't it be great if you could just have like a table on the wheel to put your laptop on. It fully-browned. Attached to the wheel. A table. It's already. Yeah, they exist. Yeah, what? He exists with cup holders on and everything. People do the partake of ways. Yeah. Fuck. I don't know. So they exist. I'm really sorry. It's OK. It must have been a real high. And then a day. I genuinely was like, this is it. And then. And she come back out. She's actually got to go on now. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a good story. Rosie, I don't think you've really thought this through. It's fine. Do you know what? I arrive on the drive so many times in your just on the drive sitting here. I do emails. Just sitting there. I can't drive. I pull up my hat and I look and she's just in the other car. I'm like, what the fuck? Just sit there. I think because when I go on the house, it's just loads of stuff to do. Yeah. That's what it is, I think. and like just shit. Kids. - Yeah, I'm totally nervous. - We've got two kids. We've got one daughter. - One, just daughter. - How old? - Five. - Nice. - We've got five, how old? - Oh my gosh, five. - Yeah, great. - Good age. - Yes, really good. - Yeah. - Yeah, she's super fun. It's lovely. I mean, it's Nackerin. - Yeah, of course. - I can't walk out, I keep trying to work out, if I'm in the Peri-Menopores, or if I'm just in the duty-- - Just talking about that. - With just talking about that. - Face of my life. - No. - She wasn't just talking about that, was he's always talking about that, carry on. - Oh my gosh. - You don't mind me asking? - I'm 40. - You're 40, yeah. - Whether I'm, I can't work out whether I'm just like, "What I'm on tour, and I'm writing stuff, and I'm a mum." So that's a lot of busy things to be doing. - Yeah. - Or whether my energy level was dropping off. - They are because I had my first one at 29, and I was a lot happier than I am now. - Just happier is in-- - Just, no, just-- - I mean, I just dealt with it better. - I'm not sure what it is. - I don't want to be better. - No, I don't want to be better. - No, it's true. I dealt with it better. - You dealt with what? - Parenting in general. - Just life. - Life. - Really? - Like I was just a bit happier. - You've got a bad thing. - I was just doing fuck all. - I was not doing fuck all. - What were you doing? - I worked on the radio for six months. - Right, okay. - Lock all of it. Are you honestly going to do this to me? - I'm not, all I'm saying is you've got a lot of responsibilities and pressure now. - Maybe. But I just think I'm all done and I might be going through the very men's balls. - How do you? - I'm going to be 40 in August. - Same age. - 86 values. - Yeah. - What do you mean? - January. - Nice. - I'm already done. - What date? - 18th. - Okay. - My best friend is the air seventh. I'm 30th of August. - Oh, so you were one of the littlest people in the audience. - Oh my god, I was literally like, did terrible in my GCSEs. Didn't do a copy through my whole way through school because-- - Well, my friends are all teachers and they're like, "Rosey, you. " Like, because I always say, I really struggled at school. I couldn't keep up and they were like, "Yeah, because you were a year younger than everybody else." - Yeah. - And I'm like, "Oh my god." - I wish I had stayed back and-- - I buy that in the infant school. I don't buy that when you're 15, 16. I just don't buy it. - Yeah, because you're always a year behind. If you're compusing-- - But you've been doing the same stuff. - Yeah, but my arm-- - I was like-- - So what's arm? August the third. And I got fucking great GCSEs. - Oh, god. - Maybe it just stupid. - Oh, you're gonna go on them 27 days. You had 27 days younger than me. - I'm August the third and I had an E*2 is 5Bs5Cs. - You still talking about it. - I'm just-- - I have achieved nothing since then. (all laughing) - Oh, it's a bit of a, I'm just not that clever. - Yeah, you're just super-- - She's just been really nice to you. - No, I felt school really hard as well. I hated school. - Did you? - Yeah, I felt school very difficult. But I'm dyslexic as well. - Oh, you're dyslexic. - Oh, no. - That is nice. - It's nice. - But I can imagine, because my brother-- - Cool, yeah, it is. And I didn't realise that. - No, I don't think so. - That's fine. - My brother's dyslexic as well. But never really got any sort of help at school. - Oh, you got 15 minutes extra in exams. But they did just sort of make you throw out the thick kid. They're like, "Okay, so that's finished except for everybody in this school." - No way. - Hello, you're-- - No, so I knew you all got up and left. - You're about everyone else got up and left. And then I was like, I've got another 15 minutes to like look at these questions that mean fuck all Red Yeah, that's a no idea. Yeah, I'm dreadful. I can't do that extra 15 fucking minutes Yeah, not medically you're just stupid Lizzy No, no, I don't know like couples there are Oh my god, all this is Tell us about you show this is why you're here You're on you are you on to an hour you're going on to it. I'm on to it cover Yeah, I am the joggle. It's called the job because you have to name your show before you write it The horrible in it. Yeah, absolutely horrible. Yeah, the classic thing and then I knew that it would be I mean like any of us like Doing a job being a parent then we're all set that a door our parents getting a little bit older Not I have to look after even my parents at all now, but like I'm just sort of more aware of that There's just a lot of things that I'm and I don't think this is Specific to people that work in our industry. I think it's anyone and so it started off sort of being there I had bits and bobs about that sort of trying to do a lot of things and then the show sort of shifted while I was in while I was doing warm-up shows of it and What the broad thing of what the show's about is as a situally I've got a five-year-old daughter. She's brilliant and She currently has the highest opinion of me of anyone in the world. Oh, she thinks I'm great. Yeah, they do Oh, they do for a while. Yeah, she thinks I'm brilliant. Yeah, and the show Is about me trying to be as good as she thinks I am So it's really It's nice and it's nice and broad. I had lots of stories that I could already dip into I had stuff about myself growing up that I'd never told on stage before stories about you know The the point where you realize your parents are just having a go You know because I feel like a day will come when she goes. Oh, you're just trying it this you don't know what the fuck you're doing Yeah, and I remember the moment that I thought that about my dad And so I had these bits and bobs and I wanted to it's a really theatrical show So there's like there's lighting states and voice things and Love that. Yeah, well, I'm from like a theater. Yeah, well, I'm from a theater. Yeah background I went to drama school and then growing up and did lots of musical theater was really like heavily into musical theater as a kid and so I wanted to do a show that was I've done a lot of sort of stand-up shows I just stand up. This is like my fifth or sixth tour sixth tour and I really loved those shows and I'm always super physical, but this time I was like I want to write like a theater show It's like a one-woman show like it's definitely stand-up is definitely found you all the way through but like I got a theater director Love that you know, I never need help writing my stand-up I always it's always just me that writes my stand-up But I wanted someone to look at it would like are you gonna have a lighting change here? Oh my god, and you could do that here and it goes like Please come you're very welcome whenever you want to come but yeah, so it's um I'm really proud of it. I'm really proud of it Because look there are shows where you are like I think this is a good show I think the show stands up. I'm really and you have different show but at the moment I think I'm a I'm like it. I'm the best. This is the best show that I've done for me Because it is like it's something a bit more theatrical it's something a bit more like the characters big I can do big act out. It's very physical and And it's the first time I've ever done both 45s usually I'd take support with me But I was like I want to do both 45 so it's like oh Is it professional? It's a proper mean sure while surely on a day would just don't know how fucking awful that is I'm not joking. I've done it a couple of times. I've had to go off after that first 45 and I honestly would pay Any money in the world and not have to go back on so fair play it. You're like yeah, I mean honestly I've not got the support on sorry. I get the support on half the interval I want to do an hour and ten I go Really you don't you don't see them before the interval Yeah, I'm going for her no, no, no, so he'll go on colleges and goes on Yeah, then me our intent done but people that come and see you must know the calls on because you guys have told together for years Right. Yeah, yeah, well, I give them a big up in the I do one off stage I get the big up in their thing you know, welcome and if you've seen me before he was great And he's brilliant. Yeah, you can turn you can turn the deadest audience in the world in an audience ready for a show He's fantastic. Yeah, brilliant I remember doing a weekend at the store with him years ago I've only got in the handful of times yeah, he was just really just a couple of really nice chats and I've already seen him since you know You're like oh, this is nice. You're nice. Let's have a little chitchat and he'd be at a nice time together I do two forty five. Mm-hmm. That is that that's big boy pants that like you reckon I think it is I think that's proper Because again, meanwhile we just told him how well I got I don't want to do it I don't want to go back out. It's like what are you doing the interval and what is what are you doing the interval? I I do a crossword So that I don't look at my phone That's brilliant. So the show's I taped the show in front of me Yeah, when I'm doing my makeup and I'll just like just gently look at it So I know that it's there and then during the interval I have a cup of tea sometimes I'd a little bit of chocolate Just keep the sugar up nice and then I'll do a crossword. That's really good because I I kind of hate my phone. Yeah, yeah I love it. Yeah, I mean it's really difficult and it's and there was a period where I would like go on stage during the intervals of my shows And now I don't go on my I know I don't go on Instagram or anything after the shows because what I found that I started doing Was that I'd have a tour show and I'd be like that was great. They were laugh. They all clapped That was lovely and then I'd get in the car for the journey home and I'd go on to Instagram and I'd need people to tell me again How great I am. I was like this is insane Like the moment they were laughed. Yeah, they all clapped It's the most honest instant feedback you'll ever get absolutely But then it was like well that that well can never be full. Yeah, if I need to if I've just been told that I did a great show And then I need to tell me in a different way to be honest to a different medium You're gonna possibly get out of that that you didn't get in the room is the one person in the back left hand corner Who you didn't say you didn't like it who maybe is gonna tell you that you Didn't or I don't need that in my life. Oh, I'll just go 400 people into it. Yeah, they all up. They've but I've only had 10 messages Yeah, you go that's insane. Oh, no, I can't yeah, we can't look like Why don't they tell me it's okay? Yeah, like how much can how much can I be told that? What what what what I don't know the percentage on that? No, my god It's crazy. It's like you can't I think that I mean, I don't know if it's the same with you Chris do like stand up stand like whether like it's it's so much So much of my stand up and you might be the same for you Rosie like so much of my Self-worth has always been so heavily linked to my career Yeah, that like I got to a stage where I was like I really need to like not make this Like it it needs to I need to do like the show be proud of the show the show is the work Mm-hmm, and then kind of everything that happens around that. Yeah, I have to kind of like let go I've never actually heard it said like that. Yeah, but um mine isn't I have to but I think yours. I don't want to speak for you I think you're I think you put a lot of self-worth on how you're doing in your career. Yeah Mine's my mine's my mom and dad. I love that mine is like is like my daughter says that Honestly and and I don't know I don't know if my parents know the power they have on us in a lovely way Mm-hmm like genuinely is What it's just nice. Oh, no just as long as my mom and dad like are proud of his and like happy with what I'm doing That's I don't really care about anybody else's What's that big is that yeah? Yeah, oh my god, I was pretty amazing. I need strangers to tell me I'm brilliant. I'm talking No, I don't mean to go deeper. It's just a true like I think let's go deep. Yeah, let's go Yeah, no, I think that I think that yeah my worth has always been the price other people have given me and so I But you know I I have had to sort of work out how to not Mm-hmm do that because otherwise I think that you want because that that opens you up to be and so obviously if you get negative That must be really really hard. Yeah, I like which it which I know it is I mean I this isn't an invitation by the way Listeners if you've ever seen me and not liked me, but I've rarely had sort of anyone being like you're terrible at standup Even though I'm sure some people don't like what I do, but I've never really had that The only stuff that I've ever got is like Sort of really horrible homophobia and so that that's sort of the weird thing of like Oh, God. Well, if I take everyone else's opinion do you really hate me and you really don't like yeah, so it's you just got to be Mindful of like I think especially when you're like Going on stage every night like stand up is so revealing. Yeah, you're you are naked. Yeah, I mean, I've got clothes on Yeah, like it's really in the moment. It's really in the room You can't really you can't sort of it's not like if you're in a play with lots of other people and you can oh You can't hate for me. Yeah, and so it's like what your day is your day. It's it's hard I've never done it, but when we did the two air yeah, cuz you did the live show Don't need to the live show and the second half of the show was completely unscripted And I was just I remember some nights gone Like I'm used to singing and dancing on stage. I do not just having something to fall back on and it was fucking terrifying So I've never done actual stand up comedy back and imagine like well. I think it's a similar thing. It's just the ex how exposing it can feel So you've never had anyone telling you like online at your barricot you mustn't be getting my messages You know In the days of Twitter and I'm sure people have been like I didn't get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah You don't get it like that's that's okay Like I guess the ones that I've received have been, it's more about people that I want to like me, telling me I'm good at stuff. - No, I get it. - I get it. But, I don't know you were learning that. I think that's a normal feeling. I think everybody too next-dent. And I think it's very normal for stand-ups. Definitely. I think that the more I meet the more I understand. - Little fucking poppies. - Yeah. - Good poppies. - Exactly. Exactly. Little dancing dogs. Oh, for sure. - Oh, he's a lot of people. - Get my taps out. - What's your favourite musical theatre show? - Oh, that's hard. - Or top three if you want. - No, no, no. I mean, it depends what day it is. Love a bit of sondheim. - Oh, yeah. - You know, love a bit of sondheim. Love a bit of companies. Probably my favourite sondheim music. - No. - Love a chorus line. Love the opening number. - Lovely. - It's great. Watched a lot of that when I was a kid. Like, watch and listened to a lot of that as a kid growing up. Then, you know, love the big shows. Love a bit of Lymus. - Sure. - That's my favourite and also, like. - Oh, there's Miss Aboles. - There's Miss Aboles. - Love, there's Miss Aboles. - Love it. - You've seen Lymus. - Yeah, yeah. - It's great. - Yeah. - But I'll go and see anything. - Yeah, see him. - You know, and I love watching people like being, I love watching people like, I think you can tell when you watch a show, like people like thriving. - Oh my God. - People like doing like the thing that they can laugh. It's a lovely thing to witness. - It's unreal. - Are you enjoying the tour? - I'm loving it. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I don't know about you, but during, I mean, it feels like a thousand years ago now, but I remember during lockdown when we couldn't gig. A lot of my comedy mates were like, "Oh, it's great not again." I really missed it. - I was devastated. - I feel like we were like now. - My first gig after Strictly. So, what did Strictly did all the dancing and then the Strictly Lord did the tour, the arena tour, the Strictly tour, which they asked us to go on numerous times, but I said, "No, I'm writing me stand up to her." We'll just have done this. So, I'm going to stand up to her. My first night in March was Hacley Empire, sold out that night. He told people not to go to restaurants and bars. - For the gig? - No. - I didn't cancel the show. - Yeah, Chris had a breakdown. - A full breakdown. - Like, I was on an album. - Well, I had the thankfully podcast that was going on a birthday cake a week. - Well, there you go. - I was just going on the show. - What kind? - Just a media response, just, you know, suddenly head shell cake, mario cake, whatever happened to be in the shops. To the point of way, when we birthday rolled around, and I wasn't asked about cake, 'cause I'd been having more of a week. - I didn't actually get your cake, maybe. - I didn't get one, 'cause it's what a point. - Well, you had type 2 diabetes, by then. (laughing) (laughing) - Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadoo. - But yeah, I feel like we're cut from the same cloth in that we like, love it. - Yeah. - I love it. - Yeah, you've got a little spark. - I've got a little spark back. - Yeah, I didn't do it for ages, 'cause we got, we did the podcast. - You did the podcast. - Right? - And I just didn't do one. I've been amazing, 'cause I've stayed at home loads to, I went five-year-old. I fucking changed more of his nappies than I did of the 10-year-old. I'm telling you, man, 'cause when the 10-year-old, I went back on tour, when he was 10 days old, didn't I? But the youngest one of them seemed. - Oh, my God, that copy, yeah. - It was crazy, yeah. - Yeah. Now that I'm back, I'm like probably a month and a bit into the tour, and I'm absolutely buzzing to be back. - Yeah, it's a great question. - Here's a question. I just talked about this on our recent podcast. I still have moments on stage, where I'm on their talk, and I look out in the crowd, and I see them all sitting in the little seats, and they're looking at us and laughing, and I think, "What the fuck are you not doing here?" "What are you doing?" "Sitting listening to me talk." "What the hell?" "And I can't believe me look about that there." - Yeah, I do. Yeah, I still get that. - I like this. - This is mad. - Yeah, I love that. - I see them coming in. - Yeah. - And I'm like, "What the fuck?" - Yeah. I feel like, I think it's a privilege. I think it's not cool, is it, to be like, I love, like, the cooler thing to do in Comedy is to be like, "Oh, audience is a really hard work." And I think to be kind of down on it. - Yeah. - But I fucking love it. I love doing Comedy. I thought I'm so lucky that I get to do this with my life. - That's a lush. - It's such a job in the world. - That's brilliant. - It's such a joy. - You're like coming in and talking to everyone. We love it, it's the only way. - It's really, it's a lovely thing to be able to do, and to do something so creative. It's just, yeah, it's great. I love it. - Good, I'm glad. I'm glad. - It's on here. This really random photo-factor. - Oh, great. - What is this one? It says you embarrassed yourself in front of Melcy. - Oh, yeah, I did. - What is this? - That was in my last tour show in that I, so I had a crush on Melcy when I was growing up. - Right. - Didn't we all? - Sure, right. And I thought she was gay in my, like, sort of 13-year-old head, because I was like, she's got tracksie bottoms on. - She's so gay. - She can do a backwards walk over. I mean, I guess that means she's gay. - Was she ever gay? - No. - She's always gay. - No, I see ever gay. - But yeah, but you do have vibe. - I don't know these amounts. - Yeah. - But she certainly has a slight vibe. - Yes. - Yeah. - You know, she's got the tattoo game around me. I mean, sure. And I mean, if you've ever been to one of that gigs, I mean, it's wall-to-wall dikes. But honestly, not a sausage inside. It is. - You're all together. - You're everyone else. - I'll sell the Zim. - I think Zim's-- - All wall dikes is an incredible review. All these shit. I've never heard that phrase in my life. - It's not really a phrase. - It is no. - Yep. - Take that on Dragon's Den. - It's a nice, so I'll let you have wall-to-wall dikes. - So, yeah. So I had a bit of a crush on Melcy as I was growing up. And then, if not that long ago, I'd not long been opening on the road with the Alan Car. So I used to wave in for Alan a lot. And he knew I was a massive spice girls fan. And all music of that era. And then Alan rang me one day and was like, I've got tickets to go and see all saints. Do you want to come? And I was like, yeah, definitely want to come. It's like, it's a cocoa. It's like a really small gig. And I've got a ticket for the friends and family area. And I was like, yes, Alan, I will be there with you. So I went to the Zow's plus one. And then, and then he was like, oh, Melcy's behind us. And I was like, and I couldn't really believe it. And I, have you ever had that? 'Cause I think sometimes we're doing our job. You meet other famous people that are like in your world. So we've all met all the stand-ups. Yeah, I mean, you met all the same. Even so that's what you watch growing up. Yeah, yeah. You know, like, oh my God, that's sort of no Jack D. That's cool. Yeah. Or, you know, you know, these people, I don't know, I'm like, I'm back in time, but that's weird. And then, but then with someone that's like, it's another level, isn't it? Yeah. And like, you know, that fandom that you only really get when you don't have a life. You know when you're a kid. Oh, God, I love the spice girls. I've seen them live. Like, yeah, like, and like, with the spice girls, I remember I used to think, oh, God. I would have fantasies where I would think, God, I'd love it. If the spice girls tore us like, broke down outside my house. And I'd actually like, come and have a cup of tea at my house. Yeah. I'd have these like, you know, like, - like, you do. - And they had dreams. - Yeah. - of that anyway. - This is 10, you were 11. - Yeah, it's all the way around. - Yeah, exactly. And so, Alan was like, oh, soos. And he was like, which one of me are? And I was like, yeah, yeah, I do. And then he took me over to her. And she's, you know, really nice. She was like, oh, hi, I'm now. And I was like, now I'm like, this is soos. She's a stand-up shape and she's like, oh, you're like, see, you're a stand-up, that's cool. And I was like, and I didn't, I couldn't speak. Stop it, you didn't see anything. The only time in my life that I've ever not been able to speak. I was like, oh, my God. And there was quite a lot of silence. - That's fucking revoling. - Yes, really great. It's an egg, for sure. And then after a while, the only thing I managed to say was, you mean a lot to me and you're always well. She's just like, yeah. - That's a fucking man. - Yeah. Oh. No, it's terrible, isn't it? And then Alan went, oh, she's gone. We're, I'll take her away. It's terrible, isn't it? I was so embarrassing. I've met her again since. - Oh, thank God. - So much cooler. And obviously she didn't remember me to me because I imagine people do that to her every day because she's a spice girl. But yeah, I just, it was the only time I've ever been like, what did you see? I love you so much and you mean a lot to me. You mean a lot to me and you're always well. I mean, it was so. Oh, God, it was me. It's the always will. I really put the fucking stuff in. - Yeah, sure you were. And I always, yeah. - The cute thing is, is that. - I love that it was Alan Carr. Sorry, I love that it was Alan Carr. I've just gone, oh, we're at a time. We're at what? - Oh, sorry, so. - I'm weird. - Don't be a word. - Don't. - But then the very sweet thing is that, after my show's at the moment, I'm doing a signing 'cause I've just done a book. And a couple of people have said to me, when I'm signing a bit, they say, mean a lot to me always well. - That's nice. - I mean, they saw the last two as well. It's just really, I love that. - Yeah, it's really good. - Yeah, I bear with myself in front of a spice girl. - That's fine. I think you were allowed to, like, their mega stars. - Yeah, it's good. - You know what I mean? I don't even know what I would do, like, I just. - I was once open with Joe Lysert and Mel B was in the audience. - Wow. - And then she came backstage afterwards. - Sure. - Yeah. - And we were chatting. And then she put me on her Instagram. And I was like, oh, I saw this comedian and she's a rough, she was so funny. And for my agent, Rangmey was like, like, we can carry on working, but you might want to retire now, like. - I don't know. - Like, you're letting it in a funny way. Like, I don't know if it'll get better. I mean, yeah, it's very good. - I'm at Mel, but I told you about Mel when I met Mel B. So I did, I did lip sync battle. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - And she was the host, her and her green were the hosts. And then afterwards she was so cool and so lovely. And she was like, oh my God, you're so funny, blah, blah. And she was like, if you've got a DVD, I had me DVD with me first DVD. And she was like, I'd love that. Can I have, can I have it? And I gave her it. And I've never seen a sense. (laughing) - Never, when you came. - I've never seen a sense. I've never heard anything from her. I imagined she either lost it or watched it and hated it. And all of a sudden, I hope she's forgotten and I hope I never see her again because seeing a spice girl again years late and she and gone Did you see me DVD? Yeah, it would be That's really nice that I'm really good at resting dead and rested dead yeah, I was like Oh my god, no, please just talk to me Yeah, we got together what the fuck yeah, yeah, it was mad Oh God, that's gross. Yeah, how long you got how long have you guys been together? 12 years and 13 and how long have you been doing stand up? Nearly 20 years really yeah next year it'll be 20 years. I was in the 2007 Chautel student comedian competition grander so yeah, so there'll be there'll be two decades next year so Chris was a stand up when you met him yeah, sorry, yeah, you were yeah, you were but you were my first one Well like 13 but I was a stand up. Yeah, we live in the same home town. I haven't I haven't been doing it. You weren't like I said give it a square. What's going to be do? No, that was one Together. Yeah, yeah, what were you doing when we got together first got together? You're about to see that I wasn't that doing that Well as a comedian, not I didn't see not doing that well. Sorry, I have to stop it here. This is a Disgusting. I think you'll find the night we met I had my one VIP section in our local nightclub so sure She is full of fibs right and that the IP section. How was that cordoned off? It was a couple of ropes I brought from home. Sure. It was just a red little thing. Red section up in the corner of dusk Best in peace. Oh my god. Teen knocked down. I think it's a weather spurs. Yeah, I was impressed. Yeah, I mean sure. You know what I mean? It would be so easy. He's only human. Yeah, right. Yeah. I had them velvet ropes. Kaline. I had been to a really bad broke up though. Do you remember? Yeah, with the guy who didn't have his one VIP section. Yes, but times. Yeah, it's funny. You did not need that VIP section. No one for coming. I think you don't set up you choose ones. A couple of times. Well, I wasn't a friend of the sure steers, but I definitely had. True true true. And we've got us. You're going to do a story. Yes, this is grim. Yeah, we do. We don't know. We don't know. We've never seen them. Okay. Do you want some Rosie? Yes, please keep me anonymous always. I live in Sheffield. About 10 years ago. I was out celebrating my best friend's birthday. I was pregnant at the time and very sober. I popped at the toilet in the club for a wee. When I'd finished, I wiped with what was the last of the Louro. As I opened the door of the cubicle, a girl flopped through the main door of the toilet. She'd obviously been on a particularly heavy session. She scrambled into an open cubicle, dropped trow with the door wide open. So as I was standing in the basin, I could clearly see her in the reflection of the mirror. I washed my hands and was reapplying lipstick when I realised the girl had finished and was looking for toilet roll. I turned around to see if any other cubicle cause had toilet roll, but no joy. What happens next seemed to go in slow motion. As I turned back to tell her there wasn't any paper. She. Oh my god. I don't know. This is very well written. I can see the place. It's extremely grim in my head. It's a nightclub. Yeah, it says there's a little PS. It says Chris Ramsey had a little area of cordoned on. Sorry, not in Sheffield. I knew that in my hometown, not in Sheffield. There's no chance I'd get a VIP section in Sheffield. Long lived dusk. Yes. Long lived dusk. Rest in peace. She's pregnant on a nightclub. What she's doing. Right. I'm going to go on a limb here and I'm going to see her. She used her own dress to wipe our ass. I was going to see if she'll shut herself. So yeah, maybe I took a neck. As often through them down the thing. Possibly. There's no toilet roll. What would you do with this? You've been the toilet. Which presumably she's any other way. She's had a shake. I'd just shake that in a row. Yeah, if it's a way. Yeah, if it's a way, you just give it a shake. Possibly kind of wipe myself on my underwear. There it is. It goes in the wash tonight. Of course. But you wash yours. I'm on a minute. No, I've got no idea. It's so much worse. Oh my god. Is it? It's so much. It's it. It's upset me. That's that's the tree. I fell upset by this. It's a pleasure to come. The male seething and then this. Okay. God, it's worse. Ready. Yes. She had pulled out a used pad from the overflowing sanitary bin beside her and began to wipe. Go and get no my jaw dropped. She then quick as a flash placed it back in the bin jumped up pulled up her trousers and left the toilet leaving me stood alone in the toilets to reflect on what I witnessed. That is absolutely. I love that's very really shook. That's horrible. Yeah, she could get a disease. Yeah. Oh god, that awful. Okay. I mean, I'm really sad. Yeah, that's really bad. I've really. I've got all caught. We've had a really nice time in that. We had a lovely time. I opened up to you about Melsey. Yeah. I talked about how much I love stand up. Yeah. I got deep about my mom and dad. Yeah. And then some fucking disgusting bitches waiting. I've got a job. It used. So much tell. So much tell. Yeah. She's sharing a needle. Oh. I'm going to say I'll see it's worse to share. If you're a certain like I mean. There's something about period blood. Your own is fine. All right. Maybe somebody else who you really fucking love is all but a string jazz period blood. Yeah. I mean, she's got a Hepsi. Yeah. That's the way that's the least. Yeah. Oh, the fuck. Yeah. Anyway, this episode is in loving memory of that girl. Yeah. Who didn't always make great choices, but no, I have to have a good night. I actually followed through. She. Well, I know. Yeah. I just use your lickers. Okay. God. I have to go. So is your ruffle. You mean so much. Thank you very much. God. Are we leaving on that? I know I'm so. Jesus. I haven't even told you about the fact that Chris was the first person I ever knew that had an iPad. But is that true? It's why I always think of when I think of you. You're way. I'm so. He's always been a spoiled brat. You were doing new material at gig. I think in Newcastle and I was very green. I was quite new. You've been doing stuff a little bit longer than me. And you were like, you were closing, but you were trying new stuff. And I was hosting. And you took an iPad on stage. And I thought, God, he must be doing so well. I think that most times when I see you. It's fantastic. First person I ever met that had an iPad. I've never been like, yes, like, yes, just like, yeah, and I've been like, oh my God. He's written up his mater. And that's why I went out with you. Yeah. Wasn't that. Velvet Ravs. My guest list for the Velvet Roops section was on an iPad. Yeah. And it just said your name. Isn't it funny? Like, because I was stuck with that person never knows. I thought it was. As soon as they like, do you want to kiss my eyes? It's like, yeah, I'd love to. And then like that. Do you know what this is? You're not so awful about me. This is why I'm a disgusting hypocrite. If I was a gig now and someone went on with an iPad, I'd be like, look at that. Fuck and won't you? Well, I mean, everyone did think that. Ah, yes. I'm still new. But I'm already new. See what's been locked me away as well. Thank you so much for coming on. See my pleasure.