MBMBaM 837: Quantum Cornhole

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? One, two, three, four! It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed, it's ripened into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like. My life, it's better, it's better with you. It's better with you, this is true. It's better, it's better with two. My life, it's better with you. Hello everybody and welcome to My Brother, My Brother, Me and Advice Show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. Oh me? What up, Trav Nation? I'm your middle-aged brother, Travis Big Dog, Wolf Wolf, Vroom Vroom, The Heater, award-winning McElroy. I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy. Have you guys. We've just had the moment since we started putting up our full video episodes of MBM for our members on YouTube where, I don't know, since I go third in the intro, sometimes I feel like I can just kind of stare into the middle distance until it's my turn to talk. But now there's the ever-looming thread of like, people might be seeing this, I can't dig out a wedgie, I can't, you know, hit my big vape right before, you know, like I usually do. Since the My Brother, My Brother, Me, See, So, Hit TV show, have I been so aware. Since the My Brother, My Brother, Me, See, So, Hit TV show, have I been so aware of the fact that my engaged listening face makes it look like I'm thinking about inevitable death? Yeah, sure. And it's, I mean, any given day, it's one or the other. You gotta stop watching yourselves. You gotta find better stuff on YouTube to watch. But I'm so handsome. Yeah, Travis looks so good. You gotta stop watching your own. You can't eat your own brand. Hey, I wanted to tell you guys, I didn't expect this to be a segment, but I'm really excited to tell you that. Last week, Kiss and Pitbull came out with the worst song ever. Yeah. We're gonna call them the stars. Their couple name is Piss. Piss. Yeah. Yes. Kiss came out with Reach for the Stars, which is a combination of, it doesn't matter, it's a really shitty list in the last week. Yeah. But, not to be undone by the worst song ever, our friend Kid Rock came to. Well. Sorry, our best friend, Kid Rock, came to. Honorary. Honorary. Honorary Lieutenant of the Air Force, Kid Rock. And I'm Space Force Commander Kid Rock. In a segment, I now am forced to call Detroit Schlock shitty. Wow, Juice! Yeah, well, because it's building from Kiss into Kid Rock, right? Yeah, man. Detroit Schlock shitty. Because it's not just Kid Rock on this track, which is religious, from the album Halfway to Jesus. Is this another. Is this another collab? Can I guess? Is it DJ Khaled? You're so close. You couldn't be any closer if you tried, because it's Eminem. Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. A lot of Michigan realness on this one. Yes, this is why the name. So, I can't. We can't play it, obviously, because we'll get copyright strict, but it's called Heal My Faith, and I will tell you. I'm going to give you. I'm going to give you Rock's chorus. Lord, Lord above, shine your light, show me love. Please let me in, heal my faith, forgive my sins. That's the chorus. It's twice. That's awesome. That's awesome. And then there's this. This is, put your hands in the sky, fuck off, like all the great Christian. Wait, is that Marshall? Does Marshall say that? I think Marshall says, fuck off. Is it a rebuttal? Wait, sorry. Yeah. Is it him being like, I didn't know what the song was when I signed up for it. Actually, fuck off. That would actually be great if. Hey, guys. Guys, canonically, there is justification in the text. So, I'm actually not going to tell you what Kid Rock says, because it's fucking garbage. It includes. Here's this. Build outward from fly higher than high eagle eye in the sky, okay? So, build outward in shitty directions from that, okay? Yeah, you don't get much higher than that. Okay, and then Eminem's. Eminem would like to do his verse. Yeah. Now, Eminem spends much less time. Much less time talking about his walk with Christ. Uh-huh. All right. And much more time explaining why he's doing the song. I've never seen someone explain why they are doing a song in a song to the extent that Marshall has. Okay, here's Marshall's verse. Okay, I probably used to bump the Polyfuse method. Now, what's that? I'm going to do a little genius for you guys, okay? Polyfuse method is a Kid Rock album. I probably used to bump the Polyfuse method. Like, every two seconds. The Prodigal Son was a huge record. Grit sandwiches for breakfast. This rhyme reminds me. The year was 1997 when I was grinding. A silver lining. Finally, a tiny light is shining. But it's so bright, it's blinding. Yeah. The Viper Room release party from ICD, the Slim Shady EP, Kid came to see me. I was nobody. He came to my show to see me. It was dope because it seemed like a sign from Jehovah. To me. How? Because then I got signed. Dre ultimately saved my life. But what Kid did emotionally when he showed up was he gave me hope. He told me to keep going. I did. Fast forward to three months later. We both in California and we are staying at the same apartments, the Oakwoods. And he was recording. I want to take a brief note here. I'm reading this. I'm not adding or subtracting anything. You're not doing it. This is in his exact sort of his traditional meter. I'm adjusting the cadence and the meter, but this is lyrically exactly what he says. Months later. For the rest of this clip, for the rest of the lyrics, I want you to picture that Mr. Mathers is sitting with a gentleman's magazine, perhaps a GQ. A pipe. He's talking to his grandkids. You see grandkids. And they've just asked a question like, what are your thoughts? What kind of headspace are you in to record this? And he's been talking now for like 20 minutes in the answer. And they're like, none of this is printable. Okay. Let's see. Months later, we both in California and we are staying in the same apartments, the Oakwoods. And he was recording at the same studio. Could it be another sign? I don't believe in coinkydinks. From Jehovah? Does he say coinkydinks? He does. Get out. Travis is imagining a far-flung future where Eminem. Is an old man doing his retrospective. I'm saying the future is now living it brought us closer to each other. We did the fuck off track and we never got the fuck off track. We both from the D and I never forgot that. So when you see the dick, it kind of seems like in that little bit, he remembered that he was supposed to be doing a rap verse. He was like, I should probably say something like we started off his sperm from the day. Yes. Yeah. So I never forgot that. So when you see someone like me having rocks back, because both of us be off our rockers, how far back we go. Because if we were tipping over, RIP to Joe to the C. Holy fuck. From shock rap to the rock rap, my homie and me. He's my brother, not my political enemy. Huh. Here's where it really, we are, he is, by the way, still explaining why he did this here. Yeah. Like he's still explaining it. B-O to the B, that's Bob, who's Kid Rock. We wrote this song for those who believe in G-O to the D, however you voted or lean, liberal and evangelical can agree. What can we agree on? And I think we can all, anybody listen to this or not listen to this, basically everybody. It's God first, home of the free, St. Joseph to the VA, shout out to Nashville. Good old Tennessee. So we can all agree on all. We can all agree on those four things. Those four things. Those four things, God first, home of the free, St. Good old Tennessee. Awesome. But don't need a Bible, if I can just finish, but don't need a Bible belt to turn the devil over my knee. Awesome. And then we hit the chorus again. He finishes straight, he always finishes so strong. What a wild time to make such a, that's a bold declaration of alliance. To one such as Mr., to look around yourself and be like, you know, this is the time to plant my flag. Yeah. Of saying, this man is not my political enemy. This may be a life debt, Valar Margulis situation where at some point Kid Rock stepped in to help Eminem out of a tricky scrape. And he gave him a token, a copper token. With his own face on it. And Joseph's face was on the other side. This all happened, he described it literally in the song, guys. It all happened when he's like. You don't have to theorize, he literally went beat by beat. did his diary entries for all the time they were living in the same apartments and recording in the same studio which was a sign from jehovah and he gave him a twinkie dink it ain't a copper token and he said i will come to you and i'll demand this token back and you will then owe me one favor and that will be to lay down one of the most sort of tracks one of the most verses in music history i want to take you guys back to i believe it was 2012 we were performing our first live show second city chicago right uh opening for jordan jesse go can you imagine looking out in the crowd and seeing kid rock there yeah i'm thinking well this is a sign from jesus this is definitely gonna be a jesus sign i'm using i'm using my humble servant bob b oh do you mean b o to the b mean b o to the b bob do you think marshall wishes his name had more fucking letters in it just so it would be kind of like more fun and interesting to wrap through i can't believe this is where we get the joe c dedication track we've all been waiting on the joe c dedication track from from anyone really and i can't believe this is where we get it in the middle of heal my faith heal my faith heal my faith wild thing that's not how faith works like if god i don't want to get on this soapbox for a moment no we we earned this if god shows up if god fixes your faith that stops being faith at that point right faith yeah not not since suck my kiss has a verb my noun been so confusing to me hit my bull and suck my kiss uh new on the track together i said i wasn't gonna play the song but um i did need to show you the outro from the lyric video because and they they just show you the lyrics around the screen so it actually saves a lot of trouble for me oh okay good yeah and i'll just like you guys will want to hear this isn't even really singing how do i have your attention i love eminem we've been friends for uh many years thinking differently and having the freedom to do so is what makes this country great god bless the usa okay can you read those lyrics aloud just in case our better angels decide we can't now that i have your attention i love eminem we've been friends for um many years and then eminem is in the background he says two white boys who spike punch and light joints thank you marshall thinking differently i like to think that like perhaps bob turned over his shoulder thank you marshall for that addition i appreciate that it is true we are two white boys who spike punch and light joints thinking differently and having the freedom to do so is what makes this country great god bless the usa awesome dude that's the american badass okay this is my childhood all right this guy is my whole child the rebel without a cause he's going platinum this guy was a he was a bad boy yeah yeah yeah he was a bad boy he's the baddest dude baddest dude for sure and his faith is sick and yeah we were all thinking this is a gofundme to heal his face why does god have something to show kid rock i feel like kid's whole thing should be like god i got a lot of makeup to you forget healing my faith i have i have really turned my back on you it occurs to me the b to the o to the b that perhaps you god have lost faith in me please allow me to heal your face i have to say of this entire project the most perplexing thing to me is marshall's constant interjections of fuck off in the background because i think that's going to stop it from getting radio play it's going to stop it from ending up in church commercials if such a thing exists i think that people are going to have a hard time not putting this in a secular column because of the the the profanity of this it's just it's not going to get on to for example wemm the local am christian music station i don't think unless there's a censored version and then a censored version of a christian song does beg the question i mean what are we doing here kid maybe it's a self-fulfilling prophecy of like and to illustrate how our faith needs to be healed yeah fuck off oh cool yeah maybe maybe it's an exorcism a live exorcism that's happening in the background of the track on marshall m what are you doing partner this the statement from bob rock at the end here yeah um when he says thinking differently makes me think imagine three people in a conversation and one person says i really enjoyed the batman starring robert pattinson i thought it was a good batman and the next person says i did not enjoy the batman film starring robert pattinson and the third person says i believe that people should be arrested for existing and should die because of who they are and the first to look at him and then he says yeah being able to think differently is what makes the country great hey it was a different thought from what the two of you had and bob rock says that's great bob rock loves that who who is the most likely i've been thinking about who if this bit is to continue it would require some other notion of i mean you can't be a notable detroit performer to suck harder than this song sucks is ted nugent a detroit boy you can't just guess at people that suck and hope for they're from detroit you gotta start from detroit and look for people that suck he was now that they can't suck up front is the other thing there has to be a heartbreak in there like oh i mean i don't know that we've had a lot of motown representation in this in this that's true and this is going to continue to be a space where i do not rag on motown artists this is gonna be a place where i stick to some of the white entertainers that i am comes out with a track where he's like i've got uh fucking uh uh ai herman cain in the background like you don't think that that deserves a spot in detroit here's what i'm hoping for it's the superbowl cut to ads right bang bang bang bang bang bang and you see jack white he's like now i'm into a one nation army yeah yeah the american white nationalist i'm jack white nationalist please join the one nation american army fuck dude you can't actually now i feel bad because i don't know jack white's politics enough to have given that i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure it's not one nation army presented by jack white nationalists yeah but i feel bad because it's such a good it's a really yeah like i bet they would love to co-op that if you really love to get on a little bit of daylight and people would just absolutely weasel their way in there for sure i mean you got the stooges that's a possibility uh if iggy pop wanted to uh do something truly disappointing out of the question not out of the question the temptations and supremes and spinners and stuff like i don't think any of those are the same people so i don't think i think they get whatever they can they can kind of scramble out is alice cooper still with us is alice cooper alice cooper is from milliwake which in algonquin means the great land he was born in detroit michigan according to the wikipedia article i've just pulled out i believe you're just quoting you're just quoting the wayne's quote of the great rain's world movie yeah alice cooper schools out for summer maybe maybe uh some sort of i don't know it wouldn't need to be political it just needs to suck because there's nothing political about reach for the stars except for the fact that it says you're just like elon musk i guess which is unfortunate i would say the only political thing about it is that he proudly compares himself to a conservative firebrand elon musk yeah that's the only stinker about it uh okay jack white or or uh or alice cooper alice cooper i guess the hunt the race is the race is on the race to the bottom i'm sorry it does say here on the internet the goober and the peas also another option there so we got that going for us uh this is an advice show my advice to marshall mathers is to just check the lyrics before you agree to the gig that would be my whole thing but my advice to uh bean bragging in boston well let me tell you first i gotta tell you the question it's the whole yeah i was at the park with my daughter and there was a game of cornhole set up on the lawn i've always been too afraid to try cornhole because it is an outdoor athletic game and i'm an indoor athletic guy it turns out i'm actually amazing at cornhole i was sinking shot after shot after shot and wow this person did put three after shot after shot after shot so they really wanted me to know that like a triple dunker yeah they were sinking them like wild and don't get me wrong it seems so easy you think they'd make you stand far away from the board yeah i was gonna say if you've never played you do not know the regulation it's both those grand prize game rules you start right next to it and then you take one step back with every score um i was thinking shot to shot the only person to appreciate my newfound talent was an unimpressed three-year-old Only kind there is. Brothers, how do I find ways to casually display my cornhole prowess and impress other adults? That's from Bean Bragging in Boston. First of all, the idea that cornhole is an outdoor athletic activity is not true. Not true at all. It's not difficult. You don't have to throw a cornhole bag 40 yards. It's strictly athletic. It is an athletic competition. I think versus chess or rummikub. It's an athletic contest that takes place outdoors. Compared against any game that involves moving legs. Well, sure. Or cardio or strength kind of at all. It's just a coordination sort of. But that's athletics. That's athletics. You can train at it physically to get better. You can't train physically at chess to get better. I think what you're trying to say. And it's true is that it's easy. The guys, cornhole is easy. That's the whole point. If you miss that cornhole, it will above the hole. It will slide down into a hole. This is a game that wants you to do well. The whole game of cornhole is people have to drink so much to make it difficult to not sink the thing. That's why so many people like cornhole because it's very easy to do. I guess I'm just saying cornhole doesn't make you tired or stronger. That is my. So you wanted to pull. I don't give you so much out. I just feel like I was right. I feel like I was super right on that. You're not right, though. I wish that there was a shorter word for not right. But it's like the thing is, Griffin, I'm not saying it's the most athletic of things, but on a scale. Yeah, yeah. Right. Where there's chess. It's it is an athlete. It is. God almighty. Now, I will say I've been in a position where a cornhole game is getting fired up. He's getting fired up. It's getting going. OK. And people are like, Travis, come play. And I can gauge that the three other participants are far more engaged. Not even too good. Just engaged to care about it to a degree. I simply do not. Yeah. Well, I would prefer that it be his choice to be bad at it. I don't want to participate in this. Right. With any expectations on me whatsoever. This is a tragedy, a modern tragedy, and perhaps another symptom of the male loneliness epidemic. And I know that. But that's falling out of fashion. Talk about the male loneliness epidemic, because we're really bringing this thing on ourselves, aren't we, fellas? But I am pretty good. Nobody else will hang out with us. I mean, it's right there in the name. Nobody wants to be around us. It's not our fault we're lonely. If only there was a way to explain why. There is no way. It's a total accident. Because it's an epidemic. It's an epidemic. You can't fight it. There's no vaccine for it, Travis. And we tried to isolate to stop it from spreading. Made it worse. The antidote was supposed to be pickleball. It wasn't enough. No. It didn't get enough. My senior year of college, I was fresh out of a long-term relationship. And I spent basically that whole year with Trav and our buds, Bob and Bradbury and a bunch of folks, playing beer pong every night. And I got really good at it. And I had a lot of fun doing it, because it's a fun game to throw ping pong balls in cups. It's universally really very fun. And then I grabbed a beer pong. Graduated college. And then I never, I don't think, played it really ever again. Because then I didn't have the squad to do it. I feel like this is a really common thing. Of just like, I flip cups so fucking good. And I have no opportunity to exhibit that skill for anyone. I got so good at slamming a Miller Highlife, the champagne of beers, in a count of three to beat people at drinking games. That's not something I can put on a resume now. No. Or do now. Or you'll die. Oh no, yeah. No, no, no, no. Any one of us would die if we slammed a Miller Highlife in not even three seconds. If we nursed it over a half hour period. Yeah, no, no, no. I have a beer now and develop a headache 45 minutes later. Yeah, we need to, there needs to be a third space where we can come and we can play these tailgate activity games without the expectation that we're going to go to a football game afterwards. Or that we're going to eat a bunch of chicken wings. If you want to eat chicken wings, you can. But it's, these things are so. They're so intrinsically linked. And just because I'm not a fan of one of them, that means I don't get to play cornhole? That kind of sucks. Is it possible, question asker, that you are good at it until this is a quantum skill, right? Good at it until observed. Because like, this is outside of regulation scoring. Yeah. There was no mental games being played by the opposition. There's no defensive sort of bag play. There's no placements that your three-year-old was putting up for sure. Right. I would not, I'm not saying to discount your skill level, but I'm saying that you need further testing. Yeah. Before you're ready to debut this publicly. Yeah. Hey, brief question, guys. Because I'm trying to figure out how to deal with it. During that last sentence, Trev was saying, I had too much of a coffee drink and I spilled some on my shirt. Yeah. And I was trying to think about. The first thing I think is, well, is that going to be in the video? Are they going to say. They will, yeah, for sure. And then I think, maybe I should say, like, don't put that in the video. But if I say that out loud, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then it's almost definitely, they have to, like, by nature, put that in the video. And here's what's wild. Should I try to do like a silent kind of like, don't put this in the video? People listening at home, Justin didn't really spill his coffee. This is a psyop that he's doing. No, I don't want to make people feel like they're missing something. This is not a visually. This is a visually interesting segment. I mean, they're missing you making a big spill on your chest. A whoopsie doodle. A whoopsie, a classic whoopsie doodle. Maybe we should just out of an, like, just out of fairness, continue to release all of our best spills. We shouldn't keep those to ourselves. Because that'll get people hooked. That'll get people, not all our best spills, because then there's no reason to become a member on YouTube. Too wet for TV kind of deal, you know what I mean? I have no other place to, I don't have a journal. Yeah. I don't have a diary that I write stuff into, but I did want to, I have no other place to put things other than my brother, my brother, and me. So, like, if I hear an Eminem song, I just wanted to tell you guys real quick. When I was flying home from New York after the Besties show, thank you if you came. So much fun. As I'm sitting there, people are boarding the plane, and I see a father and his son. And the son's probably, like, five, and it looks like, in my head canon, this is this kid's first flight. And the dad's pointing. And the dad's looking at the seats as they're looking at their tickets. And the dad points over to the right, and he said, looks like those over there are the ABs. And then he points, like, literally directly over my head and says, and those are the CDs. And he looked, and he, I swear to God, it felt like time stopped. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It felt like time stopped. And guys, there were two wolves. Sincerely did not think there would be, not a bit. But I had two wolves in my hand. I had two wolves in my head who's like, dude, if this hits, if this hits, it would be, just so there's no suspense, I don't, because I don't want you to get, like, excited. But I was like, it felt like this dude was fucking daring me to drop a CD's nuts on him. Yeah, I don't know what age you can do that in front of a child. It ain't five. That's too young. Five, right? I made the right choice. He's in bad taste for setting it up like that. Yeah. Like, it's easy. He's a bad guy. He's a little honeypot for you. This is where I believe in, like, non, you know, like, telepathy, but not really. Where, like, there is a look that you could give this man that would convey you saying CD's nuts. I got you. It would maybe attempt to relate CD's nuts. Yes. But I'm not sure. There's, like, an 80% chance it might hit. There's a 20% chance where he's like, I'm going to get somebody over here. This guy's not okay. This guy needs help. He's just staring at me and doing his waggly eyebrow thing. I think this man's having an episode. As long as we're sharing our diary entries. I thought the other day, what do you guys think cocaine smells like? Wow, that's cool. No, no, no. No, no, Justin. You can't bring your shit and then poo-poo Travis's shit. But the whole thing is Travis's. This is Travis's, like, he doesn't even do the preamble. He'll just drop it out of nowhere. Yeah, yeah. I mean, do you think it all smells? The same? Or do you think that there's, like, stinky cocaine? I'm saying, like, I've never done it. But is there somebody who has sniffed cocaine and been like, man, I wish this didn't smell so bad. I love cocaine, but I hate the smell. I love getting crazy and strong and hyper as hell. But the smell is so, it smells so bad. Can I eat it? Can I just eat the stuff? Has anyone ever tried dealing different scents of cocaine? Oh, that's cool. That's awesome. I think I'm well past. This is lavender cocaine. I think I'm well past the point where anyone's going to feel bad for me if I'm one of those people that their heart explodes the first time they try cocaine. Like, if I wait to 45 and I'm like, yeah, one, two. My heart explodes. I think it's past the point where people will be like, dear God, what a tragedy. I think it would be more like, he was 45. What the fuck was he thinking? What's wrong with him? He knows better than that. Let's take a quick break. Let's go to the money zone. And then we'll come back. and helps more folks, maybe. hey guys can i tell you i'm so excited i got some quince clothes what'd you get what'd you get well here's the thing i was thinking like i look at griffin and i'm like there's a preppy jock oh yeah who of course loves quince because they probably just have preppy jock clothes you know what i mean but no i got myself a black cashmere v-neck sweater and some like dark gray and black jeans and like a slate gray kind of like polyester pant that i can wear to all the cool kids like we're hanging out under the bleachers and smoking cloves kind of parties that i go to yeah you know what i mean and still feel fully accepted and these pants are comfortable they fit great they look great and i'm i am a big fan it's not just for preppy jock kids like griffin yeah or like a kind of cool vacation kids like justin it's also for i don't know why justin's was like accurate and mine was like obviously a like kind of a joke well two jokes doesn't make any sense like if you do one joke and one serious then one's a joke i wasn't you guys don't think of griffin as a preppy jock i don't think of me as a preppy jock at all i see you as really like emilio estevez from you breakfast club to like well i did i did i do like to super glue people's butt cheeks together i have yeah griffin looks like um griffin just is like the one guy in the movie who knows how the internet works yeah yeah the computer who wore tennis shoes with kirk cameron um but quince has a wide range of styles not just clothes also there's other stuff got everything find your next fall favorites at quince download the quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in canada and the uk too and when quince asked where you heard about them let them know it was my brother my brother and made this podcast it's the only way we keep the lights on uh hey i want to tell everybody about wayfair you might know about wayfair already because we've talked about them before in the past and you probably think it's just for preppy jocks stop it this is one of those things that we advertise sometimes that just feels like the obvious best way to do stop it sounded like griffin and i were in church choir together and i was like flicking his ear from across state lines i slapped travis's thigh as hard as i could um if you have a space where you need a very specific piece of furniture and you need it to be you know uh an exact color and an exact sort of set of dimensions good luck just going around town and trying to find a place that's going to have that thing that's going to cater to your very specific needs uh because it can't be done what you need is a sort of all-in-one provider of furniture like wayfair not like wayfair just do just do wayfair uh i have used them so many times uh because i will say like ah damn i have exactly 60 inches of wall space i need to fit a couch in and i wanted to use as much of it as possible bam i'll find a 60 inch couch on wayfair no fucking problem dudes uh i this shelf i need it to be an exact height and width bam went on wayfair found it no problem uh i've probably half a dozen things in my office are all wayfair jams what's that juice this is a wayfair piece i just found right here guys you may be thinking they don't have a uh cabinet that looks like a huge nintendo switch but they actually do you can totally go there and get that and it's why i love that isn't that wild something else find pieces made for real life and get even more value with wayfair rewards join wayfair rewards today to get five percent back on every purchase head to wayfair.com to shop all things home that's w-a-y-f-a-i-r.com hey guys i know that sometimes uh we hear that my brother my brother and me we just talk a lot about like our show and everything so i thought this would be a fun chance for everyone to play along at home oh all right awesome we haven't done this in a bit justin can you get rid of the image of the bigger you got it no i don't want to see them into the cabinet anymore it looks cool but enhance the gaming cabinet enhance enhance okay yeah hello kitty not included yeah no that's great can you get uh can you make it go away thank you um and so i really actually only have one question for this play along at home oh really um yeah justin and griffin top of your heads what episode number is this fucking a that's a cool game eight it's definitely 800 and 20 820 is this the reason you didn't put the episode number in the email title usually travis will say like here comes 827 babies get ready i want to say i'm actually gonna get out here and say 834 834 is a good guess i don't think we've hit the 830s yet i think this is 829 okay it is 836 oh yeah pretty close juice oh no sorry 837 even i was wrong that's fucking great travis that couldn't have gone any better man this is our life's work even i was wrong do you think the audience knows do you think the audience i bet they know better than we do i mean they probably just looked at you know the console of their automobile and it probably said it right there i wish to god we hadn't numbered them i really regret it i genuinely do there's just nothing it communicates other than you've arrived too late the only thing that you can derive from the number is this is long long long over like you this is hundreds of episodes there's you could glean nothing from us it would be inscrutable that's the only thing i get for the number it also denotes the monotonous and unstoppable passage of time uh yeah that's a good point too what if we labeled every episode episode one and then people always felt like it's a great time it's a great time to get on if we started with episode one if if if we went to a thousand and then it's season two we would probably yeah it's like there we go they do thousands yeah the pedometer only has three digits in it so when you hit 999 your next one is 001 again um we could start doing it like now this is version 1.2 i just feel like we started the numbers imply that i that there is a end of the show like there's not an end it's literally just us talking to each other we should have started counting down we should the first episode should have been a thousand and then the next episode is 999 and then and what are they counting down to they don't know nobody knows how about a question i got it for you right here man about a year ago i made a sock puppet for my son on a whim my son has a sock puppet i used an old wizard's incantation and made my son a sock puppet for the grip keeper all of a sudden yeah cool this my son has since requested mr puppet on the regular since its creation this can help with many hurdles i.e brushing teeth picking up toys etc and i found myself frequently leaving our home with mr puppet due to his popularity with my kiddo brothers since this sock puppet now seems to be a fixture in my life how can i make mr puppet look cooler and an intentional accessory instead of a child's sock with poorly sewn googly eyes that's from muppet mayhem in moco maryland well let me answer this in two ways one i guarantee we have some people that could give a good answer to this so please if you've got some great sock puppet tips right into the show this can be a place for learning and growing yeah um but we have to make do with what we have here what's the second answer what was the second whatever happens now oh okay great you need i it helps to have some sort of internal rigidity whether it's like a tennis ball that you've cut a little thing in or what internal rigidity nice yeah you don't want a flaccid sock puppet okay it's got weird i was trying to provide like i was trying to do like a help this is a sock puppet for a child and so i guess i wasn't we have to move past that obviously griffin okay yeah he's got to have a broader appeal right if you see a child sock puppet it's like whatever if you see a like a pickle rick yeah you're like oh that looks kind of funny maybe i could get into that too i don't do a mustache because then you're just going to be fiddling the whole time making sure it's in the exact right spot above where your hand and you don't what you don't want is like you are gonna you know dress up do some fixtures additions and then your son's like that's not my mr puppet right like he's too i don't like it any man i mean maybe that would prepare him for a lot of the media properties from his childhood are going to be treated like that you know yeah sorry mr puppets like a dark gritty so like yeah long black hair hanging over his eyes he's just a down-tempo dude now what's everyone's favorite this is live action mr puppet what's everyone's favorite muppets of course we got cook huh louisland louisland okay so this one come right back we talked about this pretty recently i know i know but i need to do like a better job of like when i'm asking a question that i don't want an answer to like a question i guess so this is a rhetorical quest what follows is a rhetorical question what's everyone's favorite muppets of course we have cookie monster we have sweetest chef we have mr snuffleupagus what do these muppets have in common they are all piloted by at least two people so is if there's an opportunity here to have an assistant puppeteer maybe doing the art maybe doing the hands maybe you attach two socks to the sides and then those are the hands maybe one of you is mr sock the other one is his living scorpion tail just a scorpion's tail that like hangs behind him and can strike you know at passersby i'll tell you what not to do is to give him legs and have those legs move around because every time i see every time i see kermit ambulating in like muppet christmas carol it sucks it sucks every time no one should it's like the spooky scary skeletons kind of it does have a very like yeah yeah it's no good what about when he rides the bike do you like that when he rides a bike no absolutely not i guess i just don't want to see his legs doing anything i want to see them crossed over a lot i like it as a technical technical achievement i like it as a technical feat it's a technical achievement i only want to see his legs crossed over a log supporting a banjo that's the only thing i need from him or behind the desk give mr puppet some new storylines mr puppet new storylines like what like a love interest or a rival yeah um maybe like an evil twin there's just no i don't feel like there's a way to build the storyline that doesn't result in you having fewer hands to do stuff with you know like if you add any other characters that's definitely gonna be on your left hand so or you're right you're an actor like maybe the love interest is a human being that you've hired to play the love interest if i'm hiring somebody i think i'll hire all pair to take care of the kid you know what i mean if i'm staffing all pair of socks man i had so much i wanted to talk about the sock puppet having a human love interest but now it feels like we've moved on to other stuff i love that sonic 06 energy i think it's huge and i think it's i think your kid's gonna learn a lot from it but it's too late now travis made a two kick ass of a joke yeah we can't go back sucks there's a crispy cream a block away from my work that i will sometimes go to for a lunchtime indulgence about a one out of four times i walk in and one of the bakers is handing out free donuts fresh off the belt it is a completely unpredictable and random interval my problem i just how do i know our listeners that i see that and i know with 100 certainty it's gonna be it's this random magical thing how can i control how can i have it how can i wrestle it down to the ground and make it my own the problem is i only want one donut it feels wrong accepting a free donut and then leaving without buying anything i always end up spending all day on this video now they can see me making a face i always end up spending money buying another donut anyway to avoid looking like a rude fool brothers what do i do that's from crispy cream conundrum in the dmv a lot of dmv representation unless something has recently changed with crispy cream policy i don't think employees get commission yeah off of sold donuts no that's true and yeah i suppose that anyone working at the crispy cream register is not going to raise a stink but it's also not like a big fucking chill out tent for life where you can come in and just like take a load off and snack on a donut and then get back out there well but it's not their business right crispy cream decided to have a policy of like the red lights on here's a free donut and they weren't like maybe we should also make them buy something in order to get that there's a loophole in the system baby you gotta work it completely this says completely unpredictable so if i think if the light being on is an indicator then this is not unpredictable then it's like we're planning it out right so you're worried about going in expecting a free donut they have a system they know when the donuts are gonna show up and they know it's probably not unpredictable they're probably not looking around like where's jared who's like ah god dang it he's out there handing out free donuts again it's a question of courtesy do i also spend money on a donut and i don't think i think if you just loudly the idea is you go in to have your donut they hand you a free one and you're like oh my god i'm gonna have one and then you're like now you could probably one thing you could do is buy a donut hand it to them yeah like have you ever tried donuts do you think they haven't ever what it why i guess why would you do that high in your own supply when have you asked sorry no no no no you're you're trying to have you ever asked have i ever asked the crispy cream employee when i buy a donut from them i have i ever given it back to them and said have you ever tried a donut before i haven't done that have you now travis don't jump over this i need to know we gotta really pursue this line of logic from our brother because i'm concerned about i assume that if you've worked at crispy cream for any amount of time you don't like them anymore okay so i feel like they probably have not tried one in a long time and they can maybe use a reminder of how good they can be well then bring a donut from somewhere else right you're trying one of their donuts you're right you made them a donut at home and you're like now try one of mine so if you go in with and you get the free one you're like well i have i brought nothing for you oh wait a minute what's this here on my pocket i haven't have another donut i have a donut for you too it's worked out good huh i'm trying to think of other businesses could you just take it take it from them put it behind your back take it back out like i got a donut for you enjoy i'm trying to think of other businesses that have a donut for you as well i'm trying to think of other businesses that have a donut for you as well i'm trying to think of other businesses that have a donut for you as well the model that when you go into that business to buy something sometimes they give you one of those things for free and then look at you expectantly yeah to buy another one of those things the bakery at kroger definitely will have like a here's the dusty old cookies we can't sell you can eat this for free if you want and we'll watch you and kind of think less of you and i think that's a similar setup right they're they're hoping that you'll buy this the cookies man i'd up a donut right now i'd just absolutely smash one boys that's not like eat it neither here nor there i would eat the donut yeah god dang guys what kind of donut that's cool dude what kind of donut do you want to eat plain hot glaze plain hot glaze that's the other thing man you walk in they try to hand me a free plain hot glaze i'm like keep it i came in to get the featured looney tunes halloween taz zombie donut i don't need this if they saw you come and choose i think they would know not to even bother to get the special cream filled lola bunny donut that you're only having today like that's not real right for grown-ups that's not real right is it for grown-ups only for grown-ups that can't be real taz halloween donut is real okay the lola bunny lola bunny donut is currently an unanswered email in the krispy kreme boxes i'm hoping they will respond to this prototype soon yeah it's a it's a venue thing you're gonna have to ask for it yeah thank you so much for listening to our podcast we hope you've enjoyed yourself i hope you learned something in grew i'm sorry to get you excited about the i hope you learned something about grew today i love that guy and his many machinations what's his deal is he a villain or not you know is he a yeah i'm not a movie guy was it is he the he's so he's the protagonist and sometimes like kind of like the antagonist of despicable me okay uh he's the biggest minion he's the minion who's learned to pretend to be human right all the minions are sort of failed hairless clones of of him yeah he was perfected yeah uh yeah so anyway thanks for listening to our podcast this year we're doing candle nights in huntington again hell yeah dude but we're also still doing it uh where you can join us even if you can't make the driven person because we're doing it in person december 5th at 7 p.m eastern time tickets on sale this friday october 30th at 12 p.m eastern time which includes a virtual stream ticket because we will be streaming it the digital premiere of the recording of the show with bonus behind the scenes footage will premiere december 18th at 9 p.m eastern time and the three of us will be in the chat and video demand access will be available through january 3rd and tickets are available now all the benefits from the show like every year go straight to harmony house which seeks to end homelessness in the huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs we've been partnering with them for for such a long time now and we're so honored to support them because the work they do is so important um and they've they've made such a difference in our hometown uh so tickets for both events are available at bit.ly candle nights 2026 or at the mackleroy.family.com um anybody have something they want to throw well we also have merch that people should check out the deeper sweet leaf tea designed by brent doherty and uh 10 of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the center for reproductive rights also if you haven't checked out the membership feed over at the mackleroy family youtube uh there's a lot of stuff there for just five dollars a month including uh you get access to videos of us recording this year my brother my brother and you days after we uh put out the podcast episode as well as early access to other videos that we make so go check that out yeah And thanks to Montaigne for using our theme song, My Life is Better With You. It's a track that is, I mean, it's such a club banger and it's such a delight that we get to use it to start off each episode with some high energy fun. I'm sorry, I'm looking for shit. I have this Bamboo Lab P1S hot end that fucked up and got covered in a blob of PLA. I mean, I love a broken nozzle. But you're using it, it's useful again. Now you're turning it into entertainment. That's amazing. That's upcycling. Trav, I need you to hit something with it because it's not going to make it. And don't do an over the back throw. I need you to really eat this thing because otherwise it's not going to make an audible sound at all. All right. Okay, what if I eat it down at the table and point the mic towards it? I think I want to see it fling behind you and hit the car. I need to see it hit the, I want to see if it hits our commemorative plate and makes a smash. It's heavy. I mean, it's hard and kind of pointy and metal. Yeah, maybe it'll stick in the wall. Maybe it'll stick in the wall, Trav. Hold on. Hold on. Let me see here. Okay, you ready? Yeah. Really hum it. Don't hit the L words. Cool. That's neat. Hey, mine is just a microwave. I chipped a plant pot. Nice. You chipped a plant pot. Awesome. Nice. Cool. Finally some damage out of this. Chipped it real good. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. It's been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad. Square on the lips. My life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. Is it true, ah, it's better, it's better with two. My life, ah, it's better with you. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network. Of artists. Supported directly by you.