MBMBaM 834: You Ain't Never Ate an Egg Like Me

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sex expert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? I'm a talk boy. I talk boy. I talk boy. I talk boy. I talk boy. Going on talk men. We'll get there someday. You are talk boy. Going on talk men. That's the name of our next podcast. Yeah. But anyway, once we stop doing this baby shit, it's going to be talk men. Talk men. Well, we're going to talk men. I can't wait to go to the men. I can't wait to get those big men advertising. I can't wait to get those big men. It's like you fill your suit up with piss, the centrifugal force of those left turns is going to whip that right out of there. It's going so fast. You don't need to worry about that. - Yeah, it's fine, it's okay. Big boys pee themselves, they're done. - It's okay. - Hey, hey, everybody, be quiet on the radio for 30 seconds. Nobody talk or anything at all, promise. - Do you want me to make that motion sound? - I almost opened. I almost opened it. God dammit. - Take 'em on the, you gotta hate her on the inside. - Stop it, shut up. - Shut up. - After the race, that's why they dump all that milk on you so you could pee and pee. - No one cares. - Yeah. - 'Cause it's all milky and pee and pee. - I mean, that's true. - I mean, I never see anybody bolt for the can after a race. Have you ever seen that? - No. - They always lift 'em up. - People think he's gonna do that. Please don't shake me. - Oh, I gotta go. - I gotta go. - Do you guys ever see football coaches leave the field to go use the potty during the game? - No, that's what the gate raid splashes for. - Oh. - So they can rip right there and do the post game interview. I showed my kids the amazing classic film speed racer and at the end, they're like drinking milk and my kids are like, why are they drinking milk? And I explained to 'em, you know, you don't wanna show race car drivers drinking champagne itself 'cause drinking and driving. But then I realized there's so many other options before you get to milk. - To milk, yeah. I also think that celebrating by drinking after driving, that's not a thing. Do you guys think race car drivers when they finish driving in a circle for four hours, then they get in their Honda Civic in the parking lot and drive home? No way, dude. They should get blitzed 'cause they definitely have a DD that's gonna get them there. - Yeah, someone else should drive. Like, if I'm driving a road trip and I drive like the first four hour, five hours, and then we stop, I'm not driving again, right? - That's their job. That's my job. - It's someone else's turn. - Yeah. The first person to do it was named Louis Meyer. And he had this habit, his mom taught him. When he won his first race in 1933, he drank a big ol' glass of buttermilk 'cause his mom always told him I was a great way to beat the heat. And then some milk executive saw that, and he was like, hell, yeah. Everybody used to be drinking buttermilk after a race. - Buttermilk, I'm sorry. I'm pretty sure buttermilk helps the heat beat me in a major way. - Yeah. - It showed me funnest if they gave them the buttermilk beforehand and then jiggled them around in a car for four hours and then they threw up butter. (laughing) - This says, this children's museum of Indianapolis page where I'm getting this data says that the tradition continued for 10 years until 1947, when milk was no longer offered. - What? - Just like anywhere. - We were rationing. - You remember the milk prohibition of 47, right? Or took all the milk? - One of the worst. - We sent a lot of good cows ever sees and they never came back. - This is an invite and steers. - This is an invite show. - It's an invite show. We're gonna help somebody today. - I attend a local chess club once a week for all ages and skill levels. Occasionally, I end up playing chess against a young child five to 10 years old. I'm 43. - Five. - Yeah, man. - Yeah, man. People like chess, people like making kids do chess. - I love to teach kids and I'm happy to play chess with them. I try to be extra nice and give them hints about how to make good moves, but inevitably I end up winning. Sometimes they start crying and beg their parents to go home. I feel awful when this happens. Help me, dear brothers. How can I avoid making kids cry when it's still dominating them over the board? That's from beginning to cry in British Columbia. - You're almost there. - Let's zoom in on a word that is called inevitably. Tell me about that. - That's interesting. That's such an interesting word you've chosen, my friend. You inevitably beat them. 'Cause that's interesting. 'Cause I've lost to my kids in every fucking game there is and I have never struggled. - Oh, and that is why shoots of ladders, maybe some of the random ones can be hard to fix. But like, inevitably one. - That's because they're your kids, Justin. - What? - I think it's a lot easier to lose on purpose to your own children than random. 'Cause you have to deal with the fucking reaper cut. If it's your kid crying and wanting to go home, you'll find a way to lose. I guarantee it. It'll become very important that you lose, actually. - There are times where like I'm playing a game against my child and I have a moral dilemma inside my heart where I'm like, am I, like I don't think they're learning anything about this game. If I just like, oh my God, I fell over. You win, right? This is why I think that what you're offering here is a service where you can win against these children and they're gonna get upset and then I as a parent can blame you, that mean person who beat them. Oh, what a jerk. But they're still getting the lesson about how to get better at chess and why they have to learn so they can beat that mean person at the park who beat them. Just like, okay, so you're talking about how like searching for Bobby Fisher, Max's parents hire Serbian Kingsley to be mean to him about chess, basically. 'Cause I think Lawrence Fishburn voluntarily isn't mean to him. - Now Larry Fishburn supports him. Yeah, he's chill. He wants him to play for the love of playing chess. Man, is that maybe good? I don't know. But the thing is, I don't know. I'm sitting here thinking about it. I'm confused with what it'll mean. - Hold on, let's take a minute. Let's take a minute and think about it. - I don't know. It's a movie about it. Look, I feel like it's one of these flicks that had a much bigger impact for us as children. And I feel like it is one of the dustiest like sort of references that we reach for so frequently. I don't know why that film made such an impact on us. We are not a chess family. We're not deep in the Bing Kingsley paint no more than any other West Virginia family, you know. - Yeah, when you're a certain type of child, you see a searching for Bobby Fisher, you see a Matilda, you see a-- - A Little Man Tate. - You keep bringing that up. I don't know. - Harry Con of Genius in it. There's a see where Little Man Tate plays pool against Harry Con of Jr. Little Man Tate can see all the angles that he's shooting the balls from. And I was like, that's the coolest shit in the world when I was like 10. - Yeah. - It's just some of us want sports heroes and some of us want smart heroes. - Yep. - And Bobby Fisher, or the kid from searching for Bobby Fisher, 'cause it's not Bobby Fisher. - And not Bobby Fisher. - He's super, duper clear about that. - No, we're looking for Bobby Fisher. If it was Bobby Fisher, it would have been, we found Bobby Fisher. - Yeah. - And they go right out of here. - I don't know. - At the worst club in the world filled with all of the world's worst people. That's where he is. Just go to the worst place. You could think of, that's where you'll find him. - Did he get lost? - Did he? I don't actually Google to find it. - Hey, Griff, hey everybody. Take 15 seconds to search Bobby Fisher. - Uh-oh. - I believe he's a turd. He died. - Okay. Okay. - A lot. - Did he have a good run? - Right before. - I really wish Wikipedia would just put it at the top like, and here's why we don't talk about Bobby Fisher anymore. - Yeah, man, I need a whole, I need a whole lot. - Okay, I'll do a whole lot. - This is so much multi-section Wikipedia. - There's a lot. - There's a lot, guys. There's a lot. He celebrated 9/11. He thought it was pretty cool. And he didn't think the Holocaust happened. He's a lot of good dude, like good dude at all. - Oh no. Yeah. - Rough. - You know, for a long time, I did think it was that, they had lost Bobby Fisher. He'd been kidnapped or something, and then I eventually realized it's like, we're looking for the next. We're searching for the next Bobby Fisher. - Oh no. - Don't search for, don't search for Robert Fisher. Yikes. Holy shit, Bobby. God damn. - All right, so yeah, he's like Hall of Fame anti-Simmite. - Yeah, not like, yeah. - Yeah. - Not like a passing like, will they won't they, like Instagram influencer anti-Simmite? - He makes rolled doll look like Charlie Bucket. - I mean, he's a fucked up. - Yeah. - That's a bad one. - Google little mandate, and make sure he's not problematic. - Is he okay? He wasn't real, is he all right? - He wasn't real? - Just don't lose. - Just lose. - Just lose one, man. - Listen, I have to learn this lesson. - It's a interesting challenge. It could be a more interesting challenge to make your brain work that way, to make it lose. - It's fun. Sometimes it's obvious. Sometimes your kids will be like, why is Yoshi just parked and not driving anymore? And it's like, don't worry about it. Something must be wrong with Yoshi's car. This is a normal part of the game. You're doing better than me. - Ask them, what do you think I'm gonna do next and then do whatever they say? - Man, when your kid goes backwards in a racing game, that's a tough one. When you see they're going the wrong way, they're not ugly. - Because of your level, if you're going backwards, I need you to at least move in the correct direction. - Man, do your kids ever challenge you in like a strength? Like arm wrestle me, or like pull as hard as you can. And you're like, how, at what point do I gauge that I'm putting up enough of a contest for them to feel good about winning, but I'm not accidentally going to win. - No, no, no, no, no. I won't do it with strength. - Contests of strength, I will not slow play. They need to know that their father is strong. - I don't wanna hurt them. - I won't, I won't, I won't, I won't participate in a contest where they could be hurt. Travis, I don't put myself in those situations ever because once, like, if the dogs get off the chain, like, I don't know what they're capable of. I mean, my arms, my arm muscles. - Yeah. - If the dogs get off the chain, I don't know what they're capable of. - Well, I just flex my arms and let them hang off them. Like, I'm Gaston. - And I did that yesterday and I hurt my shoulder. - Yeah, no. - You can't let them know you hurt yourself 'cause I hurt myself doing it every time, but you gotta mask that pain. That's daddy. Spain. You're not only going to hide that from my kids. They don't need to know how I hurt myself trying to show off for them. At my annual company retreat, we have a tradition of singing karaoke as an organization. This year my brand new boss and I were sitting next to each other when one of my colleagues got up to sing a classic Disney song. In an attempt to make conversation, I asked my boss whether he liked Disney movies. He said yes. He asked me if I liked Disney. He then asked whether I would like to sing a karaoke Disney song with him. And if so, which one? Brothers, what's the best Disney song to sing a karaoke with your boss? Some extra details. I'm not actually that big of a Disney fan. I have friends who are. My boss is a very proper British guy. I'm American. I was surprised by this as to sing a Disney song together. He has been my boss for less than three months. That puts some real fun English on the ball and I do appreciate it. I do appreciate that. Three months karaoke is a wild business. Okay. Okay. Hold on. Let's smooth this out a little bit. You to make conversation introduce to the question, do you like Disney movies? If you were looking through the karaoke book at the time, yeah, it's very easy to interpret that question and that action as I want to sing a Disney song. I'm looking to see if you want to do it because you're missing the inciting act, which is that another one of their colleagues was already up saying classic Disney songs. So really happened is someone got up to sing a Disney song, you leaned over to your boss and you're like, you like this shit? You like this shit? You hear this? And then they took that to mean, let's bust out. Love is an open door together, which is not the bad open door. You can rule out a lot very easy. None with accents. You can't go under the sea. Sorry. You can't. You can't make your boss go under the sea. I'm sorry. You can't do the Saimi's cat song from aristocrats. Sorry. No, sorry. You can't do it. Nothing from song of the South. Sorry. South. I'm trying to think you could do it. Kuhn Amitata. Shit. Kuhn Amitata is an all time Disney. That's very good and completely non-sexual. It's one of them. He safely put on it. Well, we don't know what Timon and Pumbas relationship was, but the song itself, yeah, it's just about eating bugs. Well, read between the lines guys. You think Tim, this is my roommate, Pumba. Guys, did we watch the same fucking movie? No, they're together. These two speak together. All their meals together. They spend all of their time together. I think they're in love, and that's awesome. What? They made a baby. I wonder what it would be like. That's crazy, dude. That's where you jump to. It's just a thought. If a mere cat and a Pumba had a baby, I'm just curious what it would be like. A mere hog. A war cat. A war cat school. It's about a couple of dudes that adopted child and raised him. That's a family right there, guys. I know Justin's here trying to say that's not a family. He says it's only a family they can procreate, and I'm like, whoa, dude. Yeah, they raised him to be a bug eater, right? It's also nature versus nature. We're getting a lot of psychology here from Timon and Pumba that I find so interesting. Yeah. What about something from Mary Poppins? Those are very British. What about supercalifragilistic expialidosis? Cool. Yeah. What about that? Good job. By the way, Jews, that words are real minefields. Yeah. A lot of people can't say that in one pass, but it only took me three. Rachel had to clean them up for sure. Yeah. What about the song from a hunt-track of Notre Dame? We're full of quasi-motoers. They get together about how quasi-moto is to form and like have your very proper British guy be. Yeah. Sorry. Did we rule out Pocahontas just across the board? Pocahontas is also completely out. What about a medley? What about a Disney medley? A Disney medley. Of the most problematic Disney tunes. Oh, that's fun. Make it a game where the second you hit the problematic part, you go to the next song. That was it. Next, I got a good one. It's not a traditional duet, but like I think if you're trying to get in there with your boss, a little you got a friend in me. Because then you get to do your Randy Newman impression. Perfect. We've all got one of those inside us waiting to come out. And then by the end of it, your arms around shoulders, your buzz and your woody and you come together and you're going to get that fucking promotion. You got a Gaston. It's just you be the food. Have your boss be Gaston? Hold on. No, that's bad because now you've been cuckled it. Now you've set up a power dynamic where it's like I'm your little imp. Make the boss. Make the boss. I'm your freaky little imp telling people how many eggs you eat. You don't want to have that sort of dynamic with your boss. That's true. That's a good point. Do you think people get put off by Gaston's freaky little imp who's like he fart so loud. All right, dude. Fuck. He fucks a hundred women a month. All right, man, why are you telling me all this? Okay. Do you think he does it with Gaston? It's not around like. Yeah. Dude, yeah. People are talking about like, did you hear about this French revolution that's happening? Yeah, it's crazy. They're like killing like all of the rich people. I heard that Gaston can lift up four women. Oh, man. So many antlers. Do you guys see all his antlers? Yeah, we get it. Yeah, it's he's great for sure. Yeah, you smell his burps. Yeah, that dude I guess. That's awesome. We know man, the egg burps. We all hate him. Dude, we get it. Yeah. No, I'm talking to Marie. Her son just died. Yeah, you know, who's never died. Gaston. He'll never die. Okay, cool, man. All right. Well, we'll catch you next week, man. This week, guys. We're gonna go. It's been fun. I've got a list of other things Gaston can do. Cool. No, just just leave it like under my door or something. The guys LaFu hangs out with whenever Gaston is in circle. Just give me 15 minutes. For God's sake, LaFu. No, we'll watch him. We'll watch him. Yes. Now we got him, boss. We'll keep an eye on him. We'll make sure he gets fed. Yeah, everything. We talk about Gaston losing all of my mouth. Stop beating Gaston. How are the antlers being incorporated, Gaston? He wears them. Why do we talk about Gaston so much? Yeah, man, I don't know, but I think I bring it up the most. I think about Gaston a lot, Griffin. He's a huge, he's a huge dude. And I guess we know a lot about him. There's not a lot of other Disney songs that are like. And here's one about King Triton. We get more huge. He likes to carve chairs out of Coral. He can eat a hundred thousand eggs. It's just a diff. I think there's a real power to songs that nobody's written before. There's lots of songs about how a beauty and a beast can fall in love. There's not enough songs about it. It rules living in the ocean and it's better than not living in the ocean. That's a different kind of song. That's exciting. You know what I mean? I don't need to hear a love song or about a song about how you're sad. I want to hear a song about how you want to escape the tower you live in for one day and just walk around. That's a song. I think every Disney song should have to include an egg count of how many eggs that person can crib. Useful context. Useful context. Tangled open 7 a.m. the usual morning. Line up. It's a 20 eggs and then we've got a name exactly how many eggs eat 30 eggs and then I go to I don't need. Then go back to bed. Then I fart for an hour from the eggs. Then I go and I brush all my hair and where does she put 30 eggs? And then she didn't clarify what size eggs just though. But that's Robbins. It's a robbins mess. It's just outside of her window every day. She harvest the Robbins eggs. It's all she has to eat. It's not even about food anymore. I just like egg. Putting egg in me is the only time I feel happy. I wonder what it's all my egg. I put an egg in me. When you're hungry, eat some bread with an egg on top or just then eat an egg instead. I put an egg in me. Mr. I'll put an egg inside you. We'll start with the dozen eggs and so okay then we will try to eat an egg. All right, three dozen eggs, you monsters. You're gonna eat way more than my friend. I don't, I can't even eat eggs because I'm not as manly as guests on. You can eat eggs. No, I'm not nearly as strong an egg resistant as guests on. - I think in the intro to up, right before she dies, the wife should turn to the camera and be like, I can eat 12 eggs. I want you to keep eating eggs, even after I'm gone. When I'm dead, promise me you'll still eat 24 eggs. (laughing) - Mister, where do all these empty egg cartons come from? - It's trying to get me to my wife. - You ain't never ate an egg like me. - Yeah. (laughing) - Right? Let's see. - Eat our eggs, eat our eggs. (laughing) - This can be the rest of the show, damn. - That's why I'm trying to stop it, honestly. There's gotta be a finite point at which we say, it's time to get the money zone. - Yeah. - This just feels like one of those bits where people are gonna message us afterwards and be like, "How'd you forget about eating our eggs?" - Yeah, I'm like, I know, we could do a lot of these. This, I know. - Gotta eat. - 10 eggs. (laughing) - Okay, you know what? Now we're gonna have to go chronological. All right, after the break, we'll go chronologically, starting with snow white and we'll do just all the Disney movies. We'll get eggs and all of 'em. - Eat eggs. - Eat eggs. - Eat eggs, eat eggs, eat eggs. - All right, it's going to eat some eggs. - It's gone, it's gone, it's gone, it's gone. (upbeat music) ♪ It's better, it's better with you. ♪ ♪ Computers from the other side. ♪ Hey, get it, Dale. - Oh wow, dude, you're getting it, Dale. - That's very good. - Yeah. - It is so hard, I have bought so many gaming laptops over the years, is so hard to find. It's like this impossible triangle where it's like it's the right size, right cost, not too much heat, getting thrown off, not too noisy, there's so many ways it could go off-king. - Go off-king. - But, what? - Go off-king. - That was it, thank you, that's what it is. - If you're gonna do a go-off-king, Travis, it's important that you do it like close to the front of the thing, and not like right at the back of the game. - Oh, okay, stop there, king. - If you have been searching for a new option here, finally, Dell Alienware 15 is here. They designed this machine to refine the essentials, creating more focused gaming laptop for players who demand quality without the clutter. Griffin, listen to this. 15.3-inch 165 hertz display, seamlessly into a portable 15-inch body. - Why can't I listen, Justin? - Why can't I listen to that? - You're not gonna vote for real game members, dude. This is like black. - How they gonna get a 15.3-inch screen on a 15-inch body? God damn, Dell, you're ahead of the game, just really. It's really wild, these wizards, they got spacious in here getting it all figured out. You get a larger immersive window in your game that still easily travels with you. It's got a GeForce RTX 5060 GPU, and the RTX 50 series with Nvidia Max-Q delivers draw of dropping graphics while optimizing battery life. - Oh, so I can play all my basic games 'cause I'm not a real gamer. - Yeah, Travis, you can also play basic games and do spreadsheets and stuff. But like if you're getting in the Alienware 15, you're getting in there to shoot Aliens. Like that's what you're in there. - I'm not here to play pinball in a galactic manner. I'm here to go through the galaxy and shoot at all the Aliens with my space marine friends. - I don't wanna hurt Aliens? - Well, that's then, then fuck off. 'Cause this is the Alienware experience. - It's a really beautiful looking laptop to check it out if you have not seen it. So visit alienware.com/15 today. - It's the Alienware experience, still into one iconic machine. - I just found out I will have to find my fifth new primary care doctor in seven years. - Travis, what are you doing to these folks? - I hope it's not me. - Yeah. - But one retired, one went to the Army Corps of Engineers, one switched practices. One, I called to get a prescription refund. They're like, oh, she quit two weeks ago. And I, so reserved, didn't say, oh my God, what happened? Because that's, you can't do that. - No. - But I wanna know. - You wanna know if it's because of you, if they were working on your bod and they're like, there's too much, man. - Well, I've seen the pinnacle. I've seen it done get healthier than this. - That's it. - And here's the thing, guys, I need a new doctor and I don't even know where to begin. - Well, good news. - Well, good news. - Travis, 'cause Zockdock is a sponsor and it's crazy how many times we speak our needs and it just so happens that we have a sponsor - Especially in the middle of the show that tends to happen a lot. - Well, for me, it's 'cause I'm really meaty. I have so many needs that need filled. - Yeah. - And you guys are my only resource to find those things. - Yeah, no, so Zockdock is, Zockdock is what I would recommend here. - For better option, for better option. - 'Cause I've used Zockdock so many times here in our nation's capital where it doctors are, it's you cannot find them without some help. They're really hidden, they're like in the back of a target. - That's what National Treasure 3 is about. - It's, yeah, it's just him trying to find a primary care physician. It's quite difficult, but with Zockdock, you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and it's free to use. They have over 150,000 providers within 200 plus specialties across all 50 states and our nation's capital, which is not a state, but it's still important to. - Dude, tell me about it. - And you can book about this. - But you guys pay taxes. - Dude, yeah. - Just stop. 'Cause I'll fucking bust, I'll go nuts. I'll go absolutely nuts. You start talking to me about home rule. Usually within 24 to 72 hours, you can even score same day appointments with Zockdock. I've used it so many times to find doctors for me and my kids, and I can find them with that, my insurance covers, and I can book appointments right through the thing, and it genuinely could not be easier. It is my, I don't know, there's certain things, and I feel like we do these as sponsors sometimes, where it's just like, yeah, they figured it out. They figured out how to do doctor appointments the best. And so Zockdock is kind of my go to, I don't know if you really need a new doctor traveler, if that was true. - I do, that's true. - Okay, well, let me know how Zockdock goes, 'cause it's what I would tell you to do. Your health matters, Travis, and taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated, Travis. Find and book the right doctor with Zockdock. Head to Zockdock.com/mybrother to get started, and check that appointment off your to-do list. That's z-o-c-d-o-c.com/mybrother. Oh shit. I'm on now, fuck. What's wrong, Chris? - Guys, hold on. I'm getting a bunch of, ah, damn it. I'm getting a bunch of texts from Meenal, Mrs. Studebaker. - Oh, no. - Oh man, what's she on about? - Damn, she's really blown up my fucking spot. Meenal, Mrs. Studebaker is my music tutor. - You guys know, you guys remember Meenal, Mrs. Studebaker from around the corner? - Yeah, I'm more like two, more like two to Baker. - She's, I got my fucking recital on Friday, and she says, I need to practice right now. And I'm like, I'm doing the show right now, I can't practice right now, and she's just being a real shithead about. I think she can hear us. - Okay. - 'Cause she's like responding to this stuff in real time. She's like, you're gonna embarrass yourself. - You'll embarrass yourself fast. - She does type really fast. She's 70 years old, and she types super 250 years ago. - I mean, normally I would be like, unprofessional. - Yeah. - But I would, I mean, if you need to practice, you know, I do, it's 20 make it stick. And like, I have this really bad habit of buying musical instruments, and then not actually learning how to play them in any kind of capacity, like a accordion banjo mandolin. There's like a trail of dead instruments behind me that I just did not master. I'm trying to be better with this one. And so I hired Meenal, Mrs. Studebaker, but I'm regretting that big time, 'cause she's very bossy and very pushy, but she's the best. She's the fucking best. - Not until you need, trust the process. - All right, do you guys mind if I practice real quick? - No, please, let me do it, okay. This is John Bon Jovi's It's My Life. - Okay. - Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. - That's the intro, the talk box intro to John Bon Jovi's It's My Life. - Griffin, you've been learning the talk box? - Yeah, I got a talk box. I bought a talk box for $150 thinking, this'll be easy. - Definitely, there's your lesson for you. - It couldn't be harder to use a talk box. - Are you, are it really? - Wow, wow, wow, wow. - Yeah, it's so loud in your mouth. It goes, so the sound is so loud and it comes out so fast into your mouth and it doesn't feel normal. - So what's the sound of? - Have you thought about recording yourself playing the talk box into your talk boy? - No, I don't have one of those. I have a talk box for $150 that missed due to Baker. - Man, wow. - It's teaching me how to play. - What are you choosing the notes? Or do you just ship your mouth around the sound? - I can do different notes, check this out. - Wow, wow. - But it's in the key of C minor. It's my life. - So it's, you can only do the intro, it's my life, but it's just. - No, I can do other shit. I got. (bell ringing) - Oh, around here. the world while a what a water can you show around the world. No, it's not around the world. I do know what it is, but I'd love to hear a consonant. Okay, that was pretty good actually. Is that the wrong? Do you feel like you're helping your brand right now? It looks like you're fighting a mouth stuff for you, huh? It has to be mouth stuff. Griffin, it looks like you're a difficult patient fighting a feeding tube. I want to die. Let me die. Wow, yes. I don't think they do that part. They don't do that part. You just get such a big kind of sigh when you were done. Yeah, Trav, I can't breathe while I'm fucking doing it. This is what I don't understand. This is full of my spit now. I'm gagging on this thing fucking non-stop. It doesn't feel right to have the sound coming my mouth back. That's a big problem. There's a big box too. You don't see the big box. So those are my two next time next time you're planning a shot that features the talk box prominently. Yeah, I have another, I have an original song. Oh, please, that I'm going to perform. I think I'm going to recital on Friday. You guys are coming, right? Yeah, I'll be there. Yeah, I'm going to zoom in. This one's called North Dakota Fun. Hold on. Let me try again. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. That you have to find the note in your mouth. What are you looking for when you're digging around? I don't understand the repositioning the tap. I can't do sort of Arizona, son. So it's kind of like I can do a medley of the one syllable descriptor. I think I just don't know how to make this make the sounds come out right. I don't know how to make words yet. And it sounds so cool when daft Punk does it. And it sounds so cool when Sean Bon Jovi does it. I actually appreciate Sean Bon Jovi because he really just goes. He gets down there and it's like he knows what he's fucking doing. But those daft punk guys, I don't know how the fuck they do it gang. They're robots. Have you seen this maybe built into the helmet? Oh, that's really I like it. Give me a work. It make it. I don't know the next one. Why is it? Why is it taking so much muscles in your face to do this? You don't know what it requires of him. No, I'm asking. It looks immensely painful. I'm not ready for work at make it do it better faster. That's a lot. That's a big that's got to be like the flight of the Bumblebee for the talk. Yeah, yeah. All right. Well, I'll keep working on it. I was really driven. I'm impressed though. It was a really good start. Yeah, I can almost do California love and I can do the bow wow of John Bon Jovi. But I'm gonna stick with it. This is my promise. Yeah. This is my promise is that I spend $150 on this and I want to get content out of this machine. And so I got to learn how to play it also miss due to Baker. She'll kick my fucking ass if I don't do it. Yeah, man, Friday. I mean, on the content front, you're already ahead of the game because like you just made great content. There's not a famous talk box podcaster that I know of, but I haven't. That's true. And I feel like I love going to see live music. And I've always thought like I'd love to be up there. But I can't play riffs on guitar. I can't, but there's maybe if talk box becomes a big thing talk box, talk men talk box, talk men is pretty is something that sounds like something we said earlier earlier. Yeah, absolutely. It sounds like something said earlier in the show. How long was I going to talk box just now? Because it felt like 15 uninterrupted minutes. It was about four four minutes. Yeah, it was a good four though. Just an exposed nerve that was for it. That was brave. I agree. As a big fan of the spooky season. I love going to the haunted house near my apartment. However, the problem is, I usually go alone. I walk very quietly. And I'm gone. That means at least one person a year will scream upon turning around and seeing me. Brothers, what am I supposed to do in this situation? That's from accidentally terrifying in Toronto. You say, don't worry. I'm one of the good ones. I'm on your side. Follow me. We're getting out of here. And then you you fight your way out. Like blade. You're like blade for scary people. I'm scared too. I'm a day walker. One thing you didn't know about me. I'm also scary. Well, a blade goth would be like, don't worry. I listened to Dave Matthews band. I also still like the music of Jason Brass. Yeah, because I have two years in a heart. Doesn't match my aesthetic really, but I can do both things. Yeah, I have I have a foot in both worlds. I'm going to get you out of here. Hold on to my Hello Kitty backpack. That's right. I think it's not Karomi. It's Hello Kitty. I'm the day walker. I think of the things you've told me about yourself. You go to the thing alone. You walk very quietly and you're got the easiest thing to fix is the walking very quietly. Yeah. And I think that you can fix that. I mean, I think of folks throughout history. At least when I was in high school came up with ways of doing this. Well, with wallet chains and other types of chains. Not that easy to look steam punk Akutra mock can make a lot of noise that are turned up far too loud. Yeah, the chain's Griffin is an issue because it's a haunted house. Jangly chains does not mean less spooky. I think finger symbols as you walk around maybe that's a triangle. Finger symbols is a way cooler. No, man, if I'm sorry, if I'm at a haunted house and I see someone dressed up like Decro and they've got. I'm going to think those must be cursed little simple. Yeah, same curse. Yeah, harmonica. A harmonica creepy creepy one band fidget spinner fidget spinners cool. Yeah, I'm not going to spinner that makes a noise like it's not scary. It's just like yeah, unless it's normal blood on it. And then you can use it to like look around like this is the only source of light I have. Yeah, we're finding our way out of here. It sounds awesome. I wish I had it. Yeah, man. So cool. So bright. Light up knobs. I can imagine. Let's have a contest to see who can print out the fast the best most functional fidget spinner the fastest. No, if I try my kids swoop in from out of nowhere and take it before I can make pop a can't make nothing on the 3d printer without these kids rolling up and be like make me a whole action figure. Okay. All right. I guess fuck make me a little make me a little lizard. God damn it. Okay. I made the mistake of a couple times like we'd be at a toy store or like, you know, a craft fair or whatever. My kids will don't buy something like we don't need to buy the algae 3d printed at home. And now my kids believe that I get 3d print any toy they see. Oh, dude. Yeah. And my my office and I've done very little to combat this impression in my child's minds, but it's Mr. McGorium's Wonder Emporium up in here. And I can't say like this is where Daddy does his business, but don't touch his adult legos or 50 video game consoles or or infinite toy machine. You cannot. This is Daddy's serious joke business that he does. You can't just come to my office and says, it's a mess in here. How do you walk around? And I say, I don't. I record. Yeah, I work. I make the donuts. I make the donuts. Maybe you need like bouncy happy friends with you. So, I mean, they said in the question, they're alone. And that to me feels like the hardest thing to fix. Just get a job at the haunted house. Okay. Yeah. It sounds like if you like spooky season and it's close to your house, you could earn some money doing the thing you're doing right now. Get paid to start working there. Just become a part of it through your actions. Find a little nook that no one's using for scary. You start scaring. Then at the end of the day, go out to the bus and be like, Hey, I didn't get my paycheck. Lastly, boom, you've got a job now. There's no way that would work that you are not allowed to do unlicensed scares. They will clock that immediately and they got insurance. They can't have some unlicensed scare in there untrained. Raise your hand if you have worked at four different haunted houses. That's Griffin. I just don't I just don't talk about it. I'm embarrassed, but I forced my hand. I've worked in exactly four haunted house. I was a professional scare griffin. And I don't think you have the benefit of a crime. Yeah. That's true. That is true. I played. I'm John Hill once. I played Lil Pinhead and I scared John Hill too. That's crazy. He did not scare John. I didn't do it. I worked in four haunted houses in Lil Pinhead, the sequel to Jonah Hill. He's John a mountain. I came out. That's what he that's what he evolves. He got a big strong for that role. It's a shame we didn't think of that. choke. Yeah. Then. But yeah, I was little pinhead. I scared him. I came out and I was like, we're going to put hooks in your body and hell. And he was. And that was part of a house. They sell those shirts at Walmart now that say, I'm going to put hooks in your body and hell and a picture a little pinhead on there. They'll sell those to you. Yeah. And that's Griffin. Who did that? That's Griffin in the suit. Every time you see it, huh? The voice is usually Jim Hanks. Tom Hanks's brother. But it's a little pinhead. That is always Griffin. Not big pinhead. Not big pinhead. But if you keep at it, Griffin, you might get a promotion. Hellraiser really is like Clyde Barker was trying to think of like what the next scary thing was going to be. And he just kind of threw it out. It was sort of everything bagel of horror. He's like, yeah, it's a hell demons. And they come out. Have you even watched the movies, Griffin? Are you too little? I've seen the movies. I know. I know. I really Griffin is. Have you seen the movies like you were totally little pinhead? Yeah. Are you just lying about this, too? No, I've seen it. I've read the novel. Tell me the scariest three parts in all hellraiser. Sure, man. The guy gets his hands on the devil's cube. He pushes the wrong button. And then hellhooks come and they get in his body. Okay. I have it. No, I haven't seen it. I haven't, don't spoil it. How high does hell, how high does hell get 600 meters? Whoa, they raised that shit up. I've seen little Nikki twice, which equals one tell razor move. That sounds like a hell kind of experience. Yeah, I'd rather have hellhooks put in my body and have dogs eat my bones. But you saw the second time, Griffin. But that's where I'm confused. This isn't even true either. He's lying about this. I haven't lied. I have not lied so far this episode. I don't think that I, Griffin, I don't actually think that anything you said today has been true. But I want you to know that this is true. We got some merch in the merch store. That is true. That's true. You know, macroidmarch.com, you can get a doober sweet leaf tea. There's a super macaroni brother's. It's a lot. If you say sweet leaf tea, that's true. That's actually a point, right? It's a T-shirt refreshing. A commemorative T-shirt. There's a don't talk to my brother, my brother, me, ever again hat. And 10% of all merch proceeds this month are going to be donated to the Center for Reproductive Rights, which works to protect reproductive health, self-determination, and dignity as basic human rights. Also, this week, the Bestie's Live on Broadway, October 9th at Town Hall in NYC. There's still a few tickets available. If you go to bit.ly/Bestie's on Broadway. Also, we have news. Big good news, I think at least or at least it's something it's big and good or at least something people have been asking for for a long time. We are going to be offering YouTube channel memberships for $5 a month. That means to you that you will finally be able to watch full video episodes of my brother, my brother, and me from now on on on. We said it wouldn't we said it wouldn't happen. We said it wouldn't happen. We just kept asking so we're doing it. And if you don't like it, you cannot get mad at us because it's not the only thing you can tell. But you will like it. You will like it. We'll like it. And you're going to get more though. It's not just the the episodes. That's that's true. You can watch full video episodes. What else what else guys? You also get early access to other video content like the monster factory justice technically competent more more more more. Our goal is to have video episodes of my Ben Bam out two days after the audio versions release. So usually Wednesdays and and it's it's I'm I'm very excited for this to be out there because people have wanted it for a while. It's been a bit prohibitive for us to do these full episodes. But now they're here. Nothing else will change. The shows will not be more visual than they used to be. We're not going to be missing out on anything. If you don't join, it's just an option. It's there for you. If you want it, enjoy. Makro family on YouTube. If you go to YouTube search for Makro family, you'll find it. And if you haven't done that already, we do so many good like videos there. We do streams and stuff. Come check them. You can just go there to support if you want to just kick in five bucks months to support that video stuff. That's that's the I like the video. We appreciate you. Thank you. Sick. Thank you. Thanks also to Montagne for these routine song. My life is better with you. I love this track and I love I love Montagne's music. And it's just an honor to continue to be able to use this song for this purpose. I can't throw the talk box. I have a pair of glasses here. I could throw. No, it seems unwise. Go for it. Yeah. We don't have something. I want to I want it to matter. You want it to matter? Glasses don't matter. I haven't seen something a while. Hold on. Okay. Hey, I'm going to throw the Bible. Yeah. Yeah. Why do you have the Bible at arm's reach? Oh, it's streamed faith teen Bible. Yeah, sure. Three, two, one. Ooh, that was a my name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I prefer McElroy. He's been my brother, my brother. He kissed your dad square on the lips. Oh, it's better with you. Maximum fun. A work road network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.