MBMBaM 833: Where Do We Get Travwheat?

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? What do you think it's the start of something beautiful? A small quaintant has blossomed, it's wrapping into a precious friendship. It feels like it's better, it's better with you. It's better, it's better with you. Hello everybody and welcome to my brother and my brother and Nate, an advice show from the Modren era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, Travis Nation? It's me, our middle-est brother, Travis Bigduck, Wolf Wolf Room Room award-winning, the heater, McElroy. Just me your sweet baby brother, 30 under 30 media luminary Griffon, McElroy. I thought we were passes, I thought for sure we were never going to return to this particular well, but get out the binoculars, get out the air, get out the air rifles. I think my pure imagination's playing tricks on me, Griffon. No, it's not Tim Chalamet, he's busy. I'm talking up, no, but we are on a wonkel watch and it's a, guys, this is a level five wonkel watch. I'm talking red alert, all hands on deck. What is the situation we find ourselves in wonkel wise, guys? What's happening in the world? Wonkel wise? Wonkel wise? I know this because I've had this show bookmarked with a red alert emergency updateer on this Netflix series, the moment it's live. We're talking about wonkel, the golden ticket. I want to send a big, a big thank you here because I had not heard about this because Justin was apparently gatekeeping it, but Nell sent this and this is how I learned about it and wanted to talk about it. Send it to our email. Good shout, good shout now. Good shout now. Good shout now. Netflix reality show, wonkel, now here's the thing, the prize, and this is maybe a little off message for the wonkel movies, but it's a lifetime supply of money. Yeah. Yeah, a lifetime supply of money. That would be, sounds good, no? It'd be cool. Yeah, man, like, like $100 a day, like how much money is it a stipend? Are they going to keep a budget for me and check in periodically to be like, hey, Griffin, you've used up this month's supply of money because I already have people who do that to me for me. Yeah. Are there costs of living increases over like over the every five years? Is Mr. Wonka going to budget inflation into the accounting? I don't know. Is it as whimsical as a lifetime supply of chocolate? By the way, in this series, wonka is not depicted, sadly. You do here. I would say Gene Milder, kind of a simulchrom of, I mean, it's Gene A. Ilder is who it is. Yeah. It's his voice. It's been fed in machines. Are you sure? Or is it in prison? Yeah, because his estate was like, fucking go for it, dudes. By the way, bros, let me just, let's get an affidavit sign between the three of us now. You never, ever get permission to 81 to resurrect. This is my, this is my living will. Yeah. Yeah. This episode, no matter what documents you may find, put it up in court, judge, it's me for the past. Don't. No way, okay? Please, please. Please, please. But yeah, he's putting them through the rigors of factory ownership and, you know, they're doing all the challenges from the movie. Get big and get big and swollen with juice. Like the walls, dirty fucking adult, oh, by the way, it's all adults. We should say that so that I can say things like, lick the walls, you dirty dogs. And it's okay because everybody's in their 30s to, it appears 70s, which makes sense. Yeah. It's, that's what the movie is now. It's been a while since I watched the Gene Mother Wonka movie by which I mean, like last week, I watch it constantly, yeah, to keep my morals in line, but I don't remember in that movie when they lick the walls, them coming away with messy, dirty faces. So they did some stuff to the Wonka walls on this one where they lick the walls and then it turns their faces nasty and gooey and goo, and that would be another, I guess, upgrade to the original film is if everybody just had yucky messy faces for the majority of emotion picture. Just got nastier, nastier, nastier. This might be clever, trailer editing. But there is a moment in the trailer where it's like, how am I going to play the rest of the game with them after this? And I imagine that that particular sound bite was not hard to find from what I've seen of the challenge. They're licking the nasty walls like a dog. How can it look to many eyes in the morning? The, the comments on the trailer are pretty soundly negative, I would say, some rough, some rough stuff, rough stuff here. One comment is, I'm so glad a rolled doll doesn't have to see this and that wasn't my first response. Yeah. Roll, it's not the victim. I love it. I love it. Anti-submit. Roll, doll can spin in it for all I care. Also, for what I understand, I've done some research on the old walk of movie. I would say made in spite of him. Yeah. Roll, doll's never loved anything anyone's ever made of his shit. They tagged him into writing the script. He basically handed them the book that he had typed out like a script and they said, "No, there you roll. Can you make changes?" And he said, "Fuck no." I watch a lot of reality TV. Even a lot of Netflix is not super duper real reality, per aisle offerings. I think we have long since passed the point, but let this serve as a stark kind of like check point in the conversation where we can refer to this as a social experiment. Let's, let's, I want to know Netflix, scientists, sociologists, what are we testing here? What possible facets of the human condition? Are we measuring with Wonka, the golden ticket reality competition show? Well, one episode is just all burps. It's who can burp hardest on command the most because they're flying up in the this. They've got a thing on. It's a harness. They're being lifted up towards death and they have to burp to go down. Another comment here says, the snowsberry stays like, "Norovirus." That's a very, very good, excellent work, everybody. Now, one person's complaining here that it's all adults because that was the whole point of the entire thing is that an adult couldn't win. What's a child going to do with a lifetime supply of money? Also, that's way more money if you do. Yeah. It takes forever. They're crossing their figures for the old guy. And I hope you win. On this show, you know Netflix is pulling like, "Jerry, god damn it, you got to pull it together." Hydrate, Jerry. Fuck, man. You got this. You want to go on a, you want to go on a sandals, don't you? The show isn't out yet, so I don't know they might have done this, but if I was the producer on this, I would have included one really like, cherubic, like sweet, like 14 year old boy. Yeah. It does not participate in the challenges, but rather talks about like the goodness of the human soul, all everyone else is doing it. Yeah. You see how long it takes for the other contestants to be like, fuck, he's going to win, isn't it? Yeah. No matter what I do. And how are they going to do that? They're going to be good. I would have one really sweet contestant that everybody's like, oh, yeah, fuck. Okay. Yeah. Damn, isn't it? They don't even obliterate them at an atomic level and teleport them. I don't know that. You don't know that. In a small site. Well, it hadn't premiered yet. They could kill them. That's why I haven't seen that. They're not going to kill them. They're absolutely not going to fucking kill them. They might have slayed them and squished them. I mean, they don't kill them and by the way, they don't kill them in the book. Do you think? Oh, yeah. The Oopalumpas are still in effect. They are the, I guess, hosts, they are the ones who are leading people around the factory here. Yeah. There is one prime moment where the actor playing an Oopalumpa in the trailer gives a look to the camera that could be taking us like playful, but I take it as like, yeah, I know. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Look, man. And he shrugs and he communicates a calendar. It's not broken. It is 2026. And I know. He communicates a lot with that look because what I got from it was like, hey, at least it's not Hugh Grant on a green screen. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I guess that's, I guess, yeah. In some ways, I guess it's better than Hugh Grant on a green screen. In many ways. Okay. Guys. Watch the trailer again. I don't imagine that Netflix is just trying to cover all of its fetish bases at once. Okay. Because God damn, dude, every shot in this is like licking a wall, biting something huge. Oh, he's licking something else. Oh, he's popping a big balloon. The balloon's so big. How was it? I would handle it. Buddy, there's some bondage elements in there as well. - There are, this is awesome. Every shot in it is a different- - Well, there comes two Netflix and- - That's a hook. - Willie Wankuck, Golden Ticket, who are exploring your dark and sexual imagination. - We got all those two hot to handle degenerates in here. You're gonna watch 'em get super sloppy double there. - The best part is watching all the contestants. - Let's say fain child wonder at what they're seeing. Well, it's all real. - Yeah, I mean, they do that. I imagine the tenor of the show changes once they find out they get infinite money as a prize. I have to, now that's a good social experiment. Is what will someone do for infinite money? 'Cause that seems to be like what we're offering here. I feel like we're gonna lose sight of the whimsical candy nature of the show very quickly. And people are going to get very, very desperate battle royale style, squid game style, very, very quickly. - They get excited about eating candy under hot studio lighting. Very like they're eagerly gumming it down. - Yeah. - Where it's like, okay, but it's not a fantastical magical. This is still our world. And the crew set this up perhaps weeks in advance. - Hey, I won't let you shit talk the production of the show. It looks fucking fat. - I'm trying to say that. - Yeah, they used the factory Mr. Beast built. Just like for you Mr. Beast swung the factory. - Yeah. - He did that. - If you didn't know. - Of course he did. - Hey, this is an advice show. My advice is this actually went live today guys. I know the email said the 30th, but it is, maybe that's the different territories, but it is live today. So we'll have to check it out. - Oh, absolutely. - Yeah. - Sure, you know us and are follow through. - Well, my follow through is to wait two years and then watch a 25 minute recap video on YouTube. - Just as good. - Everything got happened. - Just as good. That's probably for the best Travis. Netflix reality shows throw professionals at you with concussive force and frequency. It's really, really tough. It's a rough ride. I am a new middle school teacher and I've been teaching preschool for the last decade. I'm loving the switch and genuinely really enjoy being around these kids. - I prefer this theme deck, but. - Yikes. - However, I experience my first fight today. And upon reflection and being made fun of by group faith graders, it turns out I react to fights like Winnie the Pooh with a whole lot of. Oh, dear. And oh gracious. What's a cool hipway I can break up a fight between 12 year olds without looking like a moron or stepping in the middle. I don't get paid enough to be beaten up by 12 year olds. That's from an 87 year old in a 34 year old's body in North Georgia. Would you like to join us for Willy Wonka's, (laughing) if you could promise your body, we'll give out. - No, you need to be better at breaking up fights in order to go to Willy Wonka's, the golden day. 'Cause there's gonna be, guys, it's gonna devolve into just melee combat. - Yeah, well, one of the challenges is you have to recapture the Oompa Loompas who've been trying to fully ever since Willy Wonka died and was replaced by an AI. He just talks through speakers, by the way. In case you're curious how they do this, yeah. - Just as magical and charming as that. - Just why Jean would have wanted. - I think for this, it's a tricky situation we're talking about kids and we're talking about very, very high stakes, high intensity situation. This is not gonna be helpful, but for me, I think an ounce of prevention. You gotta stop fights before they start. You gotta always have your finger on the pulse of where the beef is, who is beefing and then do your best to untangle those knots before they break. Maybe you have a little, maybe every day you ride on the chalkboard, no fights. - Oh, so you're gonna go with a network of little sparrows bringing you information. - That could be cool too. That could be cool too. If you can act on it, if you can find ways to act on it. - That's great, but, you know. - I don't think Winnie the Pooh is a bad tactic to take 'cause I remember the cartoon All Stars Against Drugs. Winnie the Pooh was there. - He was MVP. - Like, oh, both of them don't smoke weed. - That's a bad trap. - I have a smack world of honey, right? And I was convinced, you know what I mean? - Yeah, I only did like a bunch of drugs way later. So Winnie at least got me through high school before I fell apart. - This is yet another problem that could have been fixed by the big sticky mess, a gun that shoots glue foam. - Awesome. - Right. - I don't encourage the use of. - If you had the big sticky mess from Paul Blort ball cop to a gun that shoots glue foam. - Yeah. - And these two kids start getting spicy. - And this is why, and again, it makes it really tough to have these conversations in public with Justin 'cause he'll just offer things out of nowhere like I think that teachers should have guns in school and everyone else knows. - No, whoa. - Sorry. - I mean, Travis has to hop in and be like, he means the big sticky mess from Paul Blort ball cop to. - The big sticky mess, a gun that shoots glue foam. I would also think the marble gun from Paul Blort ball cop you don't want it to fall. - That's a, that's the, falling is not, you don't want them to fall. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Now you could just present in the 50s kids could fall. - Yeah, in the 50s kids could take a fall. - Back when, you could punish kids by making them fall. - You don't want to get people to fall out of their pocket, but they would get right back up and dust the cold dust off and get back up. - Yeah, man. - They'd just break out of marble red. And then they were back to school, you know. Back when kids were kids. - Yeah. - Whoa. - Now. - Smoke was a smoke. - Yeah. - Hey kids, stop that fighting and start this lighting of cigarettes. Hi. - You think, see, that's cool. - That's cool. - I would say, you need something to distract the show because you don't want to wait in there and get an air and hit from a 12 year old and then you have to explain that later. - What about bay blades? - Awesome. Hey guys, settle this. - Settle this with the blade. - With the blade. - With the blade. - That's cool. That's like when-- - That is good. - I remember once, Travis and I were getting, we're tussling a bit and dad came into the room and he was like, if you guys are gonna fight, let's fucking do this thing. Let's fucking fight and brawl. And me and Travis were like, "No, but I don't want to. He's my brother." - Yeah. So I think escalation is maybe a good thing. - That's the craziest you've made dead sound. I think that's the worst dead sound. - Oh dude, high stakes. High stakes tactic. What if Travis and I had just been like, all right, mother, battle time, baby. - Yeah, I knew. - Got me some duct tape and broken glass to roll my face in. - I'm sorry for rating. - Yeah. - No, he knew the content of our character pretty well. I'd say that way. He knew 100%, which way that was gonna go. But you could hop in and say like, "Blade, we do this with blades at dawn. Let it rip." - Ooh, the door's open. - Yeah. - We're not gonna get used to it ever. - They might not be coordinated enough to be blade. - It takes too long. - You gotta teach it. - Here's the thing. We're talking about all these tactics on how to break up the fire, how to stop it. We need to stop this thing fast so we can get back to teaching 'cause we gotta teach in the schools. That's my number one thing. Be blade fight. That shit's like 40 seconds tops. And that's if the kids really know how to rip and spoil our alert. They fucking don't. - They don't. - They leave more than the 50s kids. - No, that's when kids could be. - 50s kids were rip in darts and slinging blades. And it was a better time. And I do think we should go back there. Just for that, just for that one thing. - Did backwards on a chair? - Just you think if someone's fighting another human being and you turn a chair around and sit on it? - It might not work the first time, but I think if you keep repeating the action. - Mm-hmm. - As a teacher, you do have one thing that will absolutely work. You could fall. - Absolutely bust ass. - And be carrying something messy. Because if a teacher does that, that's the ball game. If a teacher is in the hall and they're like, guys, you have to get out here. Mr. Paulson fell and there's fucking blue foam everywhere. It's so funny. - He fell on his big sticky mask. - He fell on his big sticky mask gun. - Yeah. - That all teachers are mandated to have by the West Virginia House of Representatives. - The Baron Trump administration has insisted that all teachers must be armed with a big sticky mask. - Yeah, that's cool. - Hey, could you just walk over to one of the kids and hold their wrist up and say, like, this one wins. - Oh, he went over. - He wins. Better luck next time, Jents. - Yeah. - Who has this guy winning? - You would say something like. - Three to one odds. - What about something like save a scrap of that for me? I'm coming in. - Save the last one. - Save the last one. - For me, I got next. - Yeah. - And you just like start throwing kids. - Okay. - Are you strong? To throw a kid it didn't say in the email. - Could you pick up these guys who were talking about this? - If you have a trunch bull build, you need to include that information in the email. - That's true. If you can trunch. - If you can trunch. - If you can trunch. - I wanna trunch. - If you can get the trunch, you gotta let us know. - Yeah. - My musical mentor said of an intentional rivalry between me and another girl violinist my age. She is unfortunately going away to graduate school. Orchestra is not too strong. - Oh no, I'm not too strong. - Orchestra is not the same without a friend of me to side eye me for not counting rests. What should I do to keep my rehearsals full of friendly ish animosity? That's from Sassless and Desperate in San Diego. - You're asking for how you find your own a new solary sort of solary. - I mean, a new Mozart. Like, you think they're the solary? - Yeah, I mean, everybody wants to think that they're the modes art, but I mean-- - Yeah. - I don't think Mozart was looking for rivals. - And the Mozart wanted to be poisoned. I don't think that he wanted that from him. - Oh! - I think one of the things-- - No, listen, I know I've been talking about anime a lot lately, guys, but I'm beginning to worry. - And one of the things that I'm jealous of in an anime style is people just declaring "You're my rival now." - Yeah. - I've been accepted, but not defined. - I could use that. - Yeah. - When I worked at Joystick, and we had Kataku to like look at and chase after it meant something. - Yeah. - That's by Circuit City, baby. - Yeah. - We took him out. - You won. - TCBY, Baskin Robbins. - You guys remember when that Baskin Robbins burned down? - Don't say that I'm pointing my thumb at myself because they can't see that, but legally. - You wouldn't think an ice cream store would burn that fast. - This is funny. We had to fuck up, didn't it? You would think cold shopmock. - And ice cream. - And I had the same thought. I thought this will be a little silly fire. Cold shop not gonna burn. - Wow. - Wow. - He's zousy. That thing went woosh. - Usually wrong. - Oh. - Super man ice cream. - Yeah. - Super flammable, I guess. - Yeah. - This is the problem with my co-workers only being my brothers. - Yeah. - Because my rival's Griffin. - Yeah. - Justin. - Yeah. And mine. I listen. If you're looking for a rival, I have discovered you cannot be the convenience. Efficiency. And just meanness of yourself. Nobody can get to you like you. You know what I mean? If you need a real antagonist, somebody who's just gonna be like in your head all the time, knows exactly what to say to get to you, can really just like at any moment, just like really knock your legs off from underneath you. - Yeah. - You got it. It's gotta come from the source. It's gotta be home spun, Chris. - Justin's got it from the boss. - Justin's got a sort of mirror room apparatus he can go into to have his own sort of smegogolum, sort of freestyle battles. - Yeah. - And sometimes he needs that. And it makes- - Yeah. - It does make you stronger. - If you work from home, and you don't have a boss in the home, you have to create a mean boss that he's your guts to make sure you work and do all the work that you have to do. - You can also be your own work wife, but that gets a little more complicated. - Yeah. - And softball sucks. - Softball man is hard. - Softball sucks. - It's so hard. And you always know who ate your food out of the fridge. It was drunk you. - I guess you're- Can you just get up on someone while you're playing the violin? - Look, a lot of this is going to come down to body language. - Oh, the devil! - Okay. - Yeah. - You need a rivalry with the devil. - The devil is playing violin. - I was- - Yeah, that he's one of his fave things. - I guess I'm- - He loves challenging people to shit and- - Since we decided nothing is a sin anymore, he's got a ton of freedom. - Oh my god. - He just plays violin. We let people do whatever they want. - Go off it. - Go off it. - I have to assume he's using AI and like data farms to punish people and stuff at this point. What's he doing? - He's working out. - Yeah, he's working out. - He's got a system. - What's he doing? You know, he's challenging people to violin battles. And you know, maybe instead of a scatter shot approach, he would love a kind of one on one rivalry with somebody. - Yeah, but there's only one the devil. So like, how are you going to guarantee that you- that you get the rivalry? How do you conjure him up? How do you say you jump up on a hickory stump? - You talk about how you're the best those ever been. - Okay. - You lament your- - That's the way you don't have the attention. - Yeah, you need a fiddle of gold. - And talk about that a lot. - Yeah. - About how, oh, if only I had a fiddle made of solid metal, this would sound so much better. - Yeah. - I'll have a child. - What? - Oh, that's good. Yeah, that'll start. - Take a little while. - You know, a little patience, but like- - Oh, and then the child will be- - The child starts nipping at your heels. You have to stay one step ahead of them. Just an idea. - I need your guys help with the thing I've been working on. You know, throughout the week, throughout the time, ideas pop in my head. And I have learned I'm not a good judge of the quality of these things. So I've created a segment and it's so many ways, man. - A segment called "TravJav." - Okay. - And if you guys can help me separate- - Can we start with the name? Is that a good point? - Oh yeah, good point. - It's not- - It almost is something. - Doesn't sound like anything. - It's hard to say, hard to say. - TravJav. - TravJav. - TravJav. - To separate out the Trav We, you know what I mean? - And where do we get Trav We? - Trav We. - Where do we get the Trav We? Is there a segment? - But some of these might be Trav We. But that's not for me to decide. I'm lowballing. So maybe TravJav, with a question mark to leave it open for maybe there's We. - We need like a nugs or you need a hot or not. Like nugs or separating the We from the Trav. What about that? - That's negative towards yourself. - Okay, here's a great way. - It's great for me actually just to establish that it's great to do that sometimes. You guys tell me if this is anything. It must be really hard being a bodybuilder knowing you'll never be as good as Dr. Frankenstein. I gave myself chills. Like the response to that gave me chills. - It worked on me though. I did. Yeah, Trav, it made me laugh. It made me laugh. It wasn't a, I resented it. - Yeah. - It was a resentful laugh. But it did make me laugh. I have to be honest. - What were you, what were you doing when this one came to you? - I think that's important. - I was at the gym. - Bodybuilder. - Yeah. - He's not fucking any golfing grip. - What do you want? - Yeah. - He's not fucking going to stuff. - You know, jeez. - Um, he has the next one. You should never hire a contractor. Spend the extra money and get a protractor. They know all the angle. - Wow, I've never seen Justin and I so split. Whoa. - That's a good one. That's a good joke. I like that. - Um, okay. Here's the next one. Okay. So, as a wise man once said, to thine own self be grew. Now, I haven't fully worked out the deployment of that one. - Yeah. This is where I'm struggling with this segment, Trav. It's like I am having a hard time imagining when that would be germane. - Yeah. - I guess if you're watching Despicable Me with like friends and talking about the challenge of his plight. And it is hard, especially in Despicable Me 4, yes, to start his life over with his protection with his family. And it's one of the worst movies I've ever seen in the theaters. But it seems hard for him. Maybe you could deliver it organically there. - Oh, okay. Cool. Okay, I'll keep that in mind. Um, Breddo is always happy because it's nice to feel needed. - You're like the first part of that is really, really chunky. - Okay. - It's not, it's Breddo's always happy. - It must be nice to be Breddo to, must be nice. Do you want help or do you just want a score? - Yeah, please. - I don't know if you want a score on the, yeah. - Breddo, that's the difference between Breddo and me is I'm never needed. - Whoa. - And then it can be sort of like a fuck. - Whoa. - Like a dark one must be nice to feel needed. And you could say that when someone you love is working on Bred. I wish you needed me the way you need that. - Bred. - Is that better? - I think so. - Okay. - Bredd is a lot like made yeast, yeast, yeast, yeast, yeast, yeast, yeast. - Yeah, good. - Okay. So the last one I got here is. - Feels like you don't even like our help. - Well, Griffin made me sad. It was a habit. - Dude, I'm trying to fucking. - I'm trying to help. You invited us into this really vulnerable space. I'm just trying to help. - But you went to like a Pagliogic kind of place. It was. - Showed it darkness, let it line. - Okay. Here's the last one. - Yeah. - Buying a candy bar in France comes with a risk of electrocution, because you get shock a lot. - That's a way, Homer. - It's a way, Homer. - You're not gonna get an immediate response on that one, Trev. But later, when I'm doing a different podcast, I'm gonna start Bustin and people will wonder why I'm busting so hard. And I'll say it was because of Trevice's awesome joke about you get shock a lot. - What's the most popular Halloween candy in France? - What? - Shock a lot. - Yeah. - That's clean, seasonal. - Yeah. - I don't know, shock a lot. No, it works. Yeah, that lands. - What's electric chair operator's favorite Johnny Depp movie? - What is a French electrician like to have for dessert? - That's cool. - Yeah. - What is a French electrician in Jrois for dessert? - Shock a lot. - Two S's please. It's super sweet. - Ooh. - Well, spelling. - Yeah, it's awesome when you get to spell out your jokes while you're telling them. - Yeah, I'll just wait to remember how to spell dessert. - Yeah. - Because it's super sweet. - Because you want seconds. - I like seconds on money. - Ooh. - An infinite amount of lifetimes of money. - Live time supply of money as long as you talk to your brothers for several hours every week and people don't change their minds about enjoying it. It's a lifetime supply of money. (laughing) - Oh my God. (upbeat music) - I love Warby Parker frames. I love Warby Parker frames. And I know that there are sponsors and so a lot of people think like you're bias. But the reason I'm bias is not because of the sponsorship. It's because the frames look so good and they're the only frames really on earth that cost a normal amount of money. Eve, you know what? I'll say it, a good amount of money. - Whoa, whoa. - A lot of places you go and all the frames look like fucking dork-ass bullshit that make you look like a pervert. 90% of the frame and then the 10% that don't make you look like a pervert, they cost a thousand dollars. - And listen, in good taste, we can't name the brands that make you look like a pervert, but you're, you know it. - You know what you're thinking of? - That's the one. - Warby Parker frames won't make you look like a pervert unless that's your style. They might be able to help you out there, but you won't accidentally buy pervert frames 'cause they all look so cool. These are Warby Parker's. Check this out. - Slope, slop, bleep, blank, a different pair of Warby Parker's. That's right, I have two pairs of glasses. - Those are the ones that grew up in big doubt for when he once looked like a pervert. - Yes, but I had some special mods done after market. Warby Parker doesn't like me talking about that, but the, I got the special transition lenses that move at a sort of perverted ratio and Warby Parker doesn't like that I do that. So I wish you hadn't brought it up. I haven't switched back to the other glasses for continuity. You can throw these goddamn glasses across the room and they'll be just fine. - Oh yeah. - Wow. - It doesn't say that in the copy, but it's been my experience that these are very sturdy frames. I mean, it's great. You get the app and then the app has like a virtual like try-on thing where you look at your face and then it shows you what the glasses look like on your face. And the technology is so advanced, you guys that it can make your current glasses that you're wearing disappear while you try on the new glasses. - Oh, fucking sick. - That's incredible. - I love War Parker. It's, I have notifications turned on for the Warby Parker app so I can get alerts when they have new, exciting, extra-wide glasses options for my- - That is very exciting and maybe the dorkiest thing you've ever said. - It's fucking true though. Truly, truly, truly, I'm die-hard Warby Parker. Tell I die. Also, every pair they sell, they give a pair to someone in need. That's so, that's awesome. And the prescription glasses start just $95. And that's such a, like- - And it's such a great- - Contacts online, I exams, I classes, anything you need. - Absolutely, right now by one pair of glasses and get 20% off any additional pairs at WarbyParker.com/myBrother. That's 20% off any additional pairs. When you purchase one pair at W-A-R-B-Y Parker.com/myBrother. - You know, when the shitty coffee table that I bought, not from Wayfair, broke, shortly after I purchased it, I knew that it was time to get serious and get Wayfair. And Goddamn if they didn't deliver. - Literally, yeah, I mean, crazy. - And figuratively. Goddamn if you bought something on Wayfair and they're like, "Alright, come get it." That was so busted, dude. - It's a dog's house. - Yeah. - No, I got a new coffee table that's sturdy as hell. I could tap dance on this thing. Like in La La Land, which I haven't seen, but I think happens. - Yes. - And I put together a Wayfair vanity that I bought off Wayfair yesterday. It was a joy and a pleasure. And my girls love it. - Is it for your kids or is it for you and they just liked it? - What do you mean? I was just talking about a Wayfair product at home. - But was it a vanity you got for them or for you? - For them. - Okay. Okay, I was about to be really thrown off because you're the least vain person I know. - That's so sweet. Thank you. A little bit sweet, a little bit hurtful. - It's actually mean if you think about it. You don't want to be the least vain person someone knows. - Griffin's right in the middle. - Yeah, I'm gonna, I'll think on it. Go ahead with what you're saying, I'll think on it. - Yeah, no, they've got a ton of stuff. They even have a playground equipment that you can purchase in there that I've been looking at 'cause my kids have gotten bigger and they need to update the playground set, you know, stuff like that. They've got stuff for every style and budget. Whether you're replacing something or redoing a whole room, you can find it. So the fine piece is made for real life and get even more value with Wayfair Rewards. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase. Head to Wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's w-a-y-f-a-i-r-d.com. - Shally-lulule, fuck, fuck, shally-lulule. - Yeah. - Oh. - (humming) I want a much squad. - Wow. - (humming) I want to much squad. - (humming) - What can much squad? It's podcast within a podcast, profiling latest and greatest brand eating. I realized recently that I have been overrelying on much squad because, well, it's, I love doing it. I love talking about fast food. But sometimes I bring stories that I'm like, I don't know if they really demand attention. - Yeah. - So I'm going to try to be smarter about when I have something to bring to the table. There's, it's, it's, it's important. Either like news you can use. - Yeah. - Or it really important stuff. - Or the CEO burger king. - I'm not going to tell you. - The CEO burger king has lost his mind. Is another, like, we love that. - That's another one. Well, that's an ongoing situation. Like, I'm not going to tell you that Duncan and LL Bean have a collaboration where they gave tiny sweaters out for the drinks and then you can buy that real full-size sweater to match your coffee drink sweater that you bought. - You're not telling us about that. I'm not going to tell you about that. - Awesome. - I'm going to tell you about the Arby Steak nuggets. - Oh, I said, if I, if I say the name Caleb McDaniel to you, what's your media react? - YouTuber. That's a YouTuber name if I've ever heard one. - Okay, so you're guessing, what do you got trapped? Do you know Caleb McDaniel? 'Cause I don't, I was hoping you guys did. He seems to be professionally handsome. - No. - Okay. It says reality TV star model and influencer. So Griffin, maybe if you could give me, let me know what Caleb's been on, Caleb McDaniel. I can't imagine whatever series he's on. - He's on, he was. - Love Island. - Yeah, I didn't think it was one of the talking forward ones. - Yeah, I didn't think it was one of like the discussion heavy ones. Judging from the commercial, which we will check out here in a second. So the steak nuggets are back. I should say this up front. - Wait, unless, unless this is about John Hopkins alum Caleb McDaniel who want to pull a surprise for history, which I also found in my Google. - Is it him? Sorry, is it, I imagine that's a old man? Is that, is it pull a surprise award winning? - Maybe like 45. The steak nuggets are officially back at Arby's for a limited time. Now slow-cooked and juicier than ever. - How were we doing it before, Arby? - Fast cooked, fast cooked, dry. - I'll tell you this, I trot him last round and whatever cooking they were doing was the wrong speed. (laughing) - Slow or fast? Any difference to the procedure would be welcome. They're slow-cooked and juicier than ever. Built on 100% steak. - Awesome, fuck yeah, dude. - That's crazy. - Stakes, stakes, stakes, stakes. - Built on 100% stakes. - Well, so when you're building your castle, you mustn't build your castle on the sand. You must build your castle on 100% stakes. - Stakes? - On of them foods that I think you'd have a hard time mixing percentages of other things in with it. It's pretty, it's pretty, I don't know, there's really just the one ingredient for the most part, right? You don't wanna reconstituted at least 51% stake. - Right, it's 100% stake. Now, it's built on 100% stake. Not comprised of 100% stakes. - That sucks, that sucks. - Sucks, I hate that. - They made their way across the sand. - You know that somebody said like, and we'll say it's 100% stake and someone's like, "Oh, there's breading." - There's breading on it, so we can't say that. - There's Pepsi, there's a lot of, there's seams of peptides running through each stake nugget, so we need to be very careful with our legs. - What about the air, the space between the stake molecules? All right, done. - All right, done. - You bring this up, God damn it. - We're bringing, so the stake nuggets are also being joined by a horsey ranch. That's a new, a new sort of thing you can dip them in is the horsey ranch. - Horsey ranch, okay. - Yeah, horsey ranch. - Horsey ranch is fun to say. - If I ever had a place with horses that people could come and pay money to ride, I would probably call it that. - That's what they call it in Yellowstone. So I'd like to show you guys the ad, I'm mad at myself for thinking about Yellowstone. - Yeah. - And you don't have to. - Yeah, yeah. - Hey, darling, don't be shy, I'll be expecting you. Are we still me, you're looking for an owner's other guy with good taste? Something a little more mature. Oh, and darling, I want a sweet snow. - Okay, let's stop for a second. - So let's stop and talk about Caleb. - Yeah, talk for a second about what you guys have seen so far. - Yeah, he's wearing a suit and a chain, no shirt, beige cowboy hat, and handsome. - Bage, beige, beige, beige, beige, beige, t-to-t, it's a beige boy, and handsome, and the chest and tummy looks good, in the way that we like. - Now on-screen presence. - On-screen presence, a little mushy mouth for my, I don't know that one pulls off a Southern sort of gentleman and talks that nervously. It seems like he's scared to talk about steak nuggets a little. - Not a lot of dynamism, not a lot of energy coming, except was that enough? - Was that good? - Did you like that darling? - Can I go lay down? - All right. (upbeat music) - See, as kids, we readable things. Like, check, check the chicken nuggets. - Sorry, can we try that again? His Kayla was that? Can we take another run at that big dog? - As kids, we only got to do one more pass at that. - If you could step forward like a human being does? - That would be great. I think you're thinking about it a little too much, Kayla. If you could just-- - Overthinking it, and I agree, shape-shifting chicken nuggets is a mouthful. - Yeah. - If you're old enough to do your laundry, you've got grown on this. It's time for a nugget. - What, sorry, what, Kayla? - If you're old enough to do your laundry, you want your outgrown eating shape-shifting chicken nuggets. - Okay, so what do we got? What do you have instead, K-B-K? - It's time for a nugget. Are we steak nuggets? By itself, pieces of 100% steak. It's the quality of grated nugget. - That's gross to serve. - Sorry, what? - Let's grown-ups deserve. He looks to be putting up complicated ideas, challenging ideas. You have to deliver them with force and clarity. - Awesome. - The idea that a dog can't eat nuggets anymore is a sea change, K-Lub. You can't just like announce that from on high. You can't wander down from Mount Sinai and be like, guess what? Adults are off-nugged. And not dipping it in the wine glass, though I expected the wine glass was full of this new horsey ranch, yeah. And that was why it was so present in this whole, it's 'cause you're on the date night with him. Let's move on. - What? - I don't think it's gonna 100% steak for me, darling. - What? - K-Lub. I think he asked the camera to focus on the 100% steak for me, darling. But man, guys, these nuggets look wet as hell. - Yeah, yeah. - Sorry, Orbeez, we're touching these things with our fingers in the car. - That's what they want to try to encourage, but I'm not a K-Lub McDaniel. No one wants to see me slurping this sauce off my little thingies. I hope that this ad ends with like a 30 minute jump forward and it's based so it's just covered. - Slop in drippings. - Hey Travis. - Hey Travis. - Hey Travis. - You're a horsey ranch from Mom. - You see, the shit out of these. - I'm not for enough goods. - All right. - Door. I'll stay in the soup. - Okay, so he does make a mess of the horsey ranch. - And that's gonna look like K-Lub for sure for sure. - Yeah, man, that's definitely gonna get, I'm gonna stop this share so I can break the temptation to play the entire ad again. - Yeah. - Hey, does say in there, can we focus on the line, your horsey ranch or my mind? - Yeah, that's a such a swing that connects with nothing. It's an absolute whiff. - I'm sorry, it doesn't sound like anything. - A ranch is not a, I mean. - I guess like your place where you house livestock. My big thing with this commercial gang, and I know if you're listening to the audio product, maybe this is lost on you, but he housed about 16 of these nuggets in a montage of nuggets just to strut. He really tore through these fucking things. - As someone who's eaten these guys, it is bordering on malfeasance that they are not depicting at least 20 minutes of chewing per nugget. - Well, like it is, it is not a slurped down, it's not a choke down, it's a chew. - It goes, it takes his hat off. - For that. - Between each one, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, we got a cut. - Bring him to Spacoon. - Mm-hmm. - Now, he's panicking. - He's freaking out. - He's getting out of here now. - Caleb, we're sorry. - I can't tell if he likes it or not, I don't understand. He may be choking, or he may be reading a URL. It's impossible to tell. - He's famous there. Yeah, put it in the commercial. - Yeah, that's coming out of your paycheck, Caleb. - You guys are paying me? - No, Caleb in nuggets. - Have we found this shirt yet? Is someone on that? - I don't have any shirt. - The last place he had it was in the sandbox. - When he says I wear suits now, he means instead of absolutely nothing. - I'm assuming. - This is the first clothes he's been given. He was a house elf before that. - Yeah. - I have my dad's hat now. - Yeah, Caleb, we know. - That's the Arby's Nuggets situation. There's other promotions going on with these guys, but I'm not gonna be dealing with it. I'm sorry. Don't get the nuggets, by the way. They taste like someone took a smoke break inside of your mouth. - That's great, 'cause I see here in this TikTok that he did add #ArbySpartner, which thank you for clarifying that. - Thank you, God. - 'Cause up to now, I had no idea that this was sponsored by Arby's. - Yeah. - Okay. Before I navigate away from this, I am curious. There's 1500 comments on this. And I could not guess the tenor. What tenor would you guess? - I wish he'd dip my ass in ranch and gobble me up. - Who is this? - No, 100% all people. Let me get a bite, not of the nugget. This is fire. He'd keep a damn check, okay? I want Arby's now. We got a text and now we want steak nuggets. Travis, people are fucking losing their minds. - Oh, why is this loss? - This is posted on his TikTok channel, so it would be wild if we were like, who the fuck is this? - Who's this fucking guy? - This is fucking guy. - But the Arby's in Los Angeles closed. (laughing) You've only got one Arby's? - No. - There's no. - There must be like in the flyover cities. I have three, just within 10 minutes of me. - There's no fucking way. - That this is full of Arby's? - Or zero, it sounds like. - Los Angeles is huge. - No one's eating beef over their trap. (laughing) - No one's over there eating beef, it's all satan. - Sakes? - Yeah. - Is there a gang of people? - No. - There is a gang of people near me who about once a month. (laughing) - This would be a way different question. - A weird question, is there, - Where? - I need your help. - There is a gang of people near me who about once a month run up a popular hilly hiking trail all dressed in suits of armor. I haven't seen any flyers for how to join them or any information about them. Should I just show up one day and start running with them to prove my muster? How do I earn their respect? Important info, I do not have a full set of armor, only a six foot broadsword. That's from Oathseeking in Oregon. Fuck. - If you don't own the armor, that's fine. You can always page or squire for them. Start, you'll start with page. If you don't have your own shit, except for one broadsword. Unless you wanna roll up there like shirtless, maybe just wearing Caleb's get up from this Arby's commercial with your broadsword and say like, yeah, I'm more of like a barbarian type. I find the armor gets in the way of the killing. - You've fashioned some of your own protective pieces. Well, how possible is it to get a full armor set going? Is that a weekend? Is that a few days where we're thinking? - You talking, you talking play? - You talking play? - You talking leather? - I'll listen, I'd rather run up and mail. I think, I feel like mail would be the play. - It feels pretty heavy still. - Well, I've read that there are some, let's say specialty shops in town where you could find some chain mail-esque garments you could wear. - Yeah. - Okay, tell me more about these and their addresses and phone numbers, please. - Maybe we're feeling perhaps maybe not necessarily defensive as maybe I bet they have leather that you could wear as well. - Yeah, leather's pretty easy to find out there, I bet. - I can have very clear memories of seeing the first time I saw a guy's from the SCA. I think all people, the guys from the SC at the park, and they were hitting each other with swords and I just thought like. - How do they not find out about their friend? They told me about this. How do you find out about this? Like nobody told me about this. Now, knowing myself, I don't think I would have gone, but I would like to know when it's happening. - I would like to know that it's happening, you know? I don't have to be one of the fireball guys, one of the main ones. I don't have to be one of the lead sword guys. I could be like, potion shop guy, you know what I'm saying? - Yeah, that's the dream, you know? - It's like to know what's happening. - I don't wanna be in the middle. I wanna either be like the Lord or the King or whatever or like the guy who runs a stall in town who's not running around, not getting hit. - Yeah. - But does fully get to like, participate. That's why when I was on an inner, like a friend, you know, softball league, I was always so excited when there were too many people and I didn't have to actually like go out to the bases but I got to sit on the bench. But I was there, I was on the team. - It's fun. - You get off the hang time? None of the work, none of the sweat, no pressure. - No pressure at all. I don't know where one buys armor but I bet you I could buy this. So we can get a pretty convincing Shrek costume delivered. And now all of a sudden, you're hiding in the woods, and you're waiting for them, because they need a monster. They need a bad monster to jump out and scare them in the woods, and say, "Good, you want them to be tired, because otherwise they'll kick your fucking ass." Oh, yeah. It's around. Yeah. They'll stand your ass right back to the swamp. We get all big boulders at 'em. They're like, "What? They're a little excited. They'll add a danger." I think that rolling up in a full suit of armor is too presumptuous. But I also think showing up no armor at all is cheating, because the whole point is the wrong. You need to roll up in some clanky pieces from a cast iron, because you're going to prove that you may not be a knight, but you have the heart of a knight. Right? You're going to win them over and then you're going to prove like, "Yeah, there's something about." Like, I don't know. They haven't had the training. They don't have the mana to accomplish the magic, but God damn it, you can't keep them down. Right? Yeah. And then eventually, you're the main character. Yeah. You just started to squire. Yeah. My lord. Just a squire. You don't even have to go the whole way up the hill. Probably. They probably don't even let squires go the top. No. I bet squires have to stop halfway up. There's a cave. There's a cave they leave their squires and pages it. Yeah. What if you get a full suit of armor? Uh-huh. And out the day that they're doing this, you go up the night before, and then as when you hear them coming up, you light a cigarette. And then once they get up, you're like, "Pff, finally." And then they're like, "Who is this bad boy?" Awesome. You're in. Just like that. And you're like, "I started top of a dead dragon." Yeah. That sounds so much harder than mine, Travis. Mine was already pretty hard. A dead dragon would be tough. A dead man in a Shrek costume. And you say, "I've already slayed the fearsome ogre." I've slayed the ogre. Yeah. You can get up a little earlier if you want to steal a kill from me. That's cool. Can you duel someone to get in? I think that's the only way you can get in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're gonna have to find somebody with the same kind of measure, like dimensions as you're gonna take their armor. Basic shape. Yeah. You're gonna take their armor. You don't want to go for somebody way taller than you. Hit their oath blade. Yes. That's cool. Yes. Awesome. Find out if they have any very capable children who will be coming after you next. Okay. That's true. That's true. Yeah. Or children with the potential to become capable who will train relentlessly in order to feed you. Yeah. If you define somebody who's infertile, I think that's the dream. I think maybe if you could, and then if you could teach them violin and make them better than you are, then you've got a full suite of life. Trying to kill me and also they're better at violin than I am and they're making me practice all the time. It's a full service enemy. And they use their violin strings to shoot arrows at you. Shit, guys, we are so close. Yeah, I'm almost there. Let's, in fact, let's just, you know, let's pump the brakes. Yeah, let's do a good idea. We need to back off. Let's, no, let's just not record this one. Just like this one. We'll just like after the show really knock this thing out to the witch. Thank you for listening to our podcast. I really appreciate it. Yeah, man. Really genuinely. Thank you so much. This is our 833rd episode and this is when it starts cooking. This is when it really most podcasts don't start really cooking until 833. That's when you know the heat is on. Yeah. We got some merch in the merch shop right now, but come this Thursday when October rolls around. We're putting so much incredible shit in there. We got a doober sweet leaf tea inspired by by Taz Royale. It's a design that looks like a, I don't know, boneroo tour poster style design, I guess, very almond brothers coated that I am fucking wild about. We've also got the Super McRoy Brothers logo pin and the don't talk to my brother hat, which is a really, really, a really fun design that I'm so excited to see out circulating in the world. And 10% of all of our merch proceeds this month will also be donated to the center for reproductive rights. All of that is over at McRoy Merch dot com. Awesome. Next week, the besties live on Broadway October 9th of the town hall in NYC, get your tickets now at bit.ly/bestiesonbroadway, support my brothers. They need you to be there. We got a new season of the adventure zone starting on Thursday. This is called Taz Providence. We're playing a super normal, super fun game we've played at live shows before it's created by Ercidice as a story about gods and the wonderful adventures and silly hijinks they get up to. And you should play super normal as well. You can find it at ercidice.com/supernormal. It's a really fun, uh, kind of short form, one shot or just a couple of episodes. We've used it before. It's great. Oh, and thanks to montane. Hell yeah, dude. My life is better with you. I have a pencil. Okay. It's a black-wing pencil. Cool. I know you have better stuff than that, Justin. Uh. Throw something expensive. I got a bunch of amiibos. Oh, hell yeah, dude. I got a big bag of amiibos. I could just grab a few of them. See, not any of the expensive ones. Donts. Yeah, and none of them that have been in your mouth. All these motherfuckers have been in my mouth, dude. That's crazy. We got Star Fox. We got Ryu. Try a barrel roll. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, good one. Thanks. I got to write that down for the next trap chat. Oh, boy. Gamondorf? Yeah. Hell yeah. That's a beefy one. A quick, quick pop in the mouth just for the old, old timesake, right? All right. No, no, no. No, that one. Oh, I can't kick it back. I just want to have an X-Max fun drive goes. All at once, sir, you think like, oh, yeah, all at once. Yeah, all at once. Yeah, all at once. It's going to be like a race. Okay, yeah. I'm going to get out. I don't like the throwing backwards over. I just stepped on one of them is Rob the robot. It hurt. Oh, it's a bad one to step on, man. You got to take a curvy all day over that. Sheesh. Here we go. Three, two, one. I love throwing stuff. My name is Justin Bakery. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. This has been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad. School. We're on the lips. I'm going to get out of here.